79: How to REALLY keep family first AND be a money-savvy business leader with Cathy Savage (Enneagram 8)

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos, an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up. Let's go.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof Bulletproof podcast. I am giddy. I am not gonna lie. I know I've said like, I'm so excited for an interview, but this is one of the people that I respect more than anyone in the entire world.

And I don't throw that around lightly. I have learned from this. I'm gonna get choked up. I'm feeling it. The respect I have for her as a woman, as a business builder, as a multiple business builder, as a wife, as a entrepreneur, as a human being, as a woman, as somebody who walks her talk and everything she does. There are very few people that are like that. I mean, in my world, I can see maybe three or four that I really can say that with full transparency that in every aspect of her life, she's in integrity. And when I met her, gosh, it was about eight years ago now, I remember feeling her energy in the room and it scared me a little bit because it, she was way more evolved and mature and wise than I was. But it, it was like, oh, my soul knows hers. And it still scared me because she's so powerful and she's from my second favorite city in the entire world, which is Boston. And she tells it like it is, which I love. And getting to know her over the last eight years has been such a gift. And.

She'S thrown praise my way. And I know she doesn't do that lightly either. We're very much alike in that way. She's also an enneagram 8, which I knew all along. And so when we actually believe in somebody, it is with all of our being. And so for this woman so early on in my, you know, revisiting what entrepreneurship looked like for her to throw so much confidence my way and belief and you know, in a time in network marketing, which is where we met, we weren't, we aren't financially linked. And yet she poured so much into me at a time where I didn't know if I had it in me to do this again or do that again. And this woman just. We would see each other from across the room, we wouldn't even say a damn word and so much was said in a look and just a mutual respect. And it was like, I love you and I believe in you and go get them, girl. And Kathy Savage, if you don't know who she is, you need to one of the most inspiring, powerful, integrity filled entrepreneurs, leaders, thought leaders, teachers. You must follow her. She's just brilliant. And Kathy Savage, it is such an honor to have you here today. I love you so much. I can't even like get through this thing.

Oh my God, I'm gonna cry. Are you kidding? Thank you so much. Right back at you. I know I'll tell the same story about you. Seriously. Thank you.

You know, I met you in network marketing, but you were entrepreneur. And you know, before there was, you know, a coach on every corner and everybody's like a life coach and all this shit, like you were this, you were in this space and on the online space before it was cool and before people thought it was a thing and you were probably made fun of for it, I'm sure. And being a woman so powerful in it. I remember when I first met you, I was drawn to that aspect of you too. Like, not just the network marketing thing, because I knew you were way more than that, even though that's amazing. And so I started following what you were doing and how you were helping women. And even though it was in fitness and I mean, you turned champions left and right on the fitness stages, but it was the way you did it and it was with this genuine love and mothering and what was best for them. Not just like the banging booty and the bikini shot. It was about classy, classy, self honoring and loving people. How did you end up in that to begin with?

Oh my gosh, thank you for that. That means a lot to me because you just sometimes you never know how you're perceived. So thank you for that. Trace, you're just so beautiful. And I know all the listeners know that too, how beautiful you are.

How did I get started? You know, it's such a love story, quite frankly. It was me coming out of college, having, having a great job, but being athletic all my life. I needed to be out and about. And I wanted to maintain being in good shape. Health and fitness was really so different than what it is now. And I decided to just kind of take my dancing skills to the gym and started teaching aerobics in the 80s. And that's really how it all started, you know? You know, it's so funny, you know those memes of those people who are doing the competitive aerobics with the blue leotards? Like, I know them. Like, I did that. I did it. And so people will say, oh, isn't this funny? I'm like, yeah, that's Kurt, that's Ted. I know them.

So I started doing that because I just needed an outlet from corporate America, and.

It turned into competitive fitness because it was just getting started, and I just threw myself in there. It was just an evolving sport. Loved it, trained myself, got in there, did okay, and then started realizing that people needed help. And I created a niche because there were no coaches. There were no. I mean, there was Jimmy the trainer who would come in and look at everyone, but there was no coaching. And I studied leadership and management and coaching and all those wonderful things through my degrees and my classes in college. So I was pretty. Pretty in tune with. With the coaching style. I always read coaching books early on, things like that. And then it evolved into me coaching people who would actually come to me for help. And so I kind of created the snowball effect of a business that truly evolved from literally nothing and without a playbook. It just kept evolving and evolving and evolving into other things. And what I can say is I just kept listening to the needs of people out there, and I would literally throw it into my business because I knew that people needed it, because I listened to what the needs were. So that's kind of how I started that business. And it was just wonderful because there weren't. There wasn't anything like that going on. And I went online only because I was having so much success that the magazines were covering me, I was writing for magazines, and I couldn't control everybody wanting to fly to Boston. So the Internet was new. Yes. That's how long ago the Internet was brand new. And I just started throwing people together and created that first online program. Wasn't pretty, but that's really. I just did it because I couldn't handle the influx of people who wanted to work with me. It was awesome.

Well, one of the things. I mean, we hear the word, you know, I love the show Schitt's Creek.

And, yeah, I think you're the one that told me about that show. Yeah. I started watching.

It's so funny. But, you know, we hear the word, like, this is on brand. Like, everything's about branding. And this is my personal brand. And Mama Savage was a personal brand, like, long before the Internet. Like, you are the matriarch of what a personal brand honestly is and one with integrity, and I love that, and I love what you said. Like, you and I are both sports freaks. Athletes.

Yes.

Like, we both study the best coaches that have ever walked the earth. Like, and a lot of that.

I think that energy comes out in us as well. The greatest coaches did exactly what you said. They listened.

Yep.

Listened for what was needed. They kind of like. And this is what I love about you. Like, you. You can hear what they're saying they need. Right. These people are saying. We know this. Like, they're saying what they need. But you actually. This is why you're so freaking good at what you do, is you hear what they say they need, but you know that you're gonna kind of sort of give them what they want, but actually deliver what they don't even know they need.

Exactly.

Which is why you are a master and why you're unmatched. So you start developing this personal brand, and then all of a sudden, the fitness thing just explodes, and you end up in network marketing around the same time, against most people's opinion. Right now, you're building them in tandem.

Yep.

Taking them both over seven figures at the same time.

Yeah. That was fun. Clearly in integrity.

Like, completely not negotiating the Kathy Savage life rules.

Yeah.

Like walking your talk and family first.

Yep.

And that was one of the things, you know, I'm a single mom, been one for 13 years, and that is, like, I love all the things about you, but, like, when I think about you and your kids and how you show up and show them. Not just show them. And have compartmentalized your life. Like, this is the Savage business. This is the network marketing business. This is the wife to John. No. Like, they're encompassed in all of it. And the lessons that you teach those beautiful kids of yours along the way is what's so important. I think you and I both see this a lot in entrepreneurship, especially with women that.

You know, they feel guilty if they're working too hard on building this legacy business, but at the same time, they're, like, pulled away from the kids. Like, there's never this.

Ugh.

Right. Right. What is it about you that you think that you've always been able to not only excel and take things to the top in Everything you do professionally, but never negotiating that family first. You've never negotiated it.

Yeah. No.

Say no to a lot of stuff.

I've said no to so many things. So many things. Thank you for that, too. Gosh, this is fabulous to hear you talk about me so well, it's just the truth, y'. All.

It's really quite simple. They come first. My kids come first. And I know that that's so weird in our industry, too, because, you know, we hear these amazingly successful people say, hey, you know, I tell kids when I'm on the phone, mommy's on the phone. And they know. And I've never had to do that with my children. My children will never think that a phone call, I don't care who it is, is more important than them. And at the same time, knowing that. Knowing that they never would even think to bother me if it wasn't urgent. So when you tell kids, and I've done this when they were little, because when I was building my business, you know, it was before kids, but when I was really experiencing those big, momentous things, I was filming for MTV and my kids were little, and I remember the producers calling me, and my kids are crawling all over my, like, my legs. I just let them crawl. I just don't. I never put up those boundaries for my kids. So as a result, they can talk to me about anything. They know they what's important, what's not. They know to wait. They don't come interrupting anything because they know how important they are. They don't have to battle with anybody else. And as a result of knowing how important they are, they understand that it can wait. They have that inner sense of I'm the most important thing in her life. So when she's off the phone, she'll talk to me about it, because that phone call will end. And it's this beautiful fluidity of parenthood, entrepreneurship, when you let it flow together and you don't compartmentalize it, like you said, and I know you do the same thing, but it really is just that. It is not putting one over the other. It is letting it all flow together in synchronicity. And it works. It just works synergistically. It just flows together.

My kids know that I have a lot on my plate. They respect it, but they also know that I am never too busy for them. And that's what my parents did. I knew my parents were never too busy for me. So that's the culture I created. I think that's the culture that more women would Be happy if they kind of knew how to do that. And then there isn't that guilt factor. I know I'm a great mom. I know I've built amazing things. There's no guilt because I haven't, I haven't missed out on anything that's more important than them.

It's so great that you say that, because I wasn't modeled that, but I could see when I first started really excelling in business. I've had other businesses before, but it was different. But when I really started to excel and there was more of a team building, leadership aspect and people needed more of my time, I could sense the uneasiness because they, they felt separate from it. And thankfully, like I had that discernment of knowing. And they were, you know, early teens at the time. And I remember saying to them exactly what you said, like, there is no competition. You do come first. Like, the whole reason I am an entrepreneur is so I can be everything that you need, that wisdom, that guidance, that love that, all of the things that you need to, you know, be guided through life. And you're exactly right. When they know that there isn't the acting out or testing the waters to actually see if they are number one, because they know it and that's why.

They do act out. And you know, I always say that and I see it a mile away with people I know with their kids. And you know, we would all, when we would go into Disney World and the kids were little, literally people would come up to us and go, what? Your kids are so well behaved. I can't believe how well, like not just once, not just twice, it almost got comical after a while. And you know, I would. And when we see kids who do it, I look at my kids, I'm like, you never did it. You never did stuff like that. You just never did it. And again, I think you're right. It's when they don't feel like, I think the worst thing you can do is do this to your kid. As far as, like, and I'm putting my hand up, like, don't come in the room. Because what it's saying to a kid is I don't matter as much as that phone call. And as a parent, your child needs to know that there's that safety now more than ever, that there's that safety blanket of unconditional love, that you are going to be there for them. And that's just how we have done it. And it has paid off beautifully.

And I know there's a lot of Dads that listen to my show, too. And this is equally as important for them, too. In fact, I think I, you know, because I work with a lot of men, you know, I don't shout that out because it's, you know, it's just. That's the nature of that. But they so desperately want to be able to connect like that, too. And they most. You know, our generation, the men weren't taught that.

Right.

They weren't modeled that. And so I'm appreciating the fact that men also are really wanting to have not necessarily the balance, but to really understand that when we do that, like, regardless of the age. Like, those are little kid brains that will process that, like it's. It's their fault. Even if you, like, think you're talking to somebody that should understand this, they just don't. They will automatically assume that they're not good enough or important enough, and they will act out and go seek it somewhere else, y'. All.

That's right.

That being said, you talked about especially now, and my goodness, I mean, parents that had jobs maybe have lost their jobs or they're working from home and now they're homeschooling on top of it. And everybody is feeling overloaded with, whether it's schooling, finances, health crisis, like, all of it all at once. And it's not discriminating anybody.

Yep.

And people are stressed to the max and. And they're feeling guilty and feeling crappy. Physically, emotionally, physically, like, all of it. And they have to show up. They have to show up. What. What are you doing? And what would you say to somebody? Because I know it's just a matter, like, people are white knuckling their way through the days right now.

I know a decade ago I was. And I know what that does to kids and to our businesses. Right. So what would you say about this?

One of my clients the other day, Alison, she said, kathy, I feel like I'm living on the Disney ride Tower of Terror. And I just laughed so hard. I said, oh, my God, the Tower of Terror. Just when you think you're good, it drops down again. This is an absolutely insane time. We know that. And it's an uncertain time. But as I always say, everything's uncertain. We never know what's going to happen. But for some reason, we think that now it's just everything's uncertain when in reality, nothing ever was certain. And so we have to remember that.

The thing that makes me sad is that especially as parents and career women or career men, entrepreneurs, whatever that may look like, we have such an obligation to, you know, make sure that our kids are okay. And so I feel like I'm doing a Broadway number every night because I want to make sure that my kids are okay. And, you know, the older they are, the harder it is because of their social awareness, it's so hard. But when they're little, it's hard, too, because they miss their friends and they need to be around. And that all kind of comes on us as parents. So we've got that without processing our feelings, except when we're alone, because we can't let our kids see the worry, all of those things. So we have to deal with that. But then we also have to deal with our careers. So there's a lot. It's a pinball machine. Right now. We feel like we're in a pinball machine, and we can only do so many things. I think that the strategy for everybody is to. To just enjoy the simplest of things. Right now. When I see you in your pool, Tracy, I'm like, that is the best therapy in the world, to just sit on the back porch or sit outside or just be. And that kind of helps us with being silent and in the moment and processing it. But as a career, you know, this is that time. There's never been a better time for you to just kind of say, well, what the heck? And if I'm going to lose my job, I might as well build something now. So it's that time as well. So you really have the choice to look at this as a gift of time where clarity can happen. Or you can just cower down in the fetal position in the corner, sucking your thumb, going back and forth and saying, I don't know what I'm going to do. And this is humanity right now. This is our hour of gumption and grit and, like I said, just putting on those big girl panties and saying, I'm going for it. And I have talked to more women who had started off with worry. How am I going to get through? How am I going to do this? A lot of gym owners that I know are losing their gyms, and this is that time for gumption to say, this isn't going to get me. Because the human spirit is meant for moments like this. Our bodies are meant to rise up, and we can do it or not. And a lot of times in this day and age, in the digital age, this is the best time because we can literally create something that doesn't exist. And so I'm using this time as clarity. And I hope Your listeners are too, of what do I really want? And what I have in my life, I want more of. I don't like the way my life looks right now. What can I do to make it better? And it's that time and we have it right now to really think about that.

You know, I was thinking back to, gosh, now 12 years ago when the recession happened and I was in a position, I wasn't in the position I am now. And I did go into like what we talked about. Either do I push, push, push or, or do I pack it up and say like, okay, I was made for such a time as this. And you know, I did the whole white knuckling thing and the angry and I saw how that was playing out my kids. And you know, I think that we are prepared for times like these. And now more than ever, we have been given this gift. It's a painful one. Not all gifts feel real warm and fuzzy, like a soft, fuzzy blanket, but this is a gift. And you know, with the older kids, it's real life, like stuff, like real life social stuff and to watch even. Both my kids and both their careers were deeply affected by this. And they both used it as a time to self honor, to really zero in on what they want for their future and what's really important to them. And I understand I've been in the position where I was the sole provider and lost everything and had two kids looking at me. So I know how scary that is. But this is where we teach our kids about life as well.

Yep, exactly.

And I love that you do this. Not just in your home and not just when things are great, but what a great teaching moment for our kids, for humanity, for all of us.

Oh my God, Tracy. Imagine my son, senior year in high school. Imagine doing everything right, studying, getting the AP grades, the honors, the good boys, like everything. He did everything right on paper, worked hard to have the best year of your life ripped away. Not just him, all the seniors, the class of 2020. You know, therapists say that this class is going to be the most, this group of people, kids, class of 2020 in college, class of 2020 in high school, are going to have the most emotional impact from this time. Now we can either look at that as a bad thing, a good thing, whatever, but what we did is we got into servant mode. I sat my kids down and I said, what can we do? Because we have a house, we have this, we have that, we're good, what can we do? And my son said, seems like a lot of people in hospitals. Mom, don't have all the equipment. I said, let's get it to them. So he did some research. My daughter Tori did some research. We found all of these companies. And then actually one of my clients was, we found that she was one of the people who could provide the goggles and all these things. And my son said, wouldn't it be great if we donated it to the hospital that took care of my father? So ironically, when I contacted the hospital, the hospital floor that took care of my dad was now a Covid floor. And they needed equipment and we serviced the entire floor with everything. And then my kids said, what about all the old people? When, you know, they called him Gigi. When Gigi was in the nursing home, you know, we went every day and now people can't visit, so we did cards. And so I'm not saying this like, oh, my kids are so awesome. What I'm saying is they shifted to gratitude and service. And my faith is service for others always. So in these dark times, how can we serve? How can we do better? That was right from the get go of all of the lockdown. And so we've been in that place ever since. And I can tell you it has helped. But you know, still, when you're 16 and 18, that's hard, you know, that's hard to hear because as much in service as you are, you're still missing out. And.

It hasn't been easy, but at least I'm teaching them how to shift to the better because there is no control. So you're right. This is a life lesson for our children. Maybe a little earlier than we thought, but we have that choice of making it the best of it or, or just again, like you said, cowering back. There's just no choice. To me, with the human spirit, you have to muddle through.

And there is a grieving process. Even though we, you know, you and I both are service driven. But that doesn't mean stuff doesn't still hurt. And there is a grieving process and I think where you are so beautiful and I know that this is one of my best parts of parenting is showing the kids like, this is. This hurts and we're going to do something great with it, right?

Yeah. Yeah, you can't. Yeah. I think a lot of people make that mistake and it bothers me because people will say, oh, but you know, it's gonna make them resilient. And I said, don't tell your kid that. Tell your kid that. Yeah, this sucks. You were robbed, you were Robbed of that graduation. You were robbed of your prom. You were robbed of senior week. You were robbed of that. And you know what? You might be robbed of your freshman year going into school. School. You may be robbed. But here's what's going to happen. There are going to be things that come out of this, and it's our job to pick the things. We don't know what they're going to be. But if you were on a lifeboat and that lifeboat was sinking, you've got to figure out a way how to swim. And so. But honoring the way. Honoring the suck, if you will.

Yeah.

You have to. You have to honor it. Otherwise. Otherwise it's all show up again. Yeah. And it's all. It's also disrespectful if you don't honor it because you're just telling your kid to wash over their feelings. No, let them sit in it for a bit.

It's okay 100%. And I think that has, like, that was my early parenting because that's how I was raised. Like, you suck it up, power through.

Yeah.

Wore that as a badge of honor. And I realized one day, looking at my kids, like, I am not teaching them how to feel feelings.

Right.

And we're supposed to feel the wide range of them, and who better to learn from than in our own home rather than other places? And I think the longer this whole weird, crazy, sucky part of what's happening right now goes on, I think that, you know, we're gonna see both ends of the spectrum. Those that just go way down into the pit, and they'll figure that out or they won't. I have no judgment around it. I know you don't either.

Right.

It's a hard place to learn lessons, but some of us, like myself included, have learned in those pits. So I don't judge it. But then there's some that are really sitting in this and saying, this is my time. And I know this is where, like, this is your zone of genius. Not just in everything that you do, but you can see things and help people that. All right, I've done really great here, and I'm not fulfilled. And I know there's a bigger calling on my life. And I also know that the circumstances in the world are a wake up moment, that we only get one life at one life. And I want to do what I'm supposed to be doing, but I don't know how to do it. I'm not sure how to navigate all the things I'm good at into something completely Different. And I know that's what you spend a lot of your days fired up about, other than being the amazing moment and wife that you are.

Thank you. You know what, it's leveraging oneself and ideation because there's a good idea within everybody and a leverage of using the superpowers that maybe got you that big corner office that can kind of the way you did that, you can take parts of that to make the other parts better. Because it's very. You know when people say the way you do anything is the way you do everything, I don't really believe that because there are people who are super successful who can't get their diet together. There are people who have these amazing jobs and they're on their third marriage, like, so I don't like that. And I feel like that's a setup for women too, because it makes you feel like, oh my God, I've got to be good at everything and I've got to do everything right. The women that I've worked with even more recently are women in just high powered patients positions who, like, don't even have time to walk their dog for 10 minutes. So that whole the way you do anything is the way you do everything. It doesn't ring true. And so I spend a lot of time finding what leveraged someone to a certain area of success and finding those little nooks and crannies to help them feel better at home, feel less guilt when they're working late, feel the joy of being with their kids and not worrying about what they going on in the office. It's really leveraging your human spirit and trying to. I hate to use the word balance because it's really not. It's just leveraging the best of you in the certain situations that you're in, but taking what made you a success in anything and bringing it over to the other aspects of your life. And even with our industry, even with network marketing, Tracy, I always tell people when they start, what are you good at? And they're like, oh, well, I'm good at empowering. No, no, that's a bunch of crap. Everybody empowers each other. Please continue. What are you good at? And it could be something like, I make a great salad. And I said, great, you are going to be the salad queen. It has nothing to do with your split, your business is or what you're selling. But I want people to know you as, she's that girl that makes those salads like no one else. So I want you to talk about it. I want you to leverage that for whatever else it is that you're going to do in your life. And so what I do a lot with women, no matter what their career is, is trying to find what they're really, really good at. And again, it's never really where they want to go, but they harness and leverage their true inner given talents to go where they want to be and to be that success story. And it works every time. No matter if you're an entrepreneur or you're a C suite vp, whatever that looks like, it's that it's leveraging our true power of whatever makes us so unique and running with it. Whether it has to do with the final project or not, it doesn't matter.

Oh, my gosh, I love the innocence of that. And I also can picture myself in my big old ego back in the day saying, but, Kathy, don't you know who I am? Don't you know what I've done? And all these things? Because I know there's some women out there that are feeling this rumble inside of them, but their ego is saying, but we know how to rock this. We know how to rock this. This should be good enough. This isn't that bad. And I think that this isn't that bad is robbing people of what they want. So how do you help somebody with an inflated ego like I used to have? And that is kind of intense. Like, me and you, we're both very intense, get past our own selves to say, you know what? I'm gonna do this. Because I know, like, what's the breaking point for most people? Because I know there's a lot of you listening right now that are like, ooh, that sounds really scary. But also like, hallelujah.

Well, quite frankly, you know why you're successful? You are successful. Well, many reasons. But one of the biggest reasons why you're successful is because you lack ego. It's not about you.

Not anymore.

And that. Right. So it's holding the mirror up to someone. And here's what's really interesting, is when your business can only succeed with customers, hence every business, you have to let go of the ego. So if I'm building a business and every single picture, and I mean every single picture is of me, and I'm telling you how much I do, like, I do so many things for clients, the hell is going to believe me? It's all about me. But when. And so this is when your faith and your Mother Teresa red comes out. If it's about you, then what are you doing for Your client, what are you. It's about you. And I will tell you that every single person in my organization that has failed or quit early or said they can't do it, it's been all about them. It's been all about their ego, and it's never been about anyone else, and it's never been about their customers. So this rings true to every single type of industry. So if you are the CEO of your company, or even like a managing director of a big tech firm, if you're not listening to your middle managers, if you're not listening to everybody, then it's going to fail. If it's your way of a highway, it's going to fail. If it's all about you, it's going to fail. If you are the head of a school system without unifying voices and listening to people, it's going to fail. In network marketing, if it's all about you, no one's going to enroll with you. They're going to be like, wow, you're pretty, you're cool. That's awesome. That's great. I'm cheering you on, but I'm not going to invite you. So if you, you have that ego and you don't understand that you're not going to go far unless you actually care about another individual, you're never going to go far. If you look at every single person who's been successful in any industry, there's been a service mode. The ego is there, but they know when to use it. But if you don't harness it for good, because I don't think there's anything wrong with an ego, because. And ego could be called confidence, too. So that confidence could look a little something like. Tracy. Yeah. You want to be on the COVID of magazine, I can make that happen for you. Here's what you're going to do. Number one, two, three. I have so much confidence that I can make you successful. Now, someone else would call that an ego, but it's not. The real translation is, I am going to do everything in my power to make you successful. So a lot of times people use the word ego, and it's really not even their ego. The ego is. It's all about me. That never, never is successful. And until people lose that, until people understand that they're going to go so much further in the service of helping someone else go further, then they're not going to make it or their success will be short term. My father always used to say, you will never be successful until you help someone else find Their success. And that's always worked for me. And I've turned people away and said, get over yourself. I can't help you. You're uncoachable. It's your way or no way. I'm not negotiating with you. Get over yourself. So I think that ego is probably the biggest stumbling block. And you said that you used to have one. And maybe you just understood that your superpowers are far better served standing behind someone and lifting them up. And that's how you always been. You've always been the person to. You're the. You're the wizard behind the curtain. You're not interested in the spotlight. You're like me. I'd rather see someone that I've helped be on stage than me. And that's why you have succeeded for the long haul. Not because of one thing you did. It's because you are totally okay with being the keynote, but you're equally okay with watching someone that you have mentored be the keynote. And that's when you have harnessed your ego for good.

Well, and I think like the ego that I used to have, it was about me, but it was coming from a protective place. Like, because I was so afraid of being betrayed or hurt based on, you know, my history. I always did have like that justice seeker, truth telling kind of energy because that's who I am. But it got so clouded sometimes by this, like, bulletproof wall. If I do say of like, okay, but I don't want to get hurt. And so once I did harness exactly that and say, I don't have to protect myself all the time, I'm going to be okay, and used it for something good. That's when all the shift happened. And.

But you know what, Tracy? You did something even more so. You went from protection, which makes total sense given your background, to boundaries. So there's a difference. Everyone should have boundaries.

So now.

And that's where women need to find their sweet spot. Like, it's okay if you have trauma or betrayal or anything like that in your life from your past, you're going to have walls. Absolutely. And you should. But those walls may hurt you from an opportunity or a relationship that might come that would be in your best interest. And so what you have done so brilliantly is you've created, you've taken a wall and made it a boundary so you're respectful of your time. And that's a completely. That's like the upside of having a wall, because you can't just let it down. No, no.

In fact, I had A coach tell me this metaphor. It was so beautiful. And it really, you know, because I've been an all or nothing kind of girl because even when I, like, came into network marketing, I was like, I'm gonna help everyone. And I found my energy being depleted. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, there's a, there's a beautiful middle ground here. And one of the coaches I have had, she said, you've taken down the wall, but you've put in a sliding glass door. You can see everything. And then as you feel like, okay, I can kind of venture in, then you open it up and now there's a screen door so you can filter in and discern a little bit easier. And that's where the boundaries come in.

I love that. Isn't that a great analogy? Yeah, it's so true.

If you have the walls up, you can't see all the beauty that's ahead of you.

That's right.

Really, really can't. So standing on that front line, but with healthy boundaries is like the sweet spot. So I know that there are a lot of people, women specifically, that are like, okay, I need some of that tough love and enneagram 8 Kathy Savage, Mama Savage energy that she's got going on. And you guys, there is nobody that I respect more when it comes to teaching women real life how to build an integrity filled business, how to balance, or should I say build harmony within the ebbs and flows of motherhood and entrepreneurship and being a wife and somebody who is, you know, of service outside of their businesses too, and doing good things in the world. There's nobody I trust and respect more than Kathy Savage. So I know there's going to be people that want to find you and learn from you and even though they may be like, really afraid because like you said, you're like, you're not ready. Drop the ego. Totally. The healthiest enneagram8 I've ever met in my life is Cathy Savage. So those are who you want to be coached by. So how do they find you and what can they expect by working with you?

You're so cute. Thank you. You know what I always say there's a lot of tough love, but there's more love than tough.

You want someone like you or me in the lifeboat of your life? Because I will figure out a way to help anyone who's willing and open to have their life cracked open. And I know you're the same exact way.

You know, kathysavage.com is my website and.

Instagram kathysavageofficial but when, you know, I think that the common misconception is that this is a race with people. I want to be healthy in four weeks, can you get me to look like so and so? What can you do for me? I don't make promises I don't. Or I'll say, I'm not your girl. I've said that so many times to people. I'm not your girl. I'm not going to be able to get you where you think you are. I turn down more than I accept for that reason, because I want people to be successful as someone in athletics and sports. And, you know, this is. It's a win or a loss for me, and I want people to win. And it's just not okay to be like, well, they tried or, well, I want people to win. And I have. I take all of that athletic style coaching the gold standard with me when I take someone from being really quiet and scared and concerned to an empowered, strong women of position who can ask for what they want and be confident.

In all areas of their life. So it's just when you're ready and you're open, because I don't negotiate. I don't. I've been doing this, been there, done there, been there, done that, burned the T shirt, seen the T shirt, won the T shirt. There's nothing I haven't seen. So I kind of know where to get, take someone and where they should go. And the best of the best, the best people that I ever worked with who are doing so miraculously well right now, friends of ours that we know, they were so coachable during the process, and they allow, and they loved me enough to say, she's going to get me there. But when you start negotiating with me, I'm done. I'm done. I lose interest. I lose interest. Don't question. I know how to get you there. So it's that I'm not going to be the cheerleader, but I'm going to. Going to be the professional coach that brings you to the finish line with a win.

Oh, my gosh. I love you beyond words.

I love you, too. You're amazing.

I just like, when I am, you know, I trust my discernment and God and my intuition, and I always back that up with, like, okay, what would Kathy Savage do right now?

Oh, geez.

Like, seriously, like, I respect you, everything you do and, you know, all the business accolades aside and all of that, you know, three, gosh. Now, three and a half years ago, when I was really, really sick, your daughter Tori.

This is the kind of people that she not only helps, but raises. Like, her daughter Tori made this gorgeous, beautiful, like, book bag, and it had butterflies all over it. And it happened to match my office that I'm looking at right now. And just a lovely note. And I heard you weren't feeling well, and, like, it was such a dark time for me. And just that. Love that. And she was, what, like, 13 at the time? She's 16 now. Sixteen and a half.

Right.

Like, this is the caliber of humans that she raises and that she will coach. Like, this is who she is. Like, that is what. Like, I will never forget that.

Oh, she. Well, that's her.

I know.

Well, you were someone that she kind of your light. I will say this about. Tori is. Tori is. Has such a meter. She's got a vibe guide. I always say. She knows. She knows the good ones. She really does. And she saw you on stage. She saw you. We were talking about something, and she heard that you weren't feeling good. It was one of those. And she said, mom, can I make. Can I make her a bag? It was that. But that was because she felt something in you just from your. And you weren't even aware that she was observing you. And that's what's so cool.

And you know what's funny about that? And I think it's really cool because I know the intent behind it. Because of all the love languages. In fact, gifts are my least favorite. They make me very uncomfortable. Quite honest. They do. I don't like receiving gifts. That is, hands down, one of the top three gifts I've ever received in my life. Because of the heart and just the. Because I knew she was watching. Like, that. Somebody doesn't do that because Mama Savage said so.

Oh, no, no.

That is something that, like, I. And it made me so aware of the ripple effect of the work that we do, not only in our own homes, but every single place we go. And you are the epitome of that. And so thank you so much for just, like, thank you being that in my life always. You're always at that compass that I look to. Even though we don't talk all the time or we don't see each other, like, I always kind of use my Kathy Savage compass to really navigate some of the harder things and the harder conversations and all the things. So thank you so much for all you bring.

You are the same for me. You're just a beautiful ray of light. Literally, you've got a ray of light around you. Really. I'm all into energy. And I see that with you and it's getting brighter and brighter. Trace.

The work you're doing is so important. So I appreciate you.

You guys, I know that this episode is like tugging at your heartstrings and you got two Enneagram eights coming in hot at you that are, you know, we're very intense but like so freaking loving. And we are. We're not cheerleaders by any means, but we are the ones that see the greatness in you. And you need to find some Kathy Savage in your life. And if you love this episode, please tag us. Let us know what you loved about it. And even if you didn't like us very much, we're okay with that too. We kind of like hearing that. We kind of feel bad sometimes.

Let us know what you felt about this. And until then, here's to becoming Bulletproof. I love you, Kathy.

Love you.

Thank you for tuning in into the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram at traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceeomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become bulletproof.

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