91: Growing and Reinvention with Rebecca Cafiero (Enneagram 7)

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I am a mom to millennials and author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business in life. If you are looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you'll disc. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up. Let's go.

Hello and welcome to a new another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And I have the pleasure of bringing you one of my dear, dear friends that I met. Gosh, it's like six years ago I think now, which is crazy. And when I met this girl. My God. All right, y' all know I'm an enneagram8. This girl is not. But she has the fire. She has a little bit of eight energy, but that's because she's an Enneagram seven. And she, when I met her, this energy, she reminded me a lot of my daughter. And that's probably why I loved her so much when I first met her. You guys have heard me talk about the enneagram 7. There is no stupid idea. There is nothing that is impossible in their minds. Everything is a possibility. And this girl has proven that. Not just since I've met her, but before that, since then. Every time I see her doing something, it is big and beautiful, innovative, and exactly what the world needs. Rebecca Caffiero is a marketing and PR strategist. She's spoken TEDx, which is amazing. You're gonna feel her energy oozing out of the ear pods or whatever you're listening to this from. She's got a podcast, she's a best selling author and she has the most beautiful children and cute cutie pie husband who's like what, 10ft tall? How tall is he? Like 6, 10?

6 foot 8? He's shrinking.

Is he shrinking? But before she became an entrepreneur, she was an award winning journalist. She spent a decade in corporate America leading sales and marketing team. She's a speaker on personal branding. And I've seen her rebrand herself quite a bit in the last six years that I've known her. And there's nothing wrong with that. Sevens are the best at that, by the way, they can, like, rebrand in, like, 5.2 seconds. And the next thing you know, they have this next empire that they're building. And she is that. And what I love about her is not only is she doing this for herself, but now she is. She's teaching other entrepreneurs how to do this for themselves and to feel empowered as they do it, giving themselves permission to do this. Because just because you're a mama doesn't mean that, like, that's all you are. It's the most important job. We all know that. But we can be so much more. And her podcast is called Becoming you. And as I've watched her evolve into this amazing woman every day, like, there's. There's new growth in her every day, it's. It's even more beautiful to see the ripple effect of her own personal work shining its light and love onto thousands and thousands and thousands of other people. So you guys are in for a treat. If you are building a business or in business, and maybe you know that you have a gift and a calling, but you're afraid to talk about it or you're not sure how to talk about it, or you're afraid to ask for money for it or whatever any of that looks like for you. This is the girl that will, like, break it all down for you and me. Like, I need this lesson pretty quickly, too. Rebecca. Hello.

Hello.

You just gave me a verbal hug. And words of affirmation are my love language.

I know it's a big thing for the Sevens. I know this, and you deserve that because. And I want to kind of start here because, you know, I know that enneagram7 very, very well. And a big chunk of their life early on, they have been probably told they're a little too much or they need to focus or, like, stop being so flaky and scattered and you're all over the place. And I know because I've been in your energy before, where that's probably something that has been said to you quite a bit. And, like, especially when an enneagram 7 is seen, heard, and understood, and that's why words of affirmation are so important to a seven, because when you are seen for who you are and your gifts and that, it's not caged, right, that's the last thing we want to do to your beautiful energy and your beautiful, innovative spirit is to let it run amok. And so how did Rebecca, I'm sure, was told all these things break free from that and say, you know what? Like, no, this is what I'm gonna do. Whether it was in corporate America and beyond. Whatever.

Well, first I just have to say your daughter is one very, very lucky young woman. Because to have, have these parts of herself be so well understood is such a gift. And I hope to be able to do that for my daughter someday. Well, yes. Growing up, I feel like I had a name tag that just said T O O and then followed by whatever adjective somebody wanted to label me with at the moment. So I was too loud, too intense, talked too fast, too much, too passionate, too busy. It was all the twos. And it was always a negative. I look back and I read too much, but there was always this negative connotation to my too muchness. And.

It was painful. It's painful especially because nowadays I look back, I'm like, following your passion is what we want people to do. When I followed my passion as a kid and followed my joy, it was a source of contention, it was a source of conflict. You know, even teachers, even people that were well meaning. I remember a teacher that I really liked, but I was in debate class and she said I was, you know, the champion of the Lincoln Douglas debate. And it was, I'm too much and I'm a pushy broad. And I was 15 years old. Wow, that label. And I don't look back at that in a negative way.

No, I know I was proud.

I was probably too proud.

But I definitely feel like I always learned that if I follow what I love, there's going to be pain attached. And so I had to have that decision, that balancing act of do I follow the two right to, you know, where I'm meant to be? Or do I dim myself? Do I silence myself? Do I quiet myself to fill this other role? And for a long time I felt like there was so much conflict around following my joy that for many years I tried to do it. I tried to dim down, I tried to play by other people's rules. And it led me to a point at, well, getting kicked out of the house at 17, 18, but a point at 25 where I sat in front of my first life coach that I hired and she asked me what my goals were. And I proceeded to tell her, you know, what looked really, really good on paper. So this is what I'm doing. This is my 10 year goal to be CEO of this Fortune 500 company. And at the end she said, that sounds great. Now what do you really want? I completely burst into tears. And that was the first time I think somebody actually, as an Adult asked me, what do you really want? And gave me permission to speak my truth.

Wow. I love that you had the wisdom enough to find somebody that could guide you in that way, because I see a lot of enneagram sevens are in the two fill in the blank category. And I saw that in my own daughter. And I was looking at her like, I don't know what the hell to do with that, but I know I don't want to put it in a box because it's so damn beautiful. And I love that you had somebody at the age of 25 say that to you. And did you burst into tears because you knew exactly what you wanted or that nobody had ever asked you, or you didn't even know because you've just fit into all these other boxes that everybody else wanted you to be in?

I think I burst into tears because I felt recognized. But I also realized in that moment that fitting into those other people's boxes was a recipe for unhappiness. You know, And I say now, and I firmly believe it, that trying to make other people happy is never going to make you happy. So you might as well do what you can to like, follow your joy and hope that other people are inspired by what you create along the way.

And you know, that's easier said than done, right? It is easier. Especially when it's family and our, where we came from and everything that we've ever known, even though we don't love it like Dorothy said it best, there's no place like home. And like, even though, if it, even if it was a shit show, we still kind of, we go back there because it's what we do know and it's, there's no surprises there, even though it's not what we want. And so how do you make the decision? Like you're heard, you have these big crazy, beautiful Ideas that only a 7 can really come up with, which is your gift. And how do you then begin to start executing that? Because you and I both know what that does. Like the feathers get ruffled, people get their panties in a wad, they start talking shit about you, even maybe and throwing a bunch of shade at you. So as a 25 year old, how do you navigate that? And do you take like three steps forward, four back? What does that look like for you? Because there's so many listening right now that this is the very fucking thing that is holding them back.

Right? One of the things that I've now realized is the biggest gifts that my parents gave me is when I realized at a very young age that I was never going to be able to please them. And I think that there's a part of me, obviously that wanted to. There's a part of me that was a pleaser and it was impossible. And then also, and I, you know, I love my parents and I feel like you and I have very, very similar understandings of our parents, that we love them and then we know that they many times did the best that they could, but they were not equipped already, especially to raise someone was a little bit complex. So because I had given up, but because I was resolved in the fact that making my parents happy was just not something that was going to happen and that what I needed to strive for was a relationship without conflict, which means I had to not give it power.

I think I was looking more for validation outside of my parents. And so being that corporate job, sitting down with that life coach, I was looking for all this validation from outside people telling me that I was great and I was great, but I wasn't great at things that made me feel great. And I couldn't keep living my life two dimensionally on a resume because that's not the real world. So when that life coach told me that and I broke down and cried. What the plan was next was it sounds like something a fifth grader should do, but it worked, was I created a joy binder. I literally went through and this is before Pinterest, it would have been Pinterest these days, but I went through and I said, like, what are the things that makes me joyous? And here I was in a sales job, very, very corporate. And I went and I started a photography class, I joined a theater program, I started taking circus school. Literally I was in, I was in Las Vegas. So there was.

Of course you did.

I was not great at that. You know, I, I started leaning into all these things that first of all, I didn't have to be good at. And I think that's the hard thing is when you're naturally good at things, which I think on most entrepreneurs are, there's, I'm good at it, so I should do it. And something that I learned, unfortunately just in the last year, which is this like the three circles they imagine, like the Olympic circles. But is the, what are you good at? What do you love and what can you make a lot of money at? And I was taught what are you good at and what can you make money at? And that's what you follow is growing up below.

Sure.

You know, lower income, having that security was really important. And I didn't realize that I could do. What I love, the other part of enneagram7 is they can love a lot of things. Mm. Oh, yeah.

Like 500 different things all at the same time.

Same time. So even though I had that. That kind of epiphany moment at that time, and I started following my joy, I started to infuse joy in my life, which is very different than building your life around joy, because I was happier, but I still wasn't doing the thing that was going to make me happy in the long run. And it took me to nine more years before I became an entrepreneur and decided to pursue joy professionally and full time.

Well, and I think that, like, especially growing up the way that you and I did, and knowing that we need to disconnect so that need to have success isn't, like, typical to, like, the Enneagram Threes, where their whole identity is wrapped up in achievement for you and for me, like, for an enneagram7, this need to achieve is coming from a place where I don't want to feel the pain of relying on somebody or disappointing somebody. So I'm going to try all these different things. And that's kind of why it's the motive behind what a seven does. Like, where an eight is like, I never want to rely on another person the rest of my life. And so, like, we can all kind of look very similar and high achieving, but the motive is so different. And I love that you are actually doing things now that encompass you're really freaking good at it. You are making a shit ton of money at it. And, like, it is so obvious right now, like, that you have found joy in what you're doing as well. And it's not for XYZ to say, you're great. It's not for this person to say, oh, yay for you. Like, you can tell you are not seeking any kind of outside approval other than what is, like, your calling. So how did you come to that? How did you come to that in the last year?

Well, I say. People say, how long did it take you to create this? I said, oh, like, 40 years, maybe six years. I'm not sure of the answer. You know, I look back and I remember I got a astrology book when I was 18, and it says, like, what would you be good at? And I read it at 18, and I went, that doesn't sound like me. I read it about a year ago and I went, oh, my goodness. It says, like, you'd be great in real estate. And sales and marketing and writing. But I had always loved to write. I'd always loved words. I loved reading. And I got my degree in journalism and worked at a daily paper. And I loved. I love the pressure of it. It was so fun. But it also was a recipe for living below poverty level. And again, growing up with less than I. Security was important to me. And it wasn't to have, you know, the nicest things always, but it was more, like you said, it was freedom. It was not having to rely on someone. It was the freedom to choose what I wanted. Because at an early age, money was used as leverage, and I never wanted someone to use money as leverage against me. So I got into writing, and then I went into sales and marketing, which was a purely financial decision. But I realized that, you know, if you really believe in what you're selling, you're not selling. You're a consultant. You are helping someone make a great decision. And first of all, if someone's out there and they're selling something, please make sure you believe in it. Because selling something you don't believe in is a slow, painful death. It is to stopping belief in yourself and every. You know, and the goodness of humanity.

Or you end up drinking yourself into a hole.

Yes, yes, yes. I'm selling home. You know, so there's an emotional factor there. But. But then, you know, I ended up being a VP of sales and marketing. And I loved the transformation process of taking a piece of raw dirt, you know, creating a story behind it, creating products, creating a target market. But when I realized how much more exciting it was to do the same thing with actual people, you don't have to create a story around people. They have stories. You just have to pull the story out and tell it. And so I started doing that, you know, five or six years ago when I went from corporate to being an entrepreneur, I said, oh, my gosh. I just left my. You know, like. Like you. I left the. I left the salary, I left the title. I left the office. I left all this credibility that looks really good on LinkedIn or on a company resume, but no one outside of that knew who I was.

The pretty shoes that killed our feet.

Oh, my gosh. I had so many pairs of the pretty shoes that I. Now I'm. I'm wearing Converse right now.

I'm barefoot. So.

Even better. Even better. Well, those pretty shoes killed my arches and I have to wear shoes.

Exactly.

But, yeah, so I. You know, when I went into entrepreneurship, I had a little bit of the imposter syndrome of I just left all of my confidence. But I didn't really. It was. How do I leverage. And how do I transfer all this experience, this credibility, this creativity, all of these things into this new role of this, you know, let's just call it the coaching world, right? Call it that big. That big world of coaching, right? And I had to realize, like, where do my talents lie that I can. That I can bring over to this new arena? And in doing that for myself, in learning to brand myself, in wanting to build credibility for myself and realizing, well, how do you build credibility quickly? And when I say build credibility, I don't mean a smokescreen. I don't mean, you know, smoke and mirrors of, like, saying that you are something or not. I mean, how do you really dig in and define your value, the transformation you give whatever your clients or your consumers are. And how do you. How do you leverage that to create visibility?

I think that's where a lot of people struggle so much because they feel like a fraud. And I think that's why. Imposter syndrome, because they know. And here's the spoiler alert, y'.

All.

We're never done. And so you don't have to arrive somewhere to be credible, to show somebody the way, because there is somebody that is about 10 steps behind you that needs your guidance in real time and so fresh in your mind. So I love that you're saying that.

And that you have also stepped into that. I know. I did, too. I was like, I constantly have to battle the. Who the fuck do I think I am? Like, today even, you know, And I've been at this a long time, but, like, so how do you kind of. Because I don't think we need to just stuff that feeling, because that creates a disaster of its own if we stuff that. Like, to, like, really work through that and. And be present enough with ourself to know exactly where we're supposed to be going. Because for the last five, six years, you've been kind of, like, trying to figure that out, too. Like, you knew you were an entrepreneur. I knew you were an entrepreneur the second I met you. My God. Like, you ooze it. But because you have all these things that you. I mean, you could teach circus school, for crying out.

What not to do in circus, Right?

So how did you start to, like, zone in on your sweet spot and now show others exactly the formula for that?

The first thing it starts with. And I love that question, because there is a formula and there are steps, and they don't always go in this order. But I'll give you the order that makes sense to me, and it makes sense to most of the people I work with. The very first thing, and this is especially for women, is permission to promote yourself. And so many people, even if they do believe in themselves, like where imposter syndrome comes, is feeling out of alignment, talking about your business. And a great friend of mine, Carrie, she summed this up, and I use this all the time, that we are a human being that is breathing life into our business. I like to say we are our brand. Our brand is who we are. Our business is what we do. And so when we can separate ourselves from this thing that we do and understand that if we treat our business like a child, you know, and you talked about motherhood. You met me before motherhood. I mean, talk about the ultimate evolution. Motherhood is a catalyst for evolution. In many ways it is. But if we understand that our business, whatever that business is, and maybe for some people listening, that business is a hobby that they want to grow into a business. But if we treat that like a child, what would you do for your child to make sure they had everything that they needed to be successful? Think about right now with all these kids, you know, doing online schooling. You would advocate to the teacher. You would do whatever you needed to get them the supplies that they needed. You would not stop at anything to promote their interest. And promoting. The definition is to. To progress something or to further it. So what would you need to do to further or to progress your child's education? So now flip that over to business, and what do we need to do to progress that business? That is not us. Because if we really believe in the value that we have and the value that we have to help others, then our ability to impact and our kind of our why is all about giving our business the opportunity to grow. And so that is the first thing is understanding that that's a mindset. And for many of us, well, first of all, it's a permission slip. So I just want to let you know right now, like, I will give you a permission slip. You sign it. This is the permission slip to promote your business, to promote that value.

And your business is actually one of your own children.

It is.

It is. It is my. I have two extra children in my businesses. Like I have the two that I birthed. I have my inner child that I have to parent to. And now I have two businesses that are children, too. And you're exactly right. Like, I would get. I would do anything.

To help them grow in a healthy Way. Right. Without, like, the unhealthy stuff. I would do anything for them to grow in a healthy way, and that includes my businesses as well. So I love that. So when you. You have people in front of you and they get that, in theory, like, that makes so much sense up here in the cognitive brain. But then our heart goes to work with, like, yeah, but all the yeah buts come up. So how do you help them with the yeah, buts that come up?

The easy answer that's not easy is like, how do we improve our mindset? And that's a muscle. But there's so many different things we can do, right? Affirmations, alarms, like journaling. There's so many things. But the quick fix is what is our alter ego. And I work with a lot of speakers, and they usually have an alter ego when they step on stage. They name her, they embody her. It's a set of qualities that maybe makes them feel really uncomfortable. And we all do it. We all have a telephone voice, maybe a podcast voice. Right?

The restaurant hostess voice. Hi.

Exactly.

Yeah. Right.

You're, like, in the middle of, like, you know, arguing with someone else, and it's like, hi, this is Rebecca. So we've got that alter ego already, but it's really about calling her out and then also summoning her when we need to. So when we're showing up on Instagram or wherever, and this does not mean being out of alignment with ourselves, please understand, it's not about faking it. It's about embodying that version of ourselves. And maybe that is our future version. And then the other side of all of this, though, is, is there's so much noise out there and there's so many people. You know, whether it's in the coaching space or even branding, I don't even like to use the word branding, because branding means anything and everything. It can be from, like, canva templates to, like, transformation statements. So getting really clear. And yes, it's a bad word that people don't like to use. It's niching. People want to talk to everyone and they're talking to no one. And so one thing I would just say, like, if you're out there creating content or you're creating a program or whatever you're doing, find one person that you love, maybe it's a favorite client, and talk to one person, because that certainty of what you're giving them, of the value of how you're impacting them, that is going to be communicated to so many more people than if you're just trying to do like a motivation Monday. So when you start to niche down into what I call your unique expert experience, and that is, that's this mix of where your education, your experience, your background and your passions or interests where those mix. Because nobody has that exact experience recipe, right? Nobody has the exact experience. But what you don't need there is you don't need decades in what you're doing. You don't need a bunch of degrees. You don't need another certification. You do need to have some belief and that will grow. You need to have an understanding of like, do you have a process? A lot of people don't understand that they need a signature process, and they probably indately have a process, or at least they've. They've gone through a process.

But having a system that embodies that experience, that education, that background, those passions, that starts to be the roadmap to getting out of imposter syndrome.

Oh, my gosh. I could feel like heat flying off my body as you were saying, systems and process and shit. Because I'm such an instinctive person and an intuitive person, that that has been my hang up, quite honestly. And that is why, like, the Enneagram has become the thing for me. Because I've always used it as the beginning part of the process. And it's like, duh, stupid. Like, hello, use the very thing that you started with and, you know, do that. But for those like that are more like me. Like, there are people like you that love process and systems and coming up with all that shit and content creation. Like, I'm breaking out into hives just thinking about that, like, that makes me want to puke. So for somebody like me, like, what do you tell them? Like, suck it up and get over it, because then I want to throw punch, know you.

No, I think there's. You've got to look at. Well, so one is, I don't believe that there's one way to get to it. And so even with a system, it might be like, here's the five elements that I typically go through when I'm working with someone, right? And so you've got that for your Enneagram clients that you have certain steps. Now you might get into it because, you know, I've been one of your clients and I loved it. I just walked. I rewatched our video the other day, and I was like, this is so good. And it was so funny because in the beginning you're like, you would be good at pr. This, this, and this. Because that call was a year ago.

Right.

But I think understanding the elements, and I tell people this when my clients, I do one on one strategy calls with which is a very small group. But I say I want you to just trust in this process. It does not need to make sense to you. And understand we may be 45 minutes in before the light bulb turns on. And that's okay because you just have to understand that that's just like the fifth element dropping in or the fourth element or whatever point it starts to make sense. So I do believe it's really important. But let's just use a health coach or a personal trainer for an example. Right. If you asked a personal trainer or a health coach what is important to being healthy, they are probably all going to give you some version of what you eat. So food, movement, rest, maybe supplementation, like those are probably going to all four be in there. I would be surprised to find someone that didn't talk about maybe hydration, but it's going to be some variation of that. But there's a difference between doing that and going through exactly their steps based upon, guess what, their education, their experience, their passions, their background. So a health coach that has dealt with cancer, who's all about inflammation is going to have a different process than someone who maybe cured an unhealthy gut. And so their inflammation is not coming from disease. It might be coming from, let's cure bloating and this and this. They're coming from different angles even if their elements seem the same. And that's where the differentiation is, is you could have someone with the exact same elements, even in the same order, but because of the way that they speak about it and the stories that they tell and the testimonials that they give, it's going to appear to be completely, completely different.

I love that you just said that because you can even use me as an example. Like they're like everybody and their mother is now like learning about the enneagram and talking about it and where. Why I am able to stand out in this space in a way that nobody else can be is because of my experience and expertise in not just talking and learning about it, but I've actually used it to parent and change the tone of my home in leadership in business development. And I don't just teach it, I actually implement the process in that. And I love that you just said that. Like, it's one thing to be knowledgeable, but then the way that it takes on a new life is based on those things. And I love that you. This is a gift of a seven, for sure. You can see all of that. Like, you see all the big things around these people. And so you are the very person that can actually. Actually guide people to that.

I see people as their future self, and I don't see their. I don't see the excuses or the shortcomings. And sometimes that's uncomfortable for people. A lot of the women in my mastermind, they're like, so. Rebecca not so gently pushed me. Rebecca slightly bullied me. And I'm like, listen, I give it straight, but I give it with love. Because I don't see a disconnect between where you are and where you want to be.

Well, and quite honestly, I remember a time in your life where that was kind of done to you too.

I remember, like, seeing so much in you beyond what you were already doing when I met you. Like, that was just, like, a lily pad for, like, huge things. And it is uncomfortable to, like, think of the possibilities sometimes, because we always know there's. It's like, what got us here won't get us there, and it's gonna require something more from us, different from us. And it is always awkward to feel like you suck at something in the beginning, but we all do. We didn't come out of the vagina knowing how to do all this shit. None of us.

I mean, my. My little one, Luca, who's four and a half, and he has BMX tonight, thank goodness. Air quality got decent enough. But he is. He is a complete 7:2. He also is a, you know, a monkey. He's all the same things, like, we're twin souls, and he is very used to doing things and being pretty darn good. And so we took him to BMX for the first night ever because he loves riding a bike. And here he's like 4 and a half years old. BMX racing, it's. It's. It's hilarious to see. But his first night, he qualified for the main event, and then he got third place and trophy. And then his second time, he didn't place, and he cried. But I won a trophy. I won trophy. And that's why I've had to really instill in him that there's, like, there's no such thing as failure. It's only feedback, but also that, like, you're always learning. And so I'm like, what did we learn from this? Or, like, what. You know, this happened. But what. What was a good thing? Well, we learned, Mom. We learned, you know, and so he's focused on Learning because it has to happen. And the quicker that we can embrace it and stop fighting it, the faster we get to the other side.

And I think the more we're willing to step into the fear part of it. Like, I know, like, even though it sucks, like having some failure, it sucks falling on your ass, it sucks. Like, feeling, like, awkward on the other side of it. Like, I know this. There's always something beautiful, a growth, like confidence. That's where the muscle gets built, y'. All. Like, the muscle doesn't get built in the learning. The muscle gets built in the actually taking action in it. And so I love that you are guiding people through that. So this last year, you know, you have been through. You've now had two babies. You've had some health crisises in your home. We've got Covid.

Rebecca kind of got quiet for a little while birthing this baby to really, really step into this. So, you know, as you're facing adversity and life is continuously happening and the lessons come and the pivoting happens, like, how are you navigating that and how has that turned into what you're doing today?

Well, one, it was taking my own advice, I think so often it's easy to declaring for other people, but not fallen herself. And I tell people that, you know, the three things that I feel, this is very simple, but is the key to happiness is number one, following your joy.

Right.

Like, what's lighting up, what excites you? Number two, being resourceful. And then number three is asking for what you want. And.

I was working two businesses going into the end of last year, and both of them made a lot of sense, but I didn't love either of them.

And that was really hard because sometimes it's hard to step away from the coulds and the shoulders into the things that we're called to do that are actually going to be much more difficult but with much greater payoff. And I don't just mean financial payoff, but, you know, soul payoff.

Yeah.

And so in January, I had came back from doing an event with a business partner who I adore, and she's one of my dearest friends. But it was just feeling really hard. And I think that I want to show the difference between hard as far as we're going to learn something new and we're going to fail forward hard. And the hardest of. I just feel like I'm, like, hitting my head against the wall, and I keep doing it over and over, and I don't know, like, when. When it's gonna stop. And so that's where I was at. And so I had, I had some clarity that I was ready to really niche down and I was ready to really follow, like these very specific things that I was doing. And I was a little afraid that, like, is this too specific? Is this too specific? Is, are people gonna want this? Because it was, I mean, really, what evolved into the Pitch Club started out of two different keynotes that I was giving at female entrepreneur associations and cowork spaces and doing like on a lot of zoom masterminds. And I said, can I build a business out of this? And. And then I went to my own. I had the Mastermind retreat that I went to and we had to do this vision exercise where we had to pitch where we were a year from now. And you know, I went up in front of the room and I pitched it and I believed my pitch.

And I think that was part of it is we have to believe in our vision. We have to plant that seed. We have to have those sparks and then fan them. But it was around this idea. I said, I'm going to have a business called the Pitch Club. I'm going to end the year doing $100,000 a month. It's going to be a seven figure business in a year. And you know, I think money makes people uncomfortable. But it wasn't just about like hitting numbers. It was about, I'm going to deliver such value and I'm going to be so, so specific. And what I realized is I was creating something that everyone needed, but that I couldn't find anyone offering.

Until, of course, the day I launched something. And then I was like, wait, somebody else is doing something just like this? But it wasn't because it's like, you know, there's other people out there doing the Enneagram. But I think about you, and I think about you as the Enneagram leadership grower, cultivator, curator, where there's people that are doing Enneagram, like, how do you do social media content for Enneagram or this filter for Enneagram or this, you know, But I look at you as like, how to build a business and grow leaders, using this as a way to understand people and communicate with them 100%. So this idea came up and I started to work on it in early, well, late February, early March. And I said, what am I going to need to do to have success? I said, one is put my money where my mouth is. I'm a big believer in investing. And so I knew that if I had to figure this out on my own. If I had to not figure out my value, but figure out how to, like, how do I create a course, how do I launch a webinar? All of these things that are not my zones of genius, that it could take me five years. And I knew that these gifts deserve to get out to people faster than that. So I hired a company, and I invested a lot of money in myself. It's so funny when I hear people like, 2000, 3000, I was like, thousand dollars investment for the year. And that got me playing at that level of, like, this can't pay off with 50,000. It's got to pay off with a lot more to make it make sense, right?

Oh, yeah. Shit gets real uncomfortable when you're paying.

$1,000 a week and then you actually have to still do a lot of the work. Yes. When I invested, in the end, that was. I think that first call I had with them was on a Wednesday, and Covid shut down, like, literally the next day. I pulled my kids out of school because it was about a week before the mandatory shutdowns happened. And I took advantage of that time. I think Covid was a gift to. Or it was whatever people made of it. I mean, oh, it's the best gift ever.

But all of a sudden, people got really quiet because they were just reassimilating into life and, like, in survival mode. And I used that opportunity to get really quiet and go within and get to work. And I said, I have three goals coming out of this. Number one is launching this program and getting complete clarity on where I'm going. Number two is I finished my book, but I needed to launch it. And number three was rebranding myself, because here I am with a product that I'm working on that no one knows about.

Right?

And that was. That was middle of March, and I basically launched everything end of July. And so it's crazy because that was seven weeks ago. And in the website, the book and the Mastermind, which is the first of the three products that are part of.

The pitch club, I love that. And I love the fact that, like, because you are.

It's not that long ago, but, like, the last. Like you said, 40 years, has been preparing you for the last six months of what you've actually been doing. It's not like you woke up in March or February, and it's like, you know what? This is a great idea. Like, the last 40 years, all those dots got connected to bring you right here to the pitch club and to Bring it, to birth it, to bring it to life, and now to, you know, know the way, go the way, show the way. I love that. Yes. And now you are showing the way. And I know there's a lot of you listening right now that you're hearing her and you're like, yes, this is exactly who and what I need. So how can people learn from you.

Be guided by you, listening to you, obviously, on the podcast. The becoming you podcast is a great resource. She's a great interviewer, by the way. But I know that people really need this information and not at, like, the Google level.

Yes. So the first thing is this is really for people that are business owners. But understanding that the difference between a hobby and a business can. That bridge can be crossed very quickly when you have clarity.

Totally.

And I like to call it the expert triangle, because isn't that what we all want? Right. We don't just want to have a business. We want to be seen as an expert. We want our value to not be questioned. We want people to know our value, and so we don't end up, you know, if you're a coach, you don't end up on sales calls. You end up on fitting calls. You want to have your value communicated with that.

I love that.

No, no, no. Sales like fitting calls.

I love that.

Fitting calls.

Because it is.

It's true. It's not about who will pay me money to do this service. It's like, who is the right fit to receive the gifts.

Totally.

I love that. That I can give. And so in understanding that, I call it the expertise, the expert triangle. And the sides are credibility and visibility. And the bottom is profitability. And if you have visibility. So let's say an Instagram influencer. Because I'm all I love. Yes, influence is important, but impact is more important. So set your goal on being an impactor versus an influencer. But you can have great visibility and have a huge following. And maybe you entertain, because what is social supposed to do? Educate. Entertain or educate entertain. Or what's the third? Educate Entertainer. I don't remember right now, but that's okay.

But it'll come to you in the middle of the night.

Exactly.

But if you're someone that's out there entertaining, you could have a large audience. Like, let's say, like the fat Jewish guy on Hilarious. Right, Hilarious. Right. And credibility. I don't know. I mean, would you buy a business course from him? Maybe not. Right, right. But he's got a huge following. The other side, though, is you've got People that are so credible, they're so good at what they do, and yet nobody knows about them. And so they could have the best offerings in the world. Yes. Because they've got all in the brain. And you talk to them and you're like, they're a complete genius and everybody needs them, but nobody knows about them.

All the Enneagram Fives out there, that one's for you, too.

That's for you. So you have one or the other, but you're not going to create profitability from that. You have both. And I actually see people that have both. They have credibility and they have visibility, but because they haven't stepped into being an expert, or they're not charging because they don't give themselves permission to promote, or they have mindset issues around receiving money, about that energetic exchange of giving value and receiving something back, so they're not creating the profitability. And so that's the triangle that I help people with. But it all stems for creating more visibility, which is pr. Let's just say that's what it is. Right? It's pr. And I am. My background's in journalism. My degree is in journalism, but I never learned pr. I learned how to. To do it. I should say. I was never taught pr. I learned how to do it on my own, which is really unique because I'm the layman at it. But I teach people.

But that's how you can teach people.

That's how I can teach people.

I love that. I love that. So how do they learn all this from you?

A couple of different ways, but the one that I think is probably the, say, the best value, I think. I think there's great value in all of them. I'm gonna have a free masterclass, and I'll give you the link to that, just so people can understand some of the myths they've been told about things like paying to play, that you have to pay to play. You have to raise your hand to play, but you should not pay a gatekeeper. And that's what people are doing, whether it's on Instagram, they're buying followers, they're buying likes, or they're paying to be seen or featured in places, or they're paying a podcast agency to pay podcast host. I'm sure you get those, like, put this guest on, you know, because the guest paying $500 to get on the podcast. So all of those places are pay to play. And the problem with that is it's temporary.

I agree.

You're never gonna learn the skill and the Moment you stop paying, the results stop happening. So I believe in teaching people a skill to continue getting results forever. So.

Oh my God, all of you listening? I know she just like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That is exactly it. Like, that is exactly it. Like, we're not slapping band aids on this shit. I love what you're doing, love. Okay, so they need you. Where are they going? Where are they going?

The Pitch Club Collective. That's what I've got coming out in October that I am so excited about. And that is a 12 week it's course plus live coaching. So I've got an evergreen course or a course that it's an at your own pace and that's got modules like social proofing and it's got modules like permission to promote. But then it also dives really deep into my favorite, the strategy and the processes, which even if you're not a strategy person. And it's okay because it's all done in a way that's very easy to understand. But like, clarity, clarity on what is your brand message? What is your bio like? I call them keynotes. That's a speaker term. Like, what are the unique stories where you can tell your story while adding value, while developing know, like and trust with whoever is listening or reading or however they're consuming you know, your value and how to be seen in publications. Like, how did I as someone that has no idea what. How to do PR, because print journalism is very different than PR. How did I get featured in 20 national international publications in one year without ever paying for a PR company?

There you go. You guys like. And I love, I love everything. Because you aren't a trained person. You're actually an in the trenches kind of person, which is actually who I. And that's the kind of way that I like to, to learn. I don't give a shit how many like letters are after somebody's name or how many certifications because, you know, I get. Get asked all the time how many life coach certifications you have. I'm like fucking zero. But I have a PhD in experience that is unmatched. Right?

And hard knocks.

Right? And that is who you are. Like, that is who you are. And I'm telling you, these are the best people to learn from are the people that have been in the trenches, doing the fricking work, grinding it out, being resilient, resourceful, scrappy. Like, you're the one of the scrappiest people I've ever met in my life. And that is such a compliment. Thank you.

That is A huge compliment.

It's a freaking huge. I love the word scrappy too. It's like, oh, we'll get shit done, don't you worry. And everything that you do is filled with so much passion. And I know that anybody that.

Is in alignment with what you're saying right now, you guys, you need to go and find her on Instagram. What's the website for the Pitch Club Collective. Because when this is airing is right when like they're going to need you and to round out the year and go into 2021 with so much clarity, vision, credibility, visibility so you can make the profits and wake up every day excited about it. How do they get into the collective?

Well, first go to your show notes so that they can click on the link to get the, the masterclass given to them. Because even, even if they're not sure they're ready right now, if you don't have a business or you have an idea, like the masterclass is going be to, to light you up. Because I give away, I mean, I'm really about giving away the secrets because I don't want to be a gatekeeper. No, I could tell you all of the secrets right now. Now having the templates and the process to implement them is a little different, but the other is just going to my website, so. Www.rebecca r e b e c c a caffiero c a f as in frank I e r o dot com and then to the work with me. And I go through it and I've got all kinds of kind of goodies, but I do want to empower people to get results. And one thing I'll say about all of this, while strategies and tactics are incredible and I am a strategy and tactic girl, I love those. But a big part of the success, like I can teach you how to pitch yourself to a publication and I can teach you how to do it in a way that's going to like one of my students, there was 400 pitches and she got selected. And it was just a couple of things, but at the end of the day, Tracy, the biggest difference that it makes on creating long term success is being a really good human being and understanding that taking care of relationships is the best way to be successful in business. And I'm going to give one example. I used a system that I use and it's called Harold I'll Tell the Secret. It's called help a reporter out if somebody goes to it. Right now, it's completely overwhelming. And so I had to like, you know, reverse engineer how to do, how to use it. But I had a reporter that I pitched to for U.S. news and world Report, and she reached back out to me and she got a ton of pitches and she's like, I have some additional questions. And one, you know, I got back to her right away. And that's the thing is get back right away. You know, I thanked her for her time and just a couple of little things like that. And then after the interview was published, after it aired, which that got picked up on Yahoo finance, we met 22 million people. I can't say I got 22 million clients from it. Let's be real. But like, like 22 million people read that publication. And I thanked her. I followed her on social media. I tagged her. Like, I did all of the things to take care of their relationship on the back end. Just like if someone does something, you know, sending them a thank you card or gift or whatever people do, like, you know, my mom taught me to send a thank you card after I got a Christmas present. And I will tell you, it means that you usually get the behavior rewarded, like whatever you want. Like, reward that. But that reporter then, because I had taken care of that relationship, she reached out to me again for another article later. She's like, hey, what's your website? I saw you can talk about this. Would you like to be a source? And that was in the beginning of COVID and my. It was five paragraphs of my. It was. I was the main source in another US News and World Report. And then that ended up helping. She helped me get a NBC News live interview on the news. And so. And now she's got me a pitch for a speaking engagement. So, like, that person is now a friend. All started with just taking care of a relationship. So.

Important.

You are one of my favorite human beings. And because you are a good human being and you all know, listening right now, I only bring you people that I'd actually like, take a bullet for and like, actually really, really like. And this little lady is one of my favorites, for sure. I believe in everything she's doing. I know that the value that she provides just being in her presence alone, you're just.

You'll just feel it. But then in what she can actually teach and guide you to. Like, she's here to guide you to exactly what your calling is. And I know you're sitting on it and I know that it is keeping you up at night because you know you're not doing it. And all these things that we led this conversation with the Imposter syndrome, the, you know, all the yeah buts that we talked about. She is the perfect guide for you to help you step into everything that you were always here to do. Anyway, my friend, Rebecca, you are magical and I just love you so much. Thank you so much for just dropping so much knowledge and value and gold on us all, including me. I needed to hear a lot of what you said and reminding of it.

Because I know that you and everyone listening has a message, has a unique message that will help others. And my role, my goal, is to put a megaphone to the message, put a spotlight on the brilliance that you have. Because it's hard enough just to be a person in the world, like to sift through all of the pain and trauma and the gifts and the adventures that we've got to to realize this is how we impact people. And so once you've gotten to that point, the most painful thing is not knowing how to amplify that impact. And that's what I'm here to do, is to be an amplifier of other people's impact.

I love it. You guys go hook up with Rebecca so that you can put a megaphone on your message as well. My friend, I love you. If you guys love this episode and you got so much out of it, please let us know. I would love to know what you learned from her. I have notes here, so I know that I learned something and I know you all did too. So it would mean the world to us if you shared it, tagged us. Let us know what you love, maybe even what you didn't. I don't care. I'm open to all feedback. So, Rebecca, thanks again for being here. I just adore and love you and can't wait to see the ripple effect of this movement that you have really stepped into beautifully. Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you enjoyed or learned something from this episode, I would love for you to take a screenshot, share it on Instagram and tag me so I can hear what landed on your heart. This will also help me to bring you even more episodes with topics you want want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, it is so appreciated. As always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it is time to do the work to become bulletproof. You can find me on Instagram @traceyomalley and tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com here's becoming bulletproof.