92: The Enneagram isn’t complicated, but it is complex

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to Millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

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Welcome to this week's episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast and it is Ennea Talk Tuesday. And this is going to be a short and sweet and tell it like it is episode because I have been sensing this coming on is probably one of the most common things I get asked and I know the motive behind it and so I wanted to just kind of like straight shoot ya. Like you know I do. And I know so many of you are just now catching on to what the Enneagram is. And it is a lot more complex than the cute, fun memes that we see on Instagram or even the fun tests that you take online. It is a very, very, very incredible and powerful tool when used properly and in the right way, which is kind of gonna which is kind of what I'm gonna be talking about today. There's so many complexities to it between the levels of health, which is obviously the most important part of knowing your Enneagram type because that serves as your compass. There are wings, there are growth points and stress points, there are subtypes, there are tri types. There's all sorts of goodies in the Enneagram. And if you are curious about it, there are many ways to figure out what type you are. You can definitely go explore on your own for sure. Just know that it won't be just taking a test, plugging in some answers and then boom, there you are. You've heard me say before, 65 to 70% of the time those tests end up inaccurate and not because the tests suck or there's not one. I mean, I prefer certain ones. I like the one at the enneagram institute.com you do pay $12 and know that 65 to 70% of the time it's inaccurate for lots of reasons.

A Lot of times we will answer just based on behaviors. We will answer in ways that are compartmentalized. We will answer based on where we think we're headed. Because we've done all this personal development work. A lot of times, a lot of complex things in your past or trauma will definitely skew how those answers come out. If you're okay with deep diving into that, that is totally up to you. What I have found, if you really want to use this as a tool, and a powerful one in your business, in your home, in your health, in your relationships, all the things, it's best to have a guide. Just like anything. You know, Michael Jordan didn't become Michael Jordan without having a guide or coach. So if. If you are somebody that really loves the Enneagram and is very interested in it, then I. I highly encourage you not only to get a guide like me, to help you nail down your accurate type. Because if you have the wrong information, it's almost worse than if you have no information at all, to be honest with you. Because this, like this is a compass. And if you are using the wrong coordinates for your soul and your soul contract, it's going to be kind of pointless. But having a guide definitely helps. Especially one as skilled as I am, not only with the information. You've heard me say this before. There are tons of amazing people out there that are teachers of the information and they do all the things with it. And I love that. I love that. But information doesn't equal transformation. And because I am so obsessed with transformation, I am the Enneagram integration expert. So if you want to use this as a tool and aren't sure what to do with all the information, then I am your girl. You can go to traceeomally.com the work with me section for now, and definitely check that out. You can find me on Instagram, @tracyomalley, and on Facebook and LinkedIn and all the other things. Now, here's the real talk for you.

So one of the things that I.

Get asked and people reach out to me all the time, which I understand why, because I have used the Enneagram not only in my family, but what most of you come to me for is business leadership, sales, which, you know what? I'm pretty damn fucking good at that, too. And how to integrate the Enneagram into their leadership. Or a lot of times I'll get you saying, help me figure out my wife, my husband, my partner, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my kids. I will say this to anyone, first and foremost, and especially those of you coming to me for leadership. And you want to use this in your teams, which it is hands down the most effective leadership tool I have used in order to really bring out the best in every single person that I lead. Most of you know that I have a network marketing business that I've built over the last eight years. It has over 100,000 people in it. I have been a participant in helping seven millionaires come out of that organization, as well as probably 50 plus six figure earners. And they all have very, very diverse personalities, backgrounds, all of it. And how was I able to bring out the best in all of them? I used a lot of the Enneagram and I know many of you know that and have heard that I go into businesses and organizations and corporations and help CEOs and high level management deal and speak life and love and bring out the best in all of their people so that you can have a great culture, so that you can have a beautiful, cohesive, harmonious team that is all working for the greatest good. It is such a powerful tool. And every single time I get reached out to by a leader, a CEO, a manager, saying, okay, help me be better with my team. Help help me figure out my team. And although that's really, really important and amazing and a great thing, I will always say this to the person. So if that's. If this is you and you are attempting to use this beautiful tool in your business or organization, it must first begin with you and myself included. You know, I. I learned the Enneagram and started studying it over eight years ago. And I went kicking and screaming into it. But I quickly realized when I was kind of learning about myself, that this could be a powerful tool. In my home, my kids were 14 and 15 at the time. And in uncovering my own type, I realized that my children weren't the challenger like I am, but I was speaking to them as though they were. But before I could really integrate this into my home, first I really needed to understand the ins and outs of my type and my level of health and to gauge where I was at and to figure out in what areas this shows up. Maybe not so healthy. And I know many of you listening right now know the power of the Enneagram. You've been listening for quite some time with me. Maybe you've been listening and watching other Enneagram stuff. Maybe you've gone down the rabbit hole, whatever that looks like, and you know the power in this and you kind of go off and try to figure out how to use this in your Organization without doing your own kind of exploration process. So I'll give you an example. Me as an enneagram8.

When I was unpacking myself, I realized when I started learning about this, my level of health was not great. I was probably at a three or four, a scale of one to nine. And in knowing that, I really wanted to focus on where I was headed. This is really important as a leader. Like, if you are going to ask this of your team, your people, you must be willing to fucking go first. And so in order for me to really implement and integrate this in my home, I needed to move the needle in the direction of where I was headed. If I was going to kind of ask my kids to step up their game in communication, I needed to go first. And so that meant really understanding where I go in stress, what triggers me, and what that's really about. So in the past, like if my authority was undermined or I was questioned, I would be highly, highly triggered and explosive. Back in the day, at the level three or four of health, knowing what I know now, when my kids challenge me, because they will, because they are kids, they are not me and they are not robots. Right. And they're human. So understanding that, especially if I get some pushback from one of my kids, knowing how my energy kind of is very powerful as well as how my typical reaction when I feel that and what it's really, really about, I can have the emotional intelligence to not fly off the handle and then go make an amends later. I can actually like stay present in the moment. I can feel the feelings, but I don't have to let the emotions take. Which actually creates a healthier communication environment. It also builds credibility and trust amongst my kids. And it has. But I had to understand the ins and outs of my type first. And I see so often, I mean, I come and do masterclasses for so many teams and network marketing teams about how to integrate this. And it must always first start with you. That is the first level. And the first rule in leadership is, you know, in order to lead others so beautifully and elegantly and effectively, you first must lead yourself then absolutely, you know, to bring out the best in other people.

Is amazing. It's the greatest gift ever. But so often I see people that don't know enough about the Enneagram kind of go start, you know, typing people or oh, you're this, oh, you're that. And they use it as a weapon.

Not just on themselves sometimes, but on other people, you know, you know what I'm saying? Oh, that was very eight of you. Like don't do that. That is not how to use this in integrity so often in leadership. Because there's a bottom line at stake. We try to half ass the process or bypass what this is really about. And if you are going to use the Enneagram in any capacity, whether it's for yourself, which is important in your families, in your home, you must look through the lens of love and compassion, including for yourself. This is not to be used as a weapon on yourself either. I very easily could have looked at the Challenger back eight years ago at my level three or four of health and immediately gone into shame. And the dialogue of oh my God, I'm such a piece of shit, I'm such an asshole. Which I did at first, you know, quickly turned it around and you know, just with anything, you know, where there is dark, there must be light. And wherever you are on the level of health for your type, I really want you to focus on level nine because that is like the holy grail. That is your vision board thing. If you write, if you do nothing else with a vision board, I want you to hand write your type at the highest level of health there is. Because that's where you're headed. As long as you're unconditionally committed to doing the work on this, unconditionally committed to being radically honest with yourself without weapons in your hand and only through the eyes. The lens of love and compassion.

First, that must begin with you because you can't give what you don't have. And if you kind of half ass compassion, real powerful leaders in your organization will see right through it and you will lose credibility and trust. You will lose them. If you are trying to build a culture and a community, which is everything. If 2020 has taught you nothing in business, companies are analyzing who they have working for them and they are realizing where they are making cuts. People will hire.

Character over talent and over a resume all day long because they realize how important culture is to driving the line in any organization or business. If you come in with the Enneagram and think you know it all and start typing people and start using their type against them as a weapon or using your own type as a wall to say, well, you know what, I'm just a three, so deal with it, this is how I operate and you better get on board. You will never be an effective leader.

How to lead using the Enneagram is first, with yourself, with love and compassion, all parts of you, you embody all parts of your type. And there's going to be different expressions of it based on your wings, based on your subtype, based on your level of stress and knowing that the behaviors are kind of just a warning sign of like your core fear being triggered. And knowing that and catching yourself instead of using it as deflection and as a shield and as a wall and as a weapon, like I did for men many, many, many years. When you can do that for yourself, you're going to be able to look at everyone without judgment. Yes, and I said that even the ones that bother me the most, I realize that.

They'Re here to teach me something. They're usually mirror something that I don't love about myself or need to work on for myself. They may trigger me into healing a wound that maybe hasn't quite healed. I've had that happen a lot lately where people are trigger.

Which is an indication that there's something that needs to be healed more. And that happens in the workplace, in leadership all the time. Especially when you're working with a dynamic group and in order to build legacy kind of money and legacy kind of organizations, it's going to take a diverse group. I certainly don't want a bunch of eights working with me because that would be a horrendous, horrendous shit show. It would be very, very intense.

And you know, you don't want all of you because what happens is you're going to have to learn all the things that you're not great at and do them all the time. And I certainly don't want to do that. Like, I love to operate in instinct and intuition and I love to be the needle mover when push comes to shove. I don't have to be in control of everything. But boy, when all hell breaks loose, I am the person that you call. I'm the clutch person. I'm the fourth hole in baseball for sure. Like you. You want me coming in when the bases are juiced for sure. But you have to know your gifts and your strengths. And when you have a diverse team around you, you can operate mostly in your strength and let the other people operate in their strengths. And that is how you work smarter, not harder. That is how you build a culture that is bulletproof. It is. And if you're wanting to use this in your organization, I beg of you to start using this and understanding this for yourself first. And if you need help with that, I am your girl. I would love to take you through the process of discovering your soul contract and what that looks like on the Enneagram, helping you find your purpose and your gifts. And if you're needing to build a team around you, what you need, the pieces that you need or you should be looking for. If you're trying to hire people for certain positions, what kind of roles do you need them to play? I can help you with that too. You can go to traceyomally.com the work with me section and we can get started. I have helped hundreds of people, specifically, gosh, now, thousands, I would say, with the Enneagram, between masterclasses and organizations, individually, I've helped a couple hundred people with their own type. And watching the ripple effect of this, not just in their businesses, which is where most people come to me, but I see how elegantly they. They interweave this into their home life and marriages are being restored and relationships are being empowered and kids are being seen, heard and understood and generational patterns are being cracked wide open and ended. Because when we are seen, heard and understood.

We are able to fully express our authentic self. And that is the goal for all of us, I believe. I know in business for decades, I operated with this false facade. I was like that stoic, hard ass bitch all the time. I mean, did I need to have thick skin? Yes. Can I do that as an eight? Yes. Can I do that with love and compassion? As an 8? Yes. But for many years, I was operating in that unhealthy part. And there is nothing better than showing up in the healthiest form of your type, using your spiritual and soul gifts, building a team around you with the other gifts, seeing them and understanding them, and speaking in a language where they receive every intention that is on my heart.

Whether it's in your home or in your business. There is nothing better than watching the ripple effect of that happening. I know there are so many of you, especially with 2020, the land of the pivot, and course correcting. And really, it has put things in perspective about what's important. And I think now more than ever, everybody just wants to be who the hell they are. And if you're not sure who that is because you've been wearing masks for decades like I did, then definitely let's get together. And I would love to know those of you out there that love the Enneagram, how are you using it? Are you using it in business? Are you using it in your home? Do you want to learn more about how to integrate this? Because I am the master of integration, y'. All. And I love it. I love it. I could seriously geek out all day long putting the pieces of the puzzle together in organizations and teams. So if that's you, reach out. I would love to help you. And if you love this episode, please take a screenshot, tell me what you loved, share it with a friend, and if you really, really, really really love this podcast, please subscribe. Leave a five star review. That would mean a lot. That's how I bring nothing but the best to you. And in the meantime, here's to Becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@tracy omalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work.

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