Break Old Cycles, Heal Your Energy, and Unlock Your Highest Potential with Tracy O’Malley

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Sisters. Imagine this. Eight days of pure transformation at a private 10,000 square foot villa overlooking the Aegean Sea. Yes, as in Greece. As in this September where we will dive deep in sacred circles. Releasing, renewing and reconnecting with your highest self. Heal in the crystal clear waters of the Aegean Sea, letting the waves carry away what no longer serves you. You'll enjoy private boat rides to hidden coves and a soul awakening visit to the iconic Mamma Mia. Island. Every meal, a nourishing experience crafted with love by our private chef. Enjoy moonlight rituals, ecstatic dance, sound, healing breath work, sacred ceremonies, dancing lessons, as in Greek dance lessons, cooking lessons. So much more. This is a once in a lifetime experience that you do not want to miss. Everything is designed to awaken the divine within. This is more than a retreat. It's a homecoming to yourself. So are you ready to transform? If so, then join us in Greece this September. You can head on over to chrissymay.com for more information and to schedule your call. Now back to the show. Welcome back all you beautiful souls to another episode of Aligned and Alive. I'm your host, Chrissy May, and today we have an incredible episode. If you've ever struggled to truly understand yourself, why you react, the way you do, what drives you, and how to break free from old patterns, then today's episode is going to be a game changer. My next guest is a master at using the Enneagram is a powerful tool for self discovery, healing and transformation. In this episode, she shares how understanding your core motives and fears can unlock deeper self awareness, stronger relationships, and even greater success in business. We'll also dive into the balance of masculine and feminine energies, the connection between personal growth and entrepreneurship, and how to shift old narratives that no longer serve you. If you're ready to step into the next level of your life with clarity, confidence and purpose, then keep listening because this conversation is packed with wisdom that will shift your perspective and help you take action. It's an honor to sit and share in conversation today with the legend herself, Tracy O'. Malley.

It's like you wrapped up all 50 years of my life in all the things, you know, between business and spirituality and personal transformation. Like, that's what this whole life is all about. And yeah, I've got a lot of history there, so.

You sure do.

Yeah.

So we're gonna go deep, deep today. I love it. I love it too. And a quick note. Tracy and I, I've known of her for several years, but we met at Connecting with the Creator classes with Katie Kyleen last Year we did two certifications together. That was really powerful. So we'll be talking about that today as well. But let's take us back. Take us back to before the transformation, before all the healing and personal growth.

Well, I think I'm in a constant state of healing and transformation. And if you are somebody that is raising your hand and saying, I want to be the best version of myself, know that it's not a box you check. It's not something we do one time. Like, there's been many evolutions, you know, even before the obvious transformation, the one that was very, holy crap, like, move the needle, like 10 levels. But I feel like there's always been like a next level, a next level, a next level, another layer that we're unpeeling. But, you know, in, I'd say the last 15 years, you know, that ability to accelerate transformation is kind of what everybody has gotten to see and benefit from, quite honestly.

Right. So how you've always, have you always been a high achiever? Has this been in your blood since.

You were a little girl? You know, I don't, I don't. I, I. Yes, yes, I am a high achiever. However, I don't achieve just to achieve. You know, I will go head first and kick anybody's ass in my way when it gives me independence and autonomy and some form of control in my life. You know, I don't like to rely on people, but just to win things, to win is not my deal. Like if, if we're playing something and I really don't care, like, we play catan at my house all the time. It's this board game and it's fun for me. I am competitive, but I don't really give a about achieving a win there. I'm more about, like, how can I learn from this experience playing with all these different people to better myself, you know, in longevity. So I would say I've always been a high achiever. I grew up in a household back in Chicago, and I'm the oldest daughter. I'm an aries enneagram 8. You know, all the things that it's like, check, check, check, check, check. Yeah, she's a fireball. Basically. I have no water in my astrology chart. It's pretty much all fire and earth. And my dad, when I was four years old, I'll never forget it, he looked down at me and, you know, I'm looking up with these big green eyes and, you know, he always said, like, your job is to be independent. Learn how to make money in your Sleep, like, don't let anybody control you. Don't ever rely on anyone. I was like, okay. You know, and I was 4 years old, so I'm naturally wired like that. Plus the conditioning that I grew up with has always fed into, like, it's. If it's to be, it's up to me kind of energy for sure.

Were you raised in any sort of religious family, Religious upbringing at all?

My grandmother on my dad's side was like the uber Catholic, like the rosary, like no birth control, like no next level kind of Catholic. And my dad went to Catholic high schools and Catholic schools, and he was the oldest of seven. By the time he was an adult. He's like, I am not forcing anybody to do this. So, you know, when we were with Graham, you know, we talked about God and I was always interested, though, you know, growing up in the home that I did, it was an alcoholic home. It was very unstable. Mom was emotionally completely checked out. Dad was the Jekyll and Hyde alcoholic. I'm the oldest child. My sister was a train wreck in the most respectful way. She was like, I will get attention no matter how I can get it. And it was usually not good. So I'm here, like, playing chess with the family. And, you know, Sundays were kind of like when the dust settled, every would say, thank God it's Friday. I hated Fridays because it's like, we're gonna whoop it up and you never know what you're gonna get. But by the time Sunday rolled around, it was quiet in the house in the morning, probably because people are hungover and sleeping it off and, you know, nowhere to be in football Sunday and all the things. And I'll never Forget, I was 9 years old on a Sunday morning. It was pouring rain in Chicago, and I got on my bike and started riding around from all these different denominations of churches, you know, in this five mile radius that I lived in, there was like Baptist and Christian and Catholic and Lutheran. And I rolled up to this Baptist church at a nine year as. As a nine year old and pouring rain. And I walk in and looking like a drowned rat. And like, if this happened today, you know, some authorities would probably be called. And it was weird because I walked in and it was the. The Baptist church. And I walked down the steps like the lobby was down. And all of a sudden it was like the Red Sea was parting as I walked in. And you know, it's almost like the wave. Everybody's starting to look at, like this little girl walking in. And I stopped in front of this guy, I don't even know who he was at the church. And he's like, what are you doing here? And I just said, I have no idea, but I know that I'm. I want to understand what this is all about. And he handed me a Bible. And I never really took it further than that. I had always been interested. I always had a relationship with a God of my understanding, good, orderly direction God. And I was always seeking it out and trying to tap into it. However, when life would life me, I was like, that's cute, God, but I'm gonna play my own hand here. You know what I mean? So I never really understood or was modeled what living in faith was. It was like, if it's to be, it's up to me, you know, I'm gonna play my own deck. But I was always interested and deeply connected. And I also have like, some channeling that I have gifted, been gifted as well, so. But I didn't know how to make any sense of it. It definitely wasn't taught, total or modeled to me in a way that I respected. It was like, yes, we love God, but then we do. That's so out of integrity. So. But I was always seeking it. I was always, always seeking it.

Well, it's within you, right? You feel like a part of your being. I wanted to talk more about that because I know we shared a conversation and connecting with the Creator on, you know, on obviously having these gifts and whether they're, quote unquote, psychic abilities or they're just, you know, it's God within. And we're just so tapped in and tuned into that, to that essence. When was the first experience for you that you can remember as a young girl when you thought. Because I think we had a conversation of this and connected with the Creator where you actually saw. Was it you who said they saw angels? Somebody in the connected with the Creator said that, and I thought it was you.

No, that wasn't me. I've never like, seen angels, so to speak, But I have seen the gift of God and like the divine wisdom. And I think I was four years old the first time that I really understood that this was much bigger than me, that all of this was much bigger than me. You know, four years old was the first time I remember even self abandoning myself for the needs of my father, you know, my role, or what I thought was my role, you know, and like a good codependent little girl that I was, was being accommodating and accessible for whatever my dad needed. And that could Change on a dime, right? And I. There's this beautiful picture of me. I'm the cutest little thing, and I'm four years old, and in the picture is me kind of standing ground in front of my father, who's passed out in, like, a Lazy Boy, you know? And, like, even the look on my face is like, keep moving, y'. All. Nothing to see here. Nothing to see here. And I. Through all those times, I remember the presence of God saying, this is all going to matter for something much bigger than you. Just hold on. Just hold on. I'm with you. Lead me. You know, I was like, lead me, guide me, walk beside me here, because I don't know. So I always felt it, saw it. And there were days that I just. I was like, this sucks and this is not fair. Like, I don't want this calling. I don't want this to be bigger than me. I just want to get through a day. And, you know, there were moments that I leaned in and others that I numbed out to try and silence all of it.

That's just. So when you think about just that, the weight on that little girl's shoulders, that. That had to even have to experience that, right? Like, at such a young, young, impressionable age.

And I was taking care of my little sister as a four year old. She was two. You know, I was left not alone, but, like, to tend after her, you know, and there were accidents that happened because, hello, I was four. Like, she drank bleach. I pulled her teeth out with a jump rope. She got bit by a dog. She broke a few arms, you know, like, I was just a kid left to be responsible for her. And even though, like, I was very, very mature for my age and even adulting, I mean, my neighbors had me, baby. I was telling this story the other day. My neighbors, when I was nine, they had three boys under five, and I was left babysitting them overnight. Like, who does that? Yeah, I mean, I was super uber mature, but I was still just a freaking kid trying to figure things out. And, and felt the weight of that responsibility. And also, you know, everything's. And you know, it's like I felt the weight and the, the depth of that responsibility. And also I felt so proud. And like, the ego, it's like, yes, I am strong and powerful. Yes. And so I made it my mission to show the world how. How much I could carry on my shoulders how strong I could be. And, you know, when your ego really likes it, plus, it feels like, you know, this armor of protection, people will utilize that. They think they're helping you, and in a lot of ways they did, because I am who I am because of that. And also a lot of this destruction that I've caused in my own life is from that responsibility, that over responsibility that I have felt many, many times in my life.

Let's talk more about that. So I know you're very open about your sobriety journey, and I love talking about these. These moments that, you know, we. We reach like the depths of hell oftentimes, and then we can pull ourselves out of it, which is, to me, like the real success in life to go through all of the things and feel every bit of it. Can you just take us on that journey, what that looked like? Because, I mean, obviously coming from such a heavy childhood, really taking on so much responsibility and being in survival mode, that led to a lot of your decisions later on in life, but you were able to really come full circle from that and rise and evolve to where you're at today.

Well, the whole thing about, you know, sobriety for me, like, obviously I had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol. Obviously, I've had a very dysfunctional relationship with food, with relationships, with pretty much everything. I've had a dysfunctional relationship. And I think a lot of these addictions that come out of this are symptoms rather than the thing. And, you know, I always said I didn't want to be like my dad. You know, I didn't want to be this Jekyll and Hyde. You never knew what you were gonna get. And, you know, my first drinking experience was when I was 15. And I realized pretty quickly I didn't do things like other people people. You know, I grew up in the era of Zima, so, yeah, that dates me. Yes, I'm 50 something years old. But, you know, everybody was drinking Zimas and wine coolers, and they're so cool. And I'm like, give me the SoCo. You know, my first drinking experience was a soco, and I drink a fifth of it. And I will never forget, like, that first sip. That first sip, it was like, you know, because when you're carrying the weight of the world all the time and you're pretty tightly wound and you're a little bit intense, right? And although I love that I'll eat intensity for breakfast, being that tightly wound all the time, like, think of like an instapot. It's gonna blow eventually, right? And that first sip was like. And I felt like I could exhale for the first time. And I think where that became a Problem for me was I was chasing that first sip feeling, not the first sip, not the drunk. I didn't, I, I didn't like getting blackout drunk. I didn't like what I became so out of control sometimes. But I wanted that first drink, first sip feeling the, the exhale, the, the peace, the calm. And I thought like I could just have that and I would test it. Like I didn't physically become ever addicted to alcohol. Like I could easily stop and I would test it like in college when I was drinking the entire baseball team under the table. I was like, see, like I'm a pro, but I can stop at any time. And I would easily, no problem. 30 days, no problem. I'm not like my dad. He drank every day.

And then obviously I get married and have babies, no problem, no problem. But when it became a problem and unmanageable is when I did do it, you never knew how far it would go or how much had been so repressed that it was going to spew out like, like volcano lava onto anybody in its path. And that wasn't a pretty picture. And it usually went out onto the people that I cared about. And this went on like I'd have a blackout, I'd be fine for a year, no problem. You know, I, I didn't need it every day. But it was more for that exhale, pressure release that I noticed the problem. But I didn't realize that I probably shouldn't have this in my life until my dad passed away and I was 40 years old. He was diagnosed with cancer and gone within 12 days. And, and you know, he never recovered. He was, he was a very high functioning alcoholic. Never missed a day of work, you know, never looked hungover, like the whole thing, which was very confusing, you know. But when he turned 40, I had already stopped drinking, you know, because my kids were teenagers. And I was seeing the impact and I was seeing the same look in their faces that I had. And I was like, I, I'll be damned if I fucking repeat this because I know where this leads for them. And I started to see some behaviors in them that some were similar, some were different, both were destructive. And I know, like you're gonna do what is taught, told and modeled for you. And what I'm modeling for them is absolutely unacceptable for their future for me. And I'm not going to be as I do, as I say, not as I do. You know, I'm not gonna be that. You know, I'm somebody who prides himself on walking their talk. And I had Quit drinking because I just. I was like, this serves no good in my life. And. And they need me now. They were 14 and 15 at the time. They need me to be clear and present and, like, fully alive. And then my dad died. I was about 30 days into sobriety when my dad died suddenly and stayed sober through the whole thing. And my sister, she. She had an alcohol problem and a drug problem too. And she picked a fight with me at his funeral. And I was like, seriously, she's so lucky I'm not drinking right now because I could literally fucking kill her. Like, I literally could. I was like, this is nuts. Um, I ended up relapsing about four months in the. The guy I was dating at the time, you know, he's like, you've been doing so good. What's one weekend gonna do? I was like, you know what? You're right. And that first sip was like, that first drink feeling like I had it 15. I'm like, see, it's not a problem. I just. I know this is just the first drink feeling. We'll leave it at that. You know, the next day, I'm blacked out, drunk belly up at a blackjack table, you know, with a bucket of Crown Royal this big and jumping out of moving cabs. And that was the last day. I was like, I don't have an alcohol problem. I have an emotional problem. And I need to figure out emotional sobriety, because as long as I have emotional sobriety, this is a non factor. And so that's where that journey began. And then I realized very easily, although alcohol is the obvious problem, it's the food, the disordered eating with food that will actually kill me. And I walked into rehab and told my therapist, I'm like, listen, listen, Nancy, I know, like, I'm here for the alcohol. That one's easy for me. But I've been hiding this other disordered kind of eating, you know, bulimia, anorexia, you know, abusing laxatives. You know, all the things I'm like, if I don't tell you about this, I'm going to lean into this instead of that, and I refuse to do that. I need emotional sobriety, and I'm here for it. And that was almost 13 years ago.

Amazing. And congratulations.

Thank you.

That's huge. Huge win. I always just find it so fascinating. So you just got to a moment where you could actually flip the switch for the most part, besides that first four months, whatever relapse you mentioned. But you hit that aha moment of like, did you Have a piece of that where it was like, I might die and then my kids won't have.

I mean, were you.

Was it that down deep or was it more of just.

It was more about the legacy I was leaving my kids. And in my kids, I. You know, after I jumped out of the moving cab and rolled into a ball onto Las Vegas Boulevard and I sat on the corner in front of the Bellagio thinking about my life, I was like, this is not. This is not all life is supposed to be. I haven't gone through everything I've gone through to have it end like this. And I don't want this for my kids because, you know, if you don't repair it, you repeat it or it gets repeated or both. And I was living proof of that. And. And I wanted better for them, but it took me breaking the cycle. And, you know, one thing about me is like, I have to have my back pretty much hard pressed against the wall for me to do things. I don't recommend that. However, that's kind of, you know, part of the calling on my life, I think. And I think just sitting there humiliated with myself. And it's either I beat myself up into oblivion and this is the legacy, or I learn a new way. And that would mean unlearning everything the first 40 years had taught me, which, you know, we were very prideful, you know, Irish pride, you know, very stoic and strong and loyalty and all of that. And in order for me to get the emotional sobriety I desperately needed and desired, I was going to have to break ties with pretty much anything and everything and everyone that was part of my life to do it. Because that conditioning and environment, you know, you hear environment stronger than willpower. Like, I don't care how freaking strong you are, that will take you out every time. And so I needed to play in different sandboxes, so to speak. I had to walk away very violently at the end of a relationship in the middle of my early days of sobriety. Like, I ended up in an ambulance, you know, in the first six months of my sobriety, because I so desperately wanted to have both. Like, I can fix this relationship. He was just like my father. Like, he was a good person, but like Jekyll and Hyde, I can be in that and do this. And God was like, that's cute. You cannot. How bad do you want it? How bad do you want this calling that's on your life to not just impact your family, but you and beyond? And I, yeah, I just flipped a switch and said, this is where that part of the story is over.

I love it. I, I talk a lot about recreating your life, right? And recreating your reality. And then even my book, I talk about, you know, getting rid of the old programming that we were taught and told, you know, since we were, since we were little kids. And so let's share with the listeners, let's give them some really good value on how to navigate just recreating a whole new world for yourself. And it doesn't matter. It can be alcohol, it could be drugs, it could be sex, it could be shopping.

Check, check.

There's so many addictions out there that people are facing that we can help them navigate into a whole new way of being. So what that, what did that look like for you? Or even how do you teach your clients right now? You know, how do you guide that whole process on where to get started? And in your, your expert opinion, you.

Know, going, I think you have to be willing to disrupt every area of your life if, if you really want it as bad as you say you want. You can't. Most people make that decision when they're radically uncomfortable and they just want whatever, you know, insert your choice here, you want whatever to stop the pain, the scarcity, the fears, like, whatever, like, I just wanted this to stop. And this is why only 2% recover, is because we say this when we're in triage, when we're in crisis, when we're like white knuckling life. But then the thing, the, the minute things get a little bit more like, okay, this isn't so bad, like, I got this, or, you know, a pattern that maybe isn't as unhealthy shows up. It's like, yeah, see, it wasn't that bad, but this isn't that bad. And then it's just a matter of time before we're back even worse where we're in the dysfunction. And I knew. And you have to, if you really want to transform your life, you have to be willing to disrupt all parts of it, especially when it doesn't move, make sense, and especially when the very people, the very environments that keep you in that state start talking about your growth like you have a decision to make. Are you, it's like this fork in the road. Are you going to go down the path where everybody that you've ever known and everything you've ever done is down there? And you know how that goes. And, and sometimes that known is way easier to accept and tolerate than the unknown. And for true transformation to really happen, you have to be willing to go, go down the road. You have no idea what's in front of you or who's there or who's left. And it's disruptive. It's very disruptive. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, sometimes even. And I tapped all four of those things. When I decided this is how this, this is where this stops. I walked away from the career I had for 15 years. I'm a single parent. I was the sole provider emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. I took my income to zero and went down the road that I had no idea. And ended up going from a male dominated industry in the car business, where I was really, really great at it, but hated every second, into like figuring out at 40 what am I here to do? And ended up in like the health and wellness space with a female dominated. In a female dominated industry. And I notoriously did not work well with women, you know, or get along well with women. I was, you know, the one talking ESPN and, and golf scores rather than shopping and lip gloss, you know, but here I was disrupting my life, all areas of my life. And it was cool because I was introduced to the Enneagram in rehab by my therapist. And I wanted nothing to do with it, but it gave me this. You know, I've always kind of put puzzle pieces together. Growing up in an alcoholic home, you have to be able to read situations and put the right pieces together. Like I said, playing chess. When I was introduced to the Enneagram, even though I wanted nothing to do with it and came into it kicking and screaming, all of a sudden it gave me this language to what God had been showing me all along. And it was actually like this roadmap. And when I was a little girl, for fun, I used to read the atlas before there was GPS on our phone, the atlas at the yellow covered, spiral bound atlas. And I used to get made fun of for it because I'd be sitting there reading like Iowa. And I was just fascinated. Like, how do all, how does all of this connect? And how do. If we want to get from here to there, how do we get there? Like, I've always had that kind of brain and you know, come full circle with the Enneagram. It's a navigation system. Like our home base resides in our core fears, our core motives. But we don't live there unless we isolate ourselves or we, we stay in this little bubble, we venture out in life and we have to know which roads lead us to the faster route, the, the scenic route, you know, all the things and The Enneagram kind of gave me a language that I'd already been using, but with more structure, not just for myself, but other people. And when, when I was disrupting my life and taking my life to ground zero, walking away from the boyfriend, walking away from financial security, walking away from the career that I was like really, really great at, and using my own navigation system and the divine, you know, order of God. Like, everything in my household changed with my kids and I, you know, one of the things, there's the promises of aa and I remember the first day in rehab, reading them and I was sobbing because I was like, how is any of this possible for me? And my favorite one, I love them all, but my favorite one was, no matter how far down the scale you have gone, you'll see how your experience can benefit others.

And I was like, okay, this is what this is all about. This is what this is all about. Not just for me and my home and my family, but beyond. And we'll take it from there. And I remember I was about four months sober and they had me speak at my first AA meeting. I was so nervous and like way over prepared, which I never prepare, you know. Now like I have like the preparations that I do, but nothing like I did for like a five minute, you know, talk to the rooms of aa. And I remember when I got down and it was clunky, I didn't even look at my notes, like all that preparation and I just went like divinely and intuitively. And I remember, so amazing. You're going to do this for a living. Like you're going to end up doing this for a living because you are so powerful before, beyond what you can even imagine. But I had no idea what this looks like. And I was like, my life, I was like, I don't even know how I'm going to like pay the rent on my house that I'm in. I don't even know how I'm going to put my son in baseball cleats. He was showing up in ripped pants and holes in his cleats and a borrowed baseball glove. And you know, my daughter was in theater. I'm like, I have no idea how this is to going, going to happen, but I believe it's possible and I will make it happen. But I was disrupting my life constantly in a healthy way, not in the destructive ways that I was doing.

A mustard seed of courage. That's all it takes, I mean, to show up. And so then how did you transition into trusting that more and more and More. And what steps did you take in this new journey? Because I think it's. Yes, we all have this great idea, okay, I'm going to just throw a bomb on it all and then, you know, start anew, if you will. What did that look like, though, for the next, you know, months to come?

Well, I think the biggest part, and I will say this over and over and over again, is like, the company that you keep, the environment that you are in, will dictate the resolve you have to see this through. I had literally had wiped out my entire social network. Anybody that wasn't my two children.

I was willing to lose, and I did. And so it was. It was kind of this. I didn't have all this chirping in my ear or the who did. Who do. Who the hell do you think you are? Or you shouldn't do that. I mean, I had like a family member that was like, you probably shouldn't do that. You might want to get a real job. It takes somebody special to do that. And I was just like, grab your popcorn because it's going to be really fun for you to watch. Like, it was one of those things. Like, I know. I don't know how I'm going to make this happen, but I know why and I know who is leading me. And I just, I had not a lot of, you know, chirping in my ear and I just, head down, you know, I took care of my body first. My spirit, my mind and everything else was really falling into place. And I didn't waver from that. Even when it didn't make a lot of sense, I threw myself into the service of others. You know, I built a brand new community around me and people were inspired. I was like, you know, for 40 years, I kept this vulnerability and this transparency at bay. I was like, you're only going to see the stoic, rock hard can't with me, girl. And that changed in sobriety. I was like, when I heard the statistics about how many of us actually maintain recovery and it's only 2%, I was pissed off that more people that have made it weren't talking about it. And that's something that happens with me. When I get pissed off about something, it's like, well, then I'm gonna do it because, you know, I need. We need more stories of hope and that it's possible. And so I was like, I'm gonna blow my anonymity out of the water and I don't even give a. And it upset a lot of my family. Like, it did. They're like, who are you to talk about? I'm like off. Like this is me and this is hope. And honestly, being in service to other people will keep me accountable and aligned and also my kids. And so I just trudged forward with it and little by little, you know, one after the other people started showing up, people that I could make an impact on, people that I could know the way, go the way and show the way for. And that grew really, really fast. And it was beautiful. However, I had to learn boundaries. I wasn't, I was like, well, more is better. Right. Like, let me throw myself into all these people even more. And this is where some of these addictive behaviors, no matter how good they are and how much great things they do, if you are depleted and cashed out, like it's a, that's not sustainable. And this is where I was starting to swing to the other end of the pendulum in a not so healthy way. But it was hard to stop it because a, it was doing a lot of really great things. I was healthier than I've ever felt. I was making more money than I'd ever made in my life. People loved me. I was this big beacon of hope. But physically my, I was starting to, to crumble. And now like here I am 13 years later, like finding that sweet spot in the pendulum instead of being, you know, mass destruction over here, jumping out of moving cabs and then the other end of the pendulum, self abandonment, you know, serve others at all costs, including your own life, health, emotions, whatever. And, and now it's like this sweet spot where I can go between the two in a way that's super healthy. Not just for and, and good for other people, but also for me, my family and the vision that God has for me too. You know, I'm not just here to be the servant. Like he also wants us all to prosper and be abundant and, and find this joy for life not just in other people, but for what he has created for us too.

I love it all. Thank you for sharing all of that. And that's really what it comes down to, is connection and finding your community and, and you hear it a lot. But like you know, your tribe, you know, you're like hearted, like minded, sisterhood, brotherhood, like this is where it's really at. I think the. But there's also this other part to it is now you're in a whole new world and there is a thing called spiritual narcissism.

So yeah, you know, spiritual arrogance. Yep.

You know, with, with ego and, you know, you can see both spectrums. Right. And so I think it's just a whole new world of navigating now. I really believe this is to be of checking ourselves every day to operate from integrity 100 and really lead the way in such a powerful movement, um, that we hold each other accountable as well, right. Like within our own spiritual communities and so forth. And so, I mean, it's just been such a joy to connect deeper with you inside what we did last year. And I want to talk more about that just because we're on the. The plane of spiritual practices and really sinking into that sweet spot, which is what you mentioned, which I find so true. You know, getting away from the hustle, hustle, grind, grind culture, which I think a lot of people are recognizing. There's not a lot of full fulfillment in that mode, but finding your areas of just deliciousness.

Right?

We can just sit in that beautiful feminine energy and really tap into a power that's far beyond our imagination. So when we talk more about even things like connecting with the Creator and going to soul prayer, what's a great practice you can kind of share with the audience just on how they could even just get back into their body, back into their state of true being on a daily basis that can be quick and attainable?

Well, somebody who has thrived, had the receipts to show that that masculine energy was really powerful and fulfilling and moved the needle. And I mean, I will say, like, being in the feminine energy, although I love it, it's not a natural move for me. Right. So this spiritual practice to be in, and I've been in it for the last year, and I will tell you, it is so radically uncomfortable. Like the hustle, the force, the aggressiveness, like, I know how to do that. I could do that in my sleep and have been revered for it. So for me to really be in this feminine energy is very challenging. So I say that to a lot of you, that, you know, you know, the bottom line, the spreadsheets, the. The measurables, the receipts, like, that's where the action happens, but it's in the creation and the connection in that feminine energy that makes when you do take the action fulfilling, sustainable, amazing, like a lot more effortless. And it's really uncomfortable. It's really, really uncomfortable. So, you know, you and I had this beautiful conversation last month about.

Transparency versus vulnerability. And when I started talking about my journey 13 years ago, everybody was like, you're so vulnerable. You're so vulnerable.

I'm like, you know what?

You're Right. You're right. And then I was like, the more I heard it, the more I was like, they don't even fucking know me. They just heard my story of where I've been, but none of them knew in real time what was happening. And I think the true essence of connection and intimacy of with the right people, another big asterisk right there is being very discerning of who gets. Your vulnerability has been a game changer for me. I still don't love it. I still kick and scream when I'm doing it. I just did it this last week. I'm coming off a beautiful soul girls trip with all of my tight inner circle, and there was this moment I was having a meltdown. You know what that looks like? Today is very different. It's just like closing the door, pumping my arms, like, I don't want to talk to anybody. Like, you know, the vulnerability wall of titanium has come up, and thankfully, I have the right people around me. They're like, we love all of you. You are safe with me. That's not something I do easily, but it's so critical. So critical for me to be in that divine order.

And true connection. You know, I've had lots of beautiful friendships in my life, and most people felt very, very close to me, but they could only get so far. Like I said, I've always had this wall up, and not just any wall, but a titanium wall that I add layers to the top every year. Every year. And I even built a moat around it. So even as close as people have felt to me, there wasn't this vulnerability exchange or intimacy exchange. And. And at some point, especially with more evolved people, they would feel like this. This isn't. Like, I don't feel safe with you if you can't be vulnerable with me. Like, how is this safe for me to be fully vulnerable with you? And I could see where that would happen. And so the last two years specifically, you know, I'd cleaned house again. You know, this is part of the process. As you go, new levels, new devils kind of appear, you know, within yourself and in your environment. And. And I had to clean house again to make room for the people that I would feel fully safe being vulnerable with. Aside from my two children, they get full vulnerability from me. But some of my closest friends that not only are safe to be vulnerable with, but actually are wise where I would actually trust their advice. Not just like, oh, I'm gonna hold space for you. Like, no. Like, even in the midst of their own shit, they can show up Fully be wise, a good steward of their giftings. But it's still really challenging. Again, but how bad are we wanting to step into the highest version of ourself? To whom much is given, much is required. With great reward comes a huge fucking responsibility. And I'm committed to that no matter how radically uncomfortable I am. And so this last year I've been in my full feminine energy and I am not a fan. And I also really love it. Yeah. Because everything that is for this next layer of my life, this next era of my life, my curtain call, so to speak. You know, this curtain call and the legacy I'm going to leave behind, this is required because I'm recalibrating to not just be the force that I am. I know I'm a force. Like as a given I've been a force since know I was two feet tall. But now to be this divine feminine force is like the real glow up and the real flex. And so I'm here for it no matter how uncomfortable it is.

Deep bow, sister. Deep bow. That is so uncomfortable.

Oh my God.

That is the real work in real time.

Wow. What an absolute, absolutely incredible conversation with Tracy today. Her wisdom, resilience and sheer depth of her journey are nothing short of legendary. And trust me, we've just only scratched the surface. You do not want to miss part two next week where we dive even deeper into her powerful insights, untold stories and game changing lessons that will lead you through feeling inspired, empowered and ready to take action. So make sure you subscribed, set a reminder and get ready because the Legend herself is back next week for more. Make it a beautiful day. Much love.