EP160: Talia Maddock—Trusting Your Intuition and Being Your Own Best Advocate: Breast Implant Illness Follow-Up

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

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Well you guys, we're in July, July 2021 and I'm taking a break from talking about leadership and Enneagram for a day because I would not even be here able to talk about any of the things that I share with you on the daily if it wasn't for a realization about four years I was on my deathbed planning my own funeral. My will was updated and it was this time exactly last or four years ago that I just, I didn't think I was going to make it out of 2017, and ironically, after 14 specialists and two and a half years of chasing my tail and doing everything I thought was right, I finally landed in front of somebody that just took the time to ask enough questions and give me time to kind of go through my timeline. And it was in that two hour or so consult that when I was putting my timeline together, I put two and two together and realized that the beginning of a lot of these health things that were happening came when I had swapped out my old previous breast implants that happened to be leaking at the time and put in new and improved better for you breast implants. And within five weeks of the swap out, the avalanche started. And I had never put it together until I sat in that doctor's office kind of going through it. And he wasn't the one that came up with what was going on with me. I kind of intuitively knew in that moment, I got the divine download from God saying, it's your implants. Get them out. And so I left that appointment, got on, you know, Google, which, you know, be careful about that. Back then, there wasn't a lot of information about it, quite honestly, breast implant illness, but I knew very instinctively that that was at least the catalyst that started a bunch of other problems. It wasn't just that, but there was a bunch of other things. And I remember when I googled it and found this Facebook group, there were 17,000 or so people in this Facebook group at the time. I think that group is now over 130,000 people four years later, which is crazy. But the very first post I saw when I entered that group on May 31, 2017, was with my dear friend Talia Matic, who is here today. If you've been a longtime listener of this beautiful show we did. She was one of my very first interviews back a year and a half ago, and we talked about this and how powerful community and other women have been on this journey. And today, explant is a trendy thing. Back when we were suffering so severely, nobody was talking about it. And one of the things I said about that Facebook group was I entered into it, and I had 25 mutual friends that were in that group, and I was mad at all of them. I'm like, why the hell has has nobody been talking about this publicly? I'm over here suffering and dying and. And even though I did not necessarily want to be on the interweb talking about my boobs and what I had done to myself and the spiral effect of all of that, but I knew that I needed to. And I met this dear woman, Talia, and she had had her explant, I think about two or three weeks before me. She was in a very similar situation. She was having a. Her symptoms externally. I mean, she looked awful, like very, very sick. Mine was all internal. And from that moment, we became friends and have been lighting the path for many with correct information. Not just the trendy shit that you see, all the celebrities talking about and I mean, the cool photo shoots and all of that, that are amazing and very inspiring. But there's a real, real thing behind the pictures and behind just removing the implants. There's a whole emotional process that, you know, here we are four years later. We just got done talking for about 30 minutes about all this stuff and we thought we would come together and bring you an update and really coming from our heart, give you really good information. If this is something that has been weighing on you or you're not sure where to go, or if you're. I get this question all the time. What test do I take to know? And that's kind of the beauty. And what we're going to talk about is, you know, really listening to your body and knowing, just knowing, not ignoring the very thing that is here to serve you, the greatest good and the journey of life. So, Talia, thank you for coming back on, honey.

Thank you for having me, sister. I'm happy to be here.

So when we last spoke for the people to hear, we were about 3ish years out. We were close to 3 years out from explant and it was just starting to become mainstream. You know, you were doing, you were on the show, the doctors and things like that, talking about this. What would you say for the person that's just tuning in and maybe this is one of the first things they're hearing about, or they're like, oh, shit. Okay, because it's kind of. We had the oh shit moment. Like, oh, shit, my implants. What would you say to that person that's listening right now?

Right now. You are here by appointment. It is not an accident that you tuned in today to Tracy's podcast, this particular one, or if it's shared on social media and someone shared it. Please do not doubt for a second that it wasn't meant for it to land on your ears in this very moment. That's the first thing I tell women is you're reaching out to me for a reason. You have had multiple red flags. Your intuition is telling you something's not right. All of the tests are coming back negative. All the doctors are telling you you're fine and you feel like a train wreck. So you are here right now listening to this podcast with Traci and myself for a reason. That's the first thing I would tell them is to be open to the information and trust that you were supposed to hear it today.

So one of the things that I hear a lot, and we were actually having a discussion about this before we hit record, was, you know, and I had the same thing. I mean, I had implants for 15 years and literally had no problems. I did have one leaking, but it wasn't until I opened my chest cavity up and put new ones in that I had problems. And there are people out there that have had them for some time, and then all of a sudden, symptoms show up. So they don't think it's the implants. You and I both know what kind of stress and things can cause that. What is your experience around that and working with other women that I know there's somebody listening right now who's had them for a while with no problems, and now it's a problem. And they don't want to necessarily say it's this because they don't have the proof. Right?

You're absolutely right. And every person I've. Every woman I've worked with, there's been a. All of a sudden moment. It just came out of nowhere. They think that it's typically around a stressful situation. I've heard women who've been in car accidents, women who've taken on new jobs, who've moved, gone through divorces. It's a trigger. And it's typically around something stressful happening in your life. Why does that happen? Because your body is under such distress, and all of those things that have been going on, all those issues that you've tried to explain this way or explain that way, all of a sudden, your body just can't take it anymore. It's overload, and your immune system is gone haywire, and everything starts to shut down and send alarm bells at the same time. So when you get to that point where, like, nothing makes sense, and you're like, well, I haven't done anything differently. Do not ignore the fact that it's just like anything, a stress factor and a foundation, eventually it breaks, Right? If there's a leak in a tire, eventually it pops. And I'm not saying physically your implants will pop. I'm saying your body can't take it anymore. And so there is something that triggered that overflow where the dam broke and it's freaking broken and it's not. You can't put the pieces back together. You cannot go detox enough. In fact, detoxing makes it worse. You, there's not a vitamin A supplement, there's not a band aid on this planet you can put on it to make it go back. It's just not going to happen.

I remember when I was sitting in my functional doctor's office and he had just taken 50 vials of blood to try and figure it out. And I had a slew of other issues going on that this kind of brought out of hiding. You know, one of the things that I said to you earlier was, although I would not wish this on anyone, the beautiful gifts that came as a result of this were powerful. The way that I don't just ignore the beautiful gift of a body that I was given, not just physically, but intuitively. Our body is, you know, way ahead of our conscious mind and it's always telling us something. And I ignored it for 40 plus years. The ability to really understand the effect of emotions on our nervous system and our somatic kind of healing that is required. I wouldn't have had that without this experience. But I remember when he took those 50 vials of blood, I would. At this point, I said to him, I don't care what those vials of blood tell you, there's going to be a whole shit ton of things there. But I know for a fact I won't be able to heal any of it without taking these out of my body. I know that it's compromising my immune system. And I mean, I'm. I'm a very aggressive person. And I assumed that taking them out all of a sudden it would be much easier to fight all this stuff. And the fact was, is, you know, my body was in such shock that it had to get worse before it got better and worse. Felt, I mean, I was already feeling like death. This was next level death. But when I did the timeline, and this doesn't just go for implants, you guys. You know, how I put the two and two together was because of an IUD I had had put in. And I had similar symptoms, but very low grade compared to what I was having. You know, I've talked to people now with fillings and things like that. So iud, fillings, implants, anything of the sort. If you have any of that going on, start there and remove it, really. But when I did the timeline of why all of a sudden did I have these symptoms? Well, surgery is stressful. And when I had a busted implant in my body, and we opened up the chest cavity. You know, that implant had mold in it, the old one, Right. Obviously with water, in a dark, warm place, black mold. They leave the old capsules in, which we'll talk about in a second, put new implants in. And then all of a sudden, for that to happen, it was very stressful. Very, very stressful on my body. So removing them two and a half years later, there was a whole slew of things. And I had enough information to know the importance of removing the capsule. Not just the ones they could easily access, but every bit of the capsule. So when I went to my surgeon, I knew that I had had old implants. And I knew, because I had the surgical records from that, I knew they left the old capsules, too. So there was a capsules in me, one that I knew was going to be filled with probably black mold, right. And the other was obviously around these implants. So when I got rolled into surgery and I told her, I said, I don't care what I look like when this is done, I don't want you to come out of that room until we have every bit of everything out of me. And she had to go kind of chasing some of it up my armpit from the old ones and. And all sorts of stuff like that. Now, you had an experience, and this is really, really important, you guys, in getting an explant because it is so trendy. There's lots of doctors doing it these days. Back when we were looking into this, there was a very small minute, select few that would do it and do it right. What was your experience back four years ago? Because it didn't go maybe as well as you would have wanted it to?

No, I. As soon as my girlfriend who did my hair told me about breast implant illness, I joined the same group you did. I immediately started sharing and I started looking for the best explant surgeon. At the time. There was a couple, a husband and a wife. His wife had been very sick, just like us. And they found this surgeon. They are very, very wealthy. And they were like, if we could go to anybody in this world, this is who we'd go to. They flew from California, I believe, to Dallas to see this particular surgeon. So dum dum me, I was like, oh, well, they're going to the best, and he's the best, then he must be the best. And I want the best. So I did. Did do some research. Well, a lot of research on him. And he had been speaking for 25 years to the FDA telling people, you got to stop putting implants in women. So I'm like, well, he's been an advocate for us. You know, he's been fighting his little tell off, telling them. So I did go to see him and consult, and he made me feel very comfortable. He said he would get out as much as he could safely. And he said to me, if there's a little bit stuck to your ribcage next to your lungs, I'm not going to puncture your lungs and kill you, because that little. Yeah, that little tiny bit is not going to hurt you. He said, the implants will be out. You'll be fine. And then he said, that little bit over time will dissolve. And so at the time, there was a lot of debate going on within that Facebook group that we talked about about capsules being left behind, whether they dissolve or not. And the long of it, I ended up going to that particular surgeon before he rolled me in. The last thing I said before I closed my eyes is, get everything. And the first thing I said when I woke up to him in the or, I remember it plain as day. I said, did you get it all? And he started laughing, and he said, you're good, sweetheart. I got it all. Calm down. Everything's fine. He came into the recovery room, and he showed, like, a little urine specimen cup and held it up, and he said, here's your capsules. And then he quickly put it down. He said everything went great, and he was right. I felt like he was right, that everything went great. And the fact that he got the implants out and about, I'm not kidding, Tracy. It felt like 95% of the things I was suffering from because I was very sick at that point went away. I mean, I had joy. I could hear better. My eyes seemed bright. So I was like, this is incredible. The next day, I went back to see him to get my drains taken out, and he kept telling me to relax. He's like, relax, you're okay now. You're okay now. And I should have known something then, because he looked at me and he said, we just need to take care of this wrinkle in between your eyes. Maybe a little Botox or a little filler would help you. You're too pretty to have that wrinkle. I remember looking at my husband, and it pissed my husband off because he was like. He was like, did this. That man seriously just insult you? And my husband, it's my insecurity. And he's always tells me I never notice it. You're the only one that notices it. So fast forward, I started feeling fabulous. But this new symptom settled in where I started feeling depressed. And at first I thought, well, I'm just detoxing. So I emailed him and told him, you know, my breathing is amazing. My hearing has returned. My brain fog feels better, all this. All this stuff. But I said, I just get this feeling that something's not right. He said, you're perfect. You're fine. You just need to relax. You're just so used to being sick for the last 10 years, you just don't know what to do with feeling good. And at first I was like, huh? There's probably some truth to that, because I was so anxious for so long trying to figure out, connect dots that just didn't make sense. And then women started coming out. I got the surgical report from him. He said he got 96% out and 98% out on the other side and that he cauterized the rest. So virtually there was nothing left. So I would just replay that in my head when I would start going. And I remember I wrote myself a note. Something doesn't feel right. Well, then I started slowly gaining weight, and I thought, well, it's just because I can eat now and I haven't. I was allergic to everything before, so I thought, that's normal. But then my stomach started bloating like I was nine months pregnant, and my clothes stopped fitting. And then I was stopped not in extra smalls anymore. I started buying smalls. I'm like, well, that's not. That's a little snug. And then I went to mediums. And then I'm like, you okay? Something's not right here. Women started coming out, sharing their stories on social media that they had gone to him and had to have subsequent exploratory surgeries, and full capsules were found. So here I am. I'm on. I just been on the doctor's television show. I helped Angie, you know, connect with the surgeon, because, just like you, they left her capsules in, but they told her, we're leaving them in to give you some volume. So I'm helping all these women, and I'm preaching to them the importance of getting their capsules out.

And.

And I really don't really know how much he left in me, but I knew once again, there's a voice in my head telling me something's not right. And, you know, I'm praying, and I hear. Just keep feeling like the Holy Spirit is telling me something's not Right. But how am I going to go to my husband again and my family and say, okay, I know that we just went through hell for 10 years and we thought this was going to be our answer. And it kind of is our answer, but we're not quite there yet. And I just did. I just did. I told my husband, here, look at this. These women are coming forward. They're finding full capsules in these exploratory surgeries. I need to do this. I'm not going to do another 10 years of ignoring this voice in my head. And he was like, do what you got to do, babe. We got to do it. So I went to the best of the best, in my opinion. That was Dr. Rankin in Florida. And he agreed to the reason. I think he's the best, number one, his skill number two. He will videotape and take pictures of what's coming out of you. Because unlike you, the first time, this time I was like, I want to see it. I don't care if you have to go to the back of my brain. I don't care. Wherever it is, I want you to get it out. So I did that about a year and six months ago. And it has been a marked improvement in my health. It was the thing that was keeping me from getting over the line to feeling completely healed.

What were the main symptoms? Obviously before the first explant. I mean, I think there's a list of 40 something symptoms and I had all but four.

Yeah.

What were the most? I mean, physically, outwardly, you definitely looked ill. I didn't. Mine was all internal.

Yeah. I had a facial swelling. My eyes would swell up as if, like a bee stung me. And I was allergic to a bee. I had rashes. I had extreme fatigue. I had horrible brain fog. I was losing my memory. My joints were starting to ache. I was allergic to food, almost all foods started becoming allergic to all medicine. I was just hypersensitive. They started looking at running blood. The 50 vials of blood thing, I think that is if women are standing in a doctor's office or a lab getting multiple vials of blood drawn. There's your sign. I had the same thing. Yeah. They thought I was developing an autoimmune disease and Hashimoto's. So my thyroid's going. They found a precancerous or cancerous tumor in my colon. At 30 years old. If I hadn't had this excruciating pain, I never would have checked and I'd have full blown colon cancer at the age of 30. You don't even start screening for colon cancer until at that age. So, interesting. Off subject, but not really. I'm part of a Harvard study right now. They reached out to me and I just did an interview. There's a group in Canada that is actually researching breast implant illness with Harvard and a couple other universities. And I completed my interview. And she said, talia, I cannot tell you how many women we've talked to that have said the same things that you have said. She's like, it just blows my mind that they're still putting these implants in women and not really warning you guys. And that's why I tell women, do not do your freaking research on a plastic surgeon's website. They're not going to disclose this information to you.

And, you know, I get asked this a lot, like, is everybody going to get this? And the answer is no. Like, not everybody will respond the way that we have. But we didn't respond right away either until life happened and stress came. And so it's like playing Russian roulette.

Absolutely.

With your body. Now both of us will honestly say we get why you would want to and why you have. Or, like, obviously they're beautiful. They look stunning. I mean, even, you know, whatever you choose to do with your body. And I'm all for, like, your body, your choice. And I still, like, stand by that.

Right.

That being said, like, you get one body, and I don't know. I don't know if I would do it again. I want to talk about this because it's hard. You know, it's been four years since I've removed them. I was single at the time. I hadn't dated in a long, long time. And then, like, the thought of that, I was like, oh, my gosh, I haven't been naked with somebody in forever. And, you know, let alone naked and scarred and flat and all the things.

And although I think we talked about this last time, like, feeling hugs are different, and the heartbeat and the intimacy in physical contact with another human being, whether it's just a hug is beautiful. All of a sudden, a lot of those insecurities or thoughts came up for me, and it's hard. I wouldn't ever do it again. Obviously, I don't miss them. Obviously. But they were just a symptom of a deeper coping problem that I had that I have continued to work on for the last four years. Did you experience that, too? Because I know there's some that are out there going to think, like, yeah, I physically want to do this. But then what am I going to.

Be left with, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm still experiencing it. It's still a daily practice to look in the mirror and be grateful that I have a healthy body. Is it exactly what I want it to look like? No. But that in itself is what got me in trouble, you know, And I've traveled the country talking to women, and that is the very thing that got them in trouble is like, okay, I got this. Part of my life is perfect, but every time I look in the mirror, I hate this. And I want it to be perfect. So I'm going to alter it. I'm going to and put the Botox in, the lip fillers, the implants, the tummy tuck, get it all done. And then what? And then what? So for me and for most women that I talk to and I warn them, once you explant, it's not even a warning. It's just setting them up. Realistic expectations. Anytime I go and set up a new doctor, wear, practice, or educate them on a test, I set up realistic expectations or a client in the design business. You tell them, here's what to expect. And there is an emotional roller coaster that comes afterwards. Your clothes do not fit the same anymore. Breasts, depending on what you're left with, may not be as beautiful anymore. I still have scars from my surgeries. And every time I look in the mirror, I have to tell myself not to focus on the scars, but focused on where God has taken me. I screwed up. I knew when I scheduled my surgery to get the implants put in, something told me, this is a really stupid idea, but I did it anyway. I thought I looked sexy. I made me feel confident. But at the same time, you guys, I was still chasing an eating disorder. I had to be a certain weight. If I ate something, I go throw it up, get on the scale. To make sure I was within that zone that I was comfortable with. I was running in the middle of the night when I put my kids to bed around the block multiple times to make sure I stayed at that weight. I was killing myself for a version of perfection. That is just ridiculous. My daughter said to me, now we are renovating our house right now. So some old pictures came out and I thought I looked beautiful in it. It was when I married my husband on the beach in Mexico. And she said, you look so different now. I said, well, babe, you know, it's been a while. It's been 15 years. And she said, no, mommy, you look younger. And they. Both of them were like, you look so much younger now. I'M like, really? And they were like, yeah. I feel like your skin is more vibrant, you're more beautiful. You're so much more calm and centered. I was a freaking train wreck. A train wreck because I wanted to look a certain way because I thought, this is what men like. And so, yes, to answer your question, it is a journey. But if you take it and you have women like you and I, and there's a huge community of women that will help you work through it. I'm in therapy twice a month, and I'm not. I do it because I want to be the best version of myself. I want to walk outside and my number one prayer. When I had implants, Tracy, I would be jealous of people that were running and jogging. I would be jealous of people walking by smoking a cigarette because I could barely breathe. And I'm like, you lucky son of a bitch that you can smoke a cigarette over here. I can barely breathe because I. Asthma came out of the blue for me, and it was debilitating. So when I get down on myself, I have to remind myself I can run four miles now on and off, and breathe the whole time. I can get on my peloton and work out. I can have a full conversation with you and not forget what the word is that I'm trying to tell you that I can think of, but my brain won't let me say it out loud. So there's trade offs.

There's so many trade offs. You know, one of the things that we were talking about earlier was, you know, we're a little bit removed from this journey. And I think I said this on our last episode. Like, when I was being rolled into the er, I was crying not because I was getting my boobs taken out and concerned at all with how I was going to look. That was not the reason for the tears. The reason was this promise I was going to make to God that I was not going to shame this beautiful vessel.

Yeah.

That I was given and I would continue to honor it. And I gotta say, for the most part, for the last four years, I have done that. That being said, when you get removed from it, you get a little bit comfortable and you. You get like, cocky and like, yeah, I can push my body again and it's great. And a lot of some of my old dysfunction started to come back. Now. Am I jamming my fingers down my throat making myself puke? No. Am I having middle of the night binges and all? No. Am I throwing laxatives down? No. But it's this sense of wanting to control, control me when I. Especially when other things are coming up for me. So it's a coping problem that I was like, okay, this is very, very sneaky. And you know, like you said, the emotional journey will never stop. I think as long as we're here on Earth, there's a journey of growth, especially emotionally and how not just you, but your personality and how you respond to things. And you know, thankfully, because of this gift of horrid things that happened with my body, I have never been more intuitive with my body, which is our compass of all things. And so I can catch myself. But it is a journey in self acceptance, honor all the things. How do you get through the really hard days other than, you know, you've got therapy and I've got my tools too. But I'm going to tell you this week, I seriously did not want to have to be as strong as I am. I just wanted to kind of like say fuck it and let me use all the old tools that at least numbed me out for even if it was just five minutes. That instant gratification of I don't want to feel this anymore. And I know that you know this and believe like God equips the called with it. How are you equipped to deal with this today?

It's only him, Traci. It is. And when I get to that place like you, which I do multiple times during my day because I say yes to too many things because I feel like I have a responsibility to be a voice to show up in these areas where I feel like God has called me, but he is also. And I told you this the last time I talked to you, he called me to a season of silence. And I think you went through it too. And when I hear him telling me that again, no. And I try to ignore it, it never works out. But I think you told me too. I called you, I was praying about a situation I was in and God kept telling me to reach out to you. And I was like, you know, it was just random for me to randomly call you and ask you advice about a business deal and situation. And you gave me the absolute best advice. And you were, you were spot on. You first encouraged me to listen to my inner voice that was telling me it was over with. You helped me figure out a situation that was similar to my past that I was running from, very narcissistic type relationship. And I'm saying all this to say it's all intertwined and that's what I want. The people that are Listening to your podcast to understand it all connects in some messy way, but it does. And so it shows up in weird places. And you're like, wait a minute. And I knew you'd be the girlfriend to tell me. And the very second I did what I knew I needed to do and you advised me to do exactly what followed, it was peace. And right behind it was a blessing I didn't even know was coming in a different form than I was expecting. Because we have our plans, we have things written out. I'm going to do this. I'm launching this. This is next, this is next. And sometimes God's going, here she goes again, busy with busy work. And I keep telling her to sit still because I have something else in store for her. And I don't know if I've diverted from your question, but it's just staying in constant connection with him and paying attention to when I lose my peace. I'm not doing the things for first of all, I'm saying yes to too many people. I'm not taking care of myself first. And I think I have to show up for people when sometimes I just need to show up for myself. You know, it's okay just to show up for myself. And if that means I don't want to talk to anybody and I don't want to show up on social media today. And you may have noticed I haven't been on social media lately. I'm doing a huge renovation, which I should be sharing before my design business. But I just keep telling, I hear God telling me, just enjoy the process, be here with your family and just do it. And so as long as I'm obedient to him, I generally keep my peace. And when I don't, then that's when I find myself spiraling.

You know, I think that that's really, really important. Like when we get anxious, we're thinking, so in the future, right? And then this whole journey you'll be fixated on I'm not going to be here or what's going to happen or the what ifs or that real shit. And then we also have, we're getting side whacked by shame back here because of what we've done in the past to do this. And so like we're getting tag teamed by shame and anxiety, and neither of those keep you in the present moment, whether it's with God or with your own body saying, hey lady, yo, I'm over here trying to tell you something and you're just freaking ignoring me left and right. And One of the questions I get asked when I'm interviewed, you know, I get interviewed a lot for, you know, leadership and things like that. And they'll say, you know, what's your greatest success tip? You know, I. It's like, so whatever. But it's never the answer that they think. It's the ability to be completely in the present moment with me, my body with the divine, and not be in the future and not be in the past. Right.

I love that.

And the only reason I can do that today is because of this experience. It humbled my ass, my control, freaking powerful. Enneagram8 Irish Aries ass. Enough. Humbled me to my core. Not just in my own home, but publicly.

Even though a few weeks ago I could feel the squirrely kind of trying to sneak in and the PTSD around my health, you know, because things, you know, I'm at that age where things are changing a little bit, and I literally felt like the anxiety come up, kind of try to come in and say, this is what this is. See, you did this. You did this. All your years of eating disorder. See, you put your freaking implants in. Like, I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are not going here. But I could not do that without this experience. So I know that if you're listening and this might be relevant to you or somebody that you care about, about. It's hard to see the light when you're in the storm.

Oh, yeah.

And not only will you eventually see the light, but you'll see all the reasons why this had to happen. Right? I'm not one of those that everything happens for a reason. I'm not that person. Because you and I have both experienced some heinous, heinous things in our life that were. We were innocent. And it's hard to make sense of that happen for a reason. However, everything that does happen can serve something else. Absolutely beautiful.

That part right there, that's the part.

And I know that although your journey wasn't smooth sailing and you. I mean, you were on the TV talking about it, yet you had this thing where, like, you didn't have it done properly the first time. And I know there's probably some shame involved in that too. We're present enough in your body and kept leaning in to say, okay, this is. This is not okay. This is not okay. And I'm going to do that. One of the things we were talking about is listening to that inner voice. And for those that maybe have gone through this and maybe don't have the immediate results. I mean, honestly, until last year, three years out, I didn't feel over 75%, but I have gotten way more emotionally intelligent and emotionally sober and sound. How would you guide people into and through the roller coaster that this journey is at least emotionally and some things that if they're not sure this is for them or what they need to do, what steps would you have them take?

Well, if they're first trying to decide if ex planning is even for them, tapping into people like Tracy or myself that will show up in the DMs or kind of push you to some women that will help. There's a what I found about this community. Everybody's eager to help because the number one thing we went through, Tracy was like this. I was never hopeless because I had my faith. But you're almost like, all right, God, I guess this is it, you know, like, take me home. So we're all eager to help pull these women that were where we were, up and out. So first of all, there's a community of women that will listen to you. And I think that's important. The first step in starting to heal even before you exit plant is not feeling crazy anymore and not feeling alone. So that's the first thing that I tell women. And then it is a journey. It's from the moment you make that connection and you have to wrestle with that decision. Am I actually going to go through this? Is knowing that and I went right back to what we talked about the beginning of the podcast or maybe it was before. Is paying attention to that voice immediately. And if it's showing up on over that's how I live my life. It continues to show up or even once. Sometimes I'm like, oh God, put that in my path or divine whatever you believe, put that in my path for a reason. And so you just start to process that and pray about it, meditate on it and know that it will be a journey. But anything worth doing is difficult at times, but there is support there and it does get better sometimes. It's the financial component of how am I going to do this? A lot of people aren't fortunate enough to have that kind of money laying around and to go circle back to to you talking about properly explanting, you need to go to someone who's going to give you proof that they've taken those capsules out. And the average cost of explaining properly even without a lift is about between 8 to $12,000. So start saving for that. Start putting that out there. Start Manifesting that that's what you want to do, make that decision. And that's what I tell women. If you make that decision, I promise you, you will find a way to get it done. Promise you you will. There's resources out there. I have women that I work with that I've helped that have offered to help any woman that needs to explain explant. Not any, but there's, there's parameters. Lots of women want to help other women that don't have the financial need to do it. So there are resources out there for those women.

I like what you said about, you know, there's a community of women that like, yeah, like, when you're chasing your tail for two and a half years, you ten like, okay, God, I guess I'm gonna die. But here's the deal. There is a community of women, and if you are in the presence of me and Talia, we will be a voice for you. However, we can't be your advocate necessarily. You have to be your own best advocate. And that means, like she said once, you know, that was the thing with me. Once I knew and it was on my radar, I couldn't not do anything about it.

Yeah.

And I wasn't going to make excuses for why it couldn't happen. And I had a whole shit ton of them, let me tell you. It wasn't necessarily financial reasons, but there was a whole hell of a lot of other reasons. But you have to really be your own best advocate. And I understand, like, it was hard when my brain was all foggy and I couldn't see straight or think straight, but there's something that happens when. When the aha moment happens, all of a sudden it's very clear.

Yep. And I want to point out what you just said. Root cause. You talked about earlier. Root causes. And what I tell women is if, even if you don't think that that's what it is, research what's in breast implants, all implants. There's not a person on this planet that would put them in their mother, their grandmother, their sister, their girlfriend, their wife. They just wouldn't. And we wouldn't put it in our kids. There's not one ingredient in the implants, the shell of all implants, because I had the bullshit safe saline implants and they almost killed me. So root causes. You. When you said when. Regardless of what the doctor said to you, you knew you wanted them out. Good on you. And that's what I want to tell women is get to the root cause of anything in your life. Whether it's you and I talking about our eating disorder, what's the root cause of that, of these symptoms? Do you really think you're ever going to achieve any type of healing no matter what? No matter. You can go to the best doctors in the world, you can get on the best supplements in the world. If you don't remove the root cause of that problem, it's going to keep showing up in different forms. So the longer you hold off accepting that that needs to come out, the more the problem is just going to continue to compound and you're going to have a bigger mess to clean up at the end of it. Because, like you said, some women don't come out of this feeling amazing right away, and they're disappointed and let down. But I think, tell them you really wanted 40 carcinogenic and hormone disruptors and neurotoxins sitting in your precious body.

Really.

It'S one of those things that, like, I knew it was going to be a journey. You know, I knew it was going to be a journey. Did I expect it to be the journey it was? No. Do I regret it for a minute? No. Is it still a roller coaster ride? Yeah. And, you know, I've been having some weird things pop up, and I went right back to that place, and it's like, for the last four years, I've done nothing but really honor the vessel. And, you know, I'm rounding out my 40s, I'll be 50 in less than a year. And it's like, okay, what else can I do that's honoring for the vessel? Where am I? Kind of being a little sloppy or in my old patterns and really with love and compassion, checking myself that, I mean, we're human beings. I had 40 plus years of looking in the mirror and being so critical and so perfectionistic and so controlling of this beautiful, intuitive gift. And the intuition can't do its magic if you're controlling it. So when we really let go and stop white knuckling this, it's not going to be easy. It's not even a little bit. But we have. Thankfully, this has become a mainstream thing. It isn't just a trendy thing to do. It is life saving and life giving. Now, the first step, yes, Is removing the core root. Whether it's an iud, the fillings, the implants, whatever it is in your body that is compromising your immune system from doing what it's here to do. And then know that it's going to take some time for the body to not be in so Much shock to give yourself grace and the information is great, but integrating the whole journey is really where the magic happens. So that not only can you live the life that you're here to live in ways that you may have never expected. I never, ever, ever imagined for a second I'd be talking about my tits on Facebook lives or podcasts or tv, TV or anything like that. But here we are.

Here we are talking about our boobs. I was. I had the same thought at High Point Market the first year. I talked about my talk show and I was like. My producer was like, you just need to talk about it. I'm like, I'm not talking about my boobs here. With all these hoity toity designers and my colleagues not doing it. He's like, yeah, what do you. And then I was like, I went back to my room and my daughter is like, what? Bleep this out if you have kids around? She was like, what the fuck do you care what those people think? Like, mom, just go show up and be yourself. And I don't know why we need reminders sometimes that we just need to be. Because I'm good at what I'm good at and you're great at what you're great at. And when people show up authentically like you do for your. The people that you help coach, the people that listen to your podcast, I mean, that's where the magic is at.

Right?

That's where true friendships form. That's where human connection is. Which is why I think you and I bonded right away. Because we're like, nobody bullshit people. Like, in a social setting, I don't do the small talk. Like, I want to sit down. Yeah. And so I think everything you just said is exactly the truth. It is hard, but it's the most beautiful thing I've ever been through. It really is.

It's definitely made me a better mom to a daughter as well. And I know you have two of your own and the gift that this has given me as a mother, leading the way. And you have 20 somethings as well. Yes. As I do. And this was the greatest gift I gave my daughter. Yeah. Letting her not just see me in our home, but see me take something that's very. I'm a very private person when it comes to this kind of thing. My body and to be afraid, but show up anyway for maybe those that have no idea that in of itself, you know, her looking at herself in the mirror and loving who she is. And she didn't always, you know, she followed my lead. Quite honestly, in a lot of ways. So, you know, mamas out there, you owe it to yourself as a mother to show up for your kids. And my son, I have a son too, who's very aware of, you know, how he'll look at women today based on my experience as well. And it's, it's a gift that you'd never expect in doing this again. I would not trade it for anything. I wouldn't wish it on anybody as well. So you're a huge advocate on helping people with health today. What are some of the things that you're doing? I know people are going to be intrigued by both you and I and our stories and us telling our stories long before it was popular and was an Instagram hashtag.

Right, right. And I'm glad it's an Instagram hashtag, but I'm glad you're doing the educational piece behind it because there's so many people saying, insurance approved me. I'm explaining, I'm like, okay, what do you know about the surgeon? Does he, does he, how many has he done? Is he going to videotape this? How? What proof is he comfortable getting capsules because they can go all the places and get them out. So my whole, I think the beginning of this journey, even prior to when I was trying to figure out why I was so sick, I started removing root causes. It ignited my passion for true health and wellness. And so we live in our house organically, we clean with plant based products. I'm very conscious of what I'm putting in our new home. And so my design business and my medical sales world, I wanted those two to merge. And right now I'm focusing more on. And it's not medical cells. I'm lucky enough to do preventative diagnostics, so I get to represent, cell and educate on tests that help people prevent heart attacks and identify, hey, you're on a path to heart disease and you're going to have a heart attack or a stroke within five years. So right now I am with a company that has a test called the Pulse Cardiac test and it's puls and it stands for a protein unstable lesion signature. So any woman who's had breast implants should get this, this blood test done because it is your, the endothelium, the lining of your arteries in your heart. Its response to inflammation. Well, guess what? We all had inflammation going on. So it's not just for women with breast implant illness. It's for anybody who's 30 and up and we really want to catch it early heart disease starts early, and it shows up most times for the first time as a heart attack in the ER with no symptoms. So this test will tell you definitively it's predictive and it's diagnostic. So it will tell you your likelihood of having a heart attack or stroke within five years, and it will tell you if you have the inflammation. The great news is it's completely reversible with lifestyle modification and sometimes medicine intervention. But mostly it can be modified through changing your habits and the toxins in your home and what you're putting in your body. So that's where I'm focusing right now and will continue to focus is to talk to women especially about importance of heart health, because we ignore it. We get chest pains, we get tingling, we get heartburn, and we think it's stressful. And we need to. We need to know what's going on.

Inside of us, what a gift that this journey has been for both of us, even at the depths of like hell that we were in. You're here helping others, lighting the path for diagnostic and taking personal responsibility for your own health, and I'm over here navigating the emotional wellness that affects all of it as well. I, like, if you had told me 10 years ago, I would go from selling cars and shit to talking about all of this and helping other people. Yeah, the thing, you just never know where life will take you. But you have to be present enough in yourself and in your soul and with the divine to be able to say, ah, that's okay. This makes no sense, but this is where I'm going.

Will you repeat that part? Because that's the most important part, I think, for me is letting go and accepting that it is not typically the path that you were. You thought you were going to go. If you are willing to let go and let God take you where he wants to take you and use you in the ways he wants to use you, I promise you, you will be the one that's rewarded and it will all make sense. So. And that's what you've been doing, showing up. Tracy, I can't tell you how many times I've been in a dark place or. And I just listened to one of your stories because you show up authentically and you don't do the hey, guys. I mean, no offense to those people either, but it's just like you're authentically showing up. And so when I'm having a crap day and I see your beautiful face telling me you started off having a crap day and you're showing up for yourself anyway. I'm like, all right, girl, get your shit together. Sit up straight and get back at it. And that's the important part of this community. And whether it's the breast implant illness community or plugging into podcasts like yours who help people, I mean, you're helping people all over the world figure out their mental part of it and the emotional side of it and how to show up in the healthiest ways in their life. So, yes, to answer your question, it's, it's mind boggling the way this has turned out. And it will continue to twist and turn. I'm, I'm excited to see where God takes us in the future.

I'm here for it. What are some of the top two or three resources people could go to? Because, you know, we don't want to get our information from a plastic surgeon website because they won't tell us what are like the top two or three resources that you could give people today.

So I still believe in the local Facebook groups, but. So the healisreal.org is a chemie Fisher's nonprofit organization. There's a lot of great resources there. And then. Nicolethehealingbreastimplantilness.com I believe it is. I'll let you put it in the notes of the podcast. So again, I cannot stress enough. Don't go to a plastic surgeon. If you look and research and I hear women tell me, well, my third plastic surgeon said breast implant illness is not real. Number one, it's not diagnosable. There's not a diagnosis code for breast implant illness. So you can go get 200 vials of blood done. There's nothing that's going to come back that says you have this. So women, stop spending your money. Don't look for validation from the provider because you probably are not going to get it. We are here to tell you we are the science based evidence that it's a real thing and you get better when it comes out. Is that a journey? Yes. But you should have marked improvement right away.

Yep, absolutely. It's awesome to see you. I know that whenever I talk about this subject, you're the person that I always remember. You lit the path for me without even knowing it at the very, very beginning when I was like, holy shit, this is what's happening to me. And you were the very first face I saw. And I'm sorry. So that was not by accident, you know, because Lord knows there's millions of faces now to this. And I'm grateful you are the very first face that I saw and I know that I've been the first face for many others. And you know, with great reward comes great responsibility and it's, it's an honor to carry this message with you. So I love you so much.

I love you. I can't tell you how much I love you. You're amazing and I appreciate you and I want to tell your listeners you may be at a place right now sitting, going, I can't even imagine being that brave. But I promise you, you may be the, you will be the face for millions of other hundreds of other women that you don't even know aren't hearing the story yet because they need you to tell it. So it's just you're being called to your turn.

So if you got something out of this or you know, somebody that is struggling, it's not always going to be received well. Honestly, I usually wait for the nudge to speak up to, you know, because it is very private thing. But share this episode with somebody. Share it on your social media. If you have questions, you can find either one of us on Instagram. I'm at Tracy_O'. Malley. What's your handle?

It's@taliakaran interiors.com where I tell you, yeah.

We, we definitely know how hard this can be and it's almost like when you know you want to tell the world and yes you can and just be, just be aware that not everybody's going to receive the information very well. So allow yourself to be divinely led in that as well and with love and kindness, without judgment, without fear mongering and things like that. This is a very scary thing for a lot of us to realize that a this is what's making us sick and two that we may have done this to ourself. So please share this. If you loved it, I would love to hear about it. And until next time, I can't wait to see you on the other side.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram @tracyun o'.

Malley.

You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.