EP163: Why Your Message Isn’t Connecting with Your Ideal Clients—and What to Do About It!

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in.

Life by strengthening your emotional intelligence.

Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

So you're doing all of your highly productive scrolling right now and you see all of these people in your niche online selling out their programs effortlessly of course making all of this money online. Meanwhile, you're over here struggling to even get people to sign up for your free stuff and it makes your brain scream what the hell am I doing wrong? And you even in doubt. If you're able to do this, I'm going to show you exactly what you're missing and what you need to start doing to find more of your ideal clients in a way that feels good to you and most importantly, get them excited to buy from you on repeat in my brand new free live training. But here's the deal. I'm not teaching you this all by myself. My best friend, multimillionaire entrepreneur and top business coach and strategist Tiffany Carter and I are going to share our proven techniques plus answer your questions live. Hurry and register as this is the one and only time we are doing this $25,000 training in 2021. We are also giving away over $12,000 in prizes plus just for attending live and staying until the end, you will get our exclusive ideal client magnifier system for free. Swipe up link is in my bio and also at project me with tiffany.com forward/freelive training. Go there now. We'll see you then.

Hey there it is Summer. Summer time and I am recording live from San Diego. It has been a working week and I'm really excited to chat with you because I know in the summertime is when a lot of you kind of take your foot off the gas and I am all about relaxation, honestly. And you know you've heard me talk about balance and how I think it's BS and you know, because one degree of a shift can throw everything off balance and if you are just seeking balance all the time, you're never going to be satisfied. My goal for you in everything that you do is finding harmony as you ride the waves of life. And as I look out at the beach and those waves, and sometimes they're kind of calm and restful and peaceful, and sometimes they're loud and thunderous. And if you aren't careful, you can get swept up in that. And so learning how to ride the waves of life is something that I have found as one of the biggest skill sets I needed to learn in business, in parenting, in friendship and love and all the things. Because it's not always going to be easy and peaceful. And sometimes the most exhilarating things come from the adrenaline and rush of the waves. And if you're adrenaline junkie like me, this led me to really throwing my life in a tailspin sometimes. And, you know, if we think about 2020 and what that has taught us about a lot of things you couldn't hide anymore. Right. Whether it was in your homes, I saw a lot of, you know, relationships break down, a lot of wounds being exposed. A lot of the things that we had swept under the rug, so to speak, you're tripping over it. Right. And not only that, if you throw in, you know, your financial resources and business or your job or whatever that looks like for you, you know, the world has moved to an online space. Pretty much all of 2020, all of businesses were done online unless you were, you know, in the medical field or things like that. And what I have found is a lot of the questions I get are around business, which it always has been, but specifically how to show up. Know, I've been at the online digital marketing space for almost 10 years. Is it my favorite thing? No, absolutely not. In fact, my goal by the time I was 50 was to be completely off social media. And that's not going to happen because this is the way we do business today. And I love what I do. I absolutely love what I do. And in order for me to shine my light and do the work I was called here to do, I have to show up so people know about it. There have been times in my life, life, I've been asked a lot and I love the question, like, why do you show certain things? Why do you show this? Why do you show that? And is it marketing? Yes. But is it relatability and trust and credibility? More so for me, yes. Now, some of the questions I get asked is like, how do you be relevant in such a saturated, busy, inundating space like social media or the online arena? Right. And the way it was a decade ago, it's very different. If I was to build a business today the way I did 10 years ago probably wouldn't work. You know, things like the algorithms and affiliate marketing, like there's so much coming at you and it's gotten really freaking sneaky, right? A lot of this, I like to call it discounted vulnerability or discounted authenticity shows up. And it's very brilliant marketing, right? They know how to speak to your pain point. They know how to say, yes, I need that right now. And although that's good marketing and it makes some sales and things like that, I know if you're listening to me, you don't want to be like that, right? Because it's not sustainable. It doesn't feel good. At the end of the day, especially if you are working on something and do work in the world that you know you were called to do, Watering it down just to get a sale doesn't feel good. And so today I wanted to talk to you about it, you know. Cause there's so much about niche marketing and your avatar and speaking to your ideal client. Now you gotta know who you're helping. You gotta be very clear on that. No doubt about it. And you know, as somebody who has built a couple businesses online in the last decade, you know, when I started to go into the coaching where I was mainly, you know, performance coach specific, not just my network marketing business or my other stuff that I do, it was challenging for me. I'm not gonna lie to you, you know. Cause I know the work that I do can help everyone, right? But if you talk to everyone, you'll help no one. And that was very true. And the funny thing about it is I have been using the Enneagram for a decade. If you've been listening, you know that it was almost 10 years ago that I was introduced to it, integrating it. I integrated it in my family. I used it to build a multimillion dollar network marketing organization. I used it to help build and lead a team over 100,000 people. There's seven millionaires in our organization, five of which are represented by five enneagram types. Not one of them is an eight like me. So I had been using it and I had never really talked about it. And so when I was, you know, promoting my coaching business about five years, four or five years ago, I wasn't clear. And although I know myself, and I was myself, I felt like I was trying to be like one of those marketers, right? The very strategic marketing. And it just didn't feel good. I know I knew who I could help. And so that's when I started talking about the Enneagram for two reasons. A, it was being trendy and not used in integrity. And it pissed me off, quite honestly, because it's such a beautiful tool. So that fired me up. And two, it definitely streamlined me into that. It's kind of the gateway, right? If you've spent any time with me, you know that the Enneagram is just the framework that I use to help you uncover the stuff so that we can get in the. And do the real juicy stuff, the real things that are holding you back. You know, I've got close to a half a million dollars invested in my education, my training, my own mentoring, and the Enneagram is. Is just a piece of it, but it definitely brought. I'm known. I mean, if you guys are listening, you know, when you hear the word Enneagram, who do you think of? You think of me right now. That being said, it's one thing to niche down. It's one thing to know who you help. But where I see a lot of you struggling in talking to and landing your ideal clients and getting them excited to work with you is within yourself. It's one thing to have the marketing down. It's one thing to have the content scheduled and all of that, but where I see so many of you missing the boat. And even for me, when I was kind of floundering in my marketing language, I always had people coming to work with me. I've never struggled with it. It's a good problem to have. And I don't say that to brag or because I'm the worst marketer of all time. My best friend Tiffany, who I'm going to talk to you about in a second here, she has had a digital marketing business in the medical field for 13 years. She's been on the online space teaching business. And she's the best in the business as far as coaching goes for almost four years. And I joke with her all the time, like, I'm the worst marketer of all time. That being said, I know I can solve a lot of problems, right? And how I bridge that gap between being a terrible marketer and a problem solver is how I show up in the world. And this is what I wanted to talk to you today because this is what's holding a lot of you back, is you're watching all these people crush it, or so they say online, and then you try to be them. And I'm not saying you need to be specific, because you do. You do have to be consistent. Absolutely. But. But most importantly, you have to be you. Now, that sounds really freaking easy to say. Right? And I get it. But the fact is, is most of you, if I'm being really honest, and this was me over 10 years ago, I had no idea who the hell I was. I had no idea what the hell I really wanted. I knew I wanted freedom. I knew that I wanted peace. I knew that if I wanted to be somewhere, I wanted to be able to be there. I knew I wanted to be a great mom that was present and soulful and not just. But really present in emotion, not just in body, but in spirit. But as far as who I was, I didn't know. And that required me unpacking a lot of myself and really getting to the root of what motivates me. We could say it's the freedom, the money, the whatever. But if we do the six degrees of separation into what really motivates you. That's why I love the Enneagram. It breaks it down into nine core motives. Now, do we have other things that drive us? Yes, absolutely. But it comes down to we're either driven and motivated by significance, certainty, or truth and justice. And although all of them are important to us, one, if we continue to dig at what is at the root of us, it's one of them. And within those three categories are three subcategories and how that can show up. Things really started to move for me when I showed up as me all the time. And I'm not going to lie, it took removing a lot of masks. And if you have seen me speak on stages before, I've done keynotes in front of tens of thousands of people around, smashing the masks. And this was the key to my success. When everybody was asking, how did you do this? How did you make, you know, zero to a million dollars in two years? It was this. I was consistent. Absolutely. I was passionate. Absolutely. But I was me. And at 40 years old is when I figured out who me is. And you can, too, because this is where a lot of you are struggling online. And I'm watching you. I see you look one way one day, and I don't mean physically. You know, you're using certain kind of language one day, you're using another kind of language another day. It's very confusing. And I can feel the pain in this for you. The grind. I know in certain periods of my life when I tried to be something I wasn't, although I could get it Done. It was so painful and soul sucking. And honestly, it led to a lot of my spiraling out and how I coped with life, you know, otherwise known as drinking a lot, food issues, codependency, you name it, I used it to numb out how hard that was. Not only that, it bankrupts you energetically, completely. When you're switching all these faces and masks and hats, it really energetically bankrupts you. And then those very things that you want, like freedom and peace and presence and all of that, you got nothing left in the tank to do that.

You would think that being yourself would be the easiest part of all of this, but along the way, you were put into environments and situations and learned coping mechanisms to stay significant, certain or safe. And, you know, you throw a couple decades on top of that, and unpacking that seems like a huge chore. And it doesn't have to be, I promise you. I was 40 when I started this process, and like I said, For 10 years, I've been living mask free. Now, that doesn't mean it doesn't sneak in from time to time, because, you know, I have fears just like everybody else. But I know for you, you want your business to be thriving online. It's where, where it's going. You can resist it all you want, but I'm resisting it too. But it is the future, and we have to be innovative in how we show up so that our gifts and our calling can help the people that we want to help. And so finding your ideal client starts with finding that ideal part of you that, without fail, you show up with in your personal life and in your professional life. If you have met me before, how I show up online and how I am in person is pretty much the same. Now, how that gets expressed sometimes can change. The messaging and the delivery of it sometimes can change, depending on who I'm talking to. But I am me to the core. And so since I'm not switching out masks and hats and all the things all the time, I'm able to navigate three businesses, two children, a household, three dogs, friendships, relationships, all the things, and still have a lot of gas in the tank at 50 years old. That doesn't just happen, but because I show up as me all the time, that leaves energy. The other thing that this does is it. It builds credibility and trust. How many of you have met somebody that you saw online and they're a completely different person? That pisses me off. I can't stand it. Now, do I judge them? No, because I get the whole online space. But I also won't work with them. I want somebody that has nothing to hide, that is them all the time. And I'm not judging them for that because Lord knows, 10 years ago, I was that person. But that's just not somebody where my trust will go or my money will go. People want to know when shit hits the fan that you are who you say you are, that you can actually walk what you talk. And, you know, showing up as you all the time does build credibility and trust. It absolutely does. So even though, you know, four or five years ago, when I was talking about my coaching and all of that and it was messy marketing, I like to call it very messy marketing. And I pivoted how that message got portrayed a lot because I was always me and I had built credibility and trust and being like, this is the mess. I am just a hot mess. But I'm passionate about helping you and solving the problems in your life and really walking alongside you in that journey. And so no matter how messy my marketing was, I could land my ideal clients all day long. And I want to help you do that too. So we use the framework of the Enneagram to help you uncover you, and it provides this roadmap to your soul. That's what I love about it. It's why I'm so passionate about teaching it. Not just the information, but the integration of it. Because the information's great. But if you don't know what to do with this, it's just a real cool party game. And I'm not about that. You know, I'm a bottom line me kind of girl. Anything that I'm learning, it's like, okay, what? How is this going to help me help you? Or how is it going to help me help me? Right? And the framework of the Enneagram really helps you be you unapologetically. And I know that word gets thrown around. And even when you find yourself in the dark side of your Enneagram type, you can honor it and love it with so much compassion and empathy. And that energy doesn't lie when you are giving that to yourself, when you are looking at yourself in the mirror, even when it isn't the prettiest, right, you can have compassion and empathy for yourself. And when you can give that to yourself, you can freely give that to other people. So this is what I want to do for you. And it's so funny. This is real life. I had to hit pause because I am remote location and two huge garbage trucks just went by. I love this. This is the Beauty about building an online business. You can do this from anywhere, and I want that for you. In order to do that, you have to be able to work with people, right? And so you have two options in really unpacking who you are so that you can speak to your ideal client. And I know those of you listening, some of you have already worked with me, and I appreciate you so much. And if you are one of those people that has benefited from the work we have done together, I would love if you shared this podcast with somebody who really needs to hear it, who is sick and tired of feeling like they're throwing a bunch of crap up at the wall and hoping something sticks. It would mean the world to me if you have found you in this podcast that you leave a review. It's how we get the word out. I'm not good about asking for things at all, so that would mean a lot to me. But for those of you that are, yes, like, this is resonating with you. You're like, yes, I am really tired of feeling like I'm putting on the fake masks and trying to be something I'm not. I see you and I know this about you. You have two options. You can go to my website, Tracey O' Malley.com and hit work with me. And you can do an Enneagram typing session. You can do an Enneagram experience, or if you want to go, you're done and you want to take the deep dive. This is like a master's program here. You don't pay me to coddle you. You pay me to really help you solve the problems in your life. Then fill out a one on one application. Now, if you're not sure you've been listening to me, or maybe this is the first time you're hearing me, but you're like, yes, this chick knows what she's talking about. My bestie, Tiffany, who's an enneagram6 and I am an enneagram8. She is, like I said, a digital marketing genius. She is a strategist, the best. The one that I trust with all the things, all business things, I trust her fully with. And I am the master at uncovering the blocks that are holding you back so that you can attract your ideal clients, so that you can show up as you. And it feels really freaking good. And the people are excited to hand over their money to you. And we are doing a training together because what we have found is people usually pick one or the other, the internal work or the strategy, trying to avoid the other. And the fact of the matter is, is no matter how far or how high up you go in business and how high up your bank account gets, the work continues, not just strategically, but internally. And so we're bringing the best of both to you together to help you uncover this stuff and help you find your ideal clients and help you help them and get them exc about saying, you know what? You're the one to take me on this journey. So we are doing a free live training just this week. You do not want to wait. Is tomorrow. It is tomorrow. So when you're listening to this, it is starting tomorrow and it's not too late. We have a limited amount of spots because we're doing it on zoom and we want to be able to help you in this 90 minutes. You will be able to walk away. If you take all these action items that we're going to talk about, you can absolutely take it and run with it it. And we want that for you. We see so many. We usually get people to work with us after they've spent a lot of money somewhere else with broken promises and all that very savvy marketing we just talked about earlier. And we're tired of it. We're tired of it for you. We know that you get a little PTSD around that stuff. So that's why we're doing this for free. Corporations and organizations would absolutely pay us both 25 grand to do this kind of training. There's going to be a live Q and A. You'll definitely want to live and am present for that. And if you can't be on it live, you'll have access to the recording for a period of time. We're giving away $12,000 in giveaways and prizes. Unreal. And both of us are recovering codependents. So we are over givers, over deliverers. We see things and instinctually know things that most people don't. Not just in business, but in the things that really make us tick. And so we're excited to bring that to you. It is free, free, free. Tomorrow July 14th. Like I said, if you can't be on it live, still sign up to get the recording, you will not be sorry you invested 90 minutes. We will give you everything we've got. I promise you that. And how you go to that is you go to projectmewithtiffany.com freelive training. Get on the list. It's probably by the time that you hear this, it's probably really close to being full, but we don't want you to miss out. We will give you what you are looking for and it's going to be something different than you're used to seeing and hearing for sure. It would be an honor for us to serve you and to light the path for you where it can kind of seem so dark and alone even in this very highly engaging social media land. I know for myself, even though there's, there's a plethora of people all around all the time in this space, it can feel very alone and like nobody freaking gets it. And finding Tiffany and her finding me was a great gift so that we could definitely bring this stuff to you so that it can make the difference in your life that you really, really want again. Go to projectmewithtiffany.com freelive training so that we can help you bring your calling and your gifts to the world and that you can feel really great about it. So you can energetically have so much in the tank to continue your calling and have enough left so that the people that you're doing all of this for to have the freedom to have the presence in their lives that you still have enough left to give the very best of you all around the table. It's something that when I'm asked about what I feel success is, it's that the ability to be present not just in body, but in spirit with anyone and everyone in front of me at that very moment. Because that's all we have. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, yesterday we can't get back. But helping you connect the dots on why you show up the way you do or don't show up is something that I'm passionate about. And my goal with every single person I lead or love is to help you become the ultimate leader in your life. So I look forward to seeing you again. Go to projectmewithtiffani.com freelivetraining we are looking so forward to seeing you there.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

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