EP174: Our Kids and the Enneagram—From the Mouths of Babes and an Enneagram 3 with Kristina

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships, to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Hello, you guys. This is going to be a very, very powerful episode. I know that I have a lot of moms and dads out there that listen, and one of the number one questions I get is about parenting and the Enneagram, especially parenting, like teenagers and what that looks like. And also dealing with blended family situation. I mean, I think it's 51% of people end up divorced and, you know, remarriages happen and blending families and children and it can bring a whole set of challenges. And today's guest, I gotta be really, really honest, hands down, one of my all time favorite clients. And she is only 18 years old and for graduation, her mom got her coaching with yours truly. She did the typing session plus the whole Enneagram with me. I was like, wow. First of all, I took huge, like responsibility that a mother would trust her beautiful, beautiful daughter with me not knowing what we would talk about. It was just me and her, not mom on it or anything like that. The fact that she trusted me with her daughter, who by the way has come to me coaching wise, well versed in the Enneagram more than anybody else I've ever worked with. At the age of 18, she knew the framework. She knew all of it. She was actually right on target with what type she was, which is very rare. And this speaks volumes to how beautiful it can be when you start integrating this earlier in your life and really having this level of emotional intelligence, whether you're just learning it like I did at 40 years old or beyond, or you have young adults and millennials and Gen Z's in your life that are being gifted with this beautiful tool. But really helping her integrate this in her life has been powerful. She left for Duke University.

We definitely did this on purpose. We did some of her sessions before leaving for college and we have some reserved for the transition process and being away from family and that whole Dynamic, my dear Christina is an enneagram3, which you guys know, is the competitive achiever. And she embodies that. She really, really does. She's a go getter, makes things happen, can succeed in anything she does. But also, we all want to be like the. We all want to be like you, Christina, because you guys make it look so effortless. And through our understanding and our work together, uncovering the crazy that can be part of being a three, and the things that fall through the cracks as a three and the things that kind of slow our pace down, whether it's a health crisis or, you know, family dynamics or other people that don't operate like you and you getting frustrated with that. So we're going to touch into all of this. You guys are in for a treat. Whether you are a young adult or a parent to young adults, which I know a big part of my audience is because this is the question I get all the time. And this beautiful, articulate, amazing, powerful, beautiful, full of grace young woman. Christina, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much. I'm just so excited to be here because I've been listening to your podcast for a long time. So it feels crazy that I'm actually on the podcast. And also, I just. I've loved our time together. It's been amazing so far. So thank you for having me and for teaching me just so much.

We're all so blessed that you agreed to this. And it was a no brainer. I was like, will you please be on? Because there is so much that you are going to help so many with. And, you know, I've shared with you, you know, very transparently, like, you're helping me be an even better mom to my kids who are in their, you know, 20s, just by listening to you and really pausing even more to ask better questions and keeping my mouth shut. Right. So did you find me first or did your mom find me first? And how did that whole thing come about?

So, yes, my mom actually did find you first. So she knew that I was obsessed with the Enneagram and I had been doing. I had gone to typing workshops. I've done a lot of research on my own, just sort of learning about it with her. And she, I think you were featured on a podcast she was listening to. And she said, oh, my goodness, Christina, you have to check out Tracy's podcast because you're just gonna obsess over it and be completely, like, at home. Like, you're gonna love talking about the Enneagram or hearing her talk about the Enneagram and she was definitely right. So that's how I found you. And she found you as well.

That's so awesome. And so how does this end up being, like, a graduation gift for you that parents out there? This is a great graduation gift, by the way.

Yes, I definitely agree. Best gift I could have asked for. So she definitely. My mom is a six. And so she. Obviously, when your kid is going away to college for the first time, you have all of these thoughts flitting around in your mind, like, what can I do to, you know, make this as good of an experience as possible? And I think she had seen me through high school, kind of have difficulties with, like, high school and just balancing everything. And she knew that I loved the Enneagram, so I would be receptive to someone who would help me sort of navigate difficulties in life or changes or, you know, new periods of life while integrating the Enneagram. She kind of knew that would be a language I would understand and really be enthusiastic about learning. So she kind of was. She would hear at the beginning or end of your podcast, like, there are this many spots left, or, now I have a wait list. And so she started watching it, and then she got us both on, I think, either the waitlist or whatever the process was. And so that's how it happened.

And, you know, knowing what I know about Enneagram Sixes, and you know this, too, like, this was as much for her as it was for you to, you know, because, you know the Enneagram Sixes. I know them very well. My closest friend is an enneagram6, and we love them very, very much. She's your person, too, your mom. Right. And their need for certainty. For people like you and me who are more assertive, just go after it. Don't think about consequences all the time. That can really disrupt and rattle us, Six, whether it's your best friend or your mom. And so I think your mom knew that you would be receptive to this. And also this might give mom some guidance on how to not hold you back with her own need for certainty. Right. Even though mom. Your mom's a tough lady. She's amazing and very strong in all the beautiful ways, but she also recognizes how different you are and how you operate from different things. So I know that you came into this situation. You were spot on with your type. Most people are not. Why do you think it's important for people to be typed properly first and foremost?

So I actually, before my typing session, I had taken probably any Enneagram test. They made because I just, you know, you get all these different answers and I think I. Some of my results were 1, 8, 6, 3. And just any number would.

Which I can see all of those behaviors for you for sure.

Behaviorally, yeah, but motivation, definitely not. So if you don't know your type, the Enneagram, you're not going to connect with the Enneagram and you're not going to be able to use it, especially for the growth and stress numbers. Because ideally, you don't want to stay in that, you know, main personality. Like, everyone knows I'm a three, but I don't want to stay in that three. Ideally, I want to move to that growth number, that six. And if you don't identify with that growth number, you're never going to be able to get there. So that's a really, really important reason for.

Oh my gosh. See, this is why you are the most well versed, beautiful person to have on this episode. Because I talk about it all the time. Like our core type, we can do it in our sleep. We don't even have to think about it. But in order to go to our growth number, we can't rely on just our type of alone. Your three ness will never slow down, ever by choice to lean into your growth number, which is the six. And understanding how to lean into your wings in order to push you into growth because you can't do it like a three left to their own free will will never slow down. Same thing with my 8. Slow. I will never lean into compassion and empathy naturally by itself. Right. And so like you said, using the framework and having the correct type in order for all this to work is super powerful. So for those of you that don't know all These online assessments, 65 to 70% of the time they are inaccurate. And you just heard her, she's taken several and all these different results. And I'm so grateful you landed on knowing the three, because what we have been able to uncover in our time together in all your three ness has been game changing. What was your first aha moment? Even though you kind of knew what you were working with more than most after our first session together, what was your first big aha moment in understanding you as an enneagram3?

So I guess my first aha moment after our session, it was when I was dealing with someone else.

And so my stepdad is a type 9 and obviously they're the peacemaker. They want to avoid conflict at all costs. Well, I was just, I was fighting with my brother in the Car and just, you know, I think he's more of an assertive type. So for us, we're just like, that's great. We're fine fighting. But then I had this aha moment. We got back, and I just realized, oh, my gosh, I just put a nine through his worst nightmare. I didn't even think about it because I'm just so fast moving that I didn't even stop to think about it. And so I guess maybe it wasn't as much about being a. I guess, yeah, it's sort of about being a three, but also how three is how.

People might receive a three.

Yes, exactly. Because that was not my intention to make him on edge. But it doesn't matter what your. What happened.

So I love that you brought that up because I. Because people come to me, especially moms, like, want to understand their children. I'm like, well, your first line of responsibility is understanding not only you and your type, but how others might receive you. You have to take personal responsibility, just like beautiful Christina has. And understanding, like, oh, my gosh, like, when you lead or love people, like, you want to be effective and considerate doesn't mean you don't dim who you are. But being mindful of how this might affect other people. Right. And her understanding her stepfather being a nine, like, oh, my gosh, his, you know, cortisol probably shot right up listening to you and your brother. Now, that being said, Christina is the oldest of four. She and her brother are from her mom and her dad's first marriage. Right. Right. When they were married. And her two sisters come from her stepfather's first marriage. So it's a blended family. You're all within about four or five years of each other, too. Right. So it's all teenagers, and she's the oldest. But one of the biggest things that I think was so powerful in even our first typing session, before we even dove into it, you were telling me the conflict that you were having with your stepfather. And he's amazing, and him and your mom are great together, and you love your siblings. Like, there's no, like, anything bad going on. But you noticed your resistance to taking maybe even some direction from your stepdad and how I kind of let you know maybe what that was about. What was the thing with that that you really have embraced about understanding and where your resistance might have come with your stepdad.

So I think a lot of that relationship, that dynamic between, like, trying to be a good daughter, because, of course, three is what we want to be perfect at. Whatever we do So I was trying to be, like, the perfect daughter, the perfect stepdaughter, whatever. But I think I was using a lot of that nine, that unhealthy number. But then also my two wing. And so I was trying to be, like. Exactly. Even with my dad and Mike, my stepdad. Like, I was trying to, you know, make sure. Watch every move, make sure it's what they want from me, like, trying to figure that out. And I wasn't sort of just letting my relationship be authentic. It was like, almost like keeping score. Keeping score or. Exactly. So. And I didn't even really realized why I was doing that. I didn't really understand that my dad and my stepdad, a nine and an eight, they're very different.

Very.

Yes. And they have a very different presence. But I just. I realized, you know, I didn't want to upset my dad by leaning into my relationship with Mike and sort of a little bit vice versa. And so that was the reason for that dynamic. And then I also realized that both of those types, they can feel when I'm doing that because they both have. They're both led by their gut. And so an 8 especially can sniff that out a mile away.

Yeah, we can.

Yeah. So just sort of understanding that definitely changed my relationship with both because I was able to sort of be that more decisive person that an eight respects and not be like, oh, I'm in my two wing, and I'm trying to figure out exactly what they want. They want you to make a decision, and they respect that, even if it doesn't align with what they would have decided. And then the same with the nine. Just listening to his wisdom and letting him be that calm presence in my life that I need.

So, yeah, what I noticed with you when, like, I could see the light bulb go off for you in understanding that, like, you were keeping score. Like, if I pay attention and have conversation with Mike, I have to equally do that with my dad. And that pressure of a three of being the best, like you said, the best daughter, the best stepdaughter. And that in turn, when a three is in that being the best at whatever they choose to do, which you guys are naturally. But that comes with a dark side to you, and it's exhausting. And resentment builds, and you can burn out your body. You can burn out your relationships. So when you were freed up, like, I could see you exhale, like, when you understood kind of what you were doing with that, so subconsciously and realizing that, like, you didn't want to upset dad because you thought dad would be upset by that. You didn't want to, like, you know, give Mike this because, like, that would be betrayal to your dad. Like, you weren't even really super conscious of all that. But when you recognized this is the power of this framework, like you said, and very good insight. Recognizing I'm in my unhealthy stress nine as well as my maybe unhealthier part of my two wing. Right. And the freedom that I saw in you, not just energetically, but also the beautiful gifts you could get from both your dad and stepdad. Because it wasn't this, you know, scorekeeping game. You could actually be present in these relationships without worrying, like, if I'm this for this, I gotta be this for this. And you're missing the whole miracle in the wisdom both these beautiful men in your life could provide. How has it changed your relationships now with both of your dads?

So with my dad, I feel like my changing my mindset and maybe my actions as well, it sort of let him be able to be in his growth number the two just being very kind and so funny and just very fun and loving and light hearted. And I think sometimes eights can get very, like, protective of themselves and others, but sort of. So he. It's changed the way he's acted as well. But then also just the fact that I can appreciate what each of them are doing more as well. So I understood, like, for an 8 to just call me and say, I found your favorite drink at the store and I love you. Like, that's huge.

Huge. For an eight.

Threes, maybe, you know, we're heart centered, so it's a little different. But understanding that, like the power of that. And then also just understanding. Yeah, my stepdad also just understanding how much he was trying to help me, like, have that inner peace that a nine wants so much. Like, that's the biggest gift they could give you. And, you know, they want that so badly for themselves to try to help you achieve that on your own.

Yeah. And the beautiful thing that a lot of people don't know, and I'm not even sure how much you know about this, like, just because your stress number is nine and you can take on those unhealthier traits, you actually have the ability to lean into the gifts of the nine as well. Right. And like, that's the holy grail. When you can embody even the gifts of our stress number, like, that is beautiful. And the fact that your stepdad is. That makes it all that much better. Now let's talk about mom for A second mom is a Six and she's an entrepreneur. She's a baller. Mom's a baller for sure. And your growth number is six. But sometimes, you know, we resist our growth number. It's not a natural go to for us. So I can imagine, even though you and mom have a great relationship, that there has been some head butting that's been in your journey. I mean, as mothers and daughters, it's kind of what happens anyway as you are growing into your womanhood and figuring life out. And especially because you're very differently wired. So where did you guys struggle before and what has understanding the integration of the Enneagram done for your relationship for both of you? Because she's, you know, she's become well versed in this as well.

So before I feel like I just didn't understand the extent of how much Sixes need to be prepared and have a million backup plans and talk in their head. I sort of didn't understand that as much. And so sometimes when she would come to me saying like, have you thought of this? Did you do this? You know, in a very loving way, like, she wants me to be prepared and she wants me to have that same certainty that Sixes crave. But to me, it was like a presentation of to do list. Like, oh, no, I have to do all this. And for three, that can almost send you into like the nine. Okay, now I'm just not going to do anything but just sort of understanding where that comes from. And then she also. I don't remember what exactly we were talking about one night after we. We were just having a conversation about the Enneagram and we actually talk about it a lot. So it's been amazing. My mom and I have definitely bonded over the Enneagram, but I was saying something about, I don't know, maybe like a plan I had or a club I was going to get involved in. And she, she was like, well, why would you do that? You're not going to have time. And I was like, well, yes, but do you see how many like, atta girls. This is gonna get.

My recognition. Like, that's what I want so badly. And she. Huh. Like, I, like, from my point of view, I don't understand that because that's not how my brain works, but because I understand the framework of the Enneagram. Okay. Like, I see your.

Makes sense.

And so instead of kind of not understanding each other's different approaches, we sort of. We have that understanding now more. And we can, you know, use both things from Each other because like you said, you can use your stress number for good things. So, like, the three is her stress number. So she can use some things from me, but then I can also learn just so much.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah.

You know, it's funny I was telling you earlier, my best friend is a hardcore six and she's wired like your mom. Like, she's a baller too. And I had to have this conversation with her early on in our relationship because their need for certainty, they can almost come at you like you were just saying, like, with this fire hose version of questioning. And it's their need for certainty. But for a three and an eight, like I am for you, that can feel like you don't believe that they don't believe that you have things under control. And like, you're going to be great at this. It's almost like you're doubting that I'm going to be great at this. Right. That's how we can take it. And with my friend, I told her, I said, you need to understand that I go in high alert when the fire hosing comes. The fire hose of questions come because the eight and me is like, don't you think I'm powerful enough to handle all of this? I've handled everything my whole life. And so really articulating with my six and you with yours. You just need to know where my nervous system is going to go when you need this certainty. I'm here for it. But if I am a little defensive, that's what it's about. And really having this framework and dialogue to understand each other. You and I are never going to be wired like those crazy sixes of ours ever. But we can have compassion and understanding and patience when their line of questioning is slowing our role a little bit. Right?

Yes. And we can actually appreciate that they're trying to slow our.

They keep us out of a lot of trouble if we're thinking about it.

Oh, my goodness, yes. Like, they. Because we're so action right now and they really, really need to think things through first. And to us, that can just seem almost foreign and strange, like, okay, we need to just do it.

And annoying.

Yes, and annoying. But they truly have the best interest, the best in mind because they are so loyal and loving.

They're great strategists. They have things that they see that we don't, but we also make them take action and not get stuck in the troubleshooting. So it's a beautiful compliment when we can respect each other's kind of motives. Our fears and all of that. So, that being said, you are now at Duke University. You've been there, what, two weeks now?

Yes, two weeks.

And so as the oldest child, as a three, I mean, you're kind of far from home, right? You grew up in Indiana, and now you're on the East Coast. It's a time change a few states away. Like, for you. I know that, like, the whole drive to get there, this was a dream of yours. It was important to you to go to Duke. But the reality of being on your own for the first time, how have you use the Enneagram to navigate the fear, the stress, the excitement over this huge, huge, huge moment in your life?

Yeah, it's been just so, so important to have an awareness. I think where I was a year ago, I really don't think I would have been ready for this big of a transition. But because I do know about the Enneagram and I can integrate it, it's really, really helped me. Even though it's not always the easiest adjusting to college, it's made things a lot easier. And I think part of that is definitely because of my wings. So my two wing, a lot of times I feel like I would use it sort of more in an unhealthy way before, but I feel like this transition has really helped me to use my two wing in the best way. Like, just really, really focusing on relationships. Whereas normally threes, oh, my goodness, we'll bulldoze anything if it means that we will get to a goal faster. And, like, I missed out on a lot in high school, like, being with friends and everything and, you know, having a good friend group, whatever. I missed out on a lot of that because I just wanted to bulldoze through and achieve my goal. And. But I'm really aware of that now and aware of my tendencies. And so I've really, really made a conscious effort, you know, to spend more time with people and to not just abandon everything for a goal. Like, goals are really, really important, and that's never going to be something that I don't value because I'm a three. But, you know, having that two wing to ground me and say, okay, like, these are people we're dealing with. We're trying to slow down and appreciate them and really connect with them. So that's been really helpful. And then my four wing, definitely just, you know, I'm on my own. And.

The individualist, like, what better of a wing to have right now because I am on my own and being able to explore, you know, who you.

Are without being in the family unit every day.

Exactly. And also just I've used my four wing a lot so far because, oh, my goodness, when you come to Duke, everyone is like, pre law or pre med, and they just know, like, great. And for a three, that can be really hard to not go that direction because that is what everyone, you know, praise you for. And you get all those atta girls. And the threes are like, yes, this is great.

It's like your crack.

Yeah. But kind of using my 4 Wing to say, okay, like, yes, I know these are going to get me all the points. And like, it's okay if I do decide to follow one of those paths, but following that path because it's something that's truly what I want and not caring as much about the external, you know, recognition and really focusing on what am I passionate about and how can I pursue that in the best way. So I think those wings have been so powerful, girl.

And I have a lot of threes that listen and, you know, it is hard for a three to slow down and not be driven by the end goal, the atta girls, the recognition. But as maybe not because you're young and you figured this out way earlier than most of the people listening right now that are threes. I love that you're on, so you can really help. And we'll talk more about the wings in a second because I think it's four threes probably more than any other type. Eights and threes really need their wings probably more than any other type, because left to our own three and eightness, we can be wrecking balls in our life. And we miss the miracles, like you said, and miss the connection and the intimacy in our lives. Not only that, what I see for a lot of threes is they're so focused on the end goal and they'll always achieve it, no doubt about it. But when they get there, they don't take time to celebrate themselves, the experience, the joy. And they look around and they realize that they have lost some things that were really important to them along the way, including relationships and their health sometimes. Right? So that being said, a three by itself will never, ever slow down. So I know you talked about using the wings and how you use them today. How do you use specifically that 2 and that 4 to push you to your growth number? Because we will never go to our growth number just with our main type. And I need my wings a thousand percent to get to the healthy two of me. How do you use the two and the four? Wings, specifically to push you into that healthy six of yours.

So I feel like threes, as you said before, were known to be very competitive. And that's something that actually, my wings have helped me sort of realize the value of collaboration. So having that wing, and I know sixes are very collaborative, and so that, you know, using my 2 Wing to connect more with people and focus more on just appreciating people has definitely brought me to that six. So that's definitely been a big, big part of it.

That is huge. And not only that, like, what I see with threes, because if it's to be, it's up to me, right? That's where eights and threes can be similar, obviously for different motives. But when you do lean into that collaborative, connecting people part of you, it frees up your energy for you to do. Lean into your four wing and say, what? What does Christina want to do? What do I actually want to do? Because you have support. Maybe not in the same way as you do. Right. But this collaborative effort allows you to kind of really figure out what it is you desire and want for your life. And I think you are a beautiful example of what that looks like, even at 18 years old, y', all, like, seriously, she's going to be our greatest teacher. Seriously. Thank you for that. What are the blind spots that maybe you were unaware of before that understanding the enneagram and the framework of it allows you? You're always going to have blind spots. I say this all the time. Every enneagram type will always kind of have to check it before they wreck it. And, you know, for you, it's like bulldozing, abandoning relationships, abandoning your health, you know, all the things. What are the blind spots that maybe you were totally oblivious to before that you're hyper aware of now? And how do you navigate those with grace and compassion for yourself instead of beating yourself up for it?

I feel like one of the main blind spots that we did, we have talked about a lot is just the fact that since threes are so driven by recognition, being seen as successful, we have a tendency to just do whatever gets us those points. Like everyone. That's what we want. But I think having that awareness that we are always going to have the instinct to do that, we then can kind of run it through a filter, like, okay, so do I really like this, what I'm doing? Am I really passionate about it? Is this really fulfilling me? Because you can achieve all the goals you want and still not be fulfilled if you're not going towards what you're passionate about. And so really, really just understanding your motivation for doing something that's been really important. And I feel like also another blind spot of the three is I don't. We really do not do well with, like, middle ground. Like, we're very straight. Like, we're either killing it super productive all the time and take no breaks, or we're just, like, watching Netflix.

Yeah, horizontal watching Netflix.

Exactly. So just kind of understanding, like, okay, that's going to be my tendency. We need to bring it to a middle ground so that either I don't burn out and I'm not exhausted mentally and physically. So just kind of having that awareness that I'm sort of bad with, like, the extremes. And so that way, like you said, you can check yourself, like, okay, what direction are we headed in? And, okay, do I need to just take a break? Do I need to just go on a walk right now?

One of the things I told you, and I think I told your mom, too, like, if you love or lead A3, you're never going to know when they're horizontal watching Netflix. Like, it's not like they're going to say, I'm struggling. You will never know it. You will never hear it, and they will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you don't. Yet they are shaming them themselves as they're horizontal. And so if you are somebody who loves or leads a three, being mindful, if they are MIA for any length of time, be very compassionate in how you approach them because they will not admit that they're struggling naturally because they want to, in your eyes, look like they're great all the time. Right. So being very compassionate and empathetic to, okay, they're. They're burning themselves out or they're doing a bunch of things that they don't really want to do. And now they're kind of in this cycle and don't know how to get out of it. And for those of you that are threes, really using this as a compass and understanding, it's okay to take a break, but knowing that you're taking a break because you are depleted and you're done is a big difference. It's same thing with an eight. Like, am I in solitude or am I isolating in my unhealthiness? Right. And you have to be able to be radically honest with yourself and also have a few key people in your life where you can say, like, my warning lights are on. I'm about to fly over the cliff here, and I'm just saying this so you can help hold me accountable with love. Because you gotta. You gotta use some very compassionate gloves with a three, because they will deceive you. Not intentionally, but they will front that they're fine. Fine. Feelings inside, not expressed. Like threes can be masterful with that. So for those of you that think a three always has it together and you don't ever have to worry about them. Trust me, you do. They won't admit it, but lovingly, gently, really let them know that you're there to support without any judgment and that they don't have to do anything to earn that from you. Like, that'll be really, really big. So, my dear, you are so smart and so wise and so emotionally intelligent and beautiful. Why do you think other people should really learn, not just their type, but, you know, the toolbox of the integration? Because that's where the magic happens. It's one thing to just know our type, and if we do, that's a cool party discussion. Right. It's awesome for that. Cool memes. But, you know, you have articulated how this has empowered you and helped you really step into challenging things in your life with blended families, with going off on your own, with all the things. Why do you think somebody listening right now should really lean into something like this?

I think that you just. You owe it to yourself and you also really, really owe it to others around you. I think something that I've become a lot more conscious of during this time is just sort of my position and my different relationships that I have and sort of knowing how to show up the best that I can for other people. Because obviously it's so, so, so important to know more about yourself and know that framework for yourself. And that's a key thing as well. Just like you said, knowing your warning lights and knowing when you're doing well and being able to understand yourself and also not beat yourself up when you're not doing the best. That's a really important part of it. And then it's also just. It's honestly really changed my family dynamic in the best way. And I just think that's something that's so important, and you don't get back that time with those people. And so just, you know, starting as soon as possible to start showing up in the best way for those people. It's so rewarding for you, and it makes everyone else just so happy too.

Yeah. And it's really allowing you to be your most authentic self. Like, in no part of this did we say, well, you need to Change who you are in order to be more cohesive in your interpersonal relationships. Not once. It was more like, how can I be completely, completely who I am and still be the very best and honoring for my process as well as being more effective in my relationships? And that for me, not just myself personally, but the thousands and thousands and thousands of you that I have helped. Not just being typed properly, but also how to use this beautiful tool for yourself and the compound effect it has on all areas of your life. Your health, your spiritual health, your relationships, your work life, your school life for you. And you know, I don't believe in balance. And you know you're Talking to a 3 and 8 who don't really thrive. We kind of like when things get exciting, and so we can push the envelope a little bit. But being able to find harmony, no matter what type you are, finding a harmonious flow with all aspects of your life without. Without being something you're not is one of the greatest gifts that this can bring. And if you are somebody who loves or leads beautiful kids like Christina or you run an organization, when you can empower the people that you love and lead to be the best version of who they are, not who you necessarily think they should be.

Everything becomes a lot more harmonious. My dear, I am so proud of you. I cannot wait to catch up in our next session and hearing how you've really navigated the first few weeks of this huge change in your life that is so exciting, yet can be very, very scary. Thank you for blessing all of us with your heart, your wisdom, your transparency. Seriously, you're amazing.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

You're awesome. And for those of you listening that are like, okay, I'm tired of trying to figure this crap out on my own. I feel like I'm kicking the can down the street. Or if you're a mama or a dad out there and you are listening to her and you're like, oh, my gosh, I need this in my life, in my family's life. Do not hesitate to reach out to me. I can talk about this 24 7. And quite honestly, I do a lot of the time. Not just because I love it, but because I see experiences like Christina's, and I want that for all of you. I know what it did in my life as a mom to kids in their 20s. I know what it's done for me in my business, professional, financial life, my health life, my romantic life. And for those of you listening that are finally ready, just reach out to me. You can go to Tracyomalley.com, the work with me section. I can do this with you every single day for three months or we can do it like Christina's been doing it. You know, a little bit here, a little bit there. All of it works depending on where you're at. You can also, if you are loving this episode, share this on Instagram. You can find me at traceeomalley. You can give us a huge shout out for Christina, cheer her on as she embarks on this beautiful journey at Duke University and let her know and I can share it with her and tag her in all of the things. Let her know that this really helped you. Whether you are the 20 something year old or the mama or the dad or a friend that is loving or supporting A3. I know that it can be hard to support A3 because we do believe you all got it together all the time. And I appreciate your vulnerability and letting us know how to be there for you as well as you being the best for all of us. We appreciate you so much. You really opened up a lot of people's hearts and minds today with what you shared. You guys are hard to read sometimes because you do let us think you got it all, all the time, but we can feel that energy and you just taught us all how to support you better too.

Well, thank you for letting me do this. It makes me really happy that maybe other people will be able to understand sort of threes better because like you said, we are so hard to read. And it's almost hard for us too, for other people to think that we have it all together because we very much do not a lot of the time. So, yeah, it's good for us. Like, it's good for me too, because people are going to realize, okay, like, there's a lot going on inside that we don't really get to see on a daily basis.

Yeah, it's awesome. You are just love and light. It is such an honor and privilege and blessing to walk beside you in this journey. And thank you for trusting me. I thank your mom for trusting me. And I'm honored to just do this work with you and watch you shine your light on the world in a way that feels so authentic for you. Not because of what you do or how you appear or what you achieve, but because your energy, your heart, your soul is just magnificent. So thanks again, hon.

Thank you. And thank you for being someone that does see through all the things that you do and to just recognizing my energy and just who I am as a person. I can't really express enough how much that truly, truly means to me.

You bet girl. You bet. It's my my honor. And you guys definitely take this journey. You won't regret it. It can change your life if you are willing to do the work. So until next time.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.