EP192: Live Enneagram Typing Session: When a Feisty Firecracker Is LIT with Bridgitte Carroll (Enneagram 7)

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships, to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Well, hello everyone, and happy 11 11. Oh, my gosh. It's a very special day. It's a very. If you're into this kind of thing, which I am, I live with a little astrologer, so I'm all about learning more about yourself. Whether it's astrology, Enneagram, anything that allows us to have an inside look at who we are, it's really cool. And as long as you have an open mind and an open heart and compassion backing all of that up, anything's possible for you. And today, we are doing a live Enneagram typing session, which you guys all tell me is your favorite thing, because 65 to 70% of you are mistyped on the Enneagram. And if you want to use this beautiful, amazing, powerful, incredible tool in your life, having the right information is key. And although I love, love, love, love artificial intelligence, there are just some things it cannot see that I can. And that is why I love doing these typing sessions. I will do them till I die, whether it's on this podcast or in person or on the interwebs of Zoom. Because once you have the right information, you have the right framework to take your life and run the fuck with it. And it's beautiful. And you also can see maybe where you need to let some things go. And with love. With love. With comp. With understanding of. Ah. That's why things have gone this way. And honor the process. And today, I am so damn excited. I swear to God, she could be my little sister. I could be her mama. Let's just call it like it is. I mean, I literally could be her mother. She is a little Irish firecracker, and she's a cute little redhead. She's a licensed dietitian. She's an entrepreneur. She, like, you know, when sweet Bridget Carroll is in the room, let me tell you, there is. You just. You can't Help but smile when you see her. Her energy is contagious, and it's like my soul already knew her. So there's something beautiful about bringing. And she's also a Sagittarius, so she's got a fire sign as well. So she's Irish. She's a fire sign. And I have a feeling I know where we're going with this Enneagram thing. So, Bridget, welcome to the show.

Oh, my gosh, Tracy, if you guys could see me, my Chee.

And listening to you talk, I mean, you are so magnetic and wonderful. I am so blessed to be here and do this with you.

Oh, my gosh, girl, you are probably one of my favorite people to just watch in action. And I'll explain why even more when we're finished with this, because you're going to understand why I feel this way about you. It makes me want to cry, actually. It really does, because there's a part of you that reminds me. And I'm not like, I'm glad my life has gone the way it has, but you bring this childlike wonder to the world that I lacked. Right. That was kind of. My circumstances wouldn't have allowed that. And to see that in action in adult form, living, and not just living your best life, but helping others live theirs with that beautiful spirit. Oh, I got gooseies all over, sister. It's just a beautiful thing to watch that you're able to do that at such a young age. She's 29. She's going to be the big 3o next month. She's also going to be married in 2022 to Ryan, who is a personal chef. So I would just loved hearing about, you know, some of their adventures together. They just moved a mile from the beach in Cape Cod, so things are looking really up for you.

Yeah. Thank you for all of that. I think when we're in our own world, it's hard to feel.

Like we're doing it, that we're doing the thing, you know, so it's so important, I think, in my journey to be around amazing people like you. You know, we went met in a mastermind, and I think it's so important to put yourself out there in. In those ways. And, you know, I'm inspired constantly by who's around me, and I think it allows me to be my best self. So that feels really.

You know, I met you about a year ago, and like I said, all those things I just said about you were absolutely true. Absolutely true. And you were at a place in your business that, although it was very successful. You had kind of capped yourself out. You were at a ceiling of if I don't do something different, this is as good as it's going to get. And although it was great and you loved it, you're on the verge of burnout for sure. And like, there's only so many hours in the day and there's only one Bridget, right? And you are exactly what you just said. When you surround yourself with the right people and with the personality that you got, anything's freaking possible. And to see what you have done in a year's time, you guys are going to be blown away with everything this little lady has got going on that you're going to want to know about. We'll get to that. But to see what you've done in just a year's time, it's incredible. And that's why she also won MVP, by the way, of the year for our mastermind. Just so you all know, that is no slouch of a frickin room. And I think you're the youngest one in the room as well. Like, fucking awesome sister.

Thank you.

Incredible. So had you heard of the Enneagram before I showed up in your life?

Yes. And to be honest, I can't remember when. You're the first Enneagram expert I've known, that's for sure.

Well, thank you. I feel kind of weird saying expert because it's just so fucking pretentious. But you know what I am. I am really great at the expert in explaining and showing you how to use it in your life. Because it's one thing to just be an expert of knowledge, which, fuck that, I don't care about that. It's like, tell me what this can do for me. And that is where I am an expert. So what had you known about the Enneagram before I showed up?

Well, I knew that it could be a tool that I could use to align myself more with myself. And I think I'm learning from you. It's not just about me. It's about how I connect with other people. So I was trying to grow my business.

I was working.

Now I remember where I first heard it. I was working with a business coach. She asked my Enneagram. She gave me, you know, the online hyping, which. I know how you feel about that.

Yeah.

And then human design too. So at the same time I was trying to figure out more of who I was. And honestly it was. It was a little helpful. But I think will hear that possibly I was mistyped and that wasn't maybe as helpful.

Do you remember what it came up as on that thing?

Yeah. Eight.

You're so not an eight. You're Irish. You're fricking Irish. Like, I. I mean, come on. I can see eight tendencies. And this is gonna make a lot of sense why that does come up. But you're not motivated remotely at all. Like an eight. And that's why those online assessments are fucking bullshit. Because, like, it's all about the motive and human design. And I love all those things, but they're all based on behaviors. And we can change. You know this. As a dietitian, we're obese for a reason. It's not that we don't know what to do differently, but there's a motive behind all the shit we do that keep us stuck in disease and obesity and problems. Right? It's all motive based. And if you don't get to the reason why we do what we do, we're just kicking the can down the street, right? So this is going to be fucking great. All right, so before you kind of. You guys, today is a big day for her too. Seriously. Before, like, the 2021 had finished out, you know, when I met you and you were like, burning out, why do you think that is? Why do you have a pattern of like, go, go, go, go, go, and then you hit a wall? And if so, why do you think that is?

Ooh, that's such a good question. Yeah, I think. Oh, golly, this goes back to my childhood, possibly.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

I'm glad that you got on board with this real quick.

My dad was an entrepreneur. He's a brilliant, brilliant architect and constantly was working. And we're from the Midwest or from Ohio. And watching him with those Midwest beliefs of like, if I work more, I make more, or even. Actually, I don't even know if that was the belief behind it. For him. I think it was. I'm an entrepreneur. I work a lot, you know, and I don't think for him there was ever any motivation around the money even again, probably Midwest belief there. But I saw him work so much, and my mom thankfully stayed home with us and raised us, which was wonderful. But, yeah, when I go into my deep hypno breath work, I see a lot of him not being a lot of him overworking.

Mm. You have siblings?

Yes.

How many?

Yeah, two. I'm the oldest. Hannah is 27 and Patrick is 25.

Look at these little Irish kids. I love it. So as the oldest and as the oldest female with dad not being around. What was it like when he was around? Was he like, fun loving? Was he exhausted? Was he intense? What was it like?

Exhausted, mostly exhausted and loving.

Which was good.

Was he nurturing?

I wouldn't say nurturing. I'd say kind of come to me, I'll give you a hug and let's relax. I don't think nurturing was a piece of it.

What about your mom?

Nurturing, maybe over nurturing.

Would it be honest and true to say that looking at her from the goggles that you wear now, that a lot of her self worth came from being that kind of helper, giver?

Yes, a thousand percent. My. My sister's getting into this.

I was just gonna ask you.

Yeah. Personal development and self development world. And she brought up a story and she was telling it on her Instagram and she's saying, you know, my mom, if I forgot my lunch, my mom would always bring it to me. You know, it was never a lesson of like, honey, you gotta. You gotta do this yourself. It was always her putting us first to a point.

What was the dynamic between your mom and dad? Was like, he the one who, like, was she kind of taking care of everything, including him and all of that?

Oh, definitely. Yeah.

Did she wear it like pride, like, this is my role, or did she wear it like, with resentment or a little bit of both.

Maybe a little bit of both.

Like that martyr kind of thing.

Yeah. You know, one very interesting thing, like, dynamic in my household was that my dad made the money and my mom was to manage it, but she managed it with a lot of fear.

That's where it brought resentment between them of their roles in the house because bills would stack up even if we had the money. It was like, wow. Yeah.

Like she put her head in the sand a little bit.

Yes.

Hmm. Why do you think she was the one to manage it? Was that just like an agreement between the two of them? Dad's like, I'm making it, you deal with it kind of thing.

That is a really good question.

Or did she want to take control of it and then just like, feel like she was in charge of something other than you guys?

She never wanted control of it. I can say that with certainty. I think it was more. So I make the money, you handle the bills. Like that was a role.

Yeah, like he had nothing left in the tank. Like, you got to take this on kind of thing 1,000%. And she probably felt really inadequate in doing it. So it's just like sweep it under the rug, pretend it's not there. Wow. Yeah. And it allows you to stay in fear. And sometimes for many of us, myself included, it's easier to get worried about what possibly could happen than just kind of like, get into it and deal with it. It's crazy. Like, I am the biggest crazy procrastinator when it comes to certain adulting shit. I'm like, what gives? Like, I know how to do this, like, in my sleep. But I think because I've been doing it since I was like four, like, adulting, I'm just over it sometimes. So which one of your siblings is most like your mom?

My sister.

And she's 25 or 27?

27, yeah.

So what has her journeying into personal development? What's not working in her life?

Gosh, that's a good question. I think perfectionism she always talks about, which is interesting.

Were you ever a perfectionist or were you just like, let's see where the world takes us and just go for it?

Oh, gosh. I don't think I've ever been a perfectionist. If there's a term that I love to lean into now as my adult self, it's like messy action. But if I think about myself as a high schooler, myself is a. In junior high, I was always in the gifted rooms. But I think there was, like, a resentment. Like, I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to maybe be labeled as gifted, you know, I think the education system doesn't do the best job at like, really giving people what they need, you know?

So, yeah, the whole not wanting to be labeled thing. Right. Whether it's gifted or free spirited or Enneagram, XYZ or Sagittarius or what? Or Irish even. Is there something about, like, if a label is put on you, you feel restricted and, like, don't chain me up to that. Is that kind of where you're at?

Yeah. Yes, 1,000%. And I almost felt like learning more about Enneagram or learning more about human design. I would feel like that.

Right. Totally get it.

Yeah. And with Sagittarius, I always felt like that. I always felt like this is who I have to be. I can't change, I can't evolve. I can't be things other than myself.

And that feels painful for somebody like you. Yes. Like, don't you tell me I can't do this or that I'm restricted to this. Is that accurate for you?

Absolutely.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, this is gonna be so fun. Between your parents. When you were little and you're Watching the dynamic of dad and mom, who did you want to be more like?

My dad.

What about it intrigued you?

Well, there's one label that I've always resonated and loved so much, which is being Irish. And yeah, I get like, almost emotional.

Saying, so do I. There's a lot of pride in that. Even though we're fucking crazy. Like, there is a beautiful thing about it.

Thousand percent. I almost believe it's because we are a little crazy. Like, some people don't get us. My fiance is on the Italian and even English side of things and he's like, oh, we don't yell loud and talk over each other. We don't, you know, it's just a really interesting dynamic. So I always wanted to be like my dad. And I think to a point, that's why I'm an entrepreneur and sometimes why I burn out.

Yeah. As little girls. Like, the first person we fall in love with, men wise, is our fathers. And sometimes that can be really, really healthy. It's really, really not. And I am a product of that exact same thing. And not just what Daddy saw as important, valid, good. But also what he expected from women.

Right.

And what he thought about women. Did he always treat your mom with respect, as though she was an equal partner, or was it very clear defined roles?

Probably more clear defined.

Yeah. And that's probably a lot of your mom's wanting to be like that too, I'm guessing, because then she knew what to expect. Yeah. When things aren't going so well for Bridget, what kind of things come up for you? Even if the world just sees your smile that lights up a room when you and I both know, like, we're about to go off the rails? What's going on in your heart, in your mind and in your body?

I feel, oh, this is going to sound very strange, but I feel small on the inside and big on the outside.

Explain that.

When I was a kid, I was overweight. So was my dad.

Really? You're a tiny little thing.

Oh, my golly. Well, see, that's funny because, oh, my golly.

That's my favorite thing. You say.

Five times and I'm like, bridget, you can't be known.

No, I love it. Please be the golly girl.

So, yeah, I was a pretty overweight kid. I had a lot of bullying that went on. And it was during a time where my parents were in the midst of not getting along and my dad was drinking a lot and he was really overweight, and so he was overweight, I was overweight. I Got teased. And so I feel like I carry that a little bit.

So part of you feel small inside, but in order to not maybe feel that or pay attention to that, you became larger than life on the outside. Is that a. A good description of feeling small on the inside but big on the outside or just big in body?

And body? More like big physically. And I think it's a protection mechanism. You know, I've been doing a lot with, like, the hypnosis meditations, and I go back to feeling big, like, physically, which is funny because you're like, oh, you're a peanut. Like, I'm fine. But it's almost a protection mechanism, too.

Why do you think you built that protection mechanism?

Bullying, you know, then in college, probably not being treated well by men in college. A lot of, like, physical things.

Whether sexually or not.

Right, right.

Which.

Made me attractive or not. And so I think it's like a defense mechanism to feel yucky sometimes.

What is your take on women? Obviously, you surround yourself. You work with women. You're a beautiful, empowering female leader and entrepreneur and business owner. But a lot of times we base as women what we can expect from other women and also the rule book for womenhood, womanhood from our moms. Do you remember the first time you looked at your mom? You're like, we are so not alike.

Oh, my gosh. I think it was more in my adulthood because I wanted. I mean, my mom is a beautiful person inside and out. I remember her getting ready, and I would just look at her in awe and just be like, she is so beautiful and what I want to be. You know, when. When things were good with my parents, they would go on date nights and they would enjoy each other, and it was beautiful to watch as a kid. But as I grew up into adulthood, I think there were things that I really triggered me about my mom, which was, you know, being the martyr to a point and not taking care of finances and not the adult things.

Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Do you think part of your rebellion with men was part of you trying to fit what mom was, but it wasn't maybe genuine to who you were?

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Because if you look at my relationship now. Right. Very healthy. We've done a lot of shit to get here. Relationship. I just retired. Retired in quotes, my fiance, from his job at a restaurant to doing whatever the hell he wants. And that was not who my mom was.

No. You know, I had the same conflict. Like, I'm a firecracker, you know, all the Things that you see today. Right. But my relationships in my early 20s with men was very similar to what you were. And I think it was like I knew that I was wired more like this, but I only know what this was looked like modeled for me. Even though that doesn't feel right. It was very. This confusing time of. But this is what a woman's supposed. Supposed to be doing. But yeah, and I was kind of in the same deal, so I get that when Bridget feels confident and it's genuine, not just like what we see. Because you're probably pretty good. The Irish are really good at masking it up and playing the part and being larger than life. We can do that. When it's genuine. What is going on for you? What makes you feel most confident and most authentically yourself.

Oh my gosh. When we were just talking about a second ago about college in my early 20s, something that just came to me that is going to make a lot of sense here is. My relationships with my girlfriends was so shitty in college. I was always.

Made fun of. If I had bigger than life ideas, then I was criticized. I needed to fit in. I mean, I was in a sorority. You had it right. So now so many things have changed in my life. I surround myself with the most amazing women. I mean, many of them I met in the last year in our Mastermind. And it's like when I have those people who allow me to be myself, then I'm able to be myself. I can take that on. You know, I can pretend, you know that Irish in me can pretend, but I can also light a bitch up. Light it up.

Yeah.

Freaking own it like no one's business. And you saw me at the last Mastermind. I really felt to a point, unstoppable.

You are.

Thank you. You are vulnerable. I mean, you also saw me cry my eyes out because I felt like I could most confident when I can be seen for me. And I don't have to put up that front or I don't have to peel back and be maybe what my mom was and then also what I.

Was in college when those girls were judging you for your bigger than life ideas. I mean, looking back, obviously, even though you're only 29, it wasn't that long ago, but. But even looking back, you can see that was more about their own fears than yours. Right. Obviously we know this, but that little girl in you, that is still like, yeah, but I don't want to be made fun of all the things. How did you handle it in college? Did you dumb. It down, dim your light, drink silly. All the things.

Did you just nail every single thing on literally? My relationship with myself was horrible. I dimmed myself so much and I drank a shit ton.

Yeah, you got to quiet the noise, huh?

Yeah, it was. It was kind of a dark time.

Yeah. No, I'm raising one of you. I know, I know. When you're not doing so well, what would you say is your go to coping mechanism today? Today or even back then, like, is it always something to avoid feeling the pain?

Yeah. But you know what? It's shifted for sure in the last couple months is like.

Yeah.

And I'm actually. I'm proud of myself for this. It's like it used to be not to feel the pain for sure. I mean, that's what. I grew up with a dad who drank a lot. So now it's. I actually try to. I meditate more. I love this.

This is gonna. This. You're. You're just gonna love what I'm about to tell you in a few minutes. It's just so great. When you've had relationships go your life, whether it was friendships, old romantic partners, whatever, what do you believe happens? That was like the common theme. That was your part in it, would you say?

I think lack of communication.

Why do you think that is?

A couple different reasons. I think sometimes I don't feel seen by the person. So why reach out? I don't feel accepted or I don't feel valued. I think that's one reason. I guess a little bit of if I am valued, then I've got to live up to their expectation of me.

And when you feel that pressure or that overwhelm, do you start to get a little bit more rigid and like black and white thinking? And all of a sudden this big idea girl is like pigeonholing herself. And all of a sudden that perfectionist actually does come out, but in the most weird, bizarre ways.

Yeah.

Yes. Right. Like this free spirit all of a sudden is like, no, it has to be this way or no, it has to be that way or you have to have the last word. Does that kind of happen with you?

Oh, my God. I think you're describing literally the last 15 years of my life up until last year when I decided the free spirit self was going to quit a job and everyone was like, you are cuckoo bananas. Quitting your job may of a pandemic.

Yeah. That was a year, like a year and a half ago that you were doing that. And when you don't feel like people take you seriously, is that when you're gonna fight, and that's when more of your anger and criticism and like, who the fuck are you? Kind of thing comes out, even if you maybe don't verbalize it. But your energy.

Oh, yeah, I think that is not dulled, but that angry side of me has come out less. But actually, you know, in the last year and a half, we've had, like, a lot of family things we've had to work through, my fiance and I, and that's where it tends to really trigger things. But also, I've been doing a lot of work and trying to, like, just feel better, even when those things happen.

What do you love most about Ryan?

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, God, I'm starting to tear up.

How he shows up for people he loves.

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

And people he doesn't love. You know, our new neighbor, we just moved to Cape Cod, like you were saying. Came over, and he's just. Just such a beautiful person. I don't know. It's hard to explain.

When's his birthday?

January 31st, 1990.

Oh, my God. That's the year I graduated high school. Oh, God, I love it. It's so great. What drives you crazy about him?

Oh, my God, I love him. To get typed by you.

I would love that, too.

Yes. One of our mutual friends, Courtney Weber, she is married to Michael, and we were talking about Michael's tendencies that drive her nuts. And maybe he's a one. I'm not sure if he's been typed.

But anyways, I don't know yet.

You will let us know?

I will let you all know. I'm gonna bring them on together, too, for sure.

Oh, my God, he's so brilliant. This one thing they both do, which is if I put dishes in the dishwasher, they have to rearrange it.

I want to about bloody blow my eyes out. I'm like, that's really the best use of your time.

That is a one behavior, for sure. But, you know, that's just a behavior, so that's funny to be told. Does it make you feel like he doesn't, like, honor your gifts? Like. Yeah, I get that. I get that. What would people tell me is the best part about being a friend of yours?

You know what I've been hearing lately that you said is, like, when I'm in the room, you feel it.

Yeah, for sure.

And it's interesting because when I get in different groups, I don't want to.

Be felt like, what different groups? The ones that'll judge you.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

So that's family. Yeah.

I was gonna say if I. Same.

Yeah.

Yeah. So. Yes.

Yeah. How does that. Like. Because I know the Irish loyalty, pride thing, and I just did a post about being the black sheep and it doesn't mean like the asshole. Like a lot of times the black sheep people just assume it's like the problem. But in the eyes of probably my family and yours, we are the problem because we are stepping outside of what. What we're supposed to do. And I know in Irish families that is magnified by about a million. And who the fuck are you? What are you saying is wrong with us if you're going to do that? Right. Do you. Do you ever get that feeling?

So, from my Irish side, it's more. I think they celebrate me.

You think or you know?

I know, I think. Well, you know, it's like half celebration. Like, you know, do they.

Do they say things like, must be nice. Yes.

Yeah. Like, I.

That's not celebrating you, honey.

But, you know, it doesn't feel like full fledged judgment of other areas and families of my life.

Got it. You know what I mean? I get it. Yes. I do know what you mean, honey. I do know. I do know. And it's hard because, you know, you're stepping into what you're supposed to be doing. And, you know, I'm not saying my family is pieces of shit. They're amazing in a lot of ways and they're fucking crazy too, in a lot of ways. Right? And all I know. And all I know for you is that you're here to shine your light. Period. End of story. And it's really hard when the very people that we're supposed to feel safest with maybe don't honor that. Not because of us and not because they're assholes, but because they got their own shit too. Right? It's really hard. It's really hard to break free from that. What would people tell me is the hardest part about being friends with you?

That I do shine my light sometimes. And sometimes I like, say too much. Like, I don't know when to.

Sometimes don't have a filter.

Okay.

My fiance would be like, why did you say that?

Why does that bother him? Would you say, is that about him or about. He's protective of you?

Oh, it's definitely about him. That's a good point.

Okay. Why does that upset him, do you think? Is it because he's afraid to be that vocal or that unfiltered? Is he worried what people might think about him? If you're Popping off at the mouth.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. And when that. When you feel that judgment, even if it's not verbal from him, you know, the look probably you've gotten, like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Right. How do you feel? Does it fire you up or do you want to, like, shut down a little bit or a little bit of both, depending on the day?

Depending on the day, for sure. It happened twice while we were. Twice today, actually.

Happy retirement, Ryan.

We were actually driving an hour all the way to our favorite personal trainer and driving back, and I was on a team call, and I took a bite in between while I was saying something, and he was like, so it wasn't something I said, but it was something I was doing.

Behavior.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, what kind of professional eats while she's in the middle of something kind of thing.

Tracy, that is exactly what he said to me.

Yeah, that's another one. Behavior like that. I call them the sheriff.

Definitely.

Oh, my God.

They're like, they're policing everything that we do, and they make us all better. Like, they're high standards, high attention to detail. Like, thank God for them, because otherwise, like, people like you and people like me would be, like, wrecking balls throughout the world. But a lot of that has to do with their own inner critic, and they project that onto us. And when you get somebody like me or you, it's like, oh, put on the gloves. We're going for it.

Wow. Yeah.

It leads to a lot of passion, but. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. It's funny. I was talking to the guy that I'm dating, and he's like, this is weird. I'm not used to knowing. Not being the most fiery one in a relationship. I'm like, well.

Welcome to my world. Here we are. If you were to leave the world tomorrow, what would you want? Those of us that love you most to? What would you hope we loved most about you and learned most from you?

Learned most from. Is that you can do anything that you want and you can be successful at it. Thousand percent.

Did you have an idea of what you might be on the Enneagram? I know you and I chatted about it last time we were in person.

This is going to be funny the way it comes out, but I was hoping I was a seven.

You are. Yeah, you are. I was right. I was right. I was right. Like, I'm laughing that an 8 showed up for you, but you do have, like, an eight wing, and I'll explain what that means. And you got a lot of Fire. But I also think that this. That's your fire sign and your Irishness. And you just take action and you're fearless in certain ways. I also think that's an Irish thing too. So you are an enneagram 7. This is why I just. I'm so in love with you. You know, my daughter's a Seven as well. And she's why Sevens are why I really threw myself into the Enneagram. Because I recognize that enthusiastic, visionary, free spirit, innocence, anything's possible. Part of me had been dimmed so long ago. Like, and I used to harshly judge those. I would have been one of those bitches in college, like. Like, get out of the clouds. Or like, who the fuck do you think you are? And because my daughter is just like you, I knew that. That's why I needed to understand not only how others receive me, but other people. Because the last thing I wanted to do is dim a light like hers or yours. Ever. And so the world needs more enthusiastic visionaries like you. Now, other than trauma, the number one reason why a lot of people are mistyped has to do with our instinctual response to life, right? And this is the, like, the thing that I love. Artificial intelligence. But this never takes into play how ourselves get expressed, you know, so being a Sagittarius, like, there's a lot of different factors that can change how your sag ness gets expressed. Same thing with your Enneagram type. And we have these things called instinctual responses or subtypes in the Enneagram. And other than trauma, which is tied to our instinctual responses to life, this can alter how a type looks as well as like the emotional health and the emotional intelligence. Right? And so we have self preservation, which is not you, right? The self preservation instinct focuses on material security and comfort. They kind of conserve and hoard energy. Like, it's hard to imagine a seven being a self preservation. But it's the one of the Sevens that maybe doesn't quite look like the typical Sevens. Like the stereotype sevens, right? And then there's the one on one Sevens. This is the dreamer, Idealistic, romantic. They see reality through rose colored glasses. This is you. Yeah, this is you. This is also my daughter. Their enthusiasm and optimism can sometimes seem unrealistic or naive as they tend to believe in the good in everything and everyone. And this is why it pisses you off when people attempt to dim your light or maybe question, like the dishwasher thing. Are you kidding me? Like, we can make this fun, right? The one on one Sevens want the world to be more than dreary and dull and may embellish reality and dislike relationships that have become boring and predictable. Right. And then there's the social seven that is a little bit different than the others too. That one mistypes as an enneagram too a lot. They definitely are more about like the relationship aspect, where this one on one, you are driven by intensity of experiences for sure and a close circle. But you're all about like, what's this world got to offer?

Right?

So the Enneagram 7's motivational need is to experience life to the fullest and to avoid pain. Right. The biggest fear of a 7 is being left without options, that they're being trapped or caged, that they can't fly. If you tell a 7, this is how it's going to be, they get really rigid and pissy. Don't tell me I can't do, like, give me all the things. Right? And so for me as an eight, you know, my daughter would kind of fire hose me with all the big ideas. You know, the eight in me is going, well, how are you going to do that? How are you going to do that? How are you going to do that? And it wasn't that I didn't believe that she was capable of that, but the strategist in me is like, Holy shit. Understanding a 7, this will be really good for you to explain to Ryan. And Ryan, Ryan, if you're listening, take notes right here. This is so fucking important. When you love or lead a 7, their need to fire hose the big ideas is just a brain dump. It doesn't mean that they actually are going to do it all tomorrow or that they really think it's all going to happen tomorrow or that they have the strategy planned out tomorrow, but they have to kind of fire hose these ideas and know that it's possible. Right? And once I knew that about a 7, I was like, fire away. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. It's where all the greatest ideas can happen. And what I'll usually say to a seven when they're like, that is like, that's awesome. Which two are you going to focus on today? And right now we'll put the other ones up on the whiteboard. They're not going anywhere. They're all possible, right? It's almost like you have to feed their. We need to know that we can do this at some point, whenever I choose to. But for now, we're going to focus on these two, three things, which is exactly what you've done the last year with your business. Yeah, exactly. Right. Seven's value, a sense of freedom and focus on optimism, being inspired and taking opportunities as they present themselves. That's why it is so important for a 7 to be in a room full of big dreamers and people that believe, even if they're not wired like you, but that anything's possible. And that if you are surrounded with the right people, you work hard enough, you're right, it will happen. Sevens need that. Otherwise their spirit gets crushed. And it's why they're probably the most prone to addiction, because their light gets so dimmed, they start to think something's wrong with them. It's painful, and they don't want to feel. They want to avoid the pain. And that's quite often. I used my seven wing in the not so healthy way. Let's just call it that.

Right.

Sevens approach life as an adventure all the time and appreciate being playful and spontaneous. And this is what I love most about you guys. You make me feel alive. Now that I embrace that, that's still in me. That's why I love being around you. And at your best, people will experience you as content and serene. When you're able to embrace sobriety, and I don't mean from a substance, it's like you're here in the now. You don't need all the things right now, but you're like in the present moment, when a 7 can be present with what's in front of them, knowing all these other things are still going to happen. That's why you have got, like, such an intimate experience this last year in our Mastermind, because you're so present in this, and it's beautiful. You're not looking for what's next or the shiny object over there. You're like, I'm here for the moment right now, savoring all of it. And that's when your best ideas happen. It's why the visionary in you has really come unleashed and why you're doing everything that you're doing. When a 7 isn't so healthy, you can be experienced as impulsive, uncommitted, unfocused, a little all over the place. And when you're dealing with somebody like Ryan, who is more rigid. My son is a lot like Ryan. It sounds like they're probably the same. You know, living in a house with a seven can feel very. Holy shit. If. If we don't understand what's happening, we're like, slow your roll, sister. You're disrupting my life around here. Right. So understanding that, you know, Ryan needs to know, like, I'm just going to fire hose all the ideas. It doesn't mean all of it's going to happen at once. Right. I'm just throwing it up at the wall. Okay. But communicating that will be really important. And understanding that the other people that aren't like you, like, he may need a sense of certainty or like, if he is like my son, which I'm anticipating he is. When he hears you go off in big ideas and his brain is going, how can I help her? I can't help her with all those things. And he starts to panic inside. Like, he's not going to be a great husband or a supportive part of your life because he's just hearing all the ideas and knowing that you're going to need support for all that. And if he starts to feel inadequate that he's not going to do it. That's. That may be where that projection comes from. So understanding and communicating, like, it's stupid idea time and I'm going to come at you with all of it. And so living in a house with a seven, I'm like, let's hear it.

Yeah, I'm sitting back and enjoying.

Let's get the popcorn. Because this shit's going to be fun to watch. And it is. Because when we uncage a seven, my God, do miracles happen. So I hope that he's listening right now and he's taking a beautiful note of that. This is where you bring out the best in each other for sure. So as a seven, I say this all the time. Like, having the right tool for the job is really, really important. Just like with any kind of project. And the good news for you is you know your seven inside and out in your sleep. You don't even really have to think about it. It's how you're wired. It's who you are. Now, you and I both know that sometimes we gotta slow our roll a little bit to be effective. But a 7 doesn't like that because it feels confining. Right? But in order for these big visions and dreams to come to life, a pause button is required. And sevens left to their own ways will never do that. And so that's why the anatomy of your enneagram type is actually more important than just knowing your type. So this is where the wings come into play. And they are the superheroes of this whole thing, because they're like the supporting roles in a movie. You know, like in. In any of my favorite movies, it's the Supporting cast that make a movie fucking great. Yeah, Always. It's never the lead actor. The supporting actors just make the lead actor look like a hero. Like next level. Right. So your wings are like the supporting actor and actress. Right. So the seven's like, let's fucking go. All the ideas all at once. Let's go. Right. That's not. That's why a lot of sevens end up, like with all the ideas but no execution. And you might have felt like that for a while. Or it's like that all those ideas seem too big. So you're just going to stick with what you knew, which is where you were a year ago when I met you.

Yeah, right.

And because you'd only been in business for a year, a little over a year and a half. And then the pandemic happened. Are you kidding me? Like, seriously? So 4A7. What I'll usually do with my daughter even is like, hey, let's check in with the six wing, which is that loyal skeptic. Right. They're still driven by a need for certainty just like the seven. But the six is like the master troubleshooter. They're like the worst case scenario thinker. They're like the. We have five plans. Like, the visionary is at seven. Like, we're going to make this happen. That six is like, here's plan A, B, C, D, E, F and G. And if this happens, we're going to go to this plan. If this happens, we're going to do. I see you doing this currently. It's. It's freaking amazing. The six in you. Even though the seven will want to be just like, let's go and worry about it later. The six will actually make you more effective. Won't energetically bankrupt you. As long as you accept that that's their gift and you just lean into it and don't allow that to feel like it's restricting you, that it's actually going to help you soar you and faster and higher.

We just bought a house and I was like, you know, we kind of went into this as like an emotional let's do this. And it was funny reflecting on it recently, I was like, you know, next time we do this, I want to have a real good plan. And it felt actually exciting because I felt like, oh, I can learn from this.

That is your six wing. That is your six wing. It is. My best friend's a six, which, thank God. And my daughter has a strong six wing too, where she's learned how to lean into it instead of it feeling like, it was handcuffing her. She's learned how to realize that that actually helps the seven in her become more credible, trustworthy, and actually execute. Next fucking level.

Next. It's why you're doing what you're doing. Like, it's why you joined a mastermind. You're like, I need troubleshooting in my corner. And even though that's not your natural go to, you're surrounded by that. You're surrounded by people that have those skill sets. It's important for a seven to surround yourself with people that have skill sets. You don't because you're a visionary. You're. Anything's possible. You're like, if we can dream it, we're going to freaking do it. Like, that's your gift. But the execution part isn't always the best, right? And you get bored. You're like, this was exciting when we started it, but now I'm bored. And now then. Now you get overwhelmed with the details of it. So if you lean into your six wing before you make a decision, that can prevent you from regret later or resentment or overwhelm, which will send you somewhere else. And I'll explain that in a minute. Now, the thing with that six wing is when you start troubleshooting, this may upset the seven in you, and then you feel overwhelmed, and then you become paralyzed. And that's where you become more critical or perfectionistic or argumentative. When you feel that overwhelm of all the troubleshooting, it's like you're pissing in my Cheerios kind of feeling. Right? But you need it. You need the six wing to troubleshoot. But that's not fun for a seven. But the good news is, and this is where your eight comes into play. On the other side of you, you have the challenger. So you have an eight wing. But a lot of times, I think before this last year, you just go from seven to the challenger. Like, let's fucking go.

Yeah.

Because the challenger, the eight, is afraid of nothing. Like, they like to fight. They will deal with the consequences later. They actually get off on a blind. I get off on the unknown sometimes. And so a seven with an eight wing can be very destructive if we don't check in with that six wing first. But if you use both supporting roles together, like, let's. Let's always kind of check with the six before we do anything. Okay. Because a seven and an eight together can be very destructive. They're fun and intense and definitely exciting. But if we don't check in with that troubleshooting, six. They're not going to rain on our parade. Let's just kind of counsel them. But if you get caught in the overwhelm, check in with that 8, they're like, Is it go time? And the 8 is going to be like, yeah, let's go, let's go. And that's where I come into play too. Like as an 8, it's with my daughter. I'm like, have you thought of this? Have you thought of this? She's like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, then let's fucking go. She's like, great.

It's awesome. So a seven, when they're overwhelmed and feeling like they're being trapped or people aren't taking them seriously or. One of the things I've learned with a 7 is not to interrupt them. Because some of your ideas can be like, fire hosing, you know, Especially if, like, Ryan's brain or my brain is going into strategy and how is this going to be executed? We can be a little dismissive unintentionally and interrupt you, and that makes you feel like you're not being seen or heard. Big mistake with a seven. So just knowing Ryan, that she's going to fire hose all the things, let her have at it so she doesn't have that overwhelm or feeling like she's not being seen. Because when a 7 doesn't feel seen, they take on the not so pretty parts of the sheriff. You look like a one, which is so opposite of you, right? All of a sudden, this free spirit is now in perfectionism and calling everybody else out too.

Right? That's when me and my daughter almost killed each other before I understood what that meant. I'm like, where the hell did your free spirit. Anything's possible. Go? Because now you're like, arguing. And don't you think I have shit handled? Because I do, right? And it's where we started to butt heads. But now understanding this, when I see a 7 all of a sudden become black and white, thinking and rigid instead of, like, putting on the gloves and saying, let's brawl. I'm like, what can I help you take off your plate right now?

Because you're just overwhelmed. A seven, like that is just an overwhelm. They have all the ideas. They haven't had a place to dump it, you know, they haven't asked for help. They haven't checked in with that six wing, right? And so recognizing when you do get like that, not to go down and pull out the shame stick, but saying, hey, I'm sinking. I Am underwater. Ryan, can you throw me a life jacket right here, right now with love and compassion, right? And so when I see that in a seven, it's it automatically you guys exhale, and it's going to be okay.

The beautiful part, and I already see you doing this. So when a 7 is growing, you know, you love being around fun and people and all the excitement, right? But a lot of times when you're just in that mode, a lot of this vision can't come to life.

Right?

And so you need to build a container for the vision to have its roots really planted. And a seven in a growth pattern looks like a healthy five, which is the investigator, which is the most introverted, ironically, on the Enneagram. But things like meditation or yoga or things that don't involve people, places and things, just you and your inner soul and a free spirit and God or whatever you believe in, really letting that vision be birthed in you, because it can't be birthed unless it has an environment or a container to do so. And so you taking that solitude. There's a big difference between isolation and solitude. Beautiful things happen in solitude. And so when you start to feel like you've got a lot of visionary stuff, knowing that you got to take a little season in this five cave, I call it. There's healthy five cave, and there's a not so healthy five cave. You know, you leaning into that beautiful healthy five cave. This is where you also build a case. Like I have this vision. Your six wing has said, yeah, but this is where we have to troubleshoot it. Where the expert status comes is in that five, that healthy five. It's like, no, I am the expert in this. And you're doing that in your industry today, my sister. Let's tell the people what you do.

Oh, my gosh. Well, thank you.

This is perfect for what you're doing.

This is perfect.

I know.

It's funny, Tracy, when you're saying all of that, like, even the 5K, it's interesting how you saw me back in March, now November, of what really changed from then until now was going in more solitude. And I meditated almost every single day and went into hypnosis. And I think that's why I was able to show up at our last in person retreat. So, well, so anyways, in August, I birthed the idea, or it had been in me for a while, growing my own supplement company, company.

And three months ago, y', all, this was in August. And guess what just happened today? Today, you guys, we are launching Gut.

Personal Personalized gut health supplements.

Unreal, girl.

Yeah, it's really exciting. I'm, I'm so, so, so obviously as seven, I'm excited.

Because this is going to help women feel better in their bodies. And I think something that's really important to an entrepreneurship is that I don't think people can do the best that they can. Whether it's leaning into their Enneagram authentically or growing their business to what they want if they're not healthy on the inside.

Correct? 100% right.

You can't live your most abundant life in my vision with feeling bad, but especially your gut feeling bad stomach aches and bloating and things like that. So this is not, this is a bigger vision than just supplements. And what I believe about supplements is that they are not supplemental. Every single person modern world needs supplements. So that's what we, we are launching today.

Well, in true enneagram7 fashion though, she's multifaceted in her business. Not only does she have the supplement line you all which you can follow on Instagram or What is it, gutpersonal.com.

Yes, gutpersonal.com.

Go get it. I'll have a discount code for you. Hit me up. I will definitely give it to you. But she also runs a mastermind for health professionals dietitians, next level ones like half a million a year more. She's teaching other health practitioners how to build a very profitable business in integrity, which is what I love about her. And she also has a health gut coaching community for those of us that do struggle with our gut health. So in perfect true enneagram7, her days aren't filled with just one thing, which is exactly what lights the fire for more possibility in the heart and soul of an enneagram7. I love this.

This is such a beautiful time to have this conversation because I just had a meeting with a recruiter to hire a coo. Really today. So for my visionary, and I think that's something recently that I've had to accept is that I don't need to do everything. And actually I shouldn't.

No, you shouldn't. I'm gonna hit you up offline for something that might help you too.

Oh, great.

Yeah, definitely. Probably can help you with something with that, what you just said. So where can the people find you? Because seriously, like, we need more of this energy in our life. I love following you just because like the energy that you bring to anything, even with your dog, is exciting. So where can people find you? Where can they order all the things? Where can they get into Your masterminds in your coaching.

Yeah. So I'm Elbybridgette on Instagram and that's where I put up a lot of business content, a lot of Riley, who's my sweet golden retriever. And that's where I actually will be re enrolling for my mastermind called the Aligned Mastermind and we restart in January. But I would love to connect with anyone. I would love to hear if you listen to this and like one thing helped you or you just enjoyed it. You enjoyed this conversation. I know I did.

I love it. Yeah.

And then gut personal. Gut personal on Instagramuppersonal.com as a small women founded, funded and operated company, my vision is so big for this company. We're not a supplement company or an education and empowerment company. Company with supplements.

I freaking love you. I seriously, you guys, this is the beauty of really knowing who you are, harnessing your gifts and becoming the ultimate leader in your life. I would be honored to take you on this journey like I just did with Bridget. You can hit me up@traine O' Malley.com the work with me section or on Instagram at tromalley. My dear, I absolutely adore you. I love you, girl.

So beautiful. I love you. You too.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram. Traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources is on my website@tracy omalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.