EP204: The Gift You Are to This World and Why We Are So Grateful for You—By Enneagram Type

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Well, hello, and I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. And it is Christmas Adam. For those of you that don't know what that means, it is the day before Christmas Eve. So you can call it Christmas Eve Eve. I like to call it Christmas Adam. And as we are embarking on the Christmas holiday and all the other holidays that come during this time of year, I think there's like 20 something different holidays between like November 1st and January 1st. And I celebrate all of you, each and every one of you. And today I want to celebrate each Enneagram type based on your gifts. You know, I have worked with thousands and thousands of people, individuals, teams, families over the last many, many years. And one of the greatest parts about embarking on the Enneagram journey is understanding that some of the things that trip you up, sometimes, the things that I like to call sometimes our kryptonite, are actually our superpowers and we don't ever have to change who we are. Like, you can all exhale right now and know that there is absolutely nothing about you that needs to change other than your level of health and the come from. So the things I'm going to share with you that are your gifts, you might also recognize might be your downfall from time to time. And they are only your Kryptonite or the wrecking ball in your life when you are coming from a place of fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt or ego. If you are like me, my ego really does get in the way a lot of the time. And my gifts actually turn into the things that trip up my life a lot. And today I just want you to focus on these as gifts. And if you're maybe listening to this and your Enneagram type, you're like, yeah, I know those are my gifts, but I don't feel like I'm tapping into them. The only way to get to Them is to come from a place of love, compassion, empathy, service, and grace. And this is the beautiful part about this, because my intensity as an enneagram 8 is my gift. But for a lot of my life, that was the thing that was very destructive, right? And as I really did the work on myself and started to do a lot more healing around some of the things that happened, and naturally, just that fear of myself, you know, the fear of being betrayed or violated all the time. As an enneagram8, I've had to really work on that so that my day gifts stay my gifts pretty much 99% of the time now we're human, and things happen, and new experiences can give you an opportunity of growth through triggers. That's the beautiful part about the gift of the Enneagram itself. Not just each type, but the gift of the Enneagram is the ability to love. Lead yourself and others from a place of compassion, empathy, and love. And I'm telling you right now, no matter what happens in your life, in your business, in your families, in your relationships, when you come from the place of love and compassion, anything is possible. So today, I want to focus on the gift that each of you bring to my life based on your Enneagram type and the rest of us. It's such a beautiful, beautiful gift that you bring to the table, whether it's at work as a romantic partner, as a friend, or just. Just as a human kind of bouncing through life at the grocery store or anywhere else. No one else can offer that gift quite like you, based on your Enneagram type. Which is why it's so important to draw these gifts out of yourself and each other and to really show appreciation for them, even. Especially the ones that are so different from you. So I want to highlight all the gifts that you bring all of us and give you a little bit of gratitude for you and your super superpower. So let's go. Okay. My Enneagram type ones, the reformers, the perfectionist, I like to call y' all the sheriff in town. No one. No one has eyes quite as keen on details and refinement as you. You make the crappy things great and great things greater. A lot of times, type ones can feel like they're fun people stuck in this so serious body, right? And I get it. And I. I've seen many ones struggle. It's like they want to, but they're so afraid of kind of stepping out of line. And so I. I can. This is how I have compassion for you when you feel so rigid because I understand that this is hard. And the thing about the stereotypes of the Enneagram is we gotta shake them off. Like, this is just a compass, right? This is just a compass. You are not boxed in. You are not labeled. But we really want you using your gifts. And when we use our gifts, that means we have to kind of let our fear flag go. Ones can be both fun and utilize your superpower of refinement, and the rest of us can really support you and give you permission to do that. If you love or lead a Ones, do them a favor by helping them to draw out their fun side while also thanking them endlessly for making everything we do even more excellent than we could have imagined. Imagined. They're really hard on themselves. Even though they can kind of be hard on us, they're even harder on themselves. So always kind of reassure them and thank them for all the gifts they do bring. My Enneagram type Twos, the considerate helpers. You all make us better. You make us feel. You bring us together. Nobody can read a room like an Enneagram, too. And help people feel heard and translate it to others. You know, I know that when an enneagram 2 makes people feel good, that's their crack.

And we love those things about you. Also. My Enneagram Twos, y' all are warm and friendly and sensitive to others. Your ability to sense others needs without you even stating them is your superpower, and it's unique to you. And when I'm working with Twos, they are blown away that nobody else has the superpower. And that's why you guys, if you are an Enneagram too, or you love or lead them, it is very, very important that you understand Two, that you need to use your words, these abilities that you have to read things and people and know what they need. We don't have that. And so I know that is very uncomfortable if you're a two, to use your words and express what you need, because part of you feels like it's selfish to have that, but it's not. And we want to support you and we want to give back and reciprocate what you do so elegantly for us. But we don't have that superpower to just know. So I promise you, we don't have that superpower. My Enneagram Twos, you're wildly gifted at helping others feel seen and cared for. For hosting and embracing and savoring and nurturing a sense of togetherness and family, even amongst strangers. We love you. Enneagram Twos, I'M so grateful that I get to raise 1 and be in the presence of an enneagram 2 every single day. Enneagram type Threes, my competitive achievers. Nobody gets it done like an enneagram 3. Nobody is more laser focused. Nobody can see their eye on the prize like you. My Enneagram threes. And your energy is unmatched. You see the goal, you hit the goal, you actually crush the goal. If you're a three, your ability to rally yourself, your teams and focus in on the task at hand and knock it out of the ballpark is absolutely nobody else can do it like you. That's why everybody wants to be a three. And trust me, I have so much compassion for you because I know that there's always a catch, you guys. I'm telling you, with every superpower, there's a catch. And threes can be really, really hard on themselves and feel like it's never enough. And the only way that they are worthy of this shout out is by what they do. And it's going to be really important if you love or lead a three to not always just give them the drug of recognition. And about what they do, at least it's going to be really important that you recognize their heart and the things that they don't do. What part of the threes do you guys cherish most? What I, what I hear that the rest of us are envy of is their focus and how, like, seriously, when you guys make a decision that you're going to do something, there's nothing that stands in your way sometimes, including your health and your relationship. So you're going to have to be very mindful of that. Right? You do it in a way that not only makes it look easy, but you also make it so that it's easy for others to be a part of and that others desire to be a part of. Because you guys cast a vision and clarify a mission and target task and you bring things and ideas from dream to reality like nobody else. And when you as if enneagram3 is grounded, your ability to champion others with compassion and truth is absolutely beautiful on you. Remember, these are your superpowers when you're in love. Compassion, empathy, service and grace. And that is your gift. My Enneagram type fours, the intense, creative individualist or the romantic in town, nobody, and I mean nobody, can hold emotional space like a 4. They're the most intuitive. On the Enneagram, you embody the creativity of our world. Enneagram Fours have the ability to see, feel and experience deeply Unlike anybody else, being in a relationship, a romantic partnership with an enneagram 4 is very intense. And as an 8, I fucking love it. You know, I eat intensity for breakfast, so I love it. But it means feeling all the things, not just like the high intense ones. It means the harder parts too. Fours, you express your creative magic through ideas, through your art, through your words, through your music, through moving your body, through design, through cooking. Like any, any way that you can express, you do it and you do it like nobody else. You bring the gift of a visual, of what feelings look like to the world. The world would be very, very boring without Enneagram Fours. You are all over the place with emotions. And honestly, it's important that we feel that. If you haven't seen the movie Inside Out, I've mentioned it before in the podcast, I highly recommend that because that embodies the full range of emotions and nobody covers the full range in a 5min span better than an Enneagram 4. I swear, the Fours make bringing beautiful gifts to the world. You make it look easy. Your creative brain is mind blowing. And you are often the voice of our souls. You speak for the rest of us in ways that we long to ourselves. And I know for myself, you all drive me crazy. And I am completely indebted to you for that. You're about depth and intuition. And Lord knows the world needs more of you stepping into that. Okay, the thing with the fours, you always believe like there's something missing in you. And I'm here to tell you, my enneagram4people, there is nothing, nothing missing in you. Just let your freak flag fly, please. We need your beautiful expression in this world. My Enneagram type Fives, the private investigators. Yeah, you guys are the most introverted on the Enneagram. You're the quiet specialist. And you know the. The thing that the enneagram 5 is most apologetic about is that you guys know your gift to the world and you see value in it. It's this ability to be objective. Because your gift is the ability to emotionally disconnect. You don't get wrapped up in the wave of emotions that can kind of take things off course, derail us, waste time. Now, that being said, A5 can also get held down by that, right? Like their ability to not tap into the heart sometimes can be their downfall. But Fives can easily, like nobody else, step back from a situation, see it very clearly with totally different eyes, analyze the facts and make wise decisions that blow our freaking minds. Seriously, you have a perspective and a way of Seeing things that none of us have, and especially if it's something you've become an expert on. I've said this before. If I'm trapped on an island, if I have to pick one Enneagram type, it is, hands down, the enneagram 5. You don't get swept away in emotions. You don't get swept up in fear sometimes or others opinions. You don't get into people pleasing your image. You don't get into nostalgia too, too much Fives. You teach the rest of us how to live in the middle space between being impulsive and that like mic wave mentality and like I want it right now and analysis paralysis, because there's that other end of the spectrum and you help us really see the middle as a gift. And that is where all the greatest gifts in life lie. It's always in the journey. It's very rarely in the actual destination. And so thank you for that. My Enneagram Fives, my quiet specialists. Enneagram type 6, the loyal skeptic. Oh my goodness, the loyalist. My most intimate relationship in my life with my closest friend is an enneagram6. So I know this one. And I get to experience the gift of an enneagram 6 every single freaking day at the deepest level. Despite often feeling unsure or unsafe themselves. Like they worry all the time. They need to know all the things. They have to have all the questions answered. Despite feeling unsure and unsafe themselves, themselves because of their need for certainty, Type Sixes, the loyalists, are a well of warmth and care for others they love. They are a safe place to fall for their people and the communities and people and groups that have supported them. They're not quick to trust. They are not quick to have their people. But once they have vetted you, this is where I know without a doubt, I don't rely on people. I don't really let myself need anyone. I can't imagine my life without the Six in my life. Because the superpower for the Six is their deeply running loyalty and commitment. You know, the biggest fear of the enneagram 8 is being betrayed or violated. And when you have a Six that will have your back and has proven it not just in their words, but their actions, it's the most priceless gift in my life. Other types cannot ride the natural wave of relationships and still feel solid like a Six can. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful strength. When this loyalty shows up in healthy relationships now, they can also get into trouble because if they vetted somebody, then their blinders go on and they have blind spots. And that's where. I'm just saying, where an Enneagram aid is really great for a Six. Yeah. Once they believe they can trust somebody, they will give people the benefit of the doubt and sweep some things under the rug. And then it rocks their own safety sometimes. And then it's that cycle, right? Type Sixes also truly want what's best for the group. It's why they're the best collaborators. They are always looking for the collective good. That's what they advocate for. And sometimes their hypersensitive intuition is actually and usually very wise and trustworthy. They're spidey senses, as my favorite 6 likes to call it. Sixes are a gift to every other type in how they show up, support and champion their people. If you love or lead a Six, please, please, please do what you say you're going to do. Tell them the truth so that they can always have that same gift that they give you. My Enneagram type Sevens. No one has a party like an enneagram 7. Nobody brings the fun to the freak show like a 7. No one sees a best case scenario like a 7 or as quickly as an enneagram 7. They have the ability to course correct, pivot change. Sevens easily turn the darkest days into ones of connection, compassion, and complete and total wild optimism. They are known as the enthusiast or the enthusiastic visionary. Like, you know, sometimes the Sevens will get the bad rap of, you know, being all over the place or flighty, but like, they really are the people that show us that anything is possible and absolutely there is nothing off the table. I'm raising one of them as well. And although before I really understood her or any of this, it used to drive me freaking crazy. And, you know, I probably had said dozens of times before she was 14, like, can you just focus for a second? And that kind of squashes that intuitive, creative, innovative spirit and visionary spirit in a Seven. So if you love or lead one, it's really important that you just let them kind of brain dump all the things and all the ideas. Because if they feel like you take them seriously, that's when their gifts can really come to the table. Sevens have a unique ability to see the absolute best in everyone and everything. They do truly want what's best for everyone. And they believe that we all have the power within us to create the lives we dream of. When Sevens are healthy, they are generous, carefree and adventurous and are so freaking gifted in the ability to liven up any room, even the most boring and salty ones, and bring Joy to every single person in it. Your energy and delight in this life is so precious. It is the biggest gift of my life and my enneagram7, my beautiful daughter, is the entire reason why I studied. And now, a decade later, bring the Enneagram here to all of you and in your hearts and in your lives and in your families and in your businesses. So thank you, Enneagram Sevens. My fellow Enneagram Eights, the protective Challengers, sometimes known as the Active Controller. More than any other type, Enneagram Eights know how to advocate for others. Honestly, the feedback that I get when I'm at my healthiest, nobody feels safer than when they are with me or any other eight who truly can have their back. Nobody has their back. When an eight tells you they have your back, you don't have to worry. They will have your freaking back. Now the catch is, is the eight will expect you to do your part right. Doesn't mean you. You kind of just like, they want to champion you to be strong and powerful as well. And although they will take one for the team and be on the front line and take the hits, they will expect you to like, okay, I got you. I will always get you. I will always have your back. And like, let's do this together. The eighth choice to stand up for others, especially those that they love, is a big reminder, like I said, to use your own voice and to speak up and to have courage to stand in that power that we see in you. Like, if an eight believes in you, trust me, you're powerful beyond measure. Eights also demand justice for those who are wrongly treated. We are the champion for the underdog. Our virtue is innocence. And so we're always kind of on the hunt to protect the innocence and the innocent. Eights are passionate and throw energy and attention into making the humans that they care about feel valued, competent. Right there. Competent and seen. Eights remember their name's the Protective challenger. Eights lean into their healthiest self by letting compassion and love drive their advocation. And their influence becomes more powerful and more world changing than ever. When they actually take down the walls a little bit and allow their vulnerability to be seen and felt, that is their biggest challenge. Honestly, it's taken me a long, long, long, long time to really like, I knew it was a superpower, but actually knowing it and integrating that is a whole different ball game. Right? That's why many of you are, you know, always taking in information and understanding things. But you can understand all day long. But if you don't integrate this into your life. Your gifts don't get to shine. The eight strength becomes a wing that other people feel safe under and not one that intimidates or scares them away. You know, the eights definitely can be intimidating when they're not at their best self. When you can feel that intensity from that fear, insecurity, you know, kind of energy, that's when it feels very disruptive and intense and not a good way. So all my Enneagram eights out there, we know that you're protective and just please lean into that vulnerability. It's when we can and we are the most powerful world changers out there. When we are at our best. And finally, my beautiful, beautiful Enneagram type nines, the adaptive peacemaker. Ah, I have said this before and as we embark on Christmas, Adam, if Jesus was an Enneagram type, I believe Jesus would be an enneagram type 9 because of their ability to care so deeply for the greatest good for all of us. But when a nine is in their beautiful, confident power, they also challenge directly like nobody else in a way that really makes you feel loved and supported, even if they have to call some shit out. Nines may resist or deny that this is their superpower, but a 9 has the ability to lead a charge of positive leadership better than anyone. Think Jesus, okay? Whether you believe in that faith or not. Like, you know the story of Jesus, right? And 100% like the positive leadership. And for the greatest good, it is unmatched. Healthy nines discover the energy to rise up in their voice and claim their authority and confidently lead to powerful change. Where that nine can kind of go sideways is they are motivated by a need for harmony and a peaceful existence and so understanding that they might have to disrupt things in order for it for the long game. Less healthier nines won't use their voice or their opinions or their thoughts. And in fact, some of them have shut it completely down where they don't even know, right? But at their best, Nines lead with grace and tenderness. And they are, no doubt about it, the unifier of people, teams, staffs, families, friend groups. You Enneagram Nines have the unique ability to see everyone's perspective with understanding and grace even, and especially when it's different than your own. And I promise you, Nines, other types can't do this like you, not even a little bit. You naturally encourage others and genuinely, genuinely want others to be happy. It's why sometimes you'll forego your own opinions. Please don't do it for too long, because then it's hard for you to access it yourself. Egos rarely exist where nine is leading in the world and the businesses and everything is better and richer and more successful because of the Enneagram Nines. You guys, each and every one of you, bring a gift to the world. And when we can look at all nine Enneagram types through different lenses and especially your own right, but also the other eight Enneagram types that aren't like you, this is where compassion and love can lead and this is where your gifts are so recognized to those you love and those you lead. And I know for myself that the ability to pour this stuff into you so that you can bring your gifts to life in the business space, in your family life, in your own personal existence and your divine calling on this earth. I know that the gift of the Enneagram for me and in my world is something that has been life changing over the last decade and I am so excited to continue to bring more of this to you in the coming years. Until my time on Earth is called, I will be speaking this life into you. And if this is something you want to dive deeper in, it would be a gift to yourself to do a typing session with me and really nail down what this means for you and how to bring your gifts to this world. You can go to traciomallley.com the work with me section to do that or just find me on Instagram. Tracie o' Malley I hope you have the most beautiful, beautiful holiday season and Merry Merry Christmas to you.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceeomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.