EP206: The Way to Your Next Level Life Is Through a Next Level YOU and How to Get There in 2022

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and.

Make money doing something you love?

Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

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Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula. And we are rounding out 2021, which is so crazy. To me, it seems like just yesterday we were in 2020 and we were like, 2021's gonna be the new year. Next level, all the things.

The end of December, and we're rolling into January 2022, like, what the hell just happened? And as I was kind of like going through what profound thing I could bring to you on this final episode of 2021, I was wrestling with it and nothing was coming to me. And I always know that when nothing is coming to me naturally or even by what you're telling me you want. You know, because I'm such an intuitively led person, when I'm not feeling it, I honor that I've run it through the filter. Am I procrastinating? Am I self sabotaging? Or is this a divine calling? And I do believe what I'm about to share with you is exactly what not just you need to hear, but I do too. You know, quite often we teach what we need the most. And so for this final 2021 episode, as we roll into the new year, I wanted to talk about what going next level really means, because we're all saying it. I know you want to go to the next level, but you got to walk that talk. And quite honestly, many of you don't even know the walk you need to be talking or you don't know the walk you need to be taking, because quite honestly, to go to a new level or the next level will require a new next level of you. And so how do you get there? Right? I know because of the work that I do that many of you have hired coaches, you've done programs, you've done the courses, you've joined the masterminds, you've gotten therapy, you have removed yourself from certain people, places and things you've done the things, and things aren't changing. Things aren't changing. So today I wanted to share that with you, what this is going to look like to really go next level. And I'm in the middle of my own next level. I want you to know that. And it is requiring a next level, new kind of version of myself. And it is really, really freaking uncomfortable. It is really uncomfortable. And there's a reason why it's hard to get to. It's why we hit that ceiling. It's why we slip into old patterns. It's why we fall into codependency. It's why we keep people in our lives for longer than they should. It's we in air quotes give ourself grace when we're really just making excuses for why we haven't done the damn things. Okay, so what is the next level that you desire going to require of you? Now, you've heard me talk about the Enneagram a ton over the last two years on this podcast and over 200 episodes. And and this will using the Enneagram will allow you to really zone in on what next level of you is required. That's why I love the Enneagram so much, because it is a roadmap for you individually. So being typed properly, if you're going to use that as the powerful tool it is, is very, very important. And I'll use myself as an example. I am in the middle of the most vulnerable aspects of my life in every area. Business, professional, personal. As a parent, it is so uncomfortable right now, but I also know that all the juicy stuff is right there too. Usually, you know, the things that we desire the most require us to get a little uncomfortable and not slip into the old protective ways. And as an enneagram 8, obviously I want to avoid vulnerability at all costs. The biggest fear of an enneagram 8 is being betrayed and violated. For each Enneagram type, that's going to look a little bit different. And I've been in an experiences lately where the Enneagram 8 loves to show how powerful and strong they are. Now, an unhealthy 8 shows this in really domineering ways and aggressive ways. And I am an aggressive person. My best friend tells me I do everything very aggressively, even chew food and take vitamins. And that is true. However, I have really leaned into my power and strength from a feminine energy as well. Like, I can do masculine all day long, but when I reside there for too long, it's very unhealthy. Right? And I've learned how to use it in a feminine way. And something that I realized this year that I didn't quite expect, and it kind of blindsided me a little bit and feels very vulnerable, which I do not like, is that even in that feminine energy that is a little softer but equally as powerful, it is not always well received. And that surprised me. I thought once I just learn into my feminine energy, that everything will just come together miraculously because I can pull in my negative or my masculine. But this beautiful feminine energy that the divine feminine that all these spiritual people are talking about, that you just lean into your feminine energy and everything comes to you effortlessly. And this goes for men too. You guys need your feminine energy as well. It's where all the creativity, where, you know, all this beautiful stuff comes. That being said, when you're kind of putting yourself out there, it isn't always received that way. And in fact, the more that I have leaned into that powerful, very powerful energy, the more rejection I have faced, the more that my strength has actually been used as a liability instead of the asset to other people. It is very scary for some people because when I have married my masculine and feminine together to show how powerful I am, and not just to show, but to just embody that power, let me tell you, it's freaking fucking people out. It freaks me out too, you guys. And so I can find myself going to an old pattern of dimming my light a little bit or leaning more into the masculine, which feels very, very safe to me, right? And I know for me to step into new levels in my business, which, you know, to be able to serve more of you at a higher level, more businesses, more organizations, more companies, more families, I have to not be afraid of the vulnerability that comes with leaning into that. It's so hard, you guys. It is triggering every wound I've ever had. It has me wanting so badly to lean into the parts of me that I know that I'm safe behind. You know, and for each enneagram type, we have these walls that we put ourselves behind, right? And the walls definitely do keep out the pain. They keep us safe, but they also block us from the very freaking thing that we say we want at that next level, right? And so leaning into the uncomfortableness and honoring the vulnerability and the tears and the soreness and the pain of working this muscle is required. There's another part of this whole thing to go next level that is required of you as well, and that's honoring the little wins along the way. Not just the little wins, but the little traumas that you identify that come up along the way, because this is where the real transformation happens. I think I've said it on this podcast before. You can't be excited about a million dollars if you're not excited about one. You can't be excited about healing the big traumas if you can't honor the little ones. That kind got you here, too. You can't celebrate the great love if you can't honor the loves that have come before it. Right. Because this is where transformation really happens, is knowing that every single part of the journey, especially the painful ones, were required for you to step into the next level of who you are. Now, how we deal with those things will vary. Sometimes you can be like I did for 40 years. Went down kicking and screaming and resisted at all costs. And, God, I fought it tooth and nail, and I was just so resistant to leaning into that. And it wasn't until I surrendered, fully surrendered to what that might look like and trusting in the faith that I had that this was all happening for me. And I know, God, I can feel you rolling your eyes right now because I know many of you are in the middle of the hardest season of your life. You may have lost some people. You may have lost jobs, income, health. You may have lost friendships like I have this last year, or love. Or you insert what you've lost along the way, and the eye roll will come with, this is happening for me. You're like, shut the fuck up, Tracy. You have no idea what this is like. And I'm gonna tell you right now, I do. I do know what it's like. I have been through seasons in my 50 years where I've lost love. I've lost every penny I've ever had. I've lost certainty, I've lost security. I've lost my significance. I've lost, you know, my pride, my ego. I've lost my entire family. I've lost a lot of things. And so I do understand, and I can honestly say, and I'm not saying it's easy, you know, I'm in the middle of losing a lot of things this last year, and I don't care how much I go through it, it is never easy or fun or convenient or without some pain. The benefit of me being the age that I am, however, is that I have lived through it enough to know that there is always a reason on the other side of it that we can see so clearly when the dust has settled, when we kind of claw our way out of the wreckage. So what is this going to require from you? And I know you're taken this week to be very intentional with, with yourself for 2022. This is the year it's going to be different. New year, new me. You might even be coming up with a new word for 2022. And I'm not knocking any of this. Or a vision board. I am not knocking any of this. That is all talk, though, until you walk the walk that's required to make it happen. And that's where I come in. Honestly, this is where I come in. I can help you make those things happen. Not because I have a magic wand or I'm some fucking. Because I'm not that I am not here to say that I know better than anybody or even yourself, but I do know the love, the compassion, the empathy, the service, the grace that I come at you with, with such wisdom that has walked before you in this. I know that you want what you say you want. I know with good intention and every intention in the book, you are going to make this your year. But without support or somebody to say, hey, I see this blind spot that you don't. I have people in my life. I've paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to have these people in my life too. Right? Before I could identify the right people for free in my life that are now like confidants and friends, before I could really embody that or invite that in, I needed experts to walk me through that and be there for me to help me celebrate the little wins and to even identify the little wins. You know, for you black and white thinkers or you perfectionists and people pleasers out there, it's very hard for you to find even a little win, right? I know it is. I know it is. You throw in the yeah, buts, that's great, but that's awesome. But I didn't do this. And if you can't celebrate the little things along the way, you will never, ever, ever manifest, invite in, make happen the big things that are on that vision board, that are in that journal, that are in your intentions, that are in that magical word you are picking for 2022. That being said, there's another thing that I see in the work that I do with people around. You know, the inner child stuff. And bringing your inner child into your business is required. I don't care what they're. Trust me, if there was a way around this, this enneagram8 would have found it. There is no way around your inner child in every aspect of your life. It's important in your parenting of real life children. It is important in birthing businesses and passion projects and your calling that's on your life. It is directly connected, that beautiful inner child that you might have stuffed in a corner or shoved down with food or drowned it out with alcohol or, you know, powered through with sex or money or success. I've done it all. I've done it all. And it wasn't until I brought Little T to the table with all things that, all the things that I wanted for my life and for my business and for my family and for my love life and for my friend life. It wasn't until I brought Little T to the surface, to the front of the show that things didn't happen. And that being said, you know, I know a lot of you have experienced some hard things in your life and you might even, I hear this a lot. I am guilty of it in the past where it's like, yeah, I experienced that, but other people have had it worse or it wasn't as bad as so and so or, you know, I know my parents did the best they could and they did. I'm not judging anybody's parents anything. I'm not judging anybody. However, the fact of the matter is, is something happened in you, to you, around you, in your environment, in your home, in your experience that has affected how you're showing up for this supposed next level that you want. And until you identify and really honor even the littlest of traumas, they weren't little to the little kid that experienced them. Let me tell you, they were not little to the little kid that experienced them. And for those of you that are parents, if you ever had a child come to you and say so and so hurt me. Did you ever say to them, well, at least you weren't sexually abused or at least you weren't, you know, pounded on by a drunk parent. No, you would never say that. You would grab that child and put them on your lap and say, oh, honey, I'm sorry that happened to you. How did that make you feel? Right? If you had a real life child in front of you, you would absolutely do that. But when it comes to our own work and our own things, we minimize the very things where our beliefs were born. You know, this belief that I needed to be for love, I needed to be accessible and accommodating at all times, to be worthy of approval, love, attention and acceptance from a man came very early on in my life as a four year old from one fucking sentence, One sentence that happened to me Dictated how I showed up for the next 40 years. One sentence. Now, I minimized that one sentence. It kept coming up, and I was like, this is silly. You know, I even laughed about it because my adult brain was taking over. But it wasn't until I brought little T to it and asked her what she felt about that that I could really work on the very thing that had dictated how I showed up in every aspect of my. Not just in romantic love, but this also happened in business and what she believed was a strong person in business based on little things. Not the fact that I grew up with an alcoholic father or an emotionally abandoning, neglectful mother, or the fact that I was sexually assaulted at 10 and 17, or the fact that, you know, you insert it. Or the fact that I had disordered eating from the age of five, or the fact that my own kind of disordered coping with alcohol took over at 15. And how I showed up sexually to like, you want to talk about the big traumas? That's a big deal. Yes. But all of that was all that came after the little ones happened. And so as you are honoring these little wins, you also have to honor and work through the littler traumas that you have minimized along the way or that others have minimized. You know, quite often we go to minimizing some of these things because we were told, suck it up. It's not that big good deal. You know, there's people starving in Ethiopia, and there are. I'm not minimizing their pain either. The fact is, is your experience is your experience, and it should never be minimized because you minimizing it is what's holding you back from next level. So what does that mean for 2022? You're like, okay, Trace, that's great. Now what? Now what? Well, you can work on all of this in tandem, right? Like in tandem of making next level money and having next level love and being next level parenting. You can work on all this at the same time. And so many of you are afraid to dive into this because it's so uncertain what might come up for you and how you'll handle it. And that's why having someone like me to walk alongside you during, through and on the other side of this is so important. So it doesn't have to rock your world. It doesn't have to take you out. And in fact, it empowers the life that you desire. It empowers the family that you crave. It allows you to call in the true love and those soulful friendships that so Many of you say you want, you can't do it, separate. It is all part of the package deal. And I love, love, love helping you through it. And here's the thing, you're not going to get to this next level and be like, cool, I'm good, I'm done. If you're listening to me, you're raising your hand every day. And you are a constant student of growth. Right? Tony Robbins has said it before. Not that he's like, the end all, be all, but if you aren't growing, you are dying. This is facts. This is facts. The minute you become stagnant, your relationships go stale, your health goes to shit, your bank account dwindles. It's just the facts. Trust me, I've got 50 years of this experience under my belt, so I know this to be true. So if you're listening to me, you're on board with like, okay, I'm here until my time on earth is done. I'm here to grow. Great. And so just when you just get comfortable and you're like, yes, I'm at the next level, you're gonna feel the stir in your soul to go to another level. And I can't even imagine 10 years into this hardcore work. Like, hardcore. I've been at this 22, but 10 for Hardco. If the stuff that I'm working through now had showed up 10 years ago, oh my God, I would have never made it out. And there's a reason why it is filtered to you the way it is along the way in your journey. It had to happen in the order that it's happened, at the timing that it did. It never feels like it. This feels very inconvenient what I'm dealing with right now. But I know it is a divine appointment. And you listening here right now is a divine appointment. Having somebody that not only has walked the journey and helped thousands of people through it, but is continuously doing what she is asking of you to do. I will never ask you to do anything that I'm not currently doing or haven't done. That is my promise to you. And anybody that has worked with me can tell you that's the freaking truth. I share a lot along the way in the journey when I'm working alongside somebody. So what does that look like? All right, so we dig in. We dig in and I have only a few spots open for my one on one soul surgery signature program. I really, really do. This is where we do enneagram work. Yes. And it's like on steroids. We do Enneagram inner child business strategy. We do it all at the same time. And you have 24. 7 access to me for three solid months every single day. That's powerful shit because you can imagine as you're picking up new tools, if you don't have somebody kind of walking you through how to use them. Think of a chainsaw. Chainsaw man, does it have power and it gets the adrenaline pumping. Now if you just take a chainsaw and go rogue with it, you're going to do some damage to yourself, to the environment, to people you care about. And so I don't recommend it. And these tools that I have become so skilled at and have my signature program with, it is not to be just taken lightly. And that is why I do take you through and that's why I do give you access to me 247 so that you can navigate it and it doesn't take you out. And it feels very exciting and scary and all the things all at the same time. But you feel yourself transforming. It's powerful. This is by application only because it isn't for everyone. This is the master's program and this is for the person that is saying, I want my next level. I want it. I want it right now. I want it yesterday. I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over. I'm tired of saying this is the year and it not happening. I'm done. Go to tracyomalley.com right now and fill out that application. Like I said, it's by application only and I'm not taking everybody. And it's only if you're absolutely ready. Now if that's a little scary to you, we do have the Enneagram experience which will allow you to dive into your own emotional intelligence and self awareness and really understand your soul. Roadmap based on your enneagram type. And it's one thing to know your type, but there are so many other components to that tool that I am happy, happy to walk you through. It excites me. Walking people through that journey. It's powerful. And to feel seen, heard and understood. And you can also go to Tracey O' Malley.com for that.

I am so emotional. I'm surprised I didn't cry because I before I hit record I had a full blown cry fest which I don't do very often. Some really vulnerable things happened today where I recognized that, you know, my strength, it is my greatest asset and it can be my liability as well. And navigating how that feels and me wanting to go into an Old pattern just to feel safe and protected. But I know that I'm blocking the blessings not only for my life, but also the ability to walk with you in your journeys. And it's very humbling and scary and healing all at the same time. We can hold sadness and joy and grief and pain and excitement all in the same moment. And I have all day today. So I know that you are listening right now and you're like, yes, I'm tired. I'm tired too. You guys.

It's hard to step into the calling that's on your life. It's hard to really honor what you are here to do. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but I promise you it's always, always worth it. And I would be so blessed and honored to take you through the journey. It is my greatest joy to see the compound effect with working with world changers like you and seeing the thousands and millions of lives that you go on to serve and help and the families and the generational patterns that you break so those the legacy that you desire gets carried on to generations that you'll never see. Like that lights me up. Let me take you through will be life changing, not just in this lifetime, but like I said, the generation that follows you. And you know, this is a vulnerable moment for you. As you're listening, I know. I can feel you. I am very intuitive and I can feel your heart's racing and you're like saying, yes, you're talking to me. And you're also petrified. So I want you to love yourself a little extra right now. I do. This is hard. It's hard to raise your hand and say, I'm ready. And then, I mean, how many times have you said, I'm done. I'm going to do the thing, and then you didn't. This is where this stops with me. I know you've been through. You've got some PTSD around coaches and programs and the things. This is where I come in. I get most of you and I'm ready for you. And there is no shame in this game. There's nothing to be worried about. There's no judgment. You will feel seen, heard and understood. And I know that that's scary. So love yourself a little extra right now because you're evolving. You're learning and healing and growing and discovering yourself all at the same time. And that can be overwhelming to do on your own. And you don't have to ever do it alone again. Let me walk beside you into 2022 and beyond the work you do with me will go on for lifetimes that follow you. And it is some powerful, powerful shit. And you are here to do just that. You're here to make big changes in this world for you, your family, your legacy. We do legacy work here at the Leadership Formula. You guys, I am so grateful for you. This could not be possible without you. The work that I am so honored to do could not have come without all of the work that I've had to do and continue to do and without all of your love and support and you listening and sharing this show with so many and sharing me with people that you feel need to hear what I have to say. I do not take that lightly. I take that with a huge, huge responsibility with great reward. To do the work that I do comes with a great responsibility and one that I take very, very seriously. Please share this episode with somebody that you think needs that extra loving kick in the ass. I know I'm going to re listen to it because I need one as well. I think we all do from time to time. It's with so much love and honor. You didn't go through what you've gone through for nothing. Let's make it mean something in 2022. You guys share this. You can find me on Instagram tracyomalley if you are done talking the talk and you're ready to walk the walk, go to tracyomalley.com, fill out the app and let's do the work. Until next time, you guys, here's to becoming the ultimate leader in your life. I love you so, so much and I'm so grateful for the journey that I get to go on with you.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.