EP213: The TOP 3 Ways to UN-Funk Yourself and Step into What You Are Called to Do

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Welcome back to the show. We are towards the end of January of 2022, and I know that I am not the only one feeling it, right? It's usually about two weeks into the new year. The excitement of the newness is worn off. The commit, the excitement, the adrenaline rush of all the things we say we're going to do. And I'm not talking resolutions, it's just like, you know what? I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. And I think so often this is the point in the process where we start really annihilating ourselves a little bit with shame or we numb out or all sorts of things. And I think we go to shame because it's like, God, do I not want it bad enough? Or, you know, all the shitting all over yourself, right? And so today I really want to talk about it because this funk that happens, and I want you to know, no matter how powerful and successful you think other people are, we all experience this. This is called being a human being, right? And I'm not immune to it either. I think January really is beautiful and hard at the same time, right? Because if we're really being honest with ourself, we have to look in the mirror and this is where we start to connect the dots and see what hasn't worked. And the really important part in this is that we meet it with compassion and not shame. Because shame will keep you stuck for sure. And compassion absolutely sets you free. And so today, this getting unfunked, I'm feeling the funk. I'm not immune to it. You know, for me.

It'S not like I have regrets. It's not that I'm worried, you know, because when we kind of focus in shame and the past, that's where the shame comes. That's like where depression can come in. And when we forward think too much, that's where anxiety and fear can come in. And then we get, you know, stuck in just the spiraling out. I am currently in present time. I really, really am. And that's a gift in of itself is being present with the here and the now. Now, the thing that I'm experiencing is, is a lot of like, blah with the now. I think the world, I think, you know, we're now about two years into this hashtag new normal, which I freaking hate. And we're growing weary, right? And we can all grow weary, no matter how strong we are, no matter how bulletproof we are, no matter how much self awareness we have. And so I wanted to give you some very tangible things, my top three ways to unfunc yourself. And regardless of your enneagram type, these will all help. Now when I get to number two, I will kind of go a little deeper because that one does depend on your enneagram type, what that might look like for you. But you know, I have probably more self awareness than anybody I know and I've worked really, really hard at it. And I gotta say, being self aware is a lot harder than being oblivious to it. But nothing grows when we're oblivious to it. And you've heard ignorance is bliss. There's a lot of truth to that. You know, we don't know what we don't know. But I know if you are a listener of this podcast or you are into personal development, you're not here to just kind of go through life. You are here to grow, thrive, honor the calling that is on your life. And so you will have periods and seasons that you grow weary and you get stuck in a funk. The magic in this is shifting out of it fast with compassion, not shame. Because a lot of times I know many of you can shift out of a funk really fast, but it is an avoidant way. It is a kind of sweep it under the rug, suppress it, numb it kind of way. And I was the same way. And so I really wanted to give you some really beautiful, self honoring ways to un funk yourself and bust the funk. Number one move. You gotta move the energy. And here's the thing. I know a lot of you are already very active and I am very active. I've been an athlete my whole life and, you know, very vain. I'm very vain. I'm just gonna call it like it is. And the thing about moving to un funk yourself has nothing to do with a calorie burn. It has nothing to do with the outward appearance. This is solely for an energy shift. And to kind of really ground yourself in your own body. I've spoken of this on a podcast episode before. One of my intentions and meditations and prayers every morning is about movement. I say, and this can be to whatever highest power you believe in. Mine happens to be God, which is the best, good, orderly direction. God, please allow any thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories to come up. And please guide me in the ways to move that energy through and out of me so that I can step into the calling that you have on my life and be the greatest good for myself and everyone I touch. And sometimes that movement is sprints down the canal, you know, especially if I feel like I gotta burn something hard off. Sometimes I'll grab a pool noodle and all my Arizona people. I guarantee, like, you got a pool noodle laying around in your backyard. I cut that sucker in half and I just whack and hit things. And it's very low impact on the body because, you know, if you're angry about something, you gotta move the anger out of you. And if you're like me, who can, anger is my most comfortable emotion. But I do kind of often suppress that because it is scary for other people, that we still need to honor that anger and get it up and out of us. It's a very healthy emotion when we channel it correctly. And this is a beautiful way to do that. This is beautiful somatic work, right? It's one thing to do mindset work, but you really have to honor the vessel that's carrying all this mindset work. Sometimes it involves water. Movement involves water. Whether it's just walking in my pool or getting on my paddle board or a kayak or whatever, you know, I really honor whatever my body is saying I need in order to kind of bust the funk. The other thing that I will recommend for everyone, and I'm an enneagram8, and so I do things very aggressively, typically, especially when it comes to movement. So this honoring practice to bust my funk has been super helpful. But one movement I recommend for every single human being out there is yoga. Life changing. Life freaking changing. And very humbling and very honoring. You know, you wouldn't think like, I used to think that was, like, not very athletic, but it is so hard to slow your mind down enough and to really honor the vessel. And when we do twists and things like that, you know, our body stores a lot of our emotions, and especially like our hips and our back and our shoulders and all parts of our body really do store these emotions. And so even simple twists and balance Poses. And it's amazing what will come up and out for you in this simple practice of yoga. So I recommend it to everyone. And this morning I did a practice with my son and we went to a class that was my very first yoga teacher seven or eight years ago. Eight years ago now, she was my very first yoga instructor. And she's a healer for sure. And it was a very healing, therapeutic session this morning. And I gotta say, since January started, I've done a little bit of yoga every day, even if it's just 20 minutes. And even though I'm kind of feeling the funk, without that, this would look really, really different. So movement is the number one way to bust your funk. When we're feeling the funk, we just kind of want to get horizontal and say fuck it and numb out to Netflix and ho hos or whatever that looks like for you a lot of the times. So this is really, really important. Which takes me to number two. The number two way that I use to unfunc myself. And it's taking contrary action, right? Usually when we're feeling funky is when we do things that maybe give us short term relief but create a longer term problem, right? Like getting horizontal, leaning into the ho hos. And I'm not saying that that's always bad, like there's a time and a place for it. But usually it creates a pattern and a cycle that leads us down a road that we really don't want to. So my typical go to. And this is where the enneagram is really, really important in knowing yourself well enough. Because contrary action for me might be very different than contrary action for you. So as an enneagram 8 for each enneagram type, you have like the unhealthy version of your type. And then this is where knowing the anatomy of your type and your stressor number really comes into play. Because that's like next level stress. And that's my next level funk too. And really understanding that framework and seeing that soul roadmap of my enneagram type allows me to catch it and identify what's happening. So my typical like major, major funk, how it looks is I completely isolate. I ghost people that I love. I start building a case in my head, sometimes towards you, sometimes against myself. And so when I kind of feel that happening, I take contrary action. And what contrary action is, is the opposite of what you would typically do when you feel funk. So then I even more get outside. I get outside even more. I will go run errands outside of my house because I could Stay in my house literally for months on end and be totally okay. And if that happens, I know I'm in a very severe funk, right? So contrary action for me is to be amongst the people, even if it's just the grocery store or the gas station or anything. You know, my typical thing is to isolate and for each enneagram type that looks different. So like, for ones, you can be overly emotional and. And more expressive. And sometimes playing more for a one will be great. Twos can get very defensive and angry, and the opposite will be taking time for themselves, right? Because their kind of go to is helping people. For a three, you know, they kind of want to just do, do, do, do, do. And slowing a three down to kind of do less will be really, really important to bust the funk. But we usually go to the thing that kind of numbs us out or makes us feel important or whatever. The fours typically will kind of be more of a martyr and get more upset and melancholy and depressed. So for a four, maybe put a little more structure in your life to break the funk, right? For fives, they might go down a rabbit hole of information consumption, right? And instead I want a five to get outside and be more decisive, make a fast decision about something, because this will build confidence. It will. All these things will make you feel very uncomfortable at first, but really, really important to bust the funk. For a six, they kind of go into hyper overdrive to do because of their worry and their fear. And instead, I love telling sixes, okay, let's look at the bigger picture here. What's the best that can happen and start kind of operating like that. For Sevens, they can get even more kind of frantic and more in the doing. And especially for Sevens, going into a place of solitude where they're really channeling into their own body and their. Their soul will be really, really important rather than doing more and being amongst the people. Like, Sevens need to not be amongst the people when they're a funk, where eights need to be amongst the people in the funk, right when they're in the funk. So for a seven, being in that solitude, for the eight, I already kind of went over that is to kind of be vulnerable with yourself, maybe be kind be out with the people a little bit more. And then for nines, for them to actually get into action and do something, nines more than anybody can be very sloth like, and they're very comfortable there, especially if they're in a funk. So taking some very streamlined, intentional action will be important for a 9. So taking contrary Action is seriously, it's uncomfortable at first and it never is. Like, yay, let's go do that. But I'm going to tell you, like, doing the opposite of what you typically would do builds your confidence, and you'll never regret it. This I promise. Even if it feels uncomfortable. And number three, my number three way to bust the funk is to lean into another human being in vulnerability. This one is probably the hardest for me even to this day, you know, because I do work with so many of you and you share your deepest parts of yourself with me. And, you know, we do enneagram work and inner child and a lot of strategy and performance coaching and, you know, even in business. Like, this all applies to business too. And, you know, for the longest time, I think most of us have silenced that part in us that is like, I want to say this, I know I'm feeling this, but my God, this is going to sound crazy or stupid if I say it out loud or what would they think of me? Or how will they judge me? And I want you to know, if you're feeling it, it needs to be said. Now, the key is, is to find a safe human. And if you're listening right now and you're like, I have nobody that I can talk to. You have to intentionally seek it out. And in order to find a safe place, then you're going to have to take the risk in being vulnerable.

This is the hardest part. Being vulnerable means reaching out and leaning in in real time, not once you figured it out. Because if you do that, then that's just really good storytelling. Leaning into another human being vulnerably. I want you to kind of to. Maybe in kindergarten, before you started thinking that everybody would judge you, or you were told you're better seen than heard, or you're told, maybe that was stupid, you shouldn't feel that way. The more that we can kind of operate from that kindergarten mentality of communication and fearlessness in speaking the fear that's in our heart or, you know, what we're afraid of. This is how not only you will set that, like, inner child free, but you will also shift the beliefs that you have been carrying for as many decades as you. As you have. This is probably going to be the hardest part for most of you because it does involve risk, it does involve vulnerability, which, you know, when we allow ourselves to take the risk and be vulnerable, there is a chance we could be betrayed, we could be hurt, we could be talked about, we could be judged. But I want you to know your body Feels the bravery and your body feels the courage. And even if shit should go sideways and somebody maybe doesn't honor your process, you just getting out of your body will help you defunct yourself for sure. Oh, you know, I know that 2022 for me, for you, has so much beauty waiting for us. I know if you are a lightworker, a healer, you know that you're here to make an impact, even if it's just in your own home. And I don't mean just because that is the most important team of all is your home team. And even if it's with an animal or whatever, you are here to make an impact. You are not here by accident. And I know that when we get stuck in the funk, we rob not only ourselves, but everything that we're here to do and every person we're supposed to touch of our gifts. And it's really challenging. You know, when I was laying on my yoga mat this morning, it inspired me to do this episode. And I know that there are many, many times I will hold myself back. And I'm decisive as fuck. And I'm not afraid of what people think of me so much. But there is a level of vulnerability when we step into our light that it's vulnerable because all the things people might want more from me, I might be on people's radar. All the things that maybe come up with you, you might get judgment, you might have family not understand. You might feel guilty, like if you're being torn in all these different directions. But doing these three things will really allow you to get back in your body and unfunc yourself a little bit and think of it a little bit more clear. Not only think clear, but your soul will be honored in a way that feels really, really good. Even if it still scares you. I'm terrified. I've been kind of making big plans for what I want for 2022, personally and professionally. And all of it will require me to lean into a new level of vulnerability. And sometimes we can stay stuck in the funk just to avoid that. It's a way that we can stay small. And so some of you may actually really, even though you hate the funk, it's a very familiar place for you. And at least if you're in the funk, you don't have to show up. You can kind of just use it as an excuse. And I don't mean that in judgment. I hope you know that. But I don't want you to stay stuck there too long. I really, really don't. I know you want deserve and desire everything that you want to bring into your life and into your work and into your home. And if you can start leaning into these three things, that will at least kind of get the momentum going. Is it the only thing? Absolutely not. It's a great start. And I'm going to say you can't just always do it one time and expect miracles to happen. It takes consistency and compassion to make it happen. And then, you know, I take people through a whole slew of tools. Kind of once we start here, these are. These are always a good starting place. Right? Because even if you have the right tools, if you can't bust out of the funk, it's going to be really hard to know how and when to pick them up.

But if you are moving and you.

Are taking contrary action and you are leaning into another human in a vulnerable way and you still know you have more to do, this is what I do all day long, personally and professionally with people and couples and families and businesses and organizations. I would love to be able to help you take these things. Next level. Does it mean I can guarantee a no funk day or month? No, absolutely not. Because you're a human being and every time we say we want to go to another level in our life, personally, professionally, it's going to require a new level of you. And that can get a little funky from time to time. But if you know you're wanting to go into the master's program of your next level, then I am absolutely honored, humbled, and take such responsibility. And I take it very seriously, the work I do. If you know you're being called to up level, please reach out. You can go to traceeomally.com the work with me section on the website. You can fill out a one on one application. I literally have like two spots open for the next few months and this is where the rubber meets the road. If you can't go another year without a funk buster, I am the master funk buster, let me tell you. But not just for a season, but for a lifetime. I really, really will help you not stay stuck in a funk for more than a few days. Really? Seriously, I would love to hear how this impacted you. Which of these three things are you gonna do? And if you find yourself doing them and you happen to document it, please tag me on Instagram. Tracyomalley. I would love to see how you are busting your funk. Every day I wake up very, very thankful for each and every one of you and motivated, inspired to help you become the ultimate leader in your life. In your homes, in your work, and in your soul. Until next time, you guys.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.