EP219: Are You Slow Playing Your Personal Growth and Getting Frustrated or Are You Ready for Your Fast Pass to Live the Life You Desire?

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships? To wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Well, hello and welcome back to the Leadership Formula podcast. And we are in this month of love. And, you know, thank goodness we're out of January, right? I think the general consensus is that, like, we start off January very excited and, you know, we have a system in place and big goals and we have a little discipline. And then we are at this six week after New Year kind of moment. And this is traditionally where things go to shit. And since this is the month of love, I wanted to come and bring you some short and sweet tough love. And I will be very passionate about this and also very compassionate about this because I get it. I get it. I started my personal development journey 22 years ago. I was 28 years old and I had this moment in my life. You know, I was a young mom. I was 28 years old. I had a mortgage, a husband and a three and a four year old at 28 years old. And although on the outside looking in, you know, for me to be that young and have my shit together, so to speak, at least on the outside looking in, you might think, like, like, why would you explore personal growth or personal development? Things are working well for you. And they were. Honestly, they were. We had the two dogs, living in Gilbert, Arizona, Beautiful, big house, all the things. And I won't ever forget the moment when my beautiful daughter, who was 4 and she was so perfect, she's an enneagram 7, full of life. She looked a lot like me as a child, too, that I was filled with rage when I was looking at her. And before you go and judge me, I want you to hear me out. Being a mom is one of my favorite things. Absolutely. And having a daughter is also one of my favorite things. Even though, had you asked me before I had kids, I wanted four boys, I wanted an infield, I wanted a bunch of little athletes because I knew I had a lot of masculine Energy, and I was kind of a tomboy and all the things, but a girl, you know, I didn't really know what to do with. And quite honestly, a lot of my disappointment had come at the hands of women, starting with my mom. My mom is a good person, don't get me wrong. However, you know, of course, God gives you exactly what you need. And I got this free spirited, beautiful, love and light, girly girl. And Casey came into my world and is my greatest teacher still to this day, at 25 years old. That being said, when she was 4 years old, I was triggered so tremendously and filled with such rage that that had nothing to do with her. But there was a little voice and a little girl inside of me that was like, how the hell does this beautiful little girl get a life that I didn't get? It's not fair. And that's where that rage was coming from. And I had one of two choices. Either I project all my shit onto her, or I try to make her like me and cage that beautiful free spirit and try to make her like an 8, which she is not. Or I get help. And that is exactly what I did. I grew up in a household that it was a do as I say, not as I do. I couldn't have a voice. I was better seen than heard. You know, as long as I didn't make waves, I was all right. Nobody ever worried about me. And, you know, we do what we're taught, told, or modeled, right, or we seek that out. And I knew I wanted something different for my kids. But just wanting something different without that kind of modeling that went before you, or without the tools to make that happen can cause quite a. Quite a conflict internally. And so I decided to go get some help. And I say this because many of you have explored personal development. Back 22 years ago, personal development wasn't a thing. You know, therapy was pretty much all that was talked about or not talked about, right? People didn't freely speak, like, yes, I'm seeing a therapist now. I'm like, I've seen nine therapists. I've seen the same one for a decade. You know, we freely talk about it, but back then, 22 years ago, we just didn't. I'm going to say this to you because a lot of you, even though personal development and the Internet and all these things are at our fingertips, you guys are slow playing this. You really, really are. And you come by it innocently. And so did I, right? We're not talking about it. We're taking in information we're taking in information, but when we don't have the practice in implementing it or integrating it, or we're taking in so much information that we just start throwing crap up at the wall, hoping something sticks, it can actually create a bigger problem than you even began with. And I did that for another 12 years. So from 28 to 40, that is how I rolled. Nobody knew I was seeing therapists. Nobody knew I was getting help. And I would have these moments where I would take in information, but because I was so prideful or hadn't practiced enough or if things didn't go my way right away, I was like, fuck it, it's not working. I'll go back to what I know, which is my own dysfunction. And many of you are that right now. And maybe you're using an excuse. And I get it, and I'm not judging any of you for it. The fact is, is if things are in conflict enough or if things are painful enough, that is when we make a change. And even financially, like, if you were diagnosed with something that you needed to do in order to save your life, you would find the resources. But for whatever reason, this. This part of our life, this internal growth, this spiritual growth, emotional intelligence that we all so desperately need more than anything, quite honestly. And our emotional health is a huge indicator of our physical health. Just so you know, we don't think it's serious enough unless we're in complete crisis. But I don't want you to get to that point. But the thing is, as many of you are doing what I did and spending a decade or more, for many decades, doing this the hard way. I use this analogy a lot with my private coaching or when I'm doing kind of talks. And I may have even said it here in the podcast. Okay, don't hate me for this, but I'm not a huge fan of Disneyland or Disney World. I've been to each Disneyland and Disney World one time, and it is a happy place. And it is all the things. I'm more of a roller coaster, like, Six Flags kind of girl. I just don't thoroughly enjoy Disneyland. And so when I went, I made sure, like, I got the VIP tour guide and took the FastPass tickets, you know, like, make sure I could go to the front of the line and have the insider kind of take me through all the things because I knew I wanted to see all the juicy stuff, all the stuff that maybe people don't know about unless they go there a hundred times. I wanted to make sure I got it done. The first try so I knew I wouldn't have to keep revisiting this or kind of keep exploring it. And many of you and there's nothing wrong with that. Like I know many of you love some of my two of my closest friends are Disneyland junkies and I get it and I love it for them and love going back and exploring and discovering new things as they go. And there's nothing wrong with that. And on your personal growth journey, there's nothing wrong with taking a slow way to your awareness and your self discovery process. I'm not knocking it. I am enjoying thoroughly learning more and more about myself every day. This is directed at those of you that are struggling and you are in panic mode or your business. Like you got to make shit happen now. Or maybe your intimate partnership, your marriage is in crisis or your kids are not doing so great and you're white knuckling your life. This is for you. You don't have time to explore in air quotes your Disneyland year after year after year after year. You need the VIP Fast Pass direct line to get to the root of all of this. And that happened to me 10 years ago. My kind of wandering aimlessly through this personal growth process finally came to a head and every area of my life was in crisis. My physical health, my emotional health, my spiritual health, my relational health, my parenting, my financial world, you name it, every area was in crisis. And whether I could afford it or not at the time, whether in time or in resources, I needed the VIP Fast Pass to really make shit happen. And I know a lot of you, especially this time of year, you know, you started the new year with big goals and big intentions and maybe even you hired a coach or, or started a course or wanted to get a cert.

And thinking that all those things would be your fast pass and they're just not. They're a Band Aid. They are a band Aid. And here we are middle of February and now you're maybe even pulling out a shame stick on yourself. I get how hard this is. It wasn't until I put all my resources in and said I'm here, I'm here to learn it all now. And I was committed unconditionally to not just learning new tools and getting the accelerator program and having people guide me on the daily through it. I was unconditionally committed until I'm done here on earth to continue to use them. Tools are only as good as you use them if they're sitting in your garage, your personal development garage, or even your physical garage. If You've got a bunch of tools sitting there. I don't care how much you paid for them. If you don't know how and when to properly use them, you just have an expensive garage of personal development tools and you don't know how to use any of them. They sure look pretty when you park your truck in there, though, right? I don't want you to go one more day like that. I really, really, really, really don't. I know what it cost me to wait as long as I did. Although the story has turned out beautifully over the last decade, everything about that has to do with my unconditional commitment to the process and kind of knowing that I needed to do this, even though the resources weren't necessarily there. I had to do some things that were risky and scary. For me to do that. I had to walk away from relationships. I had to lay down boundaries that although the people in my life didn't feel that as a loving act, it was for them and for me. I had to risk everything to not only gain the tools, but to have pure, good, skilled instruction on how to use them. And that is what I'm here, I know, to offer you today, if you have been listening for any length of time. And I just, first of all, want to thank you for your support and all the messages that come in regarding this podcast and just things I've shared over the last decade that help you move the needle in your life. And thank you. It means a lot to me, mainly because I would have died for somebody that did something like this out in the world, you know, 22 years ago when I was just getting started. But if you're afraid to pull the trigger, this is a sign. This is absolutely a sign that now is the time. I know that things are not going the way that you want them to, and I don't want you to go one more day feeling like a piece of shit or to shame yourself or to think that maybe this isn't for you. You are worthy and you deserve the life that you desire and that you have poured your blood, sweat and tears into growing yourself for. You really, really do. There's nothing wrong with you, quite honestly. Maybe you're just not taking the right effective action. And maybe this kind of work is the very thing that you're afraid of. You go for the strategy, you go for the fluffy stuff. You go for the really good marketers out there who, you know, just say the right things, but they're not telling you the fucking truth. I am telling you the truth. That in order to have everything that you desire and deserve, if things are not going the way that you want them to, you need somebody to show you the way. And I know the way because I've lived it, I've gone the way, and now I spend my day showing the way. And I remind myself that I am never there completely. You know, as you evolve and grow, there's going to be another layer that comes up. And thank goodness. Thank goodness. Not only do I teach the tools, I use my own every single day. And that is what makes me somebody that can guide you. And I just felt like this was the time of year that, you know, you're starting to lose steam. You're starting to beat yourself up. If you're in a place where it's cold, you're over it. And it just like. God, it feels like Groundhog Day for you. It doesn't have to feel like Groundhog Day. One more minute. One more minute. You know, if you don't know your Enneagram type, you can start there. It's a beautiful way to start. That is just the beginning. And then once you have your Enneagram type, yeah. You can take the. The going back and forth to, so to speak, Disneyland day after day and explore it. And there's nothing wrong with that. But if you feel like now is the time, 2022 is the year that enough is enough, you can do that. And then we can go beyond. I work so closely one on one with people, and it is my signature work. It really, really is. The Enneagram is part of it. And then we go next level with. Imagine having somebody on speed dial every single day for three months to help you, not only give you the tools, but show you how to use every single one of them in every situation in your life, business, personally, relationally, in your parenting, all areas of your life. I've lived every bit of life that you have. I have had businesses, I've had corporate careers. I've raised my children into their twenties at this point. I have been married, I have been divorced. I have lost people through death and divorce and, you know, when relationships have run their course. And there is pretty much nothing in life that I haven't experienced that I can kind of help you through. And I'm not just one chapter ahead. This is the gift of also being, you know, six weeks away from 50 years old, which is crazy to even say. That is something that a certification can't give you. That is something that just life experience can. And through my work, with my own tools, over the last 22 years, as well as just the experiences that I've had. If you are listening right now and you are feeling called to, I highly recommend you go to my website, traceyomalley.com go to the work with me section and fill out a one on one application. It is a stretch, emotionally. It is an investment for sure. I want you to know it is way less than I paid to go to rehab, that's for sure, for one month. But it is the best investment you could make, not just for your business, but also for every area of your life. The compound effect of this kind of work and these kind of tools in your life on the daily it is priceless. And it will go on long after you are done here on earth. I was saying to a client just yesterday that if God decided to take me tomorrow, I know I have done beautiful, beautiful works in the world, but I know I'm not done here. And I know if you are listening right now and this is speaking to you, now is the time. You don't have to be so frustrated with everything anymore. But it is going to require you to do something uncomfortable. Nothing happens when we're comfortable. You know, just gathering information and, you know, figuring things out. I was having this conversation last week with somebody that I care about so deeply that trying to figure things out and understanding it at a cognitive level doesn't build confidence or strengthen your tool belt action does. Uncomfortable, scary action is where confidence is built. Reps build confidence just like with your muscles. You know, like we don't go to the gym one day, do one squat and have that beautiful peachy booty. No, it takes repetition over repetition to build confidence in that muscle, that it has the strength and power to go the distance. And I want to help you go the distance in this life, living it to the biggest dreams that you have. I want you to know that anything is possible and you deserve it. You desire it and I am here to help you deliver it. That's all I'm going to say today. I promised you this would be short and sweet. I just knew this was the timing for this kind of conversation. I know I needed to hear it. I am human too, and I can fall very easily into it. I teach what I need to remember all the time. If this is speaking to you, don't be afraid. One more day. Reach out to me. If you have questions, you can hit me up on Instagram. Tracyomalley Know that I will absolutely push you when you're ready. This isn't for everybody. You may not be in enough pain, quite honestly. And that's okay. It took me 12 years of floundering before, you know, I was in crisis mode. I will encourage you to not wait until you're in crisis mode, but that's usually when we're in enough pain that we'll take the scary action. But don't wait. Don't wait. If you are in a position now where this is like, yeah, this is a hell, yes, I've got your back. I will hold you tight emotionally. There's something to be said about somebody that just gets it and has no agenda other than, you know, being on your team and really supporting you in a way, personally and professionally. I don't know, I just felt the call to share this with you today and just that I care so deeply. I see the gifts that you have. I see the gifts you carry into your homes. I see the gifts you have that you're just ready to bust into the world with. And I don't want them being hidden. One more day and I want you to live out loud. You deserve it. You get one shot at this life. One shot. Don't take one more moment for granted. And I'm here to help you become the ultimate leader in your life. And it is so beautiful to watch you guys step into the very thing that, you know, you're called to do. But it's gonna require you to have some tools in your tool belt. Let me hook you up. All right, you guys, I would love to know how this landed on you. You don't have to do it publicly. I get that this is scary shit. There's something to be said about having somebody in the trenches with you. I know I would have died for me 22 years ago instead of going this alone. It takes courage and takes bravery, and I know you have every ounce of it and I can't wait to see you soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a rich written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.