EP221: The Difference Between Influencer & Leadership and Using the Enneagram to Find Your Sweet Spot

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships? To wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Hello and welcome back to the Leadership Formula Podcast. I am your host, Tracy o', Malley, and today I want to talk to you about the difference between leadership and influence. And the word influencer is so damn cringy. I seriously get an internal eye roll every time I hear, like, they're an influencer. And I have to check myself sometimes because influence is very, very important. But leadership and influence, although they're related and even sometimes used interchangeably, they're not one and the same. And they're both important. Seriously, you know, I identify more as a leader than an influencer. But to be a leader, you have to have influence. To be an influencer, you don't necessarily have to be. And because I think, I'm sure it's the enneagram8 and me, we're natural born leaders, especially when we are healthy, that just influence does not float my boat at all, quite honestly. It feels very shallow to me. But there's nothing wrong with it. And there are some Enneagram types that absolutely. They much prefer that because they're not locked into anything. When you decide you're gonna be a leader, there's a commitment involved, right. And it's a little harder to pivot when you have kind of like, planted your flag and said, this is what it is. So I wanted to talk to you about that. And, you know, if your goal is to become a leader and an influencer, understanding the difference is crucial because they aren't the same. But to be a leader, you have to have some kind of influence. And here's the other thing. Like, I know a lot of you listen because of the Enneagram, and I want you to know that all Enneagram types can be a leader. They can all be an influencer. There are certain Enneagram types that will probably lead, lean more towards influence versus leadership. And like I said, they're both really really important. I just will never be just an influence kind of person. Even when I was in corporate America and I was in sales, whether it was car sales or any other kind of sales, I was always the type of person that was a relationship builder, right? I was not the one that would have the most clients. I was not a turn and burn kind of person. But you needed retention and volume within a small group. That was me. Same thing in my network marketing business. I was talking to somebody yesterday, you know, network marketing, you know, to be successful, typically you have to have a lot of influence in some way, right? And how I leveraged my influence was by becoming a very strong leader and leader developer. So for coaches, whose job it is to help managers, executives, entrepreneurs master the skills they need to lead effectively, subtleties like these matter a big, huge deal, right? So leaders need influence, but not all influencers are leaders. Marketers. Influence, right? I am the worst marketer of all time. I am the worst self promoter. I am a terrible marketer. There's not a lot of rhyme or reason to what I do, but I can tell you how I can help you, right? Like that's what I can do. Leadership demands more than that. It empowers people to do the work themselves, to create a positive, positive future, one that aligns with their values. And leadership helps a system make deep, needed changes. Influence can be values neutral, right? But leadership is not, and it requires having influence and much, much more. Leadership and influence don't always go hand in hand. Like I said, leadership inherently suggests influence. If you're a leader, you are charged to guide and impact outcomes. And influence can result in change, affecting outcomes without necessarily having leadership involved. I mean, you think about, like the Kardashians, for instance. They get paid ridiculous amounts of money for one Instagram post for a product, and they get a kickback of it whether they use the product or not, because they put their name behind it. People freaking buy it. I don't buy into that, but I'm not minimizing the power of good marketing. And also, you know, some influence out there, it's. It's powerful, you know, And I could even ask myself, I have to check myself sometimes. This is where, like, taking your own personal inventory is really, really important. And being compassionately honest with yourself, I'm like, am I, like, envious of that? And it's a big fuck, no. No, I'm not. Here's the thing. If you want to be more of an influencer, not necessarily a leader, you absolutely love attention. And there's nothing Wrong with that. Either significance is really really important to you or you like a lot of options and want to be able to do multip.

Not that girl, right? And there are some of you that prefer to be like in a trench with somebody kind of leading the way out and having that compound effect, right? It just depends on what floats your boat. Like I said, any Enneagram type can be either or. But really deciding which one excites you more and which one is sustainable for you. I could not just pump a product and then call it a day, I just couldn't. It isn't emotionally and intellectually stimulating enough for me. But those that prefer to do more influence work without the leadership component, they can switch at any moment, right? They don't have to have a niche necessarily to do that. And for some of you multi passionate, especially like my Enneagram sevens, even some threes, all types like I said. But they're the ones that really stand out to me, that really enjoy more of that influencer kind of marketing without the leadership component. Another question to ask is are you taking the trail or making the trail? Great leaders affect change in people, places and positions that are familiar. And the ability to rally is not solely dependent on influence, right? Truthfully, a community of followers can be the result of a leader's charisma or well delivered speech. However, an influencer's unique ability to affect change in strangers and have them happily follow to destinations unknown requires more than leadership. Like you gotta have some charisma and some credibility to you in whatever way. I mean if you think about the Kardashians again, there's a lot of people that think like are you freaking kidding me? Like seriously, seriously, the Kardashians, what have they done? Well, they've built multi billion dollar brands and they've been very good at it. So like I follow them, I don't necessarily buy what they're selling, but I follow them because I'm intrigued. Like there's something to be said for being just like this reality star and CREAT created multi, multi businesses that are multi billion dollar companies, that does not just happen. It really really doesn't. Influence can happen without leadership, yet will be fleeting. And for like somebody like me who really is drawn to the intensity of an experience. So if you haven't listened to the episode that just recently came out before this one, I broke down the subtypes of the Enneagram, you know, definitely me as a one to one subtype, I. I am definitely more influenced by intensity of experience. So like I said, you know, being able to have influence is great, but I don't really get a lot of excitement out of just, like, pumping a product or even delivering a speech. And I'm really freaking good at that. Like, I can do a keynote like a boss, but I don't see the experience that happens after that. Right. Like, when you sell a product and you influence and. And do that, you don't get to see, like, the transformation. And I'm obsessed with transformation. That's just who I am. Right. And there are other eights that much prefer to not have that vulnerability factor with another human being. Right. Being a leader has more to do with who you are than influence. Influence can happen without leadership, yet, like I said, will be fleeting. The magic formula is impact plus growth plus leadership. And that usually creates influence. And that's kind of more where I lay. It's funny because I've had my network marketing business for nine years now, and it's well over 120,000 people strong. And I was the girl that started, you know, with no social network. I had less than 400 Facebook friends, and I was like the single mom that went to rehab. But because of the way that I was telling my story and the conviction in which, not only did I tell my story, but the opportunity that I was presenting, whether it was through the product or a business opportunity, and in leadership and working with me, because I did it that way for me, and that is something that really lit me up. It really created an impact fast, and I was able to have an organization. I think my first million dollars I made was with 82 people. But those 82 people, because of, you know, my influence in leadership created 15,000 people from 82. So that is kind of what can happen when you mix the two together. It's pretty, pretty powerful. But not everybody wants to be in trenches with people. And there's nothing freaking wrong with that. If you create areas of impact and growth for others in your life and in your business, as you walk out being who you are as a leader, like, this is really where the secret sauce for influence, impact and leadership, really, that combination creates organic influence, and leaders become beacons for change. And it's funny, my best friend tells me all the time, like, you're the queen of the no sell sell. Like, you don't sell anything. Like, obviously, I just speak truth about what I believe in and what I can do, and, you know, where my skill sets are, and people really just come to the party. Even when I was building my network marketing strong, those first few years, I didn't have to reach out. A lot of times people were coming to me. It's one of those things that sometimes less is more. And if you get to the point where you don't say much, but when you do say something, people pay attention. Like that, for me, is exciting. Exciting. Influencers lead ideas, Leaders lead people. This is really, really important, right? I love the people component again, being that one to one subtype within my enneagram8. I love, love leading people. So like I said, influencers lead ideas, leaders lead people. Influencers come up with ideas no one has ever thought of before. This is why this is like beautiful for an enneagram 7, because they're that enthusiastic visionary. They have that energy and that spunk and that excitement and anything's possible for them, right? Leaders figure out how to formalize those ideas and mobilize teams to turn those ideas into reality. And I was doing a call today, a collaboration call, which for me to even do is huge because I'm kind of that lone wolf. But this was a huge, beautiful opportunity with somebody that I really respect and care about. She is an enneagram7. And we were talking and she was like, so creatively, like, what comes to mind for you? I'm like, listen, coming up with like, I can be a visionary for growth as far as leadership, but as far as creative ideas for new products and things, not my jam. I said, if you can dream it, I can execute it. And she was like, oh, hell yes. She goes, I'm not so great with the execution. I'm like, you just give me the idea that excites you where I'm concerned within your marketplace and we will make that happen. And that's why it's really, I'm going to do an episode on like getting the right people to support your mission and, and smart collaboration, like having a seven and an eight together. We're both very assertive types. One is more of the idea person and one's the more like, let's fucking go, right? So really important to know who you're working with to make things happen as well. The ability to influence is necessary but not sufficient for leadership. Right. When a person influences another, he or she has a specific desired outcome for the influence, right? And judges success based on that target being achieved. This is why this is also good for threes because they love to measure things. Right. Leadership often has that element of influence where you don't necessarily know the roi, right? But it has that element of influence and adds that the person Influenced has grown and developed into a better self, into a more capable, competent and confident person. The ability to influence is necessary but not sufficient for leadership. Right? So one of the things that a lot of people would rather be an influencer because it's very cut and dry, it's very numbers related. It's data where leadership especially like the work that I do, the compound effect of the time that you spend with me, sometimes you don't see, see the ROI right away, but holy shit, do you see it down the road in all areas of your life. I worked with this girl, she's incredible. And she's both. She's influence leader. Like she's incredible. And she came to me and worked with me at the end of 2020 and she was doing great. I mean, I think her business was right under 300,000 at the time, which is great. But she also walked away from like a Fortune 50 company. You know, she was a VP of marketing for that company. So she walked away from quite a hu income to be an entrepreneur. And she knew like she has the skill set, she has the ability to influence. But there was something kind of holding her back. And when she hired me, we worked on more of the leadership, leading herself first so that she can effectively lead a large range of people, the full range of people. Because if you only know how to lead people just like you, you're not only lessening your impact, you're also leaving a hell of a lot of money on the table. And it was funny. So we finished out 2020 working together. We ended in the spring of 2021 and she sent me the report of what her 2021 finished as after our work together. And it was well into seven figures. So this is why I freaking love leadership. And that's the thing. Not everybody would see that her doing some work with me. Granted, she's got a work ethic like nobody's business. Other skill sets came into play. But a lot of times when you have a leader or a guide or a coach helping you, you can't pinpoint like what exactly did it. And for some people that really want to know, like, hey, I had a part in that, or they want the numbers and the data to prove it, you know, that's why sometimes leadership and coaching, like in the trenches with people isn't exciting for them. Nothing wrong with that. We need all walks of life in this world and really surrounding yourself with different components. I have some people in my life, I've got two that I can think of. Ironically, they're both Enneagram sevens. And they love the influence aspect of it. They love the turn and burn and the pivot. And they find a new shiny object that they absolutely love and want to share it with everybody. And they're passionate about it. Like, that's exciting for them. And a lot of times they want somebody like me in their corner to kind of help them when they get bored or feel stale, and how to reignite that passion that they bring to the table, right? Leadership and influence are our siblings, right? To be an effective leader, one must have influence. But to gain influence, one must first lead, right? Even these big influencers, like, again, the Kardashians, they had to lead a charge in some way, and they did in the reality TV kind of land. They broke the mold with what they did. And that's kind of the courage and the willingness to go first sometimes really can gain a lot more influence, because that's brave, right? And it takes some cojones to do that. The most effective leaders are clear on where they have the most influence now, right? And then they can build off of it and grow their influence further. For a manager, an executive influence starts with leading their team, and it grows from there. But in order to lead a strong, effective team, you have to be able to lead yourself, really. Otherwise it's not going to be sustainable. And asking yourself, are you leading by title, influence, or both? All leaders should be influential. However, not all influencers have a title. Authority does not equate to influence. You cannot be fully effective as a leader without some kind of influence, right? And again, I've said that word about a million times in this podcast episode, but influence takes courage. Sometimes you have to be a little polarizing, right? And the ability to stand out in a crowd. Not everybody loves that. But in order to lead, people, there has to have, like. You have to be like, this is the way we're going. Follow me. And if you're not willing to go there solo, the chances of people following you slim down, right? They want to know that you're going to walk this talk. A leader is a person who leads a group of people, an organization or a project, or even one person. An influencer affects a person's behavior, character, and or their development. It takes both to be a leader who makes a real difference. And influence isn't just for leaders, right? One of my friends described herself as the glue that holds the team together. Although she's not in a formal position of leader or manager, she's still someone the team looks to for creative ideas and organizational Change, like, think about bloggers, like, they are beautiful influencers, right? And a lot of times a successful blogger becomes that way first because they found something that there was a problem. One of my good friends, she, she's the owner and creator of get yout Pretty On. Love her. Alison Lombardis, if you're listening, awesome. If you know her, she's incredible. She's become one of the master influencers in the world because she saw something missing in the marketplace specifically for her and her friends. And so she solved a problem. And then over time, you know, people were asking her, wow, you solved this problem. Can you tell me where to get this? Can you tell me where to get this? And now she's got affiliate partnerships and all sorts of things. But it takes some courage to kind of stand out on this island by yourself. You can't just wake up one day and say, I want to be an influencer without any courage to kind of put the spotlight on you. And sometimes, you know, people will talk about you. Influence is nudging. Leadership is magnetically pulling. And when we ask others to go first, we must nudge. Conversely, when we go first, it naturally attracts others, which is what I've been saying. Nudging influences others by only slightly shaping their behavior. But when we lead first, the impact of our influence is multiplied and longer lasting. If you go back to my story about my network marketing business, because I was always going first, the amount of movement and influence and impact I could make with less people was a lot greater. Right? That is what wakes me up every single day. Excited to do this work, right? The lesson, attract others, don't just nudge them. Right? Leadership is about awareness of influence. We all influence others, as moms, as dads, as friends, as people just living a human experience. You know, we have the ability to make a difference in anybody's life on any given day, whether we're pumping gas, gas at the gas station and paying with a credit card indoors, or looking into the eyes of the person that's scanning your groceries. Anything. We all influence others. Leaders, though, are aware of their influence and they calibrate their thinking, their energy and their behaviors to reflect the kind of influence they want to have. They are self and situationally aware. This means that they understand how their focus, behaviors, energy, beliefs, presence can make an impact on others. It really, really, like as an enneagram 8 and a healthy one, I am very aware that when I walk into a room, it's going to be felt. And I don't say it in a cocky way because it can have a negative influence depending on where I'm at emotionally, or it can really create a change in the ripple effect that not everybody can really understand. Right. But also being able to read a situation to understand what kind of language, behaviors, beliefs are needed. And that's why the Enneagram is one of the greatest tools of all time. Really. Really it is. Whether you just choose to do influence work and marketing work strictly that, or if you want to be in the trenches with people. Either way, the Enneagram is really, really an important tool first to understand yourself and maybe what excites you more and why. There are some of you that just want to be influencers, but it's really a struggle for you and it might be based on your Enneagram type and vice versa. There are some like me that are born to lead, but it looks a lot more fun to do the influencer work and it feels a lot less commitment and tied to anything and controlled by anything to do that. But I'm not naturally wired like that. Could I do it? Yes. Do I want to? No. And understanding the framework of my Enneagram type really allows me to make that decision with a lot more clarity and also, like, not play the comparison game. Right. Really, really powerful shit. I would love to know what you think about influencers versus leaders or the ability to be both. They are both very, very important in the world. Like I said, I'm raising somebody who's probably more of an influencer, just with her energy and her excitement for life. And I have another child that definitely prefers to be in the trenches with people and both are equally valuable. And when you really can plant your in which you prefer or a combination of the two, that's when you are able to bring your gifts out into the world. And I would love to be able to help you with that. If you have not been properly enneagram typed and 65 to 70% of you have not. If you really want to dive in deep with how to bring your gifts to the world and monetize it and feel really authentic and for it to feel natural for you and to not feel like, like such a pain in the ass to make happen, I highly encourage you to book an Enneagram kickstart session with me. You can go to Tracey O' Malley.com the work with me section. It will be the most powerful eye opening 90 minutes of your life. And you will walk away with not only your Enneagram type, but knowing how and where and when to use it in a way that feels so beautiful for you. I love doing those sessions. That's all I got for you today. Leadership, influence. All really important in this world, especially in a world that is very confusing right now. We need good people just like you stepping into their gifts, shining their light, planting their flag and saying, come this way with me. It is always my goal to help you become the ultimate leader in your life so that you can do the things that you were called to do in this world. If you love this episode, it would mean the world to me if you went over to the Apple Podcast platform and left a review. If you feel called to do that or take a screenshot, share this episode with somebody or a bunch of people that you think would absolutely benefit from what I bring to the web. The cyber world, the podcast world, whatever. Until next time, you guys.

I'm so.

Happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.