EP223: (SERIES) The THREE Subtypes of the Enneagram TWO: Understanding the Heart of the Considerate Helper

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hello and welcome to the continuing series on Enneagram subtypes on the Leadership Formula podcast. You know, I had talked a few weeks ago about the importance of understanding the subtypes and explaining why you can have two of the same Enneagram types right next to each other and they can appear very different. A lot of you have thought maybe it was about the wing things or even the level of health, which there's some element of truth to that. But the real reason why you can have two of the same Enneagram type right next to each other has everything to do with subtypes. And it's not something a lot of Enneagram information teachers out there talk about because it is complex and it's kind of where nature and nurture collide. Last episode we Talked about the enneagram1 and all the different subtypes and instinctual variances that come along with the Enneagram one and for each Enneagram type there are three subtypes. So if you're doing the math, there are nine basic Enneagram types and if there are three subtypes within each one, quick elementary school math. There are actually 27 instinct based sub personalities and you know, next level understanding of of people and really having them look at you like oh my gosh, you're reading my mind. Understanding the subtypes will help you in that and you know, as much as can identify pretty quickly, because I've been doing this for 10 years, who I'm dealing with, I go even further with it in my curiosity, questioning even with the grocery store, you know, checkout person, like I'm definitely genuinely curious about humans and the puzzle pieces that put us all together. And if you are curious enough and ask the right questions, you can identify pretty quickly who's in front of you and what makes them tick and what their instinctual response to life is. It's pretty, pretty cool. While there is a lot of attention paid to describing the three instincts and the behaviors that come from their influence, you know, there hasn't been much clarity about the subtypes. And so this is why I think it's really, really important to teach it. Again, just hearing this podcast, it takes time. Like reps build confidence. Like understanding information doesn't equal the transformation. It's kind of utilizing it in your life. So my goal with you and everybody that I talk to, whether it's you as a listener or clients that I work with, is to build the muscle, right? A lot of times we'll take this information, throw it up, you know, at the wall and hope something sticks and hope we get it right. And that can be kind of like irresponsible if we're not careful, right? So you guys have heard me say it's not our job to go around typing people. Leave it to somebody like me that has a process and a system that can really help with that. And the subtypes are the reason why 65 to 70% of you are mistyped from those online assessments because they don't take this stuff into consideration. So I'm going to recap what the instincts are versus the subtypes. So the instincts, the three instincts refer to the biological survival drives. There are three of them within the Enneagram world, self preservation, there is the social and the one on one bonding. Okay, so three main instincts, nine types, 27 subtypes. So the three instincts are self preservation, social and one to one. Whether you're talking about a one, a two, three, four, five, six, seven or eight or nine. Okay, but within that you can be a self preservation one versus a social one. Like we talked about last episode, the subtypes are the 27 different personalities. More specific, they're more nuanced version of the main type. It's next level understanding of your people and yourself with distinct traits and patterns that you get when you multiply the three times nine rather than just being added together as in, you know, I'm a type blank with a blank, instinct with a blank. You know that. So really understanding the main type, passion and patterns with a specific dominant instinct and even more as an instinct sequence which at first second because we'll use all three of the instincts, we all use self preservation, we all use the one to one and we all use a social. But usually it's a. There's a stacking to it. Subtypes have also been called instinctual variants by some of the enneagram teachers out there. And that can lead to some confusion. So when I am talking about subtypes, I want you to think about like the instincts within each Enneagram type. Okay. So for the self preservation, these within any Enneagram type, self preservation is kind of like what's going to happen to me when life happens? Their instinct is what's going to happen to me. They focus on physical safety, well being, material security and comfort. This may cause them, when things are happening, for them to conserve or hoard energy and resources in response to demands from the environment, situations, other people. The one on one instinct is kind of like when life happens, what's going to happen to us? Like our small inner circle. Right. That instinct focuses on the intensity of experiences, one on one relationships. And it drives that type, that instinct, to actively seek out opportunities that promise strong, energetic connections with others. This is where I fall in. This one is my main one, my self preservation is my secondary. And my social is more of my blind spot. But the healthier you get, the more you're able to use all three fluidly. And the social instinct, when life happens, what's going to happen to we as the collective? Right. So this social instinct brings a focus on interactions and relationships with communities and groups and a high social awareness of norms and status levels in group. Right. Like, so if you're a social type within one of the nine Enneagram types, when things happen, you might think about what are other people going to think of me? What is the group going to think of me when life happens to a one on one, they might think, what does my family think about me? What does my spouse think of me first? And the self preservation is like, oh my gosh, am I safe? Right? This doesn't feel safe. So that kind of breaks it down. The social instinct focuses energy and working towards shared purpose or the greater good. Okay, really, really cool to understand. Now, this week we're talking about the Enneagram 2 and the subtypes within the Enneagram 2. And like I mentioned last episode, within the three subtypes in each Enneagram type, there's one that's called the counter type. And this is the one that doesn't look typical to the memes, the stereotypes. And it kind of pushes against the passion of each of the Enneagram types. And within each Enneagram type, there is one counter type. And it changes depending on the type. Like for some of them, the self preservation might be the counter type. For other types, it might be the social. And we'll talk about what that means for the enneagram 2. So the self Preservation twos, again, like safety, certainty, security. They seek to gain approval through being charming and youthful that they're the most childlike of the Enneagram twos. They're less oriented to giving. You know, where the two, the considerate helper is all about giving, giving, giving. The Self Preservation 2 isn't as focused on that and are more burdened by helping. They charm others into liking them as an unconscious effort to get people to take care of them. Right. Like I said, they're the most childlike. This is also the counter type, right? Where the other twos like they tend to be over givers. The self preservation 2. There's a little twist to it. They're a little more self indulgent, playful and irresponsible sometimes than the other twos. When they're not so healthy, they're more fearful and ambivalent about connecting with others. The counter type of The Self Preservation 2 sometimes can mistype with a type 7 or a 6. I see this a lot. They are cute and often childlike. Like I said, they inspire protective instincts in others. The Self Preservation 2 wants to be taken care of but resists being dependent on others, hesitant and self protective in taking on long term commitments and responsibilities. And they feel hurt or withdraw when they feel or fear rejection from others. So that is the self preservation 2. This too looks very, very different. I see them mistyped as sevens and sixes all the time. In fact, I have a person in my life that I've. She's probably been the hardest one to type. And it's between a self preservation six and a self preservation two. And so it's very common and sometimes it takes a little longer to figure yourself out. And that's part of the Enneagram journey. But you know, having a guide like me can really escalate this and get you on the right path. Using the soul roadmap of the Enneagram. All right. The one to one twos gain approval through being generous and attractive. They emphasize their personal appeal and promises of support to make others like them and do things for them. This is a more emotional, passionate two who seduces specific individuals. And I know it sounds like God, that sounds manipulative. And if you're a 2, I don't want you to like take this, you know, and shame yourself with it. Because I know the underlying emotion for my twos, their natural go to is shame. This is just that underlying motive to be loved and appreciated and liked that, you know, depending on the experiences you've had earlier in your life, you can learn how to feel safe, feel certain to make sure your environment is a okay, to make sure your status in a group is okay. So you know, just know that when you're triggered, it's usually because this has been kind of, you know, poked a little bit. Now the one on one enneagram 2 focuses their talents and seductive abilities and energy on attracting and building strong, intimate relationships. I believe my son is more of the one on one enneagram 2. In close relationships, the one on one enneagram two are able to feel trust and assert their needs more clearly. They are a little bit more expressive. They are very strong willed, flexible, passionate and even wild at heart, which can cause them being mistyped. As an enneagram4, they're probably the most emotional of the Enneagram Twos, highly devoted. In close relationships they might find it difficult to accept limits or take no for an answer. You know, when my son wasn't his healthiest and when he's under stress, like especially if him and I are going at it and I know I'm going to explode on him, which could really not be good. And I say like, I need a little bit of time. They don't really love that because they. They don'. They need their needs met right now. And they're so used to taking others needs into consideration that like it can really trigger them. The social twos. So now we are into the social subtype of the Enneagram Twos. They're the most ambitious, I would say, seek to gain approval from others through being powerful, competent and influential. A lot of times this is where you might be mistyped as a 3. I see this all the time. Threes that are mistyped as threes that are actually social twos. They're very influential. They're more a powerful leader type person. My son probably falls here too. And they take charge of things and play to a larger audience as a way of proving their value. So for all you Enneagram threes that are maybe extra sensitive, this might be why. This might be why you might be asocial too. Instead, this too uses their seductive powers in a more intellectual way to attract and engage groups, communities and broader systems. They stand out in the crowd and from the crowd, often taking a central or leadership role. They enjoy being in the know and build their influence on their competence and connections, giving more than they get, maybe a strategy to distract them from uncomfortable feelings. They are definitely less childlike, where the self Preservation can be more childlike. The social subtype of the two is kind of more assertive. Their ambition and influence can mistype them. As a three, like I said, and sometimes even an eight. I see a lot and you would think like an 8 and a 2. How does that happen as a mistyping? It does. It does that Social 2 has kind of a posture and a command presence. But underneath it all, there's a totally different motive than that of the eight. So you can see like understanding, like what motivates you at an instinctual level, aside from just knowing the passion of your Enneagram type can really, really help you and in helping other people. When I'm breaking down teams and families, I don't just break them all up by Enneagram type. I group them by instinctual variances too, because I think it's really, really important. I just did a corporate executive team. There were nine or ten people and four of the nine fell into self preservation. Four of the nine fell. Only one fell into the one on one. And really understanding how these instincts work when crisis happens or when things happen or even excitement happens, right? And matching that with their core. Enneagram type brings you next level understanding, which allows you to have more compassion for yourself and others. It's the unsung kind of thing that's talked about because it does make things more complicated. You know, I know a lot of you just want to take a test and boom, here I am with my Enneagram type and all you human design f how that works. This is very different. This is bringing, you know, spirituality with psychology, nature and nurture. It isn't as simple as typing in your birth date or taking an online test. There is more complexities to it. But I promise you, once you have the proper information, the possibilities are endless. With the soul roadmap and the ability to get unstuck, the ability to catch yourself with compassion when you sabotage the ability to communicate more effectively with other people and in essence, you know, bring out the best in them and, and lead them in a way that empowers them and empowers the. The mission that you are on, whether as a family, as a team, as an organization, as a company, it's pretty amazing. And that being said, like I said, you can take an online test. Just know 65 to 70% of the time it's going to be inaccurate. You can do a typing session with me, right? And you will know for sure. We will have your type, your subtype, your wings. We'll talk about all of it. I'll give you all the goods. That is amazing. And currently I am doing those typing sessions. But things are changing here soon, really soon, you guys. And I'm going to be able to type more of you at a mass scale, accurately, and it's going to be very, very exciting. But if you are wanting more of that one on one VIP tour guide through your Enneagram type, then I strongly encourage you to book a typing session right now while I still have them available to you. Or if you want to take yourself through the Enneagram experience with me, those are currently available. Not much longer, not much longer will I be doing the Enneagram experience. This is like having the Fast Pass VIP tour guide at Disneyland. Like you know that you're going to see all the good stuff, get all the goods, have the most magical experience and that's what doing those sessions with me might look like. But coming soon, I am promising there is some really great stuff coming that will allow me to help more of you get typed properly. And if you are, you know, the head of a family or part of a family or part of a team, an organization that you know the value in understanding each other would bring increasing profits, productivity, passion, culture, communication, turnover, you know, family dynamics. I do team and family workshops. For more consulting, I do that customized like I do with a lot of the bigger corporations. But if you are a team leader or a mastermind facilitator or a retreat facilitator, this is a beautiful way to bring me into the mix and allow you to more effectively lead those that you love and those that you are here to make a difference in their lives. It is powerful and, and like I said, we don't just get you an Enneagram type, we get your subtype nailed down too. It's powerful, powerful, powerful stuff. I would love to hear from my Enneagram Twos how this sat with you. If you know your subtype, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it on the Instagram. Tracyomalley I'd love to hear what you got out of this episode. If you are gaining so much from this podcast, it'd mean the world to me. If you share it with people that you love or lead or your communities that you know can benefit from this. You can take a screenshot or leave a review on any cast formats, whether it's Spotify or the pod, Apple podcast app, whatever. That's how I will be able to touch more of you and go on other shows and spread the beautiful information about the Enneagram and it means a lot to me because I know so many of you have fallen in love with the Enneagram and you've learned some things from other people along the way. And I can't tell you how much it means to me that you know, I am a little bit different than any of the other Enneagram teachers facilitators out there. I am the queen of integration. I absolutely am. I'm not the best information like content creator, certainly I'm not. I don't claim to be. But I can tell you exactly what to do with this in your life so that you can move the needle personally and professionally. And I just really thank each and every one of you that have taken the time and made the effort to reach out and tell me that. But there is a difference in the thing that I do here with the Enneagram and is why I'm so passionate about it. Because it's great information. It really really is. And it's fun to learn about yourself. But if you don't know what to do with that information, it's just really like having expensive tools in your toolbox. And I'm all about you getting the most bang for your buck out of this life that you are gifted so you can go to Tracey O' Malley.com the work with Me section currently for the Enneagram Kickstart is a live typing session with me. Most powerful 90min probably will ever have in your life. You'll never feel more seen, heard, understood and valued for who you are. Or if you know you want like the whole shebang, just go for the Enneagram experience which is a typing session plus five one on one hours with me. Or if you know you want to eat, breathe, sleep and talk this 247 with access to me every single day for three plus months then fill out an application. It is not for the week of heart. It is is only for those that are absolutely ready to say like enough with the bullshit, I'm here for it. It's a lot of real in the trenches work with you in real time when life is happening. It's like the free phone a friend option with me in your back pocket. Seriously for three months if you know you're ready and you've done all the things and hired other people and it's just gone to shit. Or you might even have some PTSD from other coaches or programs. I get a lot of you that fall for the shiny objects and the people that promise all this inner child healing in a workshop that lasts 40 minutes or you to build a multimillion dollar business and brand in five seconds. I'm not going to promise this is easy. It's really hard work. This is your life's work and this is how you squeeze the juice out of every ounce of life. And if you know you're ready for that, go fill out a one on one application and we will see if you are a good fit. I don't take everybody. I'm very, very very selective on who I will take because I don't want you getting into something you're not ready for. I really really won't because I want you to have the journey that you're ready for at any given time. And yeah, go to Tracey O' Malley.com the work with Me section Again. I appreciate each and every one of you checking in to the podcast every week and sharing it with others. It's how I can help more of you every single day to become the ultimate leader in your life.

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