EP229: (SERIES) The THREE Subtypes of the Enneagram EIGHT: Making Sense of the Misunderstood Active Challenger

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships, to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

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Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula podcast. And we are going to continue the series on the Enneagram subtypes. And this is like, for those of you Enneagram junkies, those that are new to falling in love with it, this is like the master's program of the Enneagram. And this is an important part of the puzzle. For those of you that really want to use this as a tool, this is like next level understanding. When I kind of understood this, this is when people really started to say, like, oh my gosh, are you like, stalking me? Do you read my mind? It's powerful, powerful, powerful information that will allow you to communicate more effectively with people. The Enneagram subtypes are something that's not talked about a lot of in Enneagram land and a lot of the information teachers out there, because it is complex. It is the thing next to trauma and some stuff that really is why 65 to 70% of you are mistyped on the Enneagram. Because a lot of those online assessments can't take your instinctual reaction to things that have happened in your life into account. Artificial intelligence is amazing for a lot of reasons, but the subtypes and understanding the subtype process and how they can really change how your Enneagram type is expressed is a powerful thing. I love doing Enneagram typing sessions because we go over this, right? You know, so if you are somebody that loves the Enneagram, wants to dive deeper into it, you. You're not sure, or it's not resonating with you around your Enneagram type, or, you know, you're not. It's not clicking. And you know how powerful of a tool it is because you've maybe heard about it from other people. You've been listening to this show. You know, I've been in the personal development land for 22 years, and the last have included the Enneagram. And I can tell you this. Next to my faith, the number one tool in my life is the Enneagram. In all areas of my life, every single area, personally, professionally, with my health, in my friendships, in my romantic life, in my parenting, especially in my business and leadership, the Enneagram is my number one tool. And as I've learned it and integrated it and now teach it and consult people and organizations and businesses and corporations and teams with it, you know, understanding the subtypes is really important. And in fact, when I work with teams, I don't just separate everybody by Enneagram types. I actually also dive deep into the subtypes within the Enneagram as well within the organization. Because how a self preservation type of any Enneagram type reacts versus like a social or a one on one can look very, very different. And not just based on their Enneagram type. So we are diving deeper. If you want to dive deeper through a kickstart session with me, you can go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section to do that. You can hit me up on Instagram @tracyomalley if you have questions about that. And coming soon, I am bringing something where more of you can be typed properly, including understanding your subtype, your wings, your growth number, your stress number, and the entire framework of your true Enneagram type. I'm very excited for that. More to come on that. Well, today we are continuing the subtype series on the Enneagram 8. The Active Controller, the Protective Challenger. Yours truly is an enneagram 8. And the passion of the Enneagram type is lust. Right. We have this insatiable need for intensity in our lives and how that looks amongst the three different kinds of Enneagram eights is very, very different. And if you haven't listened to the previous episodes on the subtypes, I will break down the three instinctual variances very quickly for you. They're sometimes known as the subtypes. That's why I'm kind of explaining both. These three instincts refer to our biological survival drives. We have self preservation, we have one to one bonding, and we have the social instinct. So there's three main instincts within each Enneagram type. So with nine Enneagram types with three instincts amongst each of them, you do the math. There's 27 different subtypes, so there's actually 27 different personalities. What I usually will tell people is like really understand the three centers of intelligence first, right? And each center of intelligence has three enneagram types. And then within those Enneagram types are three subtypes. But if you start with the centers of intelligence first and really master that, then move on to the Enneagram types and then move on to this, this is really, really cool. So the subtypes are more nuanced versions of the main type with distinct traits and patterns that when you kind of break down what each type is with these, it will make a lot more sense. Right. Like I said, subtypes have also been called instinctual variants by some Enneagram teachers and authors. So I'm going to stick to calling it subtypes, just so you know. Okay, so the Enneagram 8, like I said, the passion of the 8 is lust. And the three subtypes of the type 8 express that passion of lust in three distinct ways. And first, we're going to start with the self preservation. Now, the self preservation type in any of the nine Enneagram types, when life happens, when things happen, they kind of go into like, what's going to happen to me, right? This instinct focuses on physical safety, well being, material security and comfort. And when life and stress kind of hit them, they will go to conserve or hoard energy and resources in response to those demands. Right? The one on one instinct or subtype in any of the Enneagram types has this drive to put themselves into the environment and form alliances. It's the one on one bonding, passing DNA or leaving a legacy. So this instinct, when life happens, like, what's going to happen to us, my inner circle? This instinct focuses on the intensity of experiences and those one on one relationships driving that subtype to actively seek out opportunities that promise strong, energetic connections with others. That's where I fall in. And the third one is the social. When life happens, things go sideways or really beautifully. What's going to happen to we as the collective, the group? So the social instinct has a drive to get along with others and form secure social bonds. They bring a focus on interactions and relationships with communities and groups and a high social awareness of norms, status levels and groups. And this instinct focuses on energy working towards shared purpose or the greatest good. Okay, now within these subtypes, there is one that kind of doesn't fit the others, right? And that's called the counter type. And I'll explain that when I get there. So for the self preservation 8, the self preservation 8 is strong, direct and productive and appears powerful and effective. The Self Preservation 8 is confident in even the most challenging of situations. They are survivors and are pillars of strength. So the core motive of the eight is to be strong, to not be put in a vulnerable situation. Their biggest fear is being betrayed or violated or being vulnerable. So that's where that active controller protective challenger comes into play. So with the self preservation eight, a lot of times the self preservation one will take on the role of guardian, father or mother figure. When The Self Preservation 8's needs are not satisfied, they become frustrated and intolerant and tend to take a direct, no nonsense approach to get what they want without guilt or apology. Their subtype key is like satisfaction. So they express this lust through a strong need to get what's theirs, to obtain what they need for survival. The self preservation 8 tends to feel omnipotent, able to satisfy and meet any need. The title given to that type of satisfaction because this person has a strong desire for timely satisfaction of material needs and an intolerance of frustration. And what I have said about the subtypes, we use all three, we use all three of these instincts, but one will dominate, one's usually a secondary and then one's kind of a blind spot. So in my life I definitely float between the self preservation and the one on one where the social instinct is more my blind spot. I just wanted to let you know, you do use all three, but one is usually like your main driver. Self preservation aids go after what they need without talking about it very much. Dealing with a self preservation 8, there is no nonsense, no worries, no pretenses and no wordplay. They're bottom line me people. There's a sense that The Self Preservation 8 feels compelled to go for what they want in a strong and direct way without any fuss or explanations. They have a hard time being patient as well. This is where the self preservation is a little bit like the one to one who also expresses the sense that he has to get what he or she wants, getting things and getting away with it. The driving need of The Self Preservation 8 is an exaggerated ability to take care of oneself and one's needs. You could say the need is like an exaggerated selfishness a little bit. It can feel very self absorbed to be in the presence of a self preservation aid at times. There are people who know how to do business. They know how to barter and bargain and get the upper hand over anyone. And it's funny, when it comes to business and money, I very much am self preservation. Self preservation eights are characters who know how to survive in the most difficult situations and how to get what they want from other people. The Self Preservation 8 is the most armed and protected. Of all the eights, they are a more 5 ish 8. A lot of fives that are mistyped as eights or a lot of eights that are mistyped as fives. This is, this is where this subtype really comes into play. They devalue the world of feelings. The self preservation eight can also be confused with a one on one. Like I said, I kind of bounce between the two pretty effortlessly. But the one on one is very different from the eight. The one is over social and the eight is under social a little bit. So if you are a self preservation 8 or love or lead one, how you can help them or help yourself is to move toward the virtue of innocence through learning to allow for a wider range of feelings, especially the vulnerable ones, because that's what makes us actually most powerful of all. And since eights love a sense of power and having the upper hand in strength, vulnerability is where that lies. But it's really challenging for them and expressing more thoughts and emotions, especially in relationships. It helps for them to try to meet the challenge of consciously developing trust, depending more on others for fulfillment of their needs. It's really hard for an 8, but I've been doing this and although it's still really, really uncomfortable, it is where, like all the magic happens. Now, the one on one enneagram8, which is where I fall mainly, like I said, I bounce between those two. The 1 on 18 is a passionate and charismatic character who goes against social conventions in a provocative way. They are the most intense on the entire Enneagram. And I would say the one on one enneagram8 woman is probably the most misunderstood of all 27 different subtypes as well. So you know you're learning from the most unique, intense motherfucker on the Enneagram. Our subtype key is possession. So one on one eights have a strong antisocial tendency. You know, if you know me and you know me well, I am the queen of the Irish duckout, right? Like now you see me, now you don't. People with the one on one subtype are provocative. People who express lust through rebellion and openly saying that their values differ from the norm. The one in one eight is the most rebellious of the eight subtypes and interestingly also the most emotional. This eight, there is a detachment of the intellect. There's a lot of acting and passion, but not as much thinking. Out of all the centers of intelligence, I use thinking the least. In fact, yesterday I spent all day thinking and I wanted to poke my eyes out the 1 to 18 is more outspoken with their rebellion. They like to be seen as bad or they don't mind being seen as bad. I am always okay to be thrown under the bus and being the bad guy. One on one eights don't respect rules and laws. It's almost a matter of pride to go against the stream of convention. The name given to the 1 to 1 8, like I said, is possession. And this 8 displays the idea of possession in that he or she takes over the whole scene energetically becoming the center of things, especially if we don't trust the person in charge. One to one eights like to feel their power through grabbing everyone's attention, which is funny because I don't love being the center of attention, but sometimes it's just an instinctual thing and I end up there. They don't seek material security, but seek to get power over things. Right? One to one eights can be fascinating and charismatic, like I said, and their power comes through a kind of seductiveness and intensity that differentiates them from the other two eight subtypes. So when I was saying that, like the one on one enneagram8 woman, you can see where this can be the most misunderstood on the entire enneagram type. And I absolutely have used this in my dysfunctional ways in the past and now I use it in a beautiful way, right? The one on one eights have more colors in their feathers. They are more magnetic and more outspoken. As the most emotional of the eights, the one to one subtype displays a great deal of passion for things. And this passion may at times get expressed through expressions of emotions and vulnerability that may seem surprising to others and out of the norm for the typical eights. Right? This eight probably won't get mistaken for another type very often being a very eightish eight. But it can resemble a one to one four in its intensity and ability to express anger. Ironically, I am dating a 4. So, like, you can see how this can be very passionate and intense and why we really do understand each other at a deep, deep level. Now, eights can be hard to lead. They and they're hard to love sometimes, but we are awesome and we will always have your back, especially when we're at our best. But if you love one or you are one or you lead one. Helping these eights, the one on one eights move toward innocence through exploring and sharing their emotions more consciously as a way to own their vulnerability. It also helps them to observe and explore your need to rebel to see what underlying needs this might be expressing. This is where all my work has been, all of it. The 101A can also benefit from thinking things through more, not just feeling and acting. And like the power of the pause will be this subtype's best friend. And finally, the social subtype 8. This is the counter type. This is the one that doesn't look quite like the other. The social eight has a need to protect others and go up against those who commit injustices. So Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa were both social enneagram eights. Solidarity is their keyword. The social 8 is the counter type of the 8. Social eights represent a contradiction. This 8 is a rebellious person, or the 8 is a rebellious person who often goes against social norms. But the social 8 is also oriented toward protection and loyalty. This is a social antisocial person. They express lust and aggression in the service of life and of other people. Right. So you can see Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, not your girl right here. Right? Donald Trump was probably more of a one on one enneagram eight. So in contrast to the self preservation eight, the social eight is more loyal and less aggressive. A social eight is a helpful eight. And I can bounce here, but it is probably my least out of the three instincts is the one I go to the least. The Social 8 is one who's concerned with the injustices that happen to others. And yet there's also an antisocial element to this character with regard to the rules of society. Symbolically, the social eight represents the child who became tough or violent in protecting his mother against his father. Right. This is someone who bands together with the mother and goes against the patriarchal power. This isn't all social eights, but you can see how that can happen. While this eight social subtype develops a strong ability to care for and protect others with regard to themselves, there is an unconscious giving up of the need for love of the inner child and a compensatory movement toward power and pleasure. They like the power a group offers and can in the extreme tend toward going at this as a group and self abandoning a little bit. Social eights are very sensitive to detecting situations in which some people are being persecuted or exploited by others and hold more power. And when they detect this thing, they tend to act to protect those that are less powerful. Right. They engage in constant action. Action is where they lose themselves. So overall, this 8 appears more mellow and friendly and less quick to anger than the other eights. They tend to rebel in more subtle, less obvious ways than the other eights. Social eights can look like nines or twos quite often, especially female eights, right? Because they can be very relationship oriented and less obviously aggressive than the other eights. But they can be distinguished from these other types in that they are still quite assertive and rebellious. So if you love, lead or are a social eight, how you can help them work stronger at the optimal, you know, level of health for themselves, they can move toward that innocence. Through learning how to be more consciously aware of and protective of their inner child. They grow, developing as much care toward their own young self as they show to others. It also helps them to evolve if they can allow themselves to open up to receiving more love and care for other people. They're sensitive. They are very, very sensitive. And even though, like this Social 8 prefers not to be too vulnerable, they invite and appreciate tough feedback from close allies. You know, this challenger, they have the ability to change the world. They really, really do. And if you are one, you know, really learning how to harness the gift of the vulnerability and your intensity in a way that really helps, you know, all the other types, you know, be their very best. But you have to be able to honor your own vulnerability first. It has been some of the most beautiful work I have done. You know, the 8 is never going to change. Being an 8, I am still intense as hell. I joke. Eights eat intensity for breakfast. We really, really do. We are not afraid of conflict. We are not ones to back down from any fight. And sometimes the eight will, you know, stir the pot or create chaos to prove how strong they are. There were times in my life that, you know, if I wanted changes to happen, I would just, like, create drama, you know, not just in my life, but other people's life to prove how strong I was. And it was a subconscious move. But because we have this, this passion of lust, like we crave it. We crave it. And learning how to kind of sit back, listen, observe. I still have that intensity, but knowing that I don't have to, you know, lead with that intensity all the time, in fact, I get stronger the more I kind of sit back in that intensity and let it brew so that when it really is to pull it out, and it really is the right tool in the toolbox to pull out, it is more powerful than if I've been operating in that intensity all the time. And this is where the framework of the Enneagram 8 really can help in becoming the best version of your eight ness, right? Whether you're self preservation, the one on one, or the social eight, you know, using the seven Wing and the nine wing. To really offer feedback to the eight in you, to push you towards your growth number, which is the two, right? That considerate, compassionate helper. It has been so powerful, and the more vulnerable I get, the stronger I get. And so for every enneagram 8 out there, when I understood that my power was really in the vulnerability and a genuine vulnerability in real time. And there's only maybe three or four people that ever see that part of me in real time. And even those three or four people, it's really challenging for me to do. Really, really is because that means I have to, like, depend on somebody. And most eights, that's why they are, you know, this force in the world is, you know, they. They have a belief that if they rely on somebody, they can be betrayed or violated. Right? And there is an element of truth to that because we're freaking human beings. We're human beings and we're going to disappoint people. I certainly disappoint people all the time. But when we can lean into that and really go and lean into the innocence, that's where the gifts of the eight can come out and really serve a greatest, greatest good. Oh, my gosh, you guys. I know if you love or lead an 8, we can be a tough bunch. I spent the weekend, you know, having my best friend, who's one of the best coaches in the world, work with me on some stuff, you know, the thinking center of intelligence, which is as that one on one ate the least place I go. I was very rebellious this weekend. Thankfully, she knew that. And even when I got a little spicy and aggressive, she knew it was coming and I articulated it. But it is in that vulnerability of letting her know how scary what we were doing was for me, how vulnerable this is for me and that this resistance she's feeling for me. She knows me better than anybody and knows the eight because I've taught her what that means and how to bring out the best in me. I still wasn't fun to work with. And the thing is, is most people wouldn't have worked that hard with me, and most haven't in my life. And that's how, you know, I proved it to be true. See, if it's to be, it's up to me, but then I can't do what I'm here to do, right? And so it required me to be vulnerable. And if you love lead or are an enneagram8, know that I see you, I get you, I've got your back. I work with tons of eights because they know that I get it and I get them. We're a unique bunch. We all are a unique bunch. But it's really hard to get close to an eight. But when we allow people into our lives, it's what we've craved our entire we really do want people to have our back. We want people to step into the fire with us. We just don't trust that if you do, you'll stay. So if you are going to be with an 8, love or lead an 8, make sure that you do what you say you're going to do. When you say you have their back, that you have it. Because if they trust you, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. And my eights out there, it's important that you find your people. It is. And it's going to require you to be vulnerable. There has to be an even vulnerability exchange for you to find quality people that can actually say they have your back and really do it again. If you are somebody that is intrigued by the Enneagram, you love it. You are learning about it. You want to use this beautiful tool in your life. I would be honored to take you on this journey and give you not only the correct information, but show you how to integrate it in your life so you can use the tool. Because the information doesn't mean anything. It doesn't equal transformation. The integration of the information is where the magic happens and I would love to be the magician to show you how it works. You can go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section. Do an Enneagram Kickstart session. It will be the most powerful 90 minutes of your life. You will never feel more seen, heard, understood and valued. I promise you. And you will have all the right information to take the framework of your Enneagram type, including your subtype, and really accelerate the transformation you desire. If you love this episode or you love lead or rn enneagram8, take a screenshot. Share it. Let me know what you loved about it. I think the more people that can understand the crazy that is the fellow Enneagram Eights, the more that we can be of service and lean into that vulnerability even more. And if you love what we are doing here on the Leadership Formula podcast, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or threw some stars my way. Whatever you feel is necessary and is true for you. It's how we will be in front of more people to help bring the Enneagram integration into the world personally and professionally. And the compound effect of this is magical. I love you guys. I appreciate you. As always, I'm here to help you become the ultimate leader in your life. We'll see you next time.

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