EP231: The Enneagram Does Not Replace Your Faith-It Empowers and Strengthens It So You Can Be and Do What You Were Always Designed to Do

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships? To wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the Leadership Formula Podcast. I am your host, Tracy o', Malley, and today we are going to talk about something that comes up a lot. It was something that came up for me 10 years ago when I was introduced to the Enneagram as well. And you know, there's a lot of schools of thought on personality tests and anything that brings self awareness to the surface. And I get this, like, especially if you are somebody that has a strong faith and I do too. I want you to know that it does not replace that. It does not replace divine powers calling on my life. Right? The Enneagram is not the end all, be all. You know, I am somebody who loves astrology. I am somebody that loves anything that allows me to understand myself better. And, you know, there are a lot of people out there that shit on the Enneagram. And I get it. I don't judge them. I understand that that might even be you. And you might be on your own journey of acceptance of this. And I was that person. So 10 years ago, when I was introduced to the Enneagram, it was by my therapist. I was in rehab, so clearly things weren't going well. And my therapist explained it to me because I was like one of those things I don't want to label. I don't want something to put me in a box. I don't want to make fucking excuses for why I where I'm at or sometimes for my shitty behavior, right? I was taking full ownership, right? And that might be you. You might be taking full ownership of your life. And you don't want this system or framework to put you in a corner or to give you a way out, right? Or to hold you back or any of those things. And I want you to know I get it. But sometimes you don't get it until you get it. And it doesn't replace anything in your life. And, you know, the fact of the matter is, most of us have experienced a lot of hard things in our life. You know, you caught little trauma, big trauma. And honestly, the little traumas add up to a hell of a lot. And it's those little things along the way that really chip away at the divine calling on our life, the divine spirit, the steps that have been ordered by the Lord. You know, you pick the phrase that feels right for you, right? But I know if you are listening to this podcast right now, you're frustrated. You aren't maybe where you want to be personally, professionally, relationally, as a parent, as a business owner, as an employee, whatever that looks like for you. You don't set out listening to things if everything is going great. And I get that. I get that. And the reason I love the Enneagram is I knew since I was a little girl. I was a little girl, I was about nine years old the first time I knew, like, and I was praying to God, I was like, God, I know that you have something beautiful for me, but my life is a shit show. My home life is awful. I am scared every day. I wake up not knowing what's going to happen. Seriously, I was nine years old the first time I prayed like that. And over the course of the next, you know, 30 years or so, life kept kind of hitting me between the eyeballs a little bit. And there were moments that things were, you know, going great, and then there were times they weren't so great, and there were times that, you know, my own best thinking got me in quite the pickle, right? And what the enneagram gave me 10 years ago when I. When I basically told my therapist she could take this Enneagram thing and shove it, basically, she just loved me right where I was at. And she said, my dear, I understand that life has been hard, and I understand that not all of it is your own doing. And, you know, you have put yourself in a box. The world, your family, whatever has put you in a box. The Enneagram can help you find your way out, and it can help you step into what you were always designed to be. And, you know, clearly my best thinking had gotten me into a situation. And, you know, a lot of the coping mechanisms I use, the alcohol, the food, the anger, the codependency, the workaholism, you name it. I've used it to deal with my anger, with my sadness, with my fears, with pain, you name it. And my self will had kind of run riot a little bit. And my therapist, with so much Tough Love said that to me. And I said, you know what? You got a point there. And I don't want to keep doing the same thing over and over, because expecting a different result while I'm doing that creates insanity in my life. And not just for me, the people that I love, the people that I lead. And so I open my mind up to the gift of the Enneagram. And, you know, you've heard me say before, like, information doesn't equal transformation. And if you are somebody that's listening right now that, you know, maybe has read up on the Enneagram, that's not going to miraculously find your way out of a hole. It takes the integration of it and an unconditional commitment to really using the framework to lean into the divine calling on your life. You know, when you do an Enneagram typing session, kickstart session with me, you know, we spend 90 minutes on it. And it isn't just me kind of teaching you the Enneagram. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We kind of uncover what's been there the whole time, right? A lot of people come to me and they feel like something needs to be fixed. Maybe you're feeling that, or that you're broken or that something's missing in you. I felt that way, too. I felt like just such a piece of shit, quite honestly, a decade ago. I felt like, God, what kind of example am I going to be for my kids? How am I supposed to show them, you know, that anything's possible and to go after their dreams and to be the best version of themselves when I was about half of what I could have been, right? And so I opened my mind up because, you know, my roadmap that I had and the roadmap that was presented to me in the home that I grew up in, you know, although it served its purpose and I got a lot of great destinations from that roadmap, more often than not, it led me down a path that wasn't for me. And when my therapist and I really dove into my eightness, and ironically, I was mistyped originally as an enneagram3. And on the outside, you know, I can look very three like, behaviorally. But definitely we determined very, very quickly that I'm not motivated remotely like a three. And the Enneagram is based on motives. And the thing is, is if you've experienced a lot of hard things in your life, the very thing that motivates you and your biggest fear is usually covered up by a bunch of things to protect it. Because Our motives and our fears are our most vulnerable parts of us. And if you've experienced pain, trauma, abuse, you know, insert whatever that is for you, unlocking what that true motive is may take some time. So anyway, we determined very quickly I was not a three, but actually an eight. And when I looked at that, I was like, okay, yes, this is true. And had this been introduced to me maybe 15 or 20 years ago, you're damn right I would have used the eight in me as an excuse to continue to be an asshole. Because if you think about it like, you know, astrology, I'm an Aries. And you know, the Aries are known to be very feisty and fiery. It's a fire sign after all. And very blunt and straight shooting. And there were times that I used not just my Aries ness, but my Irish heritage to drink myself silly, to be angry. I mean, I've said this before on this show. I was born almost 100% Irish. I was born to drink and fight. And I used that label, that thing to make excuses for why I was the way I was. And had had the Enneagram been introduced to me before, I would have used it the same way, right? And like, well, I'm just an eight hole, so deal with it. And I see sometimes, obviously in this work, people want to know their type because they to give themselves an excuse to get out of things. And that's not the way to use it in integrity. Now if you want to continue to use it to label people or yourself, then this probably isn't the show for you. My goal, every time that I talk to anybody about the Enneagram, and I talk every single day about it, you know, it's gotten to the point now where, you know, I run into people all the time, in all circles. They know I'm the girl that can talk Enneagram talk. And you know, a lot of times I'll get a lot of questions about that. And my goal in helping you integrate the Enneagram in your life is to give you the roadmap back to your soul's calling, back to what God the divine had planned for you all along, before life kind of got a hold of you and kicked you in the teeth, right before you got scared, before you hid behind walls like I did, before you started projecting your shit onto people, before your fear and anxiety left you crippled in a corner, before your over giving led you down a spiral of codependency where you believe your worth is in what you do for others or what you achieve out in the world, the framework of the Enneagram is just the roadmap back to the calling of your soul. Your soul roadmap. And when used the right way, that is exactly what you get out of it. And, you know, highlighting the parts of your Enneagram type that maybe aren't so favorable, the blind spots, the shadow side, you can use those too in a positive way. You have to be aware of them and understand where it's rooted from so that you can use it to not only course correct, but to have compassion for yourself and for other people and understand that it's just used as a compass, not as an excuse. You know, I know there's a lot of beautiful, beautiful people of faith that listen to my show. And you know, my faith is very, very strong. I do say the word fuck.

I'm rough around the edges, but my faith and my conn connection to a higher power in God is very, very strong. And I know there are some beliefs around the Enneagram that end astrology and all those things that maybe the religious people don't love very much because the word of God is the way. And you're right, I believe that like the word of God, however you interpret it, yeah, it can be interpreted any way possible. One of the things that, you know, I learned in rehab and 12 step programs and all of that, it's one of those things where you take what you need and leave the rest. And I think sometimes in the religious world there's guilt and shame attached to that. Like if you don't do it this way, then you're going to hell. It's very black and white sometimes. And I believe that a lot of times it's left up to interpretation. And I remember even sitting in some of my early AA meetings, there are atheists. They were devout religious people. There were, you know, people that have believed like I did, but, you know, couldn't trust fully and surrender. That was where I was a decade ago. I had a strong faith since I was a little girl. But the evidence that there was a God out there didn't always seem evident, even though I know it was right. And what I have learned over the last decade in, you know, blazing trails for people and lighting the path for maybe those of you that have lost your way, is that sometimes we have to speak in a language where people can and understand. I'm not going to lie. Because of some of the harsh criticism and judgment that can come from the religious world, a lot of people have turned their nose up on the very thing that divine, beautiful power that is guiding you. Right? And I remember my son asking me when I talked about recovery, why I didn't tie it to the Bible as much. And although I. And you know, he knows my faith is strong and I believe in God and all of that. And what I said to him is usually when we're most broken is when we can't always hear things the cleanest way that it's expressed. And sometimes we have to. That's the beauty of the Enneagram, too. But sometimes we have to communicate in a way that the message can be heard. And I hate to break it to many of you that are Christian or whatever, but sometimes speaking the word of God the way it was written doesn't interpret the way that it was intended to others. And some of the things that I have learned in recovery and using the Enneagram and my own faith and my own interpretation of faith, the way that I've worded it along the way has helped tens of thousands of people. And although I believe that in my heart that the Enneagram is rooted in a divine higher power, not everybody believes that. Not everybody believes it. I've spoken before that if there is a divine higher power, which I believe there is, they are an Enneagram. Nine, right? Like that. God, Jesus, the universe, whatever you call it. And I have no judgment. I used to be really judgy. I used to think, well, you should believe in God and the way that it is, you know? But you know what? You take what you need and leave the rest. I do believe you need to believe in a higher power, whatever you call it, that's up to you. But one of the gifts of the Enneagram helped me make sense of what God's calling on my life was, and also where he used some of my hardships to refine me and mold me into the beautiful gift that I am today and always was, always was. So if you are somebody that feels conflicted but you're intrigued, know that I understand this does not replace faith. Whatever faith that you, you know, fall under, fall under or believe in, I. I hope that you believe that there's something beautiful and bigger than you that is divinely leading you. I really, really do. And if not, I understand that too. Especially if you've been, you know, beat up along the way. It's hard to believe that something or someone's looking out for you when it feels like you just keep going down a path. But my goal will always be with the Enneagram to help you find the road back to your soul before life came and hit you, before you were put into situations and environments that. That hurt you or caused you to be afraid or feel like you had to be or do something to be significant before you. We're running scared from everything. The Enneagram is a beautiful tool and I will continue to scream it out loud and proud. Not as, you know, a replacement to leaning into faith. Because regardless of what your Enneagram type is, you will have to take blind steps into faith from time to time. You know, if you look at the core fear of each Enneagram type, you know, just because you understand your framework and the beautiful gift, that the Enneagram doesn't mean that you have to go blindly into scary situations. The beautiful part about the Enneagram is when you are scared, you know why. And it can help you move forward a lot faster. It can keep you out of sabotage and procrastination or hurting the people that you love. It is the greatest gift in my life next to my faith. They are the two power tools in my life. When my faith feels a little like the foundation of my faith is feeling a little rocky or I'm extra scared and can't always see it so clearly, the Enneagram guides me right back to it and gives me the tools that allow me to take those blind steps moving forward and to surrender. Right. I wanted to keep this episode short and sweet because I felt like this message needed to be heard today. You know, I'm coming up on my 50th birthday, like any day now, and what I have learned, especially the last 10 years. I've been in the personal development land for 22, but it's really in the last 10. Right when I turned 40 and I'm about to turn 50, that this gift came into my life to help me make sense of all of it. I know that so many of you listening have been through so much in your life. And if you're a little more seasoned like me, to try and unpack that or dig yourself from out underneath that wreckage can feel like there's no way it's possible or it's too much work or you can't even see a little glimpse of light. The Enneagram really helped me see the light a lot faster. And I want to help you shine that light on your life to see that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed, but you do need to get back on track for what you are called here to do. And so if you are somebody that maybe has heard of the Enneagram, thinks you were typed, but you're not sure. You don't know what to do with this. You know, I currently am doing Enneagram kickstart sessions and we can spend that time either talking and making sure you're typed properly. If you believe you're typed properly, we can make sure of that. And we can talk about how to use this roadmap to get your soul back on track to what God the Divine has always had planned for you. Because I know you feel shitty when you're playing. I know you feel crappy when you take out your biggest fears on the people that you're doing all of this for. Right? I want you to lean into the best version, the ultimate leader in your life, personally and professionally. 65 to 70% of you are mistyped on the Enneagram. And if you're using this like the roadmap that it is, you might be going in the wrong direction. And I want to help you get on track to have the right coordinates to get your soul back on track. Book a typing session. You can go to Tracey O' Malley.com the work with me section. It'll be the most powerful 90 minutes of your life. I guarantee you will probably have never felt that scene heard and understood. And just know that I understand it might scare you a little bit. I know 10 years ago, somebody like me showing up in my life, I might be scared, but also very intrigued. Because I want you to know that I get it. I get it. And I've walked and been where you are and I will always show up here to help you shine the light or maybe help you blaze a brand new frickin trail that was always there for you. Yes, I will. And I'm coming out with more ways to serve you and help you become typed properly and give you that framework and that roadmap for your soul so you don't have to take the time maybe personally with me or you don't have the resources or whatever that looks like for you. I'm working hard to get that to you faster because I want to serve more of you and help you with this beautiful tool. You do have to lean into and surrender to the unknown sometimes. But when you have a roadmap that can help you see that a little bit more clearly. You will be taking brave, courageous steps moving forward. And I would love and be honored to walk with you on that journey. You can go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section. Book an Enneagram Kickstart session. If you have questions, you can always hit me up on Instagram at tracyomalley. I am always there in my DMs. Yeah, I would love to hear what you're feeling about the Enneagram. If you're one of those that, you know, you've heard about it, it intrigues you, but you've got this chipping away at you, or you got this uneasiness about, you know, maybe faith and tying this in together. You know, I believe that God and a divine power wants you to see you the way he sees you. And the Enneagram can help you do just that. You are a beautiful child and you are here for beautiful, beautiful things. And you deserve it. You desire it, and I want to help you make it possible. Seriously, if you love this episode, please share it with somebody that maybe needs to hear it. I would love to hear what you learned. You can tag me on Instagram tracyomalley And until next time, you guys, here's to helping you become the ultimate leader in your life.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.