EP251: Enneagram Champions Need a Strong Supporting Cast - Integration of Growth and How to Get There

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast, where.

You will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success.

I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how.

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Life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula Podcast. I am your host, Tracy o', Malley, and I am so excited to talk to you today because I think so often for my Enneagram fans out there, you're missing the mark when you just focus on your core Enneagram type. And I know that I have talked to you at length about making sure you're typed properly. I get asked all the time, what's the best assessment out there. They're all not great, but they're a great starting point if you're going to go at this solo. But I want to talk today about beyond that. And when you actually know your Enneagram type, it's great to have that information. But so many of you are missing the mark by just learning about your Enneagram type, when in reality there's four other Enneagram types connected to your core type, which does not change the expression of it can. But true integration of Enneagram growth, all of it comes when we use the entire framework of your core Enneagram type. And you know, I use this analogy a lot in my private coaching or when I do Enneagram kickstart sessions where you can actually get typed properly. You learn the complete framework of your enneagram type, including your instinctual response to life, which is known as the subtype in Enneagram language, and also tools how to integrate that. If that is something you want to do, do not hesitate. Run real fast to traceyomalley.com, the work with Me section where you can book an Enneagram kickstart session. It's the most powerful 90 minutes of your life. Not only do you get accurate typing information, you get real juicy tools on how to integrate this in your life. But so often, you know, we. We see a lot of great information teachers out there. I knocking anybody that is out there, but sometimes the Information isn't accurate. Right? And just because we have information doesn't mean that we get to use it effectively in our lives. I mean, think about it. We all know what to do for our health. Eat right, exercise, we even study workouts, we study macros, we study intuitive eating, we study all these things. But unless we integrate the tools in our life, we just have a really expensive toolbox. Right? I know many of you have extensive toolboxes, not just for your health, but even in your personal development. And so where I stand out in Enneagram land, Absolutely. I'll go toe to toe with anybody. I am the master at helping you integrate this beautiful information and having the correct information into your lives, your businesses, your homes, all the things that you are here to do in this earth. So how I explain integrating the Enneagram? And I want to tell you this. Whatever your Enneagram type is, there's a integration number, growth number. I call it the Holy Grail. Okay. So often we just fixate on our core type. And although our core type at its healthiest is amazing, our core type isn't always the right tool for the job. And when we use our growth integration number, that is kind of like the Holy Grail of who you are now. It doesn't mean if we achieve that, that we're ever done right. There are other things that will come up that maybe trigger you a new level of healing or grieving. You need to do that might slip us back. But that's why the framework and the roadmap of the Enneagram can help you get back to, you know, your soul's calling. So it's not like we ever arrive. The work is never done. You've heard me say this before. You know, until your time on Earth is done, just raise your hand and say, I'm here for it. Okay? But knowing the map that you work with and having your framework really allows you, even when you do get off track from time to time, to get right back on. It really is super helpful. And without as much wreckage left, shame built up. Whatever it is that is your go to. Now, how I like to explain this. Many of you, I use two movies usually in my explanation because chances are you've seen one of these two movies. You know them pretty well. I usually use the movie Rocky or A Star is Born. Now, both of those are legendary movies. They both, I think have Oscar award winning people in it. But if you think about A Star is Born, Lady Gaga, right? Whether or not you like her or whatever, you gotta admit in that movie, she was a freaking champion, right? And Lady Gaga by herself is pretty damn good as a musician, a performer, whatever. Again, whatever you think of her is irrelevant personally. But in that movie she was like, incredible. Absolutely incredible. Not just her singing, but her acting, the way she embodied that character. Now, the reason that movie though was so great, same thing with Rocky. Think about Sylvester Stallone. In my opinion, not the greatest actor in the world. And even in Rocky, like, eh, you know, it's okay. But that movie was so good. And what made Rocky not just the champion of the world in boxing, but the champion in that movie, same thing with Gaga was the supporting cast. And the Enneagram works very similar to some of the greatest movies that you love. If you think back, whether it's Star Is Born, Rocky, think of your favorite movie that you love, that you enjoy. I love the movie When a Man Loves a Woman. Meg Ryan is the lead in that. And although she's fantastic in that, and I love Meg Ryan, the reason she was so great in that movie was her supporting cast. She had Andy Garcia and her little girls, which ironically, I love that movie so much that one of her little girls was named Casey. And that is where I got the name Casey for my daughter. But same thing with a Star Is Born and Rocky. The reason Star is Born was so great and why Lady Gaga stepped into, like, the epitome of who she is as an actress was because of Bradley Cooper, her dad, her gay best friend, right? If you know that movie, you know, like, the reason Gaga was as good as she was is because of those supporting roles. Same thing with Rocky, Sylvester Stallone by himself, pretty good, right? But because he had Adrian and Mickey and Paulie, Boom. Amazing. Absolutely freaking amazing movie. So if you think about your favorite movies, think about the supporting cast. That's usually why that movie is great. And in fact, when I used to watch the Oscars, I cared more about like the Supporting Role Actor award than the actual lead. Because just like with anything, we don't do this alone. And when we're talking about our Enneagram type, for you to step into your integration number, you need a supporting cast. And this is where the other four types really help you, especially your wings. Okay, so for those of you that are listening, I'm going to go through real quick the Enneagram types and what your integration or growth number is. Okay? So at least there you know the target, right? To hit a target, you have to be able to know where you're aiming. You got to be able to see It. So if you're an enneagram 1, your growth number is enneagram 7. If you're an enneagram 2, your growth number is 4. If you're an enneram 3, your growth number is 6. If you're an enneagraph 4, your growth number or integration number is 1. If you're a 5, your growth integration number is 8. If you're a 6, your growth integration number is 9. If you're a 7, your growth integration number is 5. And if you're an 8, your growth integration number is 2. And if you are an enneagram 9, your growth integration number is 3. Now, whatever your core type is, I bet when I just said that, you looked at that other type, if you didn't know it already, and you're like, oh, geez, that's a stretch. And it is. It is the most uncomfortable outside of your natural go to. And it's harder to access. It's why it's called growth. It's why it's like the holy grail of your personality. Communication, all of the things. But if you look at it like I'm an 8 when I look at the 2, it is the biggest stretch for me to get there. Absolutely. But my eightness really shines when I am in that two energy. When I integrate into things that look more like a 2. Now, that being said, if I just leave it up to my eightness, if you just leave this up to your core type. So let's say you're a one. For you to get to an Enneagram 7 in your integration, there's no way, if you just rely on your one, that you'll ever get there. Because the default for a one is I need black and white thinking where an enneagram7 is like the world is gray area. Anything's possible. So that's the thing. Like, our default patterns of our core Enneagram type will always keep us in the zone of protecting our biggest fear. Whatever our Enneagram type is, each one has one and what we're motivated by, right? So as an eight, I'm motivated by strength and power and autonomy, right? And for me to go to an Enneagram, too, that's about significance and compassion and empathy. And my biggest fear is being betrayed, violated, or put in a vulnerable situation. So you can see where me trying to get to a two with my eightness, it's a war of. It's a battle of the wills, so to speak. And this is where the wings come into play. I want you to look at your wings as your supporting cast, your supporting roles. If you think about Gaga in that movie, like, she's great by herself. But for her to step into her divine greatness, she needed what Bradley Cooper brought to the table. She needed what her dad brought to the table, Right? And she did lean into them sometimes in a really healthy way. And that's when they. When she leaned into their greatness and the skills that they bring to the table, they're great skills. That's when she was able to step into it in that movie. You also saw her use her supporting cast in a very dysfunctional way, Right? And we can use our wings to stay stuck, or we can use them as positive supporting roles. And when we think about our growth or integration number, using our wings are key. There is no way I say this all the time when I'm working with people. There is absolutely no way you will ever get to your growth or integration number on the Enneagram without the use of both wings. Many of you lean heavy into one. Many of you believe you only have one wing. Now, we do lean heavy into one. Typically, some people don't use any of them at all. Some people use both. You want to be able to use both in the most healthy way. So how I usually educate people when I'm working with them is, once you know your absolute correct core enneagram type, they do not change. The online assessments are inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time. So if you're going to go that route, just know it's a starting point. No matter what the results say, just start with that. Or you work with somebody like me that can absolutely get it nailed in for you so that you have the right information. So then you can use the entire framework of the Enneagram as a growth tool. And I've said this like, next to my faith, the Enneagram is my number one, number one growth tool. And I've been at personal development for 22 years. And next to my faith and my divine intuition, the Enneagram is right there with it. So having the right information is really, really, really important. But knowing how and when to use both wings will really allow that supporting cast, that supporting role to really help you. So what I usually tell people is, once you know your core enneagram type, whether you do it with me or you go on the discovery process on your own, I don't want you researching and going down the rabbit hole of your core enneagram type, really. I mean, knowing your biggest fear, your biggest motive, your Biggest vice, which I just did an episode on. The 5 Vs of each Enneagram type. How we view them, their vice, their virtue, the vulnerability, something else. Anyway, go back and watch it. It's really, really good. You know, other than you knowing what is your core motive as your Enneagram type and your biggest fear. Like, other than that, I really want you to investigate the wings and your growth and integration number. Like, those are the three targets you really want to understand. Now, you'll never be motivated by either of your wings or your growth or integration number, but you need to know where you're headed. Right. When I was first learning about the Enneagram and I saw that I was an 8, and we narrowed it down after I was mistyped originally, we narrowed it down very, very quickly because I'm not a three. Not even a little bit, but I can look very three. Like, behaviorally, right? But I'm absolutely 1,000%, no question about it, motivated like an eight. And, you know, when I read about the eight, I was like, geez. Like, okay. And another little tidbit. If you love what Enneagram type you are, chances are you're mistyped. But what I found in understanding the framework of the Enneagram is that with my integration number, I needed to get there. I was raising my hand, saying, I want to be the best version of myself. I want to level up my life. And a lot of times, we want to level up without the work that's required or the catch that is required for that to happen. And so when I saw the framework and I saw that my growth integration number was the two, I was like, oh, geez, the eight and me, there's no way. And so learning how to lean into my 7 and 9, which are the wings available to the 8. For those of you that don't know, whatever your core Enneagram type is, the only wings available to you are the two on either side of you. Little FYI, I see so many people say I'm a three wing. Seven. Not possible. Okay? So whatever the two types are, on either side of your core type are your wing accessibility. So what I started doing was writing down all the great behaviors and skill sets and gifts of my two wings. So as an eight, I have seven and nine. So whatever your wings are, I really want you to focus and find out what their gifts are. Right? It's just like the tools in your tool belt. We oftentimes, you know, our core type is like a screwdriver. We know how to be it. We know what to do with it. We don't need a guide, we don't need a tutorial. We know how to pick up a screwdriver and make things happen. But the screwdriver isn't always the right tool for the job, right? Sometimes we need a chainsaw, sometimes we need a drill. And if we don't know how and when to properly use them, we could do a lot of damage. So what do we do? We try to make a screwdriver work when it isn't the tool for the job. A lot of times this leaves us frustrated. We do more damage than we intend. And if you think about the way that you're wired, a lot of times we go into that default core type of ours, right? The eight and me has me blowing up a lot of things. Can it make things happen? Yes, but it usually takes the long way, the harder way, when. If I knew how to use these tools, the supporting cast, I might be more effective. I might be able to more effortlessly and elegantly communicate with everyone. I don't leave money on the table. And so for those of you really wanting to grow and go to your integration number, you know, lean into your Bradley Cooper and your dad basically in that movie, or your Adrian and Paulie, learn how and what the gifts are of your wings. That is the only way you will ever get to your integration number. I'm gonna do more episodes on integration because just giving you the information doesn't equal transformation. I really, really, really love helping you know where the target is and how to get there more quickly, more effectively. And when you're doing this, this builds confidence. Reps build confidence. And this is a muscle that we don't just get the information and have like these great beautiful muscles, spiritual muscles and growth muscles. We don't. It takes time, it takes repetition. And I will continue to bring more repetition of this and teach you how to integrate this in your life so you can build these strong spiritual muscles. And this is where your confidence and fulfillment and boundaries and hard conversations and all the things that you are raising your hand, saying, yes, I'm here for it, that you don't feel like you're banging your head up against the wall again. If you want to dive deeper into this, I can do a 90 minute session with you. It's called the Enneagram Kickstart. Whether you think you know your type or not, we will make sure, if you do know your type, we will absolutely make sure and dive deep into all the things that you can do with the framework of your core enneagram type professionally, personally, all of it. You can go to traceyomalley.com the work with me section if you know you want to dive deeper than just the first 90 minutes. I have an Enneagram experience where you get not just the typing session, but five other sessions with me. If you want next level stuff like the Holy Grail VIP and you want me on speed dial for three months, that is my private one on one coaching, which I only take by application only. I only have one or two summer spots left. So you know, if, if you want that, don't be afraid to apply. It's the next level stuff. It's so powerful. It's my favorite because seriously, we talk every day. It's like video chat. It's so great. It's so freaking great. It's like in real time, somebody kind of walking you through the tools so that you don't just like blow up your life and then try to figure it out later. Go to traceyomalley.com, the work with Me section for all the info there. Having a guide take you through the tools is really where personal development is.

Magical, right? So many of you guys are taking in so much information through podcasts like this and books, and I'm not minimizing that. But I think many of you have so much information that either you start throwing a bunch of crap up at the wall hoping something sticks, or you become paralyzed by it. Right? And neither of those things help you. And I would be honored. And I take the work I do very, very seriously and with huge responsibility and integrity to help guide you and walk you through the journey and using the framework Enneagram so that you can step into the ultimate leader that you are in your life, personally and professionally. If you loved this episode, please share it with somebody that you care about or your communities or your work environment or your families. I do a lot of work with families and couples and corporate teams and organizations and leadership teams. I love putting the puzzle pieces of our human psyche and spirituality together. So if that's something you want to know more about, you can reach out to me in the DMs at traceyomalley. I'm sharing content over there. If you have questions, you can always go to the website and pop me an email. I'd be happy to help guide you in the right direction on how and where and when you can use the Enneagram in all parts of your life. You guys, I'm so grateful for you. Until next time. Foreign.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website website at tracyomalley.

Com.

I'm excited to lead you into the.

Next level of your life.