EP257: You Are at the Halfway Point of the Year. Where Are You at and What You Can Do If You Feel Like You Are Falling Short

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula podcast. I'm your host, Tracy o'. Malley. And oh, my goodness, how many of you looked at the calendar today and you're like, holy crap, we are halfway through 2022 and I am leaving for San Diego for my annual week long solo trip. I go every year for the week of the 4th for a few reasons. Number one, it is the anniversary of my dad's passing on the 6th. My uncle, who was my person in my life, his birthday is on the fourth. And it is the halfway point of the year. And it's a beautiful time for reflection, for creativity, to kind of take my own inventory and to see where I'm at with the year. And I thought this would be a great episode, kind of taking you through what my process is and what really powerful, strong.

Leaders that are in integrity might be doing at this halfway point through the year. I know a lot of people will look at like, holy crap, 22 is halfway over and maybe bury yourself in shame, or maybe all of a sudden you slip into a panic and you get into hyperactive mode and some of you might just be like, okay, what's happening right in this moment? And you know, I do believe we have to kind of look at the past for some ev of some patterns that maybe don't serve us so that we can change them without shame. I do believe that we need to look forward because in order to hit a target, you have to kind of see where you're aiming, but not coming from a place of fear. And also you do have to be in the present moment because quite honestly, that's all any of us are guaranteed. So I thought today I would share maybe four tips on what you can do at this halfway point through the year. The last few years when I have gone to San Diego, it's interesting when I look back on, you know, Two years ago, we were in the middle of the pandemic. And that solitude, because I, you know, there's a big difference between isolation and solitude. And even though the whole world was kind of put on quarantine and in seclusion.

You can be in seclusion and be in solitude, and things grow, things flourish. The beauty of life is kind of birthed in solitude. Sometimes there's a big difference between solitude and isolation. And then last year, I wasn't in solitude. I was sad, I was hurting. And all of it is necessary for the journey. We have to allow ourselves to feel the full scope of emotions for wherever we're at in life order to get to acceptance and transformation. We can't bypass any of them. If you're looking at the calendar and thinking like, oh my gosh, I have missed the boat, it feels like yesterday that you were like, new year, new things. This is the year that I make it happen. You know, life does happen. This has been a crazy freaking year all across the board from the world to. Yeah, I don't even need to get into it. There's just so much that it's like, are you freaking kidding me? Are we being punked? And aside from any anxiety you might be feeling, though, there's an upside to the halfway point in the year. It's a significant period of time, of the year that will allow you to reflect on what has already passed, what's to come, and what you can do right now. So here are four things that I believe will help you not only become the ultimate leader in your own life, but really allow you to not be stuck in shame. You know, feeling frantic in the fear. Shame leads to secrets. Secrets keep you stuck. Those are facts. And if you are so focused on the future, you're going to miss the miracles right in front of you. But you do have to look at past evidence so you can course correct a little bit with compassion. You can look to the future so you know where you're headed and then putting. Putting your head down in the here and the now to make things happen. So one of the number one things I do at the halfway point is to check in on the goals that I have said I want. Now I'm gonna preface this by saying I am not the greatest goal setter. I'm not. Not because I'm afraid of it, not because I'm afraid of failure. I think it's the enneagram ate in me that doesn't like to be restricted or controlled a lot of times. And I feel like if you Make a goal, then you're put in this box. And that's just not true, right? It's not true. But you might have set lots of goals for both yourself, your business, your family. At the beginning of the year, maybe you wanted to expand and, you know, grow your reach into a new market. Maybe you want to grow your department. If you have like corporation or a business. Maybe you wanted to have a better relationship with your spouse or partner. Maybe you wanted to be a more present parent. How is that looking so far? Again, this is not to be met with a shame stick. This is not to be met with a shame stick. When we know better, we can do better. If you pull out the shame stick, you're going to continue to stay stuck. That I promise you. I promise you. Shame serves absolutely zero good. The only thing that shame serves you is an excuse to stay stuck. So if you keep leaning into shame, you have a choice. Okay, how is that looking so far? Are things going as planned or have you run into some obstacles along the way? You know, once you've kind of taken that inventory, figure out the next steps and maybe what you need to eliminate in your schedule, in your space, in your relationships. Let me tell you, 2022, for me, the biggest thing I needed to do was to let go. Let go of a lot of relationships, relationships that meant a lot to me. You know, sometimes we got to let go. Otherwise we're going to be dragged. Right? What extra measures can you take right now? Where can you lean on solid people in your business, in your friend circle? Maybe you need to hire a mentor to get assistance in reaching your goals. And now here's another disclaimer. There's a lot of very fluffy manipulative marketing out there in the coaching industry. I fucking hate it. I hate it so much. And a lot of you have bought into it. And I'm not going to lie, I have too. We all want the quick, easy button. And that's why manipulative marketing has worked. Please, if you want to be the most in alignment, integrity filled leader you can be in your homes and in your businesses, please stop falling for this. There is no easy button. Now this I will say you want a coach, mentor, whatever that looks like for you, therapist even, that walks their talk. And it's why I'm a terrible marketer. You know, I almost gaslight myself sometimes. With love, of course, because I won't manipulate it. I won't manipulate my marketing. I absolutely will not. If you're listening right now, then you have already. You already resonate with my style a little bit. Or maybe this is the first time you're listening to me and you're ready to shut this shit down.

That's totally fine, too.

I am not for everyone, and I do know this to be true, that a lot of times there's not much gray area in regards to how you feel about me. The facts are the facts. I see to your soul with love, with compassion, with empathy. I really, really do. Without judgment. I see any person I come in contact with. I really can. I really can. I can see to the soul. Not just because of the Enneagram, but other things that are present in my life. It has been a spiritual gift of min. I didn't always see it that way, and I used it to manipulate a lot of my life. I'm being completely transparent. But today, I want you to know I see you fully. And I'm not just using like, I see the Instagram influencer, you know, all these whatevers out there. I see you, Sis, please stop. They don't. They want you to believe they do. But I do. I really, really do. And either that is very, very uncomfortable for you and you bail. Which is why a lot of people in my life are exiting, because they can't hide with me. A lot of us want to hide. We say we don't, but we do. It's a lot safer there. Or you're drawn to it like a magnet because you know your soul is ready to make the moves you've been promising. Your soul is ready to do the damn things that you said at the beginning of this year you wanted to do, and you got tripped up. You're listening to people in your lives that really want you to stay in the pit with them or stay small. Because when you rise up and step into your light, it's putting a mirror in front of some people, and they don't want to look. And so they'd rather bring you down or project their shit onto you or say you're toxic or whatever they say to make themselves feel better. So I want you to kind of take an inventory. Again, do not do this. If you're ready to pull out a shame stick, this isn't like it's going to serve you no good. You can just turn off the episode right now. But if you're really ready to look at yourself with compassion and empathy and figure out your next steps, then continue to listen. What can you do right now to help you reach your goals? If you are somebody that maybe needs a mentor or a coach and Maybe you've been burned before. I get it. I get a lot of people that have some coach PTSD because they bought into the manipulative marketing or they were promised something that wasn't delivered. Or maybe you didn't follow through with the things. Just hiring a coach isn't a miracle thing. Just being in a network with certain people doesn't guarantee success. You got to show up, suit up, and have an unconditional level of commitment and consistency to your own process. That's why the work that I do one on one with my private VIP coaching, it does hold you accountable. You have daily access to me and I will call you to the carpet with so much love. So much love. So identify the necessary actions that you need to make and move forward. And if hiring a coach, a mentor, me, is something that feels you're feeling that strong nudge, go to tracyomalley.com fill out the application. I only do the private VIP coaching by application only. Because even if you have the resources to make the investment, I may see that you're not ready for this style of coaching, the real coaching. You may or may not be, but we'll hop on a call. No pressure at all, but fill out an application@traceyomalley.com the work with me section number two, touch base with your support system, your partners, your employees, your family. Summer can be a stressful time. You know, you get flexible Fridays, you're in vacation mode mode. We're wearing less clothes, the vitamin D is running hot, it feels great. But schedules are out of whack, right? The amount of work remains steady and with all these other activities going on, it's easy for you to get distracted or even burnt out. I'm hearing all my enneagram threes going, yeah, but I gotta keep, I gotta keep, I gotta keep. I get it. Now is the perfect time to pencil in. I say sharpie in some one on one time with their true support systems. Not the girlfriend that's saying, oh girl, just take a break. Or you know people in your life that's saying, oh, you deserve this or you're not that bad or any of the things like you want truth tellers in your life that really want what's your best for you, not their best for you. And it doesn't come from a place of envy or jealousy or projection. Okay, so really taking an inventory of who's in your life, refer to number one and then lean into these people. This is probably the hardest part for me, honestly, because I like to be a lone wolf sometimes. Because this is the vulnerable part. It doesn't have to be anything formal, chats over coffee, or even zoom if your people don't live where you live.

We're meant to do life together in community. Anybody that has done anything absolutely spectacular and impactful in the world didn't do it alone. I promise you, if people seem to be feeling stress or anxious, especially even people that work for you or live with you, see how you can help them find ways to reduce that. You know, I think sometimes when we're dealing with our own stuff, being of service to others really, really helps collaborate where you can, you know, the people that work with and for you, letting them know that you care about where they're at, not just in driving the line or hitting the vision or the goals that you guys have set in the business. Really take the time to care about where their soul is at. You know, I think so often we look at the goal line and we don't take enough time honoring the soul line. So do that with the people that work with and for you as well. Even though you're busy and you want to take the time, I get it. It's important. See where you can take things off other people's plates or delegate stuff that's on your plate. Advocate for your people or yourself. And when people feel truly seen, heard, understood and valued, you earn credibility, you earn trust, and you will have a stronger team. So maybe take this time to learn a task. And I'm putting little asterisk by this because so many of you don't need more information. I promise you. You need to maybe learn how to integrate again. Hire a coach that will absolutely help you integrate. I am a great strategist. I am not a great information teacher, but I am the queen. I will go toe to toe with anyone on integration of these tools in your life. Personal development is great, but if you don't take the information, you'll never hit transformation number three, Keep the momentum alive. This is not the time necessarily to take your foot completely off the gas. I always kind of keep it where, like I still always have forward movement. Okay. There is something like a summer slump when productivity drops, temperatures rise, people are in their own zone. But there's actually something worse is the post summer slump that is way worse than kind of getting in the feels of the summertime. This is why it's important to never fully take your foot off the gas. Even if you're just coasting at five miles an hour. That is way more effective than completely going dark. Because to Start a freight train from scratch is way harder than just slightly stepping on the gas. That's why that post summer slump, starting from scratch, you know, we see it all the time. People let their diets go and their healthy habits, the sleep routine. People drink more during the summer, you know, and to start from scratch, it's way harder, right? I know we're just like in the beginning stages of summer, but I really want you to hear me here. It may not seem close yet, but pretty soon it'll be fall and the excitement of summer will be worn off and you'll be exhausted from the lack of structure and routine. I'm not saying not to have a hell of a great time this summer. I am all for loving the present moment and savoring every second. Absolutely. And I know when you're passionate and feel fulfilled by the work that you're doing in your homes and in your businesses, it's not difficult to not take your foot off the gas. It actually like, I am loving what I'm doing more now than I ever have, and I am still taking a little break, but I still am not fully ever taking my foot off the gas. This is really important at this halfway point of the year. A good way to help keep the momentum going is to set new and attainable goals. These aren't the holy shit goals. These are like, okay, right now, like, okay, what have we already accomplished? And how can I use those achievements and to maybe shape the next level of goals? Okay, really, really important, you know, and then setting a date, that is really important as well. Like, you can't hit a goal you can't see and be gentle with yourself, but also take action. And number four, my favorite thing, I use this a lot in every area of my life, but especially at this halfway point is to really integrate the skills that allow me to care deeply, care more deeply, and challenge directly. Radical candor. Great book. She talks a lot about caring deeply and challenging directly. This is a skill set that usually you're strong in one of those areas, right? The empaths, the people pleasers, my nines, twos, Xs like on the Enneagram. And you know, this can apply to anybody on the Enneagram. But you know, these, these types tend to care deeply, right? And this is where you self sacrifice sometimes. Like, caring deeply doesn't mean self sacrificing all the time and it doesn't mean that your needs aren't important. Caring deeply a lot of times means that you believe that your worth is tied into what you do. What you achieve. And so this is where self sacrifice can come in. And I don't say again so you can beat yourself up with the shame stick. This has been conditioned in you. This is part of your natural wiring. Plus you were dropped into experiences, families experiences, situations that allowed you to believe that that's what was required in order for your worth. I want you to know if you really do care deeply about people, then you must stop enabling them. And you have to let people fall on their face, even if they get upset with you, even if you've conditioned them to believe that you are the go to. You gotta ask yourself, are you doing this even if you're subconsciously not fully aware of it? Are you people pleasing in a manipulative way to find your worth? You're not helping people when you do that, and you certainly aren't helping yourself. Again, I want you to meet. Meet this with compassion. If you're going, oh, you're talking to me right now. I want you to know I don't judge you. There are many areas of my life. This was a hard thing for me too. You can care deeply and also challenge directly. Now, there's some of you like me that challenging directly is not a problem for you. Now, a lot of the people that challenge directly very easily, they are putting up the wall. And it's a protective and defense mechanism. That isn't leadership, right? That's more of a dictatorship. The sweet spot is finding the ability with compassion and empathy to care deeply, but. And the ability to challenge directly with that same compassion and love and having a high involvement to the process, but a low attachment to how it's received. This is why in 2022, I have lost almost all of the closer friendships in my life. I believe this to be true. And if you are listening right now and you are one of those people, know that I get it. And I love you just the same. I get it. This is not an easy process. It's. It's hard to be confronted with your own truth. Even if I've never said a word, because I don't. I don't unless I'm asked. But sometimes just your energy can challenge people directly. And they know it's coming from a deep, caring place. But if they're in such a place that they don't believe they're worthy at their core, even if they're saying all the words and they're trying to manifest shit and the I am statements and all the other, if they haven't gotten to the core of their own Fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt, and their own robust ego. When you are stepping into your light, you're going to be a repellent and it's going to threaten their very existence. And I want you to know, if this is happening in your life like it is mine, keep fucking going. You are making room for the abundance of love, money, support, health that you desire in your life. And this is a beautiful thing to do at this halfway point in the year. I cannot wait. I'm just two days away. I can't wait. And by the time you're listening to this, I am already knee deep in the sand and creativity and learning new things and integrating new ways that I can serve more of you. I know I've been teasing for a little while, but this is where the rubber meets the road for me. Because when I'm taking my inventory on my goals, number one. Yeah. There's been something I've had on my heart to bring many of you that I haven't done yet. And that is happening this week on the beach. It really, really is. It's why, you know, in solitude, beautiful things can happen. If you need help with this, and you need somebody not only to hold you accountable, but to help you integrate skills and tools into your life that stick for a lifetime, for any area of your life. Not just to crush your financial goals or to find love or to be the best mom or dad you want to be, but to be congruent and in integrity in all areas of your life. I know that I can help you. I know I can. So go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section has my current offerings. If you just want to kind of do one session, you can do that. We'll go through your enneagram type. We can do that. But if you know you're ready for the Master's program, you're like, no. I am a next level kind of leader in my home and in my business and in my life. I just need the right person to kind of, you know, lead me, guide me, and walk beside me. Fill out the application for my private VIP coaching. We will hop on a call that is absolutely zero pressure. No hard sales call, nothing like that. It's just truly to discover where you're at and to see if you're ready for the likes of Mama Tune. I'd be honored to take you on that journey if you're ready for it. I am so grateful that through 2022, many of you are really embracing the messages that I've been bringing and helping make this podcast grow at a rapid pace this year. I think people are so sick of the fluffy, manipulative bullshit out there and I'm really honored that what I bring to you is resonating with you and really touching you and helping you move the needle forward. I'm not here for inspirational entertainment. If that's all you're getting, then I have failed you. And that is not at all what I'm here to do. So I am just really, truly, truly grateful and honored that you take time time that you don't get back to listen to what I have to say to help me use the experiences and education that I have Learned in my 50 years of the life, to pay it forward and help you move forward so that you can leave the legacy that you've always des. You guys, if this resonated with you, please take a screenshot, share it with somebody that maybe needs this message right now. Maybe somebody in your life that feels really fucking stuck at this halfway point of 2022 where it's like you got the tornado Tasmanian Devil spinning in your heart and in your head and in your soul and you're tired of it and want it to stop. Share this with somebody today. You can find me on Instagram. Tracyomalley as always, I am here to help you become the ultimate leader in your life and and walk alongside you in this journey. Thank you guys. I'm so grateful for you. Until next time.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomali. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomali.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.