EP260: The Body Never Lies or Forgets - Pairing Up Somatic Work and the Enneagram for a Next Level Life

Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Hey there. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula podcast. And I know this is a title for an episode you may not have really thought much about when it comes to leadership or the Enneagram, but this somatic work. What is somatic work? It's like it's your body and what your body has always been trying to tell you or using it as a compass. And in my work with the Enneagram, there's so much I teach a lot on the centers of intelligence, the gut and body center of intelligence, and the heart or feeling center of intelligence, and also the head and thinking center of intelligence. And all three are very, very, very, very important. And the one that overrides them all and should be your main compass is your body. And you know, I thought this week was a very special week to kind of talk about this. It's kind of, it can be considered a little woo, especially by you, more of you type A aggressive personalities. You might think this is stupid. And you know, 15 years ago I would have been in the same ballpark as you. And even 10 years ago, and honestly, it wasn't until about five years ago that I was like, ah, I get it, I get it. Now. Ironically, it was also five years ago this week that I wasn't sure I was going to make it to year 2018. If you haven't seen it, I did a reel this last week about breast implant illness. There were other things kind of going on at the same time. Lyme disease, parasites, Ms. diagnosis. And obviously having a foreign thing in my body was wreaking havoc on my, my immune system. Not saying that's the case for everyone, but that was my experience. And so, long story short, I had been to 14 different specialists. I was having for about two and a half years. Some weird things come up that were very abnormal. And I've always, especially the last 10 years, I don't drink, obviously. I've got almost 10 years of sobriety. I eat well. I was part of a health and wellness company, for crying out loud. I manage stress well. I get enough sleep, I drink tons of water. Like, I was like the poster child for doing it right. And yet my body was not doing well. I was having major brain fog, insane brain fog so bad that it was like, felt like early stages of dementia. I was having pain in my joints, insomnia, dehydration. No matter how much water I drank, you name it, there were all sorts of, you know, food allergies, all the things, right? And I know that there are many of you that might be struggling right now. And, you know, 14 different specialists could not tell me why this was happening. They all wanted to fix the symptom, which I was not here for. I did not want to band aid to a much deeper issue of why this was happening, right? And so after 14 different specialists, I finally connected the dots, right? And that's where I came to the conclusion that these foreign bodies in my body were not helping my immune system at all. And in fact, they were really wreaking havoc on the immune system so much that all this other stuff was coming up. And by the time, you know, five years ago at this time, I was in almost complete and total organ failure. Now, why am I telling you all of this? Because my body had been trying to tell me something for a long, long time. And, you know, as an Enneagram, you know, I'm the power through it girl, and I love to, you know, flex and be superhero strength, you know, mind, body and soul. And I'm here to tell you, no matter what you know about the Enneagram, and no matter how you move through the framework and the centers of intelligence, I want you to know that the body never lies. I would have laughed at you had I not lived through that experience. And now, over especially the last five years, it's a big part of the work that I bring in this enneagram and coaching space. And yes, this does affect you in your businesses. Trust me, if you can't think clearly and if you're trying to just power through and ignoring all the things your body is telling you, I promise you, it will override everything that your heart desires. And it won't be convenient, it won't be fun, it won't be beautiful, and it will be expensive at some point. So the more that you can really lean into the somatic work, the better. Because the body carries the structure of your core enneagram type, right? It's the house, it's the vehicle for your personality. And this is why when you kind of know your Enneagram type and the framework and how to use the wings, but you are always using your body for the compass. As the compass. It's a beautiful thing. You know, the body awareness is a missing piece in this Enneagram world. You know, the body center, which I happen to fall into. Right. Just because, you know, you're in the gut or body triad, the eights, nines and ones, doesn't mean that you necessarily always pay attention to it. Right? The body center has been the center. And that was not always understood in the relationship to, like, this cognitive and emotional map of, you know, original teachings of the Enneagram system. And that's why, like, I really do, no matter if I'm, you know, working with high powered executives at teams like Google or, you know, other Fortune 500 companies or whatever, or I'm working with a family or an individual, this part is so important because the body never forgets and the body never lies. If you are not familiar with Louise Hay, this is really, really important information. The other thing that is really powerful. And this is why when I do work with people with the Enneagram, I focus a lot also on subtype education. And the subtype is like this instinctual variant, this instinctual response to life. This will allow you to not just understand your type, but how your type might instinctually respond when things are a little off or when things are great. Right? Because the body is always kind of constantly adjusting and balancing to try and find some harmony. And if you are trying to override that with your personality, you're not helping things. I don't care how much you know about the Enneagram, if you are fighting against the very vehicle that is housing all of it, it ain't gonna end well. Right? If your central nervous system can't conduct a charge and can't do what it's supposed to do, it will throw you off whack. And it won't help. It won't help. So the subtypes, you know, I've done a few episodes on the subtypes, your instinctual response to life. You know, we have the self preservation, which we use all three, but one usually dominates. One's kind of a secondary and one's more of a, you know, blind spot for us. And it's really important to understand maybe where your blind spot is too, but being really aware of where you go instinctually, not just your enneagram type, because when instincts kick in, it can throw all of this to the wind. This is why also this somatic work, this instinctual component of the enneagram is why 65 to 70% of you are mistyped on the enneagram and why those online assessments aren't necessarily the end all, be all. It's a great starting point, it really, really is. But you're going to have to take the time and have radical honesty with yourself to dig a little deeper or you get in front of somebody like me, that I can help you with all of it. I can not only help you know your enneagram type properly, I can also help you with understanding your instinctual response, the subtype. I can also give you your framework. And the somatic component is so, so powerful because there's a fundamental need in all of us to return to and maintain homeostasis in our body, which allows the body to survive and thrive. And when there's this dynamic tension between two opposing forces, right, this is kind of when things go crazy. So I know you all are into personal development. If you're listening to me, you get this. But you know, we're seeing things like inner child work, somatic healing breath work, sound baths, all these things are helping us get more in tune with our body. You gotta have both. You have to have this emotional intelligence aspect and also understand that the body never forgets and the body never lies. You know, when I was faced with my own mortality five years ago, I had to meet myself with compassion. I very easily could have beat myself up for, you know, if I'm being really honest, I knew my body was giving me signs and I did the whole, I'm going to power through and be tough. And I am tough. Freaking tough as nails. But I was also coming off the heels of my dad ignoring signs in his body for a long, long time. So that by the time it was a problem, he had a 12 day cancer diagnosis and it was too late. And also, you know, seeing the most powerful man in my life have a six month cancer diagnosis when his body all along had been trying to tell him something. When I was faced with my own mortality, I promised myself and God the divine that I would never. Because that is the divine speaks to us through our body and our soul. This is my belief, right? That intuition, that intuitive knowing is all in our body. It's not a feeling, it's a knowing. And we often take our bodies for granted and we get annoyed when, you know, we feel that rumble or it's trying to tell us something. And that's when, you know, these centers of intelligence can kind of take over. It's why, like, the body has to come first. Then we lean into our Enneagram type and the components and the framework. The body never lies. We get annoyed when it begins to signal pain and discomfort, whether physically or emotionally. We resist. We override those body signals with our cognitive and emotional habits. And these habits have their root in the defensive reflexes, the instincts that we operate. And, you know, those kind of kick in automatically and start operating the moment we perceive danger or the potential for harm, not just physically, but also and especially emotionally. And I want you to know, you know, Eights love to flex. We love to be superheroes. But it's in the recognition in and of itself and understanding that the body really calls the shots. This allows you to lean in, surrender, relax them, and actually, you end up more powerful because you have your body. The temple is operating, like, at its highest and best self. If you ignore what your body is telling you, you won't be able, no matter how much, you know, no matter how much you eat. Well, it won't work. It won't. Okay. So, you know, in Enneagram teachings, we describe nine different ways in which we organize ourselves to avoid the pain in life. Right? And, you know, with each Enneagram type, there's a big fear for each one. And how we operate in that can look very different based on our type. And then when we take into account, you know, the instinctual variants or the subtypes, that can really mask it even more. But from these nine different ways in which we recognize this, we can now begin to understand and turn to the root of the issues. That's why I love the framework of the Enneagram, because when our body's trying to tell us something and we don't, like, we can't emotionally or cognitively understand what's going on. It's why we usually ignore our body. But the beauty of using the Enneagram in conjunction with your body's alert system, you can get to the root of what's going on. So one of the things that I always kind of, like, check in with my body, and if I'm feeling certain things in certain parts of my body, in my gut, in my throat, in my back, in my neck, just whatever, I really kind of take inventory of what's going on around me, I slow my roll a little bit, or if it's coming off of, like, a hard conversation or knowing I have to have a hard Conversation. You know, for my Enneagram type, understanding that the biggest fear of the eight is to be betrayed, violated, or put in a vulnerable situation. You have like this fast pass to really get to the root cognitively and emotionally to understand what's going on. And knowing this and taking beautiful action in order to resolve it. Instead of just kind of like in fight or flight, fear or fawn all the time, your body naturally will start to calm itself down. Your nervous system will be able to be regulated a lot faster because you're getting to the root of it. And when you do that, you are able to free yourselves from suffering a lot faster. Does it mean that life automatically gets easier? No, it doesn't. Because life is going to continuously ebb and flow. It really is. I have been sidewalked more the last six months than I have in all 50 years of my. And my nervous system has never felt more grounded, regulated, at ease. And it's because not only do I honor and listen to the body and know and give it to the respect that it comes first, it is the end all, be all of alert systems. Secondary is the Enneagram framework. I know exactly how to get to the root of things faster so that my nervous system, that somatic work can happen faster. And when that happens faster we can move into this next level version of our life. We can make room for the abundance that's coming right. In that body is our intuition. In our intuition is that divine knowing. And in that divine knowing is having faith that even though like some heinous shit happens, that we can't control. Even no matter how much you try to control your life, some, some of you more than others, that we really at the grand scheme of things, have no control. Tomorrow is not promised. And the more that we can really surrender to that and breathe into that intuition and honoring the vessel, the more that you're going to be able to do the things with ease, that are authentic to you. You won't sweat the small stuff. You will be able to let go of the things that really are are disrupting your life. And I promise you, if you don't learn to let go, you're just going to be dragged. I promise. I promise. If anybody could have been bulletproof in all the things, that would have been me or my fellow Enneagram Eights. We like to think we are that way. And we are in some ways right. But none of us are immune to life happening. But when you not only honor the vessel and know and honor it and know how to relax it very Quickly. And yeah, all those things like sound baths and breath work, very, very important. But you have to connect it to the emotional intelligence. And when you marry the enneagram and the somatic work, that is next level you. And that energy never lies to the people that you love, to the people that you lead, to the people that you're wanting to call into your life. Whether it's support or clients or love or friendship, that energy never lies. No matter how much you try to polish it up and pretty it up and try to fake it till you make it, or stuff down your feelings or numb out your feelings or busy away your feelings, the energy never lies and the body never forgets. So I'm going to tell you right now, surrender to the process. If you want to dive deeper into this. This is where I do those Enneagram kickstart sessions. It's way more than just getting your Enneagram type, y'. All. We dive into all these components. The body, the mind, the soul, the intuition, the heart, business strategy, integration, all of it. And we talk about like the instincts that you have and when you can really pinpoint where you go, you'll be able to regulate your nervous system. And a body that is in flow and calm can do magical things in this world and in your homes and in your businesses and all across the board. And it's where we feel most at home with ourselves in a beautiful, beautiful way. If you loved this kind of little different exercise and episode, share it with somebody. I know I have a lot of people that are into breath work and that. And this is why yoga is also amazing too. Really. That's why I do yoga. It's like this interconnection to our divine soul. That's why I used to hate it too. But in order to build this muscle, you have to add resistance to it. And for those of you that shy away from this kind of thing, if you really want to build and flex your emotional muscles and be stronger physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually, you must add resistance and do things that maybe are different than you typically would do. If you just keep squatting the same amount of weight, that booty isn't going to grow the way that you want it. Neither will your spiritual muscles. If you want to dive in deeper with me, I love this is my favorite thing to do. And I will always do this because it is literally my favorite thing to do is these 90 minute Enneagram kickstart session. I really should give it a new name because it doesn't even do it justice. What we do go into in those 90 minutes, you can go to traceyomalley.com, the work with me section. Go to the Enneagram Kickstart session. If you want this like on a daily basis and you know you're ready for it. Can you imagine like having access to not only like this kind of knowing, but having a guide take you through it every single day for a little over three months? Take the time and fill out a one on one application. I only take a few people. It is not for the weak of heart. You have to be sick of your own shit and really ready. And I don't care if you have the resources to make it possible if you're not ready or not ready. And we will determine that. We can hop on a call, a no pressure call, kind of just to see where you're at, see if you're really, really ready. Fill out an application for my private VIP coaching. I only take a few. I think I have one or two spots available currently. And I'd be honored to take you through this beautiful journey. Mind, body, soul. It's powerful. You guys, I am so grateful to be here. I am so grateful that the body is such a beautiful champion for us. It is so strong and resilient and I know especially my lady friends and even men, I am finding more men really have body image stuff and beat themselves up for it. It is such a strong, beautiful thing that always has your back. It's trying to do what's best for you and you know, building a relationship that's healthy and beautiful is the key to really having this yin and yang with it and the ability to honor it the way that it deserves so that it can do all the magical things for you and take you the places that I know you want to go. If you love this episode, please take a screenshot right now, share it with somebody, a community or anyone that you believe needs this message today. The more people that really get exposed to me, this show, the more that I am able, able to help make an impact out in the world doing what I do best. Honestly, I don't know a lot, but I do know this, this area of expertise probably more than most. It would mean the world to me. And as always, I'm super honored to walk this journey with you, beside you, so that you can do everything that you are called to in this life and to help you become the ultimate leader for those that you love, you lead and for yourself. And until next time, you guys, I'm so grateful for you.

I'M so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at trormali. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomali.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.