EP269: So, you might be an Enneagram Skeptic - or Love/Lead Someone That is?? This is For You!

Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to the Leadership Formula Podcast. I am fresh off a beautiful week in Monterey, California. I did an incredible two day team off site for a company and it was awesome and equally one of the hardest jobs I've ever done because the room was filled with a bunch of engineers and I love engineers. And about half the room was Enneagram fives, which, you guys, if you've listened, you know, they're like low key. My favorite type. And it was so awesome because it. They hadn't all had the Enneagram Kool Aid yet, Right. Usually when people bring me in, there's kind of like this buy in already. Like people are already, you know, if you're going to spend that kind of investment to have me come facilitate your team, usually most of the people are like, yeah, we've heard of it, we're here for it. Bring it. This was not the case. Not that they were angry about it or like on the Enneagram, they weren't. Not at all. They were open minded, but they were also super skeptical. And this episode is specifically for maybe those of you that, yeah, you kind of dig in it, you see it's trendy, but maybe you're like, is this really that cool? Or like, I don't want to be put in a box. I don't think it's good that we put labels on myself or anybody else. How can it be that cool of a tool? And how, more importantly, do I freaking apply this in my life where it's more than just this cool information, which I respect all of that, you know, taking you back to my early days with the Enneagram. And this is for any skeptic listening or anybody that loves somebody that really, you know, wants them to kind of understand the beauty of the Enneagram, but they're skeptical like I am. I totally get it and I admire those that question It. I respect it. I admire it. Especially for somebody like me who has spent a decade and honed the craft and studied immensely. And not just studied, but facilitated this with thousands and thousands of people. But it didn't look like that for me a decade ago. It really, really didn't. And when I was introduced to the Enneagram and was asked to explore this, I basically told my therapist to go fuck herself. I did not want a label. I did not want this thing telling her about me. And if it. If it was wrong, it was like, yeah, I don't want this label. I'm already kind of with you with a bunch of labels, right? The other thing that I think most skeptics have that maybe they do or don't talk about, you know, And I really. I was trying to put myself back 10 years ago and ask myself, what was I really afraid of in exploring the Enneagram? And yes, I don't love labels for anybody. And the Enneagram is not a label system or a box pudding system, not even a little bit when used. Right. But what was I really afraid of? Honestly? I felt like.

Even with this system, would you really know who I am? Because most of my life, I felt so misunderstood and that nobody really got it. Nobody really got me. And what was this, you know, in my full ego, arrogance was like, and what is this system, this framework, gonna tell you about me that I keep under lock and key? And thank goodness my therapist is an enneagram8. And I still see her to this day, like, with so much directness, which I appreciate and love. She basically said, you know, the world and yourself have put you in a box, and this might help you get out of it and actually help set you free in a way that you've never felt before. And number two, in true eight fashion, your best thinking has gotten you here. So how about you open up your mind to something new? Right? And this is what I want to say to those of you that maybe are skeptic or love a skeptic, that you want to kind of drink the Enneagram Kool Aid first, I'm going to talk to you. If you are a skeptic of it and the power of it, and maybe before you shit on it or negate it or just think it's a cute, trendy thing, I'm going to ask you, are you where you want to be in your life, not just professionally, not just financially, not just spiritually, not just personally personally, not just emotionally, but all across the board. Do you have one area that maybe dominates. And you use that as a cover to hide the other stuff that's going on in your heart and maybe even in your life. Has what you've been doing been working all across the board as well? Right. That was the other thing. Like, on paper, there were areas of my life that I looked bulletproof and solid, but I knew the truth. And I know if you listen to somebody like me, and specifically me, you're here for the real truth. Not just that I spew and spit out, but your own internal truth. You are on this quest to step into not only the best version of yourself, but the most authentic version of yourself, the one that doesn't wear masks, the one that doesn't compartmentalize themselves so much that in this group, you're this person. In this group, you're this person as a parent, you're this person as a partner. Partner, you're this person. The freedom that you get when you're able to fluidly be yourself in all areas of your life, and it's pretty congruent. The less energy that you use up, the less bankrupt you will feel emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially at times. And then the other thing I want to say, even if, you know, you have all the receipts to prove that you're good, life's good, business is great. You got the cute partner, you got the adorable kids, whatever. Like, your Instagram feed is awesome. Whatever. If that's you, I don't know why you're here listening to me, but even if you're trying to sell that, I get it, because I was that. But I want to ask you this. When it comes to all the relationships in your life, whether they're people you love, you lead, your parent, the people that you meet along the way in your journey, does the message, does the intention of your heart and otherwise get received the way that you mean it to? And for me, that was the number one thing for me that allowed me to put my armor down. Armor down and really dive into the enneagram. So in this room of skeptics and engineers over this last week, it took about a day for them to get it. And I realized that, you know, typically in a corporate setting like this, I might not share as much personal, but I did. I did. You know, I'm an intense person, and I'm very skeptical by nature. So, like I said, I appreciate the skeptics out there. I don't want you to just, you know, drink the Kool Aid and not have questions. I want you to question everything. Because after all we are our own best advocates. But you have to be radically honest with yourself and ask yourself, if you are skeptical, what is it you're really afraid of in this beautiful tool called the Enneagram? Now, like I said, it's the intention that it needs to be used is with integrity. You know, there are a lot of people that weaponize any kind of tool, whether it's faith, astrology, personal development, Enneagram, anything. Anytime we try to judge people. This isn't a judgment tool, but it can be used that way if you're not careful. And I always have to kind of check my own inventory when it comes to the Enneagram. And because it is part of my everyday language, I can be a little quick to use it before I've ever been asked. So that's me being convicted a little bit here and not going there with it. But I will ask you, does the message that's on your heart with the people that you love the most or the people that you're designed to lead, is what you're saying being received in the way that you intend it? And if not, and I guarantee it's probably not, this is a great tool to help you navigate the human Seoul. It is a soul blueprint roadmap, honestly. And, you know, for those of you that are a little more old school, like me that grew up before there was GPS and all of that, and we had to ask for directions or take, you know, a roadmap with us on road trips, or, you know, even when the Internet came out and you had to print out Yahoo. Maps and the directions, you know, if we kind of just go rogue in situations, we can get lost along the way. Now, I'm here to say, like, sometimes being lost in the journey is part of a process. And the Enneagram isn't complicated, but it can feel complex sometimes and we can get lost in it. And there's. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes taking the long way to things is where the beauty happens. And, you know, like I said, I've been doing this for 10 years. I've been doing this for 10 years. And I've learned a lot along the way in the journey of the Enneagram and using it as a beautiful tool in my life. Now, I will say this. It's not the end all be all. Take what you need and leave the rest. Take what you need and leave the rest. I will say, the better that you get at using any given tool. And because this tool can really allow you to serve everyone, you come in contact with at the highest level, next to my faith. It is the number one tool I use in everything that I do. Every conversation I have, every kind of filter I run my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions through. And this is all for the greatest good, not just for my own soul honoring, but the way that I want anybody that I should come in contact with to receive me for their greatest good, not mine, but for theirs. So I share this with you because I know that there are some of you that have been using the Enneagram and you love it. And there are people in your life that are skeptical, and if you try to jam it down their throat, you're going to miss the miracle of them using it. You will. Especially if you're dealing with fives and eights and other anybody else. I mean, any other type, but specifically those two types, if you try to tell them how it has to be done, you'll get the opposite effect. And that's where we miss the miracle in using this. I mean, had there been a different situation, I don't know if I would have been as humbled to open my heart and my mind to this framework 10 years ago. It had to kind of be this perfect storm in my life. Please, if you have people that you want to buy in to, at least opening their hearts and minds to the Enneagram, do not jam it down their throat. Start using it in your life without them even knowing it, without ever saying the word Enneagram. Use and integrate this framework in your real life. Not just in information and spewing the words of the Enneagram, but living it, living the beauty of it. Because here's the deal. I was using and integrating and studying the Enneagram for five years before it ever came out of my mouth. In my home, in my business, in my life. I was studying it and integrating it. And when I started to get people asking me for wisdom, guidance, mentorship at a next level, not just in the business I was in, but in all areas. Parenting, growth, health, business, money, mindset, you name it. And when, when I would start speaking to them, not just in the eight way, but in the way that was best for them, I started hearing things like, my goodness, I feel like you've known me my whole life and I just met you. Or I feel like you've been a fly on the wall for my life. Or I feel like you're reading my heart and my soul and my mind. That is how we use this in our lives. Without ever saying the word Enneagram. And when you build that kind of trust and credibility along the way in your journey, with those you love, with those you lead, with those you meet along the way that, you know, when people were asking me my secret and I started actually talking about the Enneagram because I was walking the talk. Not just talking the talk. It's why I was able to infiltrate and execute using the Enneagram in these big businesses like Google and John Deere and many, many, many, many more along the way. But I had to walk that talk. Not just talk the talk. So for those of you that are loving the Enneagram and want everybody in your life to just be on board with it, start living it and see what happens, start learning about the centers of intelligence and studying them and really being curious about, about people, genuinely, genuinely. And when you know you've kind of landed in the right center of intelligence, then start going a little deeper with people. Not for your greatest good, but for them. This is where intimacy is formed. This is where real connection happens. And that's where credibility and trust get built. And, you know, some of you are living alongside people in your life that there isn't that credibility and trust, and it needs to be built maybe all over again, or maybe you need to start there. Maybe you built the foundation of these relationships on fluff. And there might come a time where the deeper you dig in your own journey, you might have to make harder decisions. I encourage you to go back and listen to my most recent episode around when the people in your life don't support you the way that you would like them to, and kind of what that means. A lot of times, you know, the Enneagram can be scary for people. I know when I started dating the guy that I've been with the last two years, the first thing he said to me when he was. When he was voicing concerns about being in relationship with me, knowing very well what I did day in and day out, was that he was worried that I would put him in a box and psychoanalyze him. And I promised him, and I'm true to this, to this day, that I absolutely will never, ever do that. You know, I genuinely am curious about who he is so that I can be a better partner, lover, friend, anything. But never ever to psychoanalyze or put anybody in a box. And, you know, that relationship is pretty, pretty special. So I want that for you, too. So how do you start kind of digging in deeper and integrating this so that you can walk the talk and not just talk about the Enneagram and try to get people to take tests that are inaccurate most of the time anyway. Well, the first step you can do is really dive in with me for a few minutes on an Enneagram kickstart session through 2022. I will still offer them in 2023. I don't know if I will be able to because I've gotten pretty busy doing a lot of this corporate team stuff. But in that 90 minute kickstart session, even if you think you know your Enneagram type, I will help you through the framework of your soul roadmap and I will give you insight to the other eight types that are there because four of those types are directly connected to you. And I will show you how and where and how to most effectively and, and beautifully and elegantly integrate this in your life in a way that those that you want to learn more about the Enneagram will be more on board with it. So if you have not done that, it is the most powerful 90 minutes that you will spend. I have heard, I'm making no claims of this, but I have heard more than 10 times that even after many, many years of therapy, what they got out of a 90 minute session in doing this allowed them to move the needle a lot faster. Now, I'm not knocking therapy. I think it's very important. I still see my therapist. And I also recognize that it can move a little slow. And if you are in crisis or if you are wanting to move the needle a little faster, this little tool and time with me can help you do that. Take if you are in therapy or have been through therapists and kind of put things together a little bit easier for you. They really, really do. I mean, my same therapist, you know, that introduced me to the Enneagram, I do still see to this day. And it allows us to have greater, faster, bigger breakthroughs in our sessions using the framework of the Enneagram. So I'd be honored to help you on that journey. If you want to go next level into integration, I encourage you also to fill out a one on one VIP application@traceeomalley.com, the work with Me section is where you'll find information on all of this. But if you know you want to be down in the trenches with me for three plus months, day in and day out, every day, really integrating this into your life so that no matter what comes your way, you can handle it with grace and elegance, then I encourage you, if you've been drawn to that, go fill out an application. We will hop On a quick call, there's no pressure. And in fact, even if you have the resources and the time, if I don't feel like you're really, really ready, then we might decide that that's not going to happen right away. But I really want you, if you feel it in your gut that you are ready to go a little deeper, even if you have a little bit of PTSD from the coaching world, I promise you, I see most of you and I get it and I'm here to help you kind of overcome that. Because it's the real thing out there. It's shitty. There's a lot of shitty coaches out there that are manipulating and marketing to you in a way that is just unfair. You're buying into it. But if you're being called to dig a little deeper, I am the person for you that I know for, for sure you'll be met with love, compassion, empathy, grace and a whole hell, a lot of service. But yeah, for you skeptics out there, I see you and I appreciate you and keep challenging me with your questions. I love it. I'm here for it and I am honored to show you the way. Show you the way. You guys, I'm so grateful for you. If you get something out of what I do here on the Leadership Formula podcast, it would mean the world to me if you went and left a review. Even if it's a shitty review, go ahead and do that. I'm here for the feedback and I want to be better and really give you what's in it for you day in and day out. You're why I do this. You are why I hit record every day and bring this to the Interweb and to the podcast land. Absolutely means the world to me that you trust me with your time. Your most valuable resource that you don't get back. Share this with somebody that you think needs it. And until next time, you guys, I'm always here to help you become the ultimate leader in your life.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.