EP284: {Special Series} Being an Enneagram Seven - The Good, Beautiful, Hard, and Ugly of the Enthusiast

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Welcome to the Leadership Formula Podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships? To wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly. It's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

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Hey. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula podcast. And we are continuing this series on understanding the heart, the mind and the soul of each Enneagram type. And this week is all about the enneagram 7, otherwise known as the enthusiast or the enthusiastic visionary. And honestly, I think they are probably the most underrated Enneagram type. I mean, they're larger than life, they're very energetic. But I think they're underrated for the wisdom, honestly, that they bring to the table because they, they just seem so optimistic and positive and seem like they bounce from thing to thing. But the gift of the enthusiastic visionary is something that we all need in our life. And honestly, the enneagram7 that I happen to have birthed my very first born child, she is 100% the reason why I fell in love and needed the Enneagram in my life because I just did not understand her. And I also knew that I wanted to bring out the very best in her, even though she was very, very different from me. So we're going to dive in to the enneagram7. And later this week, I have an incredible, incredible interview with a former client of mine. She's a doctor. Enneagram7, you guys can. I cannot wait for you to hear that. It was probably one of my favorite interviews, for sure. All right, so the enneagram 7, the enthusiastic visionary has to experience it all. They want to avoid pain. They want to know that all options are available to them at all times. They fall into the center of intelligence, that is thinking. So they are more forward thinkers, which, as a visionary, you have to think ahead. Some keywords when you're thinking about the enthusiastic visionary are optimistic, fun loving, spontaneous, a little restless, shifting, entrepreneurial, and uninhibited. Some of my closest friends are Enneagram sevens and they bring something to the table for me that I struggle to get to Naturally, as an enneagram8, I'm so into tactical and in the present that I don't always think so far ahead. And they also bring out that playful innocence in me. So I'm telling you, you all right now, we need some healthy Sevens in our lives. The best qualities of the enneagram7, and these are their superpowers. You've heard me say this before, that they are our superpowers when we're coming from a place of love, compassion, empathy, service and grace. And these very things can turn into the actual kryptonite of, of each of us when we're in a place of fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt or ego. So the qualities, the superpowers of the enneagram 7 are that they're optimistic. They focus whatever brings joy, happiness and pleasure to life. They're super flexible. They're adaptable in the face of change, setbacks, challenges, seeking possibilities and options. They are future oriented. So their enthusiastic and visionary essence enables them to participate and create exciting futures. They are practical. They balance their ideas with a practical, productive focus that enables them to make things happen. And they are super adventurous, adventurous, playful, versatile, spontaneous. And they explore new territories and experiences. They blaze their own trail a lot of the time. Enneagram Sevens value a sense of freedom and optimism and being inspired and taking opportunities as they present themselves are very, very important to them. They approach life as an adventure and appreciate being playful and spontaneous. When a 7 is at their best, they are positive and complete. They offer the gift of happiness to themselves in world around them. And at their worst, they may be impulsive, uncommitted and unfocused. This stems from that insatiable search for fulfillment and a fear of missing out. The worst case scenario for an enneagram 7 is to box them in, to restrict them from options. Do they always believe that they're going to do all of them? Yeah. Right. So if you are another Enneagram type, when they kind of go off on all the possibilities that, that are happening, depending on your type, you might go into, you know, poo pooing their ideas. And if you want to lose the trust of an enneagram7, just do that. Don't do that. Okay. How you might experience an enneagram7, because I know you've been listening to me and you are listening to the other types that aren't you to learn more about, you know, the people in your life, those that you love and that you lead. So. And if you are a Seven, this is really, really Important. One of the things that I really tell people to focus on is how others might receive you. That was the biggest aha for me when I was first learning the enneagram 10 years ago was, oh, this is why this happens when I show up. Okay, so this is how others might experience an enneagram 7. People often enjoy being around Sevens. It's true. You guys make everything fun as you are full of energy and exciting ideas and your positive energy can be infect. Honestly, having one in my household, she really is the joy meter in the house. At the same time though, others might experience Sevens as unfocused, arrogant and irresponsible and might find it challenging to keep up with or keep track of them. And like I said, when I was learning about this, I was low key internally judging my own daughter because I was like, gosh, can't you just focus, focus, focus? But this is, this is also their gift, right? So I don't want you to always assume that when a seven is bouncing all over the place that they're unfocused. There's sometimes a real method to their madness, especially if they're in a good place. The 7's high energy level of activity might create tension in teams, with colleagues becoming resentful if they need to pick up the trail of projects, ideas and activities started but not completed by the Enneagram 7. So the idealized self image of the Enneagram 7 is they believe they they deserve what they want. What's next? I must move forward. They believe the world is full of exciting possibilities, ideas and experiences and they need to explore as much as possible. Like I said, they're very forward looking. Future possibilities and ideas are always kind of rumbling around in their head. Freedom and the pursuit of what they want and need, as well as what interests them, is always in their head. What motivates the Enneagram 7 is the need to experience life to the fullest and to avoid pain. So the social style of the enneagram 7 is similar to the threes and the eights. 3, 7 and 8 fall into the assertive social style. This is how they get what they want. Sevens are typically energized by possibility and energetically go out to pursue and get what they desire. Now when they do, don't get what they want. Their conflict style is more of the positive outlook. So Sevens typically look for the silver lining and conflict, emphasizing the positive in order to avoid their internal pain and discomfort. This is a spiritual bypass. And this is something that, you know, an enneagram 7 has to be mindful of. And you know, when A. An enneagram7, when I've helped many of them kind of lean into the harder feelings, they don't feel the anxiety in their body as much, because, you know, this positive silver lining is a spiritual bypass. And even though you might not be addressing it, your body is feeling every bit of it. And that's where that anxiety, the fear, comes into play, even if it's masked by joy, positivity, optimism, and all those things. So the biggest vulnerability for the enneagram 7, the thing that will really have them slip into their fixation or their vice, is limitation. Like I said, the worst case scenario for an enneagram 7 is to box them in, cage them, limit their opportunities. Enneagram Sevens avoid any form of restriction or limitation, fearing that if they are limited, they will not be free to escape discomfort and pain. And so when that is triggered, that anticipation, this is where the fear and anxiety comes into play. A sense of scarcity of options and opportunities and a fear of being forced to face their pain leads an enneagram 7 into constant anticipation and planning for the future. This is also sometimes where an enneagram 7 can play small. They figure if they go too far down the rabbit hole in entrepreneurial land, they're going to be pigeonholed into maybe a certain niche. Sevens don't love a niche necessarily. They want to be able to do all of it right. And so teaching an enneagram7 and helping them really know that this is just a temporary moment in time, at any moment, you can decide to do something else. When they really embody that, then they can go all in on something, knowing that if the moment arises that another opportunity, another thing that they're excited about comes into play, they can do it. But you'll get the best out of them. In that moment, in that season, in that time, Sevens may be so busy anticipating the life they plan to have that they miss out on the here and now. That is also something that I like. This is the gift that I bring to a seven is the present moment, the here and the now. And they bring the gift of forward thinking and optimism to me. So the biggest vice, the biggest vice of the enneagram 7 is gluttony. And not in, like, the food sense, although that can happen because Enneagram Sevens are. All the types are prone to this, but I would say the sevens are most prone to maybe some addictive behaviors because of that gluttony, because they want to experience all of it. And Avoid pain. So you can see where that can kind of come into play with some addictive tendencies. So identifying with the self image of I'm okay together with the optimistic mindset, Enneagram Sevens constantly seek enjoyment, believing that if a little is good, then more must be better. So that vice of gluttony is the greedy or excessive indulgence in any desire. Sevens can be insatiably hungry for new sensations, pleasures, experiences and ideas. It's really hard to watch a 7. I was married to a 7 and he definitely has some addictive tendencies that are different than mine. But when a 7 is so avoidant and won't kind of sit long enough to face the truth and have some radical honesty with themselves, it's when their life can feel like it gets a little crazy. So because of that and because of that, just taking in what's pleasurable and avoiding what isn't, they never really taste life to the fullest because you have to have the contrast. I've said this with other types, right? Like you have to experience the full contrast and have that polarity to know everything that life has to offer you. A lot of times others might envy the seven's rich full life. And yet Sevens may still feel unsatisfied. New encounters might please the ego, but do not necessarily satisfy the real self. Taking in but not filling up, consuming rather than digesting. Sevens can develop an addictive cycle of fun filling but not fulfilling. Hear that? You can develop an addictive cycle of fun filling but not fulfilling experiences. And I'm going to tell you how to get that. If you are an enneagram7 or if you love or in enneagram7, how you can help them in switching that to fulfilling. Because when they are fulfilled, things are a hell of a lot more fun. But that cycle of the fun filling versus fulfilling experiences leads to dissatisfaction and a sense of insufficiency which is masked by the pursuit of more stimulation. So some of the things that can trigger an enneagram 7, some events that can do that, if they activate your avoidance or fear of discomfort or limitation. So this brings up conflict with the Sevens need to feel that they are okay and have what they want and therefore activates the vice and the defense mechanism to self protect the things that trigger an Enneagram 7, like I said, being confined and restricted, expected to do boring tasks, dismissed or not taken seriously. That is the biggest one. That is the biggest one. Honestly, when you're listening to a 7, especially if you are a different enneagram type, you know, like Myself, I go into strategy and tactical and right here and right now and can kind of even interrupt an enneagram 7 and that they receive that as being dismissed or not taken seriously. An unjust criticism really, really, really big. And when you hit these triggers, you're going to see what happens. And I'll explain that in a second. So one of the defense mechanisms that can happen. But before I kind of go into what the defense mechanism looks like, here are the blind spots for an enneagram 7. While they're quick to learn new information skills, they may struggle to judge whether they have truly mastered this knowledge. They may act as an instant expert without depth, leading others to question their capacity. Sevens might be unaware to the extent of which their active, engaged body language and communication style might be distracting or frustrating to others. Enneagram7's quick intuitive mind might lead them to assume that they know what other people are going to say instead of listening fully to what people are actually saying. I see this one a lot. A lot. Because you're so forward thinking. Just like an enneagram7 doesn't like to be interrupted, dismissed or not taken seriously. Really important for an enneagram to 7 to know that kind of sit and settle without kind of interrupting. We're mirrors for each other. One of the other blind spots is while you may want to feel accepting of yourself, by rationalizing mistakes and moving toward positive emotions, you prevent yourself from feeling complete and whole. So when you're triggered and these blind spots come into play, the defense mechanism of an Enneagram 7 is called reframing. And the Enneagram 7 avoids pain and suffering by turning negative experiences into something interesting, pleasant and good. And you will tend to look at the world through rose colored glasses. Now, although that's a beautiful gift of yours, when it's coming from you know that fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt or ego. This is when it can cause trouble in your life. For example, reframing a setback as being character building or telling others to look on the bright side. Again, spiritual bypass. Sevens value joy. The virtue you know you heard the vice was gluttony. The virtue is sobriety. And not like of a substance necessarily. So as Sevens, you value a sense of freedom. You focus on optimism, being inspired, making the world a happier place and taking opportunities as they present themselves. The sobriety comes into play like this. Sobriety tempers the seven's gluttonous hunger for stimulation. And this is where the lines will come into play in a second. Moderating yourself by Slowing down and anchoring yourself in the here and now, you will experience more of a quality quality life balance. Right? Balance is hilarious. I don't even love that word. Let's call it quality quality life harmony. The wings of the Enneagram, you have the ability to use the eight and the six. And having an eight wing is something that, you know, I think this is why sevens and eights really do well together. Because, you know, we, we each have skill sets that the other doesn't have. So if you're a 7, accessing the 8 Wing will allow you to ground your action. You can access your own power and become more assertive. You can move from planning to becoming more grounded and honest when it comes to interactions with others. This is like not conflict, avoidant. And leaning into the inner toughness of that enneagram8 to be less afraid of getting hurt. Now, on the other side of the Enneagram 7 is your 6 wing. And this is where you can face your fears. Okay? The six wing allows a seven to increase commitment to a chosen course of action and expose and explore things at a deeper level. This is crucial for the seven entrepreneur. Very, very crucial. You can ally with a limited number of people to ground the desire for unlimited freedom. This is where that slowing down to speed up really can help in enneagram 7. Like if you slow down into that 6 wing and get a little more strategic, you will actually create more freedom. It might feel restricting in the, in the front end of things, but I'm telling you, for long, long game freedom, this is where you need to be. You can develop more seriousness and inhibition. The Enneagram 6's sense of risk balances blind optimism. And the 6 wing can allow the 7 to be present in the here and the now. Now how you grow through the lines. There are two other Enneagram types connected to the Enneagram 7. We have the Enneagram one where we tend to go as a 7 under, you know, stress or if we've been triggered, that Enneagram one that is unhealthy can look really rigid, very black and white, very critical. And I guarantee you, if you start dismissing or not taking a seven seriously or you criticize them, or if they feel like they're going to get boxed in and restricted, you will see a whole other side. And this is the hard part for a seven because we're so used to their positivity and optimism, when we see this part of them, it can be very off putting and. And instead of taking them seriously, we dismiss them. Even more. Or if you're a type like me, this is where a 7 and an 8 can really go at it. Because it's like, oh, you want to fight? Let's fight. You can also, as a seven, use the positive traits of the Enneagram one. And this is where this is really important, where you can accept that there is actually freedom in some structure and order. Because that, that enneagram1 is all about, you know, order, structured details. Sevens don't necessarily love all the details, but using that 6 wing and that 8 wing, you can lean into the healthy parts of the Enneagram one. Now, the Holy Grail. The Holy Grail for the enneagram7. And where you go from fun filling to full filling is honestly hidden in the beautiful, beautiful line of the enneagram 5. This is the opposite of the enneagram 7. If you notice on the Enneagram, all of our, like, growth numbers and our stretching numbers are the hardest go to for us. Naturally, we will never get there. Naturally. By default, we will lean into our core Enneagram type. And for that seven, it is like, nope, let's go on to the. Where the excitement is. And if you know the enneagram5 from two weeks ago, they're called the Quiet Skeptic or the Quiet Specialist or the investigator. So they're the most introverted on the Enneagram. However, for an enneagram 7's beautiful, beautiful, visionary ideas and imagination to come to life, you have to create an environment for it to take root. And I've said this a lot before with like Enneagram Sevens, it's like they have this handful of beautiful seeds that could bear the most beautiful fruit and flowers and visions, right? But they kind of walk through life just throwing the seeds around and not creating the environment or a container for those to take root and then grow and flourish and for us to experience the beauty of all of that. And so it's in that enneagram 5, the 5 cave, that I like to call it, where they kind of go into solitude, where they get into the details, where they do take that quiet time to really check in with their feelings, their. Their emotions that asking themselves, is this really what I want? Kind of bullet pointing things. This is also where they can have that stick to it ness and be still and go deeper and reflect. When I see a seven kind of go into the five cave, I know that some beautiful shit's going to happen every single time. This is why the wings are so important, both of the wings, because 4 and enneagram 7, they will never go to that 5 cave willingly. They need some supporting friends. The supporting cast and the six and the eight are the secret sauce for an Enneagram seven to lean more into that Enneagram five. Now, the instinctual responses, the instinctual variance. This is the number one reason why many of you are mistyped in all the online assessments that are available to you. Pretty much don't even touch this. And that's why 65 to 70% of you are mistyped. Good news for you. I have come out with a brand new Enneagram blueprint that gives you 95% accuracy on your Enneagram type. So I know for you listening you have fallen in love with the Enneagram. I have waited a long time to be able to bring something to you that I felt was as close to being 100% as possible. And I have developed close to 100 page blueprint on your Enneagram type and it includes your subtype. So the instinctual responses to life, there are three in Enneagram language, there are the self preservation types, there are the one on one types, and there are the social Enneagram types. So within each Enneagram type there are three different types. So for the Enneagram 7, there's three different Enneagram sevens and it makes a big difference what you are and how you present. So the enneagram7's quest for freedom and avoidance of discomfort is expressed very differently by the three different subtypes. If you are a self preservation 7, your first instinct when things are good and also not so great, that self preservation is like what's going to happen to me? What's going to happen to me? Right? That's the first instinct. And how that kind of goes with the vice and how that gets expressed can change. And if you're a self preservation 7, you seek freedom in pragmatic ways. You will avoid pain and discomfort by looking for opportunities and building strong alliances around yourself to support your quest for more new things. The Self Preservation 7, their kind of keyword is network. Now if you are a one on one enneagram7, you when things happen, it's like what's going to happen to us, me and my inner circle? And you're about the intensity of the experience. Whereas the self preservation is comfort, safety, security. The one on one is the intensity of the experience with your people. So one on one seven seek freedom by escaping into their imagination. They avoid pain and discomfort by imagination, embellishing reality and reframing any unpleasant experiences. And their code word for them is fascination. Now I've said this before on previous podcasts on other types within each Enneagram type in the instinctual variants, there's one that is called the counter type. And this one kind of doesn't look typical to the other ones. This usually the counter type is more mistyped than the other ones. So if you are a social seven, when things happen it's like what's going to happen to we the collective. Right? So social sevens hope to escape discomfort and blame by trying to be a good person and putting others needs first. The Social 7 seeks freedom by being easy, undemanding and sacrificing, hoping that others will reciprocate. This seven is often mistyped. Okay, so you can see where knowing your subtype and your instinctual response to life because it can drastically change how your core fears and your core motives get expressed. Why it's really, really important. I have been working for five years to bring you a system and a blueprint that I know can help you. Because having the right information in using the tool of the Enneagram is crucial. It's not like human design or astrology where you just pop in your dates and time and place of birth and boom, there it is. And I know we live in a society in a time where we just want answers and we want, you know, framework and a guide and I agree. I like life changing. Next to my faith, the Enneagram is the number one tool in my life and it is a proven compass and system to who I am and it helps me navigate really, really hard things. But having the right information is so, so important. So I'm very excited to bring you the Enneagram blueprint for you. It is a very in depth assessment and you will get a close. It's almost a hundred pages y' all full details on your core Enneagram type and how you can explore that. And if you want to dive deeper into that, you can always book a 90 minute one on one session with me to go into how we integrate this and maybe how the other people in your life kind of respond to you and how you can start responding more effectively to others. It is. I'm so proud of this. I'm so freaking proud of this and excited to be able to serve and and help you make more of an impact and to step into calling that's on your life. You can go to my website traceyomalley.com to learn more about that or hit me up on Instagram tracyomalley if you are an enneagram7 or love or lead an enneagram7. Please share this I think that we learn more about each other by learning more about each other and it allows us to look at each other with, you know, those compassion goggles rather than the defense mechanisms that we typically use. I am so grateful for you. I'm so grateful for the Enneagram to provide framework so that I can show up and be better and communicate more effectively with each and every one of you. As always, I'm here to help you become the ultimate leader in your life so that you can do what you were always designed to do. To do. You guys stay tuned. Next week we'll be bringing you the Enneagram 8, but look forward in a few days for a beautiful, beautiful, transparent, incredible conversation with an enneagram 7. Until next time, you guys.

I'm so.

Happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

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