EP292: Blindsides- Do They Derail You or Do You Allow Them To Help You Prevail! How The Enneagram Can Help You Move Thru the Mess

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Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hey there. Welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula podcast. And I thought that the rest of the year I'm going to come at you with some heat, coming from the most beautiful places, because as another year is coming to a close, the reality of how fast time goes is so crazy. And I know that so many of you that listen are in the personal development, personal growth, entrepreneurial, you're raising your hand saying, yeah, I want to be the best version of myself. And as every calendar year goes and you kind of take an inventory about where you're at or what you've done or what you've continued to tolerate, I know that you can probably end up in a place where you're beating yourself up. And I know this is true because every freaking November, my phone blows, up, my DMs blow up, my PayPal blows up, which I'm not mad about, because you recognize, like, we are in this situation and for some of you, it's crisis, right? And I thought that today I would touch on a subject. And through the following weeks, between now and through the end of the year, I'm going to bring you some hard lessons I've had to learn along the way and how I've turned them into gold. It didn't feel like that at the time. I'm also going to bring you really beautiful interviews with those that are closest to me today. And it's interesting because I, I think this is my third year with this podcast and every December I usually bring the people that are closest to me on. And ironically, those people have changed over the last year. And that's one of the things I'm going to talk about today. Today's topic is about blindsides. And if you're in enneagram 6, I know that is like the worst case scenario. Fives also, I mean, nobody really loves a blind side. One of the benefits of being 50 years old is I have enough evidence to show that on the other side of every single blind side I've experienced in my life, I understand very clearly why it had to happen. But for many of you, you've been blindsided before in many different areas of your life. I've been blindsided in every area of my life. And when they happened before the last 12 years, they derailed me and were very disruptive to not only my life, but my emotional wellness, the relationships that I was close with in that time because I honestly, I had no emotional regulation and just even the blind side was big enough. But my emotional irregular was even more disruptive than. Than the blind side. But how do you turn the blind sides that take your breath away, that knock you on your ass, that make you feel like you're not going to get back up, and instead of letting them derail you, how can you prevail? It's not easy. And I'm not going to lie. Even today when I get blindsided, you know, that first initial hit does not feel good. And I was on a coaching call with one of my private VIP clients today, and I was explaining to her that I still feel the hit. My podcast was originally called Becoming Bulletproof. And I love that name. I loved it. And we can become bulletproof. And when we're bulletproof, it doesn't mean that we don't take the hits, right? Think about law enforcement or military, like, they stand on the front line and they take the hits, but most of them wear gear that allow them to take the hits but not be taken out, right? And, you know, I still take hits. I still get knocked on my ass. However, the. The time it takes me to get back up and be in the fight in the most effective, healthy, compassionate, honorable ways, it has shortened drastically. And this is a muscle that you have to build. It's not like you can listen to my podcast right now and say, great, I'm going to become bulletproof and the blind sides are going to be my best friend. And boom, one happens and you are bulletproof. Not how it works. Not how it works. And unfortunately, a lot of the personal development that is being marketed to you out there is right to your wounding, right to the pain points right to the awareness that shit's going sideways on you, right? And then they want to sell you this magic little pill, this magic little program, this magic little coach, magic little podcast that just do this and boom, it's all better. I hate to break it to you, but this is a muscle that needs to be built with consistency. You gotta put in the reps. You have to be unconditionally committed to the process so that when you do get blindsided because nobody's immune, 2020 showed us all that nobody's immune. But when it does happen, you have added enough resistance and put weight on you enough that when it does, you can move through it with grace, with elegance. Yes, it'll still hurt, but you'll. You'll take the hurt and make it matter for something. And like I said, the next few weeks, I'm going to share very personal stories of what this looked like in my life. And, you know, some of it was ultra, ultra messy. You know, I've experienced blind sides in a marriage. I've experienced blindsides in interpersonal relationships with friends. I've experienced blindsides financially and in business. I've experienced blindsides with health, my own personal health, as well as people I love. And the earlier days, you know, prior to 12 years ago, I did not handle it as well. I still handled it, and I came out the other side, but it took a lot longer. It was messier, it was grueling. Like I said, it affected a lot more people. And I'm going to share those personal stories with you because I want you to know I get it. This is why I did not become a therapist. Every therapist I've ever had, all nine of them, said I should be a therapist. But I think it's in sharing our experience, our strength, and our hope. I learned that in recovery, that you really understand that I can help guide you if you choose, whether it's just listening to this podcast or, you know, seeing me speak somewhere or even hiring me as your coach or whatever that looks like. I want to use everything hard and heinous that's happened in my life to matter for something. And my hopes is that through my experience, my strength, and my hope that I offer you a little reprieve when life comes and wax you upside the head. One of the other things I had learned, and it's my favorite thing, and when I buy my boat, it's going to be named to this. It was really hard for me when I was in rehab because, hello, my best thinking had gotten me there. My coping mechanisms weren't great. Like, all the blind sides added up, basically, and my coping mechanisms were shit, and I needed new tools for my toolbox. And when I heard this, this quote in recovery, it. It is my life's work today, and it's the work that I bring to you and to all My clients. It's, you know, what we have as a daily reprieve? We have a daily reprieve. You know, you've heard, like, one day at a time. And although that sounds very cliche, it's very fucking true. It really, really is. Because tomorrow our lives can be turned at the drop of a dime, right? What we have is a daily reprieve that is contingent. Contingent on the maintenance of your spiritual condition. And whatever spiritual means to you is fine. Spiritual to me means like a connection to something greater than me, right? God, the universe, good, orderly direction, whatever you call it. Like, if you don't believe in something, I don't care what it is to you, I probably am not the girl for you. Okay? That being said, maintenance of that spiritual condition. A. Maintenance of a spiritual condition does not mean gathering information or going to an event or listening to podcasts or reading books. That's not doing the work. That's gathering intel to actually do the work. But the real work comes when resistance is added. And resistance is added when we push ourselves, when we are held accountable. And I like to be held accountable by people that I pay, because that is painful. It's hard. It's hard. But that maintenance of. You know that. That daily reprieve and becoming bulletproof is contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. We all have a spiritual condition. But do you maintain it? That contingency plan is no joke.

So, yeah, I thought that as we're closing out, probably one of the hardest years for all of us between, you know, the aftermath of 2020, the inflation, the economy, the world, all the things that I wanted you to know that I'm in this with you. And I want to give you tools to help navigate that. Again, the tools are only as good as you pick them up. This is why the Enneagram has helped me drastically. Because I know exactly where I go when things get hard for me or where I feel betrayed or violated or put in a vulnerable situation. And I'm telling you right now, blind sides will nick the biggest fear for your Enneagram type. And that's why knowing your Enneagram type properly and accurately is so key. I finally, after five, six years of working on it and wanting to bring you the very best, most accurate, value filled thing I have, your Enneagram Soul blueprint, available to you. You don't have to sit in front of me on a zoom or in person in order for that to happen. It is powerful. You get 75 pages of all things about you and your Enneagram Type. And I also give you a little education and information about all the other nine types. How to use the Enneagram, how not to use the Enneagram, what it all means for you. Your wings, your growth, your stress blind spots. All of it. Now, it's an instruction manual, right? Instruction manuals are good only if you take action on it, but at least you'll have the proper information. And I didn't have a me back 12 years ago, and I was gathering this information and integrating it and getting messy with it. And that's why I developed this blueprint for you, so you don't have to be as messy with it. But when blindsides happen, and my most recent happened in the last six months, and it'll be one of the episodes I share with you on the rapid. Rapid. And it honestly, it's top two biggest blind sides of my life and top two hardest moments of my life. And I don't say that lightly. And how I was able to move through that at a very high pace without spiritually bypassing, without projecting, without minimizing what happened. I felt every bit of it. I feel it so I can heal it, so I can move through it. And now it's used for something greater. And the gifts that have come on the other side of that will be. Are magical. I'll share that with you again in another episode. But those Enneagram blueprints, you know, knowing your Enneagram type absolutely can help you because it's just like a roadmap. So it's almost like clockwork. When I'm feeling betrayed, violated, put in a vulnerable situation, I know exactly where I'm going to go. And instead of pulling out the shame stick and beating myself up for handling it a certain way, I have some supporting cast and supporting tools that can minimize the wreckage left behind. And it can also actually guide me into feeling all the emotions that I need to feel to get to transformation and acceptance. It's how we grieve. The Enneagram is a powerful tool. You can get your blueprint today. You can get them as gifts. I have a lot of clients that are giving them as gifts for their mastermind groups, for their clients. I have printed mine out. You get a Beautiful digital copy, 75 pages. It's amazing. I printed mine out just to see what it looked like. And it is so, so beautiful. It's a great gift to give somebody, anybody that's into the Enneagram or personal development. It's amazing. It's amazing. But how do you actually use the Enneagram. Well, you can listen to the podcast and try it on your own and at least when you know the right coordinates, you'll know where you go. The other thing you can do is I'm going to start doing monthly workshops where all the different, you know, you don't have to have the blueprint to know that, but having your right Enneagram type might be helpful. But you'll be able to learn about all the other types in human form from other people that come on. That's coming soon. You can also work one on one with me either via a 90 minute power session where we can dive into your Enneagram and beyond and how it, how you can use it and, and see certain areas or all areas of your life. It's a very, very solid 90 minutes. It feels like 10 years of therapy is what I've heard in that 90 minutes. Or if you really want to dive in and have like the guide at your fingertips for three months plus, you can apply for my private one on one coaching. This last week I have brought on a lot of people so I, I think I have maybe one or two spots left where I can still serve at the highest of level. If you have ever thought about working with me one on one, one of those two options are really, really valuable. They will be changing in 2023, so I wouldn't sleep on that. There's nothing like having a guy very skilled at using a tool. And the Enneagram has been my tool of choice next to my faith for the last 10 plus years. And I will tell you, this is how I have turned my blind sides from derailing me to prevailing. And I'm just so grateful that I can use anything hard and heinous that happens in this world and in my lifetime. I can feel it all. When we feel it all, we heal it and we, we find that next level version of ourself. I'm telling you right now, it's so magical. And, and honestly, I look at myself in the mirror every day with honor. I really do. Because I know I'm here in the trench doing the hard work. I'm in the goddamn arena every single day. And you know when it really hit me? I'm going to tell you a crazy little story. Yesterday I went to the doctor, I had to get an antibiotic for something which sucked. And it was the first time. This is how I know I'm in a really good spot. And I know it, it might sound like silly, but this is how I know I'm prevailing. In all areas of my life. You know, you go into the doctor office and they say, I'll step on the scale as the first time. I didn't even like, she goes, do you want your shoes on and off? I'm like, I don't care. And I just hopped on the scale and the number had no effect on me. I didn't even care what it said that I'm telling you right now. Like, that used to derail me. A blind side of a number. Like something as simple as that. We go through our life and let it define us and let us take us out of, you know, living out loud and playing big in this world. We only get one shot at this, you guys, and I don't want you to waste one more day being in your. Let me help you find a way out. Enneagram is a beautiful tool to help you do that. Let me show you how to use it. Like I said, in the next few weeks, I will be sharing very personal stories, very personal people in my life. As we close out 2022 and move into 2023, I want to help you become that ultimate leader in your life, personally, professionally. I want you to look in the mirror every day and feel honor and privilege to to be here doing what you're called to do. Really, we get that through getting in the arena and fighting the good fight for all the right reasons with the most grace and ele and honor that we can. I don't take it lightly that you come here and spend time with me. I know you have millions of other options to distract you or take your attention. And. And I don't take it lightly that you come here. It means the world to me. If you have suggestions of things you want me to bring to the podcast, please don't hesitate to reach out. You can find me on Instagram at Tracy underscore. O', Malley, you can drop me a DM. You can send me an email at info tracey o'malley.com Like I said, if any of those options, whether it's getting your Enneagram blueprint, your Soul Blueprint, a 90 minute power session with me, or you want to dive deep with me every single day for a quarter of the year, go to Tracy O' Malley.com the work with me section, all the info is there. That'll be changing in 2023, so don't sleep on it. As always, I love you, I appreciate you, and we'll see you soon.

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I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.