EP295: When it is Hard to Feel Thankful - Some Love and Something Special for YOU

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Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships to wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Leadership Formula podcast. Happy Thanksgiving. I'm recording this a few days before Thanksgiving, but if you're listening to it on Thanksgiving, this definitely is an episode for you because chances are this holiday season, the holiday season in general might be a hard thing for you. And, you know, although I love, love, love the holidays and the holiday season, there is some bittersweetness to it as well. So I wanted to record a special episode just for those that might be struggling right now. And even if you're not, this might be something that you can pass on or to reference back to if you do go through a time in your life where it's hard to get into the spirit and there's. And you don't need to. Like, that's the other thing I want to say, like, you have full permission to feel all the things, whether it's sad, angry, depressed, feel like things are unfair, feel like you've been blindsided, like I've been talking about in the previous two episodes and will for a couple more episodes. Because I think especially during this time of year, there's these expectations and comparison things that happen, you know, with the onslaught of social media and, you know, people posing in their matching PJs and the highlight reels. Right. And. And I've watched those highlight reels and, and I get how that can make you feel less than make you feel sad, make you feel like, what have you done with your life? And so I really just wanted to give you a little, I don't know, maybe just knowing somebody out here gets it. And although, you know, I will be with my kids and people I care about and love very much through the holiday season, it doesn't mean that I don't feel loss or sadness or anger or any of that as well. And there were, there have been many holidays that I have spent all Alone. You know, divorce is hard. And even though you know it's. It's okay and all the right reasons, it's still really, really hard when you have to share time with your kids. And. And I know there's many of you listening who don't have a family or you are estranged from your family. I have a little bit of that going on as well. And I want you to know it's okay to feel all the things and the key in this and why I love the Enneagram and speak so highly of it and also like, help so many of you with not just understanding, but integrating it in your life is so that you don't stay stuck in any of the feelings. We have to feel all the feelings, so we have to feel the full range of them. Not just the ones we're comfortable with, but we have to feel especially the ones that we don't love so much. And depending on your Enneagram type, there are probably certain feelings and emotions that you prefer to kind of be in rather than the others. And it wasn't until I really recognized the full scope of emotions and how important and necessary they are to get to acceptance and transformation that I really, really, really, like, understood the power of the Enneagram. So why, why this can help you is if you've had a hard season, or you are in a hard season, or, you know, you feel like you get your ass kicked over and over and over again, and it feels like this never ending cycle, there's a reason why it feels like Groundhog Day. I'm not saying that any of it is your fault or that, you know, there isn't unfairness there. Again, not minimizing any of the pain, any of the experience of it. But the good news is, is you always have the opportunity to turn something shitty into something beautiful. You really, really do. It doesn't take away the pain, it doesn't take away the unfairness. It doesn't take away whatever you feel about it, but you can do something about it. And this has been the greatest gift of my life. You know, it's hard to believe that heinous shit can happen for a greater good, but when it does, you can turn it into a miracle, some magic, and actually a blessing on the other side of it. When I think about the Enneagram, it was actually 10 years ago, around this week actually, that I got out of rehab. And it was in rehab that the Enneagram was introduced to me. And I remember coming home and. And feeling like it felt really safe in that bubble. And I know for you listening right now, if you are listening, you are into personal development. Maybe you've gone to some events or, you know, conferences. And it feels really good and safe in that bubble, right? That's how rehab felt. I didn't want to go. I resisted it. But when I got there, it felt like I could finally exhale for the first time. Like, okay, like, I'm really seeing myself. Even though it was at rock bottom, at least I felt like I could breathe and I didn't have to be on all the time. But then I got out of that environment and came back to the reality. And many of you are sitting in your reality right now on Thanksgiving or the holiday season, and wondering, how the fuck did I get here, right? And how do I take what I've learned? Take the skills and the beautiful inspiration and motivation that I've gotten, whether it's through a coach, a mentor, a podcast, a book, any of the things that you. I know that you are striving for growth and for change and to break some generational shit. It's really hard when you get dropped back into an environment and the reality hits you in the face. The Enneagram can help you absolutely feel all the feelings, move through them and make possible positive, effective, compassionate change moving forward. When I got out of rehab and, you know, I was looking into the eyes of my kids and the wreckage that, you know, I had left to go into rehab, I knew I needed to do something different. I only knew my old tools, and I just got this new set of tools, including the Enneagram. I had some recovery tools and the gift of the Enneagram. And because I was still pretty fresh at it, I wasn't always going to get it right. But the Enneagram allowed me to pause for a moment. This is the gift of it is knowing that I was motivated by the same thing, even though it might be buried under other stuff if I really, really, really got to the root of it, I was always motivated by the same thing. And when I would act out either at myself, against myself, against other people, you know, my fear, my. My vices, it was always rooted in the same fear and the same motive. And the Enneagram gave me a very clear roadmap to if you really want to get to the root of why you're not growing, the Enneagram can help you. If you really want to get to the root of why you feel like the same shit keeps happening over and over, same package, different wrapping paper, the Enneagram can Help. It doesn't replace a faith in something bigger than you and whatever you call it, totally up to you. I was telling somebody today that the Enneagram allows me to stay rooted in my faith and surrender even more and at least allows me to have some control over what I know. My part is in everything. When you can take your own personal accountability and meet it with compassion and empathy and love and grace, you are able to get to acceptance and transformation so much faster, even in the shittiest of situations. And you might be sitting in that shit right now. And so I know if you listen, you probably are interested in the Enneagram or you might be a obsessed lover of the Enneagram. You've seen the power of it. You may have even worked with me at some point. If you're new to it, definitely check out some episodes. But if, if, if this is resonating with you and you know that something's got to give and you know, I had 40 years of life underneath my belt and a good solid 12 of trying to grow with, you know, a few steps forward and many more back. Few forward, many back. And it got so damn frustrating. And at 40 years old, I was like, God, this sucks. Like, it's almost worse than being ignorant, but it's really not. And it wasn't until I really leaned into my faith and coupled that with the power and the gift and the framework in the system of the Enneagram that I could take 10 steps forward and maybe only one back from time to time. Because we're human, you guys. We're human. And, you know, every new relationship and, and experience in our life is here to grow us and, and teach us. And sometimes that with a lot of resistance. And, you know, we're human. But knowing we're human and have the right tool to help guide us through and get to the root of things so we can accept and transform every single day. You will attract better relationships, relationships that can actually support you. You allow your vulnerability to be present. And if you're like me, I know how hard that is. You will navigate hard things with your nervous system regulated. It doesn't mean hard things don't happen, because this is life. But it doesn't have to derail you one more day. And it doesn't have to be so huge all the time. Even with the hardest of things I've experienced the last 10 years, and I'm talking deaths and divorces and relationship blow ups and health crisises. All of it's very, very real. And none of it had to take me out. And using the tool of the Enneagram helped me feel it all move through, move forward still, you know, honor the process and transform.

My heart is feeling so many of you today. I almost didn't record a Thanksgiving Day episode because I was like, nobody's gonna listen anyway. But it was on my heart that I know that there's many of you, that the holidays are hard and maybe you just needed a friend to tell you that. I get it and I understand and I really, really do. And I wanted to offer you a tool that can help make maybe this the last holiday season that is so gutting to you. It doesn't mean they won't be hard because they're still hard for me, you guys. They really are. Birthdays and holidays are really challenging for me, but I have the tools. I do have the tools to hold both in the same hand, right? I can be sad and feel joy and, and gratitude and thankfulness and anger. Like it's all of isn't an either or. It doesn't have to be. Like this sucks more than anything and also feel guilty maybe for laughing if you lost somebody. And it's like you don't have to be responsible for anybody else's feelings one more day. And I want to give you that permission. We're going to do some more episodes on that. But this week, the Thanksgiving week, and through Cyber Monday, I am offering my Enneagram blueprints to you. If you are into the Enneagram or you love it, or you're curious about it, having the right information is key to use the tool most appropriately and effectively. Honestly, if it's your framework, it has to be correct, right? Otherwise you're going the wrong direction and it really isn't going to resonate as the powerful tool that it is. And so most of you, if you've taken an online Enneagram assessment, is, it is inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time. I've done thousands and thousands of typing sessions and interviews and with old tests that were out there, and those numbers ring very, very true. Seriously, the statistics are spot on. And so having the right information is key. And I worked really, really hard over the last decade to bring you something and I wasn't going to do it until I felt really good about it with a 95% accuracy. And I now have those available to you. You would get the assessment and also a customized 75 page Enneagram Soul blueprint just for you. And this is kind of like your guidebook in your handbook And I am offering those to you this week for 20% off. You can use the code THANKFUL22 when you go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section, you'll see information for your blueprint. There it is. Seriously, the guidebook next to my faith. The number one rule book guidebook that helps me really step into the greatest version of myself as a mother, as a friend, as a leader, as a partner, as a coach, as a woman. And I don't know how this looks without the enneagram in my life I'd be a hot mess. I would be going rogue a lot of the times. And this really helps me keep focus on what's really, really important and honor the parts of me that have been hurting for for many, many, many, many decades. And so I really want to give you this gift thankful 22 at checkout. It'll be in the show notes for sure. You can go get yours@traceyalmalley.com the work with me section seriously. And if you, you know, have the handbook or you know your enneagram type but you want somebody to guide you through how and where to use this and very customized for you and your life, you minute power session with me. I do that as well. Those are powerful. I've heard from people over and over, over the last, you know, decade that I've done one on one coaching with people that you know, 90 minutes in. That feels like 10 years of therapy. And I'm not a therapist by choice. I did not want to be a therapist because there's too many rules and all of that and I couldn't tell you about my life and let you know that I get it. So you can also do the 90 minute power session. I've been booking those like crazy lately because it's one thing to have the information and the instruction, man, it really makes it stick. When you have a guide showing you how and where to use that. You can do that@tracy o'malley.com or if you want me in your back pocket seriously for three plus months, apply now for the one on one VIP coaching. I only have like one or two spots left. I already have a pretty full client load but it always is this time of year because of the things I'm saying and I really do get it and I'm so passionate about helping many people, not just women but men as well through the process. And if you know your kind of like had enough of that, apply for the private one on one coaching. I don't take everyone you have to be ready for it. It's no joke, but it's life changing for sure. So I'm glad I recorded this episode for you. I really, really did feel passionate that I know there's people like me that are smiling and it's hurting and are hurting maybe by themselves today or this week or this season. And I just wanted you to know I get it. I love you. I'm here for you. I've got your back. You just gotta lean in again. Go to traceyomalley.com work with me section use the code thankful22 at checkout for a special deal on your Enneagram Soul blueprint. 75 plus pages customized just for you. As always, I'm so grateful for you. You are one of the things I'm most thankful for every single day. Not just on Thanksgiving. Seriously, I get to do what I love every day because you trust me with your journey or part of your journey. And I never ever, ever take that lightly. And if you're hurting today, notice I'm holding you close in my heart and in my my soul and sending you so much love and transformation. You can find me on Instagram at Tracy Underscore o'. Malley. If you have any questions, you know where to find me. Reach out. I love you and Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

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