EP304: Planning Your New Year in a Way that Serves YOU Best Based on Your Enneagram Type

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Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships? To wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life.

Let's do this thing.

Hi there. We have made it through most of the holidays, and this is the time of year where we start to get a little obsessive, right? We've been through the holidays, we've eaten probably more than we should. Maybe you've been partaking in festivities a little bit more than you would like. And now we obsessively get hyper focused on what the next year is going to look like. And for each of you and your Enneagram types, there's a theme that kind of goes on. And I know, like, goal planning and vision boarding and manifestation is. Is very, like, high priority right now. And I know, like, you're looking at the calendar and you're like, jesus, I'm in the same place I was last year. Or if you've been like me in the past, you look at this last year, you're like, I have taken 10 steps back. And for some of you, that might create a little panic inside of you whether you show it or not. And I know, like most of you, especially my Enneagram sixes love a good plan. My enneagram ones love a good plan. So thinking about the year ahead might be in your wheelhouse if you're somebody like me who is very, like, instinctual and in the moment. Setting a plan gives me hives. And so I wanted to really give you some tips based on your Enneagram type, on how planning for 2023 and the next year, that sets you up to succeed, right? I want to set you up to succeed. And a lot of times when we are in this mode, we get hyper fixated to eliminate the biggest fear for each of us. And depending on your Enneagram type, that's going to look really, really, really different. So I thought I'd go through each Enneagram type and come up with some healthy. I don't like the word resolutions, but intentions for the New Year. So you can make the most of 2023. So for my Enneagram Ones, your biggest fear is not being good or right. And so that's where you guys kind of fall into that perfectionism. And since your growth number is the enneagram 7, so when a 1 is going towards growth, they can embody more of that enneagram7energy. I want the Enneagram Ones to practice imperfection. So feeling the need to be good and strive for perfection doesn't serve you well. And honestly, it creates problems in relationships. If you are a little bit seasoned like me hormonally, this will really screw you up and create more of a panic inside of you. So this year I want you to like let go of the reins a little bit. Even just a tiny, tiny bit. This doesn't mean you lower your standards. This doesn't mean that you are out of integrity, but becoming more self accepting with things that allow you to be more creative, to laugh a little bit more, to not sweat the small stuff. I know it's going to go against your better instincts and ideas, but I really want to help you become that more well rounded enneagram1. You get to have some more fun. It can be messy a little bit. I know all my Enneagram ones just gasped right now, but this is where you will find more fulfillment. This is where at the end of the day you will find more joy. This is where you will sleep better. You know, things might not be as hard as you think they are. For my Enneagram Twos, you know you want your biggest fear is not being loved or appreciated. And it's where the name the Helper comes into play quite often. Often for the considerate Helper Twos tend to give and give often too much. And you can imagine if your biggest fear is not being loved or appreciated. A lot of that is contingent on another human being. But quite often you guys self abandon, you feel the actual opposite of what your biggest desire is. And so I want you to practice saying no more often. And I know my Enneagram twos right now are like oh, oh my gosh. One of the things that I when I'm coaching an Enneagram to to run this question through the filter before you say yes to anything. Because you guys are always the first to raise your hand. If there is freedom in your calendar, you automatically say yes. Because if you can, you believe you should. A lot of this is subconscious. You don't even realize it sometimes. But what I have Enneagram Twos ask themselves before they yes themselves to death. If this wasn't acknowledged, appreciated, thanked, or reciprocated, would you still say yes? And if you're an Enneagram too, you're going to recognize that a lot of times, that a lot of times you say yes to things, it's to get something in return. Now, this doesn't mean you're selfish. This doesn't mean that you're manipulating consciously. But a lot of times you yes yourselves to death because you believe your worth is tied into being loved and appreciated. And I want you to know that your growth, growth number is the enneagram 4, which is the individualist, which goes against everything about the considerate helper. But this is where you find your gifts, your individuality, your authenticity, and your own divine creativity and things that you actually like to do that aren't contingent on somebody else. This will make you uncomfortable. Radically at first, this is about setting in the intention. But the more that you exercise these boundaries of your own personal space and your own personal joys and things that you will like, this is where that can happen. You might have been giving so much your entire life that you don't even know what that looks like. And this year, coming into 2023 or whatever year you, you happen to be listening to this in, this is where you find out what you love. And this is where you will end up with the right support in your life, the right people that don't necessarily just take from you, but you have to go first and set those boundaries. My Enneagram threes, the competitive achievers, like, I know you guys have set big goals for 2023. You guys kind of get hyper fixated on measuring sticks, on what is going to happen for the next year. You are master goal setters. You are masters at setting a plan. And although you have evidence that this makes shit happen and you have boxes checked and successes under your bel, there has been a sacrifice. And usually this comes in the form of your relationships and your health burnout. You are the most prone to burnout. And you know, the, the main goal and the, the main motive for the enneagram 3 is to be the best. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying that we turn into a slug overnight or anything like that, but your worth is not tied into what you do or what you achieve or how you appear in the world. And so the goal for you and the intention for this coming year for you to have more fulfillment, for your health to thrive, for your relationships to be stronger, is to unplug. Setting aside time that has nothing to do with measuring success or being the best, but being in your relationships with no agenda. You know, like I said, for the Enneagram twos, I have threes run this through their filter. If it wasn't measured, if it wasn't acknowledged, if it wasn't celebrated or recognized, would you still say yes to it? A lot of times, threes will be like, well, I can be really, really great at this, or I could crush this, or this makes a lot of sense, or this will scale my business faster, or, you know, you insert what you say to yourself, and because you can be good at it, you think you should do it. And what happens is you get to the finish line, and it's empty. So for 20, 23 or whatever year you're listening to this in, I want my Enneagram threes to focus on the soul line and not necessarily the goal line. Today's world, so much of your accomplishments and comparisons, another thing that you have to watch out for if you're a three, are tied up to your phones and social media, I want you to remind yourself that your goals this year is to unplug and be present with the ones you love. So if that means putting your phone away, putting it in another room, getting a special box for it, whatever that looks like, really be intentional with unplugging. Now, my Enneagram fours, my individualist, the creative, the artist. You want to be authentic and unique. That is what motivates you. You don't want to be basic, right? And so this is where you guys fall into chaos. Because this desire to be unique and authentic, you avoid routine and you don't want structure. But this very thing is the thing that makes you more creative and more confident. So the growth number for the Enneagram 4 is the Enneagram 1, which is the strict perfectionist, could not be more opposite, but this is where you find that. That sweet spot in the middle. If an enneagram 4 can have at least just a few things. A tiny bit of structure, usually around sleep, nutrition, movement, right? And having a routine around this, you will actually find that you'll. You'll be more uniquely you. You won't find yourself believing that you're missing something. You will have more confidence. So Enneagram fours need a little help to bring organization to their creative minds and go with the flow daily life. Whether that means having somebody in your life that helps keep you accountable, that understands your full range of emotion, that will help create structure. If you need to develop some kind of system. I know fours just like me. I don't like making lists. I don't like, you know, I like the thought of a planner, but like to actually implement it, I know it can be really, really. It pushes against the four's desire to be unique and creative. But have fun with it. Have fun with it. Even if it's just put three things on a list every day that gives you some kind of structure, break up the day, definitely put in your fun, creative time in there, your uniqueness. Maybe even make your own personal planner. So it isn't basic, so it isn't one that everybody else could have. But I'm telling you right now, when I see a 4 embrace a little bit of structure and a little bit more of that spreadsheet Life. I know enneagram4 is like, I get it. I don't like it either. But even if it's a spiral notebook with a 1, a 2, and a 3 on it, and you do that every day, and one of those three things could be like, smile today. It doesn't matter. Creating structure and embracing routine will allow you to tap into that authentic, creative self. Now, my Enneagram fives, my quiet specialists, my investigators, you like to be in the weeds of information. This gets you behind a computer a lot or, you know, isolating sometimes. And, you know, you guys are so smart and so wise, but a lot of times that information and wisdom can't come to fruition because you become so stagnant. So one of the things I want fives to be intentional for this year so that you actually have more energy and your information and wisdom can actually produce the very thing that you want because your fear is not being equipped and capable or having enough energy and resources and knowledge. And so you kind of hoard all this stuff, and that's why you kind of isolate or become stagnant. And, you know, knowing that moving that energy around is actually where you will end up with more resources and more energy. I want my enneagram fives to be intentional about getting active. Fives need to be active with your basic desire to feel capable and competent. You know, you can get stuck in your head, too. So giving your mind a break and getting your body moving, this will be really, really key for the Enneagram 5. Your growth number is the Enneagram 8, you know, and we are the most intense energy on the Enneagram. The eights are so moving that energy around will allow you to actually retain more of your energy. You might think it does the opposite with all your investigating ways, but it actually will create more momentum, more movement, and more energy and resources the more that you can tap into it. I have a few Enneagram Fives in my life, and I'm thinking about one friend in particular. This last year, she really got a health and exercise routine together and she's thriving all across the board. So I'm. I know it's the thing that the Fives don't want to do, but it is the very thing that will give you more energy and resources. Type 6's desire is being prepared and certain and avoiding a blindside. Right? So a lot of times they go into hyperdrive. Sixes go into hyperdrive doing more, doing more, and become obsessive about making sure they have all their bases covered. And worst case scenario can never happen. And what this leads to is frantic, anxious, fearful energy. So for the enneagram 6 moving into this following year, I want one of your intentions to be to meditate. Now, what does that mean? Right. Meditation is great for any Enneagram type, but especially for the overthinking Sixes. So your growth number is the enneagram 9 as an enneagram 6, and that is the Quiet Peacemaker or the Adaptive Peacemaker. And for an enneagram 6, adaptive doesn't really cut it for them because they need to know what's going to happen for them to feel safe a lot of times. But this creates problems in their relationships, in their health a lot of times their gifts of being master troubleshooters don't get realized because they're so inundated in worst case scenario thinking that they miss the miracles along the way. So the more that an enneagram 6 can kind of operate in the what's the best that could happen? Like an enneagram 9can at their best and really walking into the shoes of faith and knowing that even if the unexpected happens, I can turn this into something beautiful. It will be very, very challenging for an enneagram 6. You guys are the most heady on the Enneagram as far as worry. And I know if an enneagram 6 is listening right now, this creates a lot of havoc in your life. And I know that that creates even more fear and anxiety. So getting into some kind of meditation practice, it doesn't have to be like this formal routine. You know, my meditation practice is laying very still and just quieting my mind. It doesn't have to, you know, have some fancy, you know, incense burning or a fancy pillow. It's nice, but I really just want you to get into the habit, setting a timer for five minutes. That, and even when you catch yourself with your brain going rampant, you bring it back with gentleness and. And kindness and compassion for yourself. All right, for my Enneagram Sevens, the enthusiastic visionary, the enthusiast, is all about adventure and fun and doing and going and what's next. And you guys make a lot of fun happen. But this can burn out your body. This can allow you feeling like people don't understand you. And I'm not saying that your visionary ways aren't magical, because they are. But I have used this analogy a lot with Enneagram Sevens. They're like walking out into the world with a bunch of beautiful seeds. And all these different kinds of seeds can produce all these different gifts. Fruits, flowers, whatever. But sometimes that enneagram7 can walk through life just whipping them all over the place and not creating an environment where they can take root and actually flourish. And I know if an enneagram 7 is listening right now, you feel like you're all over the place sometimes and that all these big ideas and visions aren't happening and not coming into fruition. So your growth number is actually the enneagram 5, which is that quiet specialist. And I know my. My Enneagram Sevens are like, ooh, that sounds boring. As with all Enneagram types, positive traits are also the things that we can struggle with. And Sevens, you know, are energetic and spontaneous, but you can also be scattered. So instead of rushing from one thing to the next, this year, my Enneagram Sevens, I want you to take time to quiet your mind, slow down and reflect so you can improve your ability to focus. And also so you can create an environment and container for these big dreams, these big visions, these big that you have that none of us really can think up. Like, seriously, you guys are the innovators, the visionaries for. Anything's possible. But you have to create that environment. So be sure to get some good sleep regularly. Carve out screen free time. Taking time for just you, without all the people and all the things and all the chaos, even just for a short period of time, will allow you to bring your visions, your dreams, your innovative spirit to life. Now, my fellow Enneagram Eights, our goal in life is to be strong and powerful and not need anyone. And that isn't always. That is where we're fierce and protective and all of the things. A lot of times we're like a bull in a china shop. And especially if we are feeling the opposite of strong and powerful. If in an area of our life we are feeling weak, we will try to overcome compensate in another area of life. So sometimes we will set big physical goals. I do that one. Or we might shop, right? Or buy things that make us feel important or powerful or, you know, whatever. Or we might get really strict in one area. When I see an enneagram 8, even the one looking in the mirror do things like this, I slow down and I get real conscious. So the growth number for an Enneagram 8 is the Enneagram 2. So this is where we get into our heart space. And this is actually where we can use that power and strength for something beautiful, right? Whether it's giving back to an organization that, you know, there's some vulnerabilities there, you know, using the compassionate fierceness, but not in an aggressive way will allow that enneagram8 to be more approachable. And I know if you're an enneagram8, you're probably thinking, I don't want to be fucking approachable. I am tired of being the go to for everyone. Well, here's the catch. You've been the go to for everyone because you have been operating in power and strength and like your ego really has liked that everybody wanted you and needed you, but you have been doing it for your own self serving needs a lot of the time subconsciously when I realized this, that a lot of my relationships had this dynamic because I subconsciously really liked that power role. Not to take advantage of people, but I like being the rock and I'm really good at it. Right? Right. Enneagram Eights. There's something to be said for leaning into the vulnerability and having this even energy and vulnerability exchange on a heart level with people. And I try to operate in this more than ever now. And with some things that went on this year, I leaned more into that in the solid relationships in my life. And I have never felt more fulfilled. I have never felt healthier financially. It had its rewards as well. So for all my Enneagram Eights, getting into that heart space and recognizing where you tend to flex in, in the rock kind of mentality will allow you to actually be more strong and powerful than you ever could imagine. The more that you are in the heart space, that fierce intensity will be for good. Not just for others, but especially for yourself. And finally, my Enneagram Nines, the adaptive peacemaker. You know, you love harmony. Everything that you do is about harmony. The problem is, is you settle for short term harmony and it creates long term chaos sometimes in your relationships. Sometimes work ethic, sometimes in your health, in your mood. So getting up, you guys get caught up in planning for harmony that you don't follow through sometimes, right? So your growth number is the enneagram3, which is, you know, that competitive achiever which feels very, like, icky sometimes to an enneagram9. You want it, but you don't want what could come at the cost of that, which is temporary discomfort and disharmony sometimes. But it's really, really. Because you guys are really great at creating what's in it for all of us and what's the greatest good for us all. I want you to start thinking about that for yourself and understanding that it's going to. You're going to have to plan and take action. So setting up a system for yourself, having somebody to keep you accountable, getting a good coach that will keep you on track and tasks, and somebody you have to be accountable with so that you can get in the practice of it. It's going to feel really, really comfortable, because even in your whole body and your nervous system is going to feel like, oh, this feels icky. And so, I mean, there's a reason why, like, the Enneagram Nines can be described as, like, sloth. Like, right? But this is where you get in that rut and you feel like, like, what's the point sometimes, right? You're here to just make everybody feel comfortable. That's not true. You know, I have said often that the Enneagram Nines have the the greatest gift of caring deeply, but also challenging directly. But it's going to require you to take some action. So all of these types do need some direction sometimes, because our natural default mechanism will have us going into the opposite of all these intentions. So, you know, understanding your Enneagram type is one thing, but having a guide take you through that. You know, the number one way that you can do that today and do something for yourself is to get typed properly. And I've worked really, really hard over the last decade to bring you an assessment that I know is accurate over 95% of the time. And I've built blueprints that are customized just for you. Think of it like your own personal soul handbook based on your Enneagram type and all the things I just kind of told you about, you can have it at your fingertips. And, you know, when I was first learning the Enneagram over a decade ago, like, this was all new to me. It's like, yeah, great, lean into the heart space, easy. But, like, you forget minute you go into default. That all goes out the window. So having a roadmap will really help you. Now. If you know that you need extra help, then you can, you know, Maybe even spend 90 minutes with me and I can take you through what all this means in real time in your life. If you know you need a guide on speed dial, we have those options too. But you can go to Tracy O' Malley.com to get started and get typed accurately, which is really, really important. If you're going to use the beautiful tool of the Enneagram in your life, you will get your own customized beautiful 75 plus page blueprint with everything you need to know about your Enneagram. Type, your growth number, your stress number, your wings which are extra supporting roles, your instinctual response to life, all the things how to use the Enneagram how not to use the Enneagram it is a beautiful, beautiful package. It makes a great gift. But I think this is for going into 2023. The greatest gift you can give yourself is a compassionate new level of self awareness so that you can actually do the things that you say you want to do. And not only do them for the reasons that, you know, give you significance or certainty or independence and autonomy, but really at a soul level. Really lights you up and make you feel fulfilled. So much so that if, if your number was called at the end of the day, you know, you have squeezed every bit of out of this lifetime. And the Enneagram for me has been something that allows me to stay rooted, to stay grounded, to really heal and honor my nervous system. To break generational cycles that have gone on for many, many generations in my family. To eliminate the relationships and honor them for their role in the story and letting them go when the time had expired. To have compassion for those that have done me dirty. To find magic in the small miracles along the way and really live a life by design rather than default. I know that is something going into 2023 most of you want. Now is the time. And it doesn't have to be some aggressive move. Sometimes it. It needs to be the opposite. And I would be honored to take you on that journey. Whether it's through the blueprints or a 90 minute session or a more longer term guidance process. As always, I love helping you become the ultimate leader in your life. I love helping you live by design rather than default so that you can do and be and have everything that you've always desired and everything you always deserve. I am wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. If you love this episode. Please share it with somebody that you know needs to hear it. As always, I am so grateful for you.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.