EP305: Building The Foundation of Your Self-Awareness On Solid Ground Using the Enneagram

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Welcome to the Leadership Formula podcast, where you will learn the secret sauce behind achieving massive success. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, multimillion dollar entrepreneur, your Enneagram expert, master performance coach, and mom to millennials. Do you want deep, meaningful relationships? To wake up every day with purpose and make money doing something you love? Well, you've landed in the right place. Every week, I will teach you how to get exactly what you want in life by strengthening your emotional intelligence. Using a combination of the Enneagram framework, live life coaching sessions, and real talk from yours truly, it's time to transform yourself into the ultimate leader of your life. Let's do this thing.

Hello. Welcome back to the final episode of 2022. And I'm really, really excited because starting next week, the podcast will have a new name. It'll be much of the same stuff, but because, you know, I definitely know that I am one of the authorities in this Enneagram space, I thought that the podcast deserved a new title representing that. So I'm excited to share my podcast 3rd birthday with you next week. So stay tuned for that. You know, we're still kind of in the holiday spirit before 2023 starts. And you know, I had a different idea for this episode, the final one of the year. But as I was reflecting back this week, my daughter's birthday. You guys, if you haven't listened to last week's episode, my interview with her, she's 26, she's an enneagram 7, she's an astrologist, she's an esthetician, she's multi passionate, she's amazing. And the reason why I fell in love with the Enneagram and personal development 22 years ago. She is my reason for this growth journey. Because when she was four years old, I was hit with the realization that I don't know what the I'm doing. And that whole thing that I say all the time, if you don't repair it, you repeat it, was my biggest fear as a parent and my own personal journey as well. Right? If we don't repair it, it gets repeated. And I was living proof of that in the things that were not so great generationally about me. Now there's lots of great things generationally about me. Not that any of my family listens to this podcast, but if they are, know that I'm very proud of the things that I have gained and the beautiful things that I have passed on in the legacy that I will leave behind that came from my family. But that being said, if you don't repair it, you repeat it. If it isn't repaired, it gets repeated. And with it being last week, my daughter's birthday, she's an enneagram7, like I said. So she loves to be celebrated. She loves it and, you know, birthdays and me, not a good friend. I've learned how to reframe that over the years and some healing around what that means. But I've always loved. Loved celebrating her. And I'm a really great cook, not a great baker. And she is so not basic. So she is not into, like, traditional birthday cakes. Nothing basic. For my girl, she loves pumpkin pie. So a few years ago, I started making a pie cake in which, if you don't know what a pie cake is, it's pretty awesome. You put a pie and you bake it into a cake. And so for probably the last five years, I've made a pumpkin pie, and then I bake it into this spice cake with this yummy cream cheese frosting. She loves it. It's a whole thing. Well, in getting ready for this year, I thought I would just do the same thing, but I happened to ask her, which I'm glad I did. And she just turned 26, and she's like, you know what, mom? I think I want something different. And I love that she just speaks her mind and asks for what she wants. It's one of the things that I admire about her. And so she. I'm like, okay, great. Give me some ideas. You know, I'm creative. Cooking is one of my creative outlets. Makeup is the second one. And so I'm always up for an adventure. And this time of year, I. Instead of serial killer documentaries, I go down the baking show rabbit hole, literally for two months straight. It's all I watch. And I love it, just to get creative ideas. And again, I'm a really great cook, not so much in baking. So she gives me this idea. I'm like, oh, yeah. And with my big 8 enneagram 8 energy, I am like, okay, I'm gonna make this grand, because more is better. More is better, and I'm gonna make it beautiful. And I was focusing, and I could imagine how it's gonna look. And, you know, you would think after watching all these baking shows that I would know that structure is really, really important. And so the flavors, let me tell you, incredible. I. And I went rogue with what I was gonna do. Like, all different things. All different things. And it. And it was everything that she would love. And I forgot this thing about the foundation. The foundation. I'm Going to get into how this relates to you and how important this is as we go into this new year. So I go to assemble all the pieces, and I did, like, all the pieces, you know, the day before. And I was going to assemble it the day of her birthday because, you know, I want it looking fresh and beautiful and all the things. And I started putting it together and at first I was like, okay, this is, like, this looks like, you know, the baking shows, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. I could be on those baking shows. Like, I start to get a little cocky and all of a sudden I could see the cracks starting and oh my God, the foundation, it's cracking and it's sliding and it's becoming uneven. And I'm panicking. I'm like, oh, my gosh, like, seriously, I don't want to ruin her birthday cake. And I caught myself, you know, going down the shame spiral a little bit. Like, oh, my gosh, like, what the hell did I think? Like, I knew better. I knew better. I should have kept it simple. But you know that 8 Energy wants to be big and powerful and like the hero in this story. And I was gonna get on Instagram and share the funny parts, and I will. And I did about it because it is funny, because of course, I had a backup plan and making it and made it happen. But then all of a sudden, I started to get really emotional about how many times in my life I ignored the foundation and just focused on the decoration. And I know this applies to you, you know, many with social media. I'm so glad I didn't grow up in a time of social media. I can't even imagine, you know, as a parent of younger children, how hard this is going to be. It's hard as a 50 year old, let me tell you. Like, you know, the shiny objects, the. The things that make everything look so easy. And I'm not immune to that. But how often in our life do we fixate on the decor? Or I like to say, like, I use the building a house analogy all the time. Like, we can't wait to get to the design center when we're building a house to pick up the backsplashes and the pretty light fixtures and, and the flooring. But if we put all of the beauty and all the gifts, gifts and all the sparkle on foundation that isn't rock freaking solid, none of it's going to matter. And I think this cake situation really got me emotional because I was reflecting back on my life in so many times where that was the case. And when the foundation crumbles and all the pretty is exposed for what it was on top of, that's when your world gets rocked. And I know for many of you, 2023 felt like that. You felt like the house came crumbling down. And I want you to know that you can rebuild again. You can rebuild again, a new foundation. Thinking back over a decade ago, when my exterior, all my pretty had came crumbling down, and all I was left with was the rubble of rocky foundation, I had a moment in time where I could make one of two decisions. I could either lie in the pile of rubble and wreckage and let myself just die there, or I could clear it out and rebuild again. And that is what the Enneagram did for me over a decade ago. It was rebuilding my foundation. You know, even though I haven't changed who I am as far as what I'm motivated by and my biggest fears, that hasn't changed. But what I believe about what I used to believe was true has absolutely changed. And that has rebuilt my foundation to become bulletproof, which I think is very ironic that I even say that because that was the original title of this podcast three years ago. Becoming bulletproof. It is something so important because we can't change what happens in this lifetime. Some of it's free will, yes, but you know what is going to happen? Most of it's out of our control. And when we fixate so much on what is out of our control, it ends up handcuffing us and robbing us of miracles and freedom and joy and fulfillment and growth, quite honestly. So becoming bulletproof means that we get tools in our toolbox, we have reinforcements for our foundation intact, so that when life fires away at us and hit after hit after hit comes just like my cake. I was piling on and piling on and piling on that cake because I didn't have that foundation solid, it came crumbling down. That is what the Enneagram did for me. It really has. And, you know, even as I was with my cake situation, appalled by it, it was a split second that I was like, in panic. And immediately I went to, okay, what can we. How can we make this into fun? What can I learn in this? You know, how will I be better next time? And it was so funny because my daughter happened to walk into the room as the cake was starting to crumble. And of course, in true enneagram7fashion, she goes, well, it's delicious and it is unique, just like me. And all the things that that beautiful girl would say. And she even said, she goes, I love your annual cake making thing for me. And I was like, well, don't you worry, we're going to keep this one. And I can't wait to show you guys the pictures of it. But I have a backup and I'm just going to try again. I'm going to get back up and try again within minutes. I got back up and tried again. I didn't let the foundation of that cake rattle me. How often are you letting your shaky foundation rule you? Or have you learned that some of your foundation maybe wasn't solid? And you get you clear the way and rebuild again. This time smarter, more structured, with compassion. I know that 2022 was really, really hard for you. I do. It was really hard for me as well. And I am grateful for the tool of the Enneagram that allowed me to, no matter what the hits were. And there were many in many different areas that, yeah, some of them knocked me on my ass. Some for five minutes, some for five days, some for some others a little bit longer. But every time I got back up stronger and better and more humble and more compassionate and more vulnerable and willing to lean in. Understanding that your foundation of self awareness must be met with compassion and grace and empathy. Otherwise you're using self awareness as a whipping stick and that doesn't serve anyone. And eventually that foundation will crack again. It's like spackling it back together. Many of you have taken on this personal development journey because you were in crisis and you put some band aids on it. I mean, let's just be real. Most of the personal development coaching world is a bunch of smoke and mirrors. If I'm being really honest. I see so much of it. They teach you how to put band aids on your foundation and you might temporarily have a win or some success and think you got by. And for a little while you can, until. Until you can't. And my goal has always been to tell you the truth, you know, that humbling foundation rocking moment ten plus years ago was exactly what needed to happen. It was humiliating, it was hard, it was expensive, it was gutting. It robbed me of pretty much everyone in my life, which I now know needed to happen. But I want to help you understand and have self awareness. So, you know, in a different kind of way, in a different kind of way, I want to teach you things about the Enneagram. The tool of the Enneagram. I want to teach you how to use it in a way that allows you to become bulletproof, that allows you to become that ultimate leader in your life. But if you're building your self awareness on Rocky foundation, it's actually going to hit you even harder because you already know it's there. You can't unsee it, but a lot of you are walking around with the band aids on. It's time to rip them off. I'm excited for 2023 and the new podcast episodes, new title, I really am. I think it's going to be a year of new beginnings and new teachings and new integration things things about the Enneagram. Because I'm constantly learning over 10 plus years, day in and day out, using this tool, teaching this tool, integrating this tool. I'm excited to bring you more and more to help you build that foundation of rock solid self awareness so that you can do everything that you desire and have and be everything that you deserve in this lifetime. I'm excited for all the things that are coming, even the hard things along the way. If you are somebody that is looking for ways to bulletproof your foundation and strengthen your level of self awareness in a way that isn't just band aids, you can start with getting typed properly. And I worked really hard over the last decade to make sure that I only bring you resources and tools that I believe in, that I stand by that I absolutely, in full integrity put my name on top of and using the tool of the Enneagram. Like I said, it's helped me become bulletproof in so many ways. But having the right information is key. And the assessment that I have available to you is 95 plus percent accurate and all these other online assessments out there are inaccurate. And so having the wrong information really doesn't serve you. And to have such a powerful tool, you have to have the right information. So you can go to traceeomalley.com the work with me section where you can take my online assessment. And in doing that you will also receive a customized 75 plus page sole blueprint, your Enneagram blueprint. It will have all the things about your Enneagram type, including the wings, your growth number, your stress number, your subtype, which is the instinctual response to life, which is probably the biggest reason why so many of you are mistyped. That's not taken into consideration in most of the online assessments. You will get tools about how to use the Enneagram, how not to use the Enneagram, your blind spots, your growth, all the things that your Enneagram can help you with in your life. It is a beautiful, beautiful gift to give yourself. It's a great gift to give other people. If you are somebody that runs teams or organizations, I facilitate a lot of that through that. I can even do a bulk pricing if you have a full team or organization that you would like to have blueprints done for. If you want 90 minutes to be guided through your blueprint, you can also do that@traine O' Malley.com the work with me section I'm super excited to guide more of you into the New year. Knowing exactly who you are, leveraging all the beautiful parts, honoring the parts that are more challenging about who you are and make your way into this world and the way that I know you've always wanted to. As we close out 2022 with some of your foundation maybe feeling a little rocky, give yourself some compassion today. Really, really do. It's been a hard one and you know this too shall pass. More will always be revealed. You can take whatever has happened and turn it into something beautiful. I promised you that I am living, breathing proof of that and I've coached thousands and thousands of people over the last decade plus in and I've seen miracles happen. But it starts with you. You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be open to a process. Maybe that's a little scary for you or outside of your understanding and willing to do the work. And that is how we do things around here. I look forward to seeing you in 2023. If you love this podcast, please share it. Thank you for being here the last three years and supporting this mission and its ev and strengthening of my foundation here on the podcast. I'm so grateful for you. Wishing you a beautiful, beautiful happy New Year. So much love and transformation in your life. See you next year.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula Podcast. Please help us spread the word about about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracee Underscore Malley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

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