EP315: Why You Need the Enneagram in Your Life Right NOW

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news. You are in the right place.

Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding.

Of how to help you implement this.

Into your life instead of it just.

Being some fun thing you heard about.

The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate.

Way and then help you lead others.

That way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to Lead with the Enneagram your Go to Enneagram podcast. And I thought since, you know, we are rolling into February, it's now February 2nd. You know, the excitement of the new year maybe has worn off. Maybe you're like me and feel like you're in a bit of a cocoon. And that's not always a bad thing. It's where we strengthen our muscles sometimes and reflect and take inventory sometimes. But when we're coming out of it, especially if you're pivoting or doing something new or facing endings or new beginnings, it can feel really uncomfortable. Really, really uncomfortable. And, you know, depending on how many decades you have under your belt and much history you have and stuff you bring to the table, let's say moving into that can be challenging. That's just to put it lightly. And you might, you know, feel like you don't know what you're doing or who am I to do this or whatever comes up for you. And so I kind of wanted to revisit why the Enneagram is so powerful, not just when you're in this kind of season, but overall, and why a lot of the Enneagram assessments that are out there are inaccurate. Now, I want to start off by saying that, you know, the Enneagram is definitely a journey, and there are many of you that want to take it slow, and you're just learning about it. And I totally, totally get that. Right. It's kind of like you want to find joy in that journey, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's kind of like I've used this example before, but it's like going to Disneyland, and I'm kind of like, I want to see what I want to see. I want to make sure I hit all. All the good points. I want to know how I'm going to feel certain times. And so a lot of times, whether I'm going to like Disney or Six Flags or. Or anything, if there is a VIP or Fast Pass option, I'm taking it because I don't want to miss the beauty, the power, the experience of the things that maybe, I don't know, are there. Right. The Enneagram kind of works the same way. You can take your time with the journey. You can do the online assessments and start to reverse engineer and really see if that's where you land on the Enneagram. But if you're like me, and when I came to the Enneagram, you know, God, well over a decade ago, I was at a place in my life where shit wasn't going well, or, you know, I knew that I was here for more. I absolutely knew. I just turned 40. On paper, I looked okay, but I knew I had this burning desire inside of me. And I knew that what I knew was valuable. But how I expressed it, how I went after it, how I would fight it and resist it or go after it wasn't working for me to have the level of growth that I desired, that I knew I was destined for, and that I knew would help make an impact not only in my home, but out in the world. And that's kind of why I was open to the Enneagram. Even though I came into it kicking and screaming, I absolutely did. My therapist wanted me to do it, and I was like, go f yourself. I don't want to label. And maybe that's you right now. It's like, well, I like this Enneagram thing, but, you know, is it really that important? Yes. I will say this. And if you had asked me that 10 years ago or even eight years ago, I might have said, yeah, it's great. But as a tool and as a growth tool that keeps me rooted not only in my faith, but in my growth, there is nothing better than the Enneagram. And I fully, fully believe that. I use it in all areas of my life. I use it as a mom, mom to 20 somethings. I use it as a partner. I use it as a friend. I use it as a business owner. I use it as a coach, as a mentor. And it has allowed me to accelerate transformation, not just in my life and the people that I love, but those that I lead as well. And I wanted to kind of talk about the benefits of using my Enneagram assessment. And the reason why it took me 11 years to bring an assessment that I would put my name behind is because they're inaccurate 65, 70% of the time. If you're gonna go on the journey and figure it out without an assessment, then, you know, those tests are great, but they're not accurate. And I've done thousands and thousands of interviews to really see the statistics. And, you know, I've been interviewing people not just in Enneagram land, but in leadership for over a decade now, specifically understanding and getting to the root of what motivates people. And that's why I love the archetype, archetypes and the framework of the Enneagram, because it allows us to narrow it down. Now, it goes way deeper than that. And that's for next level Enneagram education, which I'm happy to share with you at another time. There's so much. It's not complicated, but it is complex. But even just the basics and knowing your correct type is the first. First part. Right? So why are you a lot of the Enneagram assessments inaccurate? A lot of people just kind of throw these quizzes together and, you know, as an enneagram8, I'm not going to put my name on anything that I don't believe is reliable. It's it. I absolutely won't. And I understand many of you came to the Enneagram innocently. Right? But with all the free and paid ones on the Internet, none of them have gone. Undergone years and years and years of extensive research and development. Most have been put together by people who hardly know psychometry or using statistical validation and scientific test retest methodology to improve the outcome. What I love about the assessment I do for my blueprints is it really kind of gets you at every angle it's got, like, neuroscience, it's got psychology, there's elements of spirituality tied into that, and it really, really finds the loopholes that even if you were trying to formulate certain answers, it really kind of sees right through it. And it's 95% accurate. I've done, like I said, thousands with this assessment, and I've only run across, I think, three that were inaccurate. And that's after interviewing people and really getting to the root of it. And so once you have the right information, it really is helpful to understand exactly, exactly what motivates you, because when you know what motivates you, you can easily determine what the underlying fear behind that might be. And when you get triggered, when life happens, when things out of your control come up, as you enter new relationships and you're growing, these are all building that muscle. And it's going to test you. It's going to test you, test you, test you. And either you're going to go back to what is instinctual for you and default for you, or you're going to be intentional about growing through it. And you might have been to tons of personal development events, you might have read thousands of books. You might be a podcast listener of all sorts. And none of that's bad, but all of that is just information, right? And most of that information goes out the window the minute you are triggered something or, or a growth opportunity comes up. What happens is, you know, because you're human, is most of us go to the default. And that's kind of where your core enneagram type lives, right? So for an example, when I am kind of moving through life and I feel in my body first and in my intuition and in my nervous system, something's going on, right? I know exactly where to start digging. I know exactly where to start digging. What my biggest fear is. I start to look around, I see the bigger picture. Instead of just being in that present moment of like, what's happening right now and reacting, right? And when we aren't operating in just reaction all the time, and we pause for a moment and we. We reverse engineer kind of what's going on, it doesn't mean it hurts any less or it's less painful or it's less frustrating or any of the things, but pausing for a moment and reverse engineering what's really going on will allow you to more effectively, elegantly respond rather than react. Because when we react, we leave a lot of wreckage in our path, not just for ourselves, but for people we love, for people we lead financially, physically, emotionally, Spiritually. And, you know, I'm telling you, it gets harder the older you get, right? And the costs, the cost is higher the older you get and the more that you have to lose. And so one of the benefits of really understanding the Enneagram and your framework is being able to live a more responsive design filled life rather than default and reactionary. It has saved so many of my relationships and also allowed me to end relationships that, you know, they had run their course. Right. It has allowed me to learn how to grow without chaos and grow without drama. Many of you operate best when your backs are up against the wall. And so what that does for you is you end up blowing up your life or creating chaos and drama so that you can grow. That's still one of the hardest things for me. And understanding and using the Enneagram framework allows me to have a lot of less of that. So what are the benefits of using my Enneagram assessment and getting your blueprint? It's proven to be one of the most powerful tools in the development and coaching environment. It's why companies like Google, Amazon, John Deere, just to name a few, have brought me in. I've worked with law firms, real estate brokerages, school educational systems, mortgage companies, construction company, you name it. The reason why they're bringing me in to introduce the Enneagram and assess everyone is so we can move the needle more effectively, more elegantly, and leverage everyone's gifts and understand where people might struggle. Right. The use of the Enneagram not only fast tracks insight, growth and integration, but it also gives durability to the development process over time. It means it's sustainable. Because for most of us, you know.

Changing habits, this is the time of.

Year where we're changing our habits. And here we are on February 2nd. I bet you've already gone back to some habits that happened before January 1st and long before that. The Enneagram allows you to give it some roots, some durability and sustainability over time, and then you're able to build that muscle. Some of the key advantages of using the Enneagram is it helps create awareness at the level of motivation. You can understand the underlying reasons for your actions and your behaviors, which can in turn lead to increased consciousness and confidence. It enables you to clear core emotional issues. We all got shit. We all got it. And by understanding the motivation behind your actions and behaviors, you can work through unresolved emotional stuff that might be holding you back. And what I have found, not just for myself personally, but with the thousands of people I've worked with that. It doesn't necessarily have to be as hard or emotionally charged as you think it is. Yep. You still gotta feel some stuff.

But it really, really, really.

When you understand the path, it makes it a lot easier and you're not as afraid of it. A lot of you aren't raising your hand and saying, I need to dig a little deeper because you're afraid it might disrupt your life. Using the Enneagram eliminates a lot of that. Right. It also provides a framework for understanding functional and dysfunctional behaviors that stem from those core motivations. Right. Like, even though we're all motivated a certain way based on our Enneagram type, there is a dysfunctional part to that. Especially if your measuring stick of that is skewed, like as an 8, for example, you know, they're motivated by being strong. What my measuring stick for what strong was, was very skewed. And a lot of that had to do with experiences that I've had. And because I understood the framework of the Enneagram specifically for me, I've been able to recondition and recalibrate the measuring stick. And for each of you, based on your Enneagram type, that is available to you in understanding this. So identifying the patterns, then behavior that are not serving you and develop healthier ways of thinking, acting, reacting, responding, all the things. This is where the Enneagram can help you. Honestly, one of the most important benefits for me and for many, many people, you know, we're coming into the month that is nationally celebrated as the month of love. And romantic partnerships and intimate relationships are the most testing and the most growing for your growth. And it's also the most triggering. And this goes for all relationships. But one of the most important benefits that I have gained and you can gain is deeper compassion for yourself first and for other people. This has been the greatest gift of my life. Honestly. I know a lot of you might think you have compassion for other people, and I'm not minimizing that you believe that. But if you are annihilating yourself and you don't have compassion for yourself and you bury yourself under shame and criticism and the whipping stick, you don't. You can't give what you aren't giving yourself. And the Enneagram allows for that. Because when you understand what the fear and the motive is behind what you do and others, you can have more empathy and understanding for not just your actions, but others as well. And especially if you are in a role of leadership, if you are in a household, you are part of A leading force in your home, even if it's just pets, you are leading the way. But in business as well, this compassion allows you you to be able to lead everyone else.

You really, really can.

Understanding a deeper level of yourself and others. It also uncovers pathways to development. It positions patterns and behaviors with current and historical content, which leads to greater insight and understanding of yourself. This is huge. It can increase productivity and motivation by helping you understand your unique strengths and weaknesses and set goals that align with those. Finally, why I love the Enneagram so much and why it has created so much freedom in my life. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, relationally. Is it because it creates a language and framework that makes freaking sense? And it stretches deeper than a personality trait based approach. It builds leadership, authenticity, potency and impact by providing deeper and understanding of oneself and others. Honestly, when you understand people, you will understand anything. And I was on a call yesterday with someone and we were talking leadership. And I confidently said, I know without fail I can lead anyone as long as they're open, right? I can't. Everything takes two people. But as long as somebody is willing, I can lead anyone. And that doesn't mean I am some guru, because I'm not. You are your own guru.

You really, really are.

But I can guide anyone. And of that has to do with the Enneagram. And if you are somebody that is leading people in your home and professionally, you want to be able to accelerate that kind of transformation faster. And the Enneagram is the number one way to do that. It allows you to speak a language that everyone can understand. It allows you to see into the heart and the soul of people on a different level. I mean, I get told at least once a day, oh my gosh, it's like you read my mind. And. And it's not that I'm doing it to make you uncomfortable, but I'm doing it because I want to see you at your soul.

I really, really do.

I want to understand you. And when you build that kind of credibility and trust, yes, it might make people a little uncomfortable sometimes. And I'm okay with that. It's not everybody's ready to be seen. But if your work and if you're a parent, this is the most important thing you can learn, is to see people not through just your lenses, but theirs. It's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. It's how I broke generational shit with my kids without question. It's how I have made millions of dollars. It's how I have some of the strongest friends I've ever had in my life and why I've had to let certain people in my life go. And I've done it, yes, hard, but also really, really beautiful at the same time. It's how at 50, almost 51 years old, I'm the healthiest I've ever been is it has allowed me to really regulate my nervous system. I'm going to do a whole nother episode on that. So if you are ready and you're tired of kind of going on this discovery process on your own, there are a few different options. Honestly, take my assessment. Get your blueprint. It's the most rewarding money you'll ever spend in understanding this because you'll have it right? And then if you want to take it and run with that journey, you have at it. There's so much you could go and learn about it over and over. I'm still learning so much about it day in and day out because I'm in it every single day. But it's so, so beautiful. It's so beautiful. And the more that I learn, the more that I can bring to you and the more that I can guide you through. So go get your blueprint today. You can go to Tracy O' Malley.com the work with me section. I'm telling you right now, you will get the proper information, the right framework. You'll get your own customized 75/ page blueprint that gives you your core enneagram type, your subtype, which is the instinctual response to life, which is why most of you are mistyped because no other assessment really zones in on the importance of that. You'll also understand both of your wings. Yes, you have two. You want to be able to use both. And I will share how you do that, your paths, what growth and stress might look like for you and how to use both effectively and honestly. It's just a beautiful, beautiful guide to help you make sense of this. And the more that you understand it, the more that you'll be able to integrate and grow at a rapid pace in your life. And once you start with yourself, you can kind of branch out and lean into other people. I encourage you if you have people in your life, if you are somebody that leads people. This is something that I work with a lot of high level business coaches or anybody that leads people. A lot of people want to learn about the enneagram. But there's something about working alongside somebody who has so much experience and integration of this that, you know, working alongside you to help get your people Accurately assessed so that you as their leader, can more effectively lead them. I consult a lot of coaches, honestly, because this is a very specialized, unique niche that I have been knee deep in for decade, over a decade now. Another way that you can kind of lean into this is doing a 90 minute session with me. And it might be all you ever need.

It really, really might.

You'll get accurately assessed, you'll get your blueprint and I will, in real time with your questions in your unique life, kind of let you know how to use this information to move forward. Obviously, if you want a three month container, we can do that. But one of the other things I really want us to talk about is partners. Whether it's business partners, friendship partners, romantic partners, husband, wife, wife, wife, husband, husband, whatever that looks like for you. I do partner sessions too and it is super valuable. I've got a bunch booked this week. I'm looking forward to it because that partner in your life, it's some of the most intimate relationships you'll have professionally and personally. And I can do a partner session where you both get assessed as well. You, you will get a better understanding of each other with somebody who can be really objective with you both and really honest with you both about where things might get sideways and how to move and grow through that. It's powerful. All of that information can happen. At tracee o'malley.com, the work with me section. I will be introducing group sessions here soon. Not just for people that are within a team or a business, but learning from groups of individual that all come together.

Really, really important.

I wanted to reconfirm why the Enneagram is super important for your life. Honestly, when you understand people, you will understand everything. People and connections and relationships. You've heard the term relationship capital. This is how you really increase that relationship capital. The more authentic you are, the more credible, the more trustworthy, the more compassionate you are. You will attract an entirely different kind of person or people in your life, which upset relationship capital. Which makes every possibility an opportunity that you've ever desired, that you've ever dreamed about and those things that you deserve. This is where the Enneagram can help. That I'm always here learning more about myself and bringing that to you through the the tool of the Enneagram. I'm so honored to be that for so many of you. I appreciate your trust with yourself, your own soul, your own heart, your teams, your families, your in your companies. I love bringing this framework to more people so that we can all live more happy, fulfilled productive and profitable lives on a soul level and on a financial level all across the board. I'm super grateful for you. If you love this information, please share it with somebody. I know a lot of you are into the Enneagram and there's lots of different kinds of teachers out there on the Enneagram and I always want to be your integration specialist. So if you know somebody that loves the Enneagram, this is a little bit different take than most of the information that you'll find out there. And it's something that I pride myself on and I'm super grateful for you taking your most precious commodity and that's your time to listen in. So share it with somebody that you love. And if you really, really get something out of this, it'd mean the world to me if you left a five star review or whatever you see fit on any of the platforms. It's how we will get in front of more people and bring the integration of the Enneagram so that we can all grow grow bigger, better lives. You guys, I'm grateful for you. Wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. Talk to you next.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing.

It with a friend and leaving a.

Written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm so excited to lead.

You into the next level of your life, Sam.