EP322: You're On the Same Team, But Are You Working Together Like You Are? The Four Things You Need to Thrive Together

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you.

You need to know all about it.

So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place.

Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this.

Into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about.

The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective, and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career, and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey, welcome back to Lead with the Enneagram, the podcast. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, and I wanted to talk about something that I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine today, and actually, quite honestly, it's been the theme in a lot of the work that I've been doing with people like you, whether it's in your homes or in business. And, you know, I get a lot. Especially, you know, I got to say, it's. It feels like a lot of couples lately, and partners of any orientation, business partners, romantic partners, whatever that, you know. You know, you're on the same team, you committed to being on the same team, but are you really working together like you are? So often these partnerships and professional partnerships, we enter into them because we feel deeply for this person or we see the. The vision together, right? But so often, especially as time goes by and the more vulnerable we are in that relationship, whether, you know, it's how much skin you got in the game or how much your heart is on the line. Quite honestly, we start to act as though we're on opposite teams, and it's like this tug of war. It is the who's right, who's wrong. And I was thinking back to a couple session I did this week where beautiful, beautiful couple, and they love each other so deeply. And I could feel the power struggle, and I could feel that one of them wanted me to say that the other was wrong. And here's the thing. It always, always, always takes two. And especially in a team, it's going to take all of you. Right. Not just the two of you. But I wanted to give you some tips on, you know, if you're on this team with someone or in a. In a group setting or business or whatever, are you really working together like you are? And I think this is why I get called in a lot, is because, you know, like, this partnership is good, this team is great, but you're having a hard time making it work, right? There might be underlying stuff going on. Maybe circumstances have changed over the course of time. I know, like, especially in a marriage, you know, for any length of time or any kind of relationship, like, as you grow and evolve, the rules change a little bit. And if you don't have conversations about it, there's all this unspoken kind of resentment going on or unspoken fears and anxiety, unspoken significance. Like, I don't even know where I fit into this anymore. And so I wanted to give you the four things, the four main things in helping you really start to work together. Like you are on the same team. If you've committed to this team, if you are, like, knowing this is the right path for you in this team. And I'm telling you, this is personal and professional and how you operate, like, if you do this in your personal life, this will play out in your professional life and vice versa. These four things that I of bring to the table to help you work together like you're more on the same team. Now, here's a few things, though, and this is where you really have to take inventory of who's on your team personally and professionally. This is really, really important because it does take two to break it down and it takes two to build it back up. And both of you have to be on board with honesty with yourself and your part in it. You have to be open to something outside of maybe your comfort zone or how you've always done things. And you have to be willing to be unconditionally committed and consistent and honestly if you are dealing with a team or a teammate where those things aren't coming into play. And this means checking yourself, too, because you have a huge part in this. It's going to be a little more challenging. This is definitely when you might need somebody to help guide or facilitate this. Even if both of you are on board, especially if there's been some feelings that are unspoken and have been stuffed down or building. Having a guide take you through this is super effective and way faster. And it's really great having somebody who's super objective and doesn't have skin in the game that you guys are in to help bring clarity to this. But I'll get to that. So the number one thing you have to have is to start working together like you're on the same team is clarity, right? Clarity on where this ship is headed. As a family, as a partnership, as a business, as a team. You have to kind of know the target you're aiming for. And everybody has to know the target that we're aiming for. In relationships and romantic partnerships, as parents, as a couple, as business partners, as an organization and team, as a company, you can't hit a target. You don't know where you're aiming it at, Right? So really having the conversations, because your teammate might think you're headed in a completely different direction. So we have to know and have the hard conversation. And many, many of you might be afraid to have this conversation because you know that you're headed in different directions. You can't avoid this part. You can try and throw a bunch of shit up at the wall, but if you don't have this clarity, it ain't ever going to stick. And you'll just end up more frustrated, more energetically bankrupt, and wasting more time. But let's say you have this conversation and you as a team, an organization, a family, a couple, a partnership. All right, we know the target we're aiming for. Let's freaking go. Now this is where part two, where the enneagram really helps, because it's going to get messy. It will disrupt some things, especially if you've been doing things a certain way. Nothing changes if nothing changes. And this is where feelings usually get hurt, is like, we've made the decision, now we're going. And all parties are in their own kind of motives, their own fears, their own coping mechanisms. And this is where shit goes sideways. And this is where all the. The things start to implode. And this is where compassion number two, there are four Cs. Clarity is number one. Compassion is number two, it is really hard to be and feel compassion for somebody if you feel like they're being disrespectful for your needs, your motives, your fears. And this is where the Enneagram can streamline this at such a fast pace. It doesn't mean it's always going to feel good. I'm not saying you're not going to get angry. I'm not saying you're not going to be sad or hurt or any of those things. But you will be able to have compassion because you will understand it isn't about you, their behaviors, what they're doing, especially if it feels really disrespectful or disruptive, quite often has to do with their core Enneagram type and their fears. And when you understand at least what you know what you're like, when you understand what you're working with, it makes it a lot easier to not do this power struggle game where you start to begin like you're. You're actually on opposing teams rather than the same one. You can't skip this without compassion first for yourself and how maybe you are stuck here and also for the other person. It's going to be really, really hard to have traction and have sustainable movement and momentum moving forward for that, number one, clarity of the vis. This is usually where I will say you need your core Enneagram type, especially if you're using this tool. And I know if you're listening, you like this tool, you're interested in this tool, you're curious about this tool. Go get your Enneagram blueprint done off my website traceyomalley.com work with me section seriously, you'll have the right information. And if you don't even want to, like, sit down with me one on one, you have over 300 episodes to understand what that means with your teammates and yourself, right? But it's really hard to move forward out of conflict and out of that fracture in the team without compassion. And it's going to be really, really hard to have compassion if you don't understand. Now, if you're unwilling to understand, you can just turn this podcast right off. And I'm not the person for you. If you just want to be right, I am certainly not the person for you. I am here if you want to be effective. Which takes me to number three, the number three C. And that is compromise. This one is hard. This one is hard. But it becomes a lot easier when you've really, really, really focused on number two, compassion, compromise. This is where do we want to be Effective or do we want to be right? And this is where that Remember in the beginning when I said you have to take an inventory. Is this person honest, open and willing, honest with themselves, open to things outside of maybe what they know in their perspective and are they willing to be all in with unconditional comm and consistency? This is where number three, you have to check yourself too. This isn't just about blaming and pointing fingers at the other person, being unreasonable or unwilling. If you are unwilling to compromise, then you have to turn the mirror around on yourself too. Now if you've gotten through the clarity and you have compassion, even when it hurts and even when it's you want to punch them in the throat and even if you are at the point where you're like, yes, we are going to compromise, we both have different perspectives that we bring to the table or as a team we bring to perspective. Number four is where we take corrective action and we start steering the ship in a different direction. This is how you start to move together like a team. It doesn't mean it's pretty y', all, it doesn't mean it's going to be without conflict. It will be. But when you can kind of go through these four steps. Clarity, compassion, compromise and compassionate corrective action, you will be moving forward like a team. And you know, this goes for my home team and your home team. This goes for my professional team and my partnerships that I have. Not just my romantic partnership, but also my business partnerships that I have. All of these things. I take it through these four things. But before I even start, I take that inventory, first of myself. Am I honest, open and willing? Is the other person and partner and the people honest, open and willing that will let let you know how disruptive this might get or how challeng this might get. But if you are here to make an impact in your homes and in your businesses, it is worth it and it is worth this temporary discomfort. In going through this process in order to have long game success, long game fulfillment, long game impact, and long game satisfaction, it's super important to understand that sometimes the greatest catalyst for growth is conflict and learning how to navigate that. So you as a team are working together like you are on the same team. You know, with great reward comes great responsibility and to whom much is given, much is required. This is the key. And this is why I love the enneagram. It really helps you move through this process so much quicker. Talk about accelerating growth. And I love bringing this tool into people just like you, you and families and teams and marriages and all sorts of people. It doesn't matter if you're sitting in a boardroom in a Fortune 50 company, which I do. I work with high level C suite executives and CEOs and multi million dollar entrepreneurs and I work with moms and dads just like you. And I work with couples and I work with individuals. Helping you integrate this beautiful tool of the Enneagram in all areas of your life. If you want to accelerate growth, if you want to accelerate transformation, if you want to have more clarity, compassion, the ability to compromise and take compassionate corrective action in your life so that you can move the needle and move the impact that you're making, go to my website, inquire. I can customize certain things for your family on the website. It's very cut and dry. If you have a partner, whether it's a romantic partner, business partner, I've been doing a lot of those. If you want to kind of sit down with yourself for yourself, that's also on the website. But it all starts with getting the correct typing on the Enneagram. And all the online assessments out there are inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time. If you want to figure it out on your own, by all means, have at it. But if you have the wrong information, this tool doesn't work as well as you would like it to. And so that's why I've created the blueprints. My assessment is over 95% accuracy. I've done over thousands and thousands of case studies, so I know this to be true. And at least if you're using this tool and this roadmap to honor your soul and honor what you're here to do in this lifetime. How you are always divinely made. This is a beautiful starting point and it helps you stay rooted in who you are and who you are always designed to be. It helps you get back on track if you've been taken off track. It helps you get clarity if you've been kicked in the teeth in this lifetime and to not use all that stuff as a reason to stay stuck or sabotage or to procrastinate. And eight, if you know you are here for more, or if you are somebody who's leading a team in your home and in your businesses, reach out to me. Go to Tracey O' Malley.com inquire about that. I would be honored to take you through this journey. It has been really, really cool to see teams and teammates come together with beautiful compassion and understanding and empathy and seeing maybe where things got off track. A little bit. And it doesn't have to be as hard as maybe you're making might 90 little minutes with me, honestly. But either way, reach out. I love doing this work. I love it. I'm obsessed with it. I will go to my grave doing it because I see the impact that it makes. The compound effect of you deciding this is going to stop today. I need a guide. Show me the way so I can make a difference. And that's the beauty of me doing this work with you. You know, I know the way. I go the way and now I'm here to show the way. Go to Tracy O' Malley.com the work with me section to find out more or inquire within. If you are on Instagram, follow me at Tracy Underscore o' Malley if you have questions you can always slide up into the dms. I'm happy to answer anything there. As always, I'm super grateful for your time, your treasure of time. I know you don't get this time back, so it means the world to me that you have decided to give some of that to me. And my gift and the wisdom that I bring to this world. Wisdom I'm super passionate about helping you with means the world to me. But in the meantime, I'm wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. We'll talk to you soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Lead with the Enneagram Podcast Podcast. Please help us spread the word about.

This show and the Enneagram by sharing.

It with a friend and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram @tracy o'.

Malley.

You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

RA.