EP325: Are you ready for the NEXT CHAPTER in your life? 5 Things you need to do to make it happen

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news. You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey, welcome back to another episode of.

Lead with the Enneagram. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, and today I want to talk about turning the page and the next chapter in your life. And this is the real benefit of me being 50 something years old here because I've had several chapters in this book of life that is mine. And I work with so many of you that feel like you're on the verge of a next chapter. You're ready to let go of the old chapter, but you feel stuck and you don't know if maybe you're. You're operating or quitting a miracle or something too soon to go to the next. So trying to find clarity on is this the right time for the next chapter? Or if I am, if I know it's time for the next chapter, what I need to do in order to prepare for it right now, full transparency. Your girl here. Usually when it was time for a next chapter for this, this lady that's talking to you right now. I usually was blowing up my life or it came to an abrupt end. The next chapter was kind of forced. I don't recommend that. I happen to have thrived in that kind of environment, but that isn't necessarily what is good overall for us. My nervous system didn't like it. The people that I loved were extremely disrupted by it. You know, I have the receipts to show it kind of worked out okay for me, but that's not necessarily the responsible and honoring way to go about it. Right. Because part of me was so afraid to decide, quit, admit that that part of the story was over. You know, as an enneagram8, I'm always wanting to prove how strong I am. Like, that's the life language and the love language of an 8. And, you know, I couldn't necessarily see a good enough reason to end it. So it's like, let's blow up my life so I can show myself and the world how strong I am in order to move into the next chapter. So much so. And I've. I've really done a lot of chatting with my clients, my VIP private clients about, you know, some of these aspects of my life where I've recognized this about the next chapter. And, you know, this is how hard this might be for somebody like you. And I'm sharing this with you because I know that there are many of you that really want to take the next steps into what's next for your life. But, you know, you're going to have to leave some people, places and things behind. And it's really, really scary. And it feels even maybe selfish to want more, to do more, to be more. And I was talking to one of my clients earlier this week about, you know, when I knew that my time in Chicago was over. I really, really did. And I knew that I was ready for me to live my. My next life. And I was 20 years old, 21 years old. And I really, really in my heart of hearts, believed at the time that it was selfish for me to leave my dad's house for something that I wanted. Now I know how codependent and up that is. Trust me, I've been in therapy for a long, long time and obviously have been doing my own deep dive into the work for over 23 years now. But I really believed the only way that was justifiable for me to move into the next chapter of my life was to get married. And it's. When I got married at 21, I. I literally went from my dad's House to my spouse's house and our house. Right. And I've never lived alone. Fun fact about your girl. And I'm about to face that as both my children will probably have their own houses and things this year. But I know for many of you that next chapter, when things are good or things are okay, or it feels like a little self absorbed or selfish to move into the next step, it can be really, really challenging. So, you know, what does that next chapter look like for you? And here's the thing. You have to kind of evaluate. Are you going through the motions? Do you know you're not living up to your potential? Are you ready for a change? Or are you avoiding something that's for you right now? Maybe because it's challenging, it's hard. Maybe you're in the thing that was your next chapter and you're passionate about it, but maybe it's not going the way that you planned it or expected it to or envisioned it. Right? Right. It's hard. It's freaking hard. And maybe you have people in your life that are telling you that it's time to move on or, or one of those things. But I really want to talk to you about clarity on what that looks like for you. This is why working privately with me, the VIP 101 coaching that I do, I do have openings right now, by the way. They just opened up. And you know, I know that it's hard because I know for myself I can justify a lot of my decisions and my actions and a lot of the things that I do. And a lot of it is to avoid pain, to run, to protect myself in a way that maybe doesn't serve me right. So really having clarity about who you are and what's really motivating all of this decision making about the next chapter. And I use obviously the tool of the Enneagram to really keep myself in check all the time. You know, understanding your core enneagram type and the framework connected to it can really help you discern and compassionately be honest with yourself, with what's really going on for you. Is it time for the next chapter or are you holding back from stepping into the next chapter because you're afraid? Right. Maybe you're in the middle of a life change. Right. I'm about to go through another life change, becoming a full blown empty nester. I've had little waves of, of one of the birdies leaving the nest and coming back and, and all the things. And I've been married and divorced and in relationship out and you know, sometimes a life change can really spark this. It sparks new perspective, how short life actually is. And I'm telling you, I'm turning 51 in a month, that puts a lot of things in perspective, that I've lived more than I have left, right? And, you know, our time on Earth is never guaranteed. And, you know, with COVID kind of shifting the entire world and the economy and everything that's going on, maybe now more than ever, you know, you have more inside of you to do, and you're ready for that next step. So here's the other thing that. That can happen. And maybe you're in this right now, because I know if you're listening right now, you're. You're into personal growth. Maybe you're dabbling in it. Maybe somebody shared this podcast with you because you're on this journey. And when you start to accelerate your growth, not just by taking in information, because a lot of this.

Overload is actually keeping you stuck out of the next chapter, right? There's. There is having some clarity and some information, and there is taking action, which is really, really important. But there's this middle part. I talk about this all the time. There's this middle part in the. In the messy and acknowledging kind of how we got here, right? So many of you have this awareness that you're ready for what's next. You know, you've got more, and you've put yourself in the rooms. You've maybe even hired a coach or two. You've taken some course, right? You're aware that you're ready for what's next. You're. You're tired of not living up to your potential. You're tired of going through the motions. You have children that you are saying you can do, be, and have anything you want, and you know you're not doing that, right? And you're very aware of that. And so what is happening right now, you are taking massive action. You're putting yourself in the rooms. You're hiring coaches. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But so often it's like we want to rip the band aid off and just take action. And there's really not acknowledging how we even got here. We have to connect the dots. This is how we find true passion and purpose in the journey. This is how you will know when you're landing in the right places, because so many of us are aware that we're not feeling good about where we're at. And so we, boom, just what's next? What's next? And we chase the shiny objects or the shiny coaches or the real fluffy, you know, fantasy marketing that's out there instead of really acknowledging what and where we are and how we got here and meeting it with, with compassion. Right. You know, I have some decisions and choices that I've made in my life in the last 51 years that aren't always wonderful to look at. Right. And burying myself in shame, honestly, would just. And it did kept me stuck in a cycle of chasing the shiny objects or blowing up my life. Right. And it wasn't until I really sat and settled in the, the center of acknowledging kind of the motive behind everything I did, the fears that were kind of creating that shit show in my life, and also finding the compassion for the scared part of me that was running away from so many things in our life. And so when you start to accelerate your growth and lean into this acknowledgment part, which is my sweet spot in my coach, like, I am a hell of a strategist. I'm fucking great. I'm a great strategist. I can help you take action. I can absolutely help you become very, very aware. It's my superpower. But where I am best for you is helping you acknowledge the truth and the timing and what's required for you to move forward. But don't be surprised when you really start to, to lean into that part. You know, it gets harder before it gets better. You get sad before you celebrate because you start to look at maybe things you've missed out on. Or if you're like me, you're like, holy shit, life is going so damn fast. It's okay to feel the sadness as long as we don't bury ourselves under shame, right? But here's some tips on helping you kind of move into the next chapter when maybe you have the awareness, maybe you are doing the acknowledging. And if you need help with the acknowledging, please go to my website right now, Go to the work with me section and fill out a one on one application. It is not going to be easy and it is not going to be inexpensive. And it is a hell of an investment. It's probably the best investment, let me tell you, that you'll ever make. Because these tools will take you into not just the next chapter, but beyond. And not just in your professional life, but your personal life. Right? That's the beauty of the work that I do. It's holistic. You know, I've got obviously a lot of cred street cred in business and strategy and impact and all the things. And I got a hell of a lot of street cred in my personal life too. Right. I have over 10 years of sobriety. I have raised two amazing children in their mid 20s at this point that are kicking ass in life. I'm stronger and healthier at 50, almost 51, than I've ever been in my life. Right. So taking a holistic approach towards your next chapter will help you really become aligned and a full body. Hell yes. And what's next? So how do you begin that next chapter of life gracefully? Right. First and foremost, you kind of have to grieve what was and let go. You know, it's. It's really hard because you can see clearly maybe what the next chapter is. Maybe you've had dreams about it. I had a dream about this next chapter that I'm walking into seven years ago. I saw it very, very clearly. And in order to move towards that and make room for that, you have to let go of what's been happening. Maybe it's people, places, or things. You have to make room for it. You can't hold on to it until that next thing shows up. It doesn't work that way. The magic can't move in unless you have made room for it. And if you don't, you will only remain stuck and you'll get more frustrated with it. And it can be really, really difficult. If you're facing is like, let's say, you know, you're. You're going through a life change, you're going through a divorce, you're going through whatever that is. It might be helpful to take some time to work through the emotions and grieve the past with somebody like me so that you can truly, truly, truly not just say you're letting them go, but letting yourself let it go and grieve it and go through the full range of emotions. Number two in moving into the next chapter is visualizing and clarity on what that looks like. And having an awareness, acknowledgement process will allow you to do that. In order to begin a new chapter of your life successfully, you really have to have clear ideas on what your hopes are, what the expectation of that might look like. Because every time a new chapter of life begins, you really have to envision where you're headed. You can't hit a target you're not aiming for and you can't see. Right. So at least when you have a clear image of what you're hoping for, then we can start reverse engineering what that looks like number three. Taking inventory. Taking an inventory, evaluating where you're at. This is really, really important. This is this acknowledgement part that most of you want to skip. Because this is where we have to be radically honest with ourselves. Now, when I say radically honest with ourselves, that doesn't mean we pull out a whipping stick or should all over ourselves, right? This is like taking that inventory of maybe who you've surrounded yourself with. Maybe you have to take an inventory of who you've aligned with. Maybe you have to take inventory of who you trusted. This includes your own habits, your routines, your mindset, your emotional health, your spiritual health, your personal physical health, everything. You have to understand where you are right now. And that will help you understand where you need to go and where to work to get yourself where you want to be and what you need to let go and who you need to let go of. You have to make room. I can't say this enough. It's really, really a hard part of the process, but it's really, really important to move forward. Okay, Once you've taken inventory, guys, I apologize for my voice. I know it sounds terrible. I'm still fighting this chest cold. But after you take inventory and you have clarity and you've begin, begun the grieving process, because I feel like that's an ongoing process. You have to take some action. You have to figure out what you have to change in order to make that vision happen, the next chapter happen. This is where the real change starts happening. This is when you're beginning that next phase. And it's very important to shift and adapt. And these life changes can be really, really scary and difficult. Like I said, I'm about to step into another version of that. Not just in my personal life with my kids, but professionally. And it is scary and it is a great opportunity for growth. You can hold space for the scary and the excitement of growth and personal development and self improvement all at the same time. You need to figure out what and who you need to connect yourself with, what rooms you need to be in, what coach you need to have in your corner that can actually take you to that next chapter. Right? Some things to prepare, like ditching habits that don't make you happy and sticking to that, prioritizing your mental health and making time for the self honoring process, the evaluating of your relationships. Sleep schedule, money saving plan, money investing plan, nutrition movement, calendar blocking, yoga, really, really, really important. Honestly, I'm not a big morning routine person, but I am a hell of a nighttime routine person. Right? Maybe changing up your appearance. One of the big things I did when I was moving into a next chapter was chopping my hair off and getting rid of hair extensions. I'm not saying you need to do that, but I was. That old hair was old energy from an old chapter, right? And really spending solitude time, not isolation time, but solitude time. And reminding yourself daily of your, your desire and goals for the next chapter. Now number five, and this is really, really important, is leaning in to support. And with all of that and the 1 through 4, it's really, really important that you have the right people in your corner. Now you might have to pay some of these people. And honestly, I have never moved into a next chapter even when I was blowing up my life without some kind of investment. One of it was rehab, right? Some of it was a therapist. I have hired several coaches and ment. Have invested in masterminds, right? But leaning into support, you might have great people in your personal life and incredible friends in your network and that's amazing. Are they the ones that are going to hold you accountable and meet the realest version of you? Do they see the realest version of you? Embracing this change and leaning in can be easier said than done. It's really, really common to feel a bit out of control or lost when you're moving into this next chapter. And it can feel really lone, right? And so that's why, especially if you know you're ready for a next chapter, having the right people in your corner and the right coach, I mean all the best athletes, all the best entrepreneurs, all the best speakers, all the best, whatever, parents, honestly, we all have support. We all have support. And there's something beautiful about having somebody in your life that can be objective and also that isn't in the thick of it with you like that in your personal life all, all the time. And like I said, I have opened up spots. I got through the holidays when I was inundated with amazing, beautiful people that I was working with. That schedule has lightened up a lot. And so I have space and I'm very, very selective about who I take for that private VIP one on one coaching. It is quite an intense container. It doesn't mean that you, you, you are putting any part of your life on hold. In fact, you are taking action in all areas of your life while you're in this work with me. Because we do take the holistic approach to your whole life, right? You're a person. You may be a parent, you might be a business owner, you might be a spouse, you Might have friends, you might have networks. Right. Like ripping off all these different hats all the time has left you energetically bankruptcy. And to do what you're about to do in this next chapter, you need the most pivotal support of all. So if this is resonating with you and you know you're, you've got a hell yes, you're ready for this. And maybe you have some coaching ptsd, maybe you have trusted the fantasy marketing and bought into the easy button. I'm telling you, this is not going to ever be easy. It will be worth it. And having the right person to pull you through the hard parts of the trench is priceless. And I am honored to be that person for thousands of people. I've worked with thousands of people over the last decade in this work and I continuously take myself through the process too. Now is the time more than ever. I think 2023 is landing and hitting us all a little differently. And we all know like who it's coming, it's coming. And you definitely want to go into this next chapter for your life ready and supported and feeling empowered instead of scared or instead of blowing up your life like this girl used to. Yeah, that's all I gotta say about that. I think I've hit you between the eyeballs enough. You know, we're moving into, you know, we're almost done with quarter one of 2023. That is unbelievable to me. And I know that maybe the excitement of, you know, January 1st has long gone, worn off and now you're like, oh crap, crap, what am I going to do next? Let me help you. Let me help you really gain clarity, passion, excitement, embrace the grieving process of what was into what is coming. And let's, let's ride this, this thing together. I'd be honored to guide you on that journey. It's my favorite, favorite thing to do. I will always work one on one with people. It is what I'm most passionate about, quite honestly. And I love to see the compound effect of the work we do together and how that impact that your next chapter will make on every single person that you love and every person that you lead moving forward. Go to Tracey O' Malley.com the work with me section to inquire about that. If you don't know your enneagram type, that's a very, very great way to start to have clarity about maybe what's motivating you and what's holding you back and what you're most afraid of. Moving forward. You can get your blueprint today. You'll be accurately typed with over 95% accuracy. You will get a customized 75 page blueprint that I have made for you to give you full clarity on that. If you want to dabble in this guidance, you can do a 90 minute power session with me to kind of go through that and gain some clarity. Maybe you've already done that and you're ready for the next chapter and you're a Hell yes. Go ahead and fill out a one on one application. We'll hop on a quick call with zero pressure. Like I said, I'm very, very selective about who I will work with and when I will work with them. So if you know you're being called to fill that out and you are ready and you have resources available, go do it now. Don't waste one more minute of 2023. As always, I'm wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. Hopefully next time we chat my voice will not sound like I've been smoking chain smoking cigarettes for 20 years. I'm so grateful and honored that you spend your time here with me and we will talk soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.