EP326: The Best Version of Your Multi-Passionate, High Achieving Self and Living Your Best Life with Rebecca Cafiero (Enneagram 7)

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And I haven't done an interview in a long, long time because I am not somebody who will just interview for the sake of interviewing. I only bring cool ass people to you and people that I actually really, really trust and respect and. And today's guest is Rebecca Cafiero, who is one of my best friends and one of the only people I trust, quite honestly, in business. I mean, there's probably maybe five people total that I would ask advice for and she is in the top three for sure. I trust her with my life. She has been a friend of mine for almost a decade now, which is so crazy. And I remember the day that I met her, I was like, this woman is a star. This woman is a star. I don't know if she knew that yet. She's a star because she's an enneagram7. So she's a star everywhere she goes. But finding her zone of Genius, especially the last decade has been really, really, really fun to watch. And today we're going to kind of chat about what it's like to be a multi passionate visionary. You know, even if you're not an enneagram7, I know you're going to relate a lot. The high achieving woman, the get done kind of girl out there. You are gonna fall in love with Rebecca and you're gonna want to work with her. So. Hi, honey.

Hi. You're. You're getting my four showing up feeling all emotional already. I'm like, ah, my most.

Oh my gosh.

Love you.

Seriously, I haven't done an interview in 2023 yet.

Wow.

And yeah, because you know what? I just don't love random ass. I really, really don't. And I know where I leaned into my head.

I'm like, small talk. Like, please.

No, I know. I seriously, I only want to bring stuff to you guys that will bring you so much value. And, you know, not just being friends with her for a decade, but seriously, as someone that benefits from her genius and her gifts, and her gifts happen to make me very, very uncomfortable. Like, insanely uncomfortable. But there's something to be said about having somebody that you would, you know, first of all, take a bullet for and trust with your life to help you in the most vulnerable parts of your life. I don't take that lightly, so.

Which is also what you do for me. And by the way, you are my first podcast interview of 2023 on my birthday, which comes out next week.

Oh, my gosh. Really?

Same week.

How fun. Yes. Oh, my goodness. That is going to be so exciting. So I wanted to chat today about what it's like to be a multi passionate woman and a mom at the same time and, you know, a partner and a friend. You are all over the place. I seriously don't know how you do everything that you do and the way that you do it so beautifully. And I know you'll probably be like, yeah, it ain't so pretty all the time.

It's not.

So what, what's that like? What's that like? I know, you know, I'm. I'm somebody who isn't necessarily multi passionate, but I'm very intense. So it feels like a time bomb going off all the time. What is it like for you as a multi passionate woman? And how do you decide which is a Hell yes and which you have to kind of like balance or find harmony in, you know, spinning all those different plates.

Right. You know that because I'm a seven it's not going to be a straight answer. I know to go back in time, so. Well, thank you for that. So I want to start with. I've always been that way. And it was highly criticized. Always, like, you're too much and, you know, you've got too many things going on. And of course, my parents, you know, trying to be very controlling of, like, you need to write down all the activities you're in and quit half of them. And I look back and like, yes. Did being, you know, the captain of the cheerleading squad and on the softball team and student body and working at the newspaper and every other extracurricular you could, you could possibly be part of, did it create burnout? And maybe because I didn't know how to differentiate between, like you said, the hell yeses or the shoulds, and now I have a much better compass or decision process. But I actually think that the burnout that I ended up in was two parts. It was one that just stress and that was not understanding myself and not also understanding the people that especially in my younger years and in my 20s, were around me and how to navigate those relationships. But it was also because I was operating for a long time as a three. And you were the one that showed me that on my very first test back in January 2020, you're like, Rebecca, you're like exactly equal between a seven and a three. But I know you and you're a seven. And it was because I was still in a place where I was using achievement to validate. And not that I still don't love to achieve, but I love to achieve now because I'm called to something, not because I feel FOMO around it and learning that difference that it kind of like you said, if it's not a hell no, it's a hell, or it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. But learning for me, when I think about why do I want to do something? Because I do want to do it all, I am inspired by other people's passion. If you're passionate, I'm passionate about your passion. And I might want to try it. But in realizing if I ask myself, well, why do you want to do this? Separating from that moment, that emotion, and the answer is, because I should, because I can, or because I have a fear of missing out, that's actually a no for me.

Now, I was going to ask you about that because, you know, being the multi passionate and believing that anything is possible and nothing's off the table, that is your spiritual gift is an enneagram 7, but it can also be your kryptonite. Right. Because one of the biggest fears of an enneagram 7 is a, being trapped or boxed in, and B, feeling pain they don't want. And not physical pain, but like the negative feelings, the negative vibes, the. The painful stuff. So how do you discern whether or not this is something You're a fuck. Yes. And I'm going for it because you're passionate about it versus I'm avoiding. Right. Because that. That seven energy, their futuristic thinker. What could happen and sometimes that what could happen can create pain. So you're like the shiny object syndrome. How do you discern? Because I know we can justify any of our own shit.

Yes.

Right. So how do you discern that one is getting.

I mean, because I know we can curse on this podcast. Getting my ass kicked a couple of times. But I didn't listen to my intuition.

Yeah. And.

And you don't remember Peter Kelly. So she had this thing that she talked about about a year ago, and it was really about, like, using the body and like asking the body, like, what's around the corner? And this was specific to eating. Like, if you're about to eat something, like having caffeine in the afternoon, asking your body, like, how am I going to feel in two hours from this? And I actually think that we, like, have this innate wisdom. And I'm. I'm highly sensitive physically. And I know you are also probably our double mthfr. But I look back at crossroads in my life and there's a few I can think about. One was a relationship with a absolute narcissist and sociopath, which was not pretty. And you and I talked about that.

And that is a great. She needs to write a book about that one. It was crazy.

I would. I will some way, but I'll have to under a pen name because I have no desire to have this person.

Yeah.

No putting any attention onto me, especially now that I have small children. But I had that ping of like, this is not a good idea. But then I also had pheromones. They were like, ooh. But it feels really fun and exciting. And then the other time was in a business situation where I had someone that approached me, wanted to invest in something that they were starting with startup. But then they approached me about actually being the CEO, which was very flattering. And literally that first moment I go, this is an amazing idea. But I don't trust this person. They had done a little burn on me in the past, and it Wasn't terrible, but I just innately didn't trust them. And I will say I ended up doing that and investing a year of my life into that and a lot of time and a lot of money. And I walked away losing $30,000 and the money because that person did exactly what I thought they were going to do, which is they weren't honest. And so I've learned to listen. The other thing is I use hypno breath work. For me, I have to be. It's like the most powerful tool ever. And even in that, there's days that I know I need to do breathwork on a specific thing, like something I'm really stressed about. And I will not do it on that. I'll do it about something else. Like, no, I don't want clarity on this difficult decision. I want an action item on this business thing that I'm excited about. So I will say I will avoid the unblocking of the shit to go do the fun thing. And that's. That's me not wanting to feel the pain of. Like, you actually know the right answer, but are you ready to actually confront it?

Right. It's kind of like going around asking advice until you get the answer that you want. And then you're like, yes, that's the advice I'm taking.

Yes.

But also, I think.

But to your question about, like, how do I do this all, like, so I've always been. So I'm an enneagram 7.

Yeah. With.

I think my. My 8 and my 2 are pretty.

That's your tri type. Yeah. So she's got a Tri type of 7 in the. That's her core type. She's an 8 instinctual and 2 in the heart space. So she's. She's a big, intense feeler of all things. And she is the one on one subtype. Well, FYI, which means I love to.

Help, but I also show up completely certain and convicted.

Yeah.

And that's. I mean, that can be very, very good until I'm convicting myself when I'm. When I actually shouldn't do something.

But. But I also.

I mean, if anyone's a human design, I'm also a generator. And so I've learned that as long as I'm following what I want to do and what excites me, I have unending energy. And I also have.

I wish I was a generator. I'm just not.

What are you?

Are you a projector or manifestor manifesting generator? So I can kick it into high gear, but only if I'm passionate about it. Only then. But the good news is, once I find it, I can do it.

You can do it.

All right. Keep going.

Well, and I'm a generator, and I'm a seven. So that means I can find a lot of things I'm passionate about. And people are like, burn the candle at both ends. But I also. I have a short sleep gene, and I have been prioritizing over the last year. Sleep. But that's probably part of the reason I have adrenal fatigue, is even though my brain can operate very well on little sleep, my body is like, no, I'm keeping score. So I don't share this with many people, but when I was in my 20s and I was at my first job, I had a couple friends that after about six months of working together, they're like, we were pretty sure you were on white drugs, but now that we know you don't drink caffeine, don't drink soda, don't eat red meat. I was like, oh, my God. I've never done white drugs. But it's because I do have a pretty high intensity. And I've learned how to be more in my body instead of up in this very high anxious energy, which if I feel that now, I know, like, this is my. My body telling me to stop.

That's what I love about the Enneagram, too, because we have, like, our nervous system and our intuition that in a beautiful, perfect world, we would honor both of those things all the time. But because we've had experiences and traumas and gotten our ass kicked a couple times, we. We bypass that. So really knowing your framework has allowed you to get back to your nervous system and your intuition even faster, you know, and then obviously combining things like hypno breath work and things like that. So one of the things that I. I think you've heard me explain this before in the many things that we've done over the years, whether it's just me and you, you and your husband, you and your team, you and your mastermind members, your clients, whatever. The way that I describe the seven is, like, you walk around in life with all these anything's possible ideas, and you throw them around like glitter all the time. And although that's really fun and exciting, if you don't create the environment or the container for any of that to take root, you're just flinging glitter all over the place, and it can be annoying, right?

So, especially for my husband, who's an Enneagram free, and he's like, can you Just focus on one thing at one time. And thankfully you got to tell him Rebecca. Gino, that is like stabbing Rebecca in the soul. You can't use that language with her.

But that would be like telling him, don't be excellent in anything that you do, like, take off your, your blinders and, you know, look at the rest of the world. Like, he'd be like, no, not happening. But that is one of the things about Enneagram Sevens as the enthusiastic visionary. Right. You have to create a container, an environment in order for the imagination and that anything's possible to actually come into fruition. And I think in the decade I've known you, you've. You've had probably five or six different things that you've done, and all of them were very successful and amazing. But what I've seen you do, especially since Vivi was born and Covid happened, I've seen you really use this framework because you, you know, this is the gift of wisdom as well. And having the receipts to show that this worked out pretty well when I actually did this, even though it's not a natural. Go to as a seven. How do you go to that five, which is, you know, your growth number. Right, right. So all my Enneagram sevens out there, you go from like this enthusiastic visionary into the, the quiet specialist, which, you know, when you're in that quiet, it can feel very anxious. Right. How do you go there and then produce and how do you, when you don't want to go there, stay there?

Such a good question. I'm again going to go back. So in college, while I was doing too many things, I was taking 19 credits and working full time and all of it. But my favorite thing that I did was I was a journalist. And over the three years that I wrote for a paper, I had one year where I was a in depth reporter. And it was like the coolest thing ever because when I went from having to produce three stories a week, which is. That's a lot. When that's your part time job in addition to school.

Yeah.

And showing up to like, you know, whatever I was, City council meetings or whatever I was interviewing, to getting to meet the reporter, where I was responsible for putting out like two articles a month that were really in depth. And I can remember the joy of being like, go down. This is old school. Like to microfilms of the courthouse.

Yeah.

Get to do that research. And I ended up doing a. I.

Think it was a.

It was a four part story. It started out with an opinion piece I was doing A police ride along at this off the wall little tip from the cop was very cute. And I was, you know, 20, he was like 25. And then that led me to going and doing all this microfilm research. And it ended up being this four part expose that my little daily paper, like the news picked it up, the AP press, it got televised. They ended up firing a bunch like six people at the police department. It was. And I also got a lot of parking tickets and towed after that. But I think that was the first time. And then what you mentioned with Vivi, I didn't even, didn't even click until you said, that is I. When I went into sales and into my corporate career, there was just never a time for a pause. No, I mean, I went from 22 to, I mean, and then into my own network marketing bridge from career into kind of what I'm doing now into like full entrepreneurship. And I never paused. I built a network marketing business full time while having a full time job. That was before children. So I was like 70, 80 hours a week. And I didn't take the time off with Luca when he was born. And I really resented and like was upset about that because I went. The whole reason I pursued other opportunities is to create freedom. And then I didn't even use it. And so when Vivi, when I was pregnant with Vivi, about was actually right before I got pregnant with Vivi, I was dealing with some health stuff. It was like my body started to catch up. Adrenal fatigue, gut issues, all of this stuff. My naturopath told me, she's like, you need to stop, like almost everything. She's like, I want you to like six hour workday, all of this. And you know what? Like, it didn't feel controlling. I felt relieved.

Because I got a doctor's order to basically chill out and to drop a bunch of stuff. And I went, wow, this feels really good. And then so when I was pregnant with V, shortly after, and then I was about to go on maternity leave, I said, you know what? I'm not going to touch anything for three months. I am going to do the fourth trimester. I'm going to take care of myself, I'm going to bond with my baby because I had a nanny that I didn't have a nanny with Luca. So we'd had that all that time.

And so for three months, all I said is whatever I want to do. And all I did that I wanted to do is I did a little podcasting and I did a little writing and I was Just there. I didn't even open up my computer for about three weeks. And it felt so good that when that three months was over, I was like, I don't want to go back to what I was doing before.

So great. When a seven can do that, you get so much more clarity. And then when you do decide to, you know, put your foot on the gas, it's like, magic happens fast.

Yes. I'd like to say it was immediate, but it was so. She was born in April 2019, and again, I did nothing for a few months, and then I went to. I went to our yearly event. I think that was in January, and I was like. I was hoping that would excite me. And, like, because in the past, if I was just not feeling it, I could go to an event and be like, okay, now I'm lit up. And. And it did nothing. It was like. I was, like, flat on. Like, oh, crap. Right? And so then we did that. I mean, it was crazy. We did in the airport. I was in the airport. You were. You were, I think, at home. And that permission. And then you talked a little bit about the Five Cave. And I literally went back. I got home. I have chills. I got home. I think the next week, I went to a Mastermind retreat, and that's where I, like, was like, okay, it's time to do something different. And then I shut down everything. So I, like, I just mentally told myself, I'm not doing my network marketing business. Like, thank goodness for some residual income. I had a. We were doing branding retreats with a business partner, and. But it involved travel and with a small child. I did, too. And I was totally burnt out. I was like, let's put that on pause. And I just gave myself personal. I was like, I'm gonna spend. I'm like, I'm gonna spend, like, the next 90 days figuring it out. Not even building it, figuring it out. And.

And you were off social media, too? Because I remember I was like, okay, like, where is she?

I think. Yeah. I think when the pandemic started, I might have done, like, a Facebook Live or two. But, yeah, I always have been off of that. A couple of emails to my list. But I was writing, and I stopped podcasting because just. Also, I had just gotten Reiki 2 certified, and I was so attuned and opened energetically that when all the pandemic stuff started to happen, I was like, I can't. Which was really interesting because I typically can really deal with holding a lot, and I couldn't. So I was In Carmel. We moved to Carmel for three months, just me and the kids and our pair. At the time, Eugene was working. He was working from Palo Startup was in crazy mode. And I said, you need that space. I'll take the kids. And so I. I was just in this like, bubble and it felt so good. And I go in. In the mirror every morning and I literally look at myself and it sounds super woo. But I had. I had learned like six months earlier. I was at this leadership conference. It was small, and I'd had one on one time with a man that used to be basically like a monk, like a Tibetan monk. And they showed me this exercise and I had. I joke. I fell. I fell into the mirror. Completely sober. By the way, I've heard people do this, like on mushrooms or acid, and I've never done either of those things, but I, like looked in the mirror at myself after the event and I could see my soul. And I had a conversation and it was wild. And then I went home and I was like, can I still do this? Well, I didn't do it until the pandemic started. And then I would go in each day and I would connect with myself, which I now realize is like really my true voice. And I would just ask, like, what is right? What is next? And yeah, in the next six months, I built out the framework, the structure, the back end of something that has totally changed my life and hundreds of women since.

Thousands, I think it is probably seriously. And then you came out of the gates with the pitch club. And what was it in that six months when you were kind of like seeking the clarity? How did you know this was what it was?

So I went back to. I mean, I had done some of this work, but I had done it for myself to give a little background. You know, my. Like I said, my degree's in journalism, and I. I had studied journalism and I had worked at a paper. But when I. In 2017, I was like, I want more credibility. Because let's be real, right? Going from a VP of sales and marketing for a publicly traded company to.

I'm a network marketer.

I'm a network marketer. People like you have lost your mind. And, you know, I was like, listen, I get to choose my hours. And, you know, I definitely was a lot more freedom. And I was enjoying it. I really loved it the first few years, but I am still very grateful for that opportunity because it totally. So much. We met. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

I told me how to think differently. And I had gone to a couple. I Just had this answer that came up that was like, you need pr. You know, if you've, if you're speaking, if you're podcasting, if you're publish, like you are credible. And I, again, I don't share this with me. I was like, I'm going to use this to recruit. It's going to make it easier. And the PR agencies, they were all like, well, it's $5,000 a month. Or like one gave me a $12,000 quote for a month. I was like, are you flipping crazy? And especially that place. I think I'm at a different place about investing, investing money back. But I was in a mindset of like, no, like, if you're investing in a coach, it's a lot less. So I decided, I was like, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do it on my own. Because they couldn't promise me profit. And that was my hang up. With a background in sales and marketing, I'm like, yeah, visibility is great, but how is it actually going to drive sales?

What's the ROI on this?

Exactly? And no one could give me a good answer. So I started figuring it out on my own. And the first year, like 2017 through 2018, I think I had, I was really just looking at publications. I had like 20 national features, places like Reader's Digest, Women's Health, US News and World Report. And guess what? It worked. But then I fell out of wanting to use it for what I originally did. And I had a few one on one business coaching clients that were like, how are you doing this? And I said, well, you know, here's the thing. I don't know pr. I just know what's working for me. But it's kind of like I don't think I'm even doing it right, which is something I still joke about. And they were like, well, can you teach me or can you help me with it? And I had one client in particular who's just a great student. And I showed her, I just walked her through. And of course we tend to, in retrospect, show better than we did because we learned. And she, in her first 60 days of like applying these practices and strategies, she had 10 press mentions. Like, she ended up with five paid speaking engagements. She had a TV spot, like, got in Forbes, all this stuff. And I was like, holy crap, this really works. And so I started having more and more people ask me because they were seeing me. So I never intended to like, learn PR and teach it, but it just, it was something I naturally understood, and I understood it in ways I think traditional PR doesn't understand. I think actually traditional PR is really pretty broken because of my sales and marketing background. And it started to monetize and I just was excited about it because it felt like not only was it me getting to talk, I mean, hello, enneagram7. It was me getting to, like, continue to learn and improve. It was visibility.

It was something different every day.

Exactly. I could tell my story and it's going to be different every time. And so that was so much permission. It was so fun. And so when I launched the Bitch Club in 2020, I was like, okay. I actually started it with a mastermind. Well, course at a course. And then I was like, the course was like, how to DIY pr. But I'm like, I want to do a mastermind. And I've been in masterminds. And this was before, you know, Chris's, which obviously you and I are both in, but I've been in some masterminds and they were great about getting in a room with people that were investing and thinking different and connections. But the thing that I had heard the criticism, not from me, because I always like. I'm like, how am I going to be the MVP or the, you know, the most valuable student or whatever? I want to be the best student. I want to have the biggest transformation. But the criticism I'd hear from people is that they. They finished it and they didn't know, like, what the ROI is or they didn't. Like, there wasn't a clear transformation. And so I said, I'm going to create this mastermind that creates visibility and credibility and then up levels profitability. And so our first one, which was virtual because it was 2020, I just had these ideas. I'm like, this is what I'm doing. I'm taking them through a very specific process. I'm going to show everyone how to get pr, so they're all going to get media mentions. I'm going to. We're going to write. I published my book and it got bestseller and had a lot of people asking me about that. I'm like, we're going to do a collaborative book. I'd heard about this and I published my own. And so everyone's going to finish as a bestselling author. And it was six months and I was like, and I want it to be fast because I. Two reasons. One is I'm an enneagram7. Like, I wanted it fast, but secondly is I'm like, I want to move Them faster. Because I know people don't believe it. And I remember one of my clients, she's like, how the heck are we going to do all this in six months? Because she'd been in 12 month masterminds. And I said, because I think that people, if you have too much time, you're going to talk yourself out of doing. So we made it fast. And the proof was in the pudding. Like published a book, my bestseller. People got media. I mean, the women got media.

One of them 10x her income that year. It was crazy. And I was like, okay, let's just do this again. Let's just keep doing and making it better every time.

You know what I was thinking of when you were speaking of how you ended up doing this? You're not a professionally trained PR person, but your whole. Your own experience. And you pretty much created something that wasn't the way that you needed it to be back in the day. And it's funny because that's how I ended up doing this Enneagram thing too. I never intended like, I'm gonna learn the Enneagram and then share it with the world and be the go to. It was like I didn't like how it was being taught. I think it's crappy how it's taught out there. And now here I am.

Well, the gatekeepers. Is that. I don't know if that's a seven or an eight thing.

Yeah.

Who hate gatekeepers. They hate being controlled. Is that. Which one is it? Both.

Both. For different reasons. We both hate being boxed in or controlled or backed into a corner. And I'm. I was just like, you know, this is stupid. So anyway, she creates the pitch club. And, you know, we reconnected even deeper than we had before. And you started, obviously you had experienced the Enneagram with me. And then just like Rebecca, if she loves what you do. She is passionate. She is passionate. And she has been one of the greatest people that shouts me out, refers me, and she trusts me with her most valuable asset, and that's her people. How did using the Enneagram not just with your own team in the pitch club, but also clients, friends, your family. Why did you feel like that was something that would help you accelerate transformation even faster?

Well, I mean, it started with me just that first call. And that first call just gave me so much validation and permission. And then when I actually leaned into it and utilized the things that you talked about. Right. Like leaning into my 5 and started to understand it better. And that was still when I only understood My own type of. And my stuff, I didn't understand anything else. I didn't really educate myself until the last year once that happened. And then you and I, I mean, we were in contact, but we really reconnected last year in March. Then I. I'm trying to think if we did it with Eugenia first or did the mastermind. I was like, I want you to. I want you to do this by clients.

We did the mastermind for Mastermind.

So I brought in the clients. I just. I just had this intuitive hit that if I can understand them, I know I'm getting the results. But I also get really frustrated when someone is completely blocked. And I can't understand why she's talking about me.

Everyone. I am her worst client of all time.

No, no, no, no.

I totally am.

Absolutely not.

No.

But it was more of like they just. They'd have all these beautiful strategies laid out that I know would work and they would do nothing. Or I'm like, what is happening here? You know? And I always say I have so much belief, and then I have a certainty from being an eight. So I have like my seven beliefs, the certainty of an eight, and then I have the systems of a six that I can create whatever you want and I can build the bridge and I will, like, cheer. I give you the love. Shove along until you get to the other side and you have that belief for yourself. But I just have this intent that I'm like, I understand myself and I know how to use it. But if I can understand my clients better and if they can understand themselves the way that I have, then it could be such a tool. And that's when you came last May to our very first in person retreat and. And you know, did you're like, I don't know, three, four hour session. It was mind blowing. And so one that actually then I learned about everyone else and I started to be able to navigate it and they learned about themselves. And it was so cool because we did that on our first full day. And as they understood each other, their commonalities, their differences, they could hold space but also call each other up. And I saw that group gel like. No, it was. It was magic.

And then we had you and your hubs do it and like talk about a power couple and Mr. And Mrs. America right here. But they were like button heads. They're two very assertive types. We have a three and they're both one on one type. So they're both intense naturally. You know, the one on one type is the intensity of experience. We have a three and a seven. Why did you think it was important for you and a Geno to kind of sit down and have somebody like me or specifically have me kind of explain what's happening here?

So one is, you know, my husband and I were both very growth focused, but we're growth focused in different ways. And I always say like our relationship on default is really good. We have a really solid foundation. But one, our life moves incredibly quickly.

Right. Like it does.

Yeah. We're both founders. I mean he's got a team of 40. I my team smaller but you know, but we have, I joked like, but you don't really have clients. They have a very different business model.

Yeah.

And then you know, I've got investment.

Properties and yeah, we always.

Well, he doesn't deal with any of that. But like, yes, we've got two small children. We have, we've got, you know, investments. We have, you know, we just, we just run fast and we're both high achievers. We. That shows up in different ways and we just having like I always said it was never anything huge, but because we run so fast, even if it was something little, it felt like like when you hit a speed bump going fast, it's. It hurts. And I also knew that like we were growing but not intentionally together and I was concerned about that. But Eegino has this tendency and I think this is most people that have strong opinions. Like, like for example, cleansing. Right. For years I was like, you need to cleanse. You need to cleanse. Like literally years. I mean I'm building a six figure income around cleansing the body back in my network marketing days. And he's like, nope, nope, nope. And then he'll like go to a startup meeting and somebody has an app that's like about intermittent fasting. He's like, you know, I think I might want to intermittent fast. I'm like, are you effing kidding? So he does not like to be told told what to do. And I knew that. So at the time I, how I pitched it to him is hey, let's commit to date nights and let's once a month do one that's like experiential. So you were, I think you were our first or second. I did another one of my spiritual advisor slash astrologist. He was a lot less open to that one like human design person. He's always polite. But yeah. And then also I knew because, because one, you had met him before and because you knew the test, I knew you'd be able to Read him. And even though you were my friend, I knew you would not show up. Like you were going to be really neutral.

We weren't going to gang up on him.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And so you validated him. He's like, yeah, exactly. Which is why she's driving me crazy.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's been so fun to watch him. And then of course, he brought me into his team and flew me into California for his entire team of engineers. And it was amazing. And you know, we are doing lots of stuff together. And now, of course, I am like the worst case scenario client for you. And as an eight, somebody that doesn't want, you know, I fear vulnerability. I like to fly under the radar. I am very stealthy in how it's a miracle I have a business, quite honestly, because I don't promote myself at all. And I also know that that's selfish of me because what I do have is a gift and more people need it. And so last year, Rebecca was like, okay, this is it. No more being everybody's best kept secret. It's time. And honestly, I know that I'm the best at what I do, but thank you. Very, very scary. But there's nobody I trust more than Rebecca, and I'm still scared out of my mind to do it. Why do you think people of any enneagram type are afraid? I find people are more afraid of the success than they are the failure.

A thousand percent for me, I mean, what that is, is. And I think anybody out there that is a seven or has seven tendencies can resonate with this, that we're really good. Like, people are always like, oh my gosh, you're amazing at this. And I'm like, but I know that I'm actually, that's not my amazingness. I know that I can put in a C effort and get a B plus A minus and look really good to everyone. But when I go into my five, that's when I create the my A plus effort. And people are like, what just happened? Right? So I think that we all do that because if we actually step into that highest self, full potential, whatever you want to call it, right? That becomes our new benchmark. And I think we're all a little bit scared that, like, oh crap, if that's my new benchmark, then people are going to hold me accountable and I'm going to hold myself accountable. That that's, you know, what, what was my ceiling has become my floor.

Totally. Yep. Welcome to my life right now. This is kind of where I'M at with with all of this because it is time.

Well, because when you're, when you're doing teams at Google, YouTube, Amazon, John Deere, when you're, you know, facilitating mastermind groups with women that are. Have it. Have you know, multiple six figures to seven figure businesses and they are looking at you to be the navigator of who they are and how they go around and interact and create in the world. Like you don't get to play small.

No, I know, I know every private.

Eight needs a seven as their cheerleader.

A hundred percent. It's why like literally I have five people that are close to me. Four out of those five are sevens in my life. Honestly, like, and it's important and like two of my closest friends are sevens because I will err on the side of flying under the radar every fucking time. Every fucking time. So I need you in my life not just as my friend, which I'm so grateful for that literally would trust her and have trusted her at my most real time vulnerable moments. And I trust her with my business as well. I know there are a lot of people listening right now that maybe are like me. And they, they know that they have landed in their zone of genius and their spiritual gift and their purpose in this world and that very thing. I gotta tell you, having my purpose be also my gift is really, really scary. And how, how do you help people bring that not only to the world and to make impact, which is honestly my favorite part, but also monetize scale and make like ridiculous income as well.

Oh well, I mean the first, I think starts with very similar to what you do, which is to embrace your uniqueness is to stop trying to be like everyone else and stop fighting like the good and the bad. Right? You said our superpowered, our kryptonite. It's really, it's the same sword. It's just which side are you using? So that's the first thing is, and that's why I work with women, is giving women permission to like show up as that uniqueness. And I like to say like you're noble. So like who you are and your expertise, your business is what you do. So the more that you are, who you are, uniquely like you're nobles. Tracy, right? You, you have been sober for a decade. You're a dog mom. You have a. I mean obviously enneagram. That's, that's where you have a noble. That's also an area of expertise. The fact like grace and grit. Desert, Arizona girl. You, I don't know if you still are horseback riding. But I remember in the days that you were doing a lot of. A lot with horses. I mean, there's so many different things. Your children, obviously are probably the biggest one. You drive a big truck. So these are all things about you that people aren't going to hire you for anything except the Enneagram because of those things. I mean, you build massive teams, right? But they know you and like you. Even if they don't. Even if they don't share it in common, they connect. Because you're so clear on who you are. You're not trying to be someone else. And that is the first step. And that's not just in business. That's just in life, Right? The second then, is getting really clear on, like, where do I create transformation and what is unique about me? And instead of, like, I always say, instead of figuring out, like, what should. What can I do to make money or what can I do to own a business? Like, what do I already do that provides value that you can create a system around or a method around? What do people tell me when they tell me that was so helpful? What did you just do? Because that's. For me, the pitch club started out because I had launched my podcast having, I think I had, like, 17 women the year after I launched my podcast who said, hey, how did you launch your podcast and go new and noteworthy, like, how'd you hit top 100? And I'm like, I had a couple people that I asked questions to. I put together their strategy. How could I optimize it? And then I did it, and then I started teaching people. So I just looked at, like, here's where I provided free value that I could just do even better again and again. But anyway, back to the question is, is that it starts with actually, like, embracing your. Your magic and your uniqueness. And that requires us getting still.

Yeah, that. That's not fun. Not fun.

Well, it's fun for sevens. We're like, yay. We get to, like, be who we are, right? Put the megaphone and message. And then, I mean, literally, I have a. Ironically, I have a roadmap for this. So it's getting clear on who we are, what we offer, what's unique about us, what is our value, who do we want to work with? And I always say, not just who you can, not who just will pay you, but, like, who are you actually incredibly excited about?

Okay, so you have somebody like me who knows all those things and still finds themselves paralyzed. How do you help that person?

Okay.

Or procrastinating or doing what we do best, Sabotage.

I'm going to roll through a couple of things, and you just tell me where you want to dive in more. The other thing, I think that there is this conception out there, like, let's set a goal, like an income goal, and then we're going to create a reverse engineer. Exact reverse engineer, which, yes, that's important. However, what I first do is, like, what is the cost of my ideal life? Because a lot of people throw out, like, I want to make 100,000 or I want to double my income. And that is an arbitrary goal that is anchored into nothing emotional. So when you actually get clear on, like, well, what does my life cost? What is the cost of help personally or professionally? What is the cost of the giving? I want to be like, I am paying for my niece and nephew's college. So for me, it's like, okay, I know this year I need to save or put aside an extra $20,000. This is not coming out of our family money. This is coming out of my income, right? And then, by the way, next year I have a niece that's two years behind my nephew. So next year it needs to be 30 or 40. So I look at how much do I want to give, whether it's to a cause, a person, et cetera. And because especially as women, we are often going to be much more likely to push our ceiling if it revolves around giving. That also is me having that little. That piece of two in me. And then once you figure all that out, it's how do you actually want to market and promote yourself? Because it's different for everyone. So, yes, I teach pr, but. But what I really teach about, like, I call it, like, the three ways to create profit. And it's not actually about your services or offers. We're just assuming you have clarity on those. It's how do you get visible in the world? Because to be seen as an expert, look, I want you to picture a triangle, right? One side of the triangle, 1. One leg is visibility. It's eyes on your business. One side is credibility, which is that you can deliver the promise or the transformation. You say that you can do what you tell people you'll do. The bottom is profit. If you're not visible in the right places, that does not mean having a huge social media following. And if you aren't credible, you will not monetize what you're doing in a sustainable way. And there's a lot of people on Instagram that are highly visible, but you would not spend thousands of dollars with them. And there are people that are unbelievably credible and we can talk about, you know, you. But if they're not getting the right visibility, you also can't monetize. So I like to dive in with someone and like understanding their strengths and where they want to go of what is that right? Visibility. And so my 3 favorite. I love podcasts, especially for, well, I would say anyone that's a seven, maybe a four, a three and an eight. Right. Because it's ability to deliver a message, its ability to create feeling and the ability to speak really. Right. And we can talk about how you use that in business because there's some very specific ways if you're podcasting or podcast guesting to monetize the message presenting. So speaking now that could be zoom, that could be in front of a big group, that could be in front of a small group. But like there's one thing having a pretty lead magnet, there's another thing like having a pretty story. There's something totally different when someone experiences who you are, right. Which when you're speaking for 20 to 30 minutes, you can't hide that. The value you deliver and then the opportunity to get more value from you. And then the third is power partners and this is what you have. I mean, I'm making you do PR because I'm like, let's be real. These massive organizations that you are starting to work with, like you're getting in there because of your power partners, which we'll define. But now that you can put those logos on your website, that opens up the doors for other. It establishes more credibility, it creates better visibility and that all leads to profit and impact, right?

Yeah. You guys, seriously, if you know that you have been playing small and you need some maybe direction and honestly, like first of all, she's the best director and she sees things that visionary part of her, but also will hold you accountable with so much love and non judgment and, and heart and fire and all the things. How can they find you to either gain more clarity, use some of the tools that you have available, join your mastermind, fall in love with you, or where can they find you and all the things that you can help with. Like seriously, I'm so grateful I have you in my back pocket. Serious.

I'll give you a couple of things, but I'll tell you my favorite so you can go to my website, which is rebecca caffiero.com so C A F I E R O Just look at the, the podcast graphic. That'll be it and I've got some tools there. You can download it for those of you especially again as those threes, eight sevens or anybody that really wants to tell your story or to teach or deliver value with your voice and you want to podcast or present or SPE speak or you want media. I have a four in one pitch template. It is amazing. It is literally the template I use. You know, last week this is kind of hilarious, Tracy. So, and I was like, I was like, I need to be pitching myself. I did all these podcasts, I mean literally built my business and I, I have times that I spoke that led to like $60,000 in business that week. And, and so I last week I used it and like that podcast template or the pitch template that you can use for all of those different modalities, it'll take you like 10 to 15 minutes to customize it for a pitch and it is beautiful. So you can go get that. I'm also on social if you love the episode, first of all, you better be going and giving Tracy a five star rating. If you haven't already, take a screen capture if you are loving it and share it and tag me in it so I can see it and I can thank you or just drop into my DMs and I'm a voice memo girl. So send me a voice memo. Ideally under one minute, not a crazy long one. But the last thing I was just going to say that especially for those I like to say, the Quiet Eights or the Fives or the Sixes or maybe the Twos is power partners. And if you're in business and you really work well in that one to one environment and you don't like to be your own cheerleader, then you need to create some power partnerships with some sevens and some threes, like those people that are going to advocate for you. And not only you, Tracy, but one of our favorite fours you know, I'm talking about won't say her name, but she was someone I met that was leaving her company, that she was wearing her job that she was working at. And she's like, I'm going to go on my own and. But I hate social. And she had an audience of 200 people and no email list. And I said okay, but I'd worked with her. I'm like, you are unbelievably talented and you don't want to do social and you don't want to go, you don't want to be visible and that's okay. Not everyone needs to be out there cheerleading like me, that's. That's my personality and I love it. And so it's real for me, for her. I said, but you deliver such value that if you go and align with people like me, sevens and threes who are building communities, and you can come in as that feeling, understanding expert, you're going to have so much business. And she now has three power partners like me, and she has a multiple six figure business that she does not advertise or talk about ever.

Ever. It's amazing, you guys, having somebody that first of all knows you and your unique style and, you know, this is our power partnership is, you know, I'm consulting with her all the time on the people that she's working with and how to, you know, empower them best. And she knows what she's doing. You guys go find her right now. Literally, I trust her with my entire life. My entire life. And I would never put you in the hands of somebody that I am not passionate about. That's why I don't do very many interviews. And I would be honored if you guys followed Rebecca. You used her for anything. Pr, marketing, this growth, growth. I mean, her mastermind is unmatched. Quite honestly, pretty freaking special.

And you got to see these women.

I, yeah, I went to Palm Springs with the whole group and dove deep with all of them. And there's Rebecca. Attract attracts the most quality women I've ever seen in my life. And you want to be part of her community. She has a free Facebook group, the Visibility Lounge, definitely. And she's dropping value constantly in there. But more than that, she creates the community and the very people that you need to surround yourself with in order to take your gift and, and really stay accountable out in the world and, and do what you do best. So I love you, my friend.

I love you. Well, I'll tell you, I was reading my blueprint the other day and something that popped out at me that I don't know, that I'd realized before is like my strength. And I would have never told you this two years ago because I didn't realize it is. My strength is experiences and community building. And the mastermind is, for me, the highest expression. And I have to just share out of the like. Right now we have a smaller group. We go 14 to 20 out of the 14 women, which we only started not even 60 days ago. 13 out of the 14 have already had national TV interviews.

Stop it right now.

No. And next month they'll all be bestselling authors.

That's incredible, girl.

Well, because we move fast because I bring the belief and the strategy and.

She brings the right people into facilitate the things that you aren't that aren't.

You'Re going to be there forever. You're not.

I'm not lazy until I die girlfriend. You guys go follow Rebecca on Instagram, go listen to her podcast. Go do everything that she does and trust I let me tell you she knows what the hell she's doing so dive in. I love you my friend. Love you. We'll talk to you guys soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode you can DM me on Instagram at traceeomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.