EP328: The Power of THREE. The Six Different Triads You Want to Know About to Accelerate Your Growth in the Framework of the Enneagram

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy and to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey.

Hey.

Welcome to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram your go to podcast for all things integration of the beautiful tool and information that is the Enneagram. Honestly, like I love the Enneagram. Obviously it's become my life's work and teaching and helping you integrate it in your life. And today's going to be next level Enneagram. Geeking out, right? Because for many of you guys this might be just your first introduction to all the complexities of the Enneagram. And if you're just starting out, just knowing your accurate type is the number one thing. So if you haven't done that and you really want to use this beautiful tool and all the beauty and power that can accelerate your transformation and growth, you can get your your assessment and customized blueprint at my website, Tracey O' Malley.com it is worth the frickin investment if you're going to use this tool. Seriously. But today I wanted to dive deep into some of the components of the Enneagram that maybe you aren't aware of. You know, honestly, understanding your core Enneagram type and some of the things like the wings, which I know if you listen, you've heard me talk about the wings as these really powerful superheroes. And then you might even know about, like, your lines, which are like your growth number, your stress number, your stretch and release number. And that might be the extent of what you know, and that's more than enough to get started. But if you're like me, and you're 11 years deep into this being something that you use to grow yourself, to transform, to help other people, whether it's personally or professionally, whether you're a mom or a dad or an aunt or an uncle or somebody who loves kids, or you're in partnerships, friendships, understanding the depths of this can really, really help you. I had to strongly exercise my knowledge the other day because I was triggered. I was triggered by something. And the eight in me wanted to protect at all costs, wanted to defend, wanted to flex a little bit, and I caught myself. And the things I'm going to share with you today about the power of the threes in the Enneagram, the triads. There's more than just one triad in the Enneagram. And today we're going to talk about four different ones other than the other two. So there's actually six, honestly. But we're going to talk about a few of them today, because I want you to know that you're more than just your Enneagram type. Honestly. This is not a label system. This is not. This is who I am. Deal with it. There's a lot more to it. And the more seasoned you get in building these muscles, the more that you'll be able to navigate things that trigger you. And I say this all the time, triggers aren't a bad thing. They're the greatest catalyst for growth. And when I was triggered the other day by somebody I really, really freaking care about, I was so proud of myself. A. That I recognized and how I navigated it was mind blowing to me in such a beautiful way. And my goal here on this podcast is to continue to show you how to integrate this in your life. But today is going to be a little information lesson. And I'm going to geek out at some point on all, you know what, probably soon on all these different triads within the Enneagram type. Once you know your core type, this will all help you move through that. Move through it a lot easier. All right, so there's Threes. There's power of threes within the Enneagram. The one that you might be most aware of are the centers of intelligence. That's one of the triads. One of the other triads are the subtypes or the instinctual responses. We also have something called the tri type. We have harmonic triads. We have Hornevian triads, and also object relation triads. So let's start with the first one, the centers of intelligence. This is probably, if you learn nothing else about the Enneagram, even your own type, honestly, this is what I used for five years. This was my goal for five years, over and over, before I ever talked about the Enneagram, before I shared it with anyone, before I started teaching it. My goal with every person I met was to try and figure out what center of intelligence they fall into. Right? And on the Enneagram, the diagram, three Enneagram types fall into each center of intelligence. We have our gut or instinctual or body center of intelligence. We have our head, our thinking center of intelligence. And we have our heart and feeling center of intelligence. That is where we kind of process our information and how we assert ourselves. The eight, nines and ones fall into the body and gut center. The two threes and fours fall into the heart center. And the five, six and sevens fall into the head center. The body center. They're motivated by a need for independence, autonomy and truth. The heart motivated by a need for significance, and the head motivated by a need for certainty. Now how that looks for all three types, really, really different. But that center of intelligence, the the triad of the centers of intelligence is probably the most important triad to learn first. And then we'll kind of back into that. The subtypes, the instinctual responses. This is where we have self preservation, one on one, and social subtypes. This is our instinctual response to life, right? And when things go great or not so great, how do we respond? Either self preservation type and these can interchange and stack a little bit differently. Where your core type doesn't change, these instincts can change. And often we want to see a healthy balance and harmony between the three of these. If you're a self preservation dominant type, you focus instinctively first on safety, security and comfort. If you're a one on one instinctual subtype, then you operate on intensity of experience and close interpersonal bonds as your first instinct. And if you're a social subtype, you operate from this place of belonging and where you fit into the world and the collective. All three are really, really important. That's why you can see where as you develop and grow, finding harmony in all three of those instincts will be really, really important. But usually one dominates one's its best friend that you can kind of lean into and one is more repressed. The subtypes are also probably the number one reason why many of you are mistyped on the Enneagram. All the assessments that are out there available to you, the free and the paid, don't take this into consideration. And you can see where your instinctual response to life. This is kind of where nature and nurture collide, right? This is like your environment, things that were taught, told and modeled for you, how this can change the expression of your core type. My assessment, the blueprint that is available to you on my website, takes all this into consideration. And when you do that, you find out your actual subtype, which can make your type make a hell of a lot more sense, especially if you're mistyped. Now, one of the other triads that we have that isn't talked about a lot are called the Tri type. And this is something that I do when I work with you in a power session or if I do a group workshop for you. I just recently did this in a retreat that I did. And the tri type is where you dominate in each of the centers of intelligence. Because just like our instincts, we need all of them. We do need all of our centers of intelligence. We do need to use our heart and our feeling center. We do need to use our gut and our instinctual center. And we do need to use our head and our thinking center. Your tri type, that triad is where you dominate in each of those centers. Your core type does not change your still motivated and fear based on your core enneagram type. But as you become more emotionally intelligent and a stronger critical thinker, your tri type can actually really help you move through the whole process of head, heart and gut and instinct. Really, really cool. This is usually when I do one on one work or team work. If your enneagram type isn't maybe making a lot of sense, if you know that you are accurately typed. The Tri type, so revealing and gives you so much more insight and intel on why maybe you operate the way that you do. Now we have three more triads that most of you have no idea about. First of all, we have the harmonic triad. And this is in three. Three enneagram types fall into each of these triads. The harmonic triads are how each type of handles conflict and how they handle situations where their needs are not met. This is like their Coping mechanism. So we have the reactive triad, we have the positivity triad, and we have the competency triad. Okay? Now the harmonic triad is also called our conflict style, right? So in the reactive triad, we have enneagram 4, 6, and 8. Emotionally reactive under stress, hard time containing their feelings. And if, you know, notice there's one of each type in each center. So the fours are in the feeling center, the sixes are in the thinking center, and the eight are in the instinctual center. The positive center in the harmonic Triad includes the 2, the 7, and 9. These three types, when they don't get what they want, see the positive, they find ways to bring light and avoid negativity like everything's gonna be okay. And if you know all three of those types, it makes a lot of sen. Again, there's one of each type in each center of intelligence. The twos are in the heart center, the sevens are in the thinking center, and the nines are in the instinctual center. And then we have the competency center in the harmonic triad. And these three types focus on objectivity and rationality, doing things correctly and competently and more neutral. And the three types that fall into this harmonic triad are the 1, the 3, and the 5. Again, the 1 is in the instinctual center, the 3 is in the heart center, and the 5 is in the thinking center. I'm going to do a podcast on each of these triads because I think that it can really help you make more sense of this. Now, one of the other triads is called the Hornavian groups. And the Hornavian groups are also your social style. And this is how each type moves in relation to other people stances and how they get what they need and how you get what you want. We have three different groupings. We have the assertive group, we have the compliant or super ego group, and we have the withdrawn group. Now, if you're in the assertive group, you are a 3, 7, or 8. I see. This is what I see a lot are, you know, in relation to your enneagram type. I always can see kind of how each of these types kind of really know how to get what they need. Sometimes it's really elegant and sometimes it's really manipulative, right? And knowing this, like the other day when I was triggered, I could feel myself going into this, right? And it wasn't looking. It was starting to not look real pretty, and I shifted it. You know, it doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. It's always about the come from, right? And that's what I have said about each Enneagram type. Superpowers. They're your superpowers as long as you're coming from love, compassion, compassion, empathy, service and grace. These same things can be our kryptonite when we're coming from fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt or ego. Right? Same thing with these groupings and how we get what we want or need. We can be manipulative or we can be like loving. Right? So my assertive types are the 3, 7, 8. These three types, how they get what they want or what they need, as they move against others, they focus on what the self needs or wants. It's. They're very demanding of their needs and how they go about it. Looks very different, obviously. Like three is more goal oriented, productive, action based. Sevens are about having fun, entitled to take what they want when they make up their mind. Eights are power and strength and sometimes even flexing that untethered anger. Now the compliant grouping in the social styles, the compliant ones are the ones, the twos and the sixes. They move with others and they focus on what others need or want. And these three types tend to earn their needs, right? So the 1, 2 and 6 and how that looks very different for all three. The 1 is more about social standards and justice and doing what's right. The twos focus on the needs of others rather than themselves. Six is focus on building secure environment for all, being human, creating tribes. It's why they're really collaborative. And finally, in the social groupings or the Hornavian groups are the withdrawn types. And how they get what they want or what they need is by moving away from others and focusing either on self or others without moving towards them. And they withdraw to get their needs met. And how this looks for all three of these types, again, really different fours, they kind of go inward and feel maybe something's missing in them. Fives detach from people to preserve themselves. And nines kind of introspect and withdraw from self in order to kind of get what they need by finding harmony. So those are the social groupings. Now this last one is very, very unique. I'm guessing probably everybody that's listening right now has never heard of it. I am very new to it and I'm diving deeper into this. And this is called the object relations grouping or triad. Object relations are how we affect or are affected by something or someone else, our ego in relation to other people or things, as a manifestation of a particular parental wound. This is where our upbringing can really make this look very, very different. And this is probably also why many of you are mistyped. But our instincts can also help. And the subtypes in my assessment, can help you understand this. Now, there are three different kind of categories within the object relations triad. We have attachment, we have frustration, and we have rejection. The three types in the attachment grouping are the 3, 6, and 9. And if you're going to see patterns in all of these triads, where there's one from each center of intelligence that make up these groupings, and the object relations triad is no different. So the attachment grouping and object relations, this is the struggle between individualation and adaptation. Right? So we have the three, the six, and the nine. And threes find attachment by being or doing whatever it takes takes to gain unconditional love. Sixes find attachment by creating maps or support systems, sometimes to the detriment of their own inner knowing and intuition and decisiveness. Nines the ego and body itself over adapting by being in unity. Right? And this is how they find themselves in relation to other people, places and things. The second part in this triad of the object relations triad is frustration, the frustration groupings. And this is a strategy based on frustration at not getting their needs met. And in this grouping, we have the ones, the fours, and the sevens. Again, the one is in the instinctual center, fours in the feeling center, sevens in the thinking center. This is a strategy based on that frustration for not getting their needs met. Like I said, ones become the ultimate guiding force to compensate for the lack. And from that protection, fours their frustration that anything external is shallow. And this is where they kind of focus inward. And they do this as a replacement for nurturing and protective objects. Sevens go on this unbounding autonomic search for anything exciting, but sometimes create shallow experiences. And now in the rejection grouping of this triad, the object relations Triad, lie the 2, the 5, and the 8. And these three types find this need to distract from the pain of not getting what they needed. Right. These are the rejection groupings. Twos amplify their need for relationship and connection due to having rejected the need for guidance and protection. Fives reject both the need for nurture and protection, thereby rejecting the human condition altogether. And eights amplifying their toughness and become invulnerable due to having rejecting their needs for nurture and unconditional love. We're going to dive deeper into all of these different triads. Like I said, the object relations one, I would guarantee nobody listening has heard of that. I'm going to dive deeper into it. Because I'm fascinated by all the components and deeper understanding of ourselves. The more self aware we can be with compassion and empathy and grace, the more we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations and positions or we get triggered or we have hard parts of life really come and kick us in the teeth. Understanding where we go under certain situations will allow you to navigate it without as much damage to yourself and others, without sabotaging, without playing small all the things that make us unique and whole to ourselves. So today was a little educational lesson on the power of threes, all the many different triads within the Enneagram type. And I'm as always, I'm here to help you integrate this in your life. Number one starting point is understanding your core Enneagram type. If you plan to use this beautiful, effective, powerful, life changing tool in your life, like I said, you can go to my website, Tracey omalley.com probably the best investment you'll make in understanding yourself and you'll have the right information, accurate information, and you'll get your own customized blueprint and then you can go from there. Whether it's on this solo discovery journey, which there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, or if you want to accelerate that, you can dive deep one on one with me for 90 minutes, or if you know you want me in your back pocket, guiding you through all these different things in a beautiful everyday kind of container, you can go and fill out a VIP private one on one application. I don't take everyone, regardless of your ability to make the investment. I really want people that are ready to go to the master's level of their growth. All those things you can find@tracey O' Malley.com the work with me section. As always, I'm wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. I'm so grateful that you show up here week after week to gain more information and integration so that you can step into the ultimate leader that you've always been designed to be. We'll see you in a few days.

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You into the next level of your life, Sam.