EP330: The Mentorship You Need RIGHT NOW to Actually Move the Needle in Your Life

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you.

You need to know all about it.

So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news. You are in the right place.

Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just.

Being some fun thing you heard about.

The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective, and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career, and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I am your host, Tracy o', Malley, and I am fresh off a week of getting poured into in my own mentorship. Right. And today I really wanted to talk about that. You know, I come from the era, you know, I. I'm gonna date myself, y'. All. But I grew up in the era of Michael Jordan, the Chicago Bulls. Even if you're not a sports fan, you will understand this, because everybody knows who Michael Jordan is. Greatest basketball player of all time. Yes, I know my Kobe Fans and my LeBron fans might disagree, but Michael Jordan is the OG GOAT for sure. And he, along with Kobe and LeBron. Well, I don't know much about LeBron, to be honest with you, but the greatest of the greats always have mentorship. And coaches. They do. And I can see in seasons in my life when I haven't had the right mentorship that I'm not doing so great, like. And and that's the thing we can justify when we're not, or let's say we've finished a season with a mentor or a coach. And. And I've been through several in my life, and there's nothing wrong with that, right. I think each season that you're in, each layer that you're kind of going through requires different kind of mentorship and coaching. And why I love what I do is that I'm usually the mentor when you've tried maybe some of the other fluffy things, right? Or you've maybe played a little smaller or the safer route. And I get that, like, sometimes you gotta kind of ease your way into the pool and toe dip a little bit, but that's not gonna get you where you want to go. And if you are somebody like me that once you make your mind up, you're ready to go, then you're going to need the big guns to come out. And some of these fluffier mentors that are out there who are great at what they do for entry level stuff won't get you to the next level. Kind of crazy stuff. And why I love using the tool of the Enneagram is it allows me to help you accelerate that transformation. First and foremost, I know who you are. And so I know how to speak to you in a way that you can receive it. I know how to speak to you in a way that even when I have to deliver hard truths to you, it's with a compassion component that you can receive based on the person that you are. Also, it gives you framework and understanding of who you are without the emotional kind of stronghold, you know, the shame, the guilt, the fear, the anxiety, the anger, all of that stuff. It's there, but it doesn't have this stronghold on you. And it's why I really love using the tool of the Enneagram in my mentorship. It's only a component of it, but it really allows you to accelerate your understanding of yourself in a way that actually serves you. Because here's the thing, with a lot of the mentorship that you have and have maybe gone to, there's a lot of shame. A lot of it's shame based, quite honestly. And. And for, you know, coaches and mentors out there that do things one way, and it's like this cookie cutter. I'm sorry, but humans are not cookie cutter. They aren't using the Enneagram. I know I have at least nine different cookie cutters and there's next level versions of those nine cookie cutters, right? Like it isn't just nine types. There's deeper understanding of that. But when you have mentors in your life that only do things one way and they've gotten results their way, and then they try to coach you their way, but you're a different kind of person, that creates, like, shame or anger or anxiety or all of the above. Or all of the above. You might have some mentor ptsd. There's a lot of that that goes on. There's a lot of irresponsible coaches and mentors out there. Some of them honestly come by it innocently, doesn't mean that it's okay, and then others are very manipulative in it. And so you might be in this coaching ptsd, which is why you're resistant, and you may not even trust yourself. Like, you have some PTSD and resentment, maybe towards a coach and maybe towards yourself, and maybe a little bit of both, which, you know you are responsible for who you choose, right? And so I want to help you develop this strong discernment and intuition honoring process. And the thing with my mentorship is, you know, most of us, if we're living in an ideal world, we are able to honor our intuition and our nervous system, right? Those are the ultimate compasses, right? The intuition comes from a divine source, and the body is the ultimate compass that it never tells a lie and it always keeps the score. But so many of you have experienced situations, parents, schools, cultures, traumas, that have you bypassing your intuition and your nervous system, and so you default into your personality, right? And my mentorship allows you to, yes, harness and leverage your personality and also understand it in a way that you know how you get tripped up. But the main point in the mentorship that I work with you, even using the tool of the enneagram. The tool of the enneagram, when integrated properly, can allow you to operate more in that intuition and more into honoring the nervous system. It's one thing to have a nervous system and try to get calm and peaceful, but that's just a band aid. Like, actually having a regulated nervous system takes skill. It's a muscle you have to build, and you have to learn how to do that. And it only can come in deep understanding and awareness first, acknowledging and connecting the dots, and then taking the correct, compassionate, effective action to move forward. And a lot of mentoring out there is just, like, have awareness. There's a problem. This is the action you take, and they're. They're missing the whole middle, which is the most important part for sustainability or fulfillment for nervous system. Regulation for honoring of your intuition. Anybody can have an awareness and anybody can take action. And we all know that that's just a band aid being slapped on. But if you are somebody that has had some PTSD around mentorship and you're resistant. I am somebody who is resistant to it. I really am. And the reason for me is because it requires a level of surrender and vulnerability. And as an enneagram8, I don't like to do that. I don't. But it's also why I remain stuck in certain areas of my life sometimes. And so like even the greats like Michael Jordan, Oprah, the greats out there that are elite at what they do, the goats, they have mentors to hold them accountable. I don't love to be held accountable. It really frustrates me. It makes me feel controlled. And it's also what I need, right? Just because I don't like it doesn't mean it's not what I need. Right? Also, with mentorship and the right coach, you get, you get somebody who sees through your bullshit. And let's. Let's be real. I'm elite at what I do. I know this, and I do know this. And even I can justify my own bullshit. I really, really can. So having the right mentors, people, coaches in my life, allow me to sidestep my own justification. Also, we tend to build cases, judge sometimes other people, other coaches, why things didn't work was because a shitty coach. Well, yes. And you have a responsibility in that you picked them, you believed the. The they were selling you, right? You, you picked the easy way because they promised the easy way. I will never promise you the easy way. Not ever one bit. Because if there was an easy way, this girl would have found it and I'd be selling it like it was going out of style. It's just not real, right? And so having the right mentor that can allow you to vent, but also not judge yourself, not judge the circumstances or make excuses, right? That's really hard to do when you're going solo. And especially if all your fears are activated. Especially if your fears are activated. And depending on your enneagram type, that's going to look different for each of you. But when your fears are activated, you will go into hyper vigilance of justifying what you're doing or not doing or judging yourself or other people or all of the above. And so having a compassionate, direct, strong, protective and safe place in a mentor is something that will really allow you to step into whatever it is that you are craving for Your life, whether it's in your relationships, it's as a mom or a dad, as a business owner or leader, any kind of area in your life. You know, if you feel like you're missing the mark somewhere because for a lot of you guys, you have the receipts to show in one area of your life that like, you can justify this and it, and you've, it's proven it works. But the reason why you're listening to me right now is you've gotten by on 65 or 70%, and you're 65 to 70% is better than a lot of people's. It really is. And that's how you stay stuck. It's also how you justify not hiring somebody like me that can actually help you work at a hundred percent, make a bigger impact, feel fulfilled, feel happy, feel like you're in integrity, not full of shit, and also really goddamn happy. You can have it all, and you do deserve it all. You can have a thriving, successful, empowering business that makes you happy. You can be a beautiful, nurturing, loving, compassionate, honoring kind of parent. You can be a beautiful, feminine energy wife or partner, or strong, masculine, safe, sensitive man. You can do all of it. You can. But what happens so often is we will usually overcompensate in the area of our life where we feel are our strongest or our most secure. And when we overcompensate or over develop that area, the things that really, really matter to us kind of take a shit. And it feels like we're spinning all these plates and they're just going to keep crashing. And so I really wanted to talk about mentorship today and specifically the kind of mentorship that I can bring to your life. Now, obviously, spending three months with me is the holy grail. We take the holistic approach in your life. I don't just give you business strategy, although I'm really great at that. I'm. I'm very, very skilled in all kinds of business, not just the online space. I've been in business and as an entrepreneur for 23 years. I also am a hell of a parent who has raised two kids up into their mid-20s and they're doing pretty damn well. And I've done 15 of those years as a single parent and sole provider, emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. So I have a lot of wisdom when it comes to parenting and what works and what doesn't. Because quite honestly, I didn't always get it right for sure. I also have 11 years of very strong active recovery work, not just in the form of sobriety from alcohol, but active, disordered eating, codependency, anger management, anything but drugs is basically what I've done. But all of it's like, all of that's kind of a drug, if I'm being honest. Yeah. And I have really solid mentors and support in my life. Some of them I pay, some of them are soul sisters and brothers. And that alongside of my own unconditional commitment and consistency in doing my work so that I can pave the way for you and help you blaze your own trail, is why I am a great mentor for you. It's not easy. I'm not the fluffy coach. I'm not. I will love you and I will support you and I will make you feel seen, heard, understood and valued. But I will also expose the parts to yourself that you need to acknowledge in order to heal so that you can step into that leader in your life. So not easy, but worth it. Kind of time with me is like decades of therapy accelerated. We do have to address some things of the past because we have to be able to connect the dots. It's not to stay stuck, it's not to, you know, beat ourselves up or put the shame stick on anything, but it's to really understand how we got here. How we got here and the ways that I take you through that. First and foremost, obviously, understanding your enneagram type is the first part because it allows you to have some common framework. And, and like I said, it takes the emotional charge out of kind of how you operate with yourself. And so having the right information obviously is really, really important. And the first step in doing that, if you know, like you're not ready to sit down with me, whether it's 90 minutes or with a team situation or a group or a partner or spous, work one on one with me for a few months, get your blueprint, get that start kind of diving in on the self discovery process. Because in my 23 years of deep, deep, deep inner work, 12 of it, I kind of did solo. I don't recommend it. I really, really don't. Because like I said, the justification, the judgment, the building the cases, the all the things, and I did a lot of that in the first 12 years. So this is the benefit of having somebody my age with the experience that I have in all areas of my life is I know what you're doing, I do. But if you know you're not ready, that's okay too. When the student's ready, the teacher appears and I'm here for a reason and you're listening to me right now for a reason. But if you want to kind of start dabbling, go get your Enneagram blueprint right now. My online assessment is accurate well over 95% of the time. I've tested it thousands and thousands of times and done thousands of interviews and I know this to be true. It's why I created the blueprints for you. You'll get your own customized blueprint with the accurate information and then you can go on your self discovery process. You absolutely can. Now the the next best. So that's good. Better is spending 90 minutes with me. In that 90 minutes with me. If you know that you're gonna do that, you get your blueprint in that you absolutely do. And not only will you get your blueprint, you will have a guide showing you and telling you and helping you make sense of what that has meant in your life and what it will means in your life and how to integrate this information so that you can move forward in the way that feels really, really aligned, good, fulfilling, honorable in integrity and exciting for you. So that's the 90 minute power session with me and then the holy grail. There's two of them. If you're a leader of a team or you're part of a team, bring me into your team or organization. It's amazing. It's amazing because we dive deep, deep into not just you, but the dynamics of the people that you love, whether it's a family team or your home team or your business team. A lot of really cool things you learn about yourself in a team or family dynamic going through this or a couple or partner session or a best friend session. I've done best friend sessions before. Especially if you feel like, you know, you're hitting this point in the relationship where maybe this part of the story is over and you want to know for sure. Partner sessions are great, but the holy grail is, and the ultimate leadership flex is having a mentor like me that allows you to lead yourself in a way that's honorable in integrity, compassionate, empathetic, but also discerning and direct. And that is the VIP private one on one coaching. I have opened up a few spots. Imagine having me on speed dial every day for all areas of your life. As a parent, as a woman, as a man, as a leader, as an entrepreneur, as a spouse, possibly as whatever we we tackle the holistic you and allow yourself to lead yourself without feeling like you're wearing a hundred different hats and getting energetically bankrupt by ripping them all off and putting a New one on. You should not have to alter who you are just because you're in a boardroom versus the playroom versus the bedroom versus, you know, the gym, whatever. Like, I am the same person, whether I'm sitting around the table with my kids, I'm frolicking around, being, you know, the woman that I am in my romantic relationship. When I'm leading CEOs of top organizations like Google and John Deere, I'm the same person. And it's why I have the energy that I do. And it's possible. It's possible for you. So if that is something that you're craving in your life, having a mentor like me that can take the holistic approach with you, with compassion, but with strength and doesn't get rattled when you're pissed off at me. I like when you get pissed off because it means we're making some headway. You can go apply for my VIP private coaching. It is by application only. I don't take everyone and I. Just because you can make the investment doesn't mean I'm taking you. Because I am not here to just say that you did some work and then you don't do it right. I've had to say to people like, you're not ready for me yet. You're. This is the master's program. And if you're ready for master's level mentorship, I am the person for you. You can ask people who have worked with me, you can ask people who refer me. I am the holy grail when it comes to that. I'm no guru. I'm no guru, but I am somebody who walks their talk and everything that they do. And this is the benefit of the life experience that I have in all areas. Business, parenting, professional, personal, all of it. So I really wanted to talk about mentorship as I'm coming fresh off my very uncomfortable week of mentorship in a mastermind. Very, very uncomfortable because it requires everything I just said to you. It required me to be vulnerable, to be transparent, to surrender, to be open, to be honest, to be willing to call myself out with love, to also ask for help and raise my hand and say, I feel very weak in this area. Can you help me? Which is not something that comes natural for me. And I will never ask you to do something that I am not doing or haven't done. And I just felt like we're ending quarter one of 2023 right now. And I know a lot of you made these big grandioso vision boards and declarations and picked big Strong words to start the year. And life happens and life maybe came and kicked you in the teeth a little bit and you're feeling defeated or insecure or weak or like you don't know what the fuck you're doing. That is the time to not hide. Right? I know that's my natural tendency, but I don't want it to be yours. I want to help you so that you can build up this strong box of tools. I will help you and guide you through using them so eventually you don't need me and you know how to access them yourself. I don't create this kind of dynamic where you feel like you need me the rest of your life. That's not the goal there. But giving you the confidence, support and understanding of yourself and the tools that are right there waiting for you. You just have know how and when to use them. Yeah, I just felt like this needed to be said today. I know I needed the reminder. This is the time of year where I start to get squirrely in the head and build cases against myself in the world. So usually we teach what we need to remember. So here I am. I'm getting poured into by my mentors and if you, even if you have one right now, but it's not cutting, might be time to bite the bullet. Even if like you've spent money or you haven't been committed to it. It's time. It's time. We only get one shot at this life. And I know that you have big dreams and big desires and you deserve every single one of them. But with great reward comes great responsibility and much is required. So it's time to level up. So you might as well do it with the right kind of person that can actually help you make shit happen. I love you. As always, I am super grateful for your time, for your energy, for your trust and all the things that you pour into me. I don't take any of that lightly. I'm always wishing you so much love and transformation in your life and as always, I am here with you for you, cheering you on. We'll see you in a few days.

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