EP338: The BEST Way to Learn About the Enneagram

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy and to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And today, you know, I wanted to talk about one of the number one questions I get asked all the time. And especially if you are somebody who loves the Enneagram, has read a lot of books, listened to a lot of Enneagram podcasts, or even taken a certification Enneagram certification course. And I get asked all the time, how do I learn it like you teach it? How do I really understand it? The way that you understand it and articulate it. And I'm not surprised by that question, quite honestly. This is the beauty of not just learning it, studying it and teaching it, but also integrating it in all areas of my life for over a decade now. And it's one of those things that I talk about all the time, like information doesn't equal transformation and intelligence. Like IQ and EQ are two totally different things. And I've done podcast episodes on the difference between IQ and eq, but the number one way that I have found to learn anything, quite honestly, is in community. In community. Because this opens up our mind to other perspectives, right? And even if we don't agree with a certain perspective or it triggers us another perspective. There is a lot to be said for learning within a community. And you know, I've been to probably hundreds and hundreds of events. I've gotten in many a room and with some of the best coaches in the world, including like Tony Robbins, Tim's story and elite coaches and master performance people. And I love to consider myself in those categories at this point. And the best way that I've ever learned from any of those people, Tony Robbins, Tim's story, anybody, is by watching them lead somebody else through a question, a group coaching, hot seat coaching kind of situation. And why I love working with teams and organizations and families and coup so much is you can see the light bulbs go off when you hear somebody else ask a question and then somebody like me kind of explaining it, digging a little deeper with that person. Anytime that I have been sitting in a room and they offer hot seat coaching, I usually do raise my hand. But I've quit doing that now because I actually learn more hearing somebody else get coached, ask questions, the coach facilitate it. And that's why when I'm doing like a team, I really encourage everyone to listen very, very clearly. Especially, you know, when we're dealing with the Enneagram. A lot of times we just focus on what's in it for me and my type. And that's why if you haven't listened to the episodes that I've done on Enneagram types that aren't yours, I highly, highly recommend that you do because learning about, first of all yourself is important, obviously, and how others might receive you. But where you really understand the people in your life is by hearing from and about other types that are different from you. There's been this dilemma in my space. For me specifically, as you know, the Enneagram expert and facilitator and speaker and podcast host is how do I create a setting where you can learn from other people in real time? If you're not part of a team that brings me in or a company that brings me in, and I've been really wrestling with this because I'm not somebody who loves long term group coaching. I think it's effective in certain things. But you, probably listening right now, have bought a group program. I have done a group program other than a mastermind, where you're deeply immersed and it's a high dollar kind of amount. Most people after the first two or three kind of fall off. And as somebody who really loves the energy exchange, I know I'm not as good when that happens. And it's frustrating. And I also totally get it because I have been the person that falls off. And so I've been working really hard to come up with something for those of you that want to learn in a group setting, but maybe don't have a big group or you're not a team facilitator, but you see the benefit in that. And also building community and seeing people in the same room as you. That's why getting in the rooms, you hear that all the time. Get in the room, get in the room. And there's nothing like a live experience. But the next best thing is bringing you live together in a room with people who are raising their hand and saying, not only do I want to understand my Enneagram type, I want to understand other people. Where I really accelerated my integration process. My understanding, my ability to articulate and teach you about the Enneagram, the way that I do it is by doing thousands of this within, within different teams and groups and seeing the different dynamics and the different questions that come up and knowing, like, even if you're hearing about another type, like the questions that might come up for you, this is such a powerful, powerful way to learn more about the Enneagram. But unfortunately, when we see Enneagram, we dive into just ours. And that's amazing because in order to lead other people more effectively, you have to be able to lead yourself pretty effectively. And I think understanding yourself at a deeper level is really, really, really important. But next level Enneagram integration and understanding is understanding the other types. And there's no better way than being able to hear from other types and especially types that maybe you don't and aren't emotionally invested in. Right? Because I think especially, and I love partner sessions and couple sessions, but sometimes because we're emotionally invested, or maybe there's some conflict going on, or you don't want to rock the boat too much, or there's a question you want to ask but are afraid of how that other person might receive it, or maybe they feel like you're judging them. Right? So creating this group setting without the emotional attachment now it's really cool to come into these with friends and all of that. Just like going to an event with friends is really fun. But I think that understanding the other types through people that you're not emotionally connected to brings a next level understanding Integration and all those things as well. So I'm working on something and I'm curious how you would feel about it. I've got two or three, like two different options that I'm really strongly working on. Obviously the more logistical, accessible way is online once a month. I want to do group workshop style Enneagram coaching where not only do you learn about your type, other types, but you also see the interaction in some hot seat coaching and real life, real situation. Q and A. Obviously investment wise, it's more affordable, it's recordable, all the things. And then the other thing I'm really toying with and if you are listening right now and this is something that excites you, I want to do like a live roundtable kind of retreat version of this. I do do retreats currently I've been doing that with a partner and friend who I love so, so much. She's got an incredible community, Keisha, if you don't know her, Keisha Getmerie. She's amazing with the empower her community. We have been doing retreat style Enneagram workshops. I've done retreats in the past, over the last decade, but bringing it more of a roundtable style. Not only so that you can learn about the Enneagram, the other types, people in your life that maybe are like those people, but also finding new friends that really speak this language. The Enneagram is a very, very cool language that once you know it, like when you start to find other people that love the Enneagram, it creates this really fun banter back and forth and a deeper understanding. You know, I've been in part of a mastermind now for gosh, seven years. And of course like I'm the Enneagram girl, so I get lots of questions, especially their first weekend together. And you know, when I'm explaining other types to somebody who's learning about their type and I'm like, well, this is what a three looks like. This person in our group is a three. And you notice when like where this is really hard for them. And bringing real life situations to a group setting is how you learn best with the Enneagram. Now if you're like me, I love groups and I also don't because it's very vulnerable. Right. And you know, my fellow Enneagram, eight people who don't like to be put in a vulnerable situation or you can maybe even find yourself being a little judgmental from time to time. Whenever I feel those things inside of me where I feel like I'm going into my five Cave as an eight or eight, even find myself feeling a little judgy. Right. I always recognize that that's a beautiful opportunity for growth. And I always find that when I am put into a group setting. And a lot of times that's because my own fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, maybe guilt and ego come to play. And so this gives you an extra layer of growth if you raise your hand and say, yeah, I'm here for it. So I'm very excited to do more group things. I'm going to be bringing more groups, even on the podc. I've talked about doing kind of a reverse podcast where you get to ask me questions. I would love to do that also in a group setting because I think that hearing the dynamics of different types, whether it's, you know, three best friends or, you know, whatever that looks like, three business associates, three siblings. I do a lot of sibling coaching as well. It's very, very cool. But the fastest way to start really understanding the Enneagram in real life situations is in a group setting. So be on the lookout for that. If this is something that you're interested in, please, please, please shoot me a message. Yeah, it's awesome. I'm very excited, as you can tell, because this is where I see the most transformation happen, not just understanding ourself. Like, like I said, that brings a huge element of understanding to the table because you can imagine, you know, understanding where you go when you're growing, when you're stressed out, how to use your properly. But what's cool about the group setting as well is, you know, you have four other Enneagram types connected to your core type. This is what I really talk about a lot in the group setting and in retreat settings and things like that is listening about just your type. You're missing the whole point of the framework of the Enneagram because there's those four other types connected to you. And when you hear about the other types, like your wings and your growth number and your stress number, you can see how this plays out and how it looks like in a real life version of that. And it's so cool because in my case, for example, one of my wings is a seven and I'm raising a seven and my closest friends are seven. So I get real life examples and real life seeing where they are in their strengths and also maybe not their strengths. Right. Because we can use our wings in a not so healthy way too. I also, my growth number is a two as an eight and I'm raising an Enneagram too. So I can also see why I love learning from him. Right? And I also see the dark side of that as well and so I have better understanding of that. So this is also why group setting is really, really powerful because you learn about the four types through a real person in real situations and how this applies to you and your life. Group is the way to go. We talk about getting in the rooms all the time. I'm very excited. I am literally getting on a plane in an hour to go to Columbus to bring the Enneagram to a beautiful group in Ohio and then coming back and co hosting that retreat in Denver. We've got another one in Denver next month. Not sure if we're going to continue to do those together, but if not, I will be bringing group retreat style roundtable Enneagram situations for you to dive in deep, build community, learn more about yourself and other people along the way and also be on the lookout. Starting in June, July and August, I'm gonna be having group workshops online so that you can learn not just about yourself but the other people and have a very safe honoring place to ask all your Enneagram real life situations and how to integrate this in your life. As always, I'm super grateful for the time that you take to listen here. I know you have many choices in podcast land and even a lot of choices in Enneagram land, but I hope that you continue to check in here as we bring you the real integration and how to actually use this in your life. I'll be bringing more real life group situations for you to hear from. So if you can't get on a workshop or you can't get to a roundtable in person retreat, you'll have opportunities to learn about the Enneagram in a group setting so that you can really transform your life using this beautiful, beautiful, powerful tool. If you are not following me currently on Instagram, go find me there at tracyomalley. That is where I share a lot of the day in and day out of Enneagram teachings through my work with thousands of people all over the globe. But I would love to hear what you would like more of what you want to learn about. Pretty soon I'm going to be putting out questionnaires where you can maybe even be a podcast guest where you get to ask me live on air all your Enneagram questions in real time. I'm looking forward to more of that coming soon to you. And in the meantime, thanks for listening in and I'm wishing you so much love and transformation and I'll see you in just a few days.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm so excited to lead.

You into the next level of your life, Sam.