EP346: Mistyped!!! The Most Common Enneagram Mistypes and What To Do About It If You Are Mistyped

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it? Great news. You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And today is a really important episode. And I've talked about this a lot in podcasts. I bring it up almost every single time. Because this is the one part of the Enneagram that that trips people up. And because you know, this is a powerful, beautiful tool. And many of you are all in with the Enneagram. You've heard about it, you've experienced the benefit of it in understanding it. But if you are somebody that is new or somebody talked about the Enneagram and you're intrigued by it, or you've heard about it and you're like, I want to know more. The one part about the Enneagram that is complex and frustrating is the part about being mistyped. And it happens more often than it doesn't. And it is the most important part on this journey if you are using this tool to its most brilliant ways. Now, I've said this before. I Teach the Enneagram very differently than you'll ever hear it. And I'm not saying that I'm better than anybody else, because I'm not. But I am the master of integration of this tool. And having the right information is really, really important. And you know, you can take your time with and go on a discovery journey and all the things and that's totally fine. But I am definitely speaking to those of you that want to use this tool most effectively right here, right now, whether it's personally or professionally. And so being typed properly is important. There are schools of thoughts that we should never type anybody. But I've been doing this a long freaking time and I, I have done thousands and thousands and thousands of interviews and have really understood the power in helping someone do this and understand this and use this tool most effectively. Now, I am going to be the first to say it is not your job to go around typing people or telling them what you think they might be. I know we do it because especially if you've had the Enneagram Kool Aid, you want everyone to feel the beautiful power of this gift. But leave it to the professional professionals for that process. And you know, if you are diving into the Enneagram journey, if you've taken one of those online quizzes, whether it's free or paid, they're inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time, just so you know. And so like today I want to talk about mistyping and how common it is and you know, understandably why it is. Because although it's, you know, a personality assessment, it is so complex and it does kind of take into play what you've experienced in your life, plus your natural born wiring. And obviously depending on what you've experienced in life, that can change how you express yourself. And a lot of times we'll express ourselves to protect our core fear and our core motive, which leads to mistyping. But if you are somebody that wants to use this tool most effectively, getting typed properly, like I said, is the most important thing. There are two ways you can do it. You can go to my website, traceyomally.com, get your own customized blueprint. My assessment is over 95% accurate. I've only had three in my whole time using it that were questionable. So know that and then you can take that information and run with it. Number two is you can either do a individual or partner session and we will get you your assessment and I will guide you through what it all means. Right? Because it's one thing to get all this information, but then what do we do with it? Or what does that mean? In my current life and my current situation, that is where a 90 minute either one on one or partner session will really come into play. It's like, I give you this blueprint and then here's what we do with it. But I want to talk about many mistypings because if you have taken an online test and you might be believing you're one type, but maybe it's not landing completely, or it's like, great, now why is what I'm learning about this type, I'm not able to integrate it. And a lot of times that means you're mistyped. And here are some of the reasons why it's easy to misidentify yourself or other people. And here are some of the reasons why. Obviously, it's complex and human nature is even more complex. We are varied in our experiences and we're ever changing. We're always evolving and growing. And especially if you're listening to this podcast, you are somebody that is saying, I want to be the best version of myself. So you are always growing. It can also be difficult, obviously, to have confidence in the accuracy of this AI. AI is great, right? But especially now, there's so much talk about it taking over. We are complex humans and although AI is great, it can't take certain things into consideration. So it's why also having a professional that does this day in and day out help you in the typing process will be really, really, really important. Also, it's difficult to identify others since we must kind of assume that their type is the behaviors that they're showing us. Determining somebody's personality type on the enneagram, if you're just going off the behaviors and not what the motive or kind of the fear they're protecting that's behind it, you're missing the whole mark and you're actually doing them a disservice by assuming what they are. But a lot of times, especially if you've been through a lot, there's a lot of layers covering and protecting those fears. So really kind of not doing that with other people will be really important. The reason why my assessment's so great is it kind of hits you at all these different angles. So many people that have taken my assessment is like, they ask that question like six different ways and there's a reason behind it, right? We want to kind of come at you from all the different directions and all the different ways and then kind of going from there. There are actually 486 variations of the enneagram types. I know you thought there were only nine types and there are, but there are different levels of health. There are tri types. There are all these different things that kind of change up. It's why you can have two sevens right next to each other and they can look very different. Also, like the instincts, the subtypes can change, you know, how an enneagram type presents themselves. So just, you know, assuming you know what you are or what somebody else is kind of leaves you kind of hanging. And this is the most important part is, you know, enneagram types can be easily confused when they are thought of as just these narrow kind of entities. And this is why, like when I do workshops, which I'm going to be bringing group workshops to you for the individual, not just group workshops for people that bring me in for their teams, organizations or families. But like, you're way more than just your type, right? There's framework attached to it. There's tri types, there's subtypes, there's instincts, there's all these things. And so sometimes when we go into this enneagram kind of culture with tunnel vision on, you're doing the whole beautiful tool a disservice. Or if we just judge people off behaviors like, honestly, this, this changes the whole game. But I wanted to talk about some of the common mistypes that happen. And like, I want to say anybody can be mistyped as any, but these are some of the more common ones that happen. One of the most common ones are the 8, 6 mist type, right? I see it a lot. A lot of Sixes mistype as 8. Six, eight and threes are probably the most mistyped because their behaviors are so, like, obvious a lot of times that the behaviors kind of take over. What is kind of underlying this? And I would say high achievers, high achieving women specifically are more mistyped than anybody. But the 86 mistype is very, very common. The main reason for it is that sixes are so protective and assertive, kind of similar to the eight. But the motive behind that is so. And sixes often see themselves as their bold, brave counterpart, the eight. But the eight desires intensity, right? And everything an eight does do is to seek more of that feeling of challenge and intensity and also that motive. They're motivated by being strong, right? Where a six is motivated by having certainty. So that six desires loyalty. And everything they do is driven by the desire to have that security, that certainty and that loyalty. Most importantly, a 6 in stress can become controlling of others, whereas the 8 becomes more hyper independent. And so that is usually when I can tell. I mean, I can spot it a mile away because I do this all day long. But that is that it's the motive behind it. Sixes want certainty. Eights want control and power and strength. And when a Six is under stress, that can kind of look, you know, because they're, they're trying to hold on to it. Another common mistypes are Nines and fours. And you might think that that doesn't seem possible, right? Because the Nine is kind of like the peacemaker. The Four is the individualist. The main reason for this mistype though is that Nines are highly creative, kind of like the 4 stereotype. Both can appear very easygoing, friendly and occasionally competitive when they need to be. But the Nine desires harmony. Then everything that the Nine does is rooted in independence, autonomy and control. And how they achieve that is through harmony. As long as they feel a sense of inner peace and harmony in the world, they're good, right? Where the four desires individuality, authenticity and significance, right? And as long as they are self governing and feel understood, they are happy. Most importantly, the 9 feels an extreme lack of self knowing, whereas the 4 feels fully aware of who they are. But on the outside they can look very, very behaviorally, they can look very, very similar. Another mistype are the Fives and Nines. I see this one a lot, which again you wouldn't necessarily think, but they are both kind of come across. Introverted Nines often view themselves as the cerebral counterpart to the five, right? There are a lot of similarities between the two of them. Both see all sides of a situation, right? Whereas the 9 sees it from a different perspective than the 5. Both can be very sarcastic, a little passive aggressive. Both struggle with decisiveness from time to time and action. So what is the main difference? The Nine desires harmony. And as long as they feel that sense of inner peace and harmony with the world, they're happy. The Five desires knowledge and capability because they are motivated by certainty, right? As long as they have the resources and the information, they are happy. The nine can struggle with knowing who they are. They can feel like a chameleon sometimes where the five feels very aware of who they are and chooses to keep it kind of to themselves. Where they can look similar on the outside, right? The other potential kind of thing that comes into play is that Fives love facts, knowledge and research. And they want to know all the things. Where Nines are capable of research but would much rather wing it in the end, Enneagram, sevens and fours often Mistyped. This is one of the most popular mistypes. More sevens are mistyped as sevens than we like to think. And they're kind of similar to the threes and the eights where like they're very extroverted, naturally stereotypically. But a lot of entrepreneurs that are mistyped to sevens are actually fours. This and fours are probably the most under typed of all because there's no two that are alike. But a lot of the fours that kind of appear very social are actually. They think they're sevens but they're actually fours. Oftentimes fours appear to be more of the life of the party than sevens. I'm dating a four and there are times where like he can see and him and my daughter who is a seven get along very very well. And they, when they're, when a four is more extroverted, they look very seven. They have a drive to be important to the group and so this can have them taking center stage at times. Behaviors of these two are very, very similar. Is why it comes back to the core desire. Right? And this is where my, my guy and my, my daughter are very different though. While at times they want to have fun, the four's core desire is to feel like they have a place in the world. They're, they're driven by that internal significance to be understood to be unique, to matter, to leave a mark. Whereas an enneagram 7, their core desire is truly just to. I mean they're called the enthusiast to have the fun and feel positive. They're motivated by certainty that all options are available to them. So they might momentarily get caught up in the idea of greatness. But then they just want to have fun. Right? Sevens don't think about how they are expressing their image or their emotions, but fours do. Fours are super aware of their negative or heavy emotions and struggle with liberating themselves from them. And sometimes so much so that they'll swing to the other end of the pendulum and look very 7 like. Whereas the 7 struggles to feel and be aware of any negative emotion in the first place. A lot of times the four tends to have more childhood wounds associated with not fitting in, whereas the seven doesn't necessarily have it as much. Another common mistype are the 1 and 6. The 1 and 6 are very similar. Like both are very moral, controlling and protective people. The one is motivated by righteousness, autonomy, independence and control. That's how they get control is through their righteousness. Everything they do is driven by the desire for things to be morally right and perfected and perfect Whereas the sixth desire is that loyalty and certainty, right, and that security. The Enneagram 6 struggles deep down with fear at their core, specifically the fear of being harmed or betrayed. Whereas the One struggles with their anger, specifically resentment, because they feel they are the only ones upholding righteousness and perfection in the world. Threes and Ones are often mistyped as well. I see Threes mistyped a lot of times as eights, a lot. I see Threes mistyped as ones. I see Twos mistyped as threes, Ones mistyped as threes, Eights mistyped as threes. But the Three and One mistype is a common one and they're very similar. They seem very similar. Threes are perfectionists in work with themselves and their image. The One can think of themselves as an achiever in a sense. They want to achieve moral rightness and perfection and have justice serves. The Three, though, wants to achieve, win and be the best because they believe it's the only way that they're worthy of love. Significance is the driver. Whereas the Type one wants that perfection and and image for rightness in order to be upheld. Because they believe they have to keep everything right in order to have control, independence and autonomy. These two types, though, also struggle with different feelings. The Three struggles more with feelings of unworthiness and shame, and the One struggles with resentment and anger. Type Nines and Twos, honestly is probably the most common. They are probably the most like alike on the Enneagram. The Two, though is highly empathetic. They feel everyone's emotions all the time and they intuitively know kind of what to do. The Nine is kind and friendly, but they don't feel everyone's emotions in the room. They feel the room. They don't feel the people in the room, but they can feel the room. Unless like they can sense conflict. That is what they feel. The biggest key difference I see between these two types comes down to the centers of intelligence. Okay, the two is part of the feeling center of intelligence. So the two kind of struggles with feelings of unworthiness and insignificance. They can sense who is authentic and they can feel it below the surface, but are afraid that, you know, rejection might happen. Where the Nine, on the other hand, is in the instinctual triad and they struggle with knowing who they are at all. They feel like they can morph into anything that people want them to be. For that need for harmony, the Two needs to focus on cultivating their creative self expression and embracing that individuality where the 9 needs to focus on recognizing and fulfilling their needs. And desires so they can discover who they are. Like I said before, I think the Enneagram 3 and the Enneagram 8 are mostly like these are the two. Like if you have been typed as a three or eight, chances are you are mistyped. I see. Especially if you're a high achieving woman. And they often mistype as each other. I was mistyped as a three. And behaviorally I can see why. Right. But they are so different at the core level. But behaviorally they're both driven and ambitious and they go after it. But they are so, so different. The three is in the feeling center, which the underlying emotion is shame. Right? And as being part of that feeling center of intelligence, they struggle with feeling inherently unworthy. And the 8 is in that instinctual triad where their underlying emotion is anger. And the eight struggles with strong aggression. That can rub people the wrong way. Threes can rub people the wrong way, but for different reasons. The three often struggles because they care what people think of them at a core level. They may on the outside look like they don't, but they do. Where the 8 has a I don't give a fuck attitude. Their growth paths are very similar. Both in the end, must learn vulnerability and authenticity. Both really struggle with that. So that's kind of why that comes into play. 9, 6 are mistyped a lot. They're connected to each other. Interestingly enough though, the six kind of the growth number is nine and the nine goes to the six under stress. And this is probably the main source of this mistype. So this can depend where you're at in your life. Kind of how this shows up. Another big difference between the nine and the sixes. The nine goes to numbing behaviors and stress, whereas the six goes to overachieving behaviors. And that again, that nine desires harmony. As long as they feel a sense of that inner peace and harmony within the world, they're chill. The six desires that loyalty and certainty and everything they do is driven by the desire to have that. I could go on and on about all of these and I'll just share one more. I would love to know kind of where you're at and if you feel mistyped, hit me up. I would love to hear about it. But the last one I'm going to share, this one is super common, is the seven and the eight. And this is where, you know, knowing and understanding wings can come into play here. A lot of sevens will lean heavy into their eight. A lot of eights will lean heavy into their seven. And so depending on where you're at this can look really, really different. Motivationally they could not be more different. But if you think about a seven desiring, you know, certainty that all options are available to them, that can look very domineering sometimes, especially if they feel like they're going to be boxed in, they might be a more aggressive or assertive and an 8 wanting that independence, autonomy, control and strength. A lot of times they can be very fast moving like a seven. But in the end the core desire is very different. The seven desires, like I said, positivity, independence, freedom and being part of that thinking triad, their underlying emotion is fear and anxiety. So they shy away from the negative emotions out of fear of feeling them, that it might rob them of being controlled. Right. They don't want to be controlled, they don't want to be put in a box. So a lot of times they'll shy away from the negative emotions where that 8 they eat intensity for breakfast and they desire that. And as part of the instinctual triad that anger is the underlying emotion and they can be explosive and aggressive in expressing their negative emotions. A lot of times A7 will try to bring positivity and fun to any room they enter whereas an 8 has kind of that, that I don't give a fuck attitude. So anyway, like I could go on and on about common enneagram mistypes. I think any type can be mistyped as others but these are some of the more common ones. If you believe that maybe you're mistyped or you want to know for sure, like I said, go to my website tracyomally.com where you can take the assessment that works you guys and once you have the right information you can use all the other brilliant framework connected to your type. Like I said, it's not this linear kind of thing. It's not just I'm a this and this is how I am deal with it or they're just of this and we just need to deal with it. Once you have the accurate information, that's when you unlock the magic of the framework and the system between the wings, the growth number, the stress numbers, the lines, the subtypes, the tri types, all of this beautiful juicy stuff so that you can fast track and accelerate your transformation and growth in your Life. Go to traceeomalley.com, get your blueprint today. If you want to dive even deeper, schedule a one on one or a partner session or a couple session. This is where we go into all of it. It gets real juicy and fun. But also as a reminder, don't go around I know a lot of you Enneagram, like lovers and obsessed, want to go around typing people. And I know there are a lot of Enneagram certified people out there that I know because you're coming in my inbox and you want to learn the Enneagram the way that I teach it. This is 12 years of experience with it, or close to 12 years of experience with it, and thousands and thousands and thousands of hours spent diving in deeper with people. So I am honored that you come to me and listen for all this beautiful Enneagram wisdom. I would love to hear what you want to know more about in regards to the Enneagram. If you have been mistyped or you think you're mistyped, kind of hit me up and let me know why you think you are so that I can know how to serve you all better. And in the meantime, I'm wishing you so much love and transformation in your life and I will see you in a few days.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com. i'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.