EP352: Are You Really Ready for A Pivot, Or Are You Running Scared? How to Use the Enneagram to Know For Sure!

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

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You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy and to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of daily breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I'm your host Tracy o' Malley and there's a lot of talk about pivoting and this isn't in alignment. So I'm going to switch it up or I got to find my niche. All the things and this could not just be professional. I want to have a conversation today with you about knowing whether this is time for a pivot or if you are avoiding hard things or are you making decisions based on comparison or what you think you got to be doing in order to be successful, whether that's in your personal life or your professional life. And so I wanted to share with you some of the things that have come up with some of my clients lately, obviously without disclosing who they are or their situations. But a lot of times by the time somebody comes to me, especially for my one on one coaching or a 90 minute private session, there's something in your life that is either keeping you up at night or you want to make a shift in. Right? Or you're ready to. You feel a pivot or a change coming, but you're not maybe certain if it's coming from the right place. And so how do you discern that? Right. And there have been many times in my life that I have pivoted or jumped ship, and it was clearly like, now I'm seeing on the other side of was a way to run, hide, stop the pain, avoid, right? So you can blow up your life when you do that, or you can disrupt things that in a way that isn't serving you or what you're here to do or what's really effective. So how do you discern this? Honestly, the Enneagram can really, really help you in knowing that. The beauty of the Enneagram is that it's rooted in your motives, right? And your core fears. And once you have your accurate typing, you can reverse engineer and really pinp point and get to the root of things. And checking your blind spots, checking your motives, checking your fears, and with compassion and kindness and empathy and grace, come to the conclusion for yourself. This is the beauty of the Enneagram is it allows you, once you really know how to use the framework, how to kind of move through this. Obviously, this is why having a guide like me in the beginning and learning about this, so that you can learn how to use this tool more effectively in your life can be super beneficial. Getting accurately typed is number one. So you can go today and get your blueprint@traceyomalley.com and if you've taken an online assessment, just know well over 65 to 70% of the time, those are inaccurate. And so if you're using this framework to help you navigate really big freaking decisions in your life, having the right information is key. And that's why I worked really hard for a really long time to make sure that what I brought you was accurate. It's over 95% accurate. I've done thousands and thousands of them, and I've only come up with about three that were inaccurate. So there's that. But once you have the right information, like, you have to know what to do with it. Information doesn't equal transformation. The integration of this information does. And when you have your accurate typing, so I'll kind of give you myself for an example so you can hear in real time, like, how I navigate making decisions, deciding when to pivot, deciding if things aren't in alignment anymore. This is personally and professionally right? So my core motive is independence, autonomy, and control and being strong. Okay? Also, my core fear is being betrayed, violated, or put in a vulnerable situation. So there have been times in my life where I've made decisions to change things up because I felt vulnerability or betrayal was coming. Right. And because I can kind of use that as my measuring stick. But this also takes radical honesty. This also takes radical honesty because I don't care how much I know this stuff, if I don't really, really feel my way through this, I will justify anything to say, no, this is definitely the right thing to do. So a lot of times people will come to me. I'm a hell of a business strategist as well. Right. Like, we work on the inner stuff with the enneagram, the things that block us personally and professionally, but we also work a lot on strategy personally and professionally. Because sometimes, you know, this means navigating out of friend groups or navigating out of a marriage or a relationship, or finding harmony as a parent and business and entrepreneur or work life. Harmony, right. I don't believe in balance because, like, one little degree can throw things off. But finding harmony, even in when it's chaotic, can be key. So a lot of times people, my clients will come to me and they're like, I want to do this, I want to do this. I'm like, well, why? Why? Before we start going into strategy of you wanting to do this, let's get to the root of why you think that is. One of the number one things I get people coming to me with is I want to be a speaker. I want to, you know, do speaking, and I really want to know why the best speakers, I will tell you, didn't want to be speakers. Right. It came from their passion, from something else, something they've experienced, and because they're so passionate about that, they ended up speakers a lot of the time. Very rarely does somebody say, I want to be a speaker, and they crush it at life. Right? Because a lot of times it's like, why do you want to speak? Do you feel like you're not using your voice, or do you assume that that is like the holy grail of what success means? Right. There's a lot of ways to use your voice that isn't up on a stage that is actually more impactful, more fulfilling, and all sorts of things. I also get a lot of people that come to me in a career, and maybe they want to venture out on their own or they want to switch careers or switch jobs. And, you know, especially in the world climate that we have today that can be really, really scary. I mean, the pandemic three and a half years ago pretty much blindsided all of us. Nobody was immune. And so a lot of times we've got these fears in our head, possibly or even in our body that kind of paralyze us and have a second guessing the right decision. So, and I've had a lot lately a lot of people that are switching things up and really feeling good and getting to the root before you just jump ship and understanding why, the why behind it, the motive behind it, so that you can go fully into, if it is for a pivot or a change, that it's coming from all the most honoring, genuine, accurate, effective places and not because you're uncomfortable, fearful, it doesn't give you enough significance or whatnot. Right. Otherwise you're just kicking the can down the street and it's not going to change things. I also get a lot of people maybe like you that you found yourself in this entrepreneurial space or you're leveling up or you've done a lot of personal development, you're on this growth journey and bravo to you. Like it is not for the weary or the weak. And you may have started this and you're looking around and a lot of times the people that you have surrounded yourself with either aren't doing that. They don't get it. In fact, sometimes they might passive aggressively or aggressively throw digs at you for it, they might gaslight you around it. And a lot of times you'll come to me and you want that support in your life. You want to make new friends. How do you make new friends? How do you have these powerhouse people in your life? Well, you got to make room for them, right? And that comes with a realization that maybe you are surrounded by people, places and things that are blocking the blessings and the support from coming in. I'm not saying to burn all the boats necessarily, but there are some times and some people in your life that they're part of the story's over, they're part of the story's over. And that's a hard realization, especially if you have a lot of time invested or that relationship, if you exit it or decide that that relationship is over in whatever form it is, it's going to be disruptive. And yes, it might be, but that is what's required to whom much is given, much is required. And I'm telling you right now to have like that free, first class, high level friendships, love, support, all the things those kind of people don't Wait in line for it. They are like moving through the world. And you have to not only have space for them, but you have to be clear enough and not distracted enough to recognize when that person, those people, that opportunity, that coach might show up. And what that requires is sitting in the wilderness for a while. The purgatory, right? It's like I used to kind of make deals with God or your higher power or the universe or whatever, right? I say, well, fine, I'll give this up, but you have to deliver this. And that's not how the shit works. You wait until right now. It doesn't mean you just sit there waiting. You have to take really effective action based on the information and the tool of the Enneagram. So, like, there have been times in my life, I mean, I exited a marriage very fucking hard. Like, I don't wish that on anyone. But sometimes it is the right thing to do, right? Very, very hard. Very disruptive. Not just for me. It was disruptive financially. It was disruptive to my children, it was disruptive to my ego. It was disruptive to everything I had ever known for 35 years at the time, right? So I get that. However, best decision, not just for me, but for all the things that it disrupted, right? But when we're in it, it's really hard to say, well, I want this, but it requires this. I'm going to let you know. It took about four years after that before I started to see the light. Because it got way worse before it got better, right? I was like ground zero financially. I was ground zero emotionally. My coping skills went off the rails. Like everything got worse before it got better. And it was still the right decision when I made a pivot professionally, obviously, I made a pivot 11 years ago when I walked away from my career, the career that I had known for almost 15 years at that point in a career I was really good at. And I was the sole provider financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Very hard decision. But you know when you have this time in your life and you feel that nudge, I had to really assess, like, what does this really mean? That's when I went to rehab. That's when I was introduced to the Enneagram. Right? Hardest time of my life. Scariest time of my life. And I was also dealing with the death of my dad after a 12 day cancer diagnosis. Really hard throw in getting sober on top of it. But with the tool of the Enneagram, I can use it to kind of guide me. Is this fear reasonable or am I operating out of that, am I operating in the ego of my motive or the honoring of my motive? Right. That, that flex that I, I can do as an eight. And so for you, right, whether it's in your relationship, in your friendships, in your support as a parent, in your career, in your entrepreneurial journey, really gauging and coming from your most honoring, authentic, true places, even if it means you have to kind of lift the hood on things. And that can be really, really scary. I just did it recently, like this last week. I knew that there was another level that I wanted to go in impact and I was the bottleneck. And if you haven't listened, I think I did an episode just last week on. Are you the bottleneck in your life? Absolutely I was. And so I had to kind of pull back the curtain, not just to myself, and use the framework of the enneagram to assess what is really going on for me here. With kindness, with compassion, with gentleness, not with judgment, not with guilt, not with shame. Those things won't serve you. They'll just keep the cycle going, right? But even recently I'm using this framework. I use this framework all the time, right? It allows me to be in my divinity, it allows me to be in my intuition and honoring my nervous system. It allows me to keep that all regulated so that I'm not just throwing all this shit up at the wall hoping something sticks, right? And so I had to make some hard decisions this week that were scary. They were scary financially, they were scary emotionally because I was about to let somebody in to all the shit that I'm absolutely frickin terrible at. Every vulnerability in my business was about to be exposed. And I have a lot of street cred here. I have a lot of credibility in what I do. I mean, companies like Google, Amazon, John Deere and many, many, many, many others have brought me in as the expert in community culture and marriages have brought me in, families have brought me in. And so, you know, letting somebody into the parts of my business where I'm absolutely not strong doesn't minimize or make me less credible at the shit I am fucking bulletproof at. Like I am first class, world class at what I do. But I can't make the impact and continue to do it at the highest of levels if I am unwilling to show the vulnerable parts of where I'm not so great are not so strong. And it doesn't mean I can't improve there. But why would I be in a zone of genius that isn't mine, that depletes me frustrates me and actually keeps me stuck. But I had to before I was ready, before I was out of purgatory.

Trust that this investment, first and foremost, it's a big investment. And also, is this the right person that I trust with the most vulnerable parts of my business? And discerning that took a lot of mental gymnastics. And using this framework and being completely, radically, compassionately honest with myself. And so when you're making big decisions, whether it's pivoting in your business, or pivoting in your relationships, or pivoting in your health, or pivoting as a parent, like knowing that it's coming from the most authentic and true honoring places is tricky. It can be mind fuckery sometimes. So having the tool and the understanding of the integration of the Enneagram can absolutely streamline your decision making process. It is a more gentler. You're not shoulding. I gotta. I must like that is just an energy which yeah, you can make things happen, but you won't be in flow. It won't be sustainable. You will completely burn out and bankrupt yourself energetically. And if you're creeping up in age, which y' all are, that is not sustainable. And you might find yourself in a position with your health and all the things that come with that, where you're white knuckling your life. And I don't want that for you. So first, get typed accurately on the Enneagram if you choose to use this tool. If you don't, that's okay too. But this really makes your transformation accelerated when you know what to do with it. Having the right information, number one is key. Then you can dabble. You have over 350 episodes here where you can kind of understand who you are using the framework of the Enneagram in a way that you first of all, you know is accurate. So have at it. Number two option is to spend 90 minutes with me in a power session or bring me into your team in organization, family, marriage, whatever. I can do all of those things. And holy crap, it's like 10 years accelerated very, very quickly. Not only will we go over your accurate information in that in your Enneagram type, but we will also go over what integration looks like in your life, specifically in the area or areas of your life that you want to move the needle or make a big decision. Number three, you want me on speed dial for a couple months. Like, you know, obviously spending 90 minutes is very powerful. I move very fast. All the things in a way that you can keep up. But if you got a lot of changes that you know need to come in your life personally, professionally. You feel like you have been white knuckling your life. You feel like you're one thing away from the whole thing blowing up. You want some private time with me for a couple months and I have just opened up a few spots. I think I have two right now. Just two private, one on one coaching packages. I only take a certain type of person that is absolutely ready. This is not for the weary. I work with some of the toughest people, men and women. Tough, tough, tough. Highly successful and even they are like, holy shit, this is not for the weary. And I'm like, no, you're ready though. When the student's ready, the teacher appears, right? And so if you know that you're ready and you've tried maybe other coaches or other programs or and the needle hasn't moved or you maybe move the needle but then you're back in the same cycle, that's when you need the master's program so you can. It's by application only. I don't take everyone. I have to make sure you're actually ready. Because we don't mess around. I do it with love and compassion, kindness, gentleness, nurturing, all the things. But we go hard too. We go hard. We're not here to fuck around anymore. Honestly, I know that you are here for mighty, mighty things. You are. And so if that is on your heart or you've been called to do that, it is an investment. It is an investment emotionally, financially, vulnerably. But if you know you're ready and you've been called to maybe do that, now is a good time. Two spots left. Go to Tracey omalley.com for all those things. The work with me section. Also, I'm going to be bringing you some really cool things in the months to come to learn in group situations, if you're not part of a team or organization. It's one of my favorite ways to teach you the enneagram and for you to learn about it. But if you have a big decision or you feel a pivot on your heart but you're not positive it's coming from the most effective places or you feel like maybe there's a part of you that's running scared, definitely you're going to want to dive into one of those three options and let me help guide you so that you can feel really good in making whatever decision that is. Whether it's to stay put or to say, fuck it, let's go in whatever area of your life. I am always like loving watching people take charge of their lives and make these decisions and then take the action to go for it. I've witnessed a lot of it the last few months and it is seriously the most rewarding thing to see people feeling so fulfilled, so fired up and so confident in that decision because they paused, they used the framework and they knew without question. Honoring their intuition, honoring their their nervous system and it was a full bodied hell yes. When you do things from those places, my goodness, do you create change and impact in your life and in your homes and in your businesses and in your own soul. It's always my honor to witness that, to help facilitate and accelerate the transformation in your life. If that is calling on your heart, mid year is the perfect time to do it. This is always when I kind of assess where I'm at, which is why I made big freaking decisions and pulled the trigger on lots of things. This week I'm walking the very talk I am taking you through and mid year is a perfect time to do it. Let's not fuck around anymore and let's go for it. Go to Tracy O' Malley.com the work with Me section. You can find me on Instagram at tracyomalley. If you have questions, you can always find me there. If you love this episode, share it with somebody who maybe needs to hear it. Or if you share it on the socials, give me a tag so I can take a peek into your life too. Wishing you so much love and transformation. We'll see in a few days.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram at traceeomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

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