EP353: Is It Time to Cut Them Loose? Making Hard Decisions Around the People in Your Life

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership. Sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello. Welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I helped four people get fired this week, and I know you might hear that and be like, God, you're an asshole. Like, that's savage. No, it's not. It sounds like it, but it isn't. And I am specifically recording this episode for you guys because I know, without a doubt in my mind, because I've done thousands of hours with people this goes for personally and professionally, right? That we are slow to make the hard decisions around people in our life. First of all, you know, in business, you might have heard the phrase like hire slow fire fast. By the way, that is something that I help a lot of people with is the hiring and firing process. Because, you know, we are having to do professionally and in business, whether you run a team in a business or corporation, or you're your own entrepreneur, we have to do a lot more with a lot less people. So you have to be able to leverage that every Single person's talent, skill sets. And so you have to have the right people in place. And for so many of us, because onboarding sucks or it's like, God, it's hard to find good people. Yes, both of those things are true. But if you have people in your business, we'll get to the personal part in a minute. But if you have people in your business that you have resentment over that you know, they're not leveling up or showing up the way that you need them to, first of all, you have to, you know, you and I have a conversation. Are you clear? Are you expecting them to read your mind? Like, let's assess the situation. Right, Assessing the situation. What's your part in it? Is first and foremost, where have you dropped the ball? Is there an opportunity for a clarity conversation with this person? Do you have to come to the table taking full accountability for your role in it and then maybe give them a probationary period? All really, really important stuff. But what happens if, you know, like, you've been clear, you know, all these things? Letting people go, even if you don't have somebody to replace them, might be the very thing that has to happen. What I have seen so often than not, especially if there are other teammates in the team, is when you show your team that you are not messing around, that you know that this person could be a really good person, they're just not the right fit for this position, that you won't tolerate, that you put everyone else on notice. Not in a bad way necessarily, but like, you have their best interest at heart as well. You're not willing to keep somebody who slows the team down or maybe is a cancer in the organization, right? And people in the team are willing to step up. Usually when you make moves like that, you would be surprised how much greatness you get out of your other people when you don't co sign bullshit that isn't for you. Like I said, it doesn't mean these people are bad people necessarily. Now, the four people that got fired this week, there were a few of them that were fucking assholes. No, no doubt about it. And entitled and all those things. But that isn't always the case. And sometimes when you have really, really good people that you really, really like but you know are absolutely the wrong person for the position, you hold onto them and then you have resentment and then you're wasting money and then you're telling the universe and the powers that be, right, that this is your standard, this is your standard. I'm going to get to Your personal life in a minute it's going to be a nice short and sweet episode because I just want to let you know how important this is. Your actions are way more important when it comes like your intentions followed by accurate actions are dictating what you're going to get in the future. When you tell the universe and the powers that be that this is your standard, you get those standards, you don't get your goals. You might want to have like this powerful integrator in your business or a right hand assistant that can like, it seems like they read your mind or whatever. If you are operating in your business as though this is your standard because you're keeping people in positions and in your business that don't serve you, you will continue to get your standards, not your goal. Right. The last episode I just recorded was about. What was it? I can't remember. I can't remember now. But I know it's really important because you gotta kinda sit in the unknown for a little bit. Yeah, you're gonna be struggling maybe a little bit because you won't have people to fill this gap. But in the long game, having the right people in the right position is really, really important. And you have to kind of make room for the right people to show up. And so there might be a temporary disruption in your organization. There might be temporary, like, oh my God, this is a lot of work happening for you. And it's okay. It's okay. Because the minute you start showing the universe that you will not co sign, you are not here for anything less than your highest of standards, that is when that starts to get delivered. I can't tell you exactly when, but when you start operating that these are the standards in which I operate in your personal life and your professional life, that is what starts to show up. Now let's get to your personal life for a moment. I hear from so many of you in my DMs, I hear from so many of you that are my clients or that you've done, you know, power sessions with me, that you want, you know, the right support in your life, in friendships, you want the right support in your life in a romantic partnership, but you're keeping people in your life that, that show me that your standards are lower. And when you operate with lower standards, that's what's gonna keep showing up. And so you're gonna have to take an inventory. This is really hard. This is really hard because you are going to have to make room for what you want. For high level people to be support in your business for high level people to be support in your personal life and all the things, you can't continue to operate with these lower standards and expect the goals that you have on your vision board. You can't expect to have the goals that you are trying to manifest. That's not how this shit works. You get your standards, not your goals. So who do you need to kind of take an inventory on in your life and what is your part in it? This is the other thing is when we decide it's time to cut somebody loose, it doesn't mean there has to be this hard conversation necessarily. In some cases when you have to let people go in your business, yeah, there is a conversation you have to have. But sometimes in your personal life, especially if you've got really good people in your life, I have really, I've had really great people in, in my life. And I also recognize that their part of the story might be over. And it doesn't mean I have to come to the table and say, you know what, this isn't working for me anymore. Now, obviously a romantic partnership, yes, you would, right? But sometimes the friendships, you can kind of just do the energy, duck out a little bit and if they have questions, then you can absolutely have those conversations. Maybe these people in your life, you know, if you have a conversation, it's going to go really bad, sideways. But usually what I have found with people, myself included, is when I have started to do the energy pullback and duck out not to hurt them, but like kind of like backing out of a room, they did too. Right. And not always does there have to be this grandiose big finale, but you have to be managing the people that get your time. Sometimes there are big blow ups and sometimes there are conversations that need to be had, but not always. And so I don't want you to think like you have to come in guns blazing and burning it all to the ground all the time. Sometimes that's required. It is. Sometimes it is. To whom much is given, much is required. And with great reward comes great responsibility. And if everything that you say you desire in your life is true, then it's going to require you to make room for it. As far as business goes, I know that a lot of you are entrepreneurs and you know, your overhead, you don't have a lot of extra for support. And so having the right people is so important. Some of you have hired friends, some of you have hired family. And in the beginning that might have been okay, right. But I guarantee you, like you can love A person, it could be your best fucking friend. And they are not the right person for the job. And I would rather for me have a hard conversation now than for you to have so much resentment down the road that it ruins the entire friendship. Right? Because if you are operating in a business that, you know, makes big impact, that you love, that you find fulfilling, that you have waited your whole life to do, and if you have the wrong people in the wrong positions or the wrong people in the business at all, it's going to prolong and it's going to bleed you out, and it's going to deplete you energetically, financially, passionately. And so sometimes just ripping off the band aid and doing the hard things, you, yes, you might have a little panic because, like, oh, my God, now who's going to do this work? And I've had to do it. I've had to do it, and it's hard. I did it a couple years ago, and it was really, really hard because I cared about this person a lot. She was wonderful, wonderful. Not a damn thing wrong with her as a person. She was not the right person for the job. And financially, I was paying her a lot of money. And of course, at first I was like, oh, my gosh, like, how am I gonna make up this slack? And another person that I have working for me didn't miss a beat. We didn't miss a beat as a business. And not only did my resentment go away because I was getting frustrated that she wasn't the right person, but also financially, it was costing me a hell of a lot of money. Right. And, you know, here we are again, you know, bringing in the right people. So I want to be able to help you. I do a lot of these kind of things. I can do it in a power session. We can assess kind of where you're at, what you're lacking, fill the gaps where you're at in your business so that you can get the most bang for your buck with the right person. Also, when you hire me in to help with teams and organizations through workshops, or you fly me in, or you have me come into your team and organization, we talk a lot about this, like, who are your thoroughbreds? Who are the people that can have you take this business, this opportunity to the next level seriously and really identifying who your power people are, it doesn't mean that anybody else is less valuable. But this is also how you, as a leader, can empower people who may have been playing small. When you have the right people in the right positions, not Only are you able to be in your zone of genius more often? You make the people around you better. So I'm going to ask you, is it time to cut somebody loose in your business, in your team? Is it time to cut somebody loose in your personal life? This is not easy. It is not easy. It is not fun. Even for an enneagram 8 who is not afraid of conflict. Even for an enneagram 8 who, you know, has no problem burning the shit down. You know, I'm still a human and these are people's lives. And I want to tell you this, I want to finish with this. You aren't helping somebody and you aren't making them better by keeping them in something that they aren't great at. You're actually enabling them to play small. You're enabling them to be stuck. Even if you know this might hurt them, might hurt them emotionally, it might even hurt them financially for a short period of time. You actually might be doing this person a huge ass favor in the long game. They may not see it now. They might not ever see it. But I know for me that I don't want to co sign or enable anybody to play small in their life. And if that means we have to do the hard things, then that's what we do. And I know that these kinds of things have made me a stronger parent, a better leader, a better partner, a better friend in my life. And this is a muscle that you have to build. The more that you get used to adding resistance to this and lifting the heavy weight of this, the stronger you get in your business, the stronger you get in leadership, in partnership, in friendship, you as a person. That is when real magic happens in your life. I am so proud of you. If you want to dive deeper on this, you can do a power session with me. If you are wanting to inquire about bringing me into your team, your business, your organization or your family, you can do that@traceeomalley.com the work with me section, that is where we do all the really cool things. I can customize it to you and your situation, but I know that you can't wait one more day not having the right people around you. And it might require taking an inventory today. And it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or they're a bad person. Just sometimes people's part of the story is over. And having the discernment and compassion to know when it's time to do these hard things, this is when the universe, the divine God, the powers that be, can really help you manifest and deliver everything that you desire and everything that you deserve. Go to traciomalley.com, the work with Me section. If you're on Instagram, you can find me there at tracyomalley. I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook all the things if you love this episode, share it with somebody that needs it. Share it on social so I can take a peek into your life and see what you're doing and give you a little follow too. As always, I wish you so much love and transformation in your life. We'll see you in a few days.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram @tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.