EP357: How Can We Be the Same Enneagram Type—But Also SO Different?? Learn Why Here!

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey. Hey. Welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And how many times have, especially in your exploration with the Enneagram, have you run across somebody with the same Enneagram type as you, and you're like, we're so different. Though it may leave a lot of questions, you might even throw out the benefit of this tool if you've experienced that. So today we're going to be talking about some of the reasons why you can have the same Enneagram type right next to each other. And yet they kind of seem so different and it's very confusing for you. I'm going to bring some of that to light for you, but before I do, I wanted to share with you something really exciting that you've been asking for. And also I've been working hard behind the scenes to bring you the best possible valuable experience. One of the best ways to learn about the Enneagram and my favorite way to help you integrate this into Your life is in a group setting. Some of my most favorite work has been with teams and families, right? When you bring all the different dynamics together and watch the light bulbs go off and all of a sudden the walls go down and the deeper compassion and understanding for people and people that you work with, people that you love that are a little bit different than you. And I recognized that that's probably the best way to learn. But what do you do if you're not part of a business or a team or organization and maybe your family isn't into this or whatever? So I wanted to put together a group setting that is a one off. You don't have to buy into a membership. You don't have to be, you know, buying a group coaching program. This is a one off kind of group setting. You can come as many times as you want because you'll always get something different. If you've ever heard me speak anywhere. One of the things that I'm told that people love most about when I do speak is that they get something new every time. And that will be no different within the group setting and the group coaching that I will be doing with the Enneagram. And what you might want to do though is get a couple girlfriends together or a couple, a bunch of people, maybe some people that you work with. Obviously, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna dive in and the more the merrier and the more different types that show up, the better you'll be able to see a real life in person, not just me telling you about types and. But this will be a really, really cool experience. It's a three hour workshop and you'll have recording available for a limited amount of time. I highly recommend you come live. If you haven't gotten my Enneagram blueprint, I highly recommend you do that. In fact, if you sign up for the workshop, you have a special available for you to get the blueprint. You can come without having that. However, to be part of the actual slide deck and be available for even some hot seat coaching to have that available to you. The blueprint is absolutely the way to have that happen. And you know, it's one of those things. Having the right information makes this super valuable. And I'm super passionate about the accurate information. My assessment, my blueprint is 95% accurate. All those other online assessments are not accurate 65 to 70% of the time. And you know, to use this beautiful tool in the most effective ways, you have to have the right information. It's really the only hard thing about the Enneagram is getting the right information. But once you do, it unlocks everything. So you don't have to know your Enneagram type to participate. It absolutely will be a valuable experience whether you know nothing about the Enneagram, whether you're dipping your toe in or if you are obsessed with the Enneagram. But you want to know how to further take this information, integrate it in your life and accelerate any kind of transformation in your life. Three hour workshop absolutely will include breaking down the nine types. Why the Enneagram's amazing. Going into the wings, the instincts, the subtypes, the growth number, the stress numbers, the tri types, which is amazing. That's why you need your blueprint. Because seriously, that's next level shit. What it means when it comes to your type, how your communication styles, your blind spots, all the things. Like I said, hot seat coaching. Just opportunities to connect with people that love the Enneagram as well. So you can go to traceeomalley.comworkshop to get that information. It's a very low cost for this kind of workshop. I'm very, very excited about it. The first one is August 14th, 7:00pm Eastern Standard Time. Do not miss out on that. Okay? One of the things we'll talk about in the workshop too is how you can have two of the same type right next to each other. And why are they so different? Right? There's lots of different reasons why. If you've been listening for any length of time or you know the Enneagram well, you know that we're more than just our type. That's what I love about it. It's not just a label that says, hey, I'm this and too effing bad. This is how I roll. Or I can't do that because I'm a this or this is why I do this because I'm this. There' so much more to your Enneagram type and the framework connected to your type. Your Enneagram type is just your home base. Honestly. It's where your motives are. It's where your fears are. But what you do with that. There's a lot more to the Enneagram that could help you and guide you and allow you to step into areas that are more challenging for you. Troubleshoot where you do get slipped up. Okay? So one of the reasons why you can have two of the same Enneagram types right next to each other and they seem so different. First of all, they might be typed wrong. First and foremost. That's probably the number one reason is Somebody's mistyped or both of you are mistyped. Happens all the time. It's why I developed the blueprint. That's the number one reason. So I'd start, you know, it's kind of like my dad used to teach me when things, when we're troubleshooting why things aren't working. Check the power, right? Getting typed accurately is your form of checking the power. So first of all, get that information right? Especially if it's somebody that you love, you're leading and you're using the tool of the enneagram. Another reason why two of the same enneagram types might express differently if you're typed accurately the level of health, right? There are different stages in which we have grown. And I get asked this question a lot. Does your type change? No, it does not. If you had met me 15 years ago, I was still an 8 back then, but how I showed up and how I expressed is very different than the eight you see in front of me today. So you could have had the 15 year ago version of me sitting right next to the today version of me and both eights. And you would think like, oh my gosh, it's totally different level of health. And I was very close minded back then and guarded and all those things. Another reason why you can be the same type as somebody else but express very differently is the subtype or the instinct, right? The instinct is what kind of makes your, what puts you into one of three types of your type, right? The instincts. We have all three of them. We use all three of them. One is kind of our home base of where we go first. And if you're a self preservation type, how you instinctually respond to life could be very different than a social subtype or a one on one or sexual subtype. So that absolutely can change how somebody responds to things. A self preservation four. Absolutely. Completely different than a social four. Very, very different. Because when a self preservation instinctual type is responding to life, their first kind of go to is about safety, security and comfort. Whereas a one on one goes to interpersonal and intensity of an experience and a social goes to kind of what's my place in this whole thing, right? You can see where even if you are both the same type, where you're come from is in dealing with things can look really, really different. Another reason why you might look different if you're the same type as someone is the wings and the use of the wings, right? We have two wings. If you listen to me, you know that I teach that you have Two wings. You should learn how to use both of them because using one of your wings is only like partially effective and actually can cripple you a little bit, in my opinion. So. So the real flex is using both of your wings. Now, you know, depending on how you're using your wings and which wings you're using at any given time, that can look really, really different. I mean, we can use our wings in a not so healthy way too. And I, there were times in my life where I looked very seven, like a crazy ass seven. There were times in my home growing up that I looked like a dysfunctional nine. Right. Even though I am an eight through and through. Right. So somebody's use of their wings and how and when they use them and how skilled they are at using them, and if they're using them in a healthy way or not so healthy way, that can absolutely determine how your type shows up and why you might look different than somebody else of your type. Another reason why you might be the same type, but kind of appear a little differently is growth and stress. Right. When we are stepping into our growth number, that absolutely looks really, really different. I like to think that, and I believe this, that I am in my growth number a lot more than I ever was. And it absolutely creates kind of a different energy, a different come from. But it takes a lot of work to get there, right? And I'm using the other framework attached to me in order for me to be more in that. Mother Teresa is an enneagram 8, although she's mistyped a lot as a 2, but that is her growth number and how she looks compared to like an average 8 on the street. That's a clear testament to the power of the lines and the growth and the stress numbers that we use within our framework. Now, when each Enneagram type is under stress. If you haven't listened to the last episode I recorded on how to use your stress number to break through shame and self sabotage, I highly recommend you go look at that and listen to that. When an Enneagram type is under stress, they can take on the characteristics and the coping mechanisms of their stressor number. Now, there's a beautiful way to be able to use that in a healthy way. But most of us that are early in our personal development journey or haven't been using tools like the Enneagram, it might feel a little clunky and you may not be using it that way. So that is another reason why you can look different than another type or the same type next to you. I'VE seen a lot of people that really haven't started the deeper, deeper inner work. Maybe they've done personal development and gone to events and even hired coaches, but they're resisting the inner work and the self awareness part and doing something about it. A lot of times people will mistype as their stress number. I see that happen a lot. Now the final I could go into this all day long of why the same type can look different than another person that is the same type. One of my favorite things to teach on and this will be part of the group coaching workshops that I do every month. And this is also part of my power sessions that I do my 90 minute one on one power sessions as well as my one on one coaching. We dive deep into your tri type. Now your tri type is the numbers you dominate in all three centers of intelligence. And we'll get into this in the group workshop at a deeper, deeper level. But where we default to is where our home is and where our core enneagram type is, where our motives are, where our fears are. That doesn't change. And that type is in one of the three centers of intelligence. But we do use all three. Now the tri type comes into play when we dominate in the other two centers of intelligence that are different than our home enneagram type center of intelligence. So let's say you're a 2. You are in the feeling center of intelligence. Your like that center of intelligence. That's where you go to first kind of by default. But you do have the thinking center and the instinctual center that you still need to use. And if you are dominating as a different type in those centers, it doesn't change how you're motivated, doesn't change how you fear. But when you're in the thinking center where you dominate and in the instinctual center where you dominate, that can take on a whole different look. I have had threes I that have the tri type. Obviously the three hasn't changed. But let's say they're a five in the thinking center and a nine in the instinctual center. A three like you, you're motivated like a three, but you think like a five and you act out and respond in real time like a nine. It's going to look really different than a three that dominates like a seven in the thinking center and an eight in the instinctual center. Completely different expression out in the world. Motivationally they're the same in their fears, they're very much the same. But how they express in the world and how they critically think how they use emotional intelligence is going to show up very, very differently. So there's a lot more to the Enneagram. There's a lot more to you than just your type. This is why I am doing these workshops. Because it's one thing to hear it on this podcast, it's one thing to to read about it, but it's another thing to hear it, see it live through humans, through somebody facilitating it, and explaining more in depth how this applies to you. And it's this is so beautiful. When I do the team in group and family workshops that I've done over the last few years, I've done hundreds of them. This is usually where if your Enneagram type wasn't resonating or you weren't sure, or you want to understand this at a deeper level, but it wasn't clicking, this is where it does. And that will be happening in the group workshops. The first one is August 14th, 7:00pm Eastern Standard Time. It is such a low cost for three hours of, you know, my masterful teachings and methodology around the Enneagram. I've put in well, well over 10,000 hours over the last 1112 years with this tool and I'm excited to be able to bring it to you at a cost that is ridiculous, quite honestly, for a three hour workshop and all the things. And if you haven't gotten your blueprint yet, this is a perfect time to do it because you'll get a special deal when you buy the workshop and your blueprint at the same time. If you've already gotten your blueprint, just go and get your workshop ticket. And if you don't want to do your blueprint yet, you don't have to, but you'll definitely get a lot more personally out of it. And I can be very case specific to you. If you have gotten your blueprint, go to traceyomalley.comworkshop to get that set up today. I cannot wait to dive in deeper with so many of you. I know that there's lots of ways to learn about the Enneagram and there's amazing, beautiful information teachers out there. And I will also say that most of them couldn't teach you in real time integration of this. And it's, it is my sweet spot. It is kind of my blue ocean. If you are familiar with what that means, the way that you'll hear and learn about the Enneagram is probably different than you have ever experienced before. And that's what makes it amazing. I really will stand by that. I've seen the beauty of the transformations that have happened through a group setting, and I really wanted to be able to pass it on to those of you that maybe aren't part of a team organization and maybe it's too vulnerable for you to do it with people you know. And this gives you an opportunity to learn in a group with that. But if you have friends that you want to bring and do this together, this is a beautiful way to do it too. Like I said, go to Tracy O' Malley.com workshop for the August 14th one at 7pm Eastern Standard Time. I cannot wait to see you and watch the light bulbs go off for you and watch and see how this helps you step into that ultimate leader that you are in your life. For you to have all the abundance that I know you desire and that I know you deserve and maybe have been stuck in getting that. So I am so grateful for you. Until next time. I will be seeing you soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and lead leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.