EP358: Season 2 coming in Hot - Has self-abandonment become the sneaky go to in your life?

Hello. Welcome back to Lead with the Enneagram. And on this episode today, I kind of get really vulnerable with you. If you have been following along, you know that this podcast has been on a little hiatus for about six weeks. And in this episode I drop into why, what's coming, what's new, and also talking about why for many of you, self abandonment is your go to thing that's holding you back personally, professionally, in all the things. I'm so excited to bring more in this season two than I've ever brought you before. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little rusty. Been, you know, haven't been on the podcast and talking space very, very much so. I'm a little rusty. But I guarantee you this episode is something that you need to hear today. So here we go. Dive on in.

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it, so here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show.

Where you will actually learn how to.

Use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professionally. H. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool, I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Well, hey, it's been a long time. It has been six weeks that the podcast went on a break. And you know, I thought for sure that this week was the best week to bring it back. And, you know, a lot has gone on. This podcast has been on air, gosh, almost four years now, 357 episodes. And it's on its third name change.

And, you know, the last. This, this 2023 has been some of the biggest soul searching I've done. And the reason why I wanted to bring you season two starting now. Yeah, season two starts with episode 358. And I just figured, like, this is how I wanted to do it. I've always kind of done things that are out of the box. I marched to the beat of my own drum. I'm an enneagram8. So of course I'm not going to be controlled by the, the narrative, the norm or anything like that. But I also, in, in true transparency, really needed to discern if I was in my five cave and isolating, and those of you that know the Enneagram, know what that means, or if this was exactly what I needed to do in order to bring you exactly what I know many of you aren't getting and what you need. And after much discernment, after some radical honesty, after leaning in to my people that I trust with my life, I knew that this season, the last six weeks needed to happen and I needed to go inward in order to come out hot for you. Hot for you.

And it's been hard. It's been hard. I'm somebody who is a reactor and like just, you know, goes into burning buildings, so to speak, and, you know, ask for forgiveness later. And that has served me very well in a lot of ways in my life. But I know for what I'm about to bring you in this season, coming forward, not just on the podcast, but in the work that I do, the mentoring that I do, the friendships that I have, the parenting that I do, the. The love that I give to those that I hold so dear, it was required. And to whom much is given, much is required. And that usually means something very opposite of what you've typically done. Because what gets you, what's gotten you here won't necessarily get you there. So seasons of silence aren't my favorite. They really, really aren't. It is where I go sometimes under stress. But dark things typically have happened in those seasons of silence, rather than growth and vulnerability and real feeling. Right? This is where discernment and the gift of Enneagram has served me so that I can take a six week podcast hiatus and bring you for this moving forward. Just the very, very best of you know what I know you actually need. You may not even know you need it. So why is this week so important? Well, it was, gosh, over 11 years ago that I ventured into true recovery. 22 years ago I started recognizing that, wow, I have some stuff that no matter how smart I am and how much I understand cognitively, I couldn't outrun, outwit, outlast, out, think, outrun any of the things that I had experienced that had been taught, told and modeled for me. So 22 years ago was my first true venturing into any kind of recovery. I started with Al Anon. I'm, I'm an adult child of an alcoholic and I'm an adult child of a huge codependent as well. I have struggled most of my life in people pleasing, codependency, alcohol, food, power, sex, you name it, everything but drugs. I have used to either feel or to numb or, or to cope or to manage. And it was about when I, when I was 28 years old was my first venturing into, oh, gosh, that's 24 years ago, my first venturing into recovery and, you know, recognizing that, you know, I had gotten married, had two babies at that point, by the time I was 28, had a mortgage, all the things, and moved, you know, 2,000 miles away from my family of origin, thinking that, you know, I'm good, I'm good as long as I set up shop somewhere else and know that I don't want what I grew up with necessarily. And a lot of the things I grew up with were great, but a lot of it was really not. I thought moving away and starting my own family would allow me to do things differently. And in a lot of ways, yes it did. But as we have kids and as we grow and as we get older, we recognize that, wow, if we don't repair it, we're repeating it or it gets repeated, or in my case, both. And my first venture into recovery, like I said, was with Al Anon. And that is usually reserved for people that have been affected by addiction. You know, family member, a spouse, a partner, friend, sibling, whatever. And recognizing that addiction is a family disease, it really, really is. And it doesn't matter what kind of addiction. Some obviously appear more destructive than others. But in my experience, in almost 30 years of any kind of recover, all addictions take their toll and there is wreckage left, no matter the addiction. So for 12 years, I kind of ventured into that. It felt victimy, quite honestly. I think Al Anon is great. I think any kind of self awareness is great, but you know, that program focuses a lot on those that have been affected by addiction. And although, yes, I have been the product of an addict, a full blown addiction, I also recognize my part in it. Doesn't mean that I'm responsible for their feelings or all the things. I'm not going to go into the whole thing, but I recognize that, yeah, that, that is part of my story, but there's more to it. And where it came full circle was almost 12 years ago when I recognized my coping mechanisms that I was repeating and also picking up new ones along the way to cope. I was. I was repeating some of the same patterns, different addictions sometimes, but the same result was panning out. And that meant dysfunctional family of my own.

A little over 12 years ago, you know, I went through the divorce, the recession, the 2008 crash, all of that happened. And when I hit 2010, you know, finally feeling that, I recognize I had zero tools in the toolbox other than the dysfunctional ones. I had anger, lots of anger, you know, coming off a divorce that at the time I thought was not my fault. It always takes two, by the way, no matter how dysfunctional the other person is, you have a role in it. This is healing codependency, y'. All.

But recognizing that my coping skills were my responsibility, and I started to see that play out in the lives of my own kids. My. My coping mechanisms were affecting them. Didn't matter what had happened in my marriage or, or there, like that was his responsibility, but I was responsible for how I was showing up in life. And it wasn't good. On paper, it looked great. Absolutely. On paper it looked great. And.

But I saw a different story in the eyes of my kids and some of the things that they were playing out in their lives. And so was 12 years ago that I decided to take charge of my stuff, really take charge of my stuff, and, and be radically responsible. And, you know, that anger was eating me alive. It had me acting out. And that's why alcohol at the time really became very pronounced. Because for most of my life, even though I'm an enneagram8, I know how intense my anger can be. And so for a lot of the time, I would keep it and stuff it, because it is a lot. It is.

Extreme sometimes valid, for sure, but the way that it got expressed was a little bit too intense. And so I would shelve it and bottle it up. And so when I had alcohol in my blood and in my body, there was no amount of containment that could keep it in. And the wreckage and the shrapnel that flew usually on innocent people.

Became so much that I was buried in shame and regret and hurt. You know, I was seeing in my kids eyes like that play out all over again. And so I decided to get help for all the things, not just the obvious alcohol issue and dysfunctional relationship I had with it, but you know, I had an eating tag teamed with two eating disorders and a very dysfunctional relationship with food that had gone on since I was about four or five years old. The anger management, the control, the perfectionism, the, you know, you name it. Like I said, except drugs. And I decided to get help and checked myself into rehab.

And I put all the cards on the table. I put all the cards on the table because here's the thing. You might have an obvious thing in your life, but usually the obvious thing is just a symptom of the bigger thing. And the bigger thing for me that I've really, really learned over the last 11, 12 years is self abandonment. Self abandonment, sometimes for other people, sometimes to deal with the shame of myself. There's a number of reasons why we self abandon. But when I, when I entered into rehab and put all the cards on the table and she was an enneagram 8 my therapist and you know, I just knew like I could be as intense as fuck and she was not going to be swayed by it. Every, all the other nine therapists I had had before I could control and I would test them and recognize that they were afraid of me in some way or I could intimidate them and so I could play the part and it wasn't helping anybody. But with the one that I found in rehab, she wasn't rattled by my intensity and so I was like, okay, she can go toe to, to game on. And it was on day two that she introduced me to the Enneagram. Ironically, if you are new to the podcast, I went into this kicking and screaming. I wanted nothing to do with the Enneagram, which is ironic because now it's the main tool that I use to bring many people to transformation. As you kind of sift through your wreckage and where maybe your life is dysfunctional and holding you back personally and professionally and you know, the Enneagram, once I surrendered to her and she said like your best thinking has gotten here. This might actually help you get out of the box that you have been put in and you have put yourself in. And what the Enneagram gave me in that moment was clarity and compassion and recognizing recogniz. I don't know the Word recognition of how I for 40 years, up until that point had self abandoned.

And that was the, the true thing taking me out. And if you've grown up with an addict or been in relationship with an addict, this is where codependency comes into play if you have addictive tendencies. A lot of times we're using a people, place or thing to self abandon because what, what we're looking back at in the mirror seems too much, or we haven't had tools given to us, or we haven't been taught, told or modeled something, or even if you have been taught, told or modeled something, there's something going on for you. And the enneagram provided that roadmap. Now, the enneagram isn't the only thing I will say that. But looking back at 12 years of recovery, only 11 of those years are, are continuous. You know, I had relapse in my story. This is where self abandonment and strong will. I thought I knew a better way. And without full surrender to whatever process. I'm not saying recovery aa like there's many ways to get sober, but I think self awareness and self compassion is the number one way to solidify it and have continuous kind of emotional sobriety.

But for 12 years now, like this radical honesty with myself sometimes came with a shame stick and pulverizing myself. A lot of you guys are super, super self aware you are, but usually you use it to bury yourself or to judge yourself, or to justify some of your shit. And why I love the Enneagram is it allowed me to understand at the core of who I am, why I'm motivated the way I am, why I do what I do and how to use it as a compass of compassion and to not make the same mistakes over and over and over, how to break the pattern. Now, just because I took out the substance of alcohol and I haven't been active in disordered eating for 11 continuous years this weekend, it doesn't mean that life doesn't kick me in the teeth and it won't kick you in the teeth. You know, just because I don't use substances and people, places and things anymore doesn't mean life isn't hard. And in fact, I would say this last year has been one of the most challenging on my life and the best and the best.

Codependency is the hardest addiction to break and it does not discriminate. And this is where self abandonment comes. And so even though this is my 11 year sobriety anniversary this weekend.

Even though that is the most important decision I have ever made and the best decision I have ever made in my life. Um, the work to go toe to toe with the codependency patterns and tendencies will absolutely continuously be a lifelong journey. Because it's sneaky. Self abandonment can be sneaky, especially if you're a parent. Right? Especially if you are a partner, especially if you're a friend. And I know all of you listening right now, at least have one of those things in your life. Either you are a parent or you're a child of someone. So this, this is an episode for you. And how codependency and self abandonment can be sneaky. And how it looks for you might be sneaky, and how it looks for you in different situations can be sneaky. And you know, I've been in a. A very loving, healthy romantic partnership now going on, God, over three years now, which I know a lot of you listening are like, really? It's been that long? Yes, I've been very, very private about it because it is challenging. And in romantic partnership is where a lot of my codependency tendencies show up. And a lot of that had to do with my relationship with my father, the addict. Right. And so this relationship has been very beautiful. And in relationship is where we build the muscle. Like it's one thing that you understand yourself. And I didn't date for seven years. I've mentioned that before, not one date in seven years. Because I didn't want to repeat the codependent tendencies I had, not just in the relationship I had with my father, but since I'm a heterosexual female, like I a lot of times that would show up in my romantic partnerships because of the relationship with my dad. And so I thought that kind of being abstinent in relationship, I could understand from the neck up how to avoid that. And although on paper and through my work and a strong recovery program and, you know, tapping into myself and self awareness and putting the reps in every day. Although I understood very clearly my part and my side of the street in all my partnerships and all my codependent trend tendencies, not just in romantic partnership, but as a parent, as a friend, all the things, you can't really build that muscle until you're in relationship. And so it's been in this beautiful. Oh my gosh, so great. I love him so much. It's been in that relationship that the real work on understanding, integrating new tools to not fall into my codependent patterns. And here's the thing about that self abandonment, a lot of times we'll do it because we think we're being a better partner or a better daughter or a better son or a better friend. But what we do when we self abandon is actually we enable and rob other people of helping them and a stronger journey. So when I look back at like let's just say the relationship with my ex husband, I. My codependent tendencies in that relationship is very different than any other romantic partnership. I think that's probably why that relationship lasted 14 years. I could play the hero in that one. Whereas with my dad and all the other romantic partnerships, I was kind of the very submissive, accommodating, codependent. Right. So like you can have different kinds of codependency and self abandonment. How I self abandoned myself, being the hero would be like not taking any accountability, not.

Being in my feminine energy at all in that marriage at all. But in the other romantic partnerships, including at the beginning of this one, a lot of times that codependency and that self abandonment came in the form of being overly accommodating and overly accessible. And it was robbing not just me and not just like the, the joy that you can come, that you can have in, in a relationship, but I was also robbing my partner. And it was one of those kind of the, the fork in the road early on in this relationship where I caught myself and I said this to him like I can't co sign this not because I don't love you, but because I do. I can't co sign this not because I don't care about you, because I care about you a lot. And I also care about how I am in this relationship because if I go down this road, down the road, whether I put alcohol in my body or not, which I had zero plans to, and, and still to this day have no plans to, it doesn't matter. I'm going to have resentment that will take this relationship and me out of the game. And it was such a beautiful moment. I know I picked the right partner because he's super receptive to these kind of conversations and you know, he's had his own walk with codependency and how that looks in his life and in his previous marriage and all the things like that. But for you listening right now.

Self abandoning can feel like we're doing the right thing or we're being a good partner, friend, daughter, parent, whatever. And when we do this, this is probably the hardest addiction of all to break. A lot of times we were conditioned that self abandonment got us significance or in my case, self abandonment got me more control or I thought at the time, or maybe more certainty that at least tonight my household isn't going to blow up right for you. It might be a combination of all three, but this self abandonment is robbing not just you from the life that you deserve and the life that you desire. But if, if you're a parent, I promise you this will get repeated in your lineage no matter how good a talk you do. Because our kids do what we do, not what we say to do. It is robbing you from a strong connection with whatever intimate partners you choose for your life. And quite honestly, the more you self abandon, the more you're going to attract maybe somebody who will take advantage of that. Not, not always consciously, but you know, usually somebody who's self abandoned tends to attract somebody who loves attention from somebody who's willing to self abandon.

And you're not helping anybody when we do this. It doesn't mean that the conflict that comes with holding true to who you are. And it doesn't mean that conflict and arguments don't happen when you draw some strong, beautiful, even the most beautifully articulated boundaries.

But you will sleep a lot better at night and you'll be able to discern what the core motive is behind everything you're doing. And that's why the enneagram is super helpful, because it allows you to streamline that even faster. And over the last few months specifically, it's been a hell of a beautiful summer, you know, with, with him and also with my kids and my friendships. It's been a beautiful, beautiful connection filled very, I've been very present with my people kind of summer and you know, true transparency, although I've enjoyed and savored every second of it and, and feel so like, so loved and so supported and that the even energy and exchange and all of that has been so freaking good. I've in the past lived in extremes. Like if I'm doing that, if I'm super, uber, super duper present here, oh my gosh, I'm going to be dropping the ball somewhere else. And this is where understanding myself and the discernment, am I sabotaging? Am I what am I doing here?

Or am I taking this very well intended break so that I can come and serve the way that I'm supposed to for this time, for a time like this. But it's been very uncomfortable. Even as present and as filled with joy and love as I have been the last few weeks, it has also been some of the most uncomfortable six weeks of my life. I'm usually somebody who in Order to grow has had to do it out of chaos or blowing up my life. And there was none of that. It felt like my life was blowing up in this beautiful, loving, joyful, filled season. I'm not gonna lie, you know, for a lot of you that may be the case. Like it's why you are workaholics, because the quiet is so uncomfortable. I can be a workaholic. I have been most of my life. I'm the girl who goes back to work 13 days after giving birth, for crying out loud. You know, like, I don't do well in quiet typically. And instead of judging it where there were moments that I did.

I loved myself through it and I leaned in instead of leaning out. And it was, it became a season of solitude rather than a season of isolation. And in solitude we don't self abandon. And in a season of quiet, it doesn't have to be where you go down a dark side or we blow up our life or. And there were moments, let me tell you, over the last six weeks that I really was like, God, I know I'm pretty self aware of shit. I teach this stuff, but is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? And thank God I'm a strong woman of faith and, and trust, God, God of my understanding and what that looks like for me. And like I said, having the right people in my life who I can be radically vulnerable with and, and get messy with.

I'm still like, am I sure this is like discernment or am I, or am I blowing up my life there? Every morning I wake up and ask myself that. But this is the gift of recovery of any sort. And a lot of the people that come to me professionally, personally hire me. You know, a lot of times it's like I've got this issue going on in my life or I've got this going on in my life. And almost every single time, when we peel back a few of the layers, usually about four or five or six or seven deep, is the self abandonment piece at the core. At the core. And we trace back where that came from so that you don't have to continue the cycle. You can, you know, have the same package, continue to show up. It might come up in, in different wrapping paper, right, which my self abandonment kept showing up. Different wrapping paper, different expression, but it kept showing up. And this is the beautiful work that we do when we lean into somebody that not only has the life experience that I do, this is the joy and the gift of being almost 52 years old now. Is I have a lot of life experience. And it's the. That a lot of people that maybe you've hired or courses you've taken can't take you to the, the depths of those levels. And, and the reason why I know I'm so made for this is because I continuously do this in my own life, in my own personal self, daily. You know, what we have as daily reprieve that's contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. That is, if I, if I got nothing else from recovery, that, that is the foundation of me waking up every day, making the choice that no, my spiritual condition, the maintenance of my spiritual condition is the foundation of everything that I do so that I don't self abandon, so I don't enter into relationships that aren't what's best for me or them. So that I can not only be the great guide for my kids, my adult children, but do it in a way that doesn't rob them of their confidence and their ability to grow and thrive in their own life. That I can be a loving partner that is equally feminine and masculine when needed. Right. Without.

Blowing up my life in order to get there. Right.

These last few weeks, being quiet has been very hard.

And I've missed you. I've missed you. I've missed talking to you. I appreciate a lot of the messages I've gotten and a lot of you going back down into old episodes and pulling them up because you've said you've missed some, some of the lessons. I know that I haven't just been quiet on the podcast, I've been quiet in social media as well. My circle has been very, very small and very, very tight. And not many outside of that circle I have engaged conversation with.

Because I know I've been in a cocoon season. My good friend Aisha, she has a podcast called It's Butterfly Season and I've been in a season of cocooning. And I feel a fire in me that is way different than anything I've felt before. I don't know exactly how it's gonna look. I don't know exactly how it's gonna play out here on the podcast. I don't know exactly how it's gonna show up on social media, but I'm fired up and it kind of scares me a little bit. I'm not gonna lie, the vulnerability of that, because I know once I go, I don't half ass anything. And once I see the door cracked open, I kick through it. Those that love me and that I love know that that to be true. Like I won't tell you what to do, but if you crack open the door and, and ask for my help, you're going to get it and you're going to get it very passionately. And I'm feeling that coming on what that looks like to serve you, listening to serve you, that follow me, to serve those of you that have been on this journey with me in the online space for the last over 11 years now.

You're gonna get what you need from this version of me that is coming again. I don't know what that looks like and it could change day to day. I can feel in my body right now the vulnerability, hangover that's coming. And you know, because now I've put it out here into the world. It was really easy when I wasn't hitting record and kind of just taking notes and writing about what I wanted to bring to the table for, for you guys. But now that I have put it out into the universe and out to you, into the airwaves and into the hearts, into the ears of those that have chosen to spend time with me here on this podcast. I've seen how.

Life works when I do this. It is how I called in the partner that I'm in relationship with. It is how I called in the the first business of this decade that has produced over $5 million. It's how I have called in the mentors and the people that I have been blessed to work with over the last decade. Shit's about to get very, very real here on this podcast. And however you choose to learn from me. That being said, I know that many of you have had it on your heart to do some work with me. And you know, I have tried to find ways that I could serve you that was more cost effective, maybe more time effective for you. So I'm going to talk about two ways to kind of dive in deeper with me. Number one, learning how we all self abandon, not just you, but maybe the people in your life, the people that you love, the people that you parent, the people that you lead. I know a lot of you are entrepreneur entrepreneurs and coaches of some sort. Learning about other people that are wired differently than you in a group setting is number one, the most realistic holy crap moments of how you learn about other people in your life. Even if the people in the group setting aren't your people. In fact, it's easier for you to not hold back when you are in a group setting. And so I have group workshops once a month. The next one is October 2nd. So in about a week and a half, you'll get three hours of time with me in a group setting with people just like you, but also very different than you. We'll talk about the Enneagram and how that comes into play. You don't have to know your Enneagram type to do it, but it's super helpful and you'll get more kind of hot seat, one on one kind of hybrid coaching. If you have done my blueprint, because I will know exactly that you are typed accurately, I'll have your try type and be able to help you with the wings and all the components of your Enneagram type so that you can take that information and integrate it much easier in your life. Like these last six weeks, especially as I was kind of moving through all this stuff, thank God I understood not just me as an enneagram8, but all the tools and components that are attached to me as an enneagram8, especially my tri type, my other centers of intelligence and how they were playing out. If you have done a blueprint, you'll have that and we can talk about it in the workshop. If you haven't, we offer it at a discounted rate. When you sign up for the workshop, I highly recommend you doing it even if you've done a one on one session with me or you've listened to this podcast past for a long, long time, or even if you think you know the Enneagram inside and out. I tell you this with true, true, true like testimonies from people that every time I talk about it, you learn something different. And it's a very low cost to learn, very low cost. Now if what I have talked about today or things that you've heard me say in the past, you know we're coming into the season that this is where most of us, all of it comes to a head. It's no surprise to me why my sobriety date is this weekend and the anniversary of me making this decision decision was this time of year. And that's because we're amping up into the end of the year and holidays and everything that we have been kind of shoving to the side and shoving to the side and sweeping under the rug. All of a sudden it's coming to a head this time of year and going into the holidays. It is my busiest season between now and January 1st is when I am busiest working with people because of this very thing. So I, I strongly encourage, if you have ever wanted to work one on one with me, now is the time there's two ways either a one minute or a one one off session. 90 minutes, which is super powerful.

You don't need an application to do that. You can just go to Tracey O' Malley.com and sign up and do that. You also get enneagram typed in that. And even if you've already done the enneagram typing and you need a refresher that is always available to you. But having me in your back pocket for three months is some of the most valuable in real time, real shit situations. It's kind of like having a phone, a friend on speed dial. But that friend is me and that friend is me. With compassion, with love, with strategy, with.

Love, with.

Advice, with wisdom, with guidance, without judgment and with every area of your life. We talk personal, we talk professional, we talk parenting, we talk sex, we talk intimacy, we talk money, we talk all the things because we are holistic beings. The one on one approach I take to coaching is the full spectrum of who you are, men or women. I work with all. I work with everyone.

At every season of their life. I work with Gen X people like me. I work with millennials, I work with Gen Z, I work with baby boomers.

This is the beauty of being the age that I am. I've experienced a lot of life and used the tools that not only I teach, but help you with through every area of my life. To have one on one coaching with me for a three month period of time, like I said, it's having me 247 on speed dial. And that comes with an application because you may want it, but you may not be ready for it. And I want to be clear that you are ready for it because it's not for the, the faint of heart. Because we will go through every area of your life. And if you're like me, I know I have at least one area of my life that I don't like to, you know, pull back the curtain for everybody to see. So I understand how vulnerable that is. And so that is by application only. I only have a few spots for that because it is very intensive and I give you my whole self in that kind of setting. You get me fully. And that is by application only. You can go to Tracy O' Malley.com the work with me section. And I know I've, I've seen people transform their businesses. One of my previous clients, when she started working with me, she had left a huge company and started on her own two years before and was really struggling with it. And you know, we broke down her enneagram type. And we dove deeper into who she was as a woman, as a mom, as a partner, as a friend, as a business owner. And what she did that year in her business.

Ridiculous, like, grew up by, I think it was 800% big, big time. And has gone on to make multiple millions of dollars in our time together. What I've seen people do in their marriages and their intimate relationships as parents, a lot can be done in a short period of time. Three months. Although it feels like it goes on forever, it is actually a very short period of time. And the accelerant of transformation that happens in that kind of work with me, it's my best work. It's the work I'm most proud of. It's the work that nobody sees. It's the work that is not glamorous for me or for you, but it is the work that matters. And so if you've ever felt called to work one on one with me in relation to what else is out there.

I'm grossly underpaid for what I have done and.

I have been told I should raise my rates, but I'm just not going to do it. Not yet at least. But if you've been called and felt called to do that work with me, go fill out an application@traceeomalley.com the work with me section, and we will go from there. I'm a little rusty, you guys. This was not an easy. Probably hard to listen to too, I'm sure. I feel like I've been all over the place, but I'm confident that I've been divinely led to this moment. I've got some incredible episodes and interviews and opportunities for you, the listener, to be on the podcast coming up. But today I really wanted to kind of get back in it with you. I feel like we are sitting on the couch in our sweatpants and messy buns and, and just getting raw and real with each other. And thank you for being patient for this 40 minutes as I kind of get back on the bike here and allow you into the most innermost thoughts of me that I know that can serve you at a higher, higher level. I've missed you. I'm grateful for you. I'm honored to be here and to serve you. If you love this podcast, it's going to, it's going to take, it's, it's going to get big this year. I know it like, bigger than it is. And you know, the more that you can share this with people, if, if I've made a difference in your life at all. Share this. Tag me. Let me know. Slide into my dms. Let me know what you're gaining from my podcast, what you'd like to see from the podcast. If you want to tell me this episode sucked, you can do that too. I know it probably wasn't my best because it's. I feel nervous and messy and vulnerable right now because I feel like I've been letting you down, quite honestly, for the last six weeks. Not pouring into you. But you know, I needed to do it. I needed to do it so that I can serve you at a higher level. If I had showed up these six weeks, that would have been a form of self abandonment and I can't do that. I can't. I can't talk the talk if I'm not willing to walk the walk. So I love you guys. Share this episode Tag me I'm on Instagram at Tracey Underscore o'. Malley. I will end this messy.

Very vulnerable form of who I am right now. Thank you guys for loving me.

I'm excited to go into this 11th year of sobriety and recovery stronger than ever to be able to guide you, to lead you, to love you exactly where you are and help you go where you were always designed to be. We'll talk soon, you guys. I love you.

I'm so happy happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast.

Please help us spread the word about.

This show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level.

RA.