EP360: Understanding the WHY behind your procrastination and how to break the cycle of it.

I would say procrastination is probably one of the number one things that come up for every single person I've ever worked with, whether they're the CEO of a company or a powerful influencer, or a mom or a dad. Procrastination is one of those things that really, really frustrate each and every one of us, and none of us are immune to it. I don't care how successful you are. They this is going to come up and in this episode, we're going to dive into why that might be for you and why understanding your Enneagram type can really help you move through this a lot faster. With kindness, with compassion, and why, you know, help me helping you might be different than me helping somebody else. With understanding that you have to understand the why behind you, behind what you do in order to change it from happening. Especially if it's something that's super duper frustrating for you. In this episode, I help you kind of stop the cycle from happening as much. Because after all, we're all humans. And as you are on this growth journey, new levels will bring new awarenesses around certain things that you're afraid of. And my hope is that you take this and use this gently in your life so that you can step into who you were always designed to be and have everything you desire, everything you deserve. So. So let's dive in.

Okay.

I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life. Personally, professionally. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership. Sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool, I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life. Instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be A complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective, and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, and as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career, and relationships. So now let's dive in.

I think that this is a conversation that many people have, and it's very frustrating and, you know, as high achievers or people that want to do great things in this world, in their homes, out in business, that the subject of procrastination is like the thorn in everyone's side. We all do it, we all have a form of it. But getting to the root of why we do it, what that is for me versus what that is for you, the why behind it, that's where the true breaking of that cycle, or at least limiting it. Let's just be real. We're human beings and, you know, new levels bring new devils, and new things will come up for us that may have this pop in from time to time. But if we can meet it with compassion, with grace, with understanding, with, hey, we're freaking humans. This may allow us to break the cycle or not be stuck in it as long. One of my clients, the. The. The reason I'm doing this podcast is, yes, it comes up a lot. I work with, you know, big companies and CEOs and influencers, you know, behind very big brands. Nobody's immune to this. And one of my clients was asking me, like, why am I doing this? Is this a enneagram 7 thing? Is this an enneagram 5 thing? Like, I want you to know it's a thing for all of us. And usually what happens at the root of procrastination is our biggest fear or vulnerability is kind of being nicked or about to be exposed or. Or we can feel something brewing like that, right? And when that is happening, we go into some of our defense mechanisms, we go into our stressor number on the Enneagram and how that plays out for each of us. And the why behind that for each of us is very, very different.

Right. So I wanted to talk to you guys today about, like, how to identify why it might be happening for you. And I'm going to preface this by saying, like, giving you the why behind maybe why you procrastinate is not permission to beat yourself up more. I think in this land of personal development.

Kind of brings new awareness to it, and you might Even think sometimes that this was a lot easier not being as aware, right? There are times I say this too. It was way easier sometimes to be ignorant, on fire. But that is only in the short game, right? For the long game, no, it isn't easier. It's way, way harder. Right? So this is not permission to beat yourself up more. This is meant to serve as a compass, to serve as.

Gentle, compassionate awareness. Because compassion is the key to our growth. Compassion is the key to joy, happiness, fulfill, fulfillment, purpose. Shame serves zero good in this. So I want to preface what I'm about to tell you that this is not a permission slip to annihilate yourself. And I know some of you do that more than others. Some of you numb it, right? And we're all human here in this thing. So why procrastination? Why procrastination might happen for each of us. I wanted to kind of very briefly touch on each of the Enneagram types and why that might be for you. This is why understanding your accurate type is really, really important. You can go get your blueprint today. Where my assessment is over 95% accurate. The online ones are not. This is also why I do monthly group workshops too, because this is a beautiful, beautiful way to learn about your type. Other types, where we go in growth and stress in real time. It's a beautiful. These are two really effective ways to learn more about this and instead of just seeing it. But anyway, the Enneagram one, why they might procrastinate. You know, they're known as the perfectionist, right? And if they feel like they are wrong or not good or things aren't exactly like they're black and white believers and thinkers. And if that's not happening, their biggest fear is not being good or right. And so a lot of times they'll procrastinate, obviously, because if it's not perfect, they're not good. And sometimes that can play out very emotionally and dramatically. And they all of a sudden can become very self absorbed because their whole worth is tied into that. So that procrastination may come up because of that. And so you know when, when you can start to identify, oh, my biggest fear is looming or brewing or about to be exposed, this is how this comes up. So that's what that. What's. That's what that might look like for an Enneagram one. For an Enneagram two, their biggest fear is not being loved or appreciated. And so a lot of times they'll procrastinate and start, you know, pouring themselves into Other people because that. That big need and that that biggest fear of not being loved and appreciated is there. So a lot of times they'll procrastinate what they need to do in order to have that need met. And of course, that creates a whole different set of problems, the shame spirals and things like that. For an Enneagram 3, they're probably the least prone to procrastinate. Honestly, they got other issues. I know my Enneagram Threes know this. They're probably the least likely to procrastinate. Their biggest fear is not being the best or not winning. Right? So that's why they don't typically procrastinate. They're like, go really fast. They'll. They'll be messy. They don't care as long as, like, they get there. But not being the best, it may prevent them from doing certain things that are fulfilling, though. So they may procrastinate on more of a soul level than on a tactical efficiency level, because they'll make shit happen. But when it comes to doing things that are meaningful to them, they may procrastinate doing a soul project or something that's not measurable because it isn't measurable, right? So where an enneagram 3 might procrastinate looks a little bit different than the rest of us. For an enneagram 4, their biggest fear is being abandoned or not being authentic or unique. Right? And where I see fours procrastinate a lot is honoring their gifts, right? They, when they're in it, when they're in their gifts and. And they're in a zone like they can free flow. But the minute an enneagram 4 looks up at the the world, and even though they want to be unique and authentic, they realize they're very, very different. And that is your gift. Enneagram Fours. But a lot of times they'll procrastina.

Over giving with other people, throw themselves into other people, which keeps the cycle of feeling stuck because it's like they can be in a room full of people and feel very, very misunderstood or very alone or like they don't fit in. And so, gosh, when we don't have the gifts that an Enneagram for their unique, special, one of a kind gifts to the world, we're all missing out. So that's what comes up for an enneagram 4 and why they might procrastinate. For an enneagram 5, their biggest motive and fear is being equipped with knowledge and information. They want to make sure that they have all resources and energy available to them. It's why they are the investigator. Right. And their biggest fear is not being wise or having information. And so information, even though they're the kings and queens of knowledge and wisdom, sometimes with in regards to being an expert at things and very uniquely specified in certain things that analysis paralysis. You know, if they don't think they have enough knowledge, they can go down that rabbit hole and they can spin out and feel like they are getting nothing done. And sometimes they don't. Right? That's how their press procrastination kind of comes to fruition. Again, understanding that what is at the, the core fear and the core motive here will help you compassionately stop the cycle for Enneagram Sixes. Their biggest fear is not being prepared, being blindsided. Right? They need to know all the things. They need to know all the things where fives need to know information. Fives need to know systems and what could happen, what could happen. They don't necessarily need information, but they need to know what's happening out in the world and how does this affect them. And because that fear runs so deep, if they get blindsided, worst case scenario will happen. And that is their worst fear. So a lot of times they can get procrastinate by asking so many questions and they can burn out their relationships, they can burn out their own bodies, for crying out loud with this incessant need for I need to know, I need to know, I need to know, I need to know. And then paralyzing themselves if they don't feel like they have enough information. Right? That's where the, where this is rooted for Enneagram Sixes for Enneagram Sevens. My client that I was referring to at the beginning of this.

Episode, she was procrastinating, doing something really special for her business and her brand. And it was something that she's always dreamed of and she was beating herself up. She's like, why am I procrastinating this? And at the root of an Enneagram 7, their biggest, biggest fear is loss of freedom, loss of options. They want to know that everything is available to them at all times. And sometimes and any of gram 7 will procrastinate doing something they're really brilliant at because they believe if they do this too well or if they do this, they're boxing themselves in to something that if they want to change their mind or switch it up, they might be too in deep and too locked in that they can't get out. And even though they're successful and even though it might Be fun temporarily. Sometimes they think too long game because they're futuristic thinkers, they're visionaries after all, that they may procrastinate the very thing that they can enjoy right now because they believe down the line they might be handcuffed by that. So the key with an enneagram7, if this is you, is like, let's enjoy this moment for right now. And here's the thing. You at any moment can change your mind, no matter how great you are at something, right? And in fact, understanding this for a short moment of time might create long game freedom and options. That's how I help Enneagram Sevens with this. Procrastinating something that even something they're really excited about. For Enneagram Eights like myself, I procrastinate a lot. And I'm in a season of this. And I am, you know, walking my talk here because I.

Know that this is a really vulnerable time for me. I'm doing really cool things. And why an Enneagram 8 will procrastinate and kind of go MIA is because they're putting themselves in a vulnerable situation. Putting themselves in a vulnerable situation can have their biggest fear come to fruition, which is betrayal and violation. And so it's easier to hide behind the walls in their 5 cave, right? That's the stressor number for the Enneagram 8. It's way easier sometimes to hide in that. That isolation in that five cave where it isn't as vulnerable. It feels very freaking lonely, I'm not gonna lie. And it feels very frustrating at times because Eights know that they are powerful beyond measure. And especially when they are in a healthy, loving, integrity filled place, their power and their leadership skills are unmatched. And I know this about myself, and I know what I'm doing. And the things I'm putting out in the world are very vulnerable. The things I want to do that I'm procrastinating about are very vulnerable and put a target on my back. Not that I am afraid of conflict, because I'm not. But the betrayal, the violation that will come with that is something. And so I'm meeting that with compassion and empathy. And instead of leaning out, I'm leaning in. But understanding what's at the root of that. In the past, oh my goodness, would I annihilate myself and say horrible, horrible things to myself, which would then have me numb out those hard feelings, which then would have a cycle of chaos and destruction and blowing up my life? Right. You can see how this compound effect can take root and that's why understanding what's at the core root of this is really, really important. And for nines, their need for procrastination or their reason behind procrastination comes in their desire for harmony and peace, right? Their biggest fear is not having that. And a lot of times Enneagram nines will because they're very instinctual, they're an instinctual triad. So they're very much what is happening right now. And their, their fixation on what is happening right now will allow them sometimes to settle for short term harmony and create long term problems, which is that procrastination and then their backs up against the wall and then they have resentment. But understanding as an enneagram9 that you know, yes, I understand your need for harmony runs very deep. But you're going to create long term problems here and actually long term dishar if you don't take action now. Now these are just the, the, the tip of the icebergs, right? But this is super helpful to know that at the core of whatever your procrastination is, is super helpful in not having the cycle continue on too long. Not having, you know, the shame spirals come, the anger, explosiveness, the isolation, the numbing, whatever that looks like for you might be a little bit of all of it after all. But really understanding what's at the core of it will through it with compassion, with empathy, with grace, with kindness, with love, a lot faster instead of the, the guilt, shame, unworthiness, ego, anger, whatever that looks like for you. Now how can you really get fine tuned in this? Obviously having a guide, just knowing this is super helpful. But until it's like being part of the practice squad, you have to practice this over and over and over and over again. And even somebody like me who teaches this, who's been integrating it for well over a decade now, if I don't practice this myself, I can get in a spiral myself.

So it takes practice. And having a guide help you absolutely will make this streamlined and accelerate that transformation a lot faster. There are a few ways you can do that with me. Obviously getting the right information is key. If you just want to start there, go get your blueprint. Like I said, you will get typed accurately. You'll have the right information. So this will become more valuable to you. You get your 75 page customized blueprint, which is basically your roadmap to understanding yourself at a deeper level. It's not a label at all. It's not like permission to stay stuck. It's not permission to be a jerk out in the world. It's not permission to play small, right? It's actually here to guide you to who you are always designed and called to be. If you want more intensive, you can do a one on one session with me. I'm the back pocket Yoda for a lot of powerful brands and businesses out there. If you want me to be in your back pocket too, you can apply to do that as well. But this is something that takes practice. It is one thing to understand and this is the problem I have with personal development. This is why, you know, the second episode of the week will always be about how do we integrate this beautiful information in the world. And that is what I am committed to here in this world. I'm not just here to scream information from the rooftops and send you on your way. Yes, I want you to have the right information. Yes, I want you to understand it. But important, I want you to have the integration of this information, equal transformation in your life. You can do that here on the podcast. And if you want deeper, more intensive help with that. You know where to find me. You can find me on Instagram at traceomalley. You can go to my website, traceyomalley.com where everything.

Is available there for how I can help serve you best. But in the meantime, I really want you to be gentle with yourself. Procrastination is protection. Originally it can create bigger problems in your life, obviously, but that first hit of procrastination is a form of protection. And when we can understand where this is rooted from again with compassion and kindness, we can move through it and heal and create new systems and tools in our life that allow us to be who we were always designed to be and step into that calling that's on your life personally and professionally. I know this episode is going to help many, many people. So if you loved it, please share it with somebody. If you do share it on social media, give me a tag so that I can love on you. And thank you properly for, you know, spending your time here with me. And next week, look, I look forward to bringing you enneagram 101 episodes at the first part of the week where we will give you information on what the Enneagram is and all the different components that make up this beautiful, powerful, amazing tool that I help thousands of people all over the world use to transform their lives personally and professionally. So I'll see you in a few days. You guys. I appreciate you.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show. By sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level.