EP373: Enneagram 101 - Exploring the Underlying Emotions of Enneagram Centers of Intelligence

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you.

You need to know all about it.

So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy and to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding.

Of how to help you implement this.

Into your life instead of it just.

Being some fun thing you heard about.

The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate.

Way and then help you lead others.

That way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, and as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And this is one of those enneagram101 episodes that kind of give you informational nuggets around the Enneagram. And on Thursdays we talk about how to integrate all the beautiful gifts that come with your understanding of the Enneagram. It is the number one super tool out there, in my opinion, that accelerates transformation, growth, communication, culture, joy, peace, all the things. It's why I am so passionate about helping people just like you learn about the Enneagram and then show you what to do with it. Because honestly, I. Information doesn't equal transformation. It is what we do with it. And today I wanted to talk about a really important part of the Enneagram and this can help you really discern if you're struggling to understand yourself, even if you are correctly and accurately typed on the Enneagram, or as you are starting to try to figure out where people that you Love and lead fall in the Enneagram. And I talk about the centers of intelligence a lot because if you understand nothing else and you don't ask people about the Enneagram or things like that, this is what I did for five years, is my. My main understanding and my main.

Point that I wanted to figure out was where people fell in the centers of intelligence. Because once you have that, you can make a lot of headway. And even just knowing that will allow you to be a more effective communicator in all areas of your life. But today I wanted to talk about the underlying emotions.

In each of the centers of intelligence. And this might help you understand this a little bit more. And if you aren't familiar with the centers of intelligence, go back about a week in my podcast and I did an episode basically explaining what those are. The centers of intelligence are the three centers that house the nine Enneagram types, right? So within each center of intelligence, there are three Enneagram types. We have the gut or instinctual center. We have the heart or feeling center, and we have the head or thinking center. And depending on where your core Enneagram type falls is where you go to into your default center of intelligence. We do use all three. Right? But where you go first, where you go by default, is where your core Enneagram type that doesn't change is housed. And there's an underlying emotion that is tied to each of those and what that looks like and how that gets expressed. The under. The emotion that dominates each center of intelligence is connected to their primary focus of attention, their primary motive, and their primary fear. So in the instinctive or gut center, you have the 8, 9, 1, and they focus on resisting reality a little bit, which means they're frustrated or angry, and that's their underlying emotion. And I'll get into this. The feeling centers. The feeling centers, the 2, 3, and 4 enneagram types focus on significance and self image. And so their kind of underlying emotion is shame, the thinking center or the head Center. The 5, 6, and 7, they focus on safety, security, and their underlying emotion is fear or anxiety. Now let's go back to the gut, the body, the instinctual center, the eights, nines and ones. All three are motivated by a form of independence, autonomy, and control. They're very what is happening right now and what do I need to do about it? Right? And whenever they feel or believe that their core motive and I, you know, if you haven't listened to the centers of intelligence episode from last week, go listen to it, because what Independence, autonomy and control. Means for all three of these types can look a little different. But let's just say we're focusing on centers of intelligence, right? Independence, autonomy and control. Their biggest fear is that being taken from them, right? And if any of these three types feel that is about to be compromised, exposed, any of that's going to happen. Anger is the underlying emotion. This is also why a lot of people are mistyped in certain centers, right? And how this can look when we're in a process of stress or even growth. It may not be as apparent, but once you have your core accurate type, and if you haven't gotten your blueprint, go get it. Go to Tracy O' Malley.com to get that because it's accurate. Once you understand what your underlying emotion is when you're triggered and it's popping up, you can regulate that really, really quickly and use it more effectively because these emotions are important. Okay? So for the instinctual center, it is anger, anger, anger, anger. And this is why a lot of people are mistyped or we assume we have an eight in front of us. Because for the eight, that anger is pretty obvious, right? And just because maybe you have anger doesn't mean you're an eight. Okay. And doesn't necessarily mean you're an eight, nine, or one. But when that comes out for an eight, it is pretty obvious. It's more explosive, it is more external. Now, how that anger comes out in a nine, which is, you know, if you're a nine or, you know, or love or lead a nine, you're like the adaptive peacemaker. Their underlying emotion is anger. Yes, yes, it is. But how that gets expressed is very, very different. The underlying emotion when an enneagram9 feels like their independence, autonomy, control is about to be compromised or that you're trying to box them in, how they show up in anger is through procrastination, selective hearing, stonewalling or passive aggressive kind of anger, right? Very, very different. Now for the Enneagram one, when they feel like they are out of control. Independence, autonomy, all that stuff. And again, it looks really different for each one. How their anger is expressed or manifests is through critical, critical words, critical thinking, resentment. A lot of times an enneagram one keeps that internally until they can't take it anymore. And so when you know what your enneagram type is, I know because I'm an eight, I know that my underlying emotion, my default emotion, is always anger. It is now before I pop off on it or react to it. And because emotions really can run the show if we're not understanding what's happening. And this is why understanding the underlying emotion is really, really important. So those of us that fall in this instinctual or gut or body triad, I know when I'm angry, and I know that means, like, my biggest fear is being compromised in some way. And so before I do more damage with that anger, I can use it in a healthy way, right? And manage it and regulate it and use it to slow down a little bit. Now for the heart center of intelligence, the twos, the threes and the fours. All three are motivated by some form of significance. Again, how that looks for a 2, 3 and 4 is going to be very, very different.

Their biggest fear is not being significant, right? And. And again, what that looks like a little bit different. When they feel that is about to be compromised or.

Imposed upon or taken from them in some way, their underlying emotion is shame. And you might be thinking, if you are a three or love or lead a three, they don't appear to have very much shame, but it's there. Now for the twos. They are usually not always a little bit more external with that shame. When you are with a two, that they feel like they've let you down, which robs them of their significance or, you know, they don't feel loved or appreciated, they can kind of wear that more on their sleeve. Again, not all Enneagram twos, but they are more likely to. Lord knows they feel it. And can all my enneagram twos be like, hell, yeah, it's the truth. Like, they feel it, and they feel it really deep. Now, how that shows up for an enneagram 3, when they aren't significant by what they do, what they achieve, or how they appear out in the world, or if they feel like they're not going to win or not be the best, they can get angry and because they feel shame, right? So this is why it's important. Like, that anger might be there, but the underlying emotion, the root of the emotion is shame. The thing with threes is they don't like to show it to the world. They don't like to feel it. They don't want to be slowed down by it. So they shove it down just like the nine, shove down the anger a little bit and how it comes out a little bit differently. How three deals with that underlying emotion of shame is to like, let's go win something else, or let's go kick ass, or let's go go set another goal. It doesn't mean the shame's not there. They're attempting a bypass, but it's still there. And I know all my threes listening right now, whether the world knows this about you or not, you know it to be true. And it's an indicator of, oh, I'm putting so much weight in this kind of significance in my life. Right? Again, it's permission to pause. That permission to pause is really important when we're under understanding these underlying emotions.

And in the final center of intelligence, we have the head or thinking center, right? And these three types, the five, six, and sevens, they are motivated by a form of certainty, right? And what certainty means to all three of these types is very, very different. Now, if they feel like they. That is about to be compromised or robbed or imposed upon or intruded upon their feelings, their underlying emotion is fear or anxiety. Now, whether or not they're showing it to you, you can feel it, you know, just like you can feel anger and shame if you. If you are pretty emotionally intelligent. I think out of all the underlying emotions, the fear one and the anxiety one, is the most easily picked up on. Energy, like, you can kind of feel it. You may not be able to pinpoint what that is, but. But it's pretty evident when it's there. Now, how that looks and how that comes out and manifests for the 5, 6, and 7, again, looks very, very different because you might look at, like, a five who seems cool as a cucumber, like, right? They don't show a lot of emotion. They have the ability to disconnect from emotions. That is also their form of bypass if they're not careful. It's their gift and also their kryptonite. But how A5 deals with their fear and anxiety is by internalizing it and shutting it down, right? They internalize it like a 1 internalizes their anger. They internalize it like a 4 does in the significance center. Right. Fours internalize that shame. Fives internalize that fear and anxiety, and they kind of become even more introverted or more of a hermit. You might not see or hear from them when they're in this, but it's there. And I know all my fives. It's like they have a thousand tabs open, and that overwhelm can create that fear and anxiety if they believe they're not certain about having enough information, resources, and knowledge. Now, sixes, fear and anxiety is a little bit easier to pick up on. Like, you can feel it. Whether or not they're vocal about it is tbd, right? But most. A lot of sixes, especially if they're fear of certainty and you're about to, you know, blindside them or you're withholding from them or you're not following through with something. This is when the fear and anxiety kicks up a notch. For an enneagram 6. Their biggest fear is being unprepared, right? And that fear and anxiety also, if they feel like they, they are going to be blindsided or that certainty is about to be rocked, this can cause a paralyzing effect for an enneagram6. And I think with sixes you can feel it, you can feel it, you may not know what to do with it, you might even judge it, right? But again, going back to the core motive, the core focus of attention for each of these centers of intelligence, this is really important to understand.

And finally, the underlying emotion for the enneagram7 is also fear and anxiety. And you may not think it by looking at them because they, you know, the enthusiastic visionary, they're like woohoo. They're fun, they are, you know, rose colored glasses, they are what's the best that could happen kind of people. But they still feel fear and anxiety and their need for certainty comes in the form of freedom and choices. And if like they want all options available to them. So if they feel like that's about to get compromised in any form that internally creates fear and anxiety, sometimes you will see that and I'll explain that in a second. But most of the time when they feel that hit of fear and anxiety that they chase something more exciting, more fun, more light hearted, it is their form of the bypass of this underlying emotion of fear and anxiety. Now where we can have overlapping emotions. And this is why all those online assessments that you might have taken are inaccurate. Because depending on your state of mind where you're at when you take these assessments, they don't take a lot of this stuff into consideration. Mine does and I'll get to that in a second. But when we are in a process of growth or stress, how these emotions play out.

And it can look like you're in a different center, this is why it's really important you get more curious about your questioning. Again, go back and listen to the centers of intelligence question because if you know nothing else, right, it's going to be really, really cool for, for you to be able to see, ah, I see what's happening, I see what's happening. But like if you know the growth and stress numbers, this is why like for me, when I'm under stress, I kind of disintegrate towards a 5 so you might not see my anger. I'm very quiet. But I might be in fear, which I absolutely am. And so this can look a little bit different. This is why understanding more than just your type is, is really, really cool. And when you get your blueprint and take my assessment, you get all of this information. You understand the lines of integration and disintegration, growth and stress. You understand where your wings might even come to play. But most importantly, you will understand what is at the root of this underlying emotion. And all the emotions are really, really important. I've talked about the movie Inside out before. It is such a great movie to help you put little faces and understanding and have compassion for all the emotions in the human experience, which all are very important. We might be more comfortable with some. We might default to one a little bit more. But when we can use and understand our default emotion, and we can use it like a compass rather than permission to completely lose our freaking mind, right? This is really, really important to understand what to do with it, how to use it in a way that grows you rather than blows up your life. It allows you to have a lot less damage control. It is a beautiful, beautiful thing. And when you understand this also, you will find yourself in less judgment, not only of yourself, but for each other. So what do you do with this? Honestly, I gotta say, like falling in love with all the emotions, not just the anger, right? Understanding what the emotion is for your stressor number, that has been super helpful for me. So again, using the 8 as an example, when an 8 is under extreme stress, we disintegrate towards the unhealthy parts of the Enneagram 5. The underlying emotion for an Enneagram 5 is fear. So when I'm feeling that anger, I know that I'm probably in a fear. I'm probably in some fear. And again, it. It gives you the permission to pause anytime you feel these hits of emotion rather than reacting to it. Pause. Easier said than done. Trust me, I'm easy. I'm typically easy to pop off. Not anymore, because I understand this. But this will be really, really, really important. Again, I will totally recommend you to go back to a few of these enneagram101 episodes. We will be diving more into what this all looks like in the integration episodes. Because I think these underlying emotions, when we understand what they are and we have compassion for how they affect us, this will allow us to use them for good. Okay, now, how do you go about getting accurately typed? Go to traceeomalley.com the work with me section.

You can get your blueprint. You will get your customized blueprint with accurate typing. Again, this is really important. If you love the Enneagram or you believe that it is the power tool that I know it is and maybe you are recommended this podcast by a friend and you're like, I want to know what this whole Enneagram thing is about, to use it for its best and to accelerate transformation, growth, joy, all the things that you want out of your life using this tool. You have to have the right information. And yeah, that's why I'm a firm believer of my assessment and my blueprint that I have customized for you. You can go do that. I would love to hear what you feel about these underlying emotions. I loved anger because it made me feel more in control. Now I love anger because it allows me to understand what is the real fear behind it. Right? So we can use this as a tool to help us get to the root of what's really happening so we stop repeating the things that don't serve us, that don't grow us, that don't honor the relationships that we want, that we desire, that we deserve in our lives. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Stay tuned for an episode on Thursday where I will bring you either an Enneagram hotline guest or a industry leader that I am passionate and excited about. As always, I am super grateful for you for spending your time here with me. I know you have many, many choices out there, not just in podcast land, but in Enneagram land, and I want you to know you will always find me here to help you use this tool for something beautiful in your life. As always, I'm wishing you so much love and transformation and I'll see you soon.

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Sam.