EP376: Special Episode - Bittersweet Thanks: Navigating Gratitude in Times of Hardship and Uncertainty

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy and to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just.

Being some fun thing you heard about.

The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, and as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving. Chances are that you are listening to this not on Thanksgiving, but I wanted to record.

An episode that might land on you whenever the time is right. I think that it's being released today on Thanksgiving is appropriate because I think so often we can kind of take an inventory of our life and we can look at the things that are great and then also at the same time have things that are gutting and.

Hard to understand why they're happening or to make sense of and the world we're living in. It's hard when there's so much going around, whether it's in our own lives or out in the world to.

Be thankful or you even feel guilty if you feel thankful for your life. And I wanted to kind of talk to maybe those of you that are having times of hardship, whether it's loss, it's loss of people, places, things, finances, health.

An old identity, and when you're in the place of hardship, finding the things to be thankful for. I've been there. I am not immune to having those feelings still to this day, because our reality is very real to us. And it's not selfish at all to have feelings about feelings. It's not selfish to have feelings about things in your life that you're not a fan of, you're not happy about, that you were innocent byproduct in. I'm not saying that any of those things are easy to be thankful for or to find gratitude in it. You know, I have talked to enough people in my lifetime and worked with enough people and experienced my own traumas to know that when you're in the midst of feeling the emotions of it, whether, you know, you're going through the inner work right now, and it. It may have happened or may have been something from 20, 30 years ago, but it feels very real in your psyche and in your body and in all the things right now. When somebody says, oh, everything happens for a reason, I know I want to throat punch them, right? And so I'll never say that because it's hard to make sense of really heinous shit that's happened in your own life, to you, around you, in the world. But I do know this, that everything that does happen, even the worst, most unthinkable things, we can and are able to turn into something beautiful, never something you really want to hear when you're in it. And it doesn't feel like you're ever going to be able to catch your breath or catch a break. I was thinking about this recently, you know, I've been experiencing a lot of grief from shit that isn't current in this last year, and especially the last few months. And even myself, I am having a hard time being in that higher frequency, right? Because, you know, and also I've been diving into Dr. Joe recently because it's fascinating to me. I know all of this. I teach this. I have experienced the benefits of a higher frequency of gratitude and thankfulness and all the things. And yet, because I am diving a little deeper into my work, in my inner work, right, this stuff is never done, ever. The inner work is never done. We do it till we're done here on earth, right? That's when it's done. And because I'm constantly evolving and growing and happy to do so, there's that catch that you might excavate, some things that you didn't know were there or maybe had a bigger impact than you originally thought. And it doesn't mean we didn't do the work well. Enough. But the reason I'm sharing this with you is that I'm probably the most self aware and insightful person I know. And I still struggle with this too. It's not easy. It's possible. It's not easy, but it's possible. And so if you are having the thankful struggle, and if you are.

Looking around or comparing and looking at the highlight reels on social media, I've had to kind of lay off of some of that because that can take you down into another pit, you know, of like, God, I'm a bigger asshole. Like, we can hold the. And in tandem with each other, we can be in a moment of grief and uncertainty and pain and hurt and. And we can find the beauty in that, even if it's something very, very tiny. One of the reasons why I fell in love with the Enneagram and now it's my life's work in helping you integrate it in your life, is because these moments, we're not immune to. I don't care who you are. I'm sure Tony fucking Robbins has moments where he does not want to be strong and he doesn't want to be the superhero that, you know, the world has painted him as the guru, right? He ain't our guru. We are our own guru. And what I love about the Enneagram is it really allows us to do that. It doesn't mean it's easy. It doesn't mean that we're immune. But because of my beautiful understanding of my Enneagram and the framework attached to it, like I will say this over and over and over again, we're more than just our Enneagram type. And the real beauty in helping us navigate uncertainty and challenges and hardship and tough moments. The framework is like a compass that really helps you identify what's really at the root of this. And even when it's painful, have the ability to move through it without a bypass, which is the holy grail of growth and work, is using what has gone on in our life for something beautiful without bypassing, without chasing something else, without numbing, without.

Self abandoning and self sabotaging and all of those things. And where this is rooted within your Enneagram framework is in your core fear. This is why being typed properly is really helpful. So, you know, in the midst of so much in my life that is beautiful, I have probably the best, most solid friendships with women that I've ever had in my life this last year and a half. Like bulletproof and soulful and vulnerable. I've never felt safer in those I am in a beautiful, loving partnership, relationship, romantic relationship that I've never been more myself and don't have to filter who I am, that's a first in my lifetime. I have a beautiful relationship with my children.

And there are these other excavated parts of my life, my relationship with money, my relationship with my health, that are on high alert right now. And because those are the two areas of my life that are probably the most vulnerable and go the furthest back into my story.

It'S why right now I'm as thankful as I am for all those things. I'm still really struggling, too. And the enneagram really allows me to kind of find my way back. It doesn't mean it's constant. It doesn't mean it's a box. I check. But if you are somebody that knows your enneagram type and maybe has even gotten a blueprint through me, if you are struggling right now, go back to that framework. I have been leaning on it heavily. It helps me keep me rooted in my faith as well. It's not a bypass to.

A divine source at all. It's an accompaniment to that. If you are somebody that is of faith, whether it's spiritual, I don't care what you call it. A belief in something bigger than yourself, good, orderly direction of some sort, that is a divine place accompanied with your roadmap of your soul.

This can help you.

Yeah, I felt like that maybe needed to be said for somebody today. And as we finish out the last, gosh, 40 or so days of the year, this is usually when it comes to a head. And you can hold the. And at the same time, you can have things that you are thankful for and you can be ultra sad about other things and there's nothing wrong with it. And telling yourself that other people have it worse or like that is just abusing yourself. I mean, I can look at the world and know that there are a lot of people that have it way worse than me. No question about it. And that doesn't take away from my personal reality and the reality that's happening in my body and yours, that if we shame ourselves because other people have it worse, we are going to stay more stuck and there will be deeper consequences than you can even fathom. So I wanted to offer those of you today that are struggling to find thankfulness at a time when you're going to see all the highlight reels and all the matching pajamas and all the things and people that appear to have it amazing and no problems. And that may or may not true, may or may not be true, but your reality is your reality. And I will say this, that even in the middle of grief and trauma and hardships and uncertainty and fear and all the things that you might be experiencing, there is something beautiful in there. And the frequency in which you can find that even a tiny little glimmer of hope, you know, you've heard the story of maybe the mustard seed, something like faith, as little as a mustard seed will raise your frequency and will set some things in motion. It's how manifestation works. It's how faith works. It's how gratitude works. And I know when, when I'm in the depths of it, it's hard to find that. But you must. You must. And even if it's just my voice right now, that is a reminder of that. I wanted to send you love and grit.

And strength to find it. It's required. It is. It doesn't mean that the other stuff isn't true. Right? Gratitude and thankfulness doesn't, like, bypass any of that. Gratitude and thankfulness doesn't excuse the shit that may have happened in your life. Gratitude and thankfulness doesn't make it not true. But you have to find it. And I'm saying this to myself today too, because as I am recording this, I'm about to spend the time with the people that matter most to me. And I still feel sadness.

So know that I get it. Know that I see you and know that I love you and that I'm so thankful for you, for listening in and listening to this episode. And maybe we all needed to hear this today, not just you, not just me, maybe somebody else. So if you feel like somebody else may need to hear this, share it, tag me.

Any of the things. And if you end up landing on this on a day that isn't Thanksgiving, just know that I believe that when the student is ready, the teacher, the tools and the voice appears. And if this was what you needed to hear today, then so be it. You're loved, you're supported, and I'm wishing you love and transformation in your life. Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast.

Please help us spread the word about.

This show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@traceeomalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level.

Naming.