EP379: Enneagram 101- Can the Enneagram really help me transform my life? Real talk and hell yes

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy and to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello, welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And I am doing this on a walk, honestly, right in front of the ocean.

I wanted to do an episode in real time especially. Are nearing the end of the year.

There's so many vulnerabilities that come up and one of the questions that I've been asked a lot recently I did a poll on my Instagram.

Can the Enneagram really help me? Because here's the deal. You know, the Enneagram has become trendy and although I love that there is more awareness around it, when something becomes trendy, it kind of can devalue it if we aren't hearing the right information or if it is being taught in a way that is trendy and fun, or it's being used in a manipulative way. But the fact is, is when I think back of my journey with the Enneagram and how it has helped me transform my life.

Although there are other Tools in my life, my faith, recovery, wisdom, experience, my go to that keeps me on track is the Enneagram. And it really, really help. Can help you transform your life. And so I wanted to kind of touch on the things that it can do and the things it can help you with. Number one is communication. And that starts with communication with yourself, because I think that's the most destructive communication of all. Like, I. I know it shows up in our relationships and things like that and all the other areas of our life, but the most important communication we have is the one with ourself. And even if on the outside, in your Instagram and all the things that you show the world it looks shiny and pretty, I've been around long enough and worked with thousands of people enough to know that the way that we communicate with ourselves usually is where it's in the. And the Enneagram, when you understand what is at the core fear and the core motive of everything that you do, it allows it to. It allows you to take the emotional sting and the emotional weight that that can carry. Now, does that mean it's foolproof? No. Like, you're gonna have to build this muscle for sure. But.

It absolutely helps keep me on track because my own stinking thinking can run riot. Trust me. I can be so harsh to myself. And in full transparency, I'm in probably one of the hardest seasons of my life since learning about the enneagram almost 12 years ago.

It's just. It's. It's. I'm on this cycle of, like, what am I. What am I here to do? What am I here to do? And judging myself and.

Assuming I'm, like, sabotaging myself. And each time I start, because, I mean, muscle memory is no joke. And. And I have 51 and a half years of conditioning under my belt that just because I know the Enneagram and just because I teach the Enneagram and just because I have a podcast called Lead with the Enneagram doesn't mean I'm not human. Like, this is. The beautiful thing is the Enneagram can help you remember that you're a human being. And we come by this innocently. A lot of it. Now, just because we come by it innocently doesn't mean we don't hold a responsibility to.

You know, take control and lean in and surrender and all the things. And the Enneagram can help you stay on track. And it has me.

The other areas in your life, your relationship with people, obviously, the way that you communicate with other people, your family, your romantic Partners, your friends.

Extended family members, it may help you understand people a little bit better. And I want to preface this, because if you are like me, and I know there's a lot of you like me, I mean, we either fall into one or two categories, or we vacillate between the two. We can feel like people are hurting us. Kind of victimization. I'm not minimizing anything you've been through. Please hear me on that. Or you seek to understand.

So that you can make sense of this. Especially if you've been through some horrible. Like I have. I was the understander, right? And I know there's certain enneagram types that will lean more into being the understander. And there's more Enneagram types that will.

Go into why is this happening to me? And neither are better or worse or. Or whatever, but neither are really effective fully, right? So there's one thing about understanding people, but a lot of times, if you're an understander, like I was. Am.

This is a way to bypass how we feel about certain things. And that can be hurtful, right?

I have understood things since I was a nine year old. Nine year old. Honestly, I sought to understand so much about the shit that was going on in my life that I bypassed my own feelings, my own grief, my own acceptance, transformation in that. Until, honestly, I surrendered enough, got this tool, leaned in heavy to my faith work worked a strong recovery process that I can still seek to understand. And this is where the and isn't in the and is probably the most important part of this episode. I can understand where people are coming from. And the. The enneagram really helps me with that. And it's not okay. And it hurts. And it. It's a process to get through. But when we understand and we have a tool to help us understand ourselves and why this hurts so much and validate why it hurts so much. Because we're humans, we can move through the grief process of acceptance and transformation a lot faster. Everything, you know, even good stuff. We have to grieve through a really great period in your life. Like 12 years ago, when I got sober, I.

I was happy. I was like thriving. And I had to let go of a lot of people in my life. And financially I walked away from a career, so I was grieving at my identity for over a decade in one industry, right? Grief doesn't necessarily mean it's doomsday and it's hard. It's really hard. The enneagram can help you through a grief process. Doesn't mean it Bypasses it. And in fact, honestly, I was saying to somebody the other day, you can hear the ocean in the background. You're welcome. I was saying to somebody the other day that it was a lot easier back in the day when I wasn't aware temporarily at least for the short game, you know, I, I didn't have an awareness of some of the things and it did seem easier and you know, my pain was my pain. I didn't think about anybody else I could spiritually bypass. I could do all those things. And although it did seem easier temporarily, it created long game problems. Right. So just because we understand the Enneagram and just because we have self awareness, it doesn't mean things are always easier.

It doesn't, but. And, and.

It doesn't last as long and the cycles don't repeat business. The Enneagram can help you in business a lot. And I am in Carmel or Carmel, California right now to do a workshop with a beautiful agency.

So that the people that are working together can understand each other first and foremost. They work well together, very well together and. Right. And there are ways that they could help each other more when somebody's under stress and understanding how to identify what that looks like for your people and yourself. Understanding myself what that looks like under stress has been a game changer. It allows me first of all to not lash out, to not project. Doesn't mean I'm perfect. But having an awareness and using this beautiful tool and integrity allows me to do that. And I'm living in my stress number right now.

That's the cool part about when you understand and you are accurately typed. To my website tracyomalley.com get your blueprint. Just thank me later. When you're accurately type, you have your framework that is unique to you. We're more than just our number.

Our core number is just where our motives live and our core fears. Those don't change. Those don't change. But we have a few other types connected to us that really kind of start to show up when we're in growth, when we're in stress, when we're navigating things, when we are understanding that maybe the expression of our core type isn't the right one for the job and we have these other tools to use. Right. That's why it's so important you get typed accurately and why I have created the blueprint and my assessment which is over 95% accurate. But when you're dealing with other people, especially in business and teamwork and I even talk about the home team as well here. Anytime we have to work together to accomplish something, whether it's a happy family or a thriving, successful business.

We can't do it alone. We can't. It's one of the things that I wish I could have. I wanted to for the longest time, to just be the lone wolf. I do lean heavier that way. It's not. I don't recommend. Is safer in some ways, but it is lonely and it certainly in business, it's unscalable.

But working with others and understanding who they are and with the most beautiful intent and in integrity, this is a really, really important thing. And a lot of times when people tell me, God, I wish I knew the Enneagram sooner, trust me, I do too. And here's that and word again. And I know where I was at in my life 15 years ago. I would have used this to control and manipulate. And that's not a beautiful way to use this. Right? So when we use this within business and teamwork and I speak at masterminds, I work with a lot of high level coaches and get their people typed properly so that I can be a consultant to them. When you understand your people, you understand everything. You really, really do. Now, what you do with that information is totally up to you. And again, you know, I am very, very clear on this is to be used with only beautiful intent and a win win for everyone and only to be used in the highest of integrity. It really, really is.

So. All right. Health. The Enneagram can help me transform my health as well, and yours. And I'm in this season, like I said, I'm in a weird season of stress. Not that like on the outside it looks stressful, but I know that I am in a growth season. And although growth is exciting, it's just like breaking down muscles. It hurts, right? And I have to be very, very mindful of my health when I am in a season like this. Because I isolate, I tend to go inward even more than I normally do. And understanding that's where I go, I can take contrary action. Because when I'm like this, I literally could hole up in a house and not see anybody for months. And I know with social media we can make it look like that's not the case, but it's the case with me and understanding that that's not good for my health. So I take contrary action. I do other things. Knowing this instead of judging this allows me to take the first. The next right step. Right. The next right step. What do I need to do? One thing at a Time. And sure enough, that improves my health, my vitality, the health of my relationships, which affects our overall health. So I wanted to give you a few things. Like I know as we are entering the most glorious time of the year, it is, and it can be some of the hardest, most vulnerable times of the year. I know this is an enneagram101 episode where I typically give you information, and I did. But I also want you to, especially this time of year, especially if you're feeling tender like I am, to have the information but also know how to integrate it.

Obviously, just listening to a 20 minute podcast on how it can help you transform your life.

That'S a good start, right? It is, but it's a muscle we build. Like information doesn't equal transformation, it's what we do with it. And over the last 12 years, I've been able to integrate this beautiful tool in my life every single day, in every area of my life. And I love helping people like you do the same. I really, really do. If you're listening this in real time, the minute it's released, it's not too late to join in on a workshop that I'm doing tonight about overcoming obstacles. However, if it is past that date, I do one on one sessions. I will be doing future workshops available for individuals, like a group workshop. But the first step of all is getting typed accurately. If you're going to use this beautiful tool in your life, like I said, you can go to Tracy O' Malley.com work with me section where you can get your blueprint. Today is definitely the first step in moving forward so that you don't have to be so hard on yourself.

A new, deeper, compassionate understanding of yourself. Because shame and talking shit to yourself, I promise you, it doesn't change a thing. It only keeps you more stuck. Compassion, empathy, grace. That is where transformation can happen. And when you understand that along with your enneagram type, you can really accelerate transformation in your life. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for being here for listening. You guys seem to love. I get a little more vulnerable and it's on these walks sometimes. I know it's not the most great audio or anything like that, but I don't really care because content and the really good content, the really good stuff is what's really important. I don't need a studio to bring the good stuff to you. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for listening and if you love this episode, please share it. If you found tremendous value out of the podcast, we're almost at episode 400, which is unbelievable. The podcast will be four years old at the end of this month. It would mean the world to me if you dropped a review. It's how more people get to see and listen to what we're doing here on this podcast. I appreciate you.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at tracymalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracy omalley.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

Sam.