EP385: Enneagram Strategies for Effective Goal Setting : Transform Your 2024 Desires into Reality

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news. You are in the right place.

Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding.

Of how to help you implement this.

Into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model, but with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, and as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, and I hope that you had a beautiful holiday. And this week is notorious for setting goals and getting things all situated and reevaluating, kind of how this year went. And although I'm not like big on, oh, I gotta make these New Year's resolutions and, and, and I've never been a huge goal setting person, mainly because.

We usually set goals when we're in a form of conflict or crisis internally. And although crisis and conflict usually are a great catalyst for change, sometimes the goals that we set or if we're comparing ourselves to what's happening out in our environment, on social media, in the workplace and family life, and, you know, the highlight reels and everything, we end up screwing ourselves over by creating goals that maybe aren't aligned. And I know that word is so freaking overused, but like, true to who you are is actually what you really want and is it sustainable? And so today I wanted to talk about goal setting for 2024, and really through the Enneagram lens and harnessing your strengths, uncovering your path to success, and transforming your 2024 into everything that you deserve, everything that you deserve, desire. And I'm going to touch on all nine Enneagram types because I think when we're setting goals, it's really important to understand where you might have blind spots around this so you don't end up having this pattern of setting a big lofty goal and even maybe publicly declaring it, only to find yourself 30 days in going, oh, shit, what did I just do? And then the shame, the anger, the fear, whatever that might come up for you.

And I think sometimes that it's really important to have accountability in goal setting, but also kind of keeping some of this to yourself because I think it's really important to go on this inner journey to discover why this goal is important to you. So if you are new to my podcast, new to the Enneagram, I highly suggest you go listen to a bunch of the episodes. There's almost 400 we're on number of 385. You even freaking believe that. In fact, this is the week of the four year anniversary of this podcast. And my goal with this podcast and in my teachings of the Enneagram is always about integration, because information doesn't equal transformation. I probably say that on each and every episode, but it is so freaking true. And also, information is like, cool, which is very big in this Enneagram space. Like, great, that's awesome. What the fuck do I do with it? And what's in this for me? Which takes me back, you know, over a decade ago when I was introduced to the Enneagram, like, great, no, thank you. Like, I need to know what's in this for me. So my approach to this episode and all the episodes will always be to let you know what's in it for you when you know with this beautiful information. Otherwise, like, why are we even here exploring the Enneagram, it's cool to understand ourselves, but the real magic can happen in your Life and in 2024, when you leverage who you were always designed to be and take that and run with it. But you also must understand where those superpowers can become your kryptonite, and also where you might have blind spots. And I was talking to a client yesterday about blind spots. Like, I think especially in this personal development land, we beat ourselves up when we have these blind spots because. But you know, we each have them and it doesn't make us bad or wrong or we didn't do enough work or we didn't do the work right. I mean, yes, the work is a constant, continuous process, one that never ends until we're done here on Earth. So today I really want to get into how to properly goal set for you based on your Enneagram type so that you set yourself up to have some wins, to not feel defeated and all of that. So we're going to get into the Enneagram types and how we set goals with Enneagram insights. For my Enneagram ones, my reformers, the perfectionists, you guys have a tendency towards perfection, as you know. So setting realistic and flexible, that's the key word. For my Enneagram ones, you need some flexibility within your goals and the things in which you want to do. You know, you guys are the, you know, no gray area, typical kind of people. And finding some gray area that's a great goal, is to live more in the gray area for 2024 and balancing self improvement with self acceptance. You guys can be really, really hard on yourselves. And so like, if you are loving or leading an enneagram1two, this is also really important to understand about them. If you are maybe an accountability partner or a manager or coach.

Somebody that has big influence in an Enneagram one's life. For my Enneagram Twos, the considerate helper, you guys are very genuine and generous in the way in which you give to the world. And you must prioritize self honoring and self care in those goals, right? Like, and. And I say self honoring because depending on who you are and what you've experienced, especially as an Enneagram too, care may mean something pretty dysfunctional to you. So I like to use the word honor specifically for most people, but especially for Enneagram twos because it's really important that you know your growth number is the enneagram4. So you kind of have to honor yourself first so that you can do the best helping out in the world. Setting boundaries and personal achievements is really, really important. Important. A lot of times twos will set goals that are based on other people. I want you to focus on your personal achievements and also those boundaries. When things come up that you know, your ego or your fear, your insecurities might kind of justify why you can put your goals aside. We don't want to do that Enneagram Twos because you do your best work and your most helpful things when you are honoring yourself first. Avoiding over commitment will be really important for an Enneagram, too, as well. And.

Using your words and knowing that no is a complete sentence and, yeah, you might get some pushback, and that is what is required for you to do the best work in this world. For my Threes, they are the ultimate goal setters. They're called the competitive achiever. Their kind of motto in life is, see a goal, hit a goal next, see a goal, hit a goal next, and also win along the way every single goal that they set. And especially.

I mean, the rest of us look at you and we just admire the way in which you goal set and crush them. But if you know an Enneagram 3, or you are an Enneagram 3, or YOU love an Enneagram 3, there is a price, a hefty price that they pay for doing that. Their burnout, their relationships.

It can feel lonely sometimes. So for my enneagram3, I want you to be really mindful of the way that you set goals. You will always do it. And it's really important for. For all of us to set goals, but for three, balancing those goals with your personal life, really, really important. Also, I like to tell Enneagram Threes to set a goal that isn't necessarily measurable. All the other Enneagram types, I think we'd need to have some measurement to keep us on track. But especially for an enneagram3, I want you to set goals that aren't necessarily measurable. And they. They go beyond external success and validation and recognizing and valuing those inner achievements. I have some really special people in my life that are Enneagram Threes. If you haven't listened to last week's episode with my friend Aisha, she's an enneagram3, and the progress she has made and the reckoning and the.

The. The battle that that can be for an enneagram3, that those goals that get, that have success tied to them that aren't measurable or maybe don't have the cheering section, it can be really hard for a Three, but where you find the juicy parts of your life and the people that are here to love you and support you, not because of what you do or what you achieve, but because you're awesome. All right, My Enneagram Fours, the individualist or the creative, the intense creative or the romantic.

You know, they can get in the feels and a lot of times their goals will be from a darker place sometimes, or they're riding a high of, like, the higher emotions and finding the spot in the middle that has a little bit more structure because their growth number for an Enneagram four is the one, the Enneagram one. So a little bit of structure around their goals that is realistic, that they know they'll stick to and that won't feel like they're being inauthentic because fours, they're. Their whole motive about everything is finding significance in their true authentic self. Right? So embracing their unique personal goals. If you're an enneagram4, your goals are not going to look like anyone else's. And although you really, really love that about yourself, it's also the thing that frustrates you about yourself because there's no roadmap because you're so unique, there isn't anybody that will do it like you. And that is your gift. The problem is, is a lot of times an enneagram 4 will look up and start comparing themselves and they'll quit before the miracles happen. So you have to avoid that comparison with others. You have to. That will be your blind spot your entire life. And it's okay. You need to focus on that authentic self expression and know that not everybody's going to understand it, but the people that are here to love you, lead you, support you, be with you, absolutely will. We know you're worth it. We know that you're a lot and that a lotness is what makes you awesome. And we're here for it. Enneagram Fives, the quiet specialist or the investigator, you know, yours is very tactical and analytical, typically with the goals. And a lot of them have to do with bullet points and tasks and, and expertise in some form, personally and professionally. And for Enneagram Fives, incorporating the social and emotional goals. So just like with the three that everything has to be measurable for the Fives, you know, everything is very fact driven and data driven, typically. And feelings aren't facts for fives. Right. But where you become your best self is in that emotional aspect of who you are. You will always be analytical. You will always kind of be tactical and data driven. And that's what makes you amazing. You become even more beautiful, powerful, authentic, fulfilled. When you can harness the emotional goals with this as well. Overcoming analysis, paralysis and not going down the big rabbit hole of information overload because that's when you become overwhelmed, paralyzed, and you go MIA on yourself and the people that you love. Balancing knowledge acquisition with action. Fives can be so driven by gathering information because that's where they find certainty and information, knowledge, wisdom that they aren't necessarily taking action. So using your Growth number as the Enneagram 8 will allow you to not just gather the information. Right. Information doesn't equal transformation. Enneagram Fives integration of it and that that growth number of the enneagram 8 can absolutely help you take these goals from paper to practice. Enneagram6, the loyal skeptic. You know, you have a lot of fears, a lot of times you have lots of questions and you need to know the worst case scenario and a plan to go with everything. And that analysis paralysis can keep you stuck addressing your fear and anxiety in goal setting, not kind of shoving it under. You know, sixes can be unique in some keep it totally inside and some are very external with it. And either way it is disruptive to you feeling safe and certain. So you know, call it out like, yes, I have fear and anxiety. I am a forward thinker. That is your spiritual gift. Enneagram Sixes. The reason you are the best strategists and the best collaborators and the best troubleshooters is because of your ability to think. Think forward to worst case scenario. But for you personally, it will hold you back. It will hold you back if you don't rely on faith from time to time. Your growth number is the enneagram 9 where even if you don't have all the information, trusting yourself enough to know that you are brilliant, that you are wise, that you are supported and you are prepared to tackle anything that you that comes your way. But let's call it out like, you know, you are going to be anxious. That is okay. You're human. Congratulations. Building a supportive network. Sixes are very slow to trust, right? But once they do, they trust fully. Where sixes have to be very mindful is discernment. Once you feel like you vetted your support network enough, make sure they're the right people that actually have your back. But also be a little quicker to be a little more vulnerable and trusting your own decision making at the end of the day in this process. For Enneagram Sevens, the enthusiastic visionary. Oh my goodness, do they have lots of exciting plans that might change a week later? Right? So for the enthusiastic visionary, prioritizing and focusing on key goals, you'll do all of them. Okay? Every enneagram7, I want you to know that you will crush life. You'll do everything but focusing on the key ones first. Like, okay, we're going to make a list. The thing with sevens is you want to do it all at the same time, all at once. Especially if you're bored with one of the goals you want to quickly move on to the next thing, which isn't always a bad thing, right? Especially if it isn't for you anymore. That's why it's really important to take time in goal setting. It's like, okay, for an enneagram7, specifically play like big, huge goal fun, exciting planning time, right? And before you actually start taking action on it, I want you to go to the five Cave, because that is your growth number and kind of reverse engineer briefly because I know like sounds icky for an enneagram7, but what would be required for that to actually happen? And is that part fun for you too? Or do you have people or resources in your life that will allow you to make that possible? Right, because this is where Sevens, you guys get the bad rap of, you know, don't seeing things through or you're unfocused or all over the place, right? There's nothing wrong with all your big, huge, grandiose, amazing ideas. It's why you guys are the innovators and the visionaries of the world. And you guys are so underrated, you guys. But that being said, you must kind of reverse engineer before you just throw it all up at the wall and hoping and hope something sticks. Because this will, like, chip away at your credibility. This will chip away at your crust or your trust. And the older you get, this will burn you out. So managing that impulsiveness and the distractions will be really, really important.

Embracing depth over the excitement of these interests as well. Like, go deep with this. That's why that five Cave is so important for the Enneagram Sevens, like, let's kind of pause. You guys are very fast moving. You love the excitement and the adrenaline and the energy and all of that. And you guys are the fucking vibe. Like, no doubt about it. However, take 24 hours to really go inward into the feelings, even the hard feelings, you guys, to really assess why this goal is important for you. Because when a seven has done that fact checking and soul checking first, nobody does it like you. And that's amazing. For my fellow Enneagram Eights, my active controllers or the Challengers.

Eights usually set goals that make us feel strong and powerful. Right? This last year and the episode that is coming out later this week is kind of taking this inner stuff and then how do we actually execute this out in the world? For my Enneagram Eights, I want you to know that coming up with goals that aren't necessarily intense, powerful, strong, assertive, can be really challenging because it goes against and it feels kind of Weak. It's not. This year for me has been the journey and the goal of feeling everything.

Setting, settling into it and not rushing my process, especially when it got uncomfortable and vulnerable. I know 8's biggest fear is a vulnerability. But for you to do what you are here to do and to be the best version of yourself, the most powerful version of yourself, vulnerability, compassion, and empathy for yourself and others is required. Your growth number is the Enneagram, too, so it is required. I'm not saying it's easy. It's freaking hard. It's the hardest. This has been the hardest year of my life and also the most rewarding, right? So for my eights, you have to balance this assertiveness and aggressiveness with collaboration. And with collaboration comes vulnerability. Because in order to collaborate, you have to somewhat surrender and rely with someone else. I've done more of that this year than in my entire life. And it was very hard and very exciting and very fulfilling and very uncomfortable.

And because this has been the most challenging year of my life going into 2024, it's going to be magical. It's going to be magical. And I wish that for every enneagram 8, you also have to recognize the value of the vulnerability and goals. I was on a call with my. One of my mentors yesterday and got really vulnerable in my goals. And when we were coming up with a game plan for 2024, for me, it was all revolving around vulnerability. And so for my fellow Enneagram Eights, really making sure that you are coming from a place of honor and compassion. And vulnerability will allow your goals to be something that you feel really strong and powerful about, but also really freaking great about. And finally, my Enneagram Nines, the adaptive peacemakers, you make a lot of your life about other people and creating that harmony within your environment and within and, you know, overcoming inertia. And that passive resistance will be something that is important for you in setting goals, because a lot of times you'll be like, well, whatever the collective wants or whatever makes everyone else happy is kind of where you go. The beauty of your placement in the Enneagram and your placement in this life and your gifts is the ability to see a grander perspective and to have a very unique opinion based on that ability to see the perspective of all of us. We need you to plant your flag and have your opinion and speak loudly of them. Prioritizing your personal goals alongside that harmony is what's really important for you. Because if you don't and you sweep it under the rug, although you might temporarily have harmony, which is what makes you really happy. It is not long lived. That is not the long game strategy for you. Because as you take one for the team, sweep it under the rug, resentment piles up. And when resentment piles up, a few things happen. Either lose your shit, which creates conflict, which you don't love, or you shut down completely and you have a hard time accessing, accessing who you really are designed to be, or both. And neither one of them create a long game harmony plan for you. And also like making goals where you assert yourself and recognizing your own needs. Yes, it might create conflict temporarily, but conflict can be the greatest catalyst for change. And create long game harmony, which is what you're here for. And you do it better than anyone, but not at the sacrifice of yourself and not in a form of self abandonment. So this is really, really important for you guys. Like I said later in the week, right before the new year, I will kind of go more into integration. Like, okay, great. I am making my goals based on like this authentic truth about myself. And then how do we take that? Come up with like a theme for the year. Something that we're going to stick to through the year will be really, really important. But like the. The common challenges for each of the Enneagram types, these are three common challenges that all of us will face is balancing ambition with mental health and wellness.

The importance of flexibility in goal setting, not just in our environment, but within ourselves. Just because you have declared this is your goal today, you have the right and ability and freedom at any moment to change your mind. And you don't owe anyone an explanation for it.

So I want to leave you with this right Information doesn't equal transformation. And knowing the way that you're designed, the knowing that you are not here to just operate on default, which unfortunately a lot of us do. It's why understanding the Enneagram is super helpful. Because you can see where you go to by default. But understanding the framework, the system of the Enneagram can help you live by design. And that's where you find fulfillment, support, love, abundance, success, freedom, choices. Everything that makes this life amazing. And you will have people that are meant for your journey along the way. I really invite you, if you have not gone and gotten your blueprint from me where you get accurate information for your Enneagram type, I promise you, if you've taken an online assessment, so 65 to 70% of you are mistyped, and then you're kind of using the wrong GPS system, and this won't allow you to have the transformation using this tool that you would like to do. So please go get it. Make it a great New Year's gift for yourself. We go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section. If you love this episode, share it, tag it I'm on instagram @tracy o'. Malley. I love hearing your ahas and holy shit moments that come as a result of not just gathering the information from this podcast, but what you have chosen to integrate in your life. Come back on Thursday right before the New Year. I know there's a lot going on and you know you're maybe decluttering and and all the things pop this episode that's coming out on Thursday in your ears and take it in and so you can set yourself up with a plan that will be sustainable, that will feel really good and give you the freedom to live your design going into 2024 and beyond. I appreciate you, I'm grateful for you. I'm wishing you so much love and transformation in your life and we'll talk soon.

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