EP386: Step into 2024: A Journey Towards Choosing Your Word for the year that will set your 2024 on fire

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news. You are in the right place.

Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just.

Being some fun thing you heard about.

The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way, and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, and as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I'm your host, Tracy o', Malley, and today we're going to talk about picking out that word. And if you are like me in the past, when I would see people do this, I'm gonna be really honest. I was low key judging. I'm like, oh, seriously? The same thing with, like, the resolutions that I knew weren't gonna stick. And if you haven't listened to this week's previous episode, I encourage you to do so. Because I talk about, like, goal setting in a way that is authentic and true to you, that actually serves you, that is sustainable and that is more in alignment. And I know that word's overused, but more realistic for your Enneagram type so that you can keep that momentum going throughout the year. But I'm going to be honest, this has been a hell of a year for me in all the great ways. Like, it's been very challenging Gutting hard, grieving all the things really, really challenging. And thankfully, this is the beauty of being my age, because I've lived enough life to know that on the other side of always, for a divine reason and more is always revealed now, doesn't mean that shit's fun at all while you're going through it. But I have to be very careful to not manufacture.

A way around it, spiritually bypassing all the things, because, you know, sometimes you just. We're going to keep getting the lesson delivered until we get it. And I've experienced enough of that in my life to know that I ain't playing. You fuck around and find out enough. You learn this lesson. So take it from me, we don't want to do that. And so this year has been a year of a lot of grieving, a lot of idle time, a lot of slowing down, and feeling a lot of feelings that I'm not a big fan of. Okay? And this is the thing I was telling somebody the other day, like, I have all the resources in my network. I am stacked, y'. All. And I have worked 12 years to build my network of people in every arena that literally one phone call away. I'm very blessed. But I've worked really, really hard to build that network.

Over the last decade. Plus now, that being said, even with that network and the people at my fingertips that actually could help me through that a little bit faster, I also know myself enough to know that I will try and bypass some of these hard feelings. Like, we can't grow unless we go through it, right? And I know this.

So it was probably around Thanksgiving. I was feeling myself coming out of this. I was like, all right, I've been in this feeling this. I've cried all the tears. I felt all the feelings around a lot of different things. The what isn't important in this conversation. And it was about a month ago that I was like, okay, I'm ready to tap into my resources now. And spent a beautiful weekend with one of my best friends who is also a hell of a strategist. And she also knows me very well, and I trust her immensely with my life and my business and my heart, quite honestly. And we started to get a game plan together. And then I also knew I had some blocked energy and also have somebody that is in my back pocket. She is amazing. If you want information on that, just reach out to me. I'll give you her information. She's freaking great. And wow, that was game changing. Pains in my body started to go away. The somatic Release was really, really powerful and I know how to do some of this on my own. But you know, having a guide, I'm telling you, is something that's really, really powerful. And then this last week, I finally reached out to.

Branding business strategist that we've been friends and colleagues for a decade. I respect her so much in the industry. She's a mom. She's a little bit older than me too. She's a pioneer in the digital online coaching space. Before it was every coach on a corner. She is a legend and also an enneagram 8. So I reached out to her this week and we talked about a word for the year and we talked about a lot of things in our call and a lot of words came up around who I am, what I do, where I'm going, what I need to let go of. And so I wanted to talk to you guys about the concept of getting a theme word. It's no, there's no point in doing it if you're not going to have a plan on how you're going to use this when shit gets hard or, or when you have to say goodbye to people, places and things that are no longer a part of the story or the soul contract has expired. Right? When you have to face vulnerability and you want to do what you've always done, which feels like home, but isn't going to help you thrive. It may help you survive, but maybe not going to help you move to where you say you want to go. And a lot of times, like we get into the hype of the new year and the hype of picking a word because everybody's freaking doing it and that's why I've never done it. Like I'm not going to do whatever he's fucking doing. I'm just not, which is what I love about myself, right? But I knew, I didn't give a shit how many people were picking a word. I was picking it for very specific reasons with a game plan and such a deep rooted purpose behind it. And I want to help you kind of make this process. If you're going to do this, do it, do it so it's effective for you, you know, picking a theme word that will remind you when it gets hard. It's a lot difference between. There's. There's a big difference between like setting a resolution and a theme word, right? This theme word is kind of the target you're aiming for for the long game. This theme word will help, will help you move to the next level. There's no end in sight. It's just like this gateway to what's next. Okay. A lot of times these resolutions.

They. There's an expiration date, and it's almost like a punishment. Like, anytime I've made a resolution, it felt like even though it was exciting the first few weeks, by the time February rolled around, I just felt like being punished. And that sucks. But this can. This. If you're really thought out about picking this word and then getting a game plan on how you're going to execute this, the benefits of having this and maybe telling one or two people. And if you do pick one, definitely slide into my DMs and let me know. I would love to hear how you came about your process of picking a word for the year, but it's kind of like your North Star for this time in your life, this season in your life, and I will share mine by the end of this. But one of the things that we did also on that call with my mentor, my coach, my friend, was reflecting on the past year, and this is the part where I think a lot of you, not just in picking a word, but in your work, you know, doing the work. This is the part that most of you want to skip is the acknowledgement part, right? We have this awareness. You've probably heard me talk about this before. Like, the whole industry, the personal development, the healing, the business world, everything, everything that's being marketed to you is definitely heightening your awareness that there's some shit you want to change, right? And then. And then they give you the action plan. If you just do this, if you just hire me, if you just buy this, if you just do this, if you just. If you just. All you need to do is they take you from awareness to action, which is usually a band aid or a quick fix. And I want you to know I'm not judging you. I've bought into many, many, many of them in the past. Whether it was for my health, for my business, for love. You name it, I've done it. So no judgment here, but this part in the middle is acknowledging. Acknowledging. We can't figure out how to change behaviors and beliefs and honor, you know, our true, authentic self if we don't acknowledge how we got here, right? And this is not permission to beat the shit out of yourself or yourself or have regret or any of these things, because the shame will keep you stuck, will keep you silent, will keep you.

In all the places you don't want to be. It serves zero good. But we must reflect on the past and really go month by month through your calendar. You know, I did that the other day. Another good friend of mine did a masterclass that I listened to, and it was beautiful because I did it. And I was like, wow, I. It seemed like just yesterday that was. But also, it seemed like a lifetime ago. So if you're having a hard time reflecting on the past, go through your calendar and really look at where things worked really, really well and where you can be really, really proud of yourself. Where you had dips and challenges and emotional pit.

What is it? Potholes. Like, look for those as well.

Find compassion for the hard things and how maybe you dealt with it even if you didn't deal with it. Great. Because we can't move forward with compassionate action if we don't acknowledge how we got here. This is about keeping your side of the street clean. This is about accountability.

And really finding what you want to do differently. Again, not with this judgment or resentment. It's like, okay, I learned a lot through the challenging stuff. And oh, my goodness, I'm so proud of myself for those things. And even though, like, for me, even though this has been the hardest year and.

A really challenging year in every area of my life, I have never been more proud of myself, honestly. And that's what's cool. When we can really honor the acknowledgement process with. Through the lens of compassion, empathy, grace. This is why the Enneagram is so powerful, because you'll know how to be line to that based on your motives, your fears, your blind spots, your wiring. It's really, really cool. That's why I love the Enneagram, you guys. So how do you choose a word? How do you choose a word? Well, if you have really good friends that get what you're doing in your life doesn't have to be business. I take the holistic approach. Right. I have really close people in my inner circle, and that came because I had to let go a lot of people whose soul contract expired and whose part of the story was over, really, really challenging. But brainstorming with somebody who's a little different than you, this is why I love having my closest friends. Different Enneagram types, they have a different lens in which they see the world, a different perspective. I also love having a mentor that is the same as me in a lot of ways. She's different in her tri type, but she's very, very much the same me. And she also knows me and also has gone before me. Right. And then we started kind of reflecting on the last year. And again, what didn't maybe what was challenging and what I want to do differently. And I'll use myself as an example because this might help you. You know, this year, like I said, was about grieving and slowing down and feeling a lot of sadness and, you know, I became an empty nester. I am blending families, which is amazing and also really scary for me. And, oh my gosh, very vulnerable. Like, I don't want to mess anything up, especially when children are involved. You know, I'm getting older and I'm not having as much energy as I used to. You know, I have a ton of energy for my age, but, you know, you know, I am 51 years old and things slow down and I don't like to slow down. It makes the Enneagram 8 and me feel weak. I am.

Reflecting on relationships and friendships and partnerships that have ended and taken accountability for my part in it and recognizing, you know, in the breakdown of any relationship, it always takes two. And what was my role in that and where could I have maybe pulled the trigger sooner and spoken up and. Or ended things or, you know, all the things, but kind of taking this inventory of the challenges that you had and how you want to use those challenges as well as the things that you're really proud of to move forward, you know, because in that process, things slowed down. My business slowed down. Even though I had a very successful year, it did have a really slow patch this last six months. Intentionally. I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan, even though it was necessary and required. Not a fan. Right.

But I know where I am going to go moving forward. And if you haven't listened to the interview I did last week with my good friend Aisha Marshall. So good. I talked about her in the last episode too, when I was talking about the Enneagram Threes. But her whole brand and her podcast is called Butterfly Season. And I have been in a full blown cocoon season this whole year. Even though I showed up and did some work on a soul level, it has been very much a cocoon season. And the last month and a half or so, I have been poking out of the cocoon a little bit. And so the word that my mentor and I have picked for myself moving forward is emerge. And what that means on a holistic level, that coming out of the cocoon and I couldn't rush it. Right. Because if you rush out of the cocoon season, your wings aren't strong enough to fly when the time comes. And because I've honored the cocoon season emerging into 2024 is going to bring a whole different.

Experience to my life at this stage in my life, in this stage of my business, and the stage in my. My romantic life and the stage as a mom, the stage in my health and my journey as a woman. And I'm really, really excited about it. We threw down a bunch of other words, but this, you know, when the theme was to be bold and soar and leave behind the things that I need to leave behind once and for all, emerge was something that was necessary for 2024. So brainstorm. So this is kind of what you can do. You can brainstorm again, take an inventory, compassionate acknowledgement, honoring the really great things that you're proud of, honoring the things that, you know, maybe kicked you in the teeth a little bit. And then pick a few different words and marinate in them for a little bit. Consider your personal goals, your aspirations, your personal life, your challenges. You know, take the holistic approach to this. This isn't just about business, because I guarantee you, at the end of the day, none of that's going to fucking matter. But that being said, this is about building a legacy personally and professionally, and that will get passed on, right? So like I said, my word is going to be emerge. You could have words like resilience, harmony, courage, you name it. I would love to hear what yours are. And one of the things that I want to share with you, and this is why I love the enneagram. Like I have said, like knowing your blind spots and your core fears. The word that I have picked for me is very much in tandem with what I have experienced this last year and the cocoon season. And the things that challenged me are all rooted in my fears and my blind spots. And so when you know your enneagram type and you're typed accurately again, go get your blueprint. Seriously, if you haven't done it yet, go get it. Tracyomalley.com, the work with me section. All the online tests are inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time. So just go get yours. Okay? Mine's accurate over 95%. But what's cool about me knowing myself so deeply as an 8 and my tri type as an 8 to 6 tri type. I know where I go when I'm dealing with feelings. I know where I go when I'm overthinking. I know where I go in my instincts and where my core fears and my blind spots are. And I've used all of that information and the compassion acknowledgment to know exactly where I'm aiming. And this is the word and the strategy that I will implement in 2024, so that when life does, do life on life's terms, because we can't avoid that. And the higher you go, the harder this gets, right? To whom much is given, much is required. And what's cool about this is, is, you know, you can kind of see where you're headed. And the road was going to take you all over the place. And this can always kind of be where you find yourself back in your lane and back on track and back in your soul, right? There's going to be a lot of distractions in 2024. There's going to be a lot of things that test you in 2024. There's going to be people that leave you in 2024.

And being rooted in a foundation.

If it's a word, it's a reminder.

It will absolutely help you stay on track and navigate through the hard things. And at the end of it, you'll feel really, really proud of yourself, even when it got messy and icky and all the things that life does.

I think back to when I was in my early 30s, right, which is when I was early in my personal development journey. I started at 28. And how hard I was on myself because I didn't have the wisdom of experience. If you are a listener, a regular of this podcast, I thank you. And I know that you appreciate the wisdom that comes with life experience. Like, you can chase the shiny objects all day long. You could hire the coaches that maybe have done some really cool shit, not minimizing that. And the cool thing about me and the thing I'm most grateful for, for myself and for the work I get to do with many of you, is the experience that you can't certify, you can't buy, you can't have, unless you've lived it. And this is why I think finally, this picking the whole word thing and really having meaning behind it, not just jumping on the word bandwagon. I'm excited for what 2024 is going to bring for me. My family, my business, my legacy, my life. And I am excited for that for you as well. I am so grateful for you guys in 2023, on the days that it was hard to show up or I didn't want to show up, it was because of you that tell me that the work that I do, the things that I bring to your life, add so much value to you, have actually helped you, whether you've ever spoken to me or not or told me or not. I know. I am so grateful for the trials and the triumphs of 2023. I hope you are too. I look forward to us doing this together for not just 2024, but the many years to come. Also, it is this podcast's birthday this week as well. It's been four years. We're almost at 400 episodes. It is unreal the turns this podcast is taken. It has been three different title names, all sorts of interviews and solo episodes, and hotline guests and coaching clients along the way. I'm super grateful for every place that this life takes me and the gift of my faith, the gift of you, the gift of the Enneagram that helped me move through it all with elegance and grace most of the time. Anyway, I'm wishing you so much love and transformation today and always and until next time you guys. Talk to you soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Leadership Formula podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple Podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to the this episode, you can DM me directly on Instagram at Tracy. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracy.com I'm excited to lead you into the next level of your life.

Sam.