EP406: What the heck do you do when your core Enneagram Type isn't the right tool for the job???

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into it well over a decade ago. Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership, sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, and as well as solo episodes of Breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hey there. Welcome back to an episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I am fresh off of a beautiful retreat workshop that I just did with an incredible, like, elite level entrepreneurial mastermind. It was all women and it was just soulfully beautiful. And honestly, I'd worked with a few of these women who were part of it the last group before, so this was, for some of them, the second or third time they've experienced me and the Enneagram workshop. And you know, it's. It's such a cool thing when you can bring people on the Enneagram journey because it's. It's kind of like the gateway into. And the fast pass, quite honestly, to the real, deeper internal work that is required for you to go to another level in your life, personally and professionally. And you know, the reason why I'm different in this Enneagram space, for sure. Like, it's great to see all the amazing people out there that are bringing new awareness to this beautiful tool and really good educators on the information of it. Absolutely. I'm so grateful for them. However, like all that, information in the world doesn't mean anything if you don't know how to integrate it. And that's kind of where I come in. I'm your integration specialist with the tool of the Enneagram and many other tools. Let's put a big asterisk right there, that although I am the Enneagram expert in your world, there's a lot more tools in my tool belt that help support that. And so a lot of you have been coming to me, some of you are Enneagram certified people and therapists, and you are recognizing that the way that I talk about it is very different than anything you'll see anywhere. And I do see that I'm working on something in the near future for those of you that want to dive deeper with the Enneagram, with your clients, your people, your families, all of that. But anyway.

The thing about the Enneagram is this is like, you can know your type and think like, cool, this tool is going to help me change my life. But if you don't know the framework and the roadmap and the system, it's going to be harder for you to actually use this tool to grow as fast as you want. Now, having the basic information is a beautiful beginning. It is a beautiful beginning. It opened up a whole new world for me, understanding that I was an enneagram 8. And that being said, I've dedicated my life the last 12 years to refining and perfecting my use of this tool. So not only I could use it in my own life, but help you do that in yours. And the big companies and the little companies that bring me in, I want to be that authority and expert to help you use this tool so beautifully and so powerfully in your lives. But one of the things that comes up a lot, myself included, and this is why I. One of the reasons why I was so passionate about learning this for myself, is, you know, as an enneagram 8, that is where my core motives and my core fears are. And everything that I do like it, comes out of that home base. So your Enneagram type is your home base. It's where everything that you do, there's the motive there, there's the. The fear there. But from there, there are so many other tools in your toolbox that you need to understand and know how and when to leverage them so that when your core Enneagram types not the right tool for the job, let's say you have other ones that not only you have accessible to you, but you have practiced using, you have refined using, and you know when to use them. You got to know the way, go the way, and then show the way with these tools, right?

And before understanding the Enneagram, I mean I was all eight, all eight. And it was like, if you didn't speak eight language, like too fucking bad. Like, this is who I am, so be it. And yes, I am an 8. That is who I am. However, you know, when we understand the framework connected to each of our Enneagram types and next level Enneagram stuff, if you've done a one on one session with me or group facilitation with me, a workshop, you'll understand what your tri type is as well. Because that's another layer of really leveraging the tools and the framework and your personal soul roadmap. This is where the magic of the Enneagram happens. Because if I just led with all my eightness, although I make shit happen with that, I can leave a lot of wreckage in its path if I'm not careful. It can get the job done. But is it the most effective tool in my toolbox? Honestly, a lot of the time, no. And the same thing for you as well. Whether you're a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 or 9 on the enneagram, quite often your core Enneagram type is not the right tool for the job. So you're like, great, what do I do? You don't change who you are. Like you are going to be who you are through and through. Your motives and your fears don't really, really change. Okay? But the self awareness of understanding and putting your ego aside, you know, ego is there to protect us, but the ego doesn't always do it for our favor, right? It's, you know, there are times and places where the ego is really important. And then there's other times it's a little more destructive. And so having the self awareness and understanding the framework of your soul map with the tool of the Enneagram and especially when you can feel things in your body or you are more aware of not just yourself, but the people in your environment or container or family or whatever, you know, I can pretty almost immediately know, okay, my eight needs to kind of be quiet a little bit. It doesn't mean that I'm not an 8. It doesn't mean that I'm changing anything who I am. But there are so many different components tied to my Enneagram type. There's four in particular, we have the two wings, the two Enneagram wings, which honestly are so important to this whole game. And if you're new to my podcast, but you're familiar with the Enneagram, you might have heard like, oh, I'm a this wing mat. And you might identify with that, or you might lean heavier in that. But if you just own that one wing, if you think about a bird or an airplane, if they only use one wing, what's going to happen? Yeah, you crash. Same thing with these tools. Like, you have two wings for a reason, and they're very different from your core type, and they're different from each other. It doesn't mean that you're ever motivated like these two wings. It doesn't mean that you fear from the place of these two wings. However, these two I want you to think of as like your strong supporting cast or the most important supplements that you have in your arsenal, right? Because they will help wrangle in the ego of your core Enneagram type. Quite honestly, they're like, hey, we're here to support you. We want to be the most effective, efficient, compassionate that we can be in any given situation. And this goes for your personal life and your professional life. Leadership, parenting.

Friendships, romantic partnerships, anything.

Me understanding my core type. And usually I need my wings to help me because if I'm just left to my own, any of us, if we're left to our own core types, ways our ego will run wild, right? It's like self will run riot, you know? And so the wings are like these strong superheroes that come in to support you for not only your greatest good, but for the greatest good of those that you're here to make impact on personally and professionally. So those are your first two things. And I'll do other episodes, and I've done many episodes on the power of the wings. We are due for some more updated stuff on the wings, but those are like the first thing. Like, okay, how can these two wings support and still honor who I am? That's the cool part about this, is like, your wings want to support you. Now you can use your wings in a dysfunctional way, which a lot of you might be doing, I have in my past. But you really want to change the come from. Like, how can we use these for the greatest good that honors who you are, but also is respectful, kind, compassionate, empathetic, filled with grace, honorable. Out in the world now, we have two other types connected to us, and that's our growth and our stress number. And one is kind of like the holy grail we're always aiming for. And I've said this before. I'll say it again. You can't get to your growth number without both of your wings. There's no freaking way at all, right? And especially for the work that I do. The work that I do is so deep and so intense in the most beautiful of transformative ways, right? If I didn't lean into my growth number, there's no way I do this. And in order for me to be in my growth number, I need my wings. So for the most part, a lot of what I do and how I operate in the in this world is using three of the enneagram types attached to my soul roadmap, right? And then also having a strong awareness of my stressor number. And this is true for all of you guys. And you can get your core enneagram type, your wings, your growth, and your stress accurately done through my blueprints. You can go to traceeomalley.com I'm telling you right now, that is the first most important step in using this tool. Once you have that right information, the sky's the limit in what you can do with this tool.

But back to the stressor number. For me, it's always kind of knowing that it's there. No matter how much of the work you do, you can't really eliminate that. It's really helpful to know it. It's kind of like warning lights on your car. It's kind of like a compass, right? We don't want to avoid that, honestly, because that stressor number can also really help us in some ways. But more importantly, usually when we are about to up level, grow, expand, go into alignment, we're going to get radically uncomfortable before that happens, right? And this is where that polarity and that contrast is so fucking important. It is so fucking uncomfortable. And it is equally as important as it is uncomfortable sometimes. And so understanding your stressor number and understanding when you're in that zone and each enneagram type has a different stressor number, each enneagram type has a different growth number. Each enneagram type has very specific wings for you. That's why having the right information is really important. But understanding your stressor number and knowing when you're in that zone and then how to use some of the beautiful traits of that stressor number in order to grow you, serve you, honor you.

And do what you're here to do. And then finally, the holy Grail. Like I said, if you do a one on one session with me or have done any workshops with me within a group, we talk about the tri type. And this is where you dominate in the other centers of intelligence. Wherever your core type is, is the center of intelligence home base that you go to. So for an 8, 9, or 1, your home base center of intelligence is the gut or the instinctual instinctual center. If you're a 2, 3, or 4, your home base center of intelligence is the heart or feeling cent. And then if you're a 5, 6, or 7, your home base center of intelligence is the thinking or head center. But you do use the other two centers of intelligence and you have a specific strategy that you use in those centers of intelligence based on where you dominate in those centers of intelligence. And this has been game changing for me for the last 18 months as I have been navigating a huge fucking level of growth, personally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, using all three centers of intelligence. Because obviously my home base is in the eight instinctual center. Everything I've ever done pretty much by default goes through my instincts first. And then I have to process my feelings and my thoughts about things, right? And knowing the strategies that I go to in the processing and expressing of my feelings and the processing and the expression of my thoughts, knowing where I dominate in those two centers has allowed me to have even more compassion for myself, even though I'm very frustrated with myself sometimes in my strategies.

But understanding this information and having it and practicing using it and leveraging it and building these muscles have made me.

Move faster through it and grow faster, even though it's still uncomfortable. So I was working with somebody over the week, you know, in the workshop, who is a 5 and amazing. An amazing enneagram 5. All my fives shout out to you. You guys know you're my favorite Enneagram type because you're so cool and quirky and unique and I love your introverted ways. And I'm sure an enneagram5 invented the Irish Duck out anyway, she was wanting to step into this online space and really own her personal brand. But it goes against everything that the Five wants to do. There's so much resistance in the energy and the fears and the motives of the enneagram 5. However, she knew she had this big calling on her life, so we were talking about how she can use her wings to support that. When the 5 wants to default into, like, cocoon and never seeing another human again and and hoard all their information and their resources, how she could leverage the use of her four wing, the creative the creative, intense, emotionally available, all the things which is very unique. You know, that's a unique perspective for an enneagram 5. They're very heady, obviously. But having that wing, as long as you've built it strong, you can really tap into it to really own this personal brand Persona. And then using the six wing, obviously to troubleshoot, strategize, reverse engineer the game plan. Because Fives are all about just gathering of the information, but they don't necessarily tap into that creative process naturally. They have to tap into their four wing. They don't always.

Reverse engineer and come up with a game plan. That's why the six wing is so strong. But the growth number is the Enneagram 8 for the Enneagram 5. And so if we're going to step into that, that means kind of being direct and center stage and holding big space, which Fives really don't love to do naturally. But they know every five that I've ever worked with that knows they have this divine calling on their life, that they're here to make some kind of impact. They know they have to step into it and finding the support in their. Their soul roadmap is important. Ironically, this Enneagram 5 that I was working with also had the 38 in their tri type. So they're an Enneagram 5, but they dominate like a 3 in the feeling center and an 8 in the instinctual center. And so I was telling her, like, when your five wants to resist this at all costs, you know, using the 3 and 8 in your tri type, they're both very assertive types. Right? The 5 is a more withdrawn type. You're going to need to learn how to build these muscles really strong so that when everything about the five wants to like, hunker down, isolate, hide in a cave, never see people again. She knows what tools are most accessible to her between her wings, her growth, her stress, and her tri type. This is where the magic of the Enneagram comes into play. And a lot of times, having a guide take you through this will make this whole process more fun, faster.

It's incredible. It's like having a built in YouTube kind of tutorial. Once you kind of know what you're working with, it is the work. I'm. So it's like putting human roadmaps back together. And the psychology roadmap of bringing you back home to who you were always designed to be before life and situations and experiences and, you know, things got ahold of you and told you you needed to do this, be this, believe this a certain way. You are unique to you. And you were designed to do mighty, mighty things here in this lifetime. And the beautiful part about who you are is rooted in your core Enneagram type. Your perspective on the world, the way that you see things, the way that you process things, the that you bring your gifts to the world are very unique to your Enneagram type. And a lot of times, that very Enneagram type can be the thorn in your side, the kryptonite that holds you back, the reason you play small. And so using these other components within your Soul Roadmap and the framework of your Enneagram type will be so powerful and a lot less frustrating to you. I'm not saying it won't be uncomfortable, because it is. It's still uncomfortable for me. I teach this, know this. I live, eat, and breathe this. And it's still radically uncomfortable for me, too. I get it. It's not always fun. It's not always fun. But I will tell you this. It's always freaking worth it. Every single time. And so I kind of wanted to let you know that, you know, just because you have a certain Enneagram type doesn't mean it's like this death sentence for growth, especially, you know, I know if you're listening to this, you're probably wanting to grow in a way that feels radically uncomfortable for you, and you want to skip to the. The end zone goal line before you honor the soul line. And your framework can help you honor the soul line while you achieve all the things that happen at the goal line. This is my favorite part of diving in with you and doing this work with you is, you know, yeah, your Enneagram type might trip you up from time to time, but you can meet yourself with love and compassion and empathy and grace and then utilize the rest of this framework to support that and actually build your confidence and in owning who you are in total freaking alignment every single day. It feels really good. It feels really good. And I want that for all of you. So if that's something you want to do, obviously the first step is Getting accurately typed. 65 to 70% of all online assessments are inaccurate. And especially if you're a high achiever, you can pretty much bank that you're mistyped. And so doing my. My assessment and getting your customized blueprint through me is the most important first step in having the right information. If you know, you want some, want me to guide you through what that all means, definitely take the time, the investment to do a 90 minute power session. I had a client just the other day. In 39 minutes she told literally she looked at the clock. She goes In 39 minutes, you have made more sense of my life than 10 years of therapy and coaching and well over tens of thousands of dollars in 39 minutes. So imagine what 90 can do. If you want to dive deeper into that. Even if you've already done the blueprint, you can still do that. We'll just be able to skip right into all of it without me making sure it's accurate. Definitely do that. Or if you're somebody who has a team or family or an organization and you want to bring this into that. My favorite thing to do are workshop style kind of intensives with you and the people that you are here to love and lead along the way. All that information can be found@tracy o'malley.com if you are loving the Enneagram and loving this podcast, honestly, it means the world to me that you take your time to listen day in and day out. Over 400 episodes now. It's unbelievable to me that we have been doing this together this long. But if you are gaining value, please spread the word on this podcast and bring the beautiful integration of the Enneagram into the lives of those that you know or the ones that you love and lead that love the Enneagram. I take a whole different kind of spin and perspective on it so that you can actually use this tool for goodness and greatness in your life, personally and professionally. I will see you soon. We got lots of cool things coming down the pipeline here in my side of the world. I can't wait to dive into more of your side of the world coming soon. I appreciate you. I love you and wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. We'll see you soon.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the Lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram tracyomally. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomalley.com I'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.