EP407: When self-awareness isn't enough - How to take the action that moves the damn needle

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you you need to know all about it. So here you are. But what the hell do you do with it?

Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I was a skeptic of the Enneagram before I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership. Sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions, as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello. Welcome back to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. I am your host, Tracy o', Malley, joining you from my patio of peace. I am fresh off a few weeks of intense masterminding. I was facilitating workshop at a Mastermind and then also participated as a paid member of a Mastermind this last week with my elite level mastermind group. And I'm telling you, you know, you've heard the thing about getting in the rooms and don't be the smartest person in the room. And I will say yes to that. Excuse me. You're gonna hear planes flying over. I will agree with that. And you can't just get in the room and expect expect shit to happen just because you got in the room. You can't just check a box and say, I got in the room. I got in the mastermind. I went to the event and expect miracles to happen. You have to be a miracle generator. And part of that isn't just by what you get out of the rooms. It's also by what you give, it's how you show up. It's the vulnerability in which you operate. And I wanted to kind of share an aha that, you know, I've had. I mean, I am probably the most self aware person I know. I teach self awareness, for crying out loud. I make lots of money helping teams, organizations, individuals. It's my thing, right? Self awareness through the beautiful tool of the Enneagram. But self awareness, y', all, is not enough, including for yours truly. And, you know, I think the level of self awareness that happens for a lot of you, especially in the personal developments development space, myself included, is we have this awareness. You've heard me talk about, like the awareness and then wanting to take action, or we use this awareness to kind of go down rabbit holes of deeper understanding. And it's not in the understanding necessarily that we build our confidence, that we grow. It is putting the reps in, it's the messy action. And I wanted to share with you something that happened last week as an example of this. And I know that when I show up in my true vulnerability, it's only going to help you. So I'm going to share kind of what happened for me last last week. It was super vulnerable for me. You know, being in a room like that.

Can be triggering in the most beautiful ways. And I've said before, triggers are one of our biggest opportunities for growth if we choose to see it that way. Like, we can learn a lot when we're triggered by people, places and things in the rooms we put ourselves in. And last week I wasn't necessarily triggered, but I knew, like, as the most self aware person that I know, I wasn't taking certain action. And this deeper understanding of who I am didn't necessarily translate into productivity. And you might be the same way. And this is kind of the problem with personal development. So I'm going to use myself as an example how to move the needle. So last week, my good friend Chris Harder, whose mastermind I'm in and have been in for several years now, took us on a little field trip. And the field trip was to this racetrack. And I love fast cars and I love driving and all the things that go fast and make loud noises. Like, I'm all for it, I love it. And one of the things, one of the activities, we had, like three different activities that we were doing. And the first one was a team activity. There were eight people within each team. There were four teams. A few teams had nine, but ours had eight. So that meant somebody was going to go twice. And I was looking at our team, and our team was solid. Like, some people that absolutely were comfortable with this kind of thing. Some people that were absolutely terrified of this thing.

Knew looking at the people. And also because I've done this before, I knew that I was going to be the person that went twice, and I was going to be the anchor of the team, and I felt very confident in it. And I was looking at the team we were going up against, and I knew they were good. I knew they had some players in there that could drive, that could. That are competitive, all the things right. And I knew that I probably was going to have to come from behind, and I had all the confidence in the world that when it comes time to showing up for the team, I could be clutch. And I love having the weight of the world for a team on my shoulders. Bring it. Let me have it. And sure enough, like.

We ended up winning the whole thing. We did have a come from behind victory. And everybody was like, we knew we had it when you were the person that was anchoring it. And that felt really good. Based on my enneagram type, of course, like, everything about what motivates me is being strong.

Powerful. Yes, yes, yes. Check, check. I love all that stuff. Plus, you know, marry that with my Tri type, the 826. I am the rescuer. Of course I like to serve my people. Of course I love to strategize. And of course, course, I like to be strong and powerful. Like, hello. This challenge was made for me. Then we moved on to the individual portion of the racetrack. And again, in assessing the situation, there is a huge probability that I could absolutely be in the top three. And this was a timed thing. This was a technical, finesse thing. It was like racing on a mini track with twists and turns where you had to be savvy with your technique. Again, I know what I'm doing behind the wheel of a car when it comes to this, and with a strong, powerful engine. And that being said, something happened when it was an individual thing and when it was just about me.

I kind of went rogue a little bit. I know all the finesse that it takes to win this thing. And in doing that, I didn't realize it in the moment when it was happening, but within five minutes after I was done and knew I failed miserably. I still probably came in the top 10, but still, I easily could have won this thing, even with some of the beautiful people that have done this before. But it wasn't even about winning. For me it was more about what internally happened for me and the self awareness of when it is about me for me. I will sabotage, I will dim my light, I will go rogue. I won't show up for myself sometimes the way I will for other people. And it didn't hit me until we were on the third part of the racetrack, which was the solo kind of open road, go as fast as you can part of it. And you know, I didn't even like get upset that I didn't win the individual thing earlier. Like I didn't even think I was like I was just having fun. One of my friends was in the front seat with me. We were having a good laugh because I was practically doing donuts in the, in the racetrack. It was fun, or at least I thought it was. You know, it was making it about the fun, hilarious experience rather than knowing what was actually happening for me. And it was when I was on the big track, kind of sitting in the car by myself with the music going in, the window down and my air, the air blowing through my hair that I recognized the pattern in my life and how, what, what, what I was about to do next is really important in this lesson for you. That I was very self aware of what I just told you, that when it comes to putting the weight of a team, a client, a family member, a partner, a friend, a company, when it comes to putting the weight of whatever they're experiencing on my back, there is nobody better. It's why I'm great at what I do, honestly. It's why I am the coach that I am. It's why I'm highly sought after. It's why I'm the 911 call for so many of the CEOs and thought leaders that you know of. Because when the weight of the world is on the team, I am clutch. When it comes to myself, not so much now, the self awareness. As I was racing around this track at about 100 miles an hour, having this awareness isn't enough. What was I going to do with that self awareness in that moment? And I had a very emotional experience as a result of this awareness. And it wasn't fed with judgment, it wasn't fed with criticism, it wasn't fed with shame. And this is really important for you to understand that when we meet ourselves with the self awareness, with judgment, criticism, shame, the whipping stick that we pull out on ourselves, absolutely. We will never create change now. Also meeting ourselves, even with compassion and empathy and understanding is better. And it doesn't necessarily move the needle either. It's a better option than the shame because you can get to the more authentic parts of who you are with the compassion, empathy, grace, understanding. You know, the shame just keeps us stuck and secretive and isolated. The compassion, the empathy, the grace can actually get us to our true, most authentic self. And it's still passive activity. Passive activity doesn't create change. We can have awareness. We can even acknowledge where this is all coming from, like I did. But if we don't take compassionate, effective action, we still stay stuck. And sometimes even knowing we're stuck with the compassion and empathy can feel more frustrating. Like it has yours truly for some time with some things, right? And so I made a commitment that self awareness, again, somebody that teaches it, I eat it for breakfast, all the things. Self awareness is great. It's what you do with it that creates the. The movement, the change, the rocket ship, the success, the abundance, the relationships, the support that you want in your life all comes on the heels of the awareness, the acknowledgment and compassionate, effective aggressive action. And sometimes aggressive action means quiet, sometimes aggressive action. Aggressive action is determined on the individual that it is speaking of. So, like, for certain people, aggressive actions could be mean. Doing less aggressive action for somebody like me does mean taking some action and not going into the five cave, right? And that's why self awareness is really, really important. And it's not everything. It's just a piece of the puzzle. And it's why you have to really build the muscle on not just gathering all the information and becoming aware of that information. It's the integration of it that equals transformation.

So what did I do with this information? I spoke very vulnerably and with many tears with these people that I've put myself in rooms with, with the mentors that I have around me, with the therapists that are in my life, with the people that are in my deepest, most close inner circle for accountability. And also like saying, I'm not great at this part. Can I lean on you for this? Will you hold me accountable to this? It was very hard for me to do as it is for many of you. It isn't easy to just know the things. It isn't the. That isn't just knowing and understanding isn't enough for you to create the change, the impact, the success that you want in your life, personally and professionally. It takes a level of vulnerability and being messy and clunky and all over the place, even sometimes. And accountable. Accountable. The Enneagram is a beautiful starting point for this. It's why I love this podcast so much. Because even if you have gotten accurately assessed through my blueprint and my assessment, again, 65 to 70% of you that are into the Enneagram and have taken an online assessment are typed in accurately. And so your level of self awareness is probably a little skewed or inaccurate, right? Or at least using this tool. But even those of you that have been assessed and gotten your blueprint through me, it's what you do with that information that really will allow the magic to happen using the tool and in your life, personally and professionally. And I am somebody that continues to walk my talk. I am somebody that promises to be real and vulnerable with you. And transparent vulnerability means in real time, when I have no idea how this pans out. And this is a vulnerable moment because this just happened, you know, less than a week ago. And I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to execute some of this stuff. I have done some of it. I have shared it with people that I trust. I have asked for accountability, but I haven't necessarily taken a lot of action yet. So this is super vulnerable for me. Transparent is like sharing the story, right? So I want to encourage you guys today, especially those of you that are my Enneagram beautiful people that have gotten the correct information. What are you going to do with that information and that level of self awareness today to actually move the needle? What are you going to do with the self awareness and even understanding the framework of your Enneagram type? I'm very clear about my framework. I know where I'm going under stress. I'm going to that five cave. I'm gathering intel. I know the parts of my tri type and my wings that I'm using in a beautiful way and also a way that's keeping me not taking action. What are you going to do with your self awareness today and what action are you going to take to actually move the needle? Right? This is where understanding your framework can help you do that faster. Like I am. I know where I go. I know where I need to go in in growth. I know what parts of my wings I need to be absolutely executing right now. And here's the other thing. I know the people that I need to be surrounded with that are really, really great at certain things that I'm not so great at and naturally will never be. I can build the muscle, I can get better. But this is the beauty, because we were never meant to do this alone. We were never meant to do any of this. Alone, as somebody who loves her introverted tendencies in a lot of ways, also is equally frustrated by them. My understanding of the Enneagram and all the people that come in contact with me knowing kind of where they're strong based on their Enneagram type and their tri types, you know, that's the beauty of doing this work, is I know exactly who's around me at any given time. And that being said, it's a little easier to be vulnerable and know like, hey, I know you're three and you're really great at actually like seeing the goal and hit the goal. Can you help me actually execute this? And in fact, you know, two of the people that really are holding me accountable this week were Enneagram threes. They're a little different than me. They're wired differently than me. I'm never going to be as great at seeing a goal and hitting a goal like they do, but being vulnerable with them and letting them see those parts of me and trusting them will allow them to pour belief and strategy into me and help me kind of see things through a little bit differently. And, you know, coming up in 2024, I plan to move the needle in big, huge ways. And I know you are too. I know you are too. This is a really powerful, energetic year. I know because, you know, the emails that you send me, the DMS that you send me, you're ready. You're ready, but you are stuck in self awareness. You have all the awareness, but, you know, all the information won't equal transformation. It's what you do with it. And that's why I know you love this podcast. I know I will continue to bring you tactical things on how to actually integrate your framework into your life and transform and accelerate the transformation that you desire, that you deserve in your life. But I thought today was, you know, this isn't a box you check. You know, I'm sharing that even though I'm somebody who's like an expert in this and teaches this to high level people, I too need to walk that talk in everything I do. So. And there will be new evolutions of growth. Growth. This isn't a box you check and then just, yep, I did it. I got my Enneagram blueprint. So I check that box. I am now self aware and should be able to move the needle. It's what you do with it. And if you need help moving the needle with self awareness using the tool of the Enneagram, I have a very few spots open for one on one coaching. My my calendar is getting full. But I do have a few open spots. If you want to do a 90 minute power session, which is a one off session even if you've already gotten your blueprint, we can dive right into all the strategy and integration practices of it before we just go into information gathering and telling. Or if you know, you want me on speed dial in your back pocket for three, three months at a time. I do have one or two spots for that private VIP coaching that I do that is so super valuable. It's like self awareness and acknowledgement and compassionate effective action on steroids. So if that is something that you are wanting to do, that is by application only. All these things are@tracy o'malley.com I wouldn't sleep on this. What you do today will show up 90 days from now. So you know, for many of you, you said going into 2024 this is the year that I'm going to do XYZ. You can insert whatever that means to you. But have you taken the action in the first 90 days of 2024 to actually start producing that kind of transformation personally and professionally that you want? If not, it's time to get some integration specialists in your life and I am honored to be one of those for you and many, many, many of you that have listened. If you need a refresher, don't sleep on this. It definitely will help you move the needle and take that level of self awareness and putting action to it. Just like I am for myself. I love being this kind of person. For many of you you can do that all@tracyomally.com I know that being vulnerable in real time is really, really hard. It is when you don't necessarily know what you're going to do with all this information and self awareness. When you don't know, you know there's a big fog in front of the road you're on and you don't necessarily know what next steps to take. Getting stuck in all the awareness of all the things may not help you, but having somebody guide you when you can't see for yourself what this looks like is really where I see transformation happen. Not just for you but also for me. And I am somebody that is walking that talk and I will continue to do that for you. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing this. If you love this episode and got something out of it, share it with me in the DMS or share it on the socials. It means the world to me. It's how we get this message and this kind of powerful.

Development out into the world. I appreciate you, I love you and I'm wishing you so much love and transformation in your life. We'll talk soon.

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Malley.

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