EP412: From avoidant to alignment as an Enneagram 7 with Dr. Megan Daley (SP Enneagram 7)

Okay, I know you may have heard about the Enneagram or someone told you.

You need to know all about it.

So here you are.

But what the hell do you do with it? Great news.

You are in the right place. Lead with the Enneagram is the show where you will actually learn how to use this incredible growth tool and apply it in all areas of your life, personally and professional. Hi, I'm Tracy. And to be honest with you, I.

Was a skeptic of the Enneagram before.

I started to actually integrate it into my life. In fact, in true enneagram 8 style, I told my therapist to F off when she wanted me to dive into.

It well over a decade ago.

Now that I have more than a decade of experience using the Enneagram and working on myself in my family with those closest to me, building my own bulletproof leadership. Sales teams with one on one clients, couples, leading workshops for top Fortune 100 executives, and speaking to large audiences all across the globe about this powerful tool. I've got the proof and deep understanding of how to help you implement this into your life instead of it just being some fun thing you heard about. The Enneagram can be a complex model. But with me as your guide, I will show you how to first lead yourself in a powerful, effective and compassionate way and then help you lead others that way in your life as well. This podcast will have powerful conversations with guests, live typing sessions and as well as solo episodes of breaking down dynamics of the Enneagram and how they impact your life, career and relationships. So now let's dive in.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Lead with the Enneagram. And we have a special treat for you today we have another hotline episode where somebody that is totally been diving deep into the Enneagram, they've taken their blueprint or taken their assessment with me and gotten their blueprint and some have actually even and sat one on one with me for for quite some time and they still have questions. And that's the beauty of the tool of the Enneagram. It's not like we check this box like, yep, I'm this Enneagram type and all my problems are solved. It's not how life works. It's not how true inner work works. Information doesn't equal transformation. It's how we integrate it and what we do with it and the intent and integrity in which we do it. That's where the magic happens. And Today's guest is Dr. Megan Daly. A self preservation enneagram7 with the 748 TRI type. Her and I have been in each other's energy and vicinity and.

All the things quite some time over the last few years that I've gotten to know her. And she's just such a special, special human. And I knew she was an enneagram7 the minute I was around her. And then, of course, it was confirmed, and we did do a deep dive into what that meant for her, for her personally, for her professionally. And this is the beauty of this work, is when you ask more questions about how to actually use this powerful tool in your life, that's when we can accelerate the transformation personally and professionally. So, Dr. Megan, hello and welcome.

Thank you so much for having me, Tracy. I am so stoked to be here, and thank you for that beautiful intro. It's so just. It's been amazing just getting to be around you and in the same spheres and getting to know you the past couple years.

You're incredible. And you have. You know, this is like, a lot of people listening may not get this, but because you're an enneagram7, all my enneagram Sevens will totally get this. And this is really important. If you aren't an enneagram7, it's important that you hear this, because, like, me, my enneagram7 in my life is why I studied this, because I seriously don't even understand them sometimes and how their brain works. And, you know, when it's clear as day, like, holy crap, you're onto something great. And an enneagram 7 will be like, that's fun. But plot twist, I'm completely switching it up. And yet, Dr. Megan, Dr. Megan decided, like, hey, I'm good at this, but I also want to do something else. And most people would probably be like, are you freaking crazy? You did all the things. You went to school, you built a practice. All the things. And in true enneagram7form, where probably the rest of her world was telling her she was fucking crazy, she's like, nope, I want to do something else. Is that kind of the mind that goes on for you and the rest of my Enneagram Sevens? Is that really how it plays out for you guys?

100%. And, I mean, there is a little bit of mind, too, because until it takes a lot to really get to a place where you really can take on a lot of others, especially people that you admire and respect, being like, you're nuts and not internalize that some. So it took me a long time. What actually a lot of people don't know is, this isn't the first time I've done that, I have a math degree and I full pivoted and like denied entry to get a PhD in computer engineering and computer science and full pivoted to PT school and then full pivoted from. People even said I was crazy to pivot from corporate healthcare into cash clinic. And then yeah, no one understood why I would go from being a doctor with a very successful cash clinic into. Wait, you're going into coaching? Like, what are you doing?

Right, yeah, I know. And you know, raising an Enneagram 7 ironically with your exact same tri type of the 7, 4, 8. I understand that more than just being an Enneagram 7, you are the messenger, which is what that tri type means. Which means that you will be delivering messages in all different kind of modalities and formats and languages and practices. And that is the calling on your life. And most people won't understand it. But another part of who you are, before we dig into your questions, is the self preservation aspect of you, you know, being a self preservation 7.

Those of you that have a self preservation type, whether you're a seven or not, you kind of operate in your strategy when things are happening good or not so good is the first thing that you guys think of is safety, security and comfort. So making these pivots, how does. I'm sure that's where the mind fuckery comes for you. Because yeah, safety, security and comfort is really important. But safety, security and comfort and also having freedom and choices and changing things up, how do you reconcile that self preservation aspect of who you are and that, that desire and that strategy of safety, security and comfort versus that freedom fighter of the enneagram 7 in you and that motive.

Yeah, a lot I love this question and a lot of it really comes down to knowing myself, like knowing yourself so deeply and trusting yourself and trusting the universe. Source like whatever you believe in that, hey, if this is on my heart and this is what is going to allow me to feel like the freedom and all the things that I really strive for and to create the impact that I want. Like if I can't do that in my current situation, then I may feel safe and secure, but it's not actually because I'm going to feel caged. And so it's trusting that I can find that safety and security. I might just have a little bit of unsettled in between time as I build the thing. So it's a lot of trust. It is, yeah. There's a lot of mind fuckery in there to. It feels Like a roller coaster.

Yeah, it's. It's playing the long game. Like you're very. And this is the beauty, wisdom that experience in life and. And getting a little bit older kind of teaches you. It's like, I'm here to play the long game. Yeah. The safety and security in the short game is true, but it won't create that long game freedom and choices that you want for yourself and also that you're supposed to pave the way for other people. Right?

Yeah. Yeah.

What's your favorite thing about being an enneagram 7?

Oh, my favorite thing about being an enneagram 7, really? There's two things that come to mind and they. They kind of go hand in hand. The person that gives other people permission to around, joy, adventure, spontaneity, freedom. And along the same lines, like the person that's willing to be out of the box and in turn that gives other people permission to do the same. Like, I'll give you the example of when I just randomly started getting back into dance. Right. Because again, the enneagram 7, I wanted to do all the different things and I start getting back into dance and I got influxes of messages being like, I wish I could do that. And as the enneagram7, my response is, well, why can't you? Like, you can. You don't need someone else to go with you. You don't need permission. Like, just go do it. And so. And the response that I get from that often is, oh, oh, you're right. So that's my favorite thing is that kind of lead from the front, go find your joy and give other people permission to do the same.

How do you discern.

Going on the adventure and doing the thing that lights you up versus it being avoidant? Right. Because that's kind of the blind spot for the enneagram 7 is like, yes, you want to do all the things and you do believe everything's possible. You are innovators and visionaries and all the things. And equally so a lot of times you'll say or believe something's not in alignment because you want to avoid the pain attached to it or some of the other things. How do you kind of reconcile and discern that on the day to day?

Yeah. And that gets into. So while I was a doctor of physical therapy, I mean, I still am, but while I was actively treating, I got certified in trauma and somatic informed care. And soma, or somatics are the mind body connection. And I bring this up because it's really important to be Able to tap into your body. And especially as an enneagram7, we do tend to cope by go, go, go adventure. Like freebird association. Exactly. It can turn into that. And so when I start thinking, like, oh, this would be cool, I take that, like, there's power in the pause of, okay, let me check in with my body. Does this actually feel aligned, or do I start to feel something come up? And that's going to feel very different for every human, but, like, do I feel something start to bubble up where it's like, oh, okay, that's actually not 100% aligned. Let me go down this rabbit hole and see what's hiding underneath. What is actually, for me, right.

This is like the. What you just said is the holy grail for an enneagram 7. For all enneagram types, but especially the more assertive types, like the 37 states, where we kind of just rush towards things and, you know, we. We would rather ask for forgiveness than permission. But the power of that pause is so, so important to discern. Are we doing what's in alignment, or are we disassociating? That's the blind spot of the Enneagram 7. With a 7, 4, 8, tri type. Like, it's so special because as a 7, you're motivated by, like, freedom, choices, certainty that all options are available to you, but that four aspect of you. It's like the most intuitive enneagram type, the enneagram 4. The ability to tap into that deep emotional reserve, which for Sevens, they don't always like. The messiness, the murkiness, the heaviness of that. But you having that in your wheelhouse for how you process feelings and stuff absolutely allows you to honor your intuition, but also hold that space for other people. Is that part of why you decided to go into coaching versus having, you know, the cash paid practice, or did you feel like you couldn't use as much of that in, you know, patient care?

You know, what's interesting is, until you actually just verbalized it, I didn't realize that that was probably a pull without me recognizing that that was part of it. So a giant reason for me moving into the coaching space. Honestly, a lot of what I do now I did at a micro level as a physical therapist.

Right, Right.

Like, I. You cannot separate physical, emotional, spiritual health. Like, they're. They're too intertwined. Even if I wasn't directly working on the person's physical pain, part of why I started moving into this direction was actually I started having patients say, like, hey, we love coming to you for the physical stuff, but I have someone to refer to you. You've helped me with my emotional resiliency just in our chats. Can I send them to you like they have a headache so they'll come in but let chat about them, about their life, etc. And so I started to recognize that I felt a little caged by PT because I could only make so much difference in the space that it allowed me versus coaching. I don't have to follow board restrictions or licensure or any of those, any of the red tape that comes with those environments. And then on top of it I could really like hone in and focus in on okay, what is this person's problem? What gaps do they have and how can I help them like find their own way? Because a lot of the coaching that I do actually is helping someone, someone else take the blinders off that are put up by societal conditioning, expectations etc and being able to tap like have them verbally dump on me and then me being able to pick through and like, okay, here is what your intuition is actually trying to tell you and you're just allowing it to be cloud clouded by all this other stuff. Here's what's actually for you, here's how to fill the gaps. So yes, I, without even recognizing that that was like my fourth power coming in 100, I just, I could do that as a PT, but only on a micro level. And it just strongly became a, a feeling inside of me that I was playing small if I stayed in that space.

Yes. Like I've had nine therapists in my life and every single one of them said I should be a therapist. I'm like, you don't understand. I will break all the rules and end up in jail. And like I much prefer like to be a coach and have no rules as far as that goes and really connect with people with my intuition, not just my education. Right. Which you know, you're highly educated. I am highly educated. But like I'd much prefer use that but also experience an intuition to be able to serve. So I, I get that one. Your ability to do that for other people and same do you find yourself getting tripped up with being able to do that for yourself as freely 100%.

I mean I'm kind of like giggling back here because my first question Good, let's hear it. Let's hear it has to do. It's like how do you truly differentiate intuitive voice from the what I call enneagram7 excited voice beyond listening for lack of emotionality so when I, like, I can do it so readily for everyone else.

Yeah.

But for myself again, like, I have the. That ability to kind of like take that pause and check in with my body somatically. But what I've realized is there's a part of me that likes to trick myself. It's almost like this coping protector part. So if anyone's done, like, ifs therapy, I have a protector part that tries to come in and can sound very much like there's not emotionality to it. And it typically takes me like an hour to be able to differentiate between the two. But I want to be able to utilize the power of, like, that enneagram7 intuitive, like, quick action taker. I'm also human design manifester. So, like, that plays into it as well.

So there's times where I get like, so frustrated by needing to take that hour to differentiate, even with all the tools that I have at my wheelhouse already.

Yeah. Some of these. These sneakier bits, like, this is the hard part about personal development is we can cloak some of this stuff in justification or, like, we kind of know too much, or we can justify why we're going to do something. And, you know, it's far a far leap from the total dysfunctional way because it looks. Behaviorally, it can look similar. And it's like, well, I'm good. I'm good and I have to do the same fucking thing. Like, I do this all day long with people and I'm energized by it. And it's real easy to say that, but when it's our core fears and our core motives and we bring, you know, not just our biology of our divine makeup, our. Our somatics, our nervous system, plus biography and history and all the shit that's happened, that kind of is like saying, what the fuck? You know, and then we have these behaviors that, you know, we have the receipts, the timeline, everything to show that it's worked out okay for us, you know, and then there's a whole other backstory that goes to it. So it can be kind of messy to be like, okay, what's true and what's my. Am I calling on myself with love or what is it?

Right.

And this is the beauty of somatic work as well, is because the body never lies.

Yep.

But we have to listen to it. And there are times whether you're a 7, 8, 2, 14 doesn't matter. Like, really pausing long enough and compassionately meeting ourselves regardless of what the answer says, because more often than not, the first line of Defense is going to be a justification, especially all you woke ass. Personal, personally developed. Yep. Myself included. I'm not calling anybody out, I'm calling myself out too. Like, I can easily say, yeah, they need to do that. But like I, you know, I know what I'm doing over here, but really allowing ourselves to be unarmored in looking at ourselves and, and slowing down long enough to feel our body. And if you're not familiar with somatic work, you know, six, seven years ago, I would have thought this was bullshit, but I promise you it's not. It's not. This is part of your biology, but really slowing down enough to know. And this is the beauty of the framework and the navigation system that is the enneagram. Because you know, at the root of everything you do, you're motivated by freedom, choices, options, all the time. Everything you do, even if we do the six degrees of separation, reverse engineer, it's always going to come down to that for you.

And a lot of times when we're justifying or resisting something, it's because that's about. You feel like that might be compromised, even if it's, you know, so it takes radical honesty with ourselves, but with compassion. The problem is, is most of us have no problem being radically honest with ourselves. But we usually beat ourselves up with judgment, shame.

You know, criticism, all sorts of things. And then we isolate and, you know, behave in things that don't serve us. So knowing that you're always going to be motivated by that and that, you know, even though you're motivated by that, like, because you do want it now.

Like you said, there's going to be an element of discomfort and our. And I have to do this too. Like, I'm in a season of this where it's like, I know I'm going to be powerful and strong. That's what motivates me. And in the meantime, in order to get that, I have to be in my biggest fear, which is the chances of vulnerability, betrayal and violation. And same thing for you as an enneagram, 7 that freedom, choices, options are all there.

Your biggest fear is being boxed in or caged in. And it might be required for a short period of time in order to have the freedom and choices, but we resist that short period of time because it's so radically uncomfortable. It is like our worst case scenario based on your enneagram type. So for you, really discerning, it's like, okay, I can do this for a season. And in your body and in your inner child, like, say, like, I know this is going to be uncomfortable. And I got you. It's going to feel like we are being locked in and caged in. And I promise you it's going to feel like that, but it's not that.

But we have to do this for the long game, to have exactly what we know. We want, we desire, we deserve. We kind of have to lean into it. There's no bypass. There's no way around it. There's no way to avoid it. And we. We will resist that because we're fricking human beings, you know, but that's the beauty of the Enneagram is like, knowing that roadmap is. It allows me to call bullshit compassionately on myself, on the daily.

With kindness, with gentleness, with honoring my inner child, with finding joy in the most uncomfortable parts of the journey. And also it forces me to be in community, which you're really good at. You know, Sevens are really good about, you know, having people around them, but having the right people around them that will actually speak truth into them. Because a lot of sevens, this is something that you'll have to watch is like, you like the exciting things around you. Oh, yeah. That won't hold you back, and that won't box you in. And there's a fine line between having people that will let you go rogue.

Yep.

Versus those that call you out when.

You need to be called out.

And yeah, like, most of my best friends are sevens. My. My daughter is a seven. Like, I completely get. Like, I have to be a wordsmith with you guys. Like, if my language at all indicates that I'm trying to box you in, I'm gonna lose you. And so we can speak, you know, so it's really important as a seven, you surround yourself with people that will speak life into you and honor your desire and everything about the freedom, choices, options, the adventure, all of it. And also say, and I'm going to wrangle you in for a moment because we want to do all the things, but if you don't focus right here for just a moment, for a season, for a short period of time, like, you're going to have to backtrack and clean up this mess. And I know that will kill your vibe. Yeah. Yeah. So really understanding that about yourself, but also surrounding yourself with people who see you, understand you, value that part of you, but also can see your blind spots a lot better than you.

That's helpful. Yeah. Almost like using my circle as my litmus test a little bit.

Yeah. I'll tell you a story I have there's not many people that will call me out. And it's not because I'm scary or anything like that, even though I can be. It's because, like, I'm really good at what I do and I am so self aware that I can justify and I can speak around a lot of it. And I had a friend two weeks ago, she goes, I know nobody's going to say this to you because they're afraid of you or they're not going to say this to you because, like, you do have. You are like Yoda for all of us. You are the 911 call for all of us. But I am not being a good friend to you if I don't say this to you. I'm like.

And at first, of course, I wanted to throat punch her for a moment.

Yeah.

For only, for only a second. For only a second. Because she was poking a bear at my vulnerability. Right. But at the same time, I've never been more grateful for people like that in my life. So that's, you know, word to the wise for you guys that are really wanting to do big things in this lifetime and make big impact and big wealth and get everything that you deserve and desire and do all the things like you have to surround yourself with compassionate truth tellers. Yeah, it's hard.

No, that's, that's really helpful because I also have a innate ability to justify and make it seem like I have reasons for everything versus someone being like, circle. Like, I have those people. Thankfully, you can sell it.

Yeah.

A little bit more.

Yeah, well, that's the thing. We can package it up and make it look all shiny and pretty and like, we got this shit going on and it's like, the motherfucker, are you here?

And so although I didn't like love that experience for a second, like, her words have gotten me into the action that, that I needed to take. So. All right, what's your next question, babe?

All right, I will jump into. Because we kind of brought up like inner child and that. So I'll jump into, like the big one. So.

Again, I, I have, like, I've done a lot of self awareness work. I've done a lot of everything. And recently it came to my attention, I was like, I'm blocking myself somewhere. What is it? And I realized that there was an aspect of my inner child that I hadn't really addressed fully. And it's four and five year old me. If anyone listens to my podcast, which is human on the daily, I have an episode where I talk about how, how no one escapes childhood completely unscathed. And in that episode I talk about how 4 and 5 year old me took many, many hits, mostly by being bullied by my kindergarten teacher. And then I was too.

God, I was too.

Yeah. And then you and I have talked about the fact that I have an enneagram one mother. So she took that information and never said anything to me. Just put me in a different school but like never addressed it. And so I think there's a lot that I've like hung on to. Like that was the very. Up until that point, that was the very carefree, free bird, super excited child. And I recognized that I since then have basically been telling four and five year old me to off and to be quiet. And once it's come into my awareness now I'm like, okay, like what is that trauma? Need let me tap in. Like, I literally have a photo of her on my fridge so I can see it every single day. And I still feel like I don't quite trust what I hear when I try to tap into her.

And when I. What I mean by that is I. I can't quite tell. Like it doesn't feel intuitively like it's her. It's almost like it's another protector part coming in. But I can't quite figure that out even with all the work I've done. And I have a feeling it's my enneagram7. Like not one like that. Avoidance, that of the discomfort. There's something in there.

Well.

You know, we've talked about it. The stress number for the enneagram 7, when you guys are disintegrating a little bit and kind of feeling radically uncomfortable, you do mimic an unhealthy enneagram7 which is very black and white and critical. Right? Which. Having an Enneagram one mom, like there's probably things you admire about her and also you know, all the other things. But I have a question. What is it your 4 or 5 year old is saying to you when you pop off with the off to her? What is she trying to say or express? Or what is she trying.

You mean when I try to tap in and see what she needs or when I realize that I'm have been saying fuck off or both, I guess.

Yeah, both.

So.

I really think so when I tap in.

Or I try to tap in, I. It's this mix. Right. Like I almost feel like I'm at odds with myself where it's maybe a protector part that can. Or something can shift. Shift her answer based on, like, what currently needs, because it tends to be a little too aligned that I'm like, that's weird.

And so I. I don't have many memories from childhood. And so that's, I think, adding into this as well, where it's when she's saying that she needs rest. Like, I literally got in trouble for never resting. So is that really what she needs? And so I start to second guess it.

And then the other thing that I'll bring in is the issue with trying to figure out how to give her what she needs in the capacity that I have right now. Right. Like, I can't necessarily be going out and buying a different paint or a different toy or a different thing. Right. So I bring that up because art often was an outlet at that age.

And.

Like, I live in a shuttle bus. I can't just have, like, an entire art studio as much as I would love one. So trying to find, really be able to hear her. And am I unintentionally shifting her voice based on where I'm currently at?

Well, it sounds to me like.

She was scolded for not saying slowing down, right? Is that what I'm hearing, like, a lot. Okay.

That was the. Yeah, that's the major bullying that I had in. In kindergarten was her pulling me aside, telling me I was a terrible child, and then also talking about me to other parents in front of me about my inability to sit still, my inability to, I quote, unquote, cooperate during nap time. Even though I, like, would sit there quietly playing by myself, I wouldn't nap.

So her. The. In the little girl in you that is saying she wants to rest or she wants to paint, like she's basically part of you is telling her to off because you don't want the kindergarten teacher to be right. I think.

There might be an element of rebellion there, I'm guessing, or like, that feels restrictive because of the messaging that the bully teacher gave you. And then, of course, mom just instead of addressing it like, you know, we're moving on, you know, let's sweep this under the rug and not talk about it. And so it's kind of been this. This thing where the seven is very rebellious, like, you will not box me in, and the little girl in you is saying, no, actually, I would enjoy rest and I would maybe enjoy painting. And no, you don't have to have this full art supply, but you could have a little trunk or a little caboodle of things. What the little girl in you that I'm hearing is saying she just wants to slow down enough to have some quality time with you. And the growth number of the enneagram 7 is actually the enneagram 5, which is solitude, quiet.

You know, for anything to take root. You know, the Sevens are big visionaries and big dreamers. And I think you as a four and a five year old were chasing that dreams and chasing those dreams and like that's childhood plus being an enneagram7. Like you think everything's a musical and everything's a playground and so. And that's innocence as well. Right. And you won't slow down enough because you do. You have this insatiable need to do all of it and God forbid, you know. Yeah, some structure, some kind of solitude is good for an Enneagram 7. But like a free spirited Enneagram 7 that feels like she's being boxed in will be like you all day long.

But when the little girl in you is saying, this is actually what I desire, she's trying to go to that five zone with you. But your old messaging, you're trying to rebel against that teacher. I think that drugs, you know, I.

Feel like in general, like my entire life, if I look back at it, there's a certain amount of like, okay, let's follow the rules because we like some structure and we're gonna rebel like when, if everyone's going left, we're gonna go right. If everyone's getting this brand, I'm getting a different one kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. And I get that. And you know, I think one of the things that I do when I'm trying to tap into my inner child, a lot of times it happens in movement through walking, which you know, we live in the same state. Right. So we can get out and do we live in a place where like that's at our fingertips at all times. Like we can just go outside and when I lace up my shoes, I, I very intentionally ask the little girl and you know, I have my 4 year old right here. You know, she's real close. I encourage you to make her the lock screen on your phone for a little bit because your phone's always with you. And you know, anytime you touch your phone, there she is to remind you, like we're in this for her. Like this is about her adventure that was robbed. Right. And so we're gonna trust that what she's telling me is true and we're not going to tell her to off anymore. It's like, okay, let's explore that. Let's explore that. So when I'm lacing up my shoes and I sit on my couch. I basically put that invitation out to this little girl. And you guys, I know listening can't see, but I'm holding up a cute little picture of me when I was four and I tell her, I'm like, we're going to go on a walk and this is all about you. And I'm not going to multitask. I'm not going to listen to a podcast, I'm not going to call a friend, I'm not going to work with clients. This is all about you. And you can be unfiltered, unapologetic. You don't have to worry that I'm going to tell you you're stupid or retarded. That's what my kindergarten teacher called me. And you can let your freak flag fly.

Oh, I love that. That's.

Yeah, I'm totally gonna feel that.

And whatever comes up is not manufactured, it's her. And then like I want you to imagine a four year old walking side by side with you. You wouldn't tell that 4 year old ever to off.

Let's try. Let's try. The other thing that I do sometimes is I. Art is a big part of my history as well. And especially when I'm feeling like I need to get in touch with her. I'll get a coloring book and I will start coloring with my opposite hand. Back to you. Remember when we're in kindergarten kind of slop. Yeah.

And you're kind of trying to figure it out.

Yeah. But also like asking her questions as I'm, you know, because I think especially when we're talking to a child and I guide people that have actual children doing this and try and you know, talk to them. It's like make sure it's not like this interrogations session. So like even when you're trying to tap into your inner child, if you're trying to force it, like, yeah, she's going to give you shitty answers and she's not going to give you the full truth. And so that's why like the walk, the coloring, puzzles, things like that, like, and say babe, like, there's no wrong answer. I want you to be unfiltered, unapologetic. And you don't have to worry that I'm going to think anything you say is stupid, silly, dumb, wrong. This is all about you and this time is for you.

And then see what happens.

Yeah, that told me because as you're speaking, I'm realizing that four and five year old me was starting to Recognize.

Like, so some of the hesitation or the lack of certainty that I feel in her responses might be because she doesn't know how she's going to be perceived 100%. And so I'm unintentionally thinking like, well, I can't.

Yeah. And the thing about being a 7 too is even though maybe some of that stuff wasn't said to you to your face energetically, you were picking up on it the whole time.

You feel it. I can feel other people's energy, like a hundred percent willing to like say it now, but like, if someone's not fully telling me the truth, I can feel, feel it. I'm like, could you just say it?

But here's the thing you have to remember, and this is for all of you that have done inner child work or are diving into it, which you should be until you're done here on Earth, because the inner child is running the show. Here is a lot of times we will look at the inner child and what they've experienced through our adult lens and our adult cognitive, cognitive beliefs and stuff. Whereas, like, I want you to go back and.

What would a four or five year old believe about that? Because that's your operating system, you know, you're in the rebellion, like protective parent mode for her. Right. Saying no, we don't do that. Right. But instead it's like, what would she have believed? She believed something was wrong with her, probably. Or like, I'm not going to be like everyone else or whatever she was believing. But the more that we can kind of like, okay, I understand from my age, like what that looks like. What would a four or five year old have believed, picking up on that kind of energy.

I love that.

That was a big aha for me. Like, you know, that was a big aha for me. And you'll.

The more that you do that, the more she's going to speak truth to you. She's, you know, it's just like any relationship, you have to be unconditionally committed and consistent with it. And the same thing goes with your inner child. The thing is, is most of us want to tap into our inner child because we want something from her. We need to heal. We need to have a breakthrough. So inner child, come on, I need you. Like, if you have ever tried to make a toddler do anything, they throw their body on the floor and have a tantrum. So what I recommend to everyone is start building that relationship unconditionally with a consistent every single day. That's why I say keep it on your phone, Keep her on your phone because she will be in your energy all the time. So that when you actually do need to tap into her, you've already built the trust and credibility that you do have her back because she's been running scared for most of her life.

How's that feel?

Really good. And a great reminder because I think you're spot on between me kind of forgetting that she didn't know how she was perceived then. And so I can't like that uncertainty. I can't make assumptions about it.

Yeah.

And the second part being that yes, I, I've totally been putting the adult lens on her experiences and what she wants as well versus stripping it down to truly four and five year old me.

Yeah. It's like every time I see because my, my age is like four or five that I remember very clearly making a shift. Like it was a very, like I, I remember it like it was yesterday and. But my, you know, I'm 50, almost 52. Like, you know, I sometimes look at it from the 52 year old version of it and whenever I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And every time I see a four or five year old, I'm like, oh my gosh, like really like surround yourself with 4 and 5 year olds as much as you possibly can to remind you, like understand how they start to believe things and imagine yourself and how cute little Dr. Megan as a four or five year old might have started. Belief systems based on that energy and. Because that's where it started and that's kind of where you've been seeking out that evidence ever since.

Yeah.

All right. You got one more question? Yeah.

Cool. Yeah, I got one more. And this is. So we've talked a little bit about my one on one sessions. I know the, the thing that I'm leaning into this year, one is speaking at more events, running my workshops. But the other is I actually want to run my own retreat by the end of the year and start building up that. So I've, I've done a little bit going down the rabbit hole as far as like how to sell and how to align things as a manifesto for my human design. I haven't really gone down the rabbit hole of tips and tricks to set up sales strategically for a seven that keep me from feeling caged.

Yeah. Well, the good news about you being a seven is you're very excited about it, Right? That's true.

Yeah. I don't shut up about it if I'm.

Yeah. And that's like great, like bravo. Great news. Like, you'll be able to sell it because your enthusiasm, excitement, they may not even understand what they're going to get out of it. But because they can feed off that energy. It's the gift and beauty of a enneagram7 is you're not going to have a problem selling it now, facilitating it. The full scope of a retreat is a whole nother ball game. If you can just do at the retreat what you do best, then so be it. But you're going to have to invest in surrounding yourself with people that can handle the, the logistics, the details, the things that. Oh yeah, life out of you, right? And, and no, like you're gonna have to sell this and then there's gonna be a waiting period, which you don't love that because you just wanna do it right now and you wanna, you know, all the things. But surrounding yourself or like, if you don't have it in, you know, the budget to staff it or pay somebody to do it, you're gonna have to be okay with some of your energy going to the logistics. It doesn't mean it's not worth it. But be okay with like, that's part of it. Unless you can surround yourself and surrounding yourself, if you can, with the people that are obsessed with details and logistics, because that's the thing you don't enjoy.

100. That's one of the things that I've already realized.

Maybe down the road, right? Like I'd be the, the founder, the facilitator and delegate and hire. But at least for the first couple times, one of the things that I want to do is find like a co host who can play. Like we can play on each other's strengths and weaknesses.

I, I've done retreats with other people that have strengths that can sell the. Out of it. I can sell things, but I'm not as enthusiastic. And part of me is like, it's vulnerable. So I don't love that aspect of it. I can do it and I can do it well when I decide to. But the retreats that I've done with other people, they don't like the heaviness of the work that I do, but they know how valuable it is and they bring the fun and the other part and they can sell it. And you know, every single one we did, we sold out. It was super profitable, super successful. And then we also had, you know, somebody that did some other stuff that filled the gaps of the other two of us. But if you're doing this on your own, know that there is going to be some energy leakage and it's okay. It's, you know. And this will also help you really align with what you want to do with this. Because if you're super passionate and you love this, it won't matter to you. So keep them small to begin with so it doesn't overwhelm you. So it does, it takes the fun out of it that even if you have to do some of the details and logistics and things like that that aren't your strength or the thing that you find enjoyable about this, if it's small enough, it won't matter. Yeah, it won't matter. And you'll be able to really fine tune what it is you want to do with these things.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, you're awesome. So let's talk about the retreats and the speaking that you're doing. So I know there's a lot listening, a lot of people listening that are intrigued by you and your wisdom and your just your path, your inspiring story of willingness to like go outside the box. There's a lot of people that like you said, want to dance whatever the dance looks like for them. So what do the speaking and retreats look like and where can people find more information about you and what you're going to be doing?

Yeah. So as far as where to find me, very active on Instagram, which is move on the daily. Daily is my last name. D A L E Y. And then in addition to that, the way that you can kind of get a feel for me, my voice, my story is my podcast which is human on the daily. So that was something I started about a year ago. So we're 50 episodes in and a top 10 podcast which is crazy and awesome. I actually just recently found that out unexpectedly that I hit top 10%. And.

Outside of that, I'm loving the speaking engagement. So I come into creating groups, I mean I've come into masterminds, retreats, online communities and I run, I almost run them like workshop style. I love kind of interactive or hot seat coaching kind of things where we can dive into really what actually is self care. Because as much as we want it to be facials and manis, it's not. And how to really figure out where are your blind spots? Where are you allowing expectations and shoulds and conditioning to drive the bus and who are you really and what. And what do you really want out of life? This is specific more to high achieving females. I tend somewhere it tends to be around in the 30s, but it's different ages for everyone that we start to realize like who am I really and how did I get here? Because I checked all the boxes but I don't have the happiness reward that I thought I would. So what now? So that's what I, in a nutshell. That's what I do when I come in and I do speaking engagements and workshops and I bring in my really unique blend of a very scientific background and very spiritual like, like western medicine meets woo woo. Right. So it's got the strategy, but it's also got the intuition and tapping in. And then the retreats, I really want those to be centered around again, high achieving women. And, and I actually love that you talked about starting small because I want them to be more intimate and really focus on self care, self forgiveness and inviting in that play and that authenticity. Because as adults we kind of forget how to play and how to tap into really who we are and again let go of the shoulds and that leads into needing the self forgiveness. And so I want it to be like a borderline wellness.

Like healing from the inside out. Heal yourself so that you can heal every aspect of you and, and then honestly heal others.

I love it. The workshop style that you do in your speaking engagements, like, like the hot seat coaching, how does, how does that play out for them? For those who may want to bring you into their.

Yeah, if it's a small enough group and when I say small enough, like 15 or less, then.

I, I have journal prompts. Right. So everyone gets to sit and do the insights based on. There's various things that I bring in. I honestly, I feel into the energy of the group and really what they need and allow that to kind of guide the prompts that I give in that moment. And then I create space for sharing because I fully, very strongly believe that we can all gain insight into ourselves by listening to other people's stories and their experiences and their breakthroughs. So throughout the workshop I'll open up the floor to anyone who feels called and open to sharing knowing that there are some people who will jump at that chance and there are some people who need to be the sit back and observe person. And so I want to be able to play into those different personalities and I, I find that incredibly helpful and people get a lot further insights from it.

Totally. I love some of the best coaching I've ever received is watching somebody else be coached. So I think it's super valuable. I love you, Megan. I think you love you and I just appreciate your transparency and vulnerability today. I know you definitely helped those of us that love Enneagram Sevens and those that are Enneagram Sevens or those that lead Enneagram Sevens make a little more sense of how to bring out the best in you and also pour into you in the way that makes you feel seen, heard, understood and valued every single day for who you are. I appreciate you you guys. If you love this episode, please share it. You can find Megan on Instagram at what is it? Move on the Daily. Yep D A L E Y on Graham and go check out her podcast Human on the Daily. I love it and we'll see you next time.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the lead with the Enneagram podcast. Please help us spread the word about this show and the Enneagram by sharing it with a friend and leaving a written Apple podcast review. If you have any follow up questions to this episode, you can DM me on Instagram @tracy underscore omalley. You can also find additional resources on my website@tracyomally.com. i'm so excited to lead you into the next level of your life.