EP415: The Spiritual Sabbatical Glow-Up

Well, hello. It's been a long time. There's no bumper, no intro music. There's going to be no outro music. This is just going to be a real conversation between me and you. And first and foremost, I want to thank many of you for reaching out and asking, like, what's going on with the podcast? Like, where are you? Are you releasing new episodes? What are you doing? What are you doing? And it is not lost on me that I have been a part of your journey over the last, gosh, four and a half years that I've been doing this podcast, over 425 episodes. I'm. I'm not sure exactly how many. And that being said, you know, it is a commitment and a labor of love. Love. And honestly, the greatest way that I can help impact more of you through my experience, through the wisdom that I have and all the things. And so it is never taken lightly that you value this, that you come back for more when you have millions of other podcasts you can listen to and know that I do this for you. None of this is about me. None of the podcast is about vanity or, hey, look at me. You guys know me. If you've been listening ever, or you know who I am, you know I am no fluffy bullshit, Period. End of story. And that being said, I have been in a year of a spiritual sabbatical, and ironically, but not really my word of the year, if you've listened, the first few months of the year of this podcast, Emerge was my word of the year. And, you know, my ego, my intention.

My plan was to come out guns blazing, quite honest.

Being the enneagram 8 that I am, that's usually the way that I emerge, right? And God is so funny sometimes. And he's like, yeah, that's cool, but hold my beer. I have other plans for you. Because what I've learned around what emerging means is something different than maybe I thought. And you know the thing with the Enneagram, many of you come to learn about the Enneagram, and I am always going to talk. Enneagram is my favorite tool. I am masterful in it. I am unmatched in Enneagram wisdom and integration, as you know. And that being said, I am always going to share it and teach it in ways that is not typical. There's no roadmap for the way that I use the Enneagram, the way that I teach it, the way that I help you integrate it in your life. And me just coming on here and giving you information, knowledge, not only do I Not think it benefits you most. Also, it sucks the living life out of me. I am not an information teacher, because if you're like me, I'm like, that's cool, Trace, but what the fuck is in this for me? What the is in this for me? And that is the kind of work that I'll always do, Whether it's with you here on the podcast or privately in my VIP clients or with teams and groups and families that I do work with. I'm always about the integration. I want you to always know that when you tune in to me or hire me or whatever it is with me, that you're going to get something out of it that you can take with you. Now let me take you back to the spiritual sabbatical. So I am a woman of faith. I believe strongly in a God and a power much greater than myself. In fact, it has been six months almost to the day since I have hit record or done anything live other than a speaking event or, like I said, my client work. And that has. That is the longest I've gone in the last 12 years without speaking. And it wasn't because of anything other than, like, how do I impact more of you with more value and also find fulfillment in myself, Because I could easily have a launch plan, a funnel, all sorts of shit that would scale my business and make me a hell of a lot of money that you'd come crawling back for. I know this, and that's just not how I roll. And so it was on my birthday, like, the few days before my actual birthday, that I recorded the last episode that I did. And I didn't know it at the time, but that was going to be the beginning of the immersive spiritual sabbatical. And ironically, today day I'm recording this on September 23rd, is my sober birthday, which actually was the day that I really, really said, no more am I going to live in a facade. No more am I going to live with masks on. No more am I going to do things because I'm supposed to, or this is how it's supposed to fucking look. 12 years ago, today was the day I said, no more of that. And as this whole world is now run by marketing, you know, and I'm watching so much shit out there that, God damn, they're really great marketers, and a lot of them do really shit work, and the bait and switch, and they're out of integrity. And this is not me necessarily taking their inventory, but this is me dealing with the carnage of that, right? I get a Lot of people coming to me after the PTSD from falling for that beautiful, beautifully executed, manipulative marketing, and then they realize I need the real deal. And here you are with me. Right? And so I don't think it's ironic that I decided to hit record on this day, because this day means everything to me. Without this day, 12 years ago, I'm not here with you. I may not even be here still. And that being said, going into a sabbatical is radically uncomfortable for me. As an enneagram8, we usually like to go aggressively towards things. We like to flex. Enneagram Eights love to show how strong and powerful they usually with their voices. Right? And that's how. I mean, I do have a beautifully powerful voice. I. I recognize this. And it's coming from a place of integrity and impact and honor. I know this today without any question in my whole being. I know that I am here doing beautiful work for all the right reasons. And that being said, in the climate that this world is in and the climate of this online entrepreneurial coaching space, I needed to kind of go inward. And I think that you probably are seeing some of the best of the best coaches and lightworkers out there, and Legends have been fueling up and arming up to come back out.

Some of my favorite lightworkers in this world and coaches in this world have taken a spiritual sabbatical because, especially as we go into quarter four of the craziest year, I think even more than Covid, the COVID year, I think that we're arming up and fueling up to show you what you actually need so you can see through the bullshit of a lot of the crap that's out there telling you what you need and selling you what you think you need and then leaving you high and dry. And this podcast moving forward will absolutely have lots of Enneagram in it. But we're going to talk about what it means to be legendary, right? Anybody can be a leader. You can do the right things, you can scale the businesses, you can make millions of dollars, all the things. And that's cool. But I'm here for the Legends, and I'm here to lead Legends, and I'm here to raise legends, which I am. And I think that in order to do that, we're gonna have to call some shit out. And I'm ready to. It's been a very quiet six months for me, at least online. I have been very active in my work, incredible work that I've been doing with teams and organizations and Individuals.

And with my inner circle, honestly, I've done some beautiful, beautiful work inside of that. I've been doing beautiful work in my home. There's been lots of transitioning happening in my household as I went from an empty nest to a full house overnight kind of thing. I have grandpuppies. And on any given day my house has become very loud in the most beautiful, loving, soul filling ways. And that's taken some adjusting for me because the enneagram8me loves to like, be the rock and you know, be the, the one who carries a lot of the weight. And I have. And I also had to call bullshit on myself, like, am I doing that in order to avoid this, the spiritual sabbatical? And I think there are many of you that maybe feel the need for a spiritual sabbatical, but like me, maybe we're a little fearful of it. You know, I'm, I'm human. And although I know my credibility and my reputation and the fucking work I beautiful in this world is unmatched. I know this. And also when you decide intentionally to take a spiritual sabbatical, which means it's taking you pretty much offline, other than the few pictures of me and my handsome man or a dog from time to time, or me in a yoga pose, I haven't used my voice online in six months, you know, like, like this, like this. And that's scary when your business is highly reliant on referrals and branding and, and it was a real humbling moment for me because I easily could manufacture shit to stay relevant online. I very easily could. And there were moments over the last six months where, you know, I was getting a little scared. It's like, oh my gosh, are, are people going to still hold me to high regard? Will people still remember what I'm here to do, the beautiful work I'm here to do?

And every time I was getting ready to hit record, I had to check myself. Am I doing this because I'm in fear or am I doing this because this is what I'm divinely called do? And every single time I was about to hit record, God was like, nope, nope. You need to trust. You need to trust. And that is not easy because I like to play my own hand from time to time. And I know you do too, right? So this is where discerning the sabbatical, whether this is the divine sabbatical versus the fear of the backlash of, of taking one spiritual warfare is no joke. And especially in the world we're living in right now with the election like 2m 2 months away and people getting scared and manufacturing all sorts of stuff to stay relevant. And now I'm not saying everybody out there showing up online is full of shit. I'm not saying that about 95% of it is, that's for sure. But the spiritual war for war warfare is no joke. And when I was sitting back and watching some of this take place, not necessarily with judgment, but I know the reckoning is coming. I know the reckoning is coming. And I also know that karma, karma is the most patient fucking gangster there is. And I know that, you know, a lot of the stuff that we're seeing and a lot of stuff that's being celebrated and bought, there's going to be consequences for that. And I did not want to participate during that time. And when it comes to emerging.

Something I realized, and I'll probably do a post about this because I think a lot of you can relate, that this is the calm before the storm. And even though the world feels very stormy right now, my world, my internal world especially, is calmer than it's ever been. And that being said, I don't like the calm. It makes me nervous. And I think my fellow assertive people, or the people who don't like to take a break.

Not knocking those that do like to take a break. But usually the calm means I'm going to get blindsided or I missed something or I feel weak, right when things get really quiet and calm, that feels very vulnerable to me. And that's usually when I will stir up a storm of my own. You know, in my past life, prior to 12 years ago, before I got sober, the storm storms I created were destructive, were hurtful, not just to me, but to people I cared about. And I have to restrain myself sometimes because the calm is. Feels way more disruptive than, than any storm in my life. And I realize that I have to recognize that the calm actually allows me to create storms that are more impactful, that do make waves, not just for my own life, but for those of you that trust me with yours. And that emerging can be something soft and gentle like I am right now, that it can be something so elegant and beautiful and trust me, still spicy as fuck and still edgy like I am. But it's kind of like when I had to recalibrate what strong and powerful Meantime, as an enneagram8, you know, my only modeling of that was very aggressive, very assertive, domineering.

And destructive from time to time and didn't think necessarily about the consequences of that whereas, you know, vulnerability.

Is actually the most strong thing I can be, you know, and. And embrace. And it took me a long time to really embrace that. And I'm not gonna lie in my body that still feels really, really scary. It not my favorite thing to do. However, as I've recalibrated that measuring stick and lean into that vulnerability and that strength, I'm more powerful than I've ever been. Not just for me and myself and my journey, and not just for those that I love here in my household, but for those of you that I've worked with or for those of you that have chosen to listen to the softer I get and the more vulnerable I get, the more powerful I am to walk alongside of you in this journey. And so when I giggled thinking back about my word of the year being emerged, that although it may appear that there is not shit emerging from Tracy o' Malley over here, there has been so much emerging from this spiritual sabbatical and more will be revealed. And I'm scared. I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared because I know the softer version of me. Even though, like, people that have worked with me over the last six months while I've been sabbatical have said I've never seen you softer and more powerful, it still feels very uncomfortable. You know, it's just like building any muscle. Like I've said to you before, you know, we don't decide the muscle is strong and there it is. We have to put in the reps. We have to be consistent. We have to do it compassionately. We have to meet ourselves with curiosity and kindness and compassion and all of the things in order to effectively build that muscle. And so that's what I've in the last six months and deciding how this looks moving forward, because I'm not here, you know, for random fake bullshit. I am only here to give you what I know you need. This is the beauty of me having as much experience as I do in the full scope of life, not just professionally, but personally and in parenting and raising kids that are in their late twenties at this point and going through a divorce and a recession and all the things that life brings with deaths and. And physical illness and that, you know, there's a beauty to being this age. And I only want to bring you what is absolutely valuable for you because we don't have time to waste here. And I don't want you wasting your time listening to a bunch of that just has my name on it just to stay relevant. And I'm going To show you what it means to be legendary and how to honor that and step into that. Because, yes, I know you're a leader. If you're listening to this, you're a leader. But I know you want to be legendary. And legendary people and legendary leaders know who the fuck they are on any given day. They know their vulnerabilities and they honor them. They don't shy away from that stuff. They bravely and courageously show it to the world. And. And here's the thing about legends. The more legends step into that, the more they're judged, the more they're hated, the more that they are abandoned. And that's probably the fork in the road that many of you are at. And I have been. It is very painful to face that fork in the road and know that the road that you know very, very well is where all the people that said they loved you are. The people that have been cheering you on, know you are. Know who you are down that road. But, you know, in order to be the legend that is inside of you, you have to go down that other road. And people will misunderstand it, they will misjudge it, they will talk shit about it. And I want you to know that you're not in this alone. And that's what this podcast will be. Moving forward, we're going to talk about legends. I'm going to interview legends. I'm going to document legends in this world. Some past, some present. I'm going to break them down by enneagram type and what makes them legends so that you have a more clear roadmap and navigation system when you are faced with your fork in the road because you're going to face more than one. You know you are that. When you're faced with that, you're not as afraid to take the path less traveled. I promise you, there's an army of legends waiting for you. But it's going to take that bravery, it's going to take that courage. It's going to take vulnerability and messiness and all the things that are required for you to be. The legend that I know is always inside of you. And that's. That's the truth. I believe there's a legend inside of all of us. I knew at an early age I had it in me. And yet I continued a lot of the time to take the path that I knew, even though I knew that I would probably get stuck there. I didn't want that, but that's all that I knew. And the fear of the unknown was way Scarier than taking the road that I've traveled before that came with abuse and drama and pain. Like, at least I knew what I was getting right? And I know for a lot of you, that seems like the better option. And I promise you this, it's not. Not for you to be the legend you are. Not just out in the world making impact, but also in the homes that you have, the people that you love, people that you're raising. Especially, you know, they. My kids are probably.

When I do get scared and when I want to take the other road, the road that they know, too, I look at them, and if I want them to be the legends that they are, then I best go first. And I know that you are here to do a lot of beautiful work in this world. I know you are. And I know that even though it comes with pain, sometimes being a legend, I sleep a ton better at night knowing that I'm honoring my call, you know, and sometimes you got to be called out to be called up. It takes a very brave soul to do that. And I know that you are brave. And I know that if you are listening to this right now, you're ready when the student is ready, the teachers, the tools, the timing appears. And it is not lost on me that now is the time and now is the time.

I don't know how frequently I'm going to be recording these in the next few months. I am doing a whole new emergence. I've never been somebody who branded themselves visually. I mean, I do have a brand, obviously, I'm edgy. I'm all the things like that, you know, and have come to respect, but I haven't had a visual kind of brand to match that, you know, in the rooms that people know me and, yeah, like, they know that, but there have been a lot of rooms where my name is dropped. They go to my socials, my website, and it's like, really? Is. Is that the same person you were just saying is edgy and elegant and all those things? And so I have been working with somebody most of this year, and my branding has been done for a few months now. And I a same thing, like, been ready to emerge with that. But again, I honor the divine timing. I do. I have been honoring the spiritual sabbatical. And so even though there isn't a rebrand or anything like that, I didn't also want to come out with, like, all of a sudden, here's this brand. I. I'm just not that kind of girl. But I want to pay homage to the journey of the last 24 years as an entrepreneur before, I just like, hello, here's the new meat. Like, like, I'm not gonna do that shit. I'm just not. Because everything that has brought me to this beautiful digital image of who I am, what I represent, and what I can do for you in your life, none of that is true today without paying homage to the journey of the last 24 years of entrepreneurship, personal development for 24 years, recovery, parenting, self reflection, self honoring. And so the next few weeks, I think, is gonna be just paying hom the journey. And before I can just give you all the goods of what it takes to be a legend for you, I think it's important for you to hear how I took myself through the journey. The best coaches have walked the journey. They're taking you through fully, fully. And I've done it all personally and professionally, and I'm excited to take you on that journey. And also to honor where I've been, the messiness, the fearlessness in which I chose the roads that nobody was down. I chose the roads that not only were they not cheering for me, but they made me an outcast. They called me the black sheep. They called me self righteous. They called me all the fucking things that it takes sometimes to do the honorable thing in your journey. And so for the next few weeks on this podcast, there'll be no intro, no outro, no fancy music, not even really a call to action, but to honor this journey so that you feel like you can take the courageous steps to really go forward in the journey, to bring you to legendary. And there's so mar. So much over the last 24 years that I want to share with you. That the moments I was scared, the moments that I went down the other road that was more well known, the consequences of that, and also the pain and the heartbreak it takes to embrace when you go down the roads that nobody's cheering you on for and there's nobody there to light the way. So we're going to do that over the next few months. And I'm not sure when the new branding of this podcast will come into play, but it means the world to me that you're here. That maybe even when you saw a new episode come out today that you got excited and you're like, yes, I'm gonna hit play. I know that when she speaks, there's something valuable there. I'm not just gonna do it to do it. I'm only gonna do it because I know it can help you and impact you. And so more will be revealed.

I'm excited and I'm nervous. I'm a little rusty. I apologize with podcasting. There were absolutely no notes here. This is just me kind of going off and and honoring the journey this morning. I was down and probably scared to hit record, but as you know, I really went inward and did some meditation this morning and checked myself like is now the time. It was a very clear yes, messy and all, but I think Today being my 12th sober birthday is a beautiful day to.

Really emerge the softer, more elegant, gentler but fierce as fuck version of myself. And I hope that you come along for the ride. Like I said, no call to action. You know where to find me if you really need that support right now. I have some space a little bit, but no call to action other than keep tuning in if this hits you let me know. If you have some things you want to be talked about that have been bugging you out in the world that you want my take on, go ahead. Ahead and DM me. You can still find me on Instagram at tracyomalley. You can still find me online on my website. It's getting reconstructed a little bit to reflect more of what you feel and see here@traceeomalley.com and if you love this, please share it because we are emerging honorably with passion, with compassion, with elegance, with edginess. All of it. More will be revealed. And so it is. I love you. I appreciate you. I could not do this without your love and support and it means the world to me that you have hung in here and you've asked where I've been. I know I'm ready and I know you are too. So let's do the damn thing. And so it is.