EP416: The ELITE don't wait in line. It's not what you may think...

Outro, we are just gonna hit record and go. I'm so thankful for all of you that have messaged me and, and given me feedback on my first episode back last week after my six month spiritual sabbatical of not hitting record, of not speaking live and really honoring that divine call, no matter how uncomfortable it was. And even discerning if this was self sabotage or maybe in scarcity or in fear, or if this actually was discernment. And if you haven't listened to the last episode, go listen to it. It's really, really powerful. Especially if you're like me and struggle to.

Honor that call or discern the call or if you're so afraid to step out and take some time to really figure out what you're here to do, what the next step is.

Yeah, it's powerful. And if you're like me and somebody that prefers to just like take action and manufacture energy and do all those things, I, I know especially that will be really hard for you. And also for those of you that do tend to hide a little bit more, it is equally as beneficial for you because you guys need a spiritual sabbatical, maybe a different way than you're used to Today's episode. If you read the title, it's not what you think. It sounds a little pretentious, but I promise you it's not. When I talk about the elite don't wait in line. And this can go personally or professionally, but it's something that when I'm working with people one on one specifically, you know, whether they're coming to me for business strategy and coaching and, or team coaching or family coaching, coaching or you know, work with a spouse or a partner. This is something that's really, really scary. Especially if, you know, there are people, places and things in your life that you're holding on to because you're afraid that if you let them go or let it go, when will that space get filled by the bigger, better thing, right? And the elite don't wait in line.

Again, not to ment. Not meant to sound pretentious or entitled or narcissistic or any of those things. That's not at all what it means. But if you think about it like I've used this example before, I think like I like. Well, I don't like to go to Disneyland. I know, don't hate on me. But if I go to Six Flags, let's say, because I love the big shocker, enneagram8 loves the adrenaline, not so much anymore. But.

I don't like to Wait in lines. Honestly, I really, really don't. So I always get whatever the vip, fast pass anything kind of thing is. And it's not because I think I'm better than anyone else, but I want to get to all the things I want the best of the best to happen as fast as possible, whether it's on a roller coaster or for a show or even an airplane seat. Honestly, I'm not saying you all need to go buy first class tickets because you don't. But I like to. Not because I, I look better sitting in first class, but I like to get off first. I like to get where I need to go. But what this episode is about in this chat with you is about today, about the elite waiting in line. The elite don't wait in line means is this when we want something bigger, better, greater, when we know we want to call in.

Dynamic relationships, whether it's romantic or friendships or business partners or anything like that, or we want better health or we want more money, or we want amazing opportunities, it's going to require you to make space for it. And I have this old friend of mine and she was notorious for this. She would hang on to romantic partnerships that were so freaking shitty for her, and it doesn't have to be this extreme, but really, really, really shitty for her. And she would always tell me, and of course like the truth that I am, I do it much more gently but equally as direct and loving and.

Intense. Sometimes I'm like, why would you ever hold on to this person if you know they're not good for you? Right? And I want you to think about this in your life. Not necessarily a romantic partnership, but parts of your business, colleagues, friendships, right?

Why would you hang on to this? And she would always say, well, it's something to occupy my time until Mr. Wonderful comes along. And I would tell her, and I've told many of my private clients, like the elite, don't wait in line. The best possible.

Thing, person, opportunity, will not wait in line. While you are entertaining what isn't for you. And I remember a few years back, I've been in therapy for, you know, I've been through nine therapists over the last 28 years and my therapist, my most recent one, that I love and keep in my life when I was on a dating sabbatical, you know, after I got sober and changed my life really radically, you know, I wiped out all of my social relationships except for my kids. And, you know, we were going on four or five years of not going on one date, not exploring Any options. And you know, again, I had to kind of discern. Is this because I'm in fear, scarcity, a vulnerability, kind of resistance, whatever. And I remember her telling me, and she was like, trace, I think you should practice dating. And I'm like, okay, with all due respect, Nancy, I love you. And again, I had to really take an inventory and check myself because was I being afraid and just avoiding, right? Or what I said to her next was my truth. What I said to Nancy was this. Nancy, I promise you I know how to date. And I promise you that I want to have somebody special in my life. However.

And I am not going to be so busy and distracted and block what is coming for me. I. By entertaining what isn't for me. And I meant it and it was true. And also I. I also needed to take action, right? We can't just sit and pray or I'm going to manifest some shit. I'm not. I'm going to manifest this relationship that I want, or I'm going to manifest this business opportunity or friendships, or like, we can't just say it and then do nothing and expect it to knock on the front door. So I heard what she said. I said, I understand that, but I'm not going to be so distracted by what isn't for me that I miss the beautiful thing, person, opportunity that is for me when it shows up. And she's like, okay, I hear you. And sure as shit, like, I recognize where I maybe wasn't taking action to let God in the universe know that I was ready for it. And so I started to. And ironically, you know, my relationship that I'm in and will finish out my life in.

Showed up a few weeks later, right. And I would have missed it if I was busy with what isn't for me. And so where are you in your life? I also do this in business, and this one's a little harder for me. And I know it might be harder for you. The relationships are hard, don't get me wrong. Friendships, I've had this with friendships. I had a friendship divorce in recent years, a few of them actually, that were really, really painful. And even though energetically, I knew, in fact some of the hard conversations I had in those friendships in the weeks, months, and yearly leading up to, you know, the friendship divorces, I knew energetically that they had run their course. And these were all really incredible people. They had their shit just like I do. Like, we all have our stuff, but energetically I knew that they had run their course. It doesn't Mean, I was better than them, but I knew what I wanted in friendship, and I knew what I wanted in support, and I was resistant to letting these ones go. And so, you know, I can't call in or make time or have the energetic output ready for those solid, beautiful friendships that I wanted. If I'm entertaining the nonsense that isn't for me anymore, again, has nothing to do with those people. And the. The universe and God has a funny way of.

Holding you accountable and making you put your money where your mouth is. And of course, the mass exodus of those relationships that I had already kind of energetically pulled away from, and I'm sure made those people feel abandoned in some sort of way. Consciously or subconsciously, the universe took care of that and God took care of it. And it was very painful. It was a very painful lesson of something that I coach all the time, is that the. Those elite friendships that I so deserve and so desire were not going to wait in line until there was space for them. So the mass exodus came out, and sure as some of the friendships that I had probably had in more of the acquaintance or outer parts of my inner circle all of a sudden moved to the very front line, the elite ones. And I can tell you this, thank God I went through that. It was very painful. Um, a lot of grieving went through that, a lot of hurt that I probably could have prevented had I just, you know, energetically, completely, not just pulled back, but. But completely severed these relationships that are the best I've ever had in my life. I have the most incredible female friendships in my life today because of that energetic space. The space got moved. The elite move forward now. Business. Let's talk business for a minute. And for those of you that have a business and you might have money coming in, or you want more money coming in, or you want bigger and better opportunities, or, you know, you're made for more. You know, the calling that's on your life is bigger than what you're doing right now, yet you're still holding on to maybe some offers that you do. You are yesing yourself into rooms that, honestly, you've far outgrown. But, you know, it's lonely when we're not doing things or a lot of those people have become your friends, and they can still be your friends. This last year, I have removed myself from a lot of rooms that I used to entertain. Not again. Because there's anything wrong with them. Absolutely not. Some of them are amazing friends of mine that, you know, put on amazing workshops and, and events and Retreats and all sorts of things. And I also know that the elite thing that I want for my life and my business and my offerings and the calling that's on my life, I can't be preoccupied and energetically bankrupt from going to those things anymore. If I want the elite thing, the elite opportunity, the elite room for me to be in, to show up, right? You have to leave room for the miracles in your life. Another thing about certain offerings, maybe that you're doing, they are cash cows or they're a guarantee or like me, they don't require as much vulnerability, right? I have been doing private one on one coaching and have no problem filling that and I love it. I will always do private one on one coaching. In fact, if this is an area that you struggle in with letting things go so the elite things and people can move into your life, I highly recommend doing some work with me. The VIP coaching that I do, we do strategy and business coaching as well as, you know, finding harmony in your personal life because this is showing up in your business and your, your personal life, your professional and your personal life.

And doing the private one on one coaching is amazing again. And I will always do it. And I can carry a very hefty coaching load. I can, I am notorious for it and I can do it and do it very, very well. And I also know that carrying the heavier load blocked me energetically from doing some of these other things or being available for some of the other things that I know are more elite, more in line with the calling that's on my life. And so I've had to scale back the number of coaching clients I will take on or the number of companies that I will go in and dig deep with. Right? It requires space for the elite to move forward. Remember, the elite doesn't wait in line. They will move on to where there is space for the next thing that is ready and available for it. You know, when, when you're dating, if you are overly available and overly accessible, guess what? Usually that person, although it might be exciting at first and they may feel needed and you might feel needed and all the, the juicy things that come in the, the honeymoon phase of anything, whether it's a relationship or even business collaborations.

You know, it may wear off if you're overly accessible and overly accommodating, right? And then the elite will be like, no, like I'm willing to work for it, but I'm not willing to wait in line if you're, if you're saying you want this, but there's not the space for it, then I'm not gonna do it. But it's really easier said than done, right? Whether it's money or companionship or loneliness that is the battle for you. The, the certainty, the significance, the control even, right? It's really, really hard to live in that wilderness space. The, the purgatory, the, that comes with like saying that is no longer for me and I will be available and waiting until, until I remember that there were times, you know, and I, like, at this point, I have no problem kind of surrendering and accepting and allowing that this isn't for me anymore and letting it go personally and professionally. And that being said, I also tried to negotiate with God. I was like, okay, I've been, I've been a good girl and I have been obeying, you know, the divine appointments and the calling and the knowing and the alignment. Now how about you show up right now, right? How about you show up right now to reward me for being such a good girl? And that's not how it works. That's not.

Truly accepting and allowing that. The divine timing is way more wise than you. And I will say this, like, as uncomfortable as it has been personally and professionally to make room for the elite to show up in my life, in my relationships, friendships, business, money, all health, abundance, all of it, although it's very radically uncomfortable in the waiting and the not knowing when it will show up or how it will show up, even when taking the action to show God in the universe that like, yes, I'm available for it.

There's, there's muscles that get built in the waiting. There's muscles that get built in the accepting and allowing that. I trust, I trust that when it's ready, I will be rested, I will be ready, and I will be a hell yes when it does show up. You know, when my, my guy showed up, although it terrified me, it still terrifies me for four plus years later.

I was like, this is a fuck yes. This is a fuck yes on all levels. And it's going to require me to be vulnerable and to not pull out and not distract myself with something that isn't for me. Same thing with, you know, opportunities. Like when Google showed up, like, thank God I had the space and room for the miracle to happen so that when they gave me a date, it was a fuck yes. Right? And even now, you know, certain speaking things, I've said no to a lot of things where I was like, easily somebody that did 15 to 20 speaking engagements a year and I've really scaled back so that when the elite shows up, I'm not only available on my calendar, but I'm available energetically and I'm not burnt out and my best stuff will come out. That is also why, like, I took the sabbatical that I really did not want to, felt very uncomfortable doing because I wanted to be available for you and, and really have the elite part of me show up for you. But are you ready for it? Are you ready for it? Have you allowed yourself to be in the uncomfortable until. Until.

Now? There are things that are going to, when you're doing this, there are going to be things that come up that try to test you, right? You know, shiny objects, handsome men, handsome women, or beautiful women.

A beautiful opportunity, a new friendship, all those things that might come up. And, and you have to really be in your inner knowing, not just in, like on paper this looks really great, but in your whole body. Now if you have a lot of nervous system dysregulation or even some trauma in your life, this is going to be harder to discern. And that's why I said, like, if you struggle doing this in your life.

You might need some help. And I absolutely have a few spaces available for private one on one coaching. You can go to my website, traceyomalley.com fill out an application. Because it's this time of year that this really gets activated. You, you know, we're in quarter four, the holidays are coming, we're around family more. So this gets really, really activated. Especially around this time of year. This is the time of year I get really, really busy because you realize, like, oh shit. I know there's this calling on my life relationally.

You know, professionally. And I've got this clutter in my life and I'm not trying to call people clutter, but you know what I mean? You know what I mean. I've got this, this stuff hanging around that I know isn't for me. How do I consciously, energetically, beautifully, elegantly disconnect from this without as much disruption as there can be? You know, I've had no problem in my life. When I'm done, I'm done. Like energetically. I could cut the cords, no problem. However, I would usually blow it up. And it wasn't so elegant, right? It was destructive, it was painful, it was hurtful, it left a lot of wreckage. It hurt people's feelings unintentionally, sometimes intentionally. If I'm being honest, back in the day. Because, you know, if you, if you really blow it up, it, those cords are severed, right? It doesn't have to be as destructive. It doesn't have to be as destructive. And also, big asterisk here. We have to understand that it's not always going to be well received, even when we're beautifully elegant, graceful in that disconnect. People have their own shit. And people will have a narrative about you. And people might even talk shit like has happened to me. People might even spread rumors. People might even.

Like, sabotage your life in some ways. And when you're going through that, this is when you really need somebody in the trenches with you. For sure. I'm so thankful that I made room by those, by exiting those other friendships in my life, because during the spiritual sabbatical, I have needed my support more than ever. And as somebody who doesn't require a lot of support.

I needed it. And we all need support in some way. We really, really do. And if you want the elite support in your life, you also have to make room for it financially. Are you spending money on shit like, look at your Amazon account, Seriously, you know, especially if you require a need support or you want to hire somebody like me to have in your life, like, can you not afford it? Because you have been, you know, hitting Amazon two times a day to kind of get the dopamine rush, or you're talking yourself into thinking you need certain things, you need things, you need things, but what you really need is support. And you have drained your bank account, bank account of things or other coaches or events or things that you think you need. And you are blocking the elite kind of support or the elite coach that can help you get you further, faster, more divinely led than you ever thought possible. I've done that, too. And I want you to know you're not alone. It takes building a spiritual muscle and an emotional muscle to do this. Like I said, I'm not going to say that this is ever easy or without pain. However, we can build the muscles strong every single day so that when the real big things show up, like, again, it's not easy. It's like doing squats at the gym. I. When I get weight added onto that weight rack, it's hard, it hurts, it's heavy, right? And when you're in the gym, the spiritual gym, the emotional gym, the nervous system gym, every day, putting the reps in consistently, it does get easier. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean it's uncomfortable or it's not comfortable. It is, it's. It's very uncomfortable. And every single time you do it and every single time you show up consistently to make room for the elite thing, person, place, opportunity in your life, those muscles you've been been building in the uncomfortable space, in the loneliness, in the looking at the bank account going, holy shit, like, where? Where? What the hell am I doing right? Building those spiritual, emotional, physical.

Nervous system muscles will allow you to step into that elite time.

And allow for it and know, and more importantly know that you are worthy of it. You deserve it. It is one thing to just desire it, but knowing you are deserving and worthy of it, that's a flex that many of you think you have handled, but you don't. And if you're holding on to people, places and things in your life that are not maybe the elite level that you desire, you do need some support because you can bullshit yourself, you can gaslight yourself, and none of that is going to bring the elite to you. None of it. And so having somebody in the trench with you, especially when it's lonely and having them on speed dial is super helpful again, put in the reps one day at a time. Building these muscles will allow you to accept it.

I am in that wave right now. It is so painful. I feel like I'm doing, you know, a thousand pound spiritual squats every day. You know, I walk my talk and it's still fucking hard. And that's, that's kind of who you want in your corner, that's who you want in your friendships, it's who you want in business partnerships and opportunities. It's what you want in your health. And, and so you can't just say you want it. You have to prove that you want it. Until, until. And with this podcast, I'm very excited because I, I figured out what I want to call it. We talk about being a legend all the time. And, and like I said, you know, legends are the elite. And legends really allow this uncomfortable time to happen so that, that those things can move in, so they can step into the legend that they are. And I know that is for you. And the legends journey is what this podcast will be moving forward. Not only will I share little snippets like this about what legends do and how we operate and what that looks like integration, not just like that, but like giving you tips and tools on how to a little bit at a time, you know, so you can get started, maybe even on your own, to find the courage and the bravery to actually reach out to me and say, trace, I'm ready. I want to be a legend. I know I have a legend. Inside of me. You have three, by the way, which we'll talk about on another episode. But you'll be ready for it. You'll be ready for it. Also on this podcast, I'll be interviewing people that I think are legends. I am not here to bring the most popular people on or, you know, do that. I, you know, if.

If I bring somebody, I think they're a legend, and we will break down, like, who they are, how they're wired. We'll talk about the Enneagram and their tri types and all the things that kind of make it easier or use it as their navigating system to be legendary, even when it's hard, even when it's lonely, even when it's triggering and all the things. And then a cool part that I'm going to be adding to the podcast is kind of investigative documentary on people that have either died or alive. Pop culture, sports, thought leadership. People that I think are legends. And I'll break down who they are, how they're wired, their Enneagram type, their tri type, all the things so you can kind of see, you know, when you are admiring these people and why you think, like, you can't be like them. I'm going to kind of bring it into the frame where you can see that you're not that much different. The only difference is, is they understand that the elite doesn't wait in line. So moving forward, I'm excited until I figure out what that fully looks like. You're going to get the solo episodes without music, without an intro, without an outro, just me kind of hitting record, bringing what I know that you need to hear, even if it isn't what you always like to hear. I promise I will do it as softly, gently, and with love as possible. They don't call me the Velvet Hammer for nothing. You know, I'm going to probably wallop you between the eyeballs sometimes, but just know that it is always with the utmost love. And because I know and I see the legend that's inside of you, it would mean the world to me. If you have gotten anything from 416 episodes with me, honestly, take a few minutes to leave a review on any of the platforms you listen to. It would mean the world to me. Honestly, I'm not somebody that needs that. However, I want more people to get access to the real shit here. Not the fluffy stuff, not the. The stuff that people don't need. I want. I want the right ears to fall into my vortex over here in this podcast space and in the online space so that we can serve more, make bigger impact, and the elite legends can rise. I'm excited to see where this takes us on this journey together. Any kind of questions that you have, you can always find me on Instagram, at Tracy underscore, O' Malley on LinkedIn, on Facebook, at my website@tracy O' Malley.com. if you know you're ready to be the legend that is inside of you, fill out an application to have six months with me. Six months of diving deep, being in the trenches together, helping you consciously, energetically break off the things that. And the people and the. The. All the things personally and professionally that aren't for you, so we can make room for the elite to show up in your life. I'm honored, and I see you, and I look forward to our journey together. We'll see you soon.