EP425: Resistance in Disguise You Justify It. The Enneagram Exposes It.

All right, let's cut the bullshit. You're not stuck because you don't know what to do. You're stuck because Resistance has shapeshifted into something you trust. It sounds like your intuition. It feels like strategy. It wears your fucking face. And if you're not paying attention, you'll call it wisdom. You'll call it discernment. You might even call it, this is my Enneagram type. But here's the raw truth. Resistance hijacks the exact survival pattern your Enneagram type was built to perfect.

It feeds off your virtue.

It flatters your strengths.

It seduces you with productivity, perfection, kindness, logic, peace. Also, you never have to feel the fear beneath it. That to do list you keep rewriting. Resistance that need to be liked before you lead Resistance, that I just want to help people. That somehow never includes yourself.

Yep. Still resistance.

And here's the kicker.

It will keep you so busy, so useful, so admired, that you won't even.

Realize you're burning your purpose at both ends.

But let me be clear about something else.

The Enneagram is not your excuse.

It is your edge. It's not just a breakdown of your wiring and your operating system. It's a fucking weapon when used in truth. A mirror that exposes your sabotage and a map that points you to your.

Highest, most impactful soul rooted self.

When you stop using your Enneagram type to justify your patterns and start using it to reclaim your power, that's when.

You become dangerous to Resistance. So today, we're not here to fix you. Never here to do that. We're here to free you. We're naming the exact way Resistance cloaks.

Itself in each Enneagram type and how to call it out, cut it off, and come back to the edge that was always yours. Let's go. Hey. Hey.

And welcome to the Enneagram Edge. I'm your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

Enneagram expert leadership coach, recovering control freak, and your personal translator for the shit you keep repeating but don't totally understand yet. Now, if you're new here, buckle up. This is absolutely not another fluffy Enneagram podcast where we talk about how sweet it is to be an Enneagram, too. And bake cookies for your friends.

No, this is the real deal.

This show is about using the Enneagram as a tool for transformation. Not just information, and definitely not some party trick. Because knowing your type is cute. But embodying your highest expression, that is where your edge is. Every week, I'm bringing you the truth behind the types and the hype how to stop self sabotaging, lead like a damn legend and actually understand the people in your life without wanting to scream into a pillow. Or if you're an enneagram8 like me, not throat punch someone. We'll talk about leadership, relationships, business, healing, high performance, and why couples therapy isn't working. But fully understanding your Enneagram blueprint might just save your marriage. I'll drop solo episodes behind the curtain coaching, and the occasional rant when someone calls the Enneagram just a personality test. So if you're ready to stop playing small and start showing up with unshakeable clarity, confidence, and compassion for yourself and others, this is your space. You've got an edge. Now let's use it.

All right. Welcome back to another episode of the Enneagram Edge. Today we're talking about resistance.

I was reading this book called do the Work. I think it's by Stephen Pressman. If I'm going off memory, it's really, really good. You should check it out. It's a very quick audible read.

So we're going to reframe how we think about resistance because, you know, there's. There's two sides to it. You know, resistance isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it's a really good thing. Think about like how we build muscles. In order for our muscles to grow and expand, we have to add weight onto the rack, right? For our emotional muscles to grow, we have to add resistance and challenge ourselves. And there's this sneaky part of resistance that keeps us stuck. So we're going to kind of talk about all of that today. I'm going to go into each Enneagram type and what that might look like for each Enneagram type. So this can be really helpful.

It's kind of like this fast pass.

To getting to the root of things. If you don't know your Enneagram type.

Or if you've taken an online assessment.

Before, those are inaccurate. As you have heard me say before, you can go to tracy o'malley.com, get your accurate enneagram blueprint. So this will help beeline and accelerate your transformation. So let's reframe how we think about resistance. It isn't always fear or procrastination. You know, in fact, it more often than not, especially if you're someone who gets things done and you know on the outside you have like the receipts.

To show this is all working out for you.

Resistance can look like over functioning. You know what I mean? It hides inside logic, inside planning being helpful or productive. It can even wear the mask of, like, kindness and ambition and spiritual awareness. This is where some spiritual arrogance can kind of get in the way, and this is one I have to be careful of. Steven Pressfield, do the work, said it best. Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing the work that matters. So it will use your Enneagram wiring against you. Right? And this is what I. What I mean when I talk about, like, the same things that are your superpower, you know, on your. Based on your Enneagram type, can be the absolute kryptonite in your life. Resistance is kind of, you know, the Enneagram wiring can. Can do this to you. So it's very strategic. It knows exactly where your wiring and your operating system was shaped to survive and not necessarily shine. And there was a time in my life.

Like last year, that it felt like a masterclass in resistance. You know, on paper, everything looks good. I have a full calendar. Even though I'm not necessarily showing up on social media. I have people helping me, you know, all the things, right? But my resistance was in this overthinking, right? This reverse engineering.

I know so much.

I know so much that I have to know more.

You know, like that information, analysis, paralysis.

And underneath, honestly, it's fear dressed up as disciplined, and that's resistance in disguise. And the Enneagram, you know, can show us how we're adapted, but it also shows us how we can break free. Once you recognize the voice of resistance, and here's the really important part of this is when we recognize the voice.

Of resistance, what most of us do is annihilate ourselves.

We emotionally beat ourselves up. We pull out the whipping stick. Shame, criticism, judgment. That won't help, right? The only way to recognize the voice of resistance and leverage all the things about our Enneagram type to turn it into the superpowers is. Is with compassion, kindness, curiosity. Right? And consistency. So let's name what that voice sounds like for each Enneagram type, because I think it's really, really important. And, you know, if you've done any work with me with the Enneagram or listen to.

My. My podcast before, more than one might sound familiar to you, you know, when we talk about, like, the tri type or, you know, our growth or stress numbers. So, you know, that's why it's important to understand and have your accurate Enneagram type to use this as the compass. But, you know, whatever your core Enneagram type, this is going to be the root of what is at. At the core for you when it comes to resistance. And this isn't about shame. This is about awareness, compassionate awareness and power. And when you can name the resistance, you take back your edge. All right, so let's get into it. The Enneagram One. You guys know it as, like, the reformer, the strict perfectionist for the topic of resistance. I'm going to nickname you guys the Virtuous Overachiever, because you've got a checklist for your checklist. You don't move until it's perfect. And Resistance loves this because the more you tweak and polish, the less you kind of kick into action. You tell yourself it's about integrity and high standards, but really it's fear of being wrong, fear of letting someone down, fear of judgment. So what do you do if you're an Enneagram one? You move anyway. This is about taking, like, contrary action sometimes. And this is why, like, understanding your framework is really important, too. Because to go towards your growth number, it's going to feel uncomfortable. This is why the wings are really important, because it's easy for me to just say, move anyway. Let it be imperfect. Let it be done. The world doesn't need more perfect. It needs real. That's real nice on paper, but actually integrating that, it's going to require you using and leveraging the framework of your type. So your wings, your growth number, your tri type. All right, For Enneagram Twos, you guys are called the Considerate Helper. For this episode, I'm calling you the Helpful Hustler. Right? Because you're so busy helping everyone else that your own calling is starving. Resistance will tell you that you can get to it later, that this is more important. They need you right now. But later never comes. And then you get resentful and angry, and you're kind of like waving this invisible white flag, hoping somebody sees it, right? You think your worth lives and how needed you are, but underneath it, you're afraid. Actually, no one will choose you if you stop choosing them. So what does an enneagram2 do again? I know sounds really great on paper, and you can journal and all the fucking things about it, but this is where integration of Enneagram is going to become really important for you. Prioritizing yourself. Easier said than done. Enneagram Twos unapologetically doing so. Not after. Not eventually. Now, you know you've heard that you can't fill from an empty cup. It's a very cute metaphor and cliche and all the things, but it is imperative, especially for Enneagram Twos. This is where your wings will really come into play. Because the two in you will will justify why your needs come last. And that's your resistance for the Enneagram Threes. You guys are the competitive achievers for this episode. I'm calling you the strategic chameleon.

For most of us looking at Enneagram Threes, it never looks like they're resistant to anything because they just like see goals and hit a goal. But I know my Enneagram Threes want to believe that too. Because you guys can pivot into any role, any strategy. But sometimes resistance for you shows up dressed as optimization. If it's not scalable, visible, or on brand, you delay it, right? You guys like to do the measurables. And you bypass some of the energetics. You bypass some of the feeling. You bypass the soul sometimes. But here's the truth for you guys. Your performance does not equal your purpose. And chasing admiration and accolades keeps you from alignment.

So what do you do if you're an enneagram3? Again, easier said than done. Choose what's true, even if it doesn't impress. That's your real win, right? And I know I joke with Enneagram Threes. You guys don't do anything unless it's measurable. Because how do you know your wig if you can't measure it? Again, the wigs and your growth number and your tri type will really help with this. You know, having a four wig as an Enneagram three, you have a four and a two wings, so the two can help you find compassion and empathy. But the four will really help. You got to kind of go on this soul journey with what matters most to you. If it wasn't measurable, acknowledged, celebrated, recognized. That's the real flex for the Enneagram Threes. And busting through resistance for my Enneagram Fours. The individualist, the romantic, the intense creative, or for this episode, the depth dweller. Enneagram Fours are addicted to the feeling and what your resistance looks like. It convinces you that you must suffer spiral. Stay stuck until the perfect wave of inspiration hits. Right? But you're not a prisoner of your mood. Your depth is divine, but it's not an excuse to delay. I'm in a relationship with an enneagram4 and I see this all the time. And then they beat themselves up, right? So Enneagram Fours, this is full blown permission to create anyway. Lead anyway. Because your truth is bigger than your pain. And not everything beautiful can be created from the darkness and the depths, right? Your. Your imagination is full of Wonder. And it's full of magic without you accessing it just through the sorrow, the suffering. I know a lot of times some of your best creation has come from that, but that's kind of your Resistance flag waving, saying, we don't need to do it this way because it's so extreme sometimes for you guys, again, easier said than done. Use your wings. Know your tri type. Know your growth number. Super helpful for the Enneagram. Fives, the.

Investigator. Excuse me, I'm fighting allergies. Still the investigator. The quiet specialist. Or the knowledge collector. I see Fives in this resistance trap a lot. You'll spend hours, days, months, preparing, learning more, researching deeper. Resistance convinces you that you're just getting ready. The more you know, the more certainty you'll have. But you're hoarding all of this. You're hoarding insight instead of letting it breathe. And you'll never feel a hundred percent ready. And that's the point. Easier said than done. That's cute. I know. So what do you do? You speak. You share your act. You trust that your voice carries the wisdom the word world actually needs. And you'll have the energy to sustain it. Because that's where a lot of Eights gets. Or, I'm sorry, where a lot of Fives get stuck is in this energetic management. They believe, like, you know, if. If they share before they're ready, they'll be depleted, or if they share too much, that they'll be.

Kind of imposed upon and taken from. And so that's why, you know, Fives just keep gathering and hoarding information, and it just keeps you paralyzed. And that Resistance keeps you stuck for Enneagram Sixes. The loyal skeptic or the devoted doubter. You guys want to guarantee. Nobody on the Enneagram wants a certain guarantee to be prepared more than an enneagram 6. So resistance gives you the illusion of just one more check in. Or a little more clarity or. I have one more question. But all those plans and prep sessions, their paddock, their protection. A way to avoid the risk of being wrong. Or worse, alone. Or worse, blindsided. Or worse, all of it. The trifecta. Wrong, Worse, wrong, alone and blindsided. And it also amps up the fear and anxiety. Right?

The.

I just. But what about this? But what about this? I need to know this. Tell me more. I need to check in here. I need. You know, I. I know many enneagram6 is this loop of. But what about this? But what about this? But what about this really paralyzes you and creates more fear and anxiety than if you just took the leap. Jump, decide, move. Leadership isn't certainty, it's courage. And you know, if you love or lead an enneagram 6, you know, saying don't worry about it is so disrespectful. And even though, yes, like, they need to take a leap and reliance of faith and knowing that even if something comes up that they didn't prepare for, they are the prepared geniuses of the Enneagram that they will be able to pivot. So don't ever say to an enneagram6, don't worry about it, because, like, news flash, they're gonna fucking worry about it. So you can gently guide yourself if you're an enneagram6 or those that love and lean Enneagram Sixes to use their wings. You know, your. Your growth number is the enneagram9, which resides in faith a lot of the time and kind of a bigger perspective and the grander perspective of things without, like focusing on the what is happening and all the details and all the things. So again, why understanding your. Your accurate ideogram type is really important. Go get your blueprint right now. TraceyM. Ali.com telling you, like, seriously, it's the fast pass to transformation and understanding this. Okay, Enneagram seventh, the enthusiastic visionary. Or for this, I'm calling you guys the optimistic escapist, right? I see your resistance in the form of.

Reframing the positive outlook, that toxic positivity. I don't love that phrase, but that's kind of what sevens, what resistance looks like for a seven. You pivot so fast that sometimes you don't even know what you actually want. And resistance will whisper to an enneagram 7. It's too boring, it's too heavy. Find something lighter. I want to do something else. And, and none of that's like a bad thing to assess. But like, this is where that discernment, right? Is this like resistance that's growing me, or is this Resistan that's hindering me and keeping me stuck, actually. And I know for enneagram7, all these pivoting, all this pivoting makes you not feel stuck. But freedom isn't found in running. It's built when you stay. The five is your growth number. That five cave. The cocoon season, the. The incubator is where all your freedom is found. So you have to anchor in. You have to follow through. And that's where your expansion lives. Like be in the uncomfortableness of mundane and boring sometimes. I know all my Enneagram sevens Are like, girl, shut the up. And I know, I know. I'm raising an enneagram7. My besties are Enneagram Sevens. I understand. Like, that is a lot easier said than done. And understanding and integrating the beautiful framework of the Enneagram makes this easier. It helps you add the resistance that builds your emotional, spiritual muscles a lot faster. So this. This gets easier. You know, the reps build the confidence. So this is not something you could do through journaling through it. Like, you actually have to put the reps in and get your ass in the arena to do this. All right, My fellow Enneagram Eights, we are known as the Challenger, the Active Controller, or the Armored Commander.

Enneagram Eights, you charge ahead, full force resistance tells you that no one else could be trusted and that if you don't do it yourself, you'll be betrayed or.

You know, you might be put in a vulnerable situation. So, Enneagram Eights, what do we do? We armor up, we push harder, we tough. We tough our way through it. We keep people out. But that armor is also keeping your edge dulled.

And the more that I, like, push, suck it up. You know, power through. I mean, power through is my favorite phrase probably in the.

Prior 15 years, you know, 15 years ago, like, just suck it up and power through. Like, that was my, you know.

My battle cry. So what do Enneagram aids do? And this is going to be laughable because 15 years ago, I would have been like, that's so stupid. Go yourself. But we have to soften. We have to surrender, and we have to let support in. Because the real power, it doesn't come in that protection.

It.

It comes in being present and vulnerable. And this is way easier said than done, right? The wings, the. The growth, the tri type, all really, really helpful. Because left to your own enneagram 8ways, you will never do this, right? So we need that extra supported cast to come in and to do it. And I will tell you this like, I. The more I soften, the more that I surrender, the stronger actually I am, and the more powerful I am. The process isn't easy. So I'm telling you, for all the ideogram types, this process is not easy. But it's just like when we do squats at the gym, like, the first few days, like, we can't get up off the toilet, but the more that we are consistent and add on resistance, little by little, we get stronger, we walk taller, we feel more confident, and this is no different. And last, but absolutely never least, the Enneagram Nines, the adaptive Peacemaker, or the peaceful producer.

You've convinced yourself it's no big deal, but that's resistance numbing your edge. Enneagram Nines disappear into comfort, distraction, and other people's dreams.

You say you're waiting for the right.

Time, but time's been waiting on you.

You, right?

You say like, oh, it's not that big a deal. Oh, I can wait.

What they have to say is more important, but that's not actually what to do. So what you need to do is to speak up, to show up, because.

You are never meant to blend in.

You were meant to lead. You were meant to shine.

Your voice matters. Your opinion.

Your perspective is very unique and shows people how to do things in a way that others don't.

That. That others don't know how to.

But that's never going to feel natural for you. That's never going to feel natural for you.

So understanding how you're wired will be super helpful to do so.

All right, so how do we burn.

It down and choose ourselves all over again, right? Now that we've named how resistance shows up for you? Like, we have to do something about it, because when you know better, you gotta fucking do better, right? And again, you have to meet yourself with the compassion, with the curiosity, with the kindness, with the consistency. Otherwise the cycle will continue, and you're going to continue to be stuck and. And feel like. And feel like a fraud and all the things.

So one of the things I want.

You to start kind of reflecting on when you are becoming more aware of.

This and, you know, this is kind.

Of taking your own personal inventory again, with the asterisk of compassion attached to it. Where am I calling resistance wisdom? Right. This is a big one for me, and I do this a lot because I am smart and I have a lot of wisdom. I have a lot of experience in life, and I, you know, I know what I'm really good at. And also that wisdom can keep me isolating. It can keep me doing other things. So where are you calling resistance wisdom? I know you've read the books, listen to the podcasts. I was talking with a dear friend of mine last night who is going through it, and he was saying exactly that. He's been in the personal development world for 15 years. And, I mean, he is connected to some of the most powerful.

Teachers, guides, coaches, mentors of the world. And he's like, you know, I know all the things, but when it actually comes time to do the things, like, this is really hard. And. And like many of you, I said this straight to him and I've said it straight to myself. Like I've understood this stuff honestly since I was a nine year old. I was very aware and, and I could cognitively understand why things are the way they are. And you might too, like as I know I see all those notebooks you filled but. And like we're all walking around neck down dead if we don't actually feel our way through this. And again feeling it through compassion, through empathy, through understand, understanding through kindness.

Really, really important.

Another thing to ask yourself is where are you confusing sabotage with service? This is a big one. I do this one all the time, honestly, because again, I like to swoop in with my superhero cape and I do it very well and I do it honorably and it's super helpful for many, many people. And also it helps me bypass the shit I need to get done. The things that are a little more vulnerable for me. We love to do the things that.

We'Re really good at. When people are like, hey, can you.

Help me with this? And it's something that you know you can flex in regardless of your enneagram type, you're going to pick that over some of this harder stuff and that is keeping you stuck, right? Another thing to ask yourself, what am I afraid will happen if I actually move?

For a lot of you, it's not fear of failure. For many of you like myself, it's like what is it going to cost me if I shine bright? Or is this going to put me on the radar or you know, insert whatever that means for you. Resistance is loudest right before your break view breakthrough. And it wants to keep you safe. It want to keep, wants to keep you small. It want to keeps you spitting out of control. And so this is really good news. If you're like me and resistance is at its all time high and you're like, oh like you feel like you just put 800 pounds on the squat rack and you're trying to drop it low. Like good news is, is the breakthrough is coming. But you gotta stay lean, leaning in because here's the truth. You're not lazy. You're not any of those things.

You're not.

You'Re just armored up, you're trying to protect these parts of you that we don't want to be exposed. You're not behind, you're more than ready. And if you're listening to this right now, I want you to know like when the student is ready, the teachers and the tools appear and the enneagram is the greatest tool of my lifetime, next to my faith. Honestly, this is my Swiss army knife. This is why I'm so passionate about teaching it to you. It's why I'm so passionate about helping you integrate this in your life. It's why I'm building a fucking certification to teach you how to use this not just for yourself, but with other people. That's coming, by the way, because reclaiming your edge is not one single moment. It's a thousand tiny choices made on repeat. One breath, one compassionate, brave move. One decision to stop hiding and start rising at a time.

Right?

The reps build the confidence, but you have to get in the arena and you have to meet yourself with compassion. So if this landed, let it do something inside of you. Not let it like hold space in your head. Like, let it do something from the neck down for you and let it help you move into action. You can tag me. I would love, if you're on Instagram, to share this episode with somebody. You can share about what resistance in disguise might look like for you. And if you're ready to do this for real, like, like I said, number one step is get your Enneagram blueprint. At the very minimum, I'm also doing.

Add ons, like 30 minute live readings where we just kind of where I.

Go through it, you can record it, all the things. If you want to deep dive into the entire framework with specificalities to your life, you can do a one on one 90 minute session. Or if you want me in your back pocket for, you know, several months, there's that option too.

Seriously?

Seriously. This is life changing to help you use resistance to grow you instead of to stifle you. Because the edge is not what broke you. It built you and you have to find it again. Many of you have lost your edge, so let's go find it and honor it and own your edge. The way that I know you were meant to go to tracyomalley.com for all the things in the show. Notes are everything about, you know, a session. Your blueprint, my Instagram Share this Leave a Review Seriously, the more people that are understanding what kind of edge the Enneagram can bring to your life, the more that we can really shine our lights together. So until next time, you guys, I'm here to help you find the edge in you.

And that's a wrap on today's Dive into the Edge. If this episode hit you in the gut or lit a fire under your ass, good, that means it's working. Here's the deal. Transformation is not a checkbox. It's a damn decision. And the Enneagram? It's your ultimate power tool when you actually know how to use it. If you loved today's episode, share it with somebody who's ready to stop playing small subscribe, leave a review, and if you're really feeling brave, shoot me a message and tell me what crack dopamine for you. Remember, your edge isn't something to be polished down. It's part of you that was always meant to lead. Until next time, stay sharp, stay true, and keep walking. Your edge.