Simple Gifts with Tracy O'Malley

This is the Amber Lillostrom Show, a podcast for the visionary, the audacious dreamer, and the movement maker. Each week we will bring you compelling conversations to help you dream beyond where you've been, expand your capacity for more, and elevate your energy to a place of massive growth and true fulfillment. I'm Amber Lilleistrom, the author of Paddle Home and Master your Money Mind. I'm a seven figure business mentor and homeschooling mama on a mission. And I'm a firm believer that if the dream is in you, it's for you. Are you ready? Let's rock.

Hello friend, and welcome back to the show. I am so excited for what is about to happen here on the podcast in this first month of January 2023. Happy New Year to you. I am bringing to the show the Simple Gifts series that I released to my community. Maybe some of you had the opportunity to check it out at the end of Dec in 2022. And the interviews were so incredible. I my team and I sat down and said, we've got to bring these over to the podcast. Now these are familiar friends that we have had on the podcast before, but the format of the conversations that I had with each of them this time were focused on the top five lessons that they gleaned from 2022. These conversations are to the point, they are pretty brief in the way of an interview and they are power packed. I' receiving emails and messages from my community who has been absolutely delighting in the video versions of these interviews. And if that's something you want to check out and you want to watch the videos and you want to have that immersive experience versus just listening to the interviews on the podcast. You can go to amber lilliarstrom.com Simple Gifts and sign up to get access to all six of the interviews right away. Now, who are in these interviews? Well, we've got Tim Storey, we've got Allison bird, we've got Dr. Cleopatra, we've got my mentor, Rosemary Bradison, we have Tracy o' Malley and Ben and I coming to the chair to sit down and talk to you about what we learned. These shares are straight from the pages of our journals. They are intimate, they are raw, they are real. And they're unlike most podcast conversations that you hear. We don't need to dig into the origin stories. We just got to get to the heartbeat. And I really wanted to know what was on top for these incredible, incredible industry leaders, mentors and teachers and dear friends. And I wanted to bring it to you. So we are going to be releasing these conversations here on the podcast. I believe two, maybe it's the next three weeks, two per week are going to be going out and we are so excited about this and I hope you enjoyed as much as I did in having these conversations. This is the Simple Gifts interview series and I introduce you to our very first guests and it's going to just flow like this for the next three weeks. And so you're going to hear this intro for each week, each episode, and it's going to be a surprise with who is coming next for you. I am thrilled to be able to share content like this. I am thrilled to be able to get to the heartbeat of what is most meaningful and to utilize this platform that is this podcast to reach tens of thousands of you all over the world with wisdom and insights and perspectives that help you expand. Because that's what this is all about. All right, enjoy the show.

Before we get into this conversation, I'm going to invite you to explore something really exciting that is happening and it is happening the week of January 23rd. It is called the Emerge Three Day Challenge and I am going to be gathering live with a community of amazing folks to teach the art of marketing over the course of the week. We're going to meet the first day on January 23rd at 1pm and the topic is the art of marketing, magnetism and money. We'll be meeting on Wednesday the 25th to talk about activating your gift and showing up online. And we'll be meeting on the third day, January 27th and talking about monetizing your genius and your brand brilliance. If you have been kind of waiting in the background, if you have been holding back, if you have been feeling over ready to share your gift to start building a business that helps you not only share that gift but make money for sharing that gift. This is the three day challenge for you. We are going to be giving out prizes. We are going to be doing coaching in this group space. It is going to be super intimate and deeply, deeply powerful with daily activations to help you not only take what I'm teaching but also bring it to life in real time. You can head over to amberlyloucham.com emerge e m e R G E to get your seat and to join us for the kickoff on January 23rd. If you are listening to this after the fact, if January 23rd has already passed when you are hearing this conversation, you can go over to Amberly.com emerge and access the space where all of the trainings are and come on in. And we will welcome you with open arms. You are not too late to the party. All right, friends, enjoy today's episode.

All right, friends, welcome back to the simple gifts conversation. Tracy, I just realized that I am going to use the video for this, so. Okay.

I'm okay.

You look amazing. You look amazing. Wait, but this is us. Like, this is the real real. So I just. I totally forgot that we're using video for this. So good.

Hi, everybody.

Here's Tracy.

Hi, guys.

Is my girl. All right. So as you know, watching these interviews, friends, we are. We are tapping into the top five lessons of 2022. Tracy has been on the podcast before. I've been on her podcast before. She's become a beloved friend in 2022, which is actually one of the greatest gifts of 2022. And we just had the most amazing experience getting to be at Keisha's. Empower her. Our friend Keisha Gmentri's. I always say her last name wrong. Can you say it for me?

Get Mary.

Get Mary. Used to be Fitzgerald. Now it's Get Mary. Thank you. Live event in Phoenix. And that's where you live. And we both spoke on stage and had these incredible experiences. And then we went paddleboarding on the Salt river.

With Ani, my daughter, who's 9, so we could see wild horses. And you are our trusty guide. And failed.

You guys though, didn't you? We sure did. I almost hit one at one point, which was also hilarious. Like, I liter literally peed my leggings, laughing so hard. We saw horses for the first. What would you say, like maybe 2ish hours?

Yeah, tons of hundreds.

Hundreds of horses. It was incredible. It was like. Was that the most you've ever seen on a. On a river?

100.

It was amazing. We manifested the most incredible. What we thought would be a 2ish hour river tour turned into four. The sun was setting behind the mountains. We were being assaulted by bugs. It was like freezing cold by the end of it.

Oh.

That will always be an experience that we will just cackle at forever.

And one of my favorite days of all time.

One of my favorite days of all time. It was so cool and so fun and what an amazing adventure to get to be together. And sorry to your friend for losing multiple pieces of the paddleboard.

On the highway. My truck didn't care over it.

We had the best meal of our entire lives at True Food Kitchen after though. And I still dream about that meal and what that felt like, getting to eat that food together after that Wild experience. So anyway, what a gift, what a treasure that we got to have that together in 2022. Tracy's an enneagram expert, you guys. She's so much more than that. She's a mom to two amazing adult kids who are total rock stars in their own right. She is fur baby mama. She's got a bunch of dogs that are her, her buddies and they're so cute. She is a amazing keynote speaker and teacher and absolute bullshit slayer. She's just a rock star, you know, among us. And it is a privilege to get to just do life with you.

It honestly, with as crazy as 2022 has been for so many of us, and it's hard to see the gifts and the miracles that happen when it's a shit show. You 100 are the single handedly greatest gift of 2022. For me, that came as a result of the shit shows. Like I. You were there before that, but like you emerged in a whole different way for me. And some of the greatest lessons I got was from that and because of you.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

So much. And you know, it's like we just, we got so much time, you know, this is the beauty of friendship. It's that we just get to continue to grow together, you know, through life and.

Whoa.

Yeah. Wow. So I am just really excited to hear about the, the lessons, you know, the simple gifts, which they're definitely not simple at all. Maybe you should have called this something different. But simple gifts of 2022, I am dying to hear your top five.

Well, just because they're simple doesn't mean it's easy. That they are very, very simple and it makes perfect sense. Like one of the things I learned in recovery was kiss keep it simple stupid or keep it simple, sweetheart. Right? Keep the main thing. The main thing. But when you are.

Dealing with your own nervous system, your own triggers, your own traumas, your own kind of moving parts in your life, it's real easy to throw it all out the window and make it really freaking complicated. Very fast.

Very fast.

And so like some of my personal lessons, like I've said this a lot, like 2022, hands down, hardest year of my life. Hardest year of my life and absolutely my very favorite. For all the same reasons that it was hard without all that hard, I don't experience the extreme joy. And that's, that's one of the biggest lessons is you have to have contrast in order for you to experience the pure joy, fulfillment, just explosion of gratitude. You have to Experience extreme loss and extreme pain. And. And I know it's for a long, long time, I manufactured all that to experience the joy, because I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go do this. But manufacturing is different than, like, having faith that everything is going how it's supposed to. Right? Like, manufacturing some stuff is still a form of control. That's not a true surrender. And for a lot of times, I'd manufacture that so that I had control even if it was blowing up my life. At least it was at my hands and I was holding the dynamite rather than letting anybody else grab the stick and throw it, you know? So how do you want me to explain these five big, personal.

Let's just start with one, because I know I'm gonna have things to say, so just bring it. What's number one?

Vulnerability. And that is something as an enneagram. Eight is. My biggest fear is vulnerability, but it's also my greatest superpower. And vulnerability isn't storytelling. Right. I think a lot of times when we share parts of our past, people have said to me, oh, my God, that's so vulnerable. Thanks for being so vulnerable. I'm like, none of that shit was vulnerable. That was me telling a story of something I already figured out. That's not vulnerability. Right? Right.

Oh, man, that was so good. Okay.

Right?

That was so good.

True vulnerability is in real time, real time saying, I don't know how this is going to go. I don't know how to get out of this, and I need your help. I need your wisdom, I need your love, I need your safe place to fall. That, my friends, is vulnerability in real time.

And every different Enneagram number has a different way of navigating invulnerability. Right?

Yes. Which is exactly part of number one is honoring that intuition. Right? But I think our body and our intuition is our main compass. But because we've experienced so much life and evidence that that doesn't always.

That isn't always to be trusted, at least from our opinion, because it doesn't go how our brains and our hearts want it to go. That's where we kind of bypass the intuition in our body and we default into one of these Enneagram types. So using the Enneagram as a compass has allowed me to tap into the vulnerability a lot faster, a lot more mean, more intent behind it. It's not just me, like, throwing vulnerability out there, dropping bombs, and then, like, hiding in my five cave. Right? Like, I use the Enneagram as the compass to maintain and stay in that Vulnerability so that I can have the intimacy, the companionship, the support, the love that I've always desired and I always deserved, but was so, so, so afraid of. But a lot of times, because we bypass our intuition so much, even those of us that are very skilled in honoring it, the Enneagram can serve as a compass to bring us right back to it. And where we honor our intuition is where we find the vulnerability.

Ooh, so good.

That is big.

I just wrote this question down to journal later for myself of what does vulnerability feel like to you? What does it feel like? What is the actual sensation when you know vulnerability is. Is right there?

Well, that will take me to one of my other bullet points, will go out of order and how I wrote them. But the body never lies and the body never forgets. So when our brains and our hearts and our instincts want to take over, which are the three centers of intelligence in the Enneagram, and wherever your Enneagram type is, that default, right? But before we go into a center of intelligence, that body and that intuition never forgets. So before I go off all in my eight zone, or even in the other tools that I use in the framework of the Enneagram, I check my body first. And a craziest thing that happened to me when I was really getting into listening to the body, because as an eight, I want to think I'm so freaking powerful and can override anything. And a lot of times, for 40 years, I overrode my own body trying to tell me something the entire time. And although, yeah, I had evidence to prove that I was very powerful, I also, like, abandoned my body. And it's the very vessel for us to be able to do what we do. So I. When I was going into, like, more of this kind of coaching space about six years ago, I took four different women to this retreat. I rented an rv, took them out in the middle of nowhere, set up a little campsite, a little fire pit, all the things. And we were like, halfway through the thing, and we were sitting by the fire, and it was just, like, casual. It wasn't coaching. It wasn't anything. It was like, you know, just giggling and stuff. And all of a sudden, in my body, I started to feel like my heart race.

My. My. My body got really hot. And in the past, I just think I'm hot. Like, I'm always burning hot, which I always have. But instead of ignoring it and just bypassing it and just, you know, whatever, I was like, guys, what's going on? Because I know that feeling. I know that feeling, and it's not necessarily a good feeling. Right, Right. But my body was in fight or flight, but everything was Kumbaya in front of us. Not 15 seconds later, two campgrounds over, a big drunken fight broke out. Oh, where people are punching each other. And my body remembered that I grew up in that. My body and my energy felt that happening long before my consciousness and my awareness did. And so before you kind of go into default or. Or doing things how you think they should, really check what's going on in your body, because it doesn't forget and it never lies to you, but what you do with that information is free will, and you can let that run riot or not. I've quit doing that. So that's my internal compass. And. And our intuition is kind of bodied into our body.

So, yeah, you just gave me the wisdom trace of just recognizing because I can totally relate to that disassociation.com over here. And L, like, trained. I was talking about this this morning with Ani, actually. We were talking about pain. And, yeah, Ani is very strong response to pain. The smallest thing. She's like, oh, I don't like that. Because that didn't. That. That hurts me. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, we were walking up a hill the other day, and she's like, oh, this hurts so much. And I was like, oh, like your legs, like, walking up a hill, they're burning. She's like, yeah, I don't like that feeling. I was like, oh, okay. Okay, honey. Um, and just thinking about, you know, as the athlete and me being literally conditioned to override and to actually, like, go to pain and how that is just such a foundational. I don't. I don't actually understand how to exist without in some ways, seeking pain. So that's really a fascinating thing to reveal for oneself and having a mirror of a child. But thinking about what you just opened for me, that you said that 15 seconds. It's like, when you actually are really tapping into your body and using it as the divine, attuned instrument that it is, how much more can you open yourself to receive and perceive? I mean, that is not an answerable question, but it is really cool to.

Think about not only receive and perceive, but also really understand the things you have to let go in your life.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I think we have so much clutter not just in things, but in people in our life sometimes. And I'm not dismissing anybody's feelings or heart or, like, but sometimes people's part of the story's over and in your body, you know it. Yeah, you do.

I.

You know, we'll probably get into a little bit of the biggest lesson of 2022 came in that, like, my body and my intuition knew about six months before the trigger was actually pulled.

Oh, man. That's the truth.

I can relate to that, you know what I'm saying? So really trusting it, even if it doesn't make sense, even if it's going to disrupt the shit out of your life, like, the more that you dishonor and ignore that, the harder the lesson is going to come at a very, very inconvenient time. It definitely will not be fun, and it will hurt, and it might cost you, not just financially.

So I. I learned that the hard way. I think, you know, because I had a bot. Full body breakdown six years ago, in my health, I was forced into honoring the body in a way. You know, I've struggled with eating disorders my whole life.

And that was a true abandonment of the vessel. Right. And dishonoring the body. And when, you know, I was diagnosed with lyme disease and had breast implant illness, like, I didn't have a choice but to be in my body and really take it to its foundation in such a beautiful way. I would never wish any of that on anyone, but I wouldn't trade it for anything because it really gave me this lesson of the body never forgets, the body never lies, and it is the true compass of all things.

Okay, let's go on to number three.

Okay, number three, check your ego. And I don't mean this in a, like, bad way, because if the ego is there to protect us. Right, Right. I think, like, I can be very in my ego as an enneagram 8. The bravado, you know, the whole stealthy thing that I do, like, that is about ego, and the ego is always trying to protect us. Again, I will refer back to number two. Like, the body never lies and the body never forgets. So usually the body gets the hit first, and then the ego takes over. Right? So kind of what I shared at Keisha's event, like, you know, in my body, I was feeling like, oh, my gosh, who the hell am I to be speaking on this stage and closing out this event? Who the hell am I? In my body? I was feeling it, but then my ego started to take over. Right. And instead of operating in that ego, I was like, okay, what. What am I really afraid of? Because that ego and anger kind of. They're kind of best friends a little bit it's just the bodyguard for sadness and fear.

One second.

Did I freeze? Okay.

So my ego was there to protect me, right? Because I was feeling very scared, very insecure in the moment. And my ego was telling me, like, you know what you can do to feel better? You know what you can do to feel powerful and that you have full control and that, like, we can make all this scary stuff go away. You can go do this. And although doing that would have been very serving many people, I knew that it was coming from the wrong places for me. And so I had to honor my own soul and my own intuition and not operate in that so that I could actually do what I was divinely gifted to do the next day. So checking your ego and, and meeting it with compassion, not shame. I think a lot of times when we catch ourselves in ego, we can beat ourselves up for like, oh my God, I'm such. Or I'm so selfish, or whatever the story is for you. When you find yourself in ego, know that it is there protecting you for some reason. If the more that you can get into the vulnerable places to identify it, the faster. But if you meet it with shame, you're going to stay stuck. You're going to stay stuck. You might move on, but it's going to keep showing up. So the more that you can meet yourself and these parts of you with compassion, you can work together with that ego to. To move forward into what you're here to do.

For sure.

Really good.

Compassion is the cure all, isn't it? It is.

And, and compassion doesn't come with feeling sorry for anyone or paying anyone. That's not compassion, that's judgment, actually. And that goes for yourself too. Like a lot of times we can think we're being compassionate with ourselves, but we're actually judging it. We're just polishing it up with what we're calling ourselves, giving it, giving ourselves grace. And actually you're just enabling more of your own bullshit.

True compassion is. Has no attachment. It's like, I understand this is scary. I know this is hard. We're still going to move forward though. But I've got.

It was like me getting dressed before my speaking event and being like, none of my clothes are working. And Tracy was so even keeled and being like, let's just try this.

Yeah, let's try this. And I could feel that part of you inside of you that was scared. Yeah, scared. And if I was just like, suck it up, it's not that big a deal. Or just wear whatever, like, that doesn't make that part of you feel any better, it's like, okay, well, let's. Let's see what this feels like on and this. Let's feel like this feels like on. And when we're doing this for ourselves, we do have to try some different things. On. It's true. To kind of calm it down. Which will take me to number. Whatever number we're on.

Four. On four. Four.

Is really just moving for your nervous system.

Yeah.

Not for the mirror.

You know, when we are dysregulated again, that goes back to the body. It goes back to the intuition. You know, we can understand. This is where personal development can get a little tricky. And all this mindset work is just cognitive, and it's amazing. But what happens is so many of you are walking around neck down de.

Dead.

Neck down dead, even though your whole nervous system is dysregulated. I was the epitome of that. I'm not judging because I. I'm the walking, talking billboard, wrote the book on the kind of person. Right. My nervous system is going, what the actual Is going on all the time. And I'm just like, I got this. I got this. Yeah. And, you know, with, you know, disordered eating and stuff in my past, I can go into like, let's move the body. Let's sling weights. Let's kick some ass. Let's, like, punch things, like. And that doesn't actually help my nervous system regulate. It actually makes it worse. And because of that body breakdown, I remember when I got. When I was like, I'm gonna go do hot yoga. Like, even though you would think hot yoga is very calming, it's. It's intense. It's intense. It's intense. So I did seven days in a row of it and almost put my liver in cirrhosis.

Goodness, yeah.

Like, I was borderline in cirrhosis. Ironic is the girl who'd been sober eight years at that point, like, it was crazy. So now, like, one of the intentions. I have two intentions. Every morning. Every single freaking morning, it's God, please allow any thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories to come up that I need to address so that I can heal or continue to heal, so that I can step into the calling that you have on my life and be and do the greatest good for us all, number one. So you're inviting in all of that. The number two is the part that has to do with the nervous system. God, please allow me and guide me to move the vessel that you have gifted me with so that I can move any of this energy that comes up through and out of me so that I can step into the calling that you have on my life and do and be the greatest good for us all. Now what. What happens is, is for me, for somebody like me, who is, you know, very assertive, aggressive, more type A, I lived in my masculine energy most of my life. I definitely honor the feminine in me. Today, it's very more regulated. But it came in this working and moving for my nervous system, not for the mirror or for control or to feel powerful. And so when I was honoring what was being told to me by God, the divine, the universe was get in water, get on a paddle board.

Do yoga without the hot room, lay on the mat and do nothing, walk. And every part of the eight in me and the aggressive part of me is like, that doesn't feel strong and powerful. That feels vulnerable. And the cool part is, is my health has never been better at 50 years old. And not only that, I look pretty damn good, and I'm more comfortable with my body than I've ever been in my entire life. Yeah. And so moving for my nervous system instead of the mirror, not it. Not only do I look and feel better, but I'm honoring the very vessel so that I can operate in intuition instead of ego a lot more.

So good.

Thank you for sharing that prayer. That was awesome.

You're right.

What's our grand finale?

Trace the grand finale. And this goes for all of you is just because you can doesn't mean you should. Yeah. And for all of you, that's going to look really, really different. So, you know, being an enneagram8, I like to be the. The strong one and the rock. And even though I'm really, really great at it, I have to be able to discern, is this for the greatest good of me and this person and the universe and the situation, or is this me trying to flex and fill a need of my own? Right. So a lot of times, as that rock strength, especially as a parent, like, there are a lot of times I can see very clearly what needs to happen, and I can swoop in and save the day. And although, yes, I feel really great as a mom doing that, and although, yes, I help them bypass some pain, what I do is rob them of their lesson and also chip away at their confidence that they can do things on their own. Now, as a coach as well, I mean, I have a lot of answers and a lot of wisdom in 50 years and a lot of experience that, you know.

I could really give them some easier answers. But I think we all have evidence in our life that some of the greatest lessons we've learned came at the heels of something really hard that probably somebody could have stopped.

Now, there are times and places that it's a hell, yes, I am intervening right now, and I will be the strong one. But it isn't to fill my own cup or for my flex. And again, this takes discernment and radical honesty with yourself. The other thing that I think we do as.

High achieving people is if the calendar has space, then we fill it. Or if somebody asks us something, the first thing we do is look at our calendar, right? And especially all my enneagram twos and nines out there that love to help people, like, it's. It's your superpower and it is your superpower, but just because you can doesn't mean you should. Because you, you're missing out, leaving room for the miracles to happen. And I'm somebody who's like, more is better. More is better. More is better. And what happened is, is because I committed to so much more when I was really needed for something really, really important. I didn't have the space and I got angry and was filled with resentment and not being grateful for the very thing I asked for. So just because you can doesn't mean you should. And all my enneagram threes out there, if you see a goal and know you could crush it, doesn't mean it's what you should be doing, because you might get to the end zone or the goal line and feel nothing. So honoring the soul line versus the goal line is something that just because you can doesn't mean you should. And so before I open my mouth, whether it's to my kids or a client or a friend, even like you, you know, I can't. I can. My energy is the rock. And I know that it doesn't mean I have to operate with my words and actions in doing that because I don't want to rob anybody and enable them and staying stuck and not building their own confidence to know that they don't need me in order to be strong, they don't need me in order to have the wisdom. And you know, a lot of times this just because you can doesn't mean you should. We want to really break down codependency patterns, right? And how that looks for all of us is really, really, really different. And in different relationships, I show up in that very differently. And really taking that pause is like, I can do this, but why? Why should or shouldn't I do this. And by me not just swooping in all the time.

Not only have I had a mass exodus in my life because I'm not doing that anymore. And people are like, you're abandoning me? I'm like, no, I'm not abandoning you. I'm actually helping you. But you don't see it that way. It feels very abandoning right now because the dynamic we have had this thus far, I have enabled that because my superpower is to be this. But I haven't helped you. I've actually hindered you. And now that I'm not doing that anymore, you're angry at me and I understand and you are leaving and I get it. But I'm so grateful for that because I had a codependent bond that I wasn't even fully aware of in several relationships.

But what happened by me not doing it just because I should, is it allowed the gift of Amber Lillystrom to be the friend, like, we've been friends, but, like, really be my friend. And, and for these other four things that I just shared with you, for all of that to be possible was because of making room for the miracles to happen, for the Ambers to really step in as the friend that I've always needed and always wanted and always desired and always deserved. Quite honestly, most of my life couldn't have happened without 1 through 4. And then really, like, keeping the space open for these miracles to happen so that I can do what I'm here to do on this earth. So they're all tied together.

But isn't it. It's just. It's so beautiful how it's unfolded and it's just such a cool thing to have this conversation in this, you know, cumulative way to look at that list and, and to glean the insights. And I'm certain that the people watching this are going to get what they needed to get from it. So just thank you for sharing that and thank you for being exactly who you are. And you know, I love that you just don't hold anything back in life and in love and in your own learning and, you know, growth journey. And it's just. It's really, really cool and it's really empowering. And I think, you know, I think same, same, right. Like being able to welcome a friend like you in that is that rock energy. Because bringing a friend like Tracy onto the roster, right? And having you be one of those really close friends, it's like there's just. There's no bullshit. You know, there just isn't any space for that. And Even the parts where I wobble, it's like you get. You help bolster that just by being who you are. I'd say vice versa, you know, in totally other ways. You know, it's really cool because then it's like, when you have your really, like, amazing friends, you can think like, well, what would. Like, sometimes they're not even there. You're not even reaching out to them, but you're like, well, what would they say? You know, like, what would Tracy say about this? Or, what would, you know, what would Rachel say about this? Like, what is that? Reflection. And it's just truly, like, some of the most. The beautiful aspects of being a human is this. It's having intimacy and friendship and relationship and allowing ourselves to be seen and then finding new edges of vulnerability, which I think we both did together in Phoenix. And, you know, like, you did my makeup for me. I'm a freaking Virgo, like, perfectionist, and I let you do my makeup, and you did an amazing job, and I was super grateful. And then when I did my event, I was, like, texting you in the morning. I'm like, I wish you were here to do my makeup for me. But right. Like, you had to be vulnerable and willing to do that, and I had to be vulnerable in allowing myself to receive support. I know both of us. That's an area for us where we're like, nope, got it. All set. I got everything. I'm good. I don't need any help. I can carry all my own damn bags. I saw you with your Christmas trees, by the way. And, you know, and it's like, we really are that strong. Like, we really are that capable. We really can. We really can actually do it ourselves. And also, whoa. When we let the love in.

It has been the greatest. Aha. For 2022 with, you know, the breakdown of a friendship and a friendship divorce. Quite honestly, that went mean girl on me. It was very vulnerable. And when it happened, my first instinct, quite honestly, was, God, please don't harden my heart from this, because I knew I needed to tap into the women in my life instead of using this one experience as the end all, be all example for women in my life, which goes way back to my own mom. Quite honest. Honestly.

It always does, doesn't it?

It always does. But, like, in that moment, my. My only prayer was, please don't harden my heart to the. The beautiful friends like Amber and Keisha. My life.

Yeah.

Because I do need them. And true intimacy can only happen with that true, real time not knowing how the Hell, things are going to go vulnerability, and it's the scariest thing I do. Still, even trusting you fully, it's still really, really scary for me. And I'm just so grateful that I have people like you. Yeah.

Truly. True, true, true.

That room was made. Room was made because like you said, when you have a friend like Amber on your roster, there isn't room for clutter and taking an inventory of who and what is in your space and in your energy to have this high caliber, high level of support, friendship, love, unconditional everything, you have to make room for it. And not everybody and not everything's going to make the cut. And that's a very hard thing to be faced with. With. And like I said, if you don't honor it, the universe will make room. If it's really what you want. Manifestation is very powerful when you are taking the proper action to make happen. If you're not moving fast enough things.

The wave. The waves will get you.

They do.

Oh, they really do. Oh, my gosh. Well, I am. Thank you, profound, daughter, in the way that you talk about my friendship and what a. What a treasure, you know, to. To have that opportunity and, you know, just the way that I can just be my exact full self. It's just. It's so new, too. So. It's so new. But when I really think about it, like, my less than one hand, you know, those intimate friends in my life where we've weathered the waves and all that, it's like, oh, yeah, I always can just be exactly who I am in all of my imperfections and all of my brilliance and my bigness, my boldness, like, they already know and, you know, and it's like, it really does feel like a mirror for the way that I love my friends. And, you know, then I can see in the places where, you know, there's been heartache in the past and where those friendships fizzled and where there was like, oh, it was just like an imbalance. Like, it couldn't.

It just.

There wasn't. That reciprocity piece with. Was not intact. And. And, you know, and I'm sure that they experience that in their own way, too. And with me. And that's okay. You know, that's just totally okay. It's part of how the seasons of life go. But what a good one we're in, huh?

Oh, my gosh. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for the contrast so that when it does show up, like, really, really, you know, it. You know it. And I. I wouldn't have known that without the opposite. Yeah. And it's. It's such a gift when you can slow down enough to see the miracles in the madness sometimes and even in the hurt. We all do recover. We all do.

If.

And, you know, I don't like anything happens for a reason because some heinous, horrible shit happens. But I am a firm believer that anything that does and. And could happen, we can create something magical and beautiful out of it if we choose to. And so that's what I'm choosing to do. And if 2022 is really, really hard on you, you have an opportunity right now to make it mean something and don't let it go to waste. Like, take every bit of hardness, happiness, hurtfulness, and. And turn it into what you're supposed to be here doing, whether it's as a mom, as a friend, as a partner, as a business owner, as a coach, whatever that looks like for you. It's all part. It's all important, and it all matters for. For the greater good of the story that is your life.

Happy New Year, Trace.

Happy New Year, my friend.

So excited. Hey, your Enneagram blueprint. Yeah, We've got a whole thing going on with that. And have we set up our. My partner.

Yep. Yep.

Situation with that? Okay. How does it work?

So you go to Tracy o' Malley dot com. You use the code word amber, and you will get a special discount to get your Enneagram blueprint. So the Enneagram is a really cool thing. We didn't even talk much about it, but 65 to 70.

I kind of love that we didn't. I kind of love. We didn't need to. And also, this whole thing you're talking about right here, right now, y'.

All.

Okay, Keep going. And then I'm gonna share my excitement about this.

Yeah. So 65 to 70% of the Enneagram online assessments are inaccurate. And for me to be able to do and really embody those five things I just shared with you has every freaking thing to do with the Enneagram. Because if I am left to my own ways, I will be like a bull in a china shop. I will go rogue. And so the Enneagram provided me a roadmap and some framework and a system for me to keep my ego, my heart, my soul in check in a beautiful, beautiful, honoring way. Right. And so for 10 years, I have been using and integrating and teaching the Enneagram, but I wouldn't put my name on any of the assessments because they were all wrong and inaccurate. And it's only been in the last year that I feel really, really great about what I can bring you. It's 95% accuracy. And when you have the right information and you have your right roadmap up, you can do those five things and elegantly flow through all five of those beautiful personal lessons a lot easier with a lot less wreckage. And so not only do you get typed accurately, you also get a very customized 75 page blueprint. It's like your. Your soul handbook, basically.

It's amazing. And I can't even believe the amount of work you put in.

I'm so proud of it. Books, Tracy.

They are. Whoa. Like, it could be all published into one, like, amazing guide. It.

The.

It's beautiful, you guys. I'm very particular about resources, the way things look. Like, I couldn't. I still have so much more to go through in the one that you sent me for me. And these books are. The value is insane.

It's super, super valuable and actual, like, tools. Like, it's like, yeah, instruction manual. Like, especially as we're building these emotional intelligence muscles. It's just like building the muscles in the gym. We don't decide tomorrow we want a JLO booty and go do a couple sets of squats and be like, cool. We got this. It takes unconditional commitment. It takes consistency. And it's gonna hurt sometimes because in order to build the muscles, we have to keep adding resistance. And so if you have your blueprint right, which is accurate, like, hallelujah, then you go listen to my podcast and get some more integration tools. Or you spend, you know, 90 minutes with me and I, you know, I'm like the fast pass to understanding this.

Yeah.

Like, it's like 10 years accelerated into 90 minutes for you. Or you spend a couple months with me in your back pocket, you're able to build that emotional intelligence muscle at a pace that it's taken me 10 years to do. I've helped people do it in a very short amount of time. And that's the. The beauty of me going first for you. But it's something like, I have never felt more proud of anything I've put out there, ever. Ever. And that's the true testament, because as an eight manifesting generator, unless I'm passionate about it, I'm not gonna, like, do it. And because I've done it and I've done it so beautifully and in integrity, it's why you definitely want to get your hands on one.

For sure. Yeah. Yeah. So they go to your website, they Use the code Amber at checkout. They get the assessment.

They take the assessment. They'll get their result.

They'll get their results. So what happens is, is you go. You. You put in the code Amber at checkout. You'll get an email from my. My right hand, Megan, and she'll give you a very special link to take your assessment. Take 30 to 45 minutes. You know, just know it's. And just answer it as honesty, as honestly as you can. It'll figure out if you're lying or not.

So.

Or what maybe you're not sure about.

Out. Don't answer it the way you think you're supposed to answer it. Just answer it with the truth.

With your truth. Nobody's gonna see your answers. It doesn't really matter.

And you can't fail the Enneagram, y'.

All.

So whatever your number is, your number. And you know, it's. It's a magical part of you.

Yeah. And learn how to leverage it. Like, this is the key is, like, having the right information, like, allows you to leverage all your gifts and see your blind spots with compassion. The reason I have compassion for myself is because of the Enneagram, because I just thought I was an. I just did. I was like, no wonder I have no real friends. No wonder, like, I'm supposed to live alone and be alone the rest of my life.

Oh, my gosh.

But when I understood the. The gifts and the blind spots of the eight, I was able to really lean into all of it. So, yeah, it's powerful, beautiful information when you have the right information. And unfortunately, that is the catch with the Enneagram is artificial intelligence is great, but it can't take a lot of the things that you've experienced in your life, the traumas, the secrets that you carry. And the assessment that I do is 95% accurate. And I've done thousands of testing with people, and I think I've had three or four inaccurate, including yours. Yours was inaccurate? Yeah, mine was.

Yep. So, y', all, you'll go do this. I love that Megan's going to email you the assessment because it is that custom. And then once you get your result, you will. Megan will send you your guidebook. So you'll get your blueprint book for your type and your subtype, Right? Both.

Yep. Your type, your subtype, both. Your wings, your growth numbers, your stress numbers. How to use the Enneagram, how not to use the Enneagram. So where you can find more information on how to actually use this beautiful tool to accelerate the transformation in your life. I'm all about it.

So good. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year, everybody. Happy Hanukkah. Go get enneagrammed up with tr And I love you, my friend. Thank you.

Love you too. Let's go 20, 23. Let's do it.

Let's do it, y'.

All.

Let's do a little high five. Let's go get this. Let's do it.

Boom, boom. Happy New Year, guys.

Thanks for listening. I'm so grateful to get to share in this time with you. And if you love this episode and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you, I want to ask you to please take a few seconds to share this episode with them and tell them what made you think of them. Send them the gift of your thought and the invitation to experience this conversation. Also, if you can head on over and leave a five star review, it would mean the world to me to share this mission with as many listeners as we possibly can and I need your help. Thank you for being here here. I so appreciate you and I'm so grateful to call you a community member and I look forward to seeing you back here on our next episode.